


Self Indulgence

by Masmkasm



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Cannon Divergence, Domestic Fluff, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Sex, Eventual Smut, F/M, Gore, Mild Gore, Modern Girl in Thedas, Multi, Original Character - Freeform, Self Insert, Slow Burn, critical role - Freeform, kind of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2018-06-05 05:07:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 30
Words: 194,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6690907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Masmkasm/pseuds/Masmkasm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I decided that I really hate the last Modern Girl In Thedas fic that I wrote so I decided to write a new one, and yes I'm still going to finish the last one, but I will be focusing on this one for the majority of my time from now on.</p><p>I've worked really hard on this and really enjoy writing it. It started out as a self insert but Melana has certainly become her own character over time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Falling

I’ve always loved swimming, ever since I was a little girl. I guess its because my mom was a lifeguard when I was younger, so I was basically raised at a pool. I remember sitting behind the reception counter and playing with a giant box of tiny rubber ducks. But of course you only remember the happiest times, childhood was eternal summer. More to the point I love water, being in water, just entirely engulfed, light and warm and happy. 

So it was kind of a given that I’d be a lifeguard, mom was so proud, like she’d handed down the title or something? I don’t know, I did it for the money really. I needed to get out, to grow up. It paid good, and I could use the pool whenever I wanted for free. You can’t beat that. 

I hated leaving that job, the first one. But honestly what choice did I have? My own mother threw me out, I had to move half way across the country. Only then did I realize what kind of person she had been. Long story short not a good one. 

Bringing it all back around here, the reason I’ve rambled about being a lifeguard is because of the new position I had just gotten, living in Little Rock Arkansas had been hard being a chubby, bisexual, agnostic, democrat girl. But the new job was a much needed improvement. At the very least it made the goal of leaving Arkansas that much closer. Well, 8.50 an hour closer. 

It was leading into summer, just after I’d started at the pool, June 3rd and it was already hotter than I could bare. 97 fucking degrees outside, should have been illegal. I was wearing maybe three layers of sunscreen and two different kinds of bug repellent, sitting in the guard chair. It was almost closing time, only three or four people lingering around the small pool, mostly gathering their kids and packing up. It had been a normal, lazy day. Sold a little bit of ice cream, bought myself one when I couldn’t stand the heat. No one had drowned. I’d even had a break when no one had been there, quietly reading the lifeguard manual. It never hurts to be prepared of course.

By the time the last few people headed out and I had waved politely, my boss showed up. 

“Hey kid,” He called as I dismounted the chair. I never understood the insistence with calling me kid, he did it with everyone there, but why do it with me? Everyone else that worked there was 17 or under, he and I were the only two people over twenty. Or eighteen for that matter. 

I waved back, a little confused as to why he was there. I’d been closing fine all week, a sudden wave of anxiety washed over me, had I done something wrong? Did I not clean the bathrooms well enough yesterday?

I walked over to the staff room, ignoring the thundering fear in my chest as I opened the door. 

“I just needed to pick up the checks, meant to do it this morning but you know how it is,” He said, bent over the small safe in the corner. I sighed internally, rolling my eyes at how stupid my fear had been. 

“Cool, it was a pretty lazy day. Per the norm.” I replied, opening my locker and taking the ponytail out of my hair. The pool was small, much smaller than the one I worked at previously, but it was nice. Everyone was really polite and sometimes I got free ice cream. Plus it was two blocks from home. Convenient. 

I pulled my backpack out, the buttons clicking together in protest at how I bent it. I was always a sucker for unnecessary decorations like that, key chains and buttons. I tossed one strap over my shoulder and with my other hand grabbed my swim bag. I took it with me everyday, even if I didn’t get the chance to swim. It carried the basic essentials, a towel, body wash, shampoo, conditioner, an extra set of clothes, goggles… even a nose plug and a swim cap. 

“Think you can close up then? If you’re going to be here longer anyway, I already cleaned the bathrooms, swept the deck and took the evening chems.” I didn’t need him to close, I could do it, but a few extra minutes being home and napping before my aunt came home would be amazing. “I only had to cash out and lock up.” 

I pulled my lanyard out of my locker, multiple key chains dangling around only the two keys. I laced it around my neck before closing and locking my locker. 

“Sure kid, take and extra ice pop you’ve earned it.” he tossed me one of the blueberry popsicles and I caught it with ease, dropping it into my swim bag. We exchanged a few more pleasantries before I was walking around to the other side of the fence and unlocking my bike. Well not my bike, technically it was my aunts, but she loaned it to me so I didn’t have to walk all the time. 

I put my swim bag in the basket and put my backpack on all the way. I wasn’t even going to ride the bike home, it was the perfect light out to walk along the trail in the woods. Mostly I just used it to carry my extra luggage. 

I started walking, pushing the bike along next to me, quietly humming a non-descript song to myself. I hated Arkansas for a lot of reasons, the heat, humidity, the people… but I did enjoy how pretty it could get, even if all of the bugs on earth converged there everyday for the sole purpose of trying to eat my flesh. 

The walk was nice, safe to say, calm even. A jogger was coming in the opposite direction and I tried to clear some space, stepping to the right a bit. My bike bumped the edge of the path, swiveling in protest. I looked down to ensure it would stay straight just as the jogger rammed into the side of me, knocking me straight into the bike and down the steep hill. 

I tumbled for what felt like an hour, my legs tangling and bruising in the bike chains, trees snapping and rocks cutting my arms and torso until finally, with a thud, I hit solid ground. 

It took me a moment to react, my body aching, curling in on itself to cry and groan as blood began trickling from my newly made cuts. There was probably some sort of animal in my hair, and more than likely several bugs stuck to my legs, trying to suck away at my blood. My leg was stuck through the side of the bike, twisted a funny way but not broken as far as I could tell, my face planted firmly down against the mud soaked leaves. 

I pushed up onto my elbows, my head still spinning. The only sound was the still spinning tire, clicking loudly as my brain pounded against my skull. I very carefully pulled my leg out of the chains, I could feel the blood trickling down to my knee and soaking into my yoga pants. 

I hissed as I turned over, my leg down fully out of harms way I tried to examine it, but my vision was blurred, I must have hit my head too, I thought. 

I threw my backpack over my shoulder and dug around until I found the roll of ace bandages. I always kept them handy in case my knee went out, which it hadn’t done in years but who knows. I didn’t have any cloth to put under it, so instead I grabbed my spare tank top out of the swim bag, which by some kind of miracle had stayed in the basket. I wrapped it around the worst parts of my leg, I wouldn’t need stitches but it would take time to heel and I might be left with wicked scars, and then tightly wound the bandages over that. 

Other than my leg everything else was rather superficial. A few scrapes on my arms and a tear through my shirt, maybe a bump on the head. But no concussion. Damn, that meant I couldn’t really sue the jogger. Didn’t mean I wasn’t going to give that fucker a piece of my mind though. Finally satisfied with what you could kind of call first aid, I wobbled onto my feet, my leg was irritated that it had to hold me but once I had the bike up and was leaning on it, it seemed to calm down.

It looked like I had just fallen a few feet, the edge of the path just a short climb up. Surprising seeing how much my body ached, I thought I’d rolled at least ten times. Shrugging it off, I started climbing back up, it wasn’t even that steep, within a minute I was back on the path. Though I could have sworn it wasn’t this wide… Maybe I really did have a concussion. Feeling defeated and beyond tired, I continued walking home, my mind too busy thinking about how I was going to explain this to notice that the path kept getting wider, and the trees thinned out, until the path disappeared entirely and I wasn’t standing in a forest, but the entrance to small sort of village. 

It didn’t even register with me until the smell hit, at that I was recoiling, my head shaking from side to side to try and push the scent out of my nose. I looked up finally, to the strange buildings and people surrounding me. They were all scurrying about, dressed in armor and gowns, swords or bows strapped to them. My first instinct was that I’d stumbled onto a renaissance fair. A really good one if they go by smell. 

I walked further into the town, no one really seemed to pay any attention to me, all too busy dealing with what looked like wounded people. Maybe a LARPing renaissance fair? That’s pretty cool, I thought, passing a cart full of weapons. I got a dirty look from the merchant selling them but didn’t really think anything of it. 

I walked up to a woman who was leaning over a man on a cot, maybe praying something. I was more confused than anything else, and really just wanted someone to look at my leg. Maybe a first aid tent or something. 

“Excuse me?” I spoke softly, not wanting to spook her but clearly failed as she spun around with fear in her eyes and her hand flying to her hip to rest on a small dagger. That made me flinch back, I wouldn’t expect that kind of reaction from someone who was just playing a game. “I’m-I’m sorry I just uh, I fell back there and really messed up my leg, is there someone who could maybe look at it?” 

She looked from my face to my badly bandaged leg and then to my bicycle before looking back up at me. “Go sit down over there,” she nodded her head to a log where another man was sitting, his arm in a sling. “I’ll have a healer look at your… leg.” she finished. I nodded my thanks and hurried over to the log, leaning my bike next to me as close as possible. This would be a shit place to lose it.

I sat there for a little while, watching people walking around, a few horses passed through with someone leading them, but not riding. I saw a small group of women with elf ears and what looked like big walking sticks pass by me and it took a lot not to stare. I was extremely curios where they’d gotten such good fake ears, they matched their skin tones almost perfectly!

Eventually someone came over. A young woman dressed in white but covered in what I was hoping was fake blood. She didn’t look twice at me, telling me to take off the bandages so she could work. I listened, unwrapping the first layer and tucking it back in my bag, before I could grab the shirt, she peeled it off, torn flesh and blood sticking to it. She didn’t even blink. 

“Oh I really didn’t think it was that bad,” I laughed nervously, it was much deeper than I originally thought, it would definitely need stitches. Great, that meant hospital. “I guess I’ll need stitches.” 

She turned my leg over in her hand, examining it fully. “You get attacked by something with big teeth?” She asked, lowering herself all the way to the ground to get a better look. I shook my head, saying again that I’d only fell and caught my leg in my chains. 

She only hummed, sighed, and then put a hand above my leg. I wish she would have warned me about what she was going to do next, maybe then I wouldn’t have fully kicked her in the nose. 

When her hand started to glow a bright green, and the flesh on my leg started to sew itself back together, my only reaction was to scream, and kick my leg as hard as possible out of whatever the fuck she was doing. Which ended up with her on the ground a few feet away with a broken and bloodied nose. 

“What the fuck!?” I screamed, scrambling to get back, my leg aching in protest. The area grew very quiet as my curse rang out, the only other sound was the woman, her own string of curses matching mine. 

“You kicked me!” She yelled back, holding her nose.

“Yeah, well what were you doing to my leg?!” I replied, still trying to distance myself from her.

“You kicked me!” She repeated, lowering her hand to look at the palm full of blood. 

“Yes we established that I believe,” came another voice, a softer voice with a French accent. I looked up to see a new woman, bending over me. I almost kicked her too. 

She extended a hand to me speaking again, her voice was kind and tired, like she’d been dealing with this all day. “You must trust the mages to heal you my child, they’re magic is no more evil than a blade.” 

I could feel my brow pursing, my face recoiling in confusion, but I took her hand anyway and let her pull me back up. She escorted me over to a small cot off to the side, sitting me down and handing me a wooden cup filled with water. Warily, I drank it. It tasted rather musty, like it had been sitting out all day, but I didn’t want to be rude. Someone walked my bike over, clearly curious about it, twisting it around and leaning it at the end of the cot. 

“I’m- I am really sorry, about kicking that girl.” I started, eying the guy leaving my bike. “But she really did scare me, a little warning would have been nice.” 

The French woman nodded her head and I took the moment to actually look at her. She was older, maybe early fifties, wearing some kind of… nun outfit. African American, lots of smile lines and very tired looking eyes. I thought maybe… I knew her. She was familiar at the very least. I took another sip of the water.

Another woman, not the one I kicked in the face, came over. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to fix your leg now,” she spoke slowly, like I was disabled. I grimaced but nodded, watching in fear as she did what the last one did. She turned my leg around in her hands, checking the deepness of cuts before hovering her hands just above. 

Her hands started to glow and I flinched, but didn’t kick. It helped that the nun lady was holding my shoulders and watching with me. It was fascinating, after I’d calmed down, the way her fingers would twitch and the flesh would be pulled back into place. We sat there for a while, until the nun woman left and I was alone with the young witch.

After a while of awkward silence she started talking to me, witch just made me flinch again. I wasn’t sure if she could talk while using magic, but it seemed as though it wasn’t that taxing. 

“Where are you from?” She asked, not really looking up at me. She had an accent too, maybe English or Icelandic, something European. 

“Seattle,” I answered and she hummed, when she didn’t fully reply I added, “I just moved here though, but I didn’t know Arkansas had… renaissance fairs. Or magic.” I laughed at the last bit, watching her hands rotate around the back of my calf. 

“I’ve never heard of Arkansas. Or Seattle, are those in Nevarra?” She asked, glancing up at me. I recognized that name, though I wasn’t sure where I’d heard it. Why was everything oddly familiar but at the same time entirely alien? 

“Oh, uhm… no? They’re both in America, but isn’t this…” She lifted her hands away, apparently finished, and my voice faded out as she did. It scarred, not badly to badly though. The area where the flesh had been torn the most was still pink, but it looked like it had happened days ago, not minutes. She seemed satisfied with her work, and bored with me, so after giving it one more look over, she left. 

I watched her go, over to another injured person and start healing them right away. In fact the entire clearing seemed to be people on cots, groaning or… dying. Arms bent the wrong way, legs torn off, mutilations, arrows through chests. Bloody rags and bloodier people. 

With that I decided it was very much time to go. 

I jumped up, my leg feeling much better, I could probably ride the bike out of here just fine. I must have only been a few blocks from home. I grabbed my bike, turning it and walking over to where I’d come in through, a small set of stairs that I took a bit too quickly. I wanted to be anywhere but here, if I’d somehow stumbled into a weird, fairy land then I needed to leave, and not eat anything. That’s what I’d always read, people disappearing into fairy worlds and getting trapped by eating or drinking- shit. I totally drank something. 

I needed to get out before some crazy fairy woman trapped me. 

I stumbled down the road until I ran right into someone, dropping my bike and crashing into the ground. 

“Ha!” Someone laughed as I shook my head, blinking away the dizziness. “That’s what happens when you don’t watch where you’re going chuckles.” 

“Oh gosh, I’m really sorry, I just, I wasn’t paying attention.” I stuttered, trying and failing to gather my things back up. I had dropped my stuff one too many times today, that was clear. I tossed my things back into the swim bag, not really aware of the other person on the ground until my hand bumped into his while trying to grab my towel.

I cursed under my breath when I looked up and locked eyes with the person I’d ran into. 

I knew where I was. Because I knew that face, that outfit, those eyes.

“You’re not entirely at fault,” Solas sighed, looking away from me and instead picking up his staff. I was dead silent, biting down hard on my bottom lip. My eyes flicked across the elf in front of me. He looked a bit different than the last time I’d ‘seen’ him, he certainly looked younger than the game let on. I’d always imagined he looked about forty, but I’d say early to mid thirties. Though obviously he was much older than that. 

He stood up while I was still fumbling to find the English language again. “Here.” he said, offering me his hand. I didn’t take it, standing up quickly making him jerk back. I still hadn’t spoken, my face was probably blood red by the way they were looking at me. 

“Solas, you made her forget how to speak.” Varric chuckled, slapping Solas hard on the back. The dwarf stood next to him, a broad smile stretched across his face as I fumbled again to find words.

“No! I uhm, I just wasn’t expecting…” I gestured to Solas and Varric lost it, buckling over with laughter while Solas just scowled. Realizing that wasn’t exactly the right thing to say, I tried to back peddle. 

“Oh no! I mean I just wasn’t looking where I was going so I didn’t expect to run into-” I was cut off by a young human man throwing his arm around Solas and with his other hand gesture up and down his body. 

“Such a handsome, rugged man?” the man laughed as Solas shrugged him off. The man- whom I assume was the Herald, and Varric walked off, laughing still, leaving a scowling Solas and me. A very confused and flustered girl. 

“I apologize da’len,” Solas sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “my companions seem insistent on making a fool out of me.” meanwhile I had completely tuned him out, just staring at his features which were all hard edges and sharp lines. Say what you will about him but the man has bone structure and a mouth you could sit on. A mouth that was… speaking to me, shit. 

“Oh no, it’s fine I don’t mind the teasing.” I said, finally composed to a point. Solas was standing in front of me, Varric had just bellowed with laughter, I was pretty sure I was in Thedas. Or I had a really, really bad concussion. “I shouldn’t have been looking at the ground, it’s an old habit. Though some times it allows me to bump into ‘such handsome and rugged men’.” I used bunny quotes for the last part, and while he didn’t seem to understand the motion he did grasp the joke.

A small smile and a light chuckle were my reward. It took everything in me not to bounce up and down and giggle like a school girl.

“I should really be going Ser Solas,” I said with a short bow. I was pretty sure a bow was in order, he was in many ways, above me. “But I should hope to see you again.” 

He returned the bow, which was awkward on him, and more of just a head nod. “You should join the inquisition, they’re always looking for people. We could certainly use more elves,”

At that my brow was back to being furrowed. Partly because I had never heard Solas asking people to join the inquisition in game, but mostly because he called me and elf. I had noticed earlier he called me Da’len, which is elven for… little one? I think? But it hadn’t exactly registered. 

“I’m not an elf?” as I said it I brought my free hand up- the one not holding the bike in place- and touched the side of me head. Low and behold I was met by something pointed and curved towards the sky. “I am an elf.” I corrected.

Wow okay, dreams coming true faster than I thought they would, I’d always wanted to be an elf. I’d actually considered having the surgery to get pointed ears, but it was always too expensive. 

“Indeed,” Solas said, he was smirking with an eyebrow raised and honestly I thought I was going to scream. This wasn’t real, my life wasn’t like this and it most certainly didn’t have Solas smirking at me. 

That was the end of our interaction though, he pointed me in the direction of the inquisition camp and I thanked him. I watched him go for a while, watched him saunter off back to his group. I assumed they were there to talk to mother Giselle, meaning they were still extremely early in the timeline. 

I made my way up the hill to the camp, I could already hear the clanging of swords against shields, the small training yard filled with inquisition soldiers. My mind was racked with questions, how had I gotten here? Obviously by some kind of magic, and probably when I fell. Was this just an extremely lucid dream? I’d had them before and it certainly didn’t feel like that. 

Why was I an elf? Why would going to a different world change the shape of my ears? I was still my usual chubby self, nothing else had changed. Maybe it was by my own will? Probably best to go by that for now, but did that mean I was a mage? Was this shape shifting? 

I turned the corner, the camp in full view but still questions were flashing through my mind, what did this mean for the timeline, was I changing it just by being here? Could I… could I change what happens in trespassers? 

Could I change Solas?

 

I walked up to the requisitions officer, she was bent over the table, mumbling to herself as she wrote something down. The list on the table had a million different things on it and I physically winced, remembering how I had to run around and collect all of the different minerals and plants to fill these blasted things in game.

“Excuse me Serah?” I said, hoping beyond hope that ‘Sera’ was the right term, I barely understood how shit liked that worked on earth. “I was told by the inquis-” I stopped myself, realizing a bit late that it was still ‘The Herald of Andraste’ and not the Inquisitor. “The Herald to come up here and offer my services to the inquisition.” 

The officer looked me up and down, she was clearly very tired, and I was starting to think everyone here was. No one seemed to be… awake enough. 

“What skills can you offer then elf? You a mage?” She asked, her accent was thick and she clearly looked down on me for my race. Ouch, I thought, I completely forgot how they treated other races here.

“Oh uh,” I thought about that for a minute. What skills could I offer? I wasn’t a mage but I was beyond trained in first aid, so a healer at the very least. I even had a first aid kit in my bag with a few different drugs in it. Drugs I planned to use sparingly. But I could be a mage, I didn’t know. Maybe I had untapped magic I’d never known about. I’d love that. “I’m a healer, I know how to stitch wounds and… heal.”

Nice Madi, as close to truth you could get. 

“A healer huh?” She looked from me to the bicycle, which I was starting to think wasn’t the best thing to walk around with. “Alright, I’ve got a group leaving to Haven in a few days, you can travel back with them. Pays not that great, but you’ll have a roof over your head and food in your belly.”

I nodded as she talked, I didn’t think it would be so easy to get in. Actually I wasn’t sure I would get in. I didn’t really have any other skills than knowing how to make people not drown. And that didn’t seem like a thing that happened a lot here. 

“There’s a tent over there you can share with a few other knife-ears, try to stay away from the human men, they get… rough with your kind.” She reached under the table and pulled out a small dagger and put it in my hand. “If you don’t already have one.” 

“Oh- thank you, no I didn’t have one,” I held the knife in my hand, it was little more than a kitchen knife but it would do in a pinch I guess. “thanks, so I should just,” I pointed to the tent and she nodded. At that I was an agent of the inquisition. 

A healer no less. That was going to be fun to keep up. 

I walked over to the tent, my bike still at my side. At least it was a mountain bike and not a lazy bike like my last one. I could probably ride through all of this wilderness if need be. 

I propped it up on a tree and walked over to the tent and took the bag out of the front. The flap was open, and a few people were sitting inside playing with a thick deck of cards. 

One was a slender young girl with brown cropped hair and a scar dashed across her nose, a bow laying next to her. The man across from her looked like he could be her twin, but in place of a bow was a staff. They were both smiling at one another, not aware of me yet. 

The third person was another man, scowling and shirtless, his tan skin covered in scars and freckles, his long blonde hair tied in a ponytail behind his head.  
“You’re cheating,” the girl said. 

“You wound me sister, I would do no such thing.” Her brother replied, feigning insult. 

I scooted into the tent and all three of them flinched and looked up at me. When they saw my ears though, the calmed right down. 

“You new?” The girl asked, moving over to allow me to move in further. They were all barely wearing clothes, both men in nothing but pants and foot wrappings, with the girl in shorts and some kind of bra like wrap. 

“Yeah, I just joined, I’m-” It dawned on me that I could totally lie about my name, rename myself, start over. “I’m Melana, I’m a healer.”

“A mage?” The brother asked, his face lighting up. I imagined there weren’t too many people confident about the inquisition and their attitude towards mages. I wasn’t at the very least. 

“I don’t know,” I replied a little too honestly. They snickered at that, and I got a clear view of a few cards under the brother butt. I rolled my backpack off my shoulder and put it in front of me, its contents shaking around. I needed to take inventory if I was going to be stuck here.

“That’s kind of a thing you would’ve known already,” The middle guy said, followed by, “I’m Isannan, this is Tannis and Nira, we came from Radcliffe a few days ago. Thought this might be better than hiding with the mages.” he shrugged and leaned back on his palms. Isannan, I thought, I named an OC that once. I didn’t say that out loud though obviously. I matched faces to names, and they quickly went back to playing and ignoring me.

I pulled everything out of my bag on by one, first my journal and two of my favorite pens, quickly opening a page to write down everything that had happened and then to make a list of what I had.

My sketchbook, a few pencils, an eraser and three copic pens. That would be good for keeping up my art at least. 

Next my first aid kit that the pool gave me. The roll of ace bandages, a box of 20 count Band-Aids, twelve alcohol wipes, a CPR mask, a bottle of painkillers, my old inhaler, my nasal inhaler, and a bottle of allergy medication. At the very least those things could help me with minor wounds. 

After that was a few food snacks, a candy bar, granola bars, a zip lock bag of goldfish crackers, and a Tupperware with some left over chicken noodle soup. 

Lastly I pulled out my Ipad, speakers, headphones and I nearly cried. It was perfectly intact, and amazingly the solar charger I’d purchased was resting in the front pocket. I thanked the maker for my stupid work not have outlets, basically forcing me to buy the solar thing. 

I swiped the screen on, careful to avoid letting the device be seen by my new friends. It was fully charged, the time and date shining up at me. At the very least I had this, at the very least I would have my music and pictures to remember the life I was happily ready to leave behind. 

I tucked everything carefully back into my backpack before pulling out my swim bag. Now this was more of a grocery bag, one of those reusable ones, and if I could I wanted to move things into my actual bag. It was going to be tiresome to carry my swim bag around as well as my bike and backpack.

I pulled everything out, carefully tucking my bathing suit into my extra clothes, sans tank top. I pushed them into the bottom of my bag, then the soaps. Oh fuck yes I was going to having conditioner. For a little while at least. I very carefully put those in the biggest pocket in front of my sketchbook, making sure that all there containers were secure before rolling the towel up and putting that on top of them. The rest of the stuff, the swim cap and goggles, were tucked into a front pocket, with my green water bottle tucked into a side pocket.

I went to push the bag aside when I realized I’d forgotten something. The ice cream.

I reached in and pulled it out. Still cold. 

“What’s that?” Nira asked, their card game apparently over. Everyone was staring at me, the wrapped ice pop still in my hand. These people had probably never had something like this. 

I unwrapped it, the hot air making the ice steam. It was one of those double ones, you know, where there are two sticks and you break it in half to share? Half of me wanted to do not that, and just eat it all right there.

But I’m not evil, so I snapped it in half, handing it to the three of them. 

“It’s called ice cream. I forgot I had it actually. I got it from an Orlesian mage on the way here.” I lied. If anyone would have ice cream it would be the Orlesians, they were fancy like that. Nira took the stick in her hand, waiting to see what I would do, like she wasn’t sure how to eat it.

I licked the side, catching a drip before it reached my hand. “You can lick it or just bite it, but its cold.” 

We sat there for a little while, talking about ice cream, the inquisition and eventually about their back story, passing the popsicles around and reading the stupid jokes on them until our sides were split with laughter. They were good people, originally Dalish, but when Tannis had realized his power, they were going to kick him out. So Nira, his sister, and Isannan, his best friend, went with him. They ended up in Redcliffe because of the mage rebellion, but when it became clear that the inquisition was the better choice, they packed up and left. 

“With the Herald being a mage himself there’s no way they wont side with us.” Tannis said, one of the popsicle sticks sticking out of his mouth. “If he was an elf that would’ve been even better.” he added.

“Yeah, I guess it depends on his personality. I mean he could take the mages on but enslave them or something. Not that he would, just, speculation.” I sighed. I had no idea how the war would end up, if anything they knew better than me. I didn’t know anything about the current world state. Alistair could be king, Hawke could be a man, I didn’t know at all. 

“They’re staying in the camp with us, maybe we’ll get to meet the famed Herald.” Nira nodded outside, where it had turned dark and the fire had grown bigger. People were crowded around, eating whatever the cooks had put together. Probably soup or something. 

“I met them earlier actually, well, the Herald very briefly. I talked to one of his companions, Solas, the most.” I said, tucking my bag behind me. I pulled the hair tie off my wrist and pulled my hair up into a high ponytail, it was getting kind of hot. Which was good, I imagined Haven was going to be freezing. 

“I’ve heard of him, the apostate right?” Isannan asked and I nodded. “Heard he just walked into Haven like ‘here you go, take my staff’,” 

“He wanted to learn more about the rifts.” I added, “I hear the Seeker almost killed him.” I kicked off my tennis shoes and pulled off my socks, pushing them next to my bag. My leg ached where my new scar was, I’d have to try and be careful not to reopen that.

“We should go grab some dinner. You coming Melana?” Nira asked, standing up and stretching. I hadn’t really noticed how big the tent actually was, tall enough and wide enough for four people to stand comfortably, four mats on the ground with animal skin blankets and a small table at the back, with everyone’s individual packs sitting to the side of their beds. I nodded and stood, walking out after them.

I was surprised to see such a variety of people, humans and dwarves alike hanging out and drinking, eating and talking loudly. But we four were the only elves, other than someone who was tending to the horses. 

We walked as a group over to the fire, picking up wooden bowls and filling them with the ram soup that was bubbling over the flames. I didn’t take very much, unsure of the amount I was actually allowed, but the others seemed to fill their bowls to the very brim. We sat on a log angled closer to our tent. Everyone seemed to ignore us, but the air changed when a new group approached the fire.

The Herald.


	2. Adjusting

I hadn’t had a chance to really look at him before, but he was handsome, curly black hair and bright green eyes, broad shoulders and tall- very tall. He was smiling, and it was clear he was a happy kind of guy, his black stubble highlighting his cheekbones. I bet Cassandra had a crush on him, hell I might have a crush on him.

He made his way past a few people who shook his hand as he went, and the atmosphere seemed to change as he got his own bowl of soup and plopped down on a log, the one next to mine, and started eating.

Everyone went back to talking amongst themselves as Varric, Cass and Solas filled their bowls and took their place next to the Herald. I needed to learn his name at some point. Serah Herald would only work for so long.

I was positioned at the end of our log, next to Nira, so when Solas sat down next to Varric, and our arms bumped, it made for and interesting moment. At first I was positive he hadn’t noticed me, the way he just ate without really looking at me. But then he spoke and I knew I was mistaken.

“I see you took my advice,” He said, not looking up from his soup.

“Ah- yes, they were quite happy to have me. Everyone has been very kind.” I smiled, eyes glued to the bowl and spoon in my hand. I stirred the spoon a bit, wondering if ram tasted like lam, which I’d only ever had once and was very not good.

“I’m glad to hear it.” He said, finally looking towards me, the light of the fire made his sharp features even more so, I shot a glance down to his lips which I’m positive he noticed before turning back to my soup.

“We are going to be traveling back to Haven in a few days I hear, will you be accompanying us?” I asked, trying to get my mind off of the lips I’d once thought were ‘very sittable’ that were sitting right next to me. I finally brought a bite up to my mouth, to shut it up at the very least. I had to control myself to at least some degree. Though my mind was running with thoughts of ways to tell him that I knew who and what he was.

“I believe so, I’m sure the trip will be much more entertaining with your company, seeing as how Varric and Benjamin have taken to you.” He said, punctuating his sentence by taking a bite. I swallowed hard. I forgot how… smooth he was. Though I honestly couldn’t tell if he was trying to be smooth or if it was some kind of accident. I also took note that he called the Herald Benjamin, Ben. Huh. Serah Ben.

“They’ve taken to me?” I asked, turning my head slightly towards him. The campfire was thinning out now, people heading into their tents for the night, a few men wandered off, probably to keep watch or just… piss or something.

Solas nodded, lowering his bowl to his lap to face me. “They wouldn’t stop talking about ‘that cute, fumbling elf that smacked into Solas’.” I laughed out loud at that, then quickly swallowed it, that’s great, being known as that girl that knocked Solas over. Better than ‘that girl that broke a mages nose’.

“Well maybe I’ll smack into you again on the way to Haven, then they’ll have twice as much to talk about.” I was immediately glad I said that because Solas threw his head back in a loud laugh, almost startling me, but pretty soon I was giggling along with him. I didn’t know Solas could be this… laid back? I mean the banter in game suggested he was kind of snarky and kind, but this was nice. Like he was an actual person. Which apparently he was. Shocker.

“I’m sure if you simply walked near me they wouldn’t stop talking about it for days.” He said, his smile smaller but still very present.

“Well then I’ll have to walk near you.” I replied, I wasn’t going to finish my soup at this rate, my stomach was fluttering with every word I said. “Then they’ll never run out of material to tease you with.”

He coughed a laugh as he took a bite, his hand in a fist against his mouth. For a moment I thought I’d have to perform the Heimlich but he cough it the rest of the way out. It was beyond bizarre to see him of all people in this situation, a little dribble of soup on his chin, laughing at my shitty banter.

Before he could respond someone started singing, distracting the entire group of maybe twelve people that still lingered around the fire. It was a familiar song, one from the soundtrack which I had on my Ipad. One of the tavern songs. It started slow, but the picking of the guitar thing was loud enough to get us all looking up and over.

“I feel sun, through the ashes in the sky,” one of the girls started singing. Nira next to me started humming along, tapping her foot to the beat and I wondered momentarily what would happen if I introduced these people to my music. I wasn’t going to but it was a thought.

After a minute people we up and dancing, more songs got played, a lot that I didn’t know, one about the Hero of Fereldan that made me extremely happy. Nira and Isannan were dancing together when Tannis grabbed my hand and pulled me up with him, causing me to drop my bowl and spoon. The music was intoxicating, I was never one for dancing, but with Tannis pulling me along it wasn’t exactly hard.

We ended up dancing most of the evening away, though Solas simply watched from the sidelines, talking to Varric until he vanished into his own tent.

By the time the music stopped and everyone was thoroughly worn out, the requisition officer was shooing us all back into our tents. I stumbled back over to the log where I’d sat before and retrieved my bowl, which had been licked clean. Weird, I didn’t know there were dogs around here. But it was Fereldan. I picked it up, along with the spoon, and then hurried after my tent mates.

I was glad to have made fast friends, but I guess that’s what happens when you share other worldly snacks. We all stumbled back into our tent, tired and worn from a long day. I made sure to lock my bike up before heading in, not that I thought anyone would even know what to do with it if they stole it, but more of a mental safety thing.

I crawled into my bed which was more of a mat. I didn’t even take my bra off, lying flat on my back and staring at the ceiling. Isannan and Tannis were already snoring, but Nira who was laying next to me was on her side, smiling.

“I saw you and Serah Solas.” She whispered, scooting as close as she could without rolling off her mat.

“I told you we met each other today, he just wanted to say hi again.” I replied, keeping my voice low. There was some muffled shuffling from a few tents over and I could hear the sound of someone moving around outside, probably whomever was on the night watch.

“Oh yes of course, to say hello and then to offer to walk back to Haven with you.” Nira giggled and I pulled the blanket up over my face, though I doubted she could see my blush, even with our heightened vision.

“He didn’t offer it to me he was speaking jokingly,” I whispered back, pulling the blanket down just enough to speak. “Besides, he’s in the inner circle, he’s not interested in me in the slightest.”

Nira made a humming sound and I could see the smug smile on her face from there, I wanted to reach over and shake her. But instead I added foolishly, “He is quite handsome though.”

Which I regretted almost instantly at the girlish squeal that came from Nira. Apparently we were going to be talking about boys a lot from now on.

 

 

Morning came all too soon, though I was kind of disappointed I didn’t dream much, maybe my mind wasn’t in tune with the fade because I wasn’t from this world. Or it was still adjusting. I hoped that would work itself out soon, I was kind of hoping for weird fade journeys.

Nira woke me up some time after dawn, insisting that we go wash before the boys were up, and I was more than happy to. Sleeping on the ground didn’t do a lot for making you smell good. She and I went with another group of girls over to a nearby stream, which I had never seen in game. There were a few village girls there, all giggling and talking about the inquisition soldiers and which they thought were the cutest. Which of course got another smug look from Nira.

I knew I couldn’t be with Solas, but what was a little flirting. I wasn’t stupid enough to dig in too deep, but I was already attached. Oh well.

Lucky for me Nira had soap, which was a small bar that she shared with me. I noted that almost nothing else was different on my body other than the ears, which were sensitive I noticed, when I ran the soap over them. I didn’t have hair anywhere else, which was kind of a relief. But all the chub and rolls were still there, stretch marks and thick thighs. But it was like all my leg and pubic hair had fallen off.

We did laundry while we were down there too, scrubbing our small clothes and hanging them up to dry. Nira was extremely curious about mine, and when she asked I simply said they were from Orlais. I imagined I was going to lean on that a lot.

Cassandra came down after a little while, and she was… buff, to say the least. Watching her bathe was interesting, not that I was really watching, watching. But I could see her out of the corner of my eye, she had scars all over, even on her back. I wanted to ask her about some of the more interesting ones.

Nira and I sat on the bank with our feet in the water while we waited for our clothes to dry. She was slender, all long legs and a tight torso. Even her breasts were small and tight. It was kind of captivating. She had a few other scars, which she even told me about. One on her leg that she got from an arrow, another on her shoulder from when Tannis accidentally caught her on fire. Each one had a story and I was happy to listen.

An hour passed down by the river, and the girls had started to thin out. I was lying on my back, hair spread out under me in a wet mess of curls, enjoying the breeze. I loved listening to the water, I loved air drying. The wind over my bare skin was something I almost always craved.

“Clothes are stupid. We should just be naked all the time.” I sighed to Nira who was laying next to me. She barked a laugh, rolling over to face me.

“Yes but then we’d have to see dwarf cock all the time. Can you imagine?” She faked a gasp then returned to laughing. I turned over, resting on my stomach, my legs still resting comfortably in the water.

“Mm yes but then we’d get to see Solas naked whenever we wanted. And that would be a blessing.” I could barely contain my laughter through that, it was nice to act this way, Thedas wasn’t all blood and broken bones, sometimes there were peaceful times.

Cassandra came over at the sound of laughter, sitting down next to us. She was already dressed, I’d seen her collect her things, so I’d thought she’d gone back already. We all had to go soon, the boys needed to bathe as well. Probably more than us.

“Lady Cassandra, its nice to finally meet you.” I said, smiling brightly up at her. She looked down at me and nodded. Nira seemed to stiffen at her presence but I stayed quite relaxed. I knew Cassandra from the game, she was a normal girl just like the rest of us, though a little more… guarded.

“You are the healer Solas brought on, yes?” She asked, scanning the water line. We were the only three left, save a dwarf scout that was just finishing putting her boots on by the bank.

I rolled over and Cass very obviously averted her eyes. I knew she was easily embarrassed but I didn’t realize it went as far as not wanting to see other women naked.

“He recommended I join, yes.” Nira stood up next to me and started collecting her now dry clothes. “But I don’t think he knew I was a healer.” When I looked up again Nira already had her smalls on, I couldn’t imagine why she was dressing so quickly. It was kind of disconcerting. Then I realized it wasn’t Cassandra that had her dressing so quickly.

A group of men had appeared, they couldn’t exactly see us, but their voices made it quite obvious that they were close. I looked up at Nira with wide eyes and she tossed me my shirt.

“They shouldn’t be down here for another half hour,” Cassandra hissed, standing and walking over to the waters edge and then quickly turning back towards us. “And they certainly shouldn’t be naked already!”

I jumped up and practically dove for my clothes, my underwear still damp and bra only half dry but I didn’t care. I was not getting spotted naked by a bunch of men who had been very well known for raping young elf women. Even if Cass was right there.

By the time the men rounded the corner Nira, and Cassandra were already dressed and hiding behind a large bush while I was still fumbling to get my pants on next to them. We were all breathing heavily, Nira near shaking and clutching my arm. I looked at her with concern, had something happened to her in the past that made her fear human men this much? Or was it just bred into elves?

I turned to look out the bush and at the men. None of them I recognized, all very large and muscular human men. They were all laughing, talking about the village girls.

“And have you seen those new elf recruits?” One asked. “I heard that elf cunts taste sweeter than normal ones,”

“What the tubby one or the one with the tight little body?” Another replied. Nira’s grip on me tightened and I returned the squeeze.

“I like a girl with a bit of meat on her bones.” An older man chimed in. “There’s so much of them to hold on to, it like fucking two women at once!”

At that the group roared with laughter but that died quickly when Ben and Varric came around the corner. I had to look away at that, I was far too curious, but I would not peep on Varric of all people. Though I did want to know how much of him was covered in that chest hair, how far down did it go… Then I noticed Cassandra was looking as well.

So I was right, someone did have a crush on the Herald.

“Don’t stop on our account.” Varric said and I heard Ben laugh.

“Yes please keep talking about how the women of my race taste,” Solas’ voice was loud, cutting through the crowd and at that I was turning back around, Nira shaking my arm at this point, clearly smiling and giggling. Solas was standing a few feet behind Varric and Ben, and unfortunately was still wearing pants.

“We didn’t mean anything by it,” one man said. “It wont happen again Ser.”

“No it certainly wont.” Ben spoke sternly, and after that they all went about their business, I wanted to stay and peep more but Nira was going to strangle me if we stuck around any longer, and Cassandra had gotten a face full of Ben’s ass so she was good for the week.

The three of us snuck around the stream and back to the camp, bumping into Isannan and Tannis on their way down. Cassandra went up ahead and left the two of us to talk to them for a moment, we told them very briefly what happened and Tannis offered to burn them all alive but when we got to the part about Solas and Ben standing up for us he retracted his offer. After that they went down to bathe, stealing our soap.

Nira and I practically ran into our tent, breathing heavily and giggling about what just happened.

“I can’t believe Cassandra was looking too!” Nira laughed breathlessly. She was sitting behind and above me on the stool, pulling my hair back into an Orlesian style braid, which I assumed meant French braid when she offered but was actually a bit more complex.

“I know, she was so into it! I wonder if she was looking at the Herald or at Varric? Imagine THAT romance!” I replied, trying to keep my voice down while also giggling like a fool. The tents weren’t exactly thick walls, people could hear us if we were loud enough. My comment got a smack on the shoulder before she went back to work on my thick blonde hair.

“Too bad Serah Solas was still wearing pants.” She whispered and I shook with delight.

“His chest though, ugh, I didn’t expect him to actually have abs? I mean I guess as a mage he throws the staff around a lot and that thing holds weight, but he was just so… just well made I guess?” I contemplated as she tugged on my head again and put the hair tie in.

She hummed in agreement, adjusting the braid in certain spots. She pulled a few strands off to hang by my ears, making sure my bangs were swept to one side before announcing herself done.

“You have amazing hair, I wish mine was this light. And so thick! There’s so much to work with.” she sighed, holding the thick braid in her hand.

We finished getting ready, apparently she had some kind of lipstick that was like a paste that she applied, and offered me some but I politely declined. I was never much for lipstick, and if we were going to be working most of the day then there wasn’t exactly anyone to impress. The two of us walked out of the tent together just as Tannis and Isannan returned. We exchanged pleasantries, but the requisition officer called me over and I said goodbye.  
I walked over to the officer. Eager to start actually doing something.

“They need more healers down at the village, I’m sending you down for the day, there will be someone there to show you where to go. They’ll give you a change of clothes too, so you don’t get blood on your…” she looked me up and down. I probably looked like a weird boy with my yoga pants and brown sweater over a sports bra. I wasn’t even wearing my shoes. Why should I? As an elf I was certainly entitled to be shoeless. “Clothes,” she finally finished.

“I’ll do my best,” I replied and she nodded, going back to her muttering and looking at lists. I turned to start walking down just in time to see Solas, Ben and Varric walking back up from the stream. I wanted to thank them for standing up for us, but at the same time knew that it would be beyond stupid to admit I had been there. So I simply started walking past them. It was Ben who stopped me.

“Are you going down to Crossroads?” He asked. His hair was still damp, and at this distance I could see all of his little freckles. He was quite handsome, actually he looked almost like Hawke.

“Yes serah, they need more healers.” I answered flatly, before I even finished he was reaching into one of his pockets, pulling out a handful of sovereigns.

“The merchant with the cart there had a figurine I wanted, but I couldn’t purchase it at the time,” He said, dropping the money into my open palm. “If you wouldn’t mind, could you bring it back for me? We are going to Horse Master Dennet’s today and I wont be back until late tonight, but it would really mean the world.”

He was oddly honest, and trusting. What was to stop me from spending this money on something I wanted? The threat of the inquisition I guess.

“Of course ser, was it any figurine in particular?” I asked, tucking the money into my backpack. I don’t know why on earth he wanted a figurine, as far as I knew they didn’t do anything for you in game, just sort of made you money. But I guess you could give gifts in reality so oh well. I wouldn’t ask what it was for, that was entirely his business.

“It’s the only one he has, you’ll know it.” He said with a wink and then sent me on my way. That made me think it was something weird. Or just embarrassing. Maybe he collected them, and didn’t want to buy it in front of Cassandra. I shrugged it off and continued walking down the path.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its Friday so here is your weekly dose of my idiotic fumbling in Thedas! Thanks for the nice comments and kudos you guys, its really encouraging. I hope you guys liked this chapter, and I'll see you next week <3


	3. Healing

There were definitely more people at the village than was communicated in game, all lingering around doing pretty much nothing. I stopped by the merchant first, as it was on the way to the first aid area. I asked about the figurine and he pulled out a small statue of a horse. It was finely decorated, but when he tried to charge me more for it than what I was given I was slightly outraged.

“Excuse me? You want six sovereigns? It’s a wooden horse!” I scoffed. He tucked the horse back behind him, it was rather clear what was happening. I was an elf, and he didn’t sell to my kind. Maybe I didn’t want to be an elf. The cons were starting to outweigh the pros quite a bit. While I got to enjoy Solas paying attention to me, I also got charged more and was constantly at risk of rape. 

“Look, the Herald of Andraste sent me for it, I work for the inquisition. He told me it was three sovereigns, so if you’d rather he came down here and pushed for a lower price, which I’m sure I could arrange…” I didn’t even have to finish before he was wrapping the horse and handing it to me in exchange for the correct price. 

I held the figurine at my hip, resigning myself to carrying it around with me all day. I wouldn’t let it out of my sight until it was in the Heralds hands. For some reason this small task seemed important to me, like proving my worth to the inquisition. Yeah right, it was just a toy horse. 

I walked up the wooden stairs to the healing area which seemed to be even busier than the day before, more healers and even more injured people, some not even on beds or benches but just laying on the dirt ground. I tightened my grip on the figurine as I moved through the crowd, looking for the person in charge. No one had seemed to notice me yet which was almost a blessing. 

The woman that finally grabbed me was a young, angry looking girl that spoke with force and inspired fear in me. 

“You! Knife-ear!” She hissed, yanking on my arm until I was inside one of the tents where other women were changing. “You the healer the inquisition sent?” 

“Y-yes ma’am,” I stuttered, clutching the figurine to my chest. She didn’t say anything else, just pointed me to a gown, and thrust a small piece of paper at me. It was a list of my charges I guess. 

I got dressed in the corner, careful to cover up the horse with my old clothes. It was a simple red dress, probably to hide all the blood stains, there was even a head dress but I didn’t put it on. I wasn’t exactly a nun let alone even Andrastian. If anything I would think I’d believe in the elven gods. Mostly because I wanted to fuck one. 

I left my feet bare, not that anyone would notice seeing as how the dress was floor length, but it was a kind of comfort for me. The last thing I put on was a thick, leather apron. Like a butchers. That was disconcerting to say the least. 

I picked up my list and walked out of the tent and back into the mess of people. 

The list didn’t seem to have names but bed locations, with little notes about what was wrong with them. They seemed to be ordered from most to least fatal of wounds. I made my way to the first person, a dwarf who needed to lose his left arm, which sounded like a hoot and a half.

The man in question was writhing, tied to the bed and gasping for me to kill him, I almost thought to. His arm was bent backwards, laying limp off the side, and just the sight of it made me start to gag. 

As I approached he grew more restless, begging me to end it, just put an arrow through his heart, his head, he didn’t care. He wanted the pain over. I wasn’t going to let that happen. 

I reached into my apron pocket, where they had put all the little tools a non-mage healer needed, and pulled out a thick leather strap. I wrapped it around his arm, tighter than I probably should’ve, but I’d never done this before, never been trained for it. I saw them do it on The Walking Dead once to stop an infection, so hopefully I could do it without… hurting him too much. 

I waited a moment, allowing the blood to figure out that I didn’t want it in his arm, before grabbing the saw on his bedside table. Someone had kindly left it there for the poor soul who would have to do this. Unfortunately that poor soul was me. 

Sawing a mans arm off is something I will never forget, and cannot recommend doing to anyone. You think it will be over quickly while in fact it lasts… for a while. The dwarf screamed for a bit, but eventually lost consciousness from the pain, though his breathing stayed steady and his heart beat remained, I was checking every few seconds to make sure he was alive. 

It bled of course, because it’s a mans arm I’m chopping off so obviously there would be blood, but at least I was wearing that red dress. 

Breaking through the bone was hell, and I had to kind of just… pretend I wasn’t doing it, to get through it. But everything after that was easy. I finally cut through the last chunk and had a detached, dwarf arm, lying in my lap. And that’s when I vomited, rushing over to the side of the camp and spilling my guts, gaining a few pity filled glances from the other healers, before heading back to cauterize the wound. 

If I was a mage I imagine this would have been the easiest part, just light my hand on fire and press it into his nub. If I was a mage I’d have to figure it out later, because this needed to be dealt with now. 

I went over to the fire, grabbing a small, unused pot, and held it in the flames until it turned a shade of bright red. As quick as I could I ran the pot back over to the mans bed and slammed it against his arm, the flesh sizzling into place. 

That woke him up though and the sound he made was next to inhuman. 

When I finished, he was laying limp, but breathing, on the cot in front of me, no longer begging for his death, because I’d just bought him a few more years. 

I bandaged the wound up to his shoulder and examined him for anymore abrasions that I could help with. When I found none, I went to leave. But his still attached arm gripped on to the end of my dress, holding me in place.

“Wine,” he growled, before letting go. I smiled, remembering how much he’d yearned for death, but now was asking me for wine. I nodded, and made my way to a revisions tent. No one was really paying attention to anything that anyone else was doing, so I just swiped a bottle. 

I brought it back to the dwarf, who was sitting up and glaring at the sky. 

“Andraste’s tits, bless you girl.” He said, grabbing the bottle and chugging about half of it before coming back up for air. 

“I think you’ve earned it ser.” I replied with a chuckle. He rolled his eyes and I bowed, heading on my way to my next patient. 

It seemed whoever was in charge of the lists hated me, because I had nothing but hard tasks. No one needed a simple kiss on their head and to be sent on their way. Everyone needed stitches, splints, eye patches, or more limbs removed. The only thing I had to deal with that wasn’t fatal was a boy whose ankle was twisted and had mistaken it for broken. 

By the end of the day I was tired, starving, and covered in blood that wasn’t mine. I was back in the changing tent when one of the other healers spoke to me for the first time. 

“You’re the inquisition healer right?” She asked, she was short and stout, with freckles and wild orange hair that had been hidden by the headdress. I nodded, taking off the apron and hanging it up on one of the hooks.

“I heard they gave you the hardest stuff, the lead healer was angry with the inquisition for sending a non-mage,” I wasn’t entirely listening, my body aching in ways I didn’t know it could, I was going to ask Nira if they had hot baths, or massages. Because I needed both. “So they decided you’d get all the people that were better off dead. See how you’d handle it.”

“Well none of my charges died, so I think I handled it pretty damn well.” I sighed, letting the dress fall to the ground and digging for my clothes. She snorted next to me, sitting down to untie her own gown. 

“The other healers were saying the same thing, said they saw you bring a man back to life when he passed,” She gave me a sidelong glance, “Thought maybe you were a blood mage or something but you seem normal enough,”

I thought back on my day, I had preformed CPR on a man who suffered a head wound, a cracked but not broken skull. He’d died for a minute while I was sewing, but after a few chest compressions he came right back. I didn’t realized people in Thedas were unaware of CPR.

“What can I say? I’m amazing.” I scowled, my original clothes finally back on and the wooden horse tucked back under my arm. I’d been having anxiety about the damn thing all day, worried that someone would steal it or I’d forget where I put it. She went to respond but I was already leaving, I didn’t want anyone else to talk to me, I wanted to put the stupid horse by the stupid Herald’s bed and then get into my bed and not move for several hours at least.

I was half way out of the healer area when someone stopped me.

“You, girl.” came a gruff, exhausted voice. I turned around almost angrily but my gaze softened when I saw the dwarf from before, standing a few feet behind me with the now empty bottle of wine in his hand. 

“I’m glad to see you’re up, but you should probably rest longer.” I said and he only barked a laugh. 

“I wanted to… to thank you for what you did. When the Herald plucked me off the field and dragged me back here… well they told me I was going to die. Figured you were going to be the one to do it. Imagine my surprise when you start cutting into my arm.” He wiggled his shoulder nub in the air, walking towards me. 

“Well apparently they gave you to me because they thought you were a lost cause actually. Though I imagine that’s not a comfort.” I leaned from one foot to the other, “But you’re welcome. I wasn’t sure that I could do it.”

“Glad you did,” He replied almost instantly. “You know, you’re prettier than most elf girls.”

Okay at that I needed to leave, this drunk, armless dwarf was starting to hit on me. I laughed a little in response and he continued. 

“No I mean it, all the other ones I’ve seen are skin and bone, you’re the first… well bigger one I’ve seen.” He moved his hand in what I would describe was half an hourglass shape, “Your tits are the size of my head.” 

“I need to be returning to the inquisition camp ser,” I was laughing really hard for some reason, this was kind of…exactly what I needed after all of what I’d been through. He bowed and thanked me again, told me his name was Ervan and if I ever wanted to rough and tumbled with a crippled dwarf that he was the man to find.

A bit more… light hearted, I walked back up to camp. I thought about going down to the stream to wash off, but decided not to when I saw a group of men heading down there. 

The camp was crowded again, in fact it seemed even more so, new people must have joined up again. A good thing, seeing as most of the people that were there were leaving in two days. I asked the requisition officer which tent belonged to the Herald, and she pointed me to one that was only two away from mine. I thanked her and then rushed inside, carefully placed the horse on a night table, and rushed back out. No one was in there, but it still felt… wrong to be in there alone. 

With that burden finally unloaded I went and sat by the fire, as close as possible to the person making food. They were slow roasting a ram, which seemed to be the thing people ate around here, but fuck it if I wasn’t starving. I watched and waited, the cook talked to me a bit too, telling me the proper way to season a ram, how to get that dry taste out and instead have a juicy meal. I think he was hitting on me too. 

Nira and Tannis appeared a little while later, I was curled into a ball sitting by the fire, talking away with the cook, when Nira plopped down next to me and handed me something.

“What’s this?” I asked, turning the boxed package around in my hand, it didn’t make any sound, and she only responded by encouraging me to open it, so I did.

It was… well it was something. Four rolls of a sort of worn leather clothe, they could have been bandages if they weren’t so thick, I pulled one out and turned it around in my hands, testing the texture with my thumb. I looked to her in confusion and she rolled her eyes, stretching her legs out and wiggling her toes. Her legs… that were wrapped! Foot wrappings!

“Oh Nira!” I gasped, looking back down to the box filled with the elf equivalent of shoes. “This is amazing thank you!” 

“Oh hush its nothing, I saw you only had those terrible Tevinter shoes-” another lie I made up. “-And I wanted to get you these. Plus don’t thank me too much, they’re not even new.”

Tannis sat down on the other side of me and the three of us spent the next fifteen minutes putting on the wrappings, which they had to show me how to do. They were nice, comfortable at least, and Nira told me that you could get them enchanted, to keep you warm. I planned to do exactly that when we were back in Haven. 

“Oh you’ll love this,” I laughed, leaning back on my hands and stretching my legs out to look at the wraps proper. “Apparently the ‘lead healer’ was mad at the inquisition for sending a non-mage healer to help out, and so they gave me all the shit jobs.” 

Nira barked a laugh but Tannis looked like he got actually angry about it. 

“That’s horrible, why would they risk the lives of people just because they were upset, its petty.” Tannis mumbled. He was really a kind man, not a lot of those just lying around. 

“I agree, but lucky for those people I knew what I was doing. I even got hit on by one of the dwarves I saved.” I laughed just thinking about it, “he said I was prettier than most elf girls, probably because I’m short and fat, dwarves like them round.” I said it jokingly but to my surprise Nira jumped right in to defend me. Against me.

“You’re not fat! Or short, you’re the same height as me.” She huffed, “You may have more weight on your bones but you’re certainly not fat.”

We stayed like that for a little while, joking about our days, apparently Tannis and Nira had been sent to escort some refugees to the town, and had run into a bit of trouble on the way. Nothing they couldn’t handle, but they got some nice wolf pelts out of it that the requisitions officer snatched right up.

“Next time you take down a wolf bring me a tooth or something, I’d love to have one.” I said and Nira agreed, the very next wolf she took down she would remove all of its teeth and put them in a pretty bowl for me. That was excessive and I said as much, giving Tannis and I something to laugh about for a bit longer.

After a while Isannan found us, as far as I could tell he’d been guarding around the town all day, and apparently he’d even watched me for a moment. 

“You didn’t notice me though, you were too busy kissing that human guy.” He snorted, taking a swig from his water skin. I reached across Nira and smacked him.

“I wasn’t kissing him! I was resuscitating him, it’s a technique taught to healers to bring them back from the brink of death.” They weren’t listening to me of course, instead laughing to one another about my escapades, and then proceeding to tell Isannan about my illicit affair with a dwarf, which I couldn’t even defend myself against because they were laughing so hard, until suddenly they weren’t, and they were looking past me, and past the fire. 

I’ve never had a situation go from laughter and happiness to absolute horror in such a short span of time. I turned to see the Herald, and my gut reaction was happiness, because I’d worked so hard all day to get him his stupid fucking horse, but when I saw the limp body of Solas in his arms, I almost screamed.

I was up in seconds, running across the camp to do something; help or just... something, anything. I practically slammed into him, Ben’s face wrought with dread as I looked over Solas’ body. He wasn’t breathing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could have ended this on less of a cliff hanger but then I decided it would be so much more fun to make you wait! 
> 
> I'm horrible, I'm sorry <3 <3


	4. Helping

“Put him down! Now!” I screeched; there was probably someone better suited to this, but I didn’t care, I was here and I was doing it. Ben put him on the ground, laying him out like he was already dead. The world around me went silent, only the sound of the crackling fire to remind me where I was. 

I pressed my head to his chest, listening, hoping. Nothing. 

I tilted his head back, I’d done this before, thirty chest compression's to two breaths, no time to find my CPR mask, I needed to save him. He couldn’t die, he was… he was Fen’Harel; it shouldn’t be possible.

I pressed my mouth to his, plugging his nose and breathing out, then took my own breath, then once more. How long I’d wanted to kiss Solas and this was how it happened. Curse me, curse whatever gods there were for this.

I pushed my hands into the center of his chest, counting out loud to keep track. Ben was telling me what happened, I think he was crying, speaking quickly and stuttering every other word. A demon apparently, they were trying to clear the wolf den when the demon came for Ben, but Solas got in the way. Idiot, I thought on the thirtieth compression. 

I tilted his head back, took a deep breath, plugged his nose, and exhaled into him. With a sputtering cough Solas shook back to life, vomiting out the contents of his stomach in a pile next to him, one of his hands flying up to grip my arm.

I fell back onto my knees, taking a few deep breaths as the crowd that had formed around us cheered, smacking me on the back a few times. I was trying to bring myself back down from adrenaline land, my brain still high on the excitement. Solas still needed healing, if a gash across his chest and several lacerations to his leg were any indication. 

“Bring him into his tent,” I said softly, barely audible, but Tannis, who was at my side, heard me and nodded, picking him up and carrying him off. “I need uhm,” I spoke louder now, and the roar of the crowd died down to listen. “I need a clean needle and some thread, a bottle of wine, hot water and some bandages, please.”

I went to get up but my knees were shaking, Ben ducked under my arm to steady me. “Whoa now,” he said softly. “I got you.” 

Then to the crowd he shouted: “Get her whatever she needs! Now!” and they dispersed, all running in different directions to fetch me my things. Ben escorted me into the tent I recognized as his, apparently sharing it with Solas, who was already stripped and laying on the farthest bed. 

Tannis was standing by his side, tucking the clothes under the cot, “I took his things off, so you could… do your thing.” He said awkwardly, I nodded my thanks and he disappeared out of the tent. 

Ben let me go and I knelt on the ground next to Solas’ cot. He was breathing, certainly not steadily, but it was there. I couldn’t believe how close I got to losing him, how near to death he’d been. I’d ask Ben later when exactly Solas’ heart had stopped, if he knew. I had a moment before I’d have anything to work with, so I looked around the tent. 

Three beds, two to either side and one at the back, and actual beds for the Herald and his close friends apparently not the sleeping bags we got. They even got a pillow. I stole the one off of what I assumed was Varric’s bed and gingerly lifted Solas’ injured leg, tucking it under. It would get soaked with blood but there wasn’t much I could do for that. 

Barely a minute passed before someone was giving me everything I’d asked for and more, an extra bottle of wine and several health potions sat at my side when I started. Ben was leaning over me, watching as I worked, eventually I put him to good use, handing me things and soaking the bandages in the potions.

“Do you not know any healing spells?” I asked, more to make conversation and distract myself from the fact that I was disinfecting Solas’ side with wine. He hissed and groaned when I poured it, his hand flying up to grab at something, and I offered my hand. The alcohol would burn any infection out of it, so it wasn’t like I was doing it to waste wine but I got an odd look from Ben.

“No, Solas is the healer… not me.” Ben spoke softly, but in the silence of the tent I heard him like he was shouting. Everything other than Solas’ breath sounded like thunder to me.

“You should learn.” I said sternly and Ben seemed to shrink under my tone. I hadn’t meant it harshly, more of a fact. If you were going to be a mage and be in fire fights then the least you could do is know how to heal your fellow man if need be. 

I spent the next hour carefully sewing his chest back into place, with the help of the potions the wounds closed rather quickly, though the bigger things needed heavier attention. I had Ben wrap the soaked bandages around Solas’ calf, where the bulk of the damage to his leg was, and he listened rather well. He was good at taking orders to say the least. 

When I finished… and Solas’ breathing pattern returned to normal, I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. My shoulders finally relaxing for the first time. 

Varric had come in at some point, he was sitting on his bed, watching me try to breath. “You did good.” He said, and my chest warmed with praise. Part of me hoped he would give me some weird nickname soon, something that made me feel more a part of this world. 

“I did what anyone would do. Less if we’d had a proper healer around. Someone who could actually work the magic.” I sighed, turning to learn on Varric’s bed, my head falling back and eyes closing. 

“Hey, the dwarves have done pretty good at staying alive without magic for a pretty long time, I’d say you did what a mage could and more.” He said, punching my should lightly. I only hummed in response, not opening my eyes. I was so tired. The day had been too long, and if everyday in Thedas was going to be like this then I was going to die of stress before anything else got to me.

It was my stomach that prevented me from falling asleep on the floor. Though I decided I wasn’t leaving Solas’ side that night, that much was for sure. 

“I need food,” I said, mostly to myself, but Varric made a sound of agreement, and the two of us went back out, leaving Ben to watch Solas sleep. I found Nira, Tannis and Isannan all standing outside the tent, the minute I emerged they were all grabbing me and hugging me, congratulating me; drowning me in praise. Nira even teased me about the CPR, calling it kissing again. But I tuned it out. 

“Sorry guys I’m kind of starving.” I sighed and their response was instant, bringing me over to the fire and stuffing as much food in me as possible. I ate slowly, much to their disapproval, I was still processing what had happened. It didn’t really make sense to me, that Solas could die. Maybe he was still weak, from waking up… maybe… maybe he was just like us now. 

Once I finished eating I made my way back to the Herald’s tent. Ben seemed surprised to see me, but when I crouched back down on the floor and took Solas’ pulse, he didn’t complain.

“You can stay in here tonight.” He said, and it occurred to me that I probably did need his approval to do something like that. “I’m sure he would want that.” 

“Thank you Serah Herald.”

“Ben, call me Ben. I think we’re at that point.” He chuckled. He was sitting on his cot with his hands folded in front of him; kind eyes on me, flicking across my face. He was nice, too nice almost. A good inquisitor. 

“Thank you Ben… if you’re hungry there’s some ram cutlets left. I can watch him.” I reached over and grabbed the wine off the floor, bringing it over to my lips. I’d never been much for drinking, but it seemed it was going to become kind of my thing. “I’ll have this to keep me company.” 

He smiled sadly, then went out, leaving me, a bottle and an asleep Solas.

I took a drink, the warm wine bitter and spiced, my stomach welcoming the liquid. It heated me up from the inside out giving me a strange sort of comfort, but one I was happy to have. I leaned back against Varrics bed, Solas’ head only a few inches away from my own. I could see his chest, rising and falling in a steady rhythm. I took another drink. 

On impulse I brought a hand up and touched the side of his ear, causing his head to twitch. I ran my finger down the side of it, it was strange beyond reason that this slight difference was all that really separated us from humans. 

I fell asleep there, curled in on myself, with a hand resting next to Solas’ head and the other clinging to a bottle of wine with barely a dent out of it. 

 

If I dreamt that night I didn’t remember, which was starting to get irritating, at the very least I’d like to be allowed dreams, if not a connection to the fade. I’d talk to Solas about it when he was feeling better perhaps.

I woke up slowly, my body aching from sitting in the same position all night. I could hear Varric snoring heavily behind me, and see Ben laying face down with both arms hanging over either side of his cot. It apparently wasn’t meant for a man who liked to occupy the entire bed. 

I pulled my arm down from Solas’ side, sore and aching all over. Tannis was giving me a massage, I was too stiff to do anything today without it. The bottle had been removed from my hand and upon inspection had been placed on the night stand next to the horse. Which had been unwrapped.

I stretched my legs out, my joints popping in protest from my idiotic sleeping position. 

I even got a loud pop from my neck when I turned it to the side. 

I moved onto my knees to look at Solas, still breathing. I lifted off one of the bandages, the bleeding on his chest had completely stopped, I’d come back in later in the day to change them. Right now I needed a bath, with conditioner. My hair had been in that braid all day, and I still had a crusty layer of blood covering my hands and a lot of my face. I imagined I didn’t smell very good as well. 

With one last check of Solas’ vitals, I was sneaking out of the tent and into my own. Nira was already gone, and the sight I walked in on was certainly one to behold.

Tannis was… well he was on top of Isannan. And not in a playful way, or even a strangling him way. It was more of a… a sex way.

“Oh.” Was all I managed, before practically running back out of the tent. Yeah now I really needed a bath. I didn’t even want to process what I’d just seen, they’d acted completely normal around one another, I had no idea they were… canoodling. After an awkward minute of me standing outside of the tent, and some rather loud shuffling from inside it, Tannis told me to come back in.

Tannis sat next to Isannan, fully dressed. Though Isannan was still in nothing but his smalls, I’d spent the last two days with these guys, I’d seen them in nothing but a towel, and now even less. So it was barely weird to see Isannan almost naked. But the imagine of Tannis riding him was still very present, so it was safe to say I was flustered. 

“Don’t tell Nir.” Tannis begged, he repeated it a few times actually, bowing and pleading with me. 

“Why don’t you tell her? You’re her brother, she’d understand.” I sighed, grabbing my backpack. I’d only wanted my soap, why did I have to deal with this. “You know what I don’t care, I’ll keep your secret, but… come down to the river with me.”

They both stared wide eyed at me. 

“Look I need a bath, and I’m not going alone, Nira is already hunting and I… don’t want to get raped. I’m covered in blood just come with me.” It was my turn to plead apparently, though they didn’t need much convincing. 

“I don’t care if you see me naked really, its only fair since…” I shot them a teasing glance and Tannis punched my arm. Isannan finished putting pants on and it was… weird to see them interacting this way. They were more domestic. Little kisses and holding hands as we walked down to the secluded area. It made me kind of sad that they were constantly hiding this. 

The minute we were down at the water my mind was gone and I was stripping and diving in, I didn’t care about anything else except the comfort of the water around me, pushing away all of my aches and pains.

Tannis sat by the shore with my bag, but Isannan decided he wanted to bathe as well, stripping and joining me in the water. 

I’d never had a big aversion to nudity, I had brothers, I knew what a penis was. But Tannis wouldn’t get in, no matter how much we begged.

“Can you hand me the big white bottles in there? I need some serious scrub time.” I called from the water, and Tannis nodded back, unzipping the bag and digging around. Yeah that was stupid of me, I shouldn’t have given him free reign over my bag. Because the first thing he pulled out was my Ipad.

He turned it over in his hands, examining it, and I thought to run over before he broke it, but instead I just shouted. “That’s not a white bottle!” and he actually put it right back.

He pulled out the bottles and walked them over to me. 

“Thank you,” I smiled up and him and almost dragged him into the water with the soap, but instead just took it and started washing up. 

After getting the blood off, and scrubbing my hair and then Isannan’s when he asked, the three of us laid out in the sun on the shore and enjoyed the breeze. Apparently Isannan and Tannis had only just started being together, but had been flirty since childhood. They both feared what Nira would think though, as they’d all three been together since birth. 

We laid for a solid hour, talking about nothing at all really, and I actually managed to get a proper massage out of Tannis, who was quite good with his hands. Our fun was cut short though when a group of men came down and we had to sneak away. Tannis insisted he could protect me from the ruffians, his words exactly, but seeing as we were done anyway I thought it would be rather silly to stay and test that theory. 

With my clothes and body washed and dried, I got dressed and went to find the requisitions officer. But when she told me she didn’t have anything for me today I wasn’t entirely sure what to do with myself. 

“You did good yesterday, at the village and here. Ser Solas would surely be dead if not for you.” She said, handing me a small satchel. “For your troubles.” 

I held it in my hand, it was… heavy. And filled with what I assumed was money.

“Oh, thank you ma’am, but I really only did my job, I shouldn’t get extra just because of last night.” I said that but I was still tucking the money into my pocket. She smirked and turned towards me, putting down her clip board thing to properly address me.

“I mostly want you to have it because you need proper clothes, I see you got some foot wrap things,” she said motioning down to my feet which were indeed wrapped. “but if you’re going to be working for the inquisition then you need to look like a proper healer. Head down to the town and buy something to wear.” it wasn’t an order but it certainly felt like one the way she was saying it. 

I nodded and bowed, excusing myself to go check on Solas before I went shopping. 

I stepped inside the tent and realized I should really start knocking or something. All three men were sitting on the edges of their cots shirtless, and talking. They all looked up at me at once, three sets of eyes locked onto my face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who updated early? Me probably. 
> 
> You guys left such nice, encouraging (rage induced) comments on friday and I decided I would post this! 
> 
> There will still be an update friday, this one was a gift from me to you <3
> 
> Also! I've drawn Melana! A bit. Heres a link: http://masmkasm.tumblr.com/post/144424967287/its-me-from-my-self-insert-dai-fic-where-i-lie
> 
> If anyone else wants to draw her I will... offer bribes. hahaa


	5. Shopping

“I’m sorry!” I yelped and went to run but they all only laughed and waved me further inside. “I’m honestly, so sorry, I’ve done that twice today now, there’s no door to knock on so I just assume to walk right inside!”

“You’re fine Da’len, we were just talking.” Solas said as I approached them. “About you actually, I hear you were the one to save me. I owe you my life.”

“I’m sure if I hadn’t been there someone else would’ve.” I sighed, “I really just came to change your bandages.”

“Ah,” he said, sitting up straight to give me access to his chest. It was weird when he was asleep but… this took the cake. “Go right ahead.”

I got down on my knees in front of him, which is something else I found very awkward. I peeled off the bandages and put them to the side, pulling fresh ones out of from under the bed where I’d stashed them the night before, and starting to wrap them around.

“Solas you’ve scared the poor girl,” Varric laughed and I could practically feel Solas scowling.

“I have not,” He replied, “What have I done to frighten her?”

“Maybe she just likes you better when you’re unconscious, she was filled with a fire last night that’s certainly not here this morning.” Ben was teasing him, or me, or both of us. This was because I snapped at him for not knowing healing magic wasn’t it? Curse me and my loud mouth.

“That happens when you spend the night in the tent with three large men, you’re exhausted come morning.” Varric added and Solas tensed under my touch. I was a blushing mess, but I tried to keep focused on the task at hand. And not the smooth masterpiece of a chest that was under my hand- focus Madison, or Melana, dear god I needed to chill.

I tucked the last of the bandages on his chest under one another and then moved to his calf. Lucky for me that just meant removing the bandages, it didn’t need more. The potion had entirely healed it over night.

“I apologize for my friends behavior,” Solas sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Varric and Ben were both laughing hysterically. To be honest I really didn’t mind that much, I would’ve thought the banter was hilarious as well if I wasn’t the subject of it. “I never even got your name.”

Solas was looking down at me, and me up at him. My hair was still kind of everywhere, so I imagined I looked a right mess. But there was a color to his cheeks and a look in his eyes that said other wise.

“Melana,” I spoke softly, taking the last of the bandage off his leg and holding it in my lap.

“Melana,” Solas repeated. “If you ever need anything, please ask.”

“Actually.” I started, standing up, Varric and Ben both fell into laughter again, which I assumed was the norm with these two.

“You hear that Solas! She already wants something from you!” Ben laughed, actually slapping his knee. I don’t know why they found this so amusing, but oh well, at least they had something entertaining to watch. Solas scowled again at Ben before looking back to me.

“I’m having some trouble connecting to the fade, I’ve not a had a dream since I arrived here. I’ve always been a very active dreamer and I was hoping you would know how to help me… get back to that.” I could practically see the ‘Solas Greatly Approves’ appearing in the corner. Solas had this thing that he did with his face where his mouth wasn’t smiling, but his eyes were, he was kind of bad at hiding when he was pleased with someone.

“I would be glad to help you, perhaps tonight you could stay here again and I could attempt to connect with your sleeping mind?” He offered and I could hear Varric trying to contain his giggling fit.

“If you don’t mind having me.” I replied, tucking my hands behind my back.

Ben and Varric both stood up, making the tent rather crowded. “You know, we can’t have you sleeping on the floor again, that couldn’t have been good for you. I’ll stay with the recruits,” Ben said, patting me on the back.

“Yes and I’ll be here, writing everything down to try and use it in a story.” Varric added, a dark chuckle escaping his chest. Its not like we would be doing anything inappropriate, just sleeping. Though hopefully this would be an opportunity to talk to Solas intimately in the fade. About the things I knew. About him. And stuff.

“That’s kind of you Benjamin, and less kind of you Varric.” Solas was sighing again and I wondered if he did that a lot. I realized that I had an opening, an opening to tease and I took it, choosing my words very carefully.

“Perhaps Lady Cassandra has room in her tent? I’m sure she wouldn’t mind sharing the space with you Ser Herald.” I annunciated every word very carefully until Ben grew quiet and very red, with Varric smiling up at him and elbowing his side. I couldn’t see Solas but I heard a slight snicker in his direction.

“Now I’ve been ordered to buy some new clothes, so I’ll have to see you all later. Serah Herald, Master Tethras.” I bowed at them both as I made my way out, turning only once I’d reach the entrance to the tent to look at Solas, who was sat on his bed still, smirking at me.

I nodded my goodbye to him last, holding his gaze; “Solas.”

 

I’ll admit I was excited about shopping for new clothes, as much as I loved the freedom of my yoga pants and tank top, I had always been fascinated by Thedasian clothing. Not to the extent of some of course, I never actually attempted to replicate any of the outfits I’d seen in game. Though that didn’t stop me from coming up with some of my own. So when I went down to the town and walked up to the trading post I was kind of buzzing with anticipation.

The trading post was a small building where many people were running in and out of, they had a few displays up with clothes mostly for men or young children. So I actually had to go up to the woman behind the counter to ask if she had any clothes that would fit me. Which was embarrassing. I’d always hated having to ask if they had something a size or two larger.

But she didn’t even seem to react to my being more than a stick. She brought me into the back and showed me to a line of clothing that were all around my size.

“We don’t have any elf clothes though, only trousers and such.” She said, shooting a glance at my pointed ears sticking unceremoniously out of my tangled mop of hair. Ah you would notice the ears before the weight I guess.

“Oh that’s fine, I’m working with the inquisition so I don’t need to stand out too much, human attire will do fine.” I replied, running a hand over a row of dresses. She stayed back there with me, mostly to watch me I guess, elves were kind of known for being shifty.

I ended up getting a green tunic with tan slacks that tied around the knees, a leather belt, and a heavy white sweater to go over it. She did offer me one of their ‘elf’ hats, which was that weird cowl thing that covered your ears, but I declined. I did buy some more wraps, for my hands, and a side bag to hang from my belt. I needed something to carry medical supplies in after all.

All of that ended up being almost my entire pouch of money that I’d earned from saving Solas. I might joke later on to him that he bought me the outfit, but perhaps that would be in poor taste.

I may have been ripped off, I didn’t entirely understand the currency. I knew a sovereign was a lot, I think… I understood it better back when I played Dragon Age Origins. I was left with three copper coins. Which I happily tucked back into the pouch and tied that to my belt.

I walked out of the main trading post, content to be done shopping when I saw them, two small pink cakes sitting on a cart next to a short little Orlesian man.

“Pardon,” I said, in my best French accent. Two years of French class please don’t fail me now, I thought as I moved closer to the man, not looking away from the cakes.

“Combien pour les beaux gateaux?” If I’m right, I just asked how much for the beautiful cakes. If not I said something about bread. I always got bread and cake mixed up.

He scanned me, fully scanned me, like head to toe, examining everything I was wearing, until his eyes landed on my coin purse.

“Unfortunately for you… more than you can afford my dear.” he said in a thick accent. I was going to have to dive deep into my knowledge of the French- or Orlesian, language here, I hadn’t actually spoken it in a few years. Hopefully it wasn’t that rusty.

“S'il vous plaît monsieur, j'ai un peu.” I was a little irate that he kept speaking common when I was clearly trying to make this easier on him. I was being extremely polite and everything.

He sighed, looking me up and down once again and cocking a hip. If I was smarter I would’ve just grabbed the damn cakes and ran. He was probably about to reject me again when a gruff voice cut into our conversation.

“I’ll buy you the damn cake,”

I looked down and slightly to the right to see a dwarf with only one arm holding two sovereigns up to the Orlesian who took it greedily.

“Ervan!” I gasped, bending down to hug the dwarf. “Thanks you, my knowledge of Orlesian is horrible, I don’t know how long I could’ve kept doing that.”

He returned the hug with the arm he had before stepping back to look at me.

“You losing weight on me?” He asked with a grin. I barked a laugh and grabbed the two cakes down from the cart.

“No! I just bought cake for goodness sake, if anything I’m gaining weight.” I snickered, there wasn’t any real way for me to carry the cakes other than hold them on the small plate they apparently came with.

“Good,” he grunted, “Can’t be having another skinny beanstalk of an elf running around here.” So with my hands full of cake and the bag that I had carrying my old clothes, I started walking and he followed by my side.

“I didn’t think I’d be seeing you again,” I said thoughtfully, I wasn’t sure where he was going but for now he seemed content to walk alongside me. “Figured you’d be off somewhere, doing dwarf things.”

“Oh yeah, mining, drinking, finding a nice dwarf woman to stick it in.” He was rather blunt. “But I’m joining the inquisition, hear they got these big sexy elf girls that’ll chop your arm off and then leave ya with a nub.” really blunt.

I snorted, struggling to carry my cakes. No wonder he’s following me then, I thought as we made our way up the hill to the camp.

“Well I’ll have to help you find someone like that, she sounds amazing.” It was awkward to walk like this, holding the cakes and a conversation. Also the sweater I bought was very warm, insulated I guess. I got it for Haven, but wearing it up the walk to the camp was kind of stupid.

“So those cakes for you and your boyfriend?” Ervan asked and I near about dropped said cakes. I didn’t even know that they had that word. Boyfriend. Ugh.

“He’s a friend, who hurt himself yesterday.” I replied, turning around the corner and into the entrance of the camp. It was around noon, so there weren’t too many people, some out hunting or scouting. Apparently scouts were actually the ones who captured landmarks, and not the Herald. Wish it would’ve been like that in game.

“You fix him up too?” Ervan grunted, most everything out of his mouth seemed to be either a grunt or a growl. Or a laugh. Kind of a stereotypical dwarf really, even had the big brown beard with braids.

“I did.”

“He’s in love with you then.” I stopped at that, looking down at him with my brow high in disbelief.

“How would you know? Are you in love with me?” I would’ve crossed my arms over my chest or taken some other cocky stance if not for the cakes in my hand.

“I am.” His response was instant, like he had it fucking rehearsed, but it almost knocked me over. How could this person be in love with me? After what I did to him? I only shook my head and kept walking.

“I’ll wear you down,” he shouted as I walked past the requisition officer, she gave me a nod of approval, either at the outfit or just because she was finally warming up to me. I would find Ervan later, after he properly joined up and maybe I’d had some wine in me. Right now I had cake, and who loves frilly cakes more than our resident god elf.

I made a quick stop by my tent to take off the gigantic sweater that I was sweating right through. I had to fend off some dastardly elves who wanted to get their filthy mitts on my cake, but they weren’t much trouble. Now in just the tunic and slacks I marched out of my tent and stood outside Solas’.

Based on the last two times I went inside a tent unannounced, I decided I should actually… knock or something.

“Solas? May I come in?” I called, my voice a little too hopeful.

Some light shuffling, something falling on the ground, followed by, “Ah- yes.” and I was walking inside the tent.

The thing on the ground was apparently Solas. I rushed to help, putting the cake on Ben’s bed and diving to Solas’ side.

“What happened?” I asked, lifting him up. He was still shirtless, that seemed to be the norm for the day at least. I pushed him back up onto the bed, though I expected him to be upset or irritated at least, but he seemed to find it amusing.

“I was uhm, trying to stretch. You startled me and I slipped.” He breathed, now sitting firmly on the bed. I let go of him and gasped, covering my mouth with my hands.

“Oh damn I’m so sorry, I am awful at going into people tents a swear.” I hissed, lowering my hands to his chest to examine his wound, it hadn’t been opened at least, but he’d removed the bandages. He had been healing it himself.

“Honestly it would have been much worse if you’d simply entered of your own volition, at least this way you didn’t see the ah-position I was in.” He chuckled. I wanted to press on about that, exactly what position had he been in that seeing him on his ass on the ground was better?

A moment of silence passed with my hand on Solas’ chest and our faces rather close together before he spoke again.

“Was there something you wanted?” He cleared his throat and my hand snapped back.

“Yes!” I jumped to my feet and spun around, grabbing the cakes off the bed. I half expected them to be gone with my luck, but there they sat. I picked them up, the pinkest, frilliest cakes I’d seen, and turned to face Solas.

His reaction was instant, a light chuckle, and a small smile. I could’ve died right there.

“You brought me… cake?”

 

“It’s the least I could do, I know you… well I was hoping you would like them.” I said, sitting down on the ground in front of his bed and handing him the plate. I didn’t have silverware; I realized a little late, but he took it all the same.

“The least you… you are aware that I am the one that got injured and you are the one that saved my life, yes?” He asked, turning the plate around to look at all the sides of the cakes.

“What? Yes.” I said plainly, when that didn’t seem to be enough for him I huffed, “I just know you have a lot on your mind, and you’re injured. Also you’re helping me sleep tonight, which sounds… bad. But you are, and I wanted to thank you.”

I was rambling.

He made a sort of ‘huh’ noise, before placing the plate next to him, and leaning over behind his bed. He made some weird sounds, clanging some things together, I assumed his backpack was back there, because when he turned around he had a bottle of wine, another plate, and two forks.

“There are cups under the bed, if you could.” He said pointedly nodding his head to the bed. I was extremely curious where all of the wine was coming from, but it looked like the bottle from the night before, so maybe there. I bent down and reached under, sure enough there were two wooden goblets just waiting for me.

I pulled them out and held them for him as he poured the wine, then we traded, I gave him a cup and he gave me the bottle to set on the ground. He very carefully lifted one of the cakes onto the extra plate, and handed me the original, once I had it securely in hand, he popped his thumb into his mouth, sucking off excess frosting.

I watched with wide eyes, blinking a few times as he licked the side of his thumb.

I looked quickly away when he handed me a fork.

“I didn’t think this would be a whole event.” I breathed a small chuckle and he returned it with his own.

“Yes well, I hate to eat alone. And Orlesian cake can be very dry.”

  
We both sat there for another beat of wonderful silence before I picked up my fork. I don’t think I’d had breakfast again that morning, which was something I really needed to start being consistent about, because the minute I had the bite of cake in my mouth, my stomach was growling for more.

It was very, very, VERY sweet. Almost too sweet in my opinion, though I didn’t say anything of the sort, just watched as Solas cut off a bit and bring it up to his mouth.

He closed his eyes as he chewed which was… captivating. Why did I keep watching him eat? I didn’t have a weird food fetish. It seemed the only way I could grow closer to the man was when he was eating. I took a sip of wine, still not looking away from him. He was right about one thing; the cake was very dry.

Or maybe that was just my mouth.

We ate mostly in silence, save a few small pleasantries about how good it was, he did comment on the sweetness but it was more in praise than anything else.

By the time the cake was gone, I’d had two glasses of wine and was now on his bed, instead of on the floor. We were sitting on opposite ends, his feet next to my rear and mine next to his. The bottle was in between us, and he was refilling my cup when Varric walked in.

“Ah! Varric, settle something for me.” I said, waving him in. He seemed completely shocked by everything that was happening, a woman in Solas’ bed? The gall! He already had a notebook out and was taking notes.

“Could a mage use magic to fly? Just- just in speculation.” The argument wasn’t exactly an argument, I just loved listening to Solas talk about it, and seeing him puffed up about it was beyond entertaining. Solas opened his mouth to jump in but I quickly added, “Without blood magic!” and he closed his mouth.

“Well I’m no expert,” He nodded towards Solas, moving further into the tent. “But… no?”

“Augh Dammit! Varric you have to be on my side about this!” I threw my arms up in the air, my now full cup sloshing in protest. Solas made a sound of triumph but I wasn’t ready to lose.

“But, okay, levitation is entirely a thing mages can do, why not do it to themselves?”

“Levitation is entirely separate to flying,” Solas replied, bringing his cup to his lips. Varric took off his coat and reached under his bed, pulling out a cup. I grabbed the wine and tipped it into his cup.

“Levitation, teleportation, necromancy… so many different schools of magic and yet flying isn’t one of them? Okay wait,” I held my hand out while I took a few chugs of wine. “Okay, trans… trans… fuck Solas,”

Varric laughed loudly and reached over, taking the cup from my hand. “I think you’re done there dewdrop.” I almost gasped when he said it. Dewdrop! Such a cute nickname! I pouted a bit when he took the cup, but it was for show.

“Transformation? Transmogrification?” Solas supplied, “I suppose that a good mage could… turn themselves into a bird and fly. But that’s not flying in the sense of in their own body.”

“It still counts.” I said, I was still kind of stuck on dewdrop. Where had that come from? Dewdrop. I thought maybe some thing more angled at my hair or job. He called Anders Blondie for fucks sake, and here I was with the blondest hair in all of Thedas.

“Dare I ask how you two got to this point?” Varric asked, sitting down on his bed and pouring my wine into Solas’ half empty cup. We were running out of wine.

“She brought me cake.” Solas said, nodding his thanks for the wine.

“Cake? So that’s how you get old elf men into bed. Through their sweet tooth.” Varric said jokingly, yet he still wrote something down.

Solas didn’t argue the old part, or the getting him into bed. I was technically in his bed, just… on the opposite side of it.

“Yes next time I will bring chocolate or pie, or chocolate pie! Maybe I’ll get a foot rub.” I wiggled my toes as if to indicate that I would like one now but he only rolled his eyes, returning to nursing his wine.

Varric laughed at that. “A foot rub? Dewdrop you’re supplying me with so much material, keep talking.”

With Varric there the time went faster, the three of us joking and talking, they drank more but I was apparently cut off. Someone brought us dinner at one point, which I found amusing, they didn’t have to get their own dinner? What about lunch and breakfast? How pampered were these idiots…

Dinner was pretty much the same as every other night, though there was a pile of what I assumed was lettuce and carrots on the side, and the ram was cut much finer and served with a sauce. I was surprised that they brought me the same thing, maybe they assumed that Ben would be in the tent and not me. Ben was probably eating a bowl of ram guts instead of this steak, poor guy. Go me though.

We ate with light conversation, mostly about what Varric had done that day with the rest of the group, sans Solas of course. They escorted horses to the refugees after recruiting horse master Dennet, and told his wife of the wolves. Solas spent the day in bed, generally healing his wounds. He walked down to the river for a time but there was a group of kids there being loud so he’s left, he’d just started stretching when I’d come by apparently.

“And how about you dewdrop? What did you do today?” Varric asked, setting his fork on his cleaned plate and putting it to the side. I hummed, still chewing a bite of ram. “Other than sit and harass chuckles here.” he added and I hummed a defensive tone.

“Actually she’s been rather entertaining, its not often I get to enjoy the conversation of someone so curious and kind.” Solas said and I swallowed, hard. He was complimenting me, of all things, after I’d argued with him for half an hour about the likeliness that griffons were still alive. Which I didn’t even believe.

“I uhm,” I started, clearing my throat. “I took a bath this morning-”

“Already doing better than me.” Varric laughed into his cup.

I let out a small laugh before continuing. “I took a bath,” I repeated. “And then I went to the requisitions officer to see if there was anything to do. Instead she gave me a big sack of money for not letting Solas die, and then basically ordered me to go buy new clothes.”

“What? I save Solas all the time and I never make any money from it.” Varric said aghast. Solas did that beautiful little laugh he always does; before taking another sip and then nodded for me to continue talking.

“So I went and bought this lovely piece, and then I ran into Ervan, the dwarf whose arm I cut off the other day- surgically not out of rage or something. And he was actually the one who bought the cakes, the Orlesian ass who was selling them wouldn’t sell them to me. Even though my Orlesian was amazing.” I sat up slightly as I spoke, trying to enunciate my words, I wasn’t drunk anymore, but I tended to fuck up speaking if I talked too fast.

“Ah,” Solas sat up as well, the two of us leaning together. “Vous parlez orlesian bien alors?” His accent was actually quite nice, and I wasn’t surprised to hear him speaking it, he was probably fluent in every language in Thedas. I put my hand to my chest and smiled.

“Pourquoi oui je fais, mais seulement un peu.” I replied and he smirked back. “Though most of what I know are probably the bad words… I wouldn’t be much help in Orlais.”

“Well I don’t speak a word of it, but you sounded beautiful speaking it.” Varric said, lifting his glass and then tossing the last of the wine back. Solas and I stayed like that, sitting up so we were closer to one another’s faces, it was nice, I could also read his expressions much better from here.

“My new friend, Ervan, told me he was joining the inquisition.” I said, “Apparently I inspired him to.”

“Not unbelievable.” Varric was pushing his plate onto the one side table, his cup next to it. Solas mimicked him, though I noticed most of his salad was still there. Cheeky old man, I thought, you need to eat your greens.

“Yes apparently he’s in love with me,” I laughed, leaning back and putting a hand over my face. “He said I was a… oh how did he put it? A ‘big, sexy, elf girl’?”

Solas sputtered at that, his hand rushing to cover his mouth.

“What was that Serah Solas?” I teased, poking him lightly with my foot, he held his hands up in defense.

“He put it… quite eloquently.”

“Yeah,” Varric agreed, “I’ve got to write that down.”

“Yes instead of sexy use a better word though, sexy sounds so vulgar.” I said with a shudder. I was getting cold, even with Solas’ legs brushing against mine there was a chill that I couldn’t escape. It was late, and Varric had actually laid down. I should move to Ben’s bed at some point, I thought.

“Alluring.” Solas supplied, and my eyes snapped up, locking with his. “Ravishing.”

“Bewitching,” I offered. “stunning.”

He raised an eyebrow and suddenly it was a game. How many synonyms for sexy did I know? I used to read the dictionary for fun, I would win.

“Exquisite.” Solas countered. A good one. He crossed his legs at the ankles, bringing his hands up and folding them on his lap. Still his eyes held mine.

“Gorgeous.” It was a simple one, but would occupy space, I wanted to win this little game. I could see Varric out of the corner of my eye writing them down, maybe he would take score as well.

“Magnificent.” Solas moved one hand from his lap to rest on the other side of my leg, causing my eyes to wander down. What on earth was he doing?

“Handsome,” I said, looking from his hand back to his face.

“Extravagant.” Solas countered.

I paused for a moment, thinking, racking my brain, I needed something, anything that would trump anything he could throw at me.

“At a loss for words?” He chuckled. Then he started being an ass, “Beautiful, radiant, divine,” the motherfucker was listing, still staring dead at me. I knew Varric was loving this.

I did the only thing I could think of to win, to get him to shut up. He was still listing words when I sat up, brought one of my knees up to rest against his chest and whispered almost violently: “Ar tu ma garas.” _I will make you come_.

His mouth slammed shut. Luckily for me Varric doesn’t speak Elven; though he did write that down, he didn’t have any idea what that meant.

Solas’ jaw tightened then relaxed before he cocked an eyebrow, leaned closer to me and said, with a straight face, “Dirth ma isala emma’in ma.” _Tell me you need me inside you._

He won. I threw my hands up in the air, I was sure I was at least twenty degrees hotter, and needed to be not that close to Solas.

“You win.” I sighed, leaning back as far as possible.

“You cheated.” he replied.

“That was amazing.” Varric added, we both looked at him, he was laying like a school girl, on his stomach with his feet up in the air behind him. “Tell me what you said.”

“No.” Solas and I both snapped. Well at least neither of us were going to admit the… dirty things we just said to one another. It was just a game, I repeated in my head a few times. I wouldn’t have even known those things if I didn’t like to send dirty elven to my friends who didn’t understand it. My understanding of the elf language was even worse than the Orlesian one… but I knew some naughty things.

I wondered briefly if the only reason he was so comfortable was because of the half a bottle of wine that was inside him, though I doubted it would take that little to get him drunk. He and Varric talked for a while after that, but I didn’t engage, simply watching and smiling, laughing on occasion when one of them would say something amusing.

It was mostly Varric trying to get the common version of what we’d said out of him, but Solas wouldn’t budge. Eventually I got up and moved to Ben's bed, allowing Solas to spread out and lay down on his own cot.

“So I just go to sleep?” I asked after a few minutes of the two of them being quiet. Solas rolled over to look at me, Varric was still awake, writing quietly, maybe trying to translate what we said with any elven that he knew. But the tent was dark, only a small bit of light coming from the outside shining on Varric and casting shadows around the whole enclosure.

“Yes, don’t over think it.” Solas replied, rolling back over and going straight to sleep. I almost thought it was rude, but after a few minutes of counting sheep, I was drifting off as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay Friday update! It's been a long week and this is mostly a filler chapter, not too much meat in it, BUT we finally have thedasian clothing! Yaaay. 
> 
> This chapter was originally MUCH smaller, but I decided since the chapter after it was meant to be even shorter, that I would push them together. If you're wondering where I learned dirty elven..... Geeky-Jez on tumblr is entirely to blame. 
> 
> http://geeky-jez.tumblr.com/post/106381642243/elvish-smut
> 
> Orlesian Translations:
> 
> (Talking to the vendor)  
> Combien pour les beaux gateaux: How much for the beautiful cakes?
> 
> S'il vous plaît monsieur, j'ai un peu: Please sir, I have a little
> 
>  
> 
> (Talking to Solas)  
> Vous parlez orlesian bien alors: You speak good orlesian?
> 
> Pourquoi oui je fais, mais seulement un peu: Why yes I do, But only a little.


	6. Dreaming

Entering the fade for the first time was… weird. It was like someone was trying to pull me through jelly, I couldn’t quite get there, but I knew it was around me. When I finally broke through it was like I’d swam to the surface of the water after drowning, finally taking that first breath. But of course thinking that actually put me in water.

I was treading in what I assumed was a large river, the ground just out of my reach. My head bobbed under water, I didn’t need to breath, but it felt so real that the panic of drowning was hard to ignore. I swam to shore, still struggling to stay above water, like something was dragging me down.

When I could finally touch and feel the ground beneath me, the weight seemed to grow heavier and pull me out into the water. I started to struggle, flailing for air, desperate to force my head above the waves. I was certain I was about to be dragged out to sea when something grabbed me, and yanked me onto shore.

I coughed what felt like the entire ocean out of my lungs, when I finally turned to look back I saw what it was that was holding me so tightly. A demon, or at least, what a demon looks like when you’ve masked it by the fade. Luckily for me it looked sort of like a mermaid, but the angry, drowning kind. Not the singing, talking to crabs kind.

The panicked part of my brain started kicking and wiggling, trying to get away from the deformed creature trying to drag me back into the ocean. There was a hand on my shoulder and I half expected it to be another demon, but when I looked up it was Solas, stepping past me and towards the demon, slamming his staff end on the ground in front of it.

“Be gone Demon!” He yelled and the thing actually listened, slithering back into the water. My legs now free, I pulled them back against my chest, as far away from the bank as I could.

“W-was that a fear demon?” I asked as Solas offered me his hand. I took it, using his weight to anchor myself.

“A nightmare demon I believe, it seemed to be clinging to you rather tightly, have you been having bad dreams?” He asked when I was standing firmly, though my hands and legs still shook.

“No, I haven’t been dreaming at all.” I replied, the sound of the water slowly turned from fear inducing to calming, turning from rough to a calm washing sound.

“Good, you have control of your dream at the very least.” He sighed. I stepped away from him, the feeling of the stones under my feet a comfort, like I’d felt it before. “Do you know where we are?” He took a few steps forward, and the scenery seemed to follow him. Of course it did, the damn fade master over there.

The wind whipped and pulled at my skin and hair, tossing it up and tangling it to its liking, it seemed longer in the fade, like the length I’d always wanted to achieve. There were gulls on the horizon, and eagles dancing above us, though the sky seemed more green than blue. The beach was small in girth, but long, going on for miles, and there wasn’t any sand, just rocks and clay as far as the eye could see.

There were larger rocks in the water, and memories of children jumping off of them into the water below seemed to echo around them. Yes, I knew where we were.

_“This one is your rock, and that one is mine.”_

_“But that’s the hardest one to get on!”_

_“That’s why its mine, and yours is the one that’s so far out, but the funnest to be on.”_

“This is my beach.” I sighed, walking alongside with Solas. “You see those three rocks?” I pointed along the shoreline, just past it there were three rocks all different in size, one was massive, the size of a small house, the other two only the size of a car. Solas nodded and followed along with me, walking closest to the water, it felt almost as though he was shielding me from my fears.

“My sister and I used to play on those as girls, once my cousins were older they would join us, but for a long time that was our own little world.” I laced my arm in Solas’, leaning into him, he didn’t seem to mind. “We used to come here all the time, playing in the forest and the water.”

We walked to a large chunk of drift wood, a twisting mess of thick roots that were jutting towards the sky, I ran onto it, climbing as high as I could and looking down at Solas.

“And what was this to you?” He chuckled, stepping up onto it.

“Our pirate ship. I was always the captain, because I was the oldest, well the tallest, technically my sister was older.” I spun around one of the roots before leaning against it. She was my step sister, two weeks older than me, but we were always considered to be twins.

“Ah your pirate ship, do I need permission to come aboard?” He was liking this way too much, and I was getting a little too comfortable as well, the way we were acting was like we were children. Part of me yearned for it to stay like that.

“Yes, and you don’t have it so I suggest taking a few steps back land lover,” I barked, grabbing a stick and waving it in his direction, he put his hands up and took a step back but his foot slipped and he went to fall, I dove and grabbed his hand, holding him in place.

“I guess I could grant you permission.” I sighed, pulling him up.

“I should’ve let that demon eat you.” He laughed, stepping past me and jumping down off of the driftwood. He offered me his hand again and I took it, using him once again to jump down. We walked a little further, until we came to one of my favorite parts of the beach: the tire swing.

“What is that?” He asked as I stepped onto it and kicked myself off. Tire swings were always difficult, if you held onto the rope then you’d either be stuck straight up, or bending backwards. I decided to bend backwards.

“A swing,” was my evasive response. I was looking at him upside down, but I could still tell he was doing that thing where he smiles with his eyes and not the rest of his face. He was enjoying this almost as much as me.

“Yes I gathered that.”

“Then why aren’t you pushing me?”

He laughed again and the urge to kiss him bubbled up inside of me, knowing quite well that the fade reflects not only your memories but your emotions, I pushed it down. Solas and I were friends, hopefully good friends over time, I wasn’t ready to ruin that. Which I would. I always did.

He stepped closer and gave me a light shove, sending me spinning. “You seem more comfortable here,” He said as I came spinning back towards him, he had to jump back to avoid me, but still pushed my waist, sending me flying forward.

“So do you,” I replied, we weren’t really having an adult conversation, this wasn’t when I wanted to be a grownup, I’d spent the last two days being a grown up, right now I wanted to be a little girl on a swing, with a cute boy pushing me on said swing.

“What in the world are you thinking about?” Solas asked and I realized that I’d stopped swinging and he was holding me in place, the smile in his eyes had spread and given him a devilish smirk. The reason he asked was that he wasn’t Solas anymore as I knew him. He was a boy, a young, tiny boy with long brown hair pulled back in a ponytail, wearing a tunic and foot wrappings.

I looked down and saw that I was no longer a woman, but a small girl in a white dress, my bleach blond hair pulled into a braid that hung at my waist.

“I was thinking I wanted to be a little girl.” I squeaked out.

“And you had to drag me into that fantasy?” Solas’ prepubescent voice was amazing, and he slapped a hand over his mouth the minute he’d spoken, his smile turning to a scowl in an instant.

I got giddy, jumping down from the swing and bouncing up and down, my dress bouncing with me. “This is amazing!” I squealed.

“For you!” He screeched back.

“Oh Solas shush!” I grabbed his hand and dragged him along until the rocks melted away to sand and mud, the sea grass reaching up and tickling my legs. We spent hours running on the beach, building sand castles and playing pirates on the ship. He even made first mate after he stopped being a sour puss about being a kid again, though I'm sure he could have turned back at any time if he wanted. He was the dream walker here, not me. We built a fort of our own out of sticks and mud and I was the fairy queen and he was the wolf that wanted to eat all the fairies in the land; we had a great war staring the two of us and two long sticks.

The sun started to set and the water drew out behind our sword fight. I clashed my stick against his but he was better, stepping forward and tripping me, sending me tumbling and giggling to the ground.

He tossed his stick and sat down next to me.

“I won.” He teased, poking me in the side. “I get to eat all the fairies now.”

“Ah well we’re very delicious, or so I’m told.” I swatted his hand away, but my giggling remained ever present.

“When the sun sets we’ll wake up,” He sighed, stretching his legs out. I wasn’t looking at the sun, I was looking at the sky, there were still eagles, dancing around my vision, I guess because I remembered them doing that a lot. Dancing. My papa used to do an eagle call and they would come out at night, blocking out the stars.

“Can’t we stay like this forever?” I sighed, pulling my arm over my face. He snorted but didn’t answer, we both knew we couldn’t. I didn’t want to wake up, I missed being a kid, living in that bliss, knowing your whole life was ahead of you.

I let out a long, physical sigh. He only laughed and laid down next to me. “I wish we could have been children together, you would’ve liked where I grew up, it was beautiful.” He said, staring at the sky along with me.

I wished it too, living thousands of years ago, growing up with Solas, watching him become… Fen’harel. I had to tell him, I’d forgotten in my desire to be young, that I’d wanted to talk to him here. I’d do it now, quick, like ripping off a band-aid.

Fear gripped my stomach like a vice, but I pushed it away, I had to tell him. Even if it changed what we had, this bliss, it wasn’t real, it was a dream. I needed to help him in reality, I couldn’t do that without telling him.

“Solas I need to tell you something.” I said, not moving. I swallowed.

“Of course Lethallan.” He replied, staying still as well.

“You can’t… get mad at me though. And I want you to know that you can trust me, no matter what happens. No matter what you do. I’m going to be there, and help you.” He was quiet, still staring at the sky.

“I trust you.” He finally whispered. The sun was almost gone, if I was going to do it, I needed to do it now.

“Solas you… you’re…” I sat up, suddenly very much an adult, the weight of my confession heavy on my tongue. He was still laying there, staring up at me, with his young, childlike body and ancient, tired eyes.

“You’re Fen’harel.” I whispered it, barely said it, but as he sat up, and shifted from child to adult, I knew he heard me. His mouth was open, his brow furrowed.

All he managed was a near silent “What?” before the sun set, and my eyes opened back into the quiet tent in Thedas, where I was quite terrified of the man laying only a foot away from me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its midnight Thursday! Well almost, but I couldn't wait. So you know. I updated.
> 
> Also oh no a cliffhanger???? Is this going to be a regular thing?????
> 
> heheh yeah


	7. Talking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's an early update for you my sweets, I know I promised it earlier but this weekend has been hectic! That job I mentioned in chapter one? At the pool? Well I actually got that job! (I wasn't sure I would at the time of writing it) And I started on Saturday!! I officially made almost $100 this weekend ;D

I stayed perfectly still in the bed, unmoving, holding my breath. I knew Solas was awake, the shift I heard from his direction was tell enough. I imagined he’d sat up, hung his knees over the edge, and exhaled long and slow. I heard the pads of his feet touch the ground so quiet it was barely a sound, then shuffle forward. He paused at my bed, hesitant and unsure. Still I held my breath.

He shifted again, and I heard him very close to my ear, whisper, “Meet me in the forest behind the camp in ten minutes.” And then he was gone. 

My heart beat faster than it ever had before, I thought I might vomit as I finally exhaled, shaky and terrified. It was maybe dawn, barely light outside, and the camp was silent. I could scarcely hear the sound of the dying camp fire outside, crackling its last. Even Varric was sleeping silently. 

I got up carefully, trying to make as little noise as possible, I knew Varric would be extremely curious about our adventures in the fade. I didn’t want to wake him. 

I tied my belt on and wrapped my leggings back up, cursing myself internally as I did. I wondered if this would be a scolding from Solas, I wasn’t sure entirely of what he would do. I knew he’d had elves that knew of him in game, he had spies during Trespassers… but how had he recruited them? Surely none of them just walked up to him and shouted “Hey you’re Fen’harel!” 

I was probably a little more than fucked. 

I was gnawing on my lip as I slipped out of the tent, whatever happened I’d deal with it. I’d told him to trust me and hopefully he would. 

The camp was a bitter cold, the chill biting at my toes and ears. I ducked into my own tent for but a moment, stealing my new wool sweater and putting it on. Everyone was still asleep as well, even Nira was there; I hadn’t seen her at all since the night before last. I almost woke her up to tell her what had happened, but didn’t. Solas wouldn’t trust me if I went blabbing to my friends.

With my sweater on, and the ten minutes almost up, I marched into the woods. 

He was standing there, facing away, his hands pulled tight behind his back. He needed to stop standing like that if he was going to blend in, he looked far too regal. A bit melodramatic at the very least. 

I took another step forward, crunching a twig under my foot; his head snapped up. 

“You asked me to trust you,” He said slowly, not turning around.

“I did.” I replied, pulling my sweater down at the hem, it was a nervous tick, I guess, trying to cover myself. 

“So I’m going to try,” He turned to me at last, his face a blank sheet, entirely neutral. “You have yet to do anything to cause distrust in me at the very least. You’ve had every opportunity to betray me since you’ve arrived here and yet have done nothing.”

I swallowed as he took another step forward, still messing with my sweater like a child being reprimanded. 

“In fact you’ve done the opposite, bringing me back from the brink of death.” He’d closed most of the distance between us, standing with his arms behind him still. I wanted him to show emotion, any kind of emotion, anger, confusion. Anything. But his face was still blank, almost like he was trying to get a reaction out of me.

“But perhaps you mean to betray me still, and this is all some elaborate hoax.” He cocked an eyebrow at that, and I huffed in disbelief. “No I doubt that, you’re far too honest.” he chuckled.

Oh gods he was smiling down at me, he wasn’t angry.

“Solas I wanted to tell you sooner but I… I just wasn’t sure how you’d react.” I said and he hummed thoughtfully. 

“You were right to wait, though I am curious who told you. Very few know my secret. Unless you simply figured it out?” He took a step back and sat down on the ground, motioning for me to do the same. I sat across from him, crossing my legs as I did. 

“Well declaring yourself the wolf that wanted to eat all of the fairies in the land was quite the hint.” I giggled and his face flushed and turned sour. 

“I would rather not discuss our… childhood antics at the moment.” He sighed, rubbing his temples. I wouldn’t tease him again, though his expression was one to behold. 

“But if you must know how I knew, and I assume you must,” I started and he nodded me on. “I knew before I got here. I’m not… from this world. When I stumbled into you at the crossroads, that was my first day in Thedas. I was flustered and scared and eager to go home until I saw you and realized who you were.”

“Another world?” He asked, “Like the fade?”

“No because the fade isn’t another world, its connected to this one. My world isn’t even connected to our fade, if we ever had one.” I sighed, tugging my sleeves down past my hands. He seemed to like my answer well enough, humming his approval.

“In my world there are… books depicting this one, like fairy tail stories. There are many different iterations of the books, telling the story differently each time. My favorites were where the Hero of Fereldan was a city elf, she made Alistair king and remained at his side as his mistress, I liked to imagine she was the queen through him, though she wasn’t allowed the position.

“Then there were the books about the Champion of Kirkwall. I read one where he was a mage, another where she was a warrior… they all varied yet ended around the same.” It was almost annoying how quiet he was being, I wished he would throw something in, a comment or another hum at least. But he just sat there and listened. 

“Then there were the books that featured you.” I rubbed a cold spot on my cheek with my sweater covered palm. “You… you stood out to me right away I guess. From that first day at Haven. I still remember one of your first lines. ‘I’m glad to see you yet live.’ I thought you were… very interesting.”

“This book knew the exact details? Down to what I was going to say?” He asked. He reached up and put his hand to my cheek, whispering something, and it warmed right up once he removed his hand. Bless mages. 

“It knew everything about you, down to every last freckle.” I chuckled and his cheeks turned a shade of pink in response. “It told me the details of the future as well, things that haven’t come to pass yet. About Magister Alexius, the Red Templars, Corypheus and well… you. What you’re planning.”

“And what am I planning da’len?”

“You want to tear down the veil, even if it destroys this world in the process, you want to right the wrongs you believe you’ve made.” I wanted to argue the point that he didn’t do anything wrong to begin with, that he was right to create the veil, but he probably wouldn’t like that. “I don’t know exactly everything, its been a while since I read that part of the book. In fact its been a while since I picked up any of the books in the series.” 

“Curious. I want you to tell me everything you remember about Magister Alexius to begin with and then we’ll move down the timeline. I’m sure anything you know will be very helpful.” He said, leaning back on his hands. And so we spent the entire morning talking about what I knew, about the future of Thedas. He was most intrigued about the battle at Redcliffe Castle, and the time travel magic. I tried my best to describe everything I remembered. I had hoped he would fill in a couple blanks for me, but he only asked questions and allowed me to answer to the best of my ability. 

His face fell when I told him about the fate of Haven, we spent a little while discussing ways to avoid such a tragedy, but when I mentioned Skyhold he got quiet. We decided to… allow Haven’s destruction. Though we would take precautions the night of the attack. Perhaps plant a raven announcing the attack earlier in the evening, granting us an earlier escape. Hopefully saving more lives in the process. 

The battle of Adamant was what we ended up talking about the most, being sent into the fade and battling the demon. He told me that Anora was queen, and that the Hero of Fereldan had indeed survived, along with her lover Alistair. Meaning that we would be one day dealing with Morrigan’s son. It also meant Alistiar would be entering the fade with Hawke. We brainstormed for a while on ways to prevent either of their deaths, but when neither of us could come up with any solid ideas we agreed to discuss it later. 

Lastly we talked about the fate of his orb and what little I could remember about Trespassers. He seemed distraught for a short time, learning that it would shatter. He got up and paced before sitting back down and deciding that we would also be talking about that more in depth at a later time. 

Once done with what I could remember about the game, or uh, “Book”, he finally acknowledged the elephant in the room: How I would fit into his plans. 

“I would enjoy having you at the inquisition with me to be entirely honest.” he said, rubbing his temple. “It would be nice to have someone around I could discuss such matters with.”

“I can be a great stress relief for you I’m sure.” I replied, then quickly snapped a hand over my mouth. “Oh god, I didn’t- that came out entirely wrong!”

He snorted out a laugh, followed by some giggles that I soon joined, I loved seeing him laughing, he was captivating. 

“Captivating.” it slipped out before I could stop it, my hand flying back up to try and pull it back in. He paused the laughter but the smile remained. 

“Oh? Are we going to continue our game from last night?”

“Ah! No, it simply was one that came to mind. Besides, there are only so many synonyms to describe ones attractiveness.” I started to stand up and he followed, the two of us stretching our limbs out, we’d been outside since sun up and it was well past noon now. I had forgotten to eat again, damn. 

“Perhaps we could chose another word then? One with more synonyms? I do enjoy a game.” I almost sputtered a laugh at that, the trickster god enjoys games? Who would’ve thought. 

“I used to play a game as a girl where you would say a word and then someone had to say another word based off the last letter of the first, generally another adjective or an adverb,” I replied. “For example, Captivating would be… Grotesque.”

“Ah leaving me with ‘E’ then? Alright well… Extraordinary.” He and I began walking back to the camp; I’m sure explaining to my friends where I’d been all day was going to be wonderfully exciting. 

“You’ve left me with ‘Y’ and that cannot be fair.” I scoffed, stepping down over a rock. 

“Not up to the task? This game was your idea.” He retorted as we entered the camp. I rolled my eyes, racking my brain as we crossed passed the now busy fire and walked over to where they were serving food. I could feel eyes on us.

“Yearning.” I offered as I took a bowl of porridge. It was an adverb I think, and he seemed to accept it, thinking on the ‘G’ I’d handed him. He followed me to a log and the two of us continued our game over breakfast/lunch, much to my dismay he kept throwing vowels at me; he was good at it, and it made for a fun lunch. I was content to finish the day like that until Nira came up to me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only 2k words?! How dare I. Thanks for all the amazing comments you guys- seriously I can't believe how much attention this thing is getting!! 
> 
> I will still be updating Friday, hopefully with a longer chapter (most certainly with a longer chapter) but I just wanted to get this one out because I know you guys were upset about that cliffhanger!
> 
> I wrote this one a few different ways- one of which ended quite badly for all involved- but all in all I think it came out really well and I hope you enjoyed it~


	8. Screaming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hey hello this is your warning for attempted rape! There will be a second one further on to mark where it starts and ends if you'd like to skip it!

“Melana, we need to pack up camp.” Nira whispered, trying not to get noticed by Solas. I’d completely forgotten that today was the day we started the march to Haven, though I’d been so looking forward to it.

“Oh shit-” I jumped up, dropping my now empty bowl. “Sorry, uhm, I’ll be right there Nir,” I said back as Solas handed me the bowl. Nira nodded to me and then bowed awkwardly to Solas. Spending enough time with him made me realize he really didn’t like being bowed too, the way he returned it with a head nod and a grimace once she was gone.

“Did you make that face after I bowed to you?” I asked and his expression straightened out in an ‘ _I don’t know what you’re talking about_ ’ kind of way. “Never mind, I have to go pack up. We’re walking home together right? I believe you offered.”

I was most worried about how I would be transporting the bike which had gone unnoticed for the entirety of my being here. Maybe I’d get it on one of our carts of which we would apparently have two. Maybe I’d just ride it. Up all those hills.

“Of course, I’ll even secure you a steed unless you’re planning on mounting that… metal mess.” He said with a nod to the bike. A horse! Yes please!

“Oh the bike? I don’t think it would do to well up the way to Haven. I was hoping to get it on a cart or something. I don’t know if you could also make that happen…?” He took my begging tone and begrudgingly nodded his head. “You’re the best Solas,”

I put the bowl away in a pile where someone was already washing and then went over to my tent. Inside Nira was waiting to drill me with questions.

“Where were you last night?!”

“In the tent with Master Tethras and Ser Solas.”

“Did you sleep in his bed?”

“No I slept in The Heralds bed.”

“Where was he!?”

“With the soldiers I believe.”

She went on like that for a while as we packed up our things, and I kept my answers short and simple. I rolled up the bed like a sleeping mat and hooked it on to the bottom of my backpack with some leather straps. I was about to tuck my blanket in there as well when I remembered my purchase from yesterday.

I pulled the first aid kit out of my pack and laid it next to my new leather satchel, transferring over all of the items. I got a weird look from Nira but she kept her mouth shut, other than the millions of questions that were still pouring out of her. I untied my belt from under my sweater and moved it above, retying it and then attaching the satchel to it. I even tied the small coin purse to the opposite side.

With all of my belongings stowed safely in my waterproof backpack, I threw it on and stood up, wobbling a moment at the additional weight. I was extremely happy I would be riding horseback and not walking with this blasted thing on, but at the same time a little sad about it. I wouldn’t be walking with my friends, I probably wouldn’t see them again until we made camp later that night.

I helped with the rest of breaking down the tents, Tannis showed me the proper way to fold one up and then made me do it myself with the next one. I only messed up twice and he was happy to show me again.

“I’ll teach you how to set one up tonight,” He told me as we stowed the tents on our bigger cart where my bike was already pushed inside. I smirked at it but then realized I didn’t give anyone the key to the lock. Had someone picked the fucking lock? Rude! Solas could have just come and gotten the key for it. I decided to tuck the old first aid box into the cart as well, it wouldn’t fit in my bag, and someone else might find use of it.

I saw Ervan very briefly, he was going to be driving the cart to Haven, along with a woman who had been assigned to help him until he was used to his lack of an arm. He kept snapping at her every time she tried to show him how to do something.

“I’m not soft in the head woman I know how to hold a fork!” I heard him shout across the camp at one point, causing Tannis and I to have a small fit of laughter as we finished breaking down the last tent.

This was a recruiting set up as much as an outpost for the Herald, near about thirty people were traveling back to Haven with us, including Horse Master Dennett and Mother Giselle. When I said goodbye to my friends and ran off to find Solas, he was near the front of the group next to Ben and Varric, with Cassandra already on her horse.

Ben was joking to Varric about how they should’ve gotten him a pony when I walked up.

“I think Varric would prefer a giant nug, but oh well.” I laughed, taking my place next to Solas. The four of them looked at me with something akin to surprise at my statement, until Varric let out a short laugh.

“I’m stealing that,” He said, pulling out his notebook and mumbling under his breath, “Giant nug, that’s hilarious.”

I wanted to look into the camera like I was on the office.

“Melana!” Ben said happily, walking over and slapping me on the back. “I didn’t know you’d be riding with us. Not that I’m against it, it’s a happy surprise.” He gave Solas a wink that I’m sure he thought I couldn’t see.

“I asked her to join us, she knows quite a few good road traveling games.” Solas supplied such good excuses, like he couldn’t just say he wanted me around. I guess he probably couldn’t say that though. On that note I stood up on my tip toes and said, “Resplendent!”

To which Solas instantly replied, “Tactile.” I made a wincing noise and held my chest like I’d been shot. Always with the vowels this one.

“What in the Makers name are you two doing?” Cassandra asked from atop her lovely black horse. I wondered if they chose it specifically for her to match her armor or if she picked it herself? She seemed like the kind of woman who would pick her own horse.

Varric was the one to answer as Ben helped him up onto one of the shorter steeds. “I saw them do this last night, though that ended a little more interestingly.”

“Oh was someone pinned to the ground in a heated verbal debate?” Ben asked, oh I liked Ben. He was funny, funny men were always far better than any other kind.

“In a sense.” Solas replied. He pointed me to two horse that were standing off to the side of us, two matching chestnut colored stallions. They were amazing.

“Effervescent.” I whispered, both in response to the game and in reaction to the horse.

“I’m glad you’re pleased.” He replied.

We mounted the horses and rode with more banter, playing the word game took up brain power and time, and eventually, after I explained the rules to Ben and Varric, they took turns adding words to the mix. Varric mostly ended up with his reigns tied to the person in front of him so that he could write down all the words Solas and I were practically shouting. He would even ask for definitions if he didn’t know the word himself.

For example when Ben offered up “Greasy,” and I replied “Yonic,” I got weird looks from everyone around.

“Yonic is not a word,” Cassandra said, as though she was the living dictionary.

“It is too,” I scoffed. Solas raised an eyebrow next to me, and I groaned. “It isn’t my fault none of you know what it means.”

“Then enlighten us,” Solas said, “Unless it truly is a word you’ve just made up, I know that ‘Y’ is hard for you.” Oh I was going to slap him good, I leaned over and tried to smack at him but he steered his horse just out of my reach and laughed.

“Fine, Yonic. Y-O-N-I-C,” I spelt it for Varric who was very clearly writing it down. “Meaning when something is shaped or looks like that of a woman’s vulva.” Solas face went red at my clear enunciation of the word vulva, Cassandra made her famous disgusted sound, and Ben was laughing, but Varric was smiling like a fool. “If you don’t know what a vulva is then that is very much your problem, I’m not giving you that definition.”

“Oh dewdrop you are a gift.” He chuckled. The game continued after that starting with ‘C’ which is when Cassandra joined, now oddly interested in our little word game. We marched by horse back for a few hours, until the sky started to grow dark. We chose a small clearing to camp for the night, and everyone was beat. Well, those who had walked. I was still pretty alright, though my ass was aching. I’d ridden horseback as a child, I used to do it bareback, but I hadn’t done it in years, let alone for such a long amount of time.

Solas jumped down from his horse and grabbed mine by the reigns, guiding us over to a large tree and then tying the two horse to its trunk.

“Let me,” He said, walking to the side just as I swung my leg over to dismount. His hand gripped my waist, lowering me gently to the ground. His hands lingered there as I turned to face him.

“Ah- thank you Solas, its been a long time since I rode, I’m pretty sore.” I was sure I was a mess, my hair going all which ways, I should have let Nira braid it again. He chuckled and reached to my face, brushing back a loose strand of hair; one of many I’m sure.

“I know a spell if you like, to take the pain away.” He offered, his hand was still hovering by my ear, the other resting firmly on my hip. It was rather… intimate, especially for him. I’d never been one to really care about intimate touches, so I didn’t over think it really.

“For my rear?” I scoffed, and he removed his hands from both my face and waist, taking a step back. He cleared his throat.

“No I guess not.”

“I can live with the slight pain Solas, perhaps after tomorrows ride I’ll be a bit more desperate,” I chuckled, stepping past him. Since the others were so tired it was up to us few who hadn’t walked to set up tents. I found Tannis near the back of the group, they chastised me a little for leaving them to live it up with the Herald, but stopped when I offered to do all the set up myself.

  
With Tannis over seeing me I was able to set up three tents. Unfortunately it was going to be six people to a tent instead of four now, since we were mobile and had to leave a few tents behind for the other soldiers. When it came down to sleeping arrangements a few men crudely offered to sleep with Nira and I, Solas jumped in at that, saying that if they had the energy for abusing women then they certainly had the energy to keep watch first. Nira gripped my hand and buried her face in my shoulder to keep herself from a laughing fit.

They ended up sorting us by gender, though women were at a slight minority. Nine women to twenty one men, meaning one tent would end up with three men in their tent no matter how we sorted. Tannis and Isannan were assigned the tent with the three women, since they were at the least risk for raping anyone.

“Ser Solas can sleep with us as well!” Nira chirped from my side, I smacked her arm whispering chastisements. “He is an elf, its only natural he be paired with us.”

Solas, who was on the other side of the circle we’d formed to decided sleeping arrangements, looked up to me, then to Nira next to me. Then he looked around at all the hungry men who wanted to do nothing else but share a tent with us.

“I have no problem with that.” He said blandly and Nira was going to die I think, from the way she was shaking me. That or I was going to.

 

“You need your own love life to freak out over,” I spat at Nira as we were carrying fire wood back from the cart later on in the evening.

“Oh please, there’s no one here I’m interested in, everyone is too… human.” She huffed. I sat my wood down on a small pile by the fire.

“Too human? You’re into elf boys then?” I asked, taking her wood and setting it on top of mine. She brushed her hands off on her shirt and scowled. “No then? Dwarves?” another scowl.

“Qunari?” I gasped, “You naughty girl!” She smacked my arm as I giggled. We made our way back into our tent, where the girl that had been with Ervan earlier on was sitting in the far corner. She introduced herself as Erica, she was quite nice, brown hair and eyes to match, but she was very young. Maybe only seventeen.

Tannis and Isannan appeared a little while later, sweaty and breathing heavily. I wasn’t going to say anything but Nira gave them a weird look. They needed to tell her, and soon if they were going to be sneaking around like this. Luckily they came bearing food, so no one complained about the obvious stench of sex on them. We were on rations, so each of us only got a hunk of bread and some ram jerky.

We ate over very light conversation, along with more chastisement for ditching them, but by the time that Solas walked into the tent, everyone had eaten and was being very quiet. Nira, the brat that she is, moved from being next to me to next to the other girl, leaving the spot next to me conveniently empty. Solas took her hint.

“Da’len,” he said, nodding his head to me. Nira, who was now situated above me, tapped her foot on my back as Solas sat down.

“We have an early morning Haren,” Solas visibly flinched when I said it. If he was going to call me little one then I was going to call him the elven equivalent of grandpa. I unlatched my satchel and put it at my feet before removing my sweater and foot wraps. Normally I’d take off my pants and tunic as well, but Solas was literally staring at me, so I decided to opt out of that.

I kicked my feet underneath the blankets and wiggled down until it was at my shoulders. Nira kicked my head once before I grabbed her ankle and yanked her down a foot, causing a string of laughter, but she didn’t do it again. I could hear Solas shuffling into his sleeping mat next to me and I tried to just block it out. I thought about putting my headphones in but my bag was at my feet with my satchel, if I wanted it I had to sit up again, and that might stir someone to talk to me.

So I fell asleep slower than I would’ve liked, listening to the sounds of everyone breathing, and the light crackling of the fire outside.

When my sleeping mind awoke in the fade I was… surprised at where I was. I was sitting in the farthest back booth of an ice cream parlor on the beach I used to live at as a girl, a cone of chocolate peanut butter cup in my hand. Well you don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.

I’d eaten the ice cream down to the cone by the time the door opened and Solas walked inside. There he was, completely out of place with his rustic clothing and pointed ears. He walked right over to me and sat down. I handed him the cone. I’d left some ice cream in the bottom for him.

“I figured you’d be here.” I sighed, leaning on my elbows, my palms pushing into my cheeks.

“We are sleeping next to one another,” He said, turning the cone around in his hand. I grabbed his wrist and pulled it towards me, biting off a chunk of chocolate coated waffle cone. It was nice really, having this time with time with him there, even though I’d spent the entire day with the idiot. He mimicked what I’d done, biting the side.

“Thanks for doing that by the way, Nira was… scared that we’d get some nasty human.” I watched as he bit off a chunk too big and the ice cream started to spill, I gasped before grabbing him again, just as the drip reached his hand.

I licked up the side of it, from his thumb to the giant gap he’d made in the side of the cone. “You can’t let it drip, you’ll make a mess.” I sighed, leaning back and releasing him. He seemed frozen, staring at the ice cream. I was worried he was going to let it drip again but just as it started to overflow he brought it up to his lips and licked into it.

It was… almost vulgar. Lets just say the cone looked very yonic at the moment.

The majority of the night was spent with the two of us just walking around, at first we just walked along the beach, this one couldn’t hold a candle to the last, but it had nice sandy beaches and smelled of salt. So it was pleasant. I hadn’t been back to this beach in years, so the memory wasn’t entirely intact. I had to stick pretty close to Solas, everything seemed more grounded around him.

We eventually settled by some rocks and logs, watching the waves roll in. We hadn’t spoken since the ice cream. Neither of us seemed ready to break that silence. I was taking a deep breath, inhaling the salted scent of the sea when it happened, when suddenly I was dragged from the fade. The last thing I saw was Solas’ face, anger and despair twisting it into fear.

When I opened my eyes I was desperate to be back there.

 

 

 

**((Attempt at Rape Warning))**

 

 

  
The guards, the two from before, had decided that it was smart to tie my hands together and stuff something into my mouth, then promptly drag me out of my tent and tie said hands to a tree, just out of hearing range from the camp. My bare feet burned in the fresh snow that had fallen over night and was still cascading around us; their heated breath scorching my neck as they bit down into me. I’d never understood why people in movies didn’t push the thing in their mouth out with their tongues, apparently it was because your jaw locks up when its held open like that. Good to know.

I was kicking and squealing, trying to get free, a burning hot rage filling me from the inside out. One of the men grabbed my legs and spread them, the other bringing his knife to my tunic, tearing it down the middle.

They were talking to one another, about how great this was going to be, how hot and wet I probably already was. They wondered if I was a virgin, if I would be tight or if I would bleed.

He was about to bring the blade to my trousers when the flaming feeling inside of me snapped, and suddenly was very much on the outside of me.

It started from my eyes, everything turning red as the fire spewed from my mouth, burning whatever had been shoved in there to a crisp, I let out a scream but one of the men slammed a hand over my mouth, though he quickly regretted that. Next the fire reached my hands, swelling up and out to burn the ropes.

“You didn’t say she was a fucking mage!” The man with his palm on my mouth yelled, pulling his hand back and fumbling away. The other one, the one at my feet, responded something but I didn’t hear it, I was too busy screaming and burning.

I was still too far from the camp for anyone to hear even that, but Solas was coming, I knew he was. I fell to the ground, the snow quickly melting from around me. I couldn’t stop the flames, they were pushing everything away, they kept spreading until the two men had scampered far enough away. One pulled his knife back out, as though to kill me. He probably thought I was an abomination at this point, and he was probably right.

I screamed out again, this time it wasn’t in anger, but fear. Fear that I was about to die, fear that this was going to be the last thing I ever did. Burn.

 

**((I'm ending the warning here, if you skipped it then all you need to know is that she discovered she's a mage and is currently a little on fire))**

 

But then I saw him, Solas, running and yelling for me to stop, but I couldn’t. I didn’t know how, I wasn’t in control. He pushed past the men and dove into the flames, forcing them to bend to his will. He cupped my face in his hands.

“Melana!” He was shouting but I barely heard him. “You have to stop or you’ll die!”

More fear, I wasn’t screaming now but weeping, struggling to keep a hold on my consciousness; everything was burning. Solas was struggling to keep the fire off of his body, my skin was burning against his palm as he stroked my cheek with his thumb.

“Melana, please stop.” He begged, closing his eyes and pressing his forehead to my own.

“I-Solas I c-can’t,” I managed, fire still dripping from every inch of my skin. He closed his eyes and scowled, as though that would help. I had nothing to hold on to but the fear of death, dragging me closer into its embrace.

“Melana look at me!” He growled, forcing my face closer to his own. “Focus on the sound of my voice, as though it were only us two in the entire world.” He was speaking calmly but his eyes were filled with terror. I held his gaze, closing my mouth to swallow before opening it back up.

“You’re safe now, I’m here.” He said, far softer than before. His thumb stroked over my cheek and my eyes fluttered closed. I pulled myself back in, I listened, and I focused. It was only him, his voice, his touch, the smell of pine and sweat emanating from him. Only him.

I could feel the fire give one last push before flickering out, all of the energy fading away. My body sagged into his touch, and I fell into a dreamless sleep as Solas kissed my forehead and whispered once more that I was safe.

The first time I woke up I was still in that spot in the woods, my head resting on Nira’s lap; Solas’ sweater lying over my torso. I could hear him yelling at someone, cursing them and telling them they were fools. Nira looked like she had been crying, but now she was just glaring ahead at whomever had invoked Solas’ wrath, her hands delicately undoing tangles in my hair.

The second time I woke up I was being carried back to the camp, and there were people watching; a lot of them. Ben was carrying me I think, with Nira at his side, telling him what had happened. It seemed Solas didn’t want to talk about it.

The third and final time I woke up it was morning, and I was in a tent on a cot. My mouth was beyond dry, and my head was pounding. I rolled over, trying to get a view of my surroundings when I saw Solas, hunched over in the chair next to me, his face in his hands. Varric was in another chair towards the entrance, holding Bianca and stroking her gently. When our eyes met he sat Bianca aside and jumped across the room, startling Solas awake.

“Dewdrop,” He said softly, his rough hand rushing to touch my cheek and then my forehead. “You put on quite a show.” he said dryly. I think it was meant as a joke, but his face was very stern, his jaw tight.

“Melana,” Solas breathed, and Varric moved aside. “I’m sorry,”

Oh no, I didn’t want to hear those words, not from those lips, never again. Before I could say anything he continued.

“I shouldn’t have left us so unguarded, I should have known those men would’ve… I should have done more.” His hands were replacing Varrics and I was attempting to sit up. I needed to talk to him properly, but my throat was still burning.

“Varric,” I croaked, “Could you get me some water?”

“Of course; anything.” he said as he backed out of the room. From the tent door I could see more guards standing outside, keeping watch for me. Bless Ben, seriously. If any other person had been inquisitor I wouldn’t have woken up. It would’ve either been a knife to my throat or… or… tranquility.

“Those men-” I started, trying to sit up further, but Solas cut me off.

“Those men have been locked in irons and will be imprisoned once we return to Haven.” He let go of my face finally, and sat back in his chair, watching me. I was glad that they had been dealt with, but a small part of me wished they’d been executed. “I almost killed them both.” Solas sighed.

My eyes snapped up to meet his, “Ben wouldn’t let you?”

“Ben wouldn’t let me.” He confirmed.

“It wasn’t your fault Solas.” I said, trying to clear my throat, but he clearly didn’t believe that.

“I should have set up wards, I should have left the fade the minute you did instead of looking for you there, I should’ve known you were-” it was my turn to cut him off, putting a finger over his mouth to stop him from blathering.

“I didn’t even know I was a mage Solas, besides, you’re not the one that tied me to a tree and tried to…” I didn’t finish that sentence, I didn’t need to. We both knew what would’ve happened had Solas not arrived. Or at least, what would have happened if I hadn’t gone all ‘Flame On’ on them. He sighed again and I was starting to think that was the only way he could breath.

He reached over and tucked a loose curl behind my pointed ear, letting his hand brush over my cheek. “You were almost lost to me, I wont let it happen again.” the endearment shook me for a moment, I knew we’d grown close but that was almost… romantic.

“You can’t protect me forever Solas, teach me instead.”

At that Varric returned with a large water skin and three Elves, a human, and a dwarf that all desperately wanted to see me.

  
Ben told me that they’d delayed their trip another day to let me recover and I actually smacked him upside the head, gaining gasps from my elf companions.

“Ow!” he laughed, but I knew it didn’t hurt; punk-ass. “And I gave you bodyguards!” he said agast, holding his cheek with a fake pout.

“You can’t delay a mission of 30 plus people because one had a bad night! Pack up, we’re leaving in twenty minutes damn it!” Solas was snickering next to me as I yelled, and I almost smacked him as well. “We don’t have time for this! Thank you, and all, for being really nice about what’s happening, but we need to go.” My voice evened out at the end, trying to smile and act remotely kind.

Nira, Tannis and Isannan ran out, obeying me instantly. Ben sighed, but went out as well, ordering everyone to pack it up. I heard a lot of groans but he told them to shut up.

“You seem to be a force of nature.” Solas said and Ervan snorted a, “You know she is,” which reminded us all that he was still there. I looked down to the dwarf; he’d combed this beard, and in his only hand he was holding some flowers, probably intended for me. Solas raised a brow at the man.

“These r’ferr you.” he grunted, looking at his feet and extending the flowers up at me. I took them, smiled, and then bent down, kissing his forehead.

“Thank you Ervan, now go pack up.” I nodded my head out of the tent and he winked up at me, but didn’t leave until he gave Solas a weird sort of, ‘good job’ nod. I looked down at the flowers, all odd little daisies with one elf root sticking out of it. I smelled them; they were lovely. Varric followed him out, probably to go find Cassandra and tell her all of his new story ideas.

“Was that your dwarf admirer?” Solas asked, peeking out of the tent. I looked past him, watching everyone scurrying around, we needed to go help.

“It was, yes.” I put a hand to his cheek, turning his face towards me. “Should we talk? About last night?” He examined me, and for the first time since I’d met him, he wasn’t smiling or scowling, but looking scared, nervous. Considerate. I pulled my hand back down.

“I never sensed magic in you, though I never cared to look. You certainly didn’t seem… I didn’t suspect magic, not after healing me the way you did.” He sat down on the edge of the bed and I followed him over to it, kneeling in front of him. “You aren’t from this world Melana, it doesn’t make sense that you would have such control over the fade, or that you would posses magic in any way.”

“I agree that none of it makes sense, but… Solas what can we do about it but accept it? I have magic, and I’m here.” He hung his head as I spoke, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’ll ask again: Train me.” He looked back up at me. “I can’t control the magic, obviously, and you knew how to bring me back down from my… incident.”

“You were too focused on the fear, magic is extremely emotion based.” He replied, resting his cheek in the palm of his hand, considering before continuing. “If… if I’m to teach you then you have to listen to every instruction, every command you must obey.” My panties got a little wet from that sentence but I quickly nodded.

“Then we’ll begin tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow.” I repeated. I swallowed hard. If he was going to be making commands then I was certainly going to be a wet mess of arousal before the weeks end. I wasn’t going to survive to Haven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I'm updating a day late and I'm seriously so sorry, to be honest I forgot it was Friday yesterday because my schedule is so out of whack and I worked all day. 
> 
> I offer you a doubled up chapter as penance for my sins <3


	9. Questioning

The day proceeded normally after that, we finished packing up the camp and I got some very dirty looks from pretty much everyone around me, but other than that things went rather well. Solas wouldn’t let me lift a damn finger, and apparently those guards that had been assigned to watch me? Templars. Ben later explained that it wasn’t his idea, and that Cassandra had near forced his hand there.

 “We have to think of the rest of the troops,” She’d apparently said, which of course is what broke Ben. He cared very deeply about everyone around him, even if he knew that Solas was enough to keep me grounded, and trusted me completely… he couldn’t argue against the agents safety.

 So I was stuck with two Templars following me around all day. It was kind of annoying at first, that these people with no trust in me were like three feet away, but then I realized it was a blessing within a curse. Whenever someone would get near me that wasn’t in the inner circle, my bodyguards would scare them off. They were like giant pit bulls. But I think Solas was enough to do that; the third person to refuse to leave my side. He was worried about me, I knew that, but he was kind of hovering.

 After packing up the camp, which for me was sitting by the fire and eating breakfast with Solas, we got back on the road. Our games from the day before were not present; the air too tense from what happened. I wanted to move past it. I didn’t want people to forget but I wanted everyone to be the same as before; having fun at the very least.

 My new Templar friends didn’t have their own horses, instead they walked alongside me, constantly vigilant, I mean I could’ve turned into an abomination at any moment! Thank the maker they were there.

 We’d ridden for a few hours before we decided to break for lunch in a small clearing. It was mid-afternoon and everyone seemed rather grumpy, but I imagine that happens when you’re told you get to lay around for another night and then some bitch decides that’s not happening and you have to march all day.

 Part of me wished Sera was there, she would know what to say or do to make tensions die down. But we wouldn’t have her with us until after visiting Orlais. I thought briefly on all of my future friends. Cole,Vivienne, Blackwall… Iron Bull. Oh and of course Dorian.

 Out of everyone I was most excited for Cole, he was one of those characters that I grew attached to instantly. I hoped that he and I would be very close friends.

 Lunch was quiet, much to my surprise, everyone just sort of sat around and ate in silence. It was still rations; some ram jerky and water from animal skin containers. I was getting used to the taste of ram, though I would do anything for a Cheesy Potato Burrito from Taco Bell.

 After lunch we got back on the horses and I’d had just about enough of everyone ignoring one another.

 “Okay guys can we stop sitting in pensive silence? Its really boring and we still have a few hours to go,” I sighed, leaning back in my saddle. Everyone sort of glanced up at me, but Varric was the first to respond.

 “Maker I thought I was the only one who was bored out of his mind.” He chortled, moving a bit closer to me. “So what road game do you have to distract us Dewdrop?”

I hummed for a moment, thinking. I knew a few more, I spy, the alphabet game… but that one wouldn’t exactly work, there weren’t any road signs or license plates to go off of. I spy was probably my best bet, or twenty questions.

“Okay, we’ll start with twenty questions.” I announced, loud enough that the entire inner circle could hear it. “I’ll think of a person, place or thing, and you have to use twenty questions to figure out what it is, and you can‘t just ask flat out what it is, ask descriptive questions. I can only answer Yes or No.”

“Simple enough,” Solas replied, not looking towards me. Ass hat, he was probably going to get it on the second question. Ben was clearly already invested, bending over his horse to get a good look at my face, as though that would make it easier to read me. Cassandra was doing that thing where she wasn’t looking at any of us but was very obviously interested.

Solas started, “Is it large?”

“Yes,”

“Is it an animal?” Varric chimed in.

“Yes,” I was thinking of a dragon, and I was going to be very irritated if they got it too quickly.

“Is it a Mabari?” Ben shouted, like he knew he got it.

“No,” I chuckled. They took another moment, thinking of their next question. “You’ve got 17 left.”

“Is it something you could ride?” Varric asked, I looked over to him and saw the notebook he had out, he was actually writing everything down. It technically was something you could ride, but you’d be stupid to try. I knew saying yes would fuck them right up though, no one would be stupid enough to mount a dragon. Other than Hawke.

“Yes,” I said with a smirk. “16,” I reminded them.

“A horse then?” Solas asked, he was leaning forward rather awkwardly, still not looking at me but instead the road ahead.

“No,” I breathed, “15.”

That gave them a lump, if not a horse then a hart perhaps, Ben said at one point, but that only ate up another one of their turns. They spent a few minutes throwing descriptive questions at me, texture, size; larger than a horse but smaller than a castle. Varric even threw Giant Nug at me just to get a laugh from the entire group, even my Templars chuckled.

“A dragon.” Solas groaned, when they‘d gotten down to only four questions left. “You’re thinking of a dragon.”

“Yes!” I said, clapping. “Good job Solas, your turn.” He was pinching the bridge of his nose, scowling at nothing.

“How could you ride a dragon?!” Cassandra yelled, throwing her arms up. She hadn’t said anything the entire game but had apparently been listening to every word. Ben also seemed to share her irritation.

“You could, if you were stupid.” I responded, smirking. Solas hummed in agreement and Varric wrote something down. I knew he’d thought of Hawke, they were probably the only person who would do it.

It was Solas’ turn next and he was even harder to read than me, completely unmoving in his expressions. We started off thinking he had a person in mind, but then with one question we realized it was a place instead. We only had five questions left to figure out what place exactly he was thinking of.

“Knowing Solas it’s a place that none of us would normally know, something either completely obscure or something entirely mundane, so mundane that we wouldn’t think of it.” I said. I was getting rather tired, my rear aching in ways I didn’t know it could. I think I was going to ask Solas for that spell he offered. Solas raised a brow at me, the monster, I knew I shouldn’t have played this game with him.

“So something elven then? Oh, that city, the ancient one, uhm, ah… Arlathan?” Ben chirped eagerly, but only got a solemn, “No,” from Solas, causing Ben to huff in defeat. Four questions. I eyed him. It wouldn’t be Skyhold, or the crossroads, nothing that would question his lies. It had to be something simple, something stupid.

“Is it human made?” I asked.

“Yes.” He replied. That definitely narrowed it down, but we only had three questions left. Haven maybe? But that was too obvious…

“Redcliffe Castle?” I asked hopefully, Varric and Cassandra physically winced, like that was the stupidest answer I could’ve given. Solas hummed thoughtfully, like he was considering if my answer was correct or not, which was ridiculous but certainly built tension.

“Yes,” He answered, finally looking at me with a smile. “How did you guess?”

“We talked about it just the other day, I figured it was still on your mind.” I sighed, my entire body relaxing, I really hadn’t wanted to lose. “Since I just went, I’ll give my turn to someone else. Ben?”

“Oh yes! I’ve already got mine, go ahead.” He rubbed his hands together like a villain and I snorted, immediately I shouted, “Mabari!” and watched him cry out in defeat, the entire group bursting with laughter.

We rode for another hour, playing the same game until Solas finally whipped us well enough that we were certain he was reading our minds, but when the sky started to grow dark, and we realized we’d been riding a bit too long, we stopped for the night. The snow had started to coat the ground, covering away the green and hiding the flowers. Setting up for camp was even slower than the day before, and Ben even suggested we just march through the night. But everyone was bone tired.

“Solas, a moment?” I whispered, pulling him into the first tent that had been set up. He stumbled in, probably confused as to why I wanted him alone when he‘d been smothering me all day. As much as I wanted alone time… I wasn’t used to riding this much, I could barely walk with the pain I was in.

“That uhm, spell you offered yesterday?” I spoke softly and his eyebrows rose with each word, dropping his backpack to the ground. “Is that still on the table?”

I was holding my rear, trying to stretch out my back, and his eyes glazed down my body before snapping back up to my face. As much as I was sure this wasn’t a good idea, I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight unless he helped.

“Of course, I didn’t realize you were in so much pain.” He said, and motioned for me to lay down, “We should have stopped sooner if you weren’t feeling well,”

I laid down on my stomach, I hadn’t even realized I’d been hurt until we stopped; my ass numb by that point. I certainly wasn’t going to be the one that stopped our group just because my ass hurt, he knew that. There was some shuffling before I felt his knees brush my side, his slight exhale the only indication that he was hesitant.

I felt him unlatch my belt, pulling my sweater up to expose my still clothed rear. I was wearing three layers not including my smalls and I imagined that if we were in a more romantic relationship he might take all of them off. But doing it over my pants seemed fine for him.

I thought briefly of my torn tunic, I knew Nira had it and I wondered if she’d planned to fix it? I rather liked it, it fit better with my Thedasian outfit compared to my tank top. If someone gave me the materials I’d gladly fix it myself. But that’s neither here nor there, the focus right now is Solas’ hands about to start working magic on my butt.

I let my eyes slide closed; enjoying just not being on my ass, when his hands pressed lightly against my rear. Now that I knew he didn’t really need to do. All healing magic I’d witnessed had been hovering hands, not touching. I didn’t complain though, when his hands started to pour healing energy into me I didn’t really care about anything. He could have put his hands against my bare ass and I probably wouldn’t have noticed; the aches and pains drained away until nothing but bliss was left.

He drew his hands up from my bottom to my back, under my sweater but still on my tank top, digging his thumbs into the base of my spine, causing my breath to shake. I needed another good massage, maybe I’d bug Tannis for one tonight, he’d bragged once or twice that he was more than proficient at them. But as Solas’ hands traveled further up, pushing into my shoulder blades, I realized I didn’t need Tannis, I had someone here who could do it for me.

“Solas,” I slurred and his hands paused. “No, no keep doing that.”

“What is it da’len?” He hummed, resuming the pressure to my back which made me moan. He let out a deep chuckle before rolling his thumb over a knot.

“If you’re going to massage me then the top needs to come off.” I groaned. He couldn’t quite get the knot with the shirt on, the fabric just kept rubbing and burning against my skin. He thought a moment on that, then pulled his hands out.

“Very well, it seems that the stress of our travels have put a lot of strain on your back, I’d hate to train you when you’re tense.” He said, standing and turning around. “You may strip down to your trousers, if you’d like proper healing.”

I sat up a little too fast, pulled my clothes off a little too quickly, and laid back down a little too eagerly. The cold air was rough against my exposed skin, but I ignored it, knowing soon Solas would be drawing warming runes into it anyway. Solas turned around and drew in a long breath before sitting back down and putting his hands on my back.

The first thing he did was move my hair which had spread itself across my back, to better expose my shoulders. He ran a single finger down my spine, and I felt it stretch back into its proper position; I didn’t even know it was doing anything wrong, but I gasped as he did it. Gaining me another amazing chuckle from him.

“I have a very sensitive back.” I whispered, glaring at the floor. I had my arms crossed in front of me, cradling my face, so I couldn’t see him but I could picture the evil smile he most likely had. I quickly regretted telling him about my back as he dragged his fingers down my side, causing me to shudder and him to laugh once again.

“Massaging! Solas; not tickling.” I reminded him. I wished I knew more magic, I would’ve done… something more than chastising him.

He obeyed though, returning to work out the knots in my back, he wasn’t pushing to hard, which was nice. I never had a very tough back, it didn’t take much to hurt me. He applied pressure to my lower back and there was a popping sound that surprised both of us.

The sounds from outside had died down, I imagined that no one had tried to come in yet because of my two guard dogs who were more than likely sitting outside glaring at every person that walked by. Solas circled his hands around my shoulder blades and suddenly I was far more than tired, my eyelids struggling to stay up. I only had a moment to wonder if he’d put a spell on me before my eyes fell closed, and my mind turned to the fade.

I was getting used to it I think, waking in the fade. I’d always been an extremely active dreamer, so it made sense for me to have more control there. Solas and I had agreed to training that day, and I hoped that he’d meant in the fade, rather than when we were awake, and it seems I was right.

After a while of wandering alone, save the wandering spirit that drifted by now and again, I found him. He was leaning against a tree, staring off into the distance with his arms tightly behind his back. His stature was almost comfortable, far more so than I’d ever seen him around camp. Other than when I’d gotten half a bottle of wine into him.

I walked closer, almost hesitant; it could easily be a desire demon, which was a constant fear of mine. I think a desire demon shaped like Solas would probably be the only one that could really tempt me, or maybe Iron Bull. Or Cullen… Or Leliana. Okay so a lot of forms could tempt me, I’m a simple woman.

I decided it best to just… assume it was Solas. Surely if it wasn’t the real Solas would be along soon to scold me for trusting a demon, or at least get rid of it for me.

“That was a dirty trick to get me to go to sleep,” I said as I stepped up next to him. He flinched, his demeanor only shaking for a moment before returning. He didn’t respond, only raised an eyebrow, curling his small scar upwards. Damn, I don’t know how much I would mind if it was a desire demon. I pushed out my chest a little, if it was… well it wouldn’t hurt to taunt it. “What exactly is the plan today then? I have some lovely memories of eating different kind of cakes,”

“Ah, well I believe it would be appropriate to… go back to my childhood.” He nodded pointedly past him and I followed his gaze. Had I not seen him before I would not have recognized the child version of Solas. He was sitting among many other children, someone tugged on his hair and he spun around to swat at them.

I bit down on my bottom lip, a slight bit disappointed it wasn’t a demon. Which was a stupid thought to have, I tried to push down the primitive part of my brain and focus on the fact that Solas was walking towards the group of children.

I jumped to catch up to him, the two of us making our way over to observe, they were in a sort of class, all sitting in a large group and watching an older elf towards the front. But they were out in an open field, not a classroom like I knew. Child Solas was sitting near to the front, wearing his hair up in braids, with his feet cross and smiling brightly up at the teacher.

They started talking but it was beyond advanced elven so I couldn’t exactly understand, though I did pick up one or two words.

“Solas, what are they saying?” I asked, whispering to him. He didn’t answer, just snapped his fingers to alter the world around us.

“My mamae says that Mythal is coming to see us!” One of the girls shouted in common, ah he’d changed the language for me. That was kind of him; though I wished instead he would teach me how to properly speak elven instead. Not that we had time for that now.

“She’s going to pick the most powerful mages to join her in the capitol!” Another shouted in response, causing an uproar. The child Solas was beaming, knowing full well that he would get chosen.

“I was the best, even in my youth. No one could match my mastery of world alteration, attack magic, or healing. I was even good at mundane fighting, I was cocky.” Adult Solas said next to me. I looked up at him, watching the way he smiled wistfully down at his younger self. “I got picked of course, and was moved to the greatest Elven City of our time, trained for years to become Mythal’s loyal guard dog.”

“I wish I could be trained like that,” I hummed thoughtfully, watching now as the memory changed, the images around us shifting. We were standing now in a training area, swords and shields on the walls, training dummies all around the room. There were also staffs, and large sticks which I assumed were used to train your magical abilities sitting in some barrels. Solas walked over to one, taking two out and tossing me one of them.

“You’re going to be.” He replied finally, taking off his shirt and motioning for me to do the same. I stripped down to my trousers and sports bra, swinging the stick in hand. “We’ll train more like this in Haven, but for now it's important that we work on your mind.”

“I don’t know how training with sticks in the fade is going to improve my mind.” I snorted, stepping towards him.

“Oh it won't, this is just an easy way to make you learn movements and techniques before actually using them out of the fade. It won't hurt as much when I hit you, but you’ll still be sore in the morning.” He replied, whacking my stick out of my hand and then swatting my back when I leaned over to pick it up.

“Then its not working on my mind at all!” I yelped as he came at me with the staff again. He was spry for being over a thousand. “Why can’t we go to a ball or something, show me some elegance of your old life! They always do that in the stories, not talk about you whacking people with sticks,” I said as he whacked me with a stick. He was enjoying this.

We didn’t talk much after that, just whacked and dodged, he made me work on my footing which was apparently terrible, and after fighting for a long time I even got a good hit on his side, making him recoil and hold where I’d hit him.

For a minute I’d thought I’d actually hurt him and went to help, but it was bait, he punched me in the stomach and let me fall to the ground.

“Don’t let your guard down,” He chuckled. I imagined he wouldn’t be hurting me this much if we weren’t in the fade. I smirked and I spun under him, kicking his feet down, letting his ass hit the ground.

“Same to you.” I replied, sticking my tongue out. At that he was on me, now a full on wrestling match and not a spar. He grabbed at my ankle and pulled me towards him, pinning my arms under me. I squeaked as he pressed his elbow to my throat.

Luckily for me he’d stopped paying attention to my legs.

I wiggled my calf out from under him and hooked my knee around his hips, flipping us right over. I pinned his hands to either side of his head, my hair cascading down around him.

He blew a strand away from his face and cocked an eyebrow up at me.

“That was sloppy,” He said, pushing into my hands as though I was simply going to let him up. I didn’t, slamming his wrists back into the ground. He scoffed, and then relaxed his arms. “Very well, you win.”

At that I released him. Standing up and offering him my hand, he took it, allowing me to pull him up next to me.

“If I ever get in a mud wrestling fight I’ll be sure to emerge victorious.” I chuckled, popping my knuckles.

We went on like that for a while now, without the staffs and instead with normal hand to hand combat. Solas wasn’t as good at that, and I seemed to excel, though I lacked basic footwork Solas was no match for my quick punches. I got a few good hits on him before he decided we should switch back to sticks. Obviously that had nothing to do with me kicking the crap out of him.

The night drifted on like that for a while, until the two of us were finally feeling tired, and decided to sit down for a breather.

“Am I going to have bruises when I wake up?” I asked breathlessly as he handed me a water skin. I leaned up against a wall and slid down until my butt hit the floor.

“No more than me I assume.” He groaned as he lowered himself to the ground next to me.I opened my pouch and started chugging the cool liquid he’d offered. It wasn’t nearly as satisfying as I’d anticipated it to be, but it was the fade. Everything was an echo here.

“Is Melana your real name?” Solas asked when I finally came up for air. I wiped a bit of water from my chin.

“No, I thought Madison would be too… Human, and since I turned into an elf somehow when I crossed into Thedas, I figured… When in Rome.” I sighed, dropping the now empty waterskin onto the floor next to me. He gave me a confused look and I returned it. Until I realized Rome wasn’t a place here. “It’s a saying from my world. Rome was a City, and people would say ‘When in Rome, do as Romans do.’

Thought honestly I don’t know how the saying started. Probably someone from England-” I paused when he gave me another look. “That's a country. They used to be one of the biggest, but now it's China. And America, that's the one I’m originally from.”

“There seems to be a lot of different lands in your world.” Solas replied, still staring at me like I was a pig that could fly.

“There’s way more than that, actually. Too many, in my opinion. I think my world is… bigger, than Thedas. Or maybe all of this world just hasn’t been discovered yet.” I sighed in response, closing my eyes and leaning my head against the wall. I wasn’t the expert on land masses, or countries for that matter.  

“Well, I’ve never met anyone named Madison. It's certainly a unique name.” Solas said as he stood up, stretching out his back. “We’ll be waking up soon, it’s nearly morning. We should get a bit more practice in before then.”

“Agreed, and please, I don’t really want to think about my old name. Just Melana, for now.” I replied, bouncing up onto my feet. That was something nice about the fade, you really pop back pretty quick.

“Very well, Melana, pick up your staff and let's continue.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing tooooo exciting happening this week.... Although I kind of had to rush to finish this chapter :P I thought it was done but then I popped it into google docs for final editing and it was like EY THIS SHITS 3K WORDS and i was like oh no. 
> 
> not enough.
> 
> need more.
> 
> and yeah thats exactly how google docs talks in my head.


	10. Gossiping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Highlight word of this chapter: Boner

I woke up sore, as he said I would, but after inspection I had no bruises, so that was good. Everyone else was still asleep, save Solas who was rising next to me. During the night the rest of the elves had shuffled in and taken their own spaces. Apparently Solas had just dropped a blanket on top of me and called it good because I was in the same spot and still wasn’t wearing a shirt.

I dug around for a minute in my bag until I found my sweater, throwing it on. I carefully checked on everything in my bag, mostly my Ipad which I had been a few levels of worried about. I had been avoiding it since I came to Thedas. I had the solar charger so I wasn’t really worried about killing the battery, mostly I didn’t want to get caught using it. Maybe today I would do something with it. If I had a moment alone that is.

Solas was up now, hunched over and angrily holding his face in his hands. He hated mornings, waking up was such an ordeal for him. He didn’t pay much attention to me as I silently rolled my sleeping mat up and tied it back onto my pack. I wanted to be helpful, not like yesterday; today I was going to assist with packing up the camp.

I slipped out of the tent before Solas could stop me, my two Templar guards close behind me as I went. I was amazed to see that they were awake, or even that they were the same ones. Maybe they switched off at night.

I went over to the horse, finding mine right away. It was still fairly early, the morning air bitter and freezing the tips of my ears. I slightly regretted not buying that stupid cowl.

I spent a good few minutes brushing my mount down before moving to the front of the horse. I hadn’t really acquainted myself with him at all, but he seemed a good steed. He huffed in annoyance as I rubbed a hand over his cheek, apparently wanting me to return to brushing.

I went ahead and saddled a few horses before doing my own, I also attached my pack to the back of my saddle, tugging it a few times to make sure it was secure. My Templars just sort of watched the entire time, apparently not willing to help their charge. Barely any time had passed at all, so I stood to the side of my stallion and grabbed some of his hair, pulling it a little until I had three thick strands. I spent a good ten minutes French braiding my horses hair before tying it and stepping back to look at my masterpiece.

I’d never braided horse hair before, let alone French braided it. But it looked damn good. The horse certainly seemed to think so, giving me an approving sort of nod before going back to eating grass.

The camp had gotten a slight bit busier, people were walking around and eating breakfast, Solas had come out and was sitting by the fire, mindlessly chewing on some bread. Varric was the only other person awake that I recognized, and I decided it was his turn to be bothered by me. But that wasn’t Nira’s plan apparently, she practically dove in front of me to drag me away.

“I NEED to talk to you,” she whispered harshly. She had a tight grip on my arm, and if my guards hadn’t seen her with me before then they probably would have yelled at her. But no, I was forced to follow her a few yards off, by some of the carts, so she could talk to me.

“Geez Nir,” I scoffed, shaking her off me. “Whats going on?”

“I SAW you last night, with Serah Solas!” She was smiling like an idiot, whispering to me like it was some kind of secret. “I came into the tent and he was pulling the blanket up over your NAKED body!” She wasn’t whispering anymore, evidently far too excited by the aspect of my getting laid.

“Nira oh my goodness,” I put a hand on her shoulder, trying to calm her down. “We didn’t do anything, I swear.” Her lips pursed, as though I’d just said something horrible. “He gave me a massage! I wasn’t feeling well after riding for two days straight.”

“…” She squinted at me, lips still tightly pressed together.

“Nira, honestly, if Solas was bending me over and fucking me into the dirt you would be the first person I told.” She seemed to like that answer, her face lighting back up. She motioned for me to come sit on one of the carts and I did, the two of us weighing it down just a tad.

“The way he looks at you I’ll be amazed if he isn’t fucking you into the dirt tonight.” She laughed and I giggled along with her. As fun as it was to fantasize about me and Solas doing the nasty, I could still see him out of the corner of my eye, lazily eating a bowl of oats and milk.

The camp had just started to get a bit more busy, people emerging and stretching out, a few soldiers were already breaking down tents. We would be leaving before long. I needed to go help out more.

“Nira I need to go help break down camp,” I said, looking past her as a man spilled his oats into the fire. I also needed to eat. She tugged on my arm, holding me in place.

“No you need to stay here with me, we haven’t gotten to talk since before the uhm…”

“Solas and I are calling it the incident.” I offered, tilting my head and biting the inside of my cheek. “Once we’re in Haven we’ll spend more time together, but I need to be helpful. Why don’t you come with me? We can fold up our tent together?”

She huffed at that, letting go of my arm. “I can’t, I’ve been assigned scouting. I have to run up ahead and report on the road and what not.”

“Then we can’t hang out anyway!” I laughed, “Go; I’ll meet you in Haven. Today’s the last day anyway!”

At that we parted, agreeing to spend more time together once we were back in Haven, though I wasn’t even sure how much free time I would have with Solas making “Commands” of me.

I walked back over to camp and scraped up a bit of food; no one had saved me anything; even my guards grumbled in annoyance that they’d missed the better part of breakfast because of me. I wanted to try and talk to them at some point, I wasn’t really sure how long they would be assigned to me. I figured they would return to normal duties once we were back in Haven, there shouldn’t be any real threat for me there. The soldiers that assaulted me were locked up; technically there wasn’t a threat to me now.

After eating what I could scrounge, I helped with the remainder of the chores. Which was really just putting out the fire and packing up one more tent. I saw Tannis very briefly, but apparently he was going to be in the back of the caravan once again, and Isannan was scouting with Nira. I missed them, I’d grown used to getting up and hanging out with them every day. I made a mental note that I would make time for them in Haven, even if Solas ate up most of my day with training.

Once packed up I made my way back over to my horse, which someone had put flowers into the braids of, daisies to be exact. I admired them, wondering who could have done it, but when no one would step forward and tell me, I decided to assume it was Ervan. He seemed to have a theme going with that particular flower.

We rode again with jokes and banter, we even played I Spy for a while, which again Solas destroyed us at. It was almost irritating how quickly he picked up games. Even a game such as I Spy, which shouldn’t be hard to win at, he was whipping us into submission over.

On a good note, it seemed someone had taken pity on my poor guards and had given them their own mounts. They rode behind me in silence, making it clear that no one would get in between us. It created a sort of bubble for the inner circle; breaking us off from the main group.

I was nervous about being in Haven. Solas and I needed to talk more about what was going to happen, but more than that I was scared of my new duties. What was I to be doing all day? Solas had said he wanted me there with him, and that we would be training… but would he be occupying my days as well as my nights? They would be traveling a lot, and surely I couldn’t travel with them. Solas couldn’t drag me all around Thedas with him; I’d be alone at Haven a lot in the coming months.

Unless of course they decided to send me on my own missions.

“You seem troubled da’len, is something the matter?” Solas’ voice snapped me out of my train of thought. I’d completely zoned out, not entirely on purpose but this was a big deal; going to Haven was something I’d been anticipating for some time.

“I’m fine Solas, I was just thinking about Haven.” I spoke softly, hoping that we were out of earshot from the others. We were riding side by side, with Varric and Ben riding in front of us, and Cassandra just a bit ahead of them. We’d broken off into groups a little bit ago; all of us growing rather bitter from Solas’ proficiency at road games.

“As was I. In fact I was hoping we could discuss a few things about your soon to be living situations.” He didn’t mimic my quiet voice, causing Ben to tilt his head in our direction; obviously listening in. “I assume the Commander will have some sort of plan for you once he finds out about the incident.”

I hadn’t even considered that, Cullen wasn’t exactly Mage Happy- He’d probably insist I be locked up until given the proper training or some nonsense. Worst case he would demand I be made tranquil, though I doubt Ben would allow that.

“I have a cabin, where I am allowed my own space to work.” He started again, still looking at me like this was a private conversation when clearly all were listening in. “there is certainly enough room for two.”

I… had no way to respond. I simply widened my eyes and blinked a few times.This could not be happening.

“If anyone is to teach you healing magic it should certainly be me, and I’d hate to walk down all those stairs to the jail every time I want to teach you something.” He just kept talking, as though I wasn’t very visibly trying to get him to shut up. “I can have another bed put in, there is a room I don’t use, though it is quite small.”

Oh so he was going to shove me in a closet apparently, just so he could train me. Honestly I didn’t see the big deal with my spending some time in a cell, he’d certainly get me out quickly; I wasn’t much use to them locked up.

At this point Ben had twisted his torso back to look at Solas with a crooked smile on his face, ready to voice his opinion. “I don’t have a problem with that, I’d rather have her with you than in a cell.”

It became apparent to me that I didn’t have a say in the matter; though sharing a cabin with Solas didn’t sound like the worst thing in the world it certainly wasn’t the most practical thing. How was I supposed to keep my insane boner for him on the down low if I knew he was sleeping five feet away from me every night?

“Perhaps that isn’t the best idea,” I chirped; I was about to get bulldozed I knew it, but I’d be damned if I didn’t say something against this ludicrous plan.

“Nonsense,” Varric this time, already chuckling, “I think it’s the perfect idea, although Haven might run out of wine if you two spend every night like you did at camp.” He winked at me, fucking winked.

“Then it's settled.” Solas announced, almost proudly and with a curt nod of his head. “When we arrive in Haven I shall have someone to move a bed into my spare room, and perhaps you’d enjoy a desk? I’m sure I can procure you some proper healing books and the like to busy yourself with.”

I wasn’t going to get another word in, they were all planning my new quarters now. Varric suggested some quills he’d seen at the shop so I could write letters when they were away, and of course his own books. Ben volunteered to help me carve my own staff; which honestly sounded like a lot of fun from the way he described it. Solas had some ideas on re-decorating to suit the two of us in the small space, perhaps a bookshelf and some new rugs for meditation.

We still had an hour of riding and I was beyond bored listening to them talk about how fun it was going to be for me to live with Solas. I made a decision. I twisted around and pawed at my backpack until I gripped the zipper. I very carefully pulled it around and reached inside. I fished for a minute until I felt the familiar texture of my Ipad’s rubber casing. I very carefully drew the device out, setting it on my lap and then zipping the bag back up.

I was trying to be discreet; surely no one would understand what the Ipad was. I silently wished I’d had my Iphone, that would have been a lot easier to hide.

I unwrapped the white headphones and pushed them up my sweater, pulling them out of the neck and then tucking the safely into my ears. The headphones were entirely hidden save the end of them which jutted out and jammed into my Ipad. Very quickly I unlocked it and hit the favorites playlist. Hello by Adelle started right up, and I turned around just enough to violently cram my Ipad back into my pack.

I did a quick once around to make sure no one had seen me, and much to my luck everyone was occupied with their own conversations.

The last hour of the trip I was graced with the ability to completely tune out my friends. My music was loud enough that I couldn’t hear their conversation, but quiet enough that they couldn’t hear the music themselves.

The trip was amazing after that. I got to enjoy looking at the scenery while listening to the actual dragon age soundtrack… with a few top 40 songs that would pop up. It was heavily snowing and it had started to cover the roads, causing the horses to grow weary; there was no more green, save a few under shots of the pine trees. There were mountains all around us, and it only seemed to remind me of the battles yet to come. How the Red Templars practically poured out of the mountain side.

We turned a corner and over my music I heard Solas say my name. I reached up and pulled out an earbud, looking to him.

“We’re almost there,” He said, nodding towards the front of the caravan, or Cassandra as I like to call her. I looked past her and saw what he meant. The gate to Haven was just a few yards away, but more than that I could see the encampment outside. Tents lined the walls, soldiers paused at the sight of us, and the Commander stood, waving, with his other hand on the pommel of his sword.

I scanned the crowd until my eyes fell on Nira, who was practically bouncing while waving at us like a mad woman with Isannan at her side. I imagined she wouldn’t be over pleased with me staying in a cozy cabin while she bunked it up with Templars.

We dismounted in front of the gates, taking our bags off and then letting some stable hands take our horses, I doubted I would ever see my horse again, so I admired my braid job one last time before letting him go, I plucked out one of the daisies and tucked it behind my ear. Later I would press it into my sketchbook, and make a note of where it came from.

I had just put my backpack on when The Commander appeared, shaking hands with Ben. He didn’t even look at me.

“You’ve brought in a hefty amount of troops.” Cullen said as the two of them started walking inside Haven. I released a breath I didn’t know I’d been holding; I hadn’t even realized I was so terrified of Cullen. He wasn’t an inherently scary man, but he could certainly use that sword he was holding so tightly. Poor guy.

Haven smelled rustic, like hard working people and freshly cut wood. My near bare feet were burning against the snow and I briefly remembered Nira telling me the foot wraps could be enchanted. I shot a glance to Solas, who was a few feet away talking to a requisition officer; probably about a bed for me. I looked back down to my feet and wiggled my toes in the snow. It didn’t… hurt, as I’d known snow to do against raw skin; but just sort of stung.

I adjusted the pack on my back before taking my first steps into Haven. I walked up the first stairs, practically ran up them actually, my breath hot in the frozen afternoon air. I knew I was smiling but I didn’t much care. I was greeted by those two giant Mabari statues that I’d near forgot existed. I continued on, making my way up to the chantry. I was surprised to see Cullen arguing with that… guy. I forgot his name, he was a… Well Cassandra called him a glorified clerk at one point?

…. Chancellor Roderick! I almost shouted my realization out loud, but thankfully I didn’t, that would have certainly made me look like a fool.

I snuck passed that mess, I didn’t really need to listen to it.

I walked down the stairs towards the tavern and bumped back in to Solas.

“I was wondering where you wandered off to.” He was wearing his pack as well, which was an interesting sight. I never really saw him wearing it on the road, it was either on his mount or he was carrying it with a hand.

“I just saw you a minute ago, I wanted to explore.” I said with a giant smile. He only hummed in response and then extended his hand up the path to a group of cabins. It was the area he always stood around in game, it kind of made sense that that’s where he lived.

I nodded, the smile still very present, and the two of us began walking up the trail.

“I expected you to already know the area,” He replied, a bit quietly.

“I do, but it's different in little ways. They never get too deep into exactly how big everything is and what not.” I followed behind him as he walked up to the cabin on the right. It was a little hard to believe he had a cabin all to himself after seeing all the tents outside and in. He waved his hand in front the door knob and it clicked open, the door itself sliding slowly inwards.

I guess I was kind of staring because Solas was raising a brow at me. “In time you’ll learn how to do things as simple as this.”

“You could never do that in the books,” I whispered, following in after him.

He dropped his bag on the ground next to the door and I mimicked him, though I sat mine down far gentler. My headphones were still wrapped up inside my sweater, and reminded me that by rather violently tugging on my head. I popped them out and quickly tucked them into my bag.

I looked around the cabin now that I was situated. There was a fire place at the far wall, and Solas’ bed sat just a bit away from that to the right. To the left was a table, with a single chair at it, resting against a wall that separated this room from the other. There were other things in the room, a desk at the end of his bed with scattered papers and books on it, a few high up shelves with potions or herbs hanging from them. There was even a couple of extra staffs leaning against the near wall, and a dresser where I assumed he kept extra clothes.

I caught myself stuck in the doorway and stepped further inside, closing the door behind me. Solas was knelt in front of the fireplace, throwing a few logs in. For the first time I realized it was freezing. I hugged myself to stop the sudden shivers, my teeth chattering.

“Are you cold?” Solas asked, not looking back at me. I almost rolled my eyes; no of course I wasn’t cold, I was just clacking my teeth together and shaking because it was fun.

“Freezing,” was the reply I used instead of being snarky. I rubbed my hands together and breathed into them, making my way over to Solas by the fireplace. For some reason he wasn’t starting the fire. I sat down next to him. “what are you waiting for?”

“This is your first lesson.” He said, leaning back on his heels. “Start the fire.”

“Solas my toes are going to fall off, can’t we train tomorrow?” I whined, pulling my knees to my chest.

“Start the fire.” Was his only response.

I huffed in annoyance and scrunched up my nose, wiggling it back and forth before moving closer to the stone fireplace. I had only made flames the one time, and it had been… disastrous to say the least. He hadn’t taught me anything about magic or how to create anything, all we’d done was whack each other rather harshly with huge sticks while we were sleeping.

He didn’t say a word as I extended a hand to the fireless wood. I closed my eyes and tried to focus. But nothing happened. I groaned in annoyance and turned to him. “I can’t do this, I don’t even know what I’m doing.”

“You just need to think fire; will it to burn and the magic will do the rest.” He spoke evenly; teaching was second nature to him.

I tried again, taking a deep breath in, and out. I extended my hand, this time watching the wood. I repeated it in my mind over and over again: _Burn, Burn, Burn_. But the fire didn’t start. At that I got irritated, I tensed my fingers as though I was holding something, like it was heavy and required all of my concentration… and then I released.

The fire went up with a FWOOM. I practically sung out in happiness, but then the fire wasn’t stopping.

“Solas!” I squeaked as we both scrambled back, the flames stretching out of the hearth and trying to grab onto us. I bent over to try and hide out of reflex, tucking my face into his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around me, shielding me before quickly waving a hand out, forcing the fire to crackle into submission.

“It's okay Melana, you did well for your first real attempt.” He chuckled, his now free hand resting on the back of my head and patting it. Realizing exactly what position I was in, with my head nuzzled into his sweater, breathing in his scent, with him practically hugging me there, I slid back. His hand moving from my head to rest on my cheek and his other sliding onto my shoulder to keep me there. “Next time we’ll practice in a less enclosed environment.”

He drew a circle on my cheek and it instantly warmed; this time I was able to identify the magic, the flow of energy into my body and feeding into my own power. It was invigorating. There was a small space of time where I wasn’t sure which heartbeat I was hearing was mine, before he pulled his hand away and all I could feel was the heat emanating from the crackling fire next to me.

“And perhaps we should start with something a tad less hot.” He added punctuating his sentence by locking eyes with me, causing my cheeks to burn a dark shade of red. He was impossibly close, heat radiating off of him, his eyes still holding mine. I swallowed. We’d been rather affectionate with one another, but that’s just the kind of person I am, I’ve always been a very physical friend, but this was… different.

“Yes, ice magic next time maybe, or… ah…” I shot a glance down to his lips; pink and begging to be kissed. “Lightning.” I swallowed again.

“Maybe healing,” He hummed; it seemed almost like he was getting closer, or maybe that was just my hopeful mind. “You are supposed to heal people at some point.”

I caught him glancing down as well, to my lips and passed, before his eyes snapped back up. He was most certainly moving closer.

“Sounds like a plan,”

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHAH
> 
> Sorry this is a little late in the day, honestly I meant to finish editing this morning but I ended up sleeping waaaay in and then... playing... stardew valley.... ;A; forgive me...
> 
> ANyWaY IS thAT a ClifHANger I SMell?! hehe. love you guys <3 see you next friday! 
> 
> (Also if you guys watch game of thrones, holy hell who is ready for sunday!? fuck yeah)


	11. Guarding

There was a knock on the door and Solas jolted back from me. He blinked a few times, almost scowling before jumping up, leaving me flustered and a little warmer than I wanted to be. I was hoping he taught me battle magic soon so I could start murdering the fuck out of people who kept interrupting us. Not that anything was going to happen of course, it was Solas, and I was me. I just needed to keep it in my god damned pants for five fucking minutes.

I decided this was the time to explore a little, to distract myself. I got up and walked over to what was supposed to be my new room. It was bigger than I expected it to be, from the outside it looked like a tiny closet, but inside it was large enough for a bed and maybe a dresser. Like a full walk in closet. He was currently keeping one of those fade enhancing things inside of it, just shoved into the corner surrounded by some sweaters. 

I tried not to think about how cozy it would be to cuddle up into one of those sweaters, or to cuddle up to him, or to do something more than cuddling. Okay I obviously couldn’t keep it in my pants.

I closed the closet door, almost slammed it actually, and turned back around in time to see Solas guiding two men carrying a twin sized bed. They awkwardly brought it in, wiggling it through the front door with great difficulty until getting it through. 

“Right there is fine, we can handle it from here.” He said to the men, who promptly put it down practically still in the entrance and then shuffled out. 

It looked like a decent enough bed, certainly something I could sleep on for the coming months. Or weeks. I wasn’t sure exactly how long I was going to be here. 

“It looks cozy.” I said as Solas shut the door. “How are we going to get it in the closet?”

“Its not a closet,” Solas snapped back, “and WE aren’t going to do anything,” 

He walked passed me and into the closet, which was still a closet no matter how much he protested, and when he reemerged he was holding the strange orb and the few clothes he’d kept in there. He dropped them on his bed and then walked back over to mine. I felt kind of useless, just standing there watching him do things. But I had nothing to do except watch at this point.

He put his hand to the bed, glancing to the closet/room one more time, before pushing down onto it. He and the bed disappeared in a flash of green, and out of the corner of my eye I saw them both reappear in the closet with the same flash. 

He… fade stepped with it?

“Will I learn to do that in time?” I chirped as he stepped out of the closet. He smirked but didn’t answer, only motioned for me to come see. The bed was pressed against the far wall, leaving very little space for me to do much else with the room. That wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, seeing as we wouldn’t be at Haven permanently. 

I moved passed him and into the small room, planting my ass firmly on the bed. I bounced a little before smiling up at him. “I like it.”

“It will do for now, I admit it is… a rather small space.” He tucked his hands behind his back and looked around the room, quiet for a minute before continuing. “The Herald has requested my presence in the War Room, I’m sure you’d like some time to settle. There is a bathhouse in the lower camp if you need to clean up.” 

“Thank you, I should probably go find Nira before she storms in here and drags me out by my ears.” I had meant to find her before even coming up to the cabin, but I’d gotten a little side tracked. I dared a look up at his lips before standing back up. I didn’t need to be thinking about kissing him, not after earlier. 

“I’ll be back later tonight, I imagine the recruits will be down at the tavern if anywhere.” He replied, making his way to the door. I jumped out of the closet and out into the main room, following him. “I assume you know where that is.”

I nodded, though if I was going to be going down to the tavern I was going to either steal some of Solas’ wrappings or put on my old shoes, I refused to walk back out into the snow without proper foot protection.

Solas opened the door and the breath of cold air that washed in made us both shudder. Yeah, definitely not going out there without better shoes on. He gave me one more look, as though leaving me alone would cause me to get into some kind of trouble, and then walked out, closing the door behind him. Leaving me alone in his private space. 

I was certain that anything I tried to sneak into would be covered in wards and I would inevitably be punished in some way for snooping, but I couldn’t help myself. At the very least I needed to find enchanted foot wraps, which I was certain he had. 

His dresser, which sat just next to his bed, had four different drawers, the first held an assortment of tunics and baggy shirts. The second was trousers, which quite frankly he had too many of considering they were all the exact same. The third drawer was the jackpot, at least ten neatly folded foot wraps which were practically glowing. They were all thicker and longer than the ones Nira had given me, and caused a bit of stress to get on. They ended up wrapping all the way to the tops of my thighs, which while keeping my legs warm; were a little uncomfortable. 

I closed the drawer and was about to leave when I realized that there was one drawer left. I bit my bottom lip and glanced around, as though anyone was in there with me. 

I opened the drawer. 

There, tucked tightly in a row were Solas’ brown and green smalls. Or underwear as I knew them. I just sort of stared for a minute before closing the drawer. I was definitely getting in trouble for that later, but for now it was most certainly worth it. 

Satisfied with my snooping I headed out, closing the door carefully behind me. I wasn’t sure if I was meant to lock it, but he hadn’t given me a key or taught me that nifty little spell yet, so I left it unlocked. 

The foot wraps were amazing against the snow, completely shielding my toes from any form of cold. In fact they may have been better than normal shoes. They were also considerably nicer than the ones I’d gotten, the leather thicker and a finer quality, they seemed almost brand new. Though the gear upgrade didn’t do much for my upper body. My torso was fine, mind you, it was my face that took the brunt of the cold wind. My ears near freezing the instant I stepped outside. 

I pulled the collar of my sweater up over my nose and hurried down to the tavern. It wasn’t far, only like fifteen feet away, and I could hear the noise of it from the cabins, but I was freezing and wanted to be in there as soon as possible.

I stepped inside and the heat wafted over my face, defrosting and welcoming me into the large room that currently felt small with all the soldiers crammed in it. It seemed everyone from the caravan had clustered together in the tavern, which all in all kind of made sense because where else do you go after walking for days on end? The place where you can get booze of course!

I found Nira waving at me from across the room at a table with Isannan and Tannis, who were sitting inconspicuously close together. It baffled me that Nira didn’t know, they certainly didn’t hide it well. 

I made my way through the crowd, trying to avoid any actual contact with the men that were clearly drunker than they should’ve been. I popped out of the horde and Nira immediately grabbed my arm and pulled me into the chair next to her.

“You promised we would spend time together the moment we were in Haven!” Nira whined as I settled in my seat. Isannan passed me a jug of what I assumed was beer, winking at me.

“I said I would make time for you once we were here,” I replied, looking down into the bubbling drink. “And I am, here we are, spending time together.”  
“Well at least you’ll be sleeping with us again just the four of us, it was far too crowded before.” Tannis said as I brought the mug up to my lips, tilting it slightly back. I didn’t reply, just sort of looked between them as I drank. The pause in conversation got me a few weird looks from the group. 

“You are… staying with us, right?” Nira asked, setting her own drink down to focus entirely on me. 

I sunk in my seat, using my cup to hide my face.

“Melana!” Nira snapped, banging the table with her fist. I put my drink down and slumped more, hanging my head back. I knew I would have to tell her, she’d figure it out on her own if I didn’t, but I wasn’t excited for the rumors that would spread over this. 

“No! I’m staying with Solas!” I whined, “But that doesn’t mean we can’t hang out!”

Nira’s eyes went wide, her mouth opened slightly and then spun upwards in a giant smile. I rushed to stop her excitement but she was standing up and grabbing my arms, shaking me. 

“You’re sleeping with Solas?!” She screeched, and the entire bar went quiet save a cup hitting the ground. She held me there, waiting for my answer, and the room was silent, drawing the moment out longer than it needed to be. 

“N-no?” I stuttered, the flush on my face reaching up to my ears. “I’m only staying in the same cabin!” I continued when she started shaking me again. She released me but her smile stayed persistent as she sat back down, and the noise of the tavern quickly picked back up. It seemed no one but Nira wanted to focus on my new accommodations, because Tannis and Isannan started their own private conversation, leaving me to the wrath of my best friend.

“You’re sleeping with him.” She said flatly, her torso turned to me. I laid my face on the table, groaning and bringing my drink closer to my face. She wasn’t going to let this go.

“He thought it would be a good idea to keep me near him so he could train me properly himself. Nothing has happened between us,” I said it but didn’t believe it, hiding my face from her with my cup. I needed to sit back up so I could actually start drinking it, I needed to be less sober and soon. 

“Oh please, no man has a live in apprentice without the intention of fucking her.” She replied, “Besides, I can see that blush on your ears no matter how hard to try and hide it, you like him Mel.” She pinched the tip of my ear and I tried to swat her away.

I groaned again, rolling my head away from her, hopefully hiding my ears. “Even if I did hold some kind of affection for him, he wouldn’t notice it, or me. We’ve got jobs to do, we aren’t here to… hook up.” 

“That’s exactly why we’re here.“ She punched me in the side and I almost fell out of my chair, scrambling to sit back up and rub where she’d hit before it bruised. I grabbed my mug and chugged the rest of my ale, slamming it back on the table.

“No, we’re not Nira.” I scowled down at the wooden cylinder in my hand, gripping it tighter than necessary. I looked over to her, my glare harsh on her chocolate eyes. “We’re here to work, to better Thedas and deal with the giant hole in the sky. I didn’t join to chase after Solas’ ass.” 

“Hey I get it, you don’t need to do… whatever you just did to that cup.” She held her hands up in defense and I looked down to the thing that had once held my drink. It had molded around my arm, the wood twisting up like vines around my fingers and swirling around my wrist. I tried to shake it off but it remained, unmoving. 

“Shit,” I sighed, letting my arm thump onto the table. “I guess I’ll have to explain this to Solas.”

“Eh, probably not, let me see it.” Tannis said from across the table, the two men had been completely out of our conversation, I’d almost forgotten they were there. I held my arm out to him and he grabbed it, turning it around and tracing his fingers over the vines. He closed his eyes for a minute before the wood started retracting. 

“There, see, nothing to worry about.” He smirked up and me, but he spoke too soon, the second the wood had reached down to my wrist it shot back up, climbing up my arm like a snake on a tree branch. “Shit, shit!” Tannis yelped, trying to pull it off, but that only made it twist harder. 

“Tannis stop!” I screeched, fumbling backwards from the table, my chair clacking on the ground. With his hands gone from the vine, it ceased all movement. I huffed a breath of irritation, pursing my brow and looking up at my friends. “Fuck I’m sorry guys… it's not… I’m not good with this stuff yet.” I sighed.

I picked my chair back up and pushed it in. “I’m gonna turn in. Sorry, I’ll… I’ll see you guys around tomorrow.” I hurried out of the tavern before they could stop me, I’d never been more embarrassed, or frustrated. I thought magic was going to be easy, something that would just click with me. This wasn’t what I wanted. I clutched my arm to my side, the wood digging into my skin. I hadn’t even meant to make the damn thing, I just wanted Nira to stop talking about Solas.

I just wanted to hang out with my friends. 

Feeling defeated, and irritated, I trudged back to the cabin. I’d only been gone a whole of twenty minutes, so I knew Solas wouldn’t be back yet. I opened the cabin door and was greeted by the smell of my new roommate. I would have to get used to that; smelling him all the time. Eventually I was going to smell like him, or he like me. 

 

I picked up my backpack and dragged it into my small room, immediately falling down onto my bed and kicking the door closed. 

I laid there for a few minutes before reaching down into my pack and digging around. It was somewhere near the bottom- there it was.

I pulled out my Ipad and rolled onto my side, unlocking it. My apps popped up and I stared at one of them with my lips pursed. I wouldn’t have wifi out here, I’d probably never have wifi again. I took a deep breath, held it, and then groaned out a sigh. I deleted all my wifi reliant apps. 

“Goodbye Clash of clans, I barely ever played you but you were very satisfying when I did. Goodbye tumblr… I’ll miss you the most.” I said goodbye to them all, the hardest of all being Skype. I’d never be able to talk to any of my internet friends. Would they notice I was gone? Would they think something horrible happened to me? I hit the little red X and moved on. 

Once all of the wifi apps were gone I was left with very little. Fallout Shelter, Neko Atsume, Jelly Splash, Cut the rope… actually there were quite a few. But none of them were miitomo. There was a tightness at my arm to remind me of my accidental magic and I glared down at the wooden attachment. It only hurt when I resisted it, like one of those finger traps you get as party favors or at the dollar store. 

I relaxed my right arm and rolled onto my stomach, propping the Ipad up on my pillow. I had a few movies downloaded, Strange Magic, UP, Inside out; mostly animated movies. I wanted to watch youtube but obviously that wasn’t an option. I opened the videos app and turned on Strange Magic, crossing my arms under my chin to get comfy. 

It was one of my favorite movies, though I’d fallen out of the fandom a long time ago, I still watched it next to constantly. I fell asleep somewhere in the middle, and dreamt very briefly of fairies and vines. 

When I woke up the Ipad had locked itself, and I could hear movement from the other room. 

I sat up and went to rub my eye, but the sight of my hand completely covered in wood made me decide against that. I cursed at the thing, it had spread again in my sleep, covering my entire hand in strange patterns and intricate little details. I threw my legs over the side of the bed and cracked my neck. Solas would know how to get it off. 

I stood up, my joints popping in protest, and then walked out of my room. Solas was sitting- shirtless- on his bed, one of his legs propped up on the other, staring down at a book. He was practically hunched over it, his brow furrowed and his chin in his hand. I scowled over at him, why was he always shirtless? Didn’t he know it was polite to wear shirts?

“Good book?” I asked, tucking my arms behind my back.

He jumped, the book in question flying out of his hand and tumbling to the ground. I suppressed a chuckle. “Sorry,” I managed, leaning down and picking up his book with my left hand, careful to keep my other one hidden. I didn’t want him freaking out quite yet. I caught a quick glance at the cover “Hard in Hightown: Chapter 1” and almost broke out into hysterical laughter but I swallowed it. I didn’t need to tease him on his choice of literature. 

“I didn’t know you were in, I thought you’d be down at the Tavern most of the night.” He said, taking the book and closing it, he sat it on his dresser before looking back to me. 

“That makes two of us, I didn’t mean to come back so early but… what can you do.” I lowered myself onto the floor, crossing my legs and looking up at him. “How was the war room.”

He rolled his eyes and scowled. 

“Oh so you had a good time?”

“Quite the opposite, it seems I was correct in my fear about the Commander, he wanted you in the dungeon until you could properly handle yourself,” the wooden gauntlet around my arm tightened as if to remind me I couldn’t handle myself. “Luckily The Herlad and I argued in your favor… But that’s not what bothered me the most.”

“Oh?” I asked, trying to get my damn magic under control without having him notice. 

“Apparently we are going to Orlais in three days, which gives me no where near the amount of time I need to get you to a point where I’ll be comfortable leaving you alone and what on earth are you hiding from me Melana?” His quick switch caught me off guard and my eyes flew open. 

“What? Nothing!” I snapped back, twisting my arm further behind me, only to wince when the wooden glove tightened in reply to my movement. 

He made a “tsk” sound and grabbed my shoulder, spinning me around to reveal exactly what I’d hidden. “What on- Melana!” He shouted, grabbing at my arm, which only caused me further pain. He quickly released it. 

“I was going to tell you!” I pleaded as he shot up, pacing back and forth. “It happened at the tavern earlier, I got angry and-and when I looked down my cup had turned into-” I held my hand up “-this!” 

“You should have come found me right away,” he said, the beginning of what I’m sure was going to be a very fun lecture. He sat down on the floor next to me and I turned to him. “This is very dangerous magic, you shouldn’t be able to do something like this.” 

“I’m sorry, I honestly didn’t want to bother you with it… Tannis thought he could get rid of it but he just made it worse.” I sighed, looking down at my arm. 

“Of course he did, this isn’t a simple armor or protection spell.” He took my arm in his hand and it dug deeper into my skin, I winced and he let go. “Dammit Melana… this is a spirit.”

“What?” I scoffed, “I didn’t summon a spirit!” 

“You did indeed you foolish girl! You’re lucky you didn’t twist its purpose!” He sighed again, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You summoned a Guardian Spirit, they’re… rare and annoying to deal with. They don’t like to let go of contracts once they’ve made them.”

“If it’s a guardian spirit why is it hurting me!?” I yelped, throwing my unattached arm up into the air in irritation. He only shook his head and ran a gentle hand over the wood of my wrist, I’d expected the spirit to react negatively again and hurt me, but it seemed placid with Solas’ softer touch.

“I believe it's in self defense, it may be fearful you’ll break the contract, as you attempted when Tannis tried to get rid of it. You might be stuck with it.” He said, tracing the patterns of the wood with his index finger. It had completely covered my arm from fingertips to shoulder and was growing still. “You need to speak with the spirit, convince it to leave or at least… condense its physical form.” 

“Condense its physical form?” as soon as I’d said it out loud the spirit stopped spreading, Solas and I exchanged a look before gazing down at the wood. It peeled back from my arm, rolling and falling until all that was left was a sort of glove over my hand. 

“Ah- I’d like to have my hand, uhm, please?” I asked softly and the response was instant, the glove slipped away and the wood traveled up my arm, spiraling and creating a swirling ornament from my elbow to my shoulder. “Th-thank you?” 

Solas and I sat there, staring at the snake like sleeve that could apparently hear and understand me. It wasn’t… unattractive. In fact it was rather pretty, now that I took the time to appreciate it. It probably wouldn’t be the worst thing to have a guardian spirit on my arm. Certainly better than having a spirit of justice inside my body. 

“It seems the spirit can hear you just fine.” Solas said, he was quiet for another beat, eyeing my new arm piece, before continuing, “This may actually be beneficial for you, a spirit like this can easily protect you where I cannot.”

“I don’t need anyone to protect me,” I huffed and the spirit, whom I was now going to be referring to as Guardian, tightened its grip on me before relaxing again. It seemed he, or… she, or they? Was going to be a new constant in my conversations. 

“You most certainly do, at least until you have a handle on your abilities.” Solas stood up, walking over to the fire and tossing a log in. I was starting to get hungry, we hadn’t eaten since breakfast, and all I’d had since then was ale. Which was probably the reason I’d fallen asleep so quickly. I did chug it. 

I realized I was probably meant to eat at the tavern, Solas had probably already had dinner with the inner circle… He turned around and looked at me. 

“Are you hungry?” I asked, staring up at him. It didn’t hurt to ask at the very least, and even if he wasn’t I could still go get myself something. He tilted his head slightly to the side, raising a brow. “…What?” I asked.

“I was simply wondering if you could read my mind,” He chuckled, extending a hand to me. I took it, pulling myself up with his weight. “I was just thinking I should’ve eaten before returning to the cabin.” 

“Solas if I could read your mind then I would be far more annoying than I already am.” I smirked up at him and he laughed again, I swear I’d heard him laugh more in the last few days than in any of the game play combined. 

“You can be more annoying?” he scoffed, gaining a smack in the side from me. “I’ll go get something, I imagine you’re not eager to return to the tavern after tonight’s events.” I quickly agreed with him.

He went down and reappeared a few moments later with a platter of food. Two plates and two cups rested atop it, with what I assume was chicken and potatoes. I cleared off the small table, pushing his books to the side to make room for our dinner. He sat the platter down in the center of it, then slid down into his chair. 

At some point while I was asleep he had brought in a second chair at the small table, I assumed for me. I sat down next across from him and took a plate and a cup from the platter. He did the same. He handed me a spoon from one of the pouches on his belt, and pulled one out for himself as well. 

“I assume you don’t have one,” He said as he started eating. Talking to Solas over food once again, I thought, this is seriously becoming a pattern. 

“Honestly the thought hadn’t occurred to me that I should carry spoons around.” I snorted, turning the spoon over in my hand. It was simple and wooden, I wondered how many times it had been in Solas’ mouth. I swallowed that thought along with a bite of some very chewy mashed potatoes. Oh this wouldn’t do, someone was going to have to teach these fools how to make quality potatoes 

“You’re scowling at your food Melana,” Solas chuckled, not even looking up from his plate. 

“Sorry, its good, it’s just… I’m used to a standard with potatoes.” I sighed, putting my spoon down and picking up my drink instead. It wasn’t ale, just water, and I thanked the gods for that. I was going to be taking a long break from drinking. Probably. Maybe. 

“I will admit they aren’t what I’m used to as well.” He replied, though he kept eating. 

“You need to put milk and butter in them, and maybe an egg. Some chives, salt and pepper it… and you’ve got to make sure you get all the lumps out.” I spoke into my cup, creating a sort of echo before taking a swig of my drink. 

“I’m sorry an egg? In potatoes?” Solas scoffed, finally looking up at me. 

“Don’t bash it till you try it,” I replied, pointing my spoon at him. I took another bite of the potatoes regardless, I wouldn’t let them go to waste. “But enough about my standards of potato, tell me about yours.”

That got a sigh out of him. He slumped in his chair a bit, looking at the ceiling. 

“We don’t have enough time in the world to talk about my standards.”

“Solas, stop evading it, the entire reason I came to Haven, and am currently living with you, is so that you can talk to me. I’m supposed to be your stress release, remember?” I put my plate aside, hungry as I was, getting info about the old version of Thedas was far more interesting. 

He was quiet for a minute, contemplating exactly what he should say. 

“I miss it.” He started, speaking quietly, slowly. “This world is… it’s strange. Filled with chaos and disorder. Elves are treated like rats in the gutter and worship whispers. It feels odd to talk about it, to even consider that this is how it is because of… because of my actions.”

“Solas…” I reached across the table, placing a hand on his arm. “It’s not your fault that humans enslaved elves,”

He jerked his arm away from me and stood up, pacing. 

“Of course it’s my fault!” He practically yelled it, Guardian tensed on my arm. “If I’d not sealed them away then we could have protected the elves.”

“With what?” I countered, jumping out of my seat to stand in front of him. Apparently this was going to be a whole argument. “a different kind of enslavement?” 

“What? No- I’d never-” 

“You’d never, of course you’d never, but what about the rest of them? Falon’din, Andruil, all of them had slaves Solas! They all believed that certain elves were born below them.” He turned to me, his rage apparent, his scowl deep. Guardian swirled down to my fist as it balled up, ready to strike. 

“How could you know!? You weren’t there! I could have done more, something, I shouldn’t have taken the actions that I did, I shouldn’t have created the veil!” He snapped, stepping towards me. At this angle he toward over me, I’d never really noticed before how much taller than me he was. I wasn’t exactly short, but nor was I tall. 

“I don’t need to have been there Solas, I know you, I know how the world is, and like it or not I know that its not your fault! The world isn’t broken because of you, the world is just broken. We can’t focus on the fact that we can’t change what you did, but we can focus on changing how things are.” I reached out again, my hand shaking as I gripped his. I’d not seen him so tense, his arms at his sides, clenched fists loosening to embrace my touch. Fresh tears burned my cheeks as they fell and I saw him falter.

He closed his eyes, taking a breath.

“You’re… you’re probably right. I shouldn’t… dwell on the past so much.” His fingers twined into mine, tightening around my hand. Luckily I’d reached out with my left, so Guardian, whom was still very irritated with Solas’ tone, wouldn’t hurt him. “We should be working together to fix the rift, not… bicker about what I should or shouldn’t have done.”

“Solas… I don’t… I don’t want every conversation about your past to go this way. Let’s-let’s promise not to argue, about this at least. I want to learn about Arlathan without you talking about your regrets or mistakes.” I squeezed his hand and he returned it. I was trying to look into his eyes, but he refused to look up from the ground. 

“…Very well. I will… attempt to avoid topics such as those.” 

“Solas, promise me, I,” I hiccupped as the tears started again. I’d never liked yelling, I’d hated arguing my entire life. “I don’t like being yelled at.” It was a bit more honest and raw than I intended. But it seemed to take its effect. I was sobbing like a mess now and Solas was pulling me against him, a hand to the small of my back, drawing small circles with his thumb into the palm of my hand in his. 

I buried my face into his chest as he spoke.

“I promise I won’t yell at you again.” after a moment, and after my sobs had subsided he quietly added; “I’m sorry”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boom! Chapter! Totally didn't JUST finish writing this! Ahaha...
> 
> Next time: actual interactions with characters that aren't Solas?
> 
> Probably not.


	12. Running

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOW WITH EDITED WORDS

I woke in the morning a far bit more content than I had in a while. I could comfortably stretch out my legs and arms without punching anyone, and for once I didn’t have to get up to break down or set up a camp. That being said I couldn’t exactly sleep in either. 

Solas and I hadn’t talked much after our argument, we’d finished dinner and I’d slipped back into my room, though a few moments later he had knocked on the door to inform me we would be training quite early. 

I don’t know exactly what constitutes as “quite early”, but from the thin rays of sun slipping into my room, I’d guess it was time. I rolled over, pulling the covers up to block out the light. I was awake now, and Solas probably knew it. We’d not seen each other in the fade, in fact I think he was avoiding me. I felt… dirty, almost, about last night. Crying and making him promise not to yell at me anymore was borderline manipulative… I needed to apologize to him about it at some point. So I guess I’d avoided him too.

I’d spent the entire night getting to know guardian. 

In the fade he’d been dressed similarly to a knight, full armor, bowing to me when I entered, a deep gravely voice calling me “My Lady,” and all that. He’d been extremely polite, and kind, but when I mentioned breaking the contract he got angry with me. Saying that if I didn’t want him I shouldn’t have bound myself to him, all sorts of nonsense that I didn’t even know I’d done. So apparently Solas was right, I was stuck with him. 

On a plus side, he told me no demons would come anywhere near me with him around. At least, not in the fade. 

I felt him tense on my arm under the covers at the feint sound of knocking. I rolled over to try and listen in as Solas shuffled from one end of his room to the other, creaking the front door open. 

“Where is she?” Cullen’s voice, loud and booming through the entire house. He’d come looking for me? Why? Solas told me that they’d agreed to keeping me with him… hadn’t they? 

“She is asleep Commander, would you like me to wake her?” he replied, Guardian was throwing a hissy fit on my arm, swirling around and spiking out like he could reach them from here. I put my other hand over him and told him to shush, I couldn’t exactly snoop when he was poking holes in my mattress. 

“…No,” Cullen replied. “But I expect you to bring her down to the training yard once she’s awake.” Fucking great. Apparently I wasn’t going to be able to avoid Cullen entirely, though that had been my main plan. Solas made the sound of a response and then closed the door. He didn’t move for a few minutes, and I refused to get up. 

I was perfectly comfortable, why should I have to move just because the Commander of the Inquisition… commanded… it…. Fuck. 

I let out a long, angry groan before kicking the blankets off. I threw my legs over the side of the bed and leaned down, rubbing my face in my hands. My eyes were swollen with sleep, and my teeth desperately needed to be brushed. I blinked heavily a few times, scratching my head. I needed a shower, or a bath. My hair was greasy with the sweat of the last few days, and I could feel the fungus starting to grow between my toes. 

I slid down onto the floor and pulled my pack over, rummaging around until I pulled out my tank top and yoga pants. Good enough for a run to the bath house, I think Solas had mentioned it at dinner yesterday, down by the gate maybe? I looked at my conditioner and shampoo. I had to make them last, I couldn’t go using them constantly until I had a good replacement. 

I quickly got dressed, deciding to just wear my sports bra and not my laced one as well. I imagine I’d get some looks from the other lady’s in the bathhouse if I was wearing such an intricate item. 

I creaked the door open to find Solas still standing at the front of the cabin, eying me. 

“I imagine you heard that.” He sighed, wringing his hands together. “I’m sorry if we woke you.”

“I was already awake, I’ll… I’ll go down to see him after I bathe.” I closed my bedroom door behind me, smiling over at him, “Down by the gate, right?” 

“Yes. I should… I’ll be down at the yard to assist with your training.” He moved away from the door and walked over to his desk, picking up a book and opening it. Apparently that was to be the end of our conversation. I imagined he was still upset with me, hell I was still upset with me. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did during our conversation. Though I can’t imagine there was a different way to react. 

I went to say something, but then decided against it. Nothing I could say right now would make this situation any less awkward. Instead, I opened the front door and headed down to get clean.

 

The bath house in question was little more than a hot tub in a small room with far too many women in it. I was quickly in and out, stealing a bit of someone’s soap when their back was turned. I got a few sideways glances from some human women, it did seem like I was the only elf in there. So I tried to go fast. 

My hair still wet, and my skin still damp, I hurried out, rushing back up to the cabin to change into a tunic and foot wraps, making sure to double up on bras. I tied my hair up into a bun and then made my way down to the training yard. 

I got a few weird looks from all of the soldiers as I sauntered right up to Cullen and cleared my throat. He turned and looked down at me, why on earth was everyone in Thedas so much taller than me? I might as well have been a tall dwarf compared to all these people. 

“Ah, you’re her then?” He looked past me, to his clip board in his hand, writing something down before handing it to the scout next to him. 

“Yes Ser, Solas said you wanted to see me?” My voice squeaked a little louder than I intended, but I kept my posture strong, back straight and head held high. I was absolutely terrified of Cullen, one word from him and I would be dead, but… I also knew him, I’d known him for a long time. The memory of him screaming, begging for my Warden to leave him be flashed through my mind and I ached for him, his pain and suffering. Such a sad past, such a strong man, struggling to be. 

“Yes I…” He locked eyes with me, “I ah, have been informed of the events that took place on you trip here, and while the actions of the previously employed men were regrettable, your actions against them were a far greater crime.” 

Alright well he wasn’t that great apparently. The actions I took were a “far greater crime”? I protected myself against rapists and I’m the one to blame? I really was in Thedas! An elf getting blamed for getting almost raped!

“Fortunately for you,” he continued, as if any of this was in my fortune. “the Herald has insisted upon your innocence and has pressed me to ensure that you receive proper training. Unfortunately for me, that means I get to supervise your morning exercises.”

“Morning exercises?” I echoed, pursing my brow up at him.   
“Yes, you’ll begin with three laps around the lake, followed by twenty push ups, thirty sit ups, and then some hand to hand combat training with the recruits. You may begin,” He sighed as someone handed him another report that he needed to look at. 

I stood with my mouth open, eyes wide, waiting for him to tell me it was a joke, something, anything to indicate I wouldn’t actually have to do all that. But once he was done with signing the report, he turned around and walked off, as if I wasn’t there; awe struck. 

I turned my wide eyes to the lake. The frozen, ice cold, snow capped, lake. Which was about a mile all the way around. And he wanted me to what? Run around it three times? I hadn’t done bullshit like that since middle school! And even then I was bad at it! 

Wait, Solas had said he’d meet me down by the training yard, where was he? Was he going to be running with me? I spun around, looking for his signature bald head, I scanned the area, but I couldn’t find him. I kept looking, while slowly making my way down to the lake. 

“I was wondering when you were going to get here.” 

I looked to my left to see something I hadn’t expected. Ben was tying his hair back, smiling at me from under his trimmed beard. He was shirtless, a large scar decorating his… supple chest, with scattered, smaller scars scattered around his hips and arms. It seems I hadn’t noticed a lot about Ben the last time I’d seen him shirtless, not to my fault of course, I had been distracted by things a little lower. 

“I didn’t know you were waiting.” I replied, averting my eyes. He had, what I would describe as, Big Bara Titties. It was almost lewd, seeing him shirtless. “I thought Solas was meeting me.” 

“He is, he’ll be down later. But I thought I’d help you get through the more strenuous parts of your training.” Ben said, throwing his arm around my shoulder and pulling me into a side hug, guiding me to the edge of the lake. 

“Yeah, uh, is there a way to… avoid running? Or exercise? All together?” I cleared my throat, attempting not to look at the nipple three inches from my face. Why did he smell so nice? He was probably the hairiest, biggest man I’d ever seen, you’d think he’d smell terrible! Probably blood magic. 

He let out a loud, low laugh, but didn’t answer. He then proceeded to kneel down in front of me, and hold a hand out to my knee. 

“Solas said when he healed you before that something was wrong with your knee, I assume its why you have an aversion to the more active side of training. I’m not great with healing magic, but I can do… this…” The soft glow of his hands spread and wrapped up around my knee, tingling the inside, I could practically feel it seeping under my knee cap. 

“There,” he said, standing back up. I tested it, doing a quick squat. It hadn’t felt that good in years! No popping or aching! “Someone gave me a bit of grief for not knowing any healing spells, so I asked Solas for some pointers and one or two books….” 

“That’s amazing Ben! Thank you, now I can maybe run five feet before collapsing.” I chuckled, and he laughed along too. I’d almost forgotten that I’d given him shit for not knowing any healing spells when Solas had been hurt.

At that, the most horrible, exhausting, and agonizing events took place. We ran. He was much faster than me, and had far greater endurance. I barely made it half way around before I started having breathing problems. He gave me some water and then we kept going. Breathing was pain, the iced air dry and cold inside my lungs, my face was hot, sweat dripping down my back, my thighs burning and screaming at me to stop. But I couldn’t. Not with Ben so happily encouraging me.   
How dare he. 

On the second lap, Solas appeared. He sat on the dock and watched as Ben yelled things like, “You can do it!” or, “I believe in you!” As I struggled to keep a solid pace. 

At the end of the third lap, when my legs were jelly, and I was pretty sure I was about to die, I fell face first into a pile of snow, the white substance melting on contact with my burning face. I even ate a little bit. I got a good laugh out of Ben for that before he slunk off to sit with Solas. 

The snow felt amazing, but brought back shit memories of middle school. The last time I’d had to run a mile. 

I transferred schools in 8th grade, I went from a really hippie, do whatever, kind of school to your standard pledge of allegiance, everyone goes to the same church, only one black kid in the entire k-12 kind of school. At the first I’d ran a mile once a year, at the new one, they expected a mile twice a week. 

The first time they made me do it I had an asthma attack and had to lay down, and then got yelled at by the teacher for laying down. I literally couldn’t breath, and was being publicly shamed for being out of shape. I had to call my grandma so she could bring me an inhaler, but the teacher wouldn’t let me because she just thought I was being lazy. 

Guardian twisted from my arm to my hand, and instead of his usual glove form, instead shaped himself into five fingers and a palm, so that he could give me a reassuring squeeze. 

I closed my eyes and flopped onto my back. 

“Sorry,” I breathed, my lungs finally not burning anymore. Though I couldn’t say the same for my legs. “I’m just out of shape.” I wished for a moment that Guardian and I could communicate outside of the fade, I’m sure he could offer some kind of insight on my situation. 

“Melana!” Solas’ voice snapped me out of my memory spiral, which all in all was probably a good thing. I pushed myself up on my elbows, which honestly should count as one of the sit ups curly told me to do, to see Solas and Ben sitting together on the dock just a few feet away, eating something. My stomach responded immediately, growling louder than I’d known it could. The beast needed to be fed. 

“Come eat something cutie,” Ben chuckled at the sound of my stomach, which apparently echoed through the entirety of Thedas. I scowled at the pet name but got up all the same, trudging over to the dock and sliding down onto the cold wooden surface.

“Just slide the food into my mouth, I’m not moving for another year.” I whimpered as Solas handed me a chunk of bread and some cheese. I got another laugh out of Ben, but after that the three of us were quite quiet. I took the moment to fully examine The Herald.

I was curious about his scars, mostly the one in the center of his chest, it looked… new, and deep. Maybe from the blade of a sword? 

The smaller ones, decorating his sweat gleamed arms were around the size of arrow head tips. I scanned down his arm to his hand, with the green swirling magic emanating off of it, and a scar that reached up to his elbow in the pattern of lightning. He took a bite of his bread with said hand and I swallowed; remembering that he would soon lose that arm. 

A rather gloomy thought. 

I caught Ben watching me and I forced my face back to my food. 

“Do you have any scars Mel?” Ben asked with a mouthful of cheese. 

“A few, none as… extreme as yours though.” I replied around a bite. He hummed in response, looking down at his largest scar. 

“I got an axe to the chest, it went rather deep. Luckily the circle had amazing healers.” He said, tracing a finger around the corners of the white scar.

I stretched out my leg and unwrapped the leggings down to the ankle, to expose my calf, and the scar that rested there.

“I got this when I was eleven, burned myself on-” A motorcycle, “-my moms stove.” I lied. Ben looked down at it, it was a large circular shape, a few shades lighter than my skin tone. He nodded in approval and then pulled up his own pant leg as I wrapped mine back up. I got a sideways glance from Solas that said, “I know those are mine but I’m not going to say anything”.

“One of the new kids at the circle lit me on fire, covered my whole leg. Healers left me with just this.” He motioned to a scar that wrapped around his ankle and stretched upwards of his calf. It was the only spot on his leg that wasn’t covered in black hairs. 

He looked up at Solas, “What about you, any scars?” 

Solas had been ignoring us and quietly eating save the occasional raised brow. He put the rest of his food down and reached to the edge of his sweater, carefully lifting it up. 

It was still new, and I can’t believe I’d forgotten it. The center of his chest, a pink claw mark stretching from his collarbone to the top of his stomach. He’d healed it again, so it certainly looked better than the last time I saw it, but it was still… jarring to see. The memory of sewing up his chest wasn’t one I looked back on fondly.

“I believe you both know its origin.” Solas sighed, lowering his sweater. I swallowed again, remembering how soft his skin was before cramming the rest of my lunch into my mouth and then chewing like my life depended on it, gaining myself some weird looks from both of them.

Shortly after that embarrassing display Ben announced it was time for more of the hellish activity called exercising! Solas just got to watch, smirking at me as I struggled to get past my second push up. 

“I’m… going… to… kill… him…” I gasped in between labored breaths. Ben, whom had already done fifty push ups whilst I was still on ten, was sitting cross-legged next to me, face in his hands, smiling down at me. 

At twenty push ups, Ben put a hand to the small of my back and applied weight, slamming me onto the ground. 

“Ass!” I shrieked, struggling to push myself back up, my arms shaking as I fought against him. I imagined I’d probably have gotten in trouble for calling him an ass in a different situation, only since it was Ben, and he was an ass, I’m sure I was fine.

Thirty push ups came far to slowly, and I thumped onto the ground with a triumphant sigh, Ben even clapped. Before being an ass again.

He threw himself across my back, squishing me into the dirt with his entire body weight. I struggled, screeched, squirmed and eventually, gave up. Lying still and groaning until he slid off.

“I hate you,” I whispered.

“You love me,” He replied, extending me a hand. I thought it was meant to help me up to my feet, but he only allowed me to sit slightly up. He then moved down to put his hands on my feet. 

Oh right. Fucking sit ups. 

“How many?” I sighed, laying my head back on the ground. 

“I believe the Commander said thirty, but lets see if you can do more.” Ben replied, resting his chin on my knees to blink down at me. Fucking thirty sit ups, I wasn’t going to do thirty sit ups, I was going to do forty. 

Twenty sit ups later and I was regretting ever coming to fucking Thedas. Why did I have to do all this? Why were they making me work out? Was it some trick to get me to lose weight? What the fuck Cullen, just let me be a tubby muffin. 

Ten sit ups after that and Solas had moved closer to ‘correct my form’, smacking my hands every time I tried to use their momentum. Why. Why did everyone want me to do this bullshit. I hadn’t even eaten anything with protein! Cheese and bread is not a suitable diet for someone exercising- Mythals cunt were they putting me on a diet too?! 

At forty sit ups, my stomach muscles burned, I’d almost choked on my breasts twice, and my wrist was red from where Solas had slapped it. I gasped for air. Done, tired, burnt out, and ready to go back to fucking bed. Ben helped me up, but my legs refused to obey, wobbling and wiggling until I simply collapsed back onto the floor. Of course Ben had to laugh at that. 

“You’re not used to working so hard, are you?” He asked as he squatted down, putting one arm under my knees, and the other on my back, lifting me into the air with ease. I squeaked and threw my own arms around his neck, holding on for dear life.

“No! I lived a soft cushy life before coming to the inquisition and I liked it that way!” I replied. Ben chuckled again, walking back over to the dock with Solas quick behind him. Solas even snorted a laugh at my mention of my life before, the bastard. 

Ben sat me gently back down on the ground, and I gingerly removed my hands from his neck. I’d always hated being carried. I’d especially never liked piggy back rides, my breasts always hurt like hell during them, all pressed tight against someone’s back. 

Solas and Ben sat crossed legged in front of me. 

“You’ve worked very hard Melana,” Solas started, reaching behind him. “Ben has happily offered himself to teach you how to carve your own staff, and I can’t think of a better reward for indulging the Commander.” He pulled out a small knife and a long piece of wood that was far too thick to be used as anything but fire wood. 

I squealed with excitement. “Seriously? Yes!” I greedily took the knife and log from Solas’ hands. 

“I thought you’d like that,” Ben laughed, revealing his own log and knife. “I’ll walk you through it, but I think Solas picked out the concentrating gem for you.” 

“Ah yes,” Solas said, clearing his throat. He reached back again, digging through his bag before pulling out what looked like… a foci. It was far smaller, and didn’t have the strange finger print patterned ridges, but the color and shape were certainly the same. “Once you have finished carving we shall use this to test where exactly your skills lie in magic.”   
Ben gave the orb a sideways look, but didn’t say anything. Instead, he got to work teaching me to carve. 

It was pretty simple, a slice here, a cut there, decorate it with grooves if you’d like, patterns that mean something to you. Solas had me carve runes into it, elven words that I didn’t know the meaning of. I kept it quite thick, easy to move around, with a swirling head piece for the foci, which Ben guided me through very carefully.

“It doesn’t matter much if the spot is too wide, the wood will form around it after the spell.” He said, working on his own staff. Apparently he was just going to sell it, the store paid good money for freshly carved staffs. 

“What spell?” I asked, brushing some wood chips off my knee before looking up at him. 

“Its ah, you have the wood bend out so you can put the concentration gem inside, and then have the wood reform around it. It’s pretty basic.” He was beaming down at me, he’d probably always wanted to teach someone about this kind of stuff. He’d be a good dad. 

Once the spiraled wood was complete, it was Solas’ turn. I put the staff aside and turned to him, extending my hands for the orb. He looked down at it, then up at me. I wiggled my fingers, beckoning for it. He sighed and placed it in my hands.

It tingled under my fingers. I turned it over, examining it. It was… I could feel magic already inside of it, begging to be used. I tried what Solas had told me, just think about what you want it to do and the magic will do it. Although before he was talking specifically about fire. 

I let my magic seep slowly out through my fingertips, gradually letting it out. I didn’t want to allow it to burst out like the other times. My eyes slid closed as I concentrated, slowly feeding the mini foci my power, until it started to ripple like water under my hands. 

It rolled at ebbed until it took its shape, the fingertip edges forming around it. 

Ben made a sound of discomfort next to me, and I glanced over, his hand pulsed at the presence of the small orb. It was a foci. Just a tiny one. Which was a good representation of my magic next to Solas’ I guess. 

Suddenly the power exchange changed, and the foci was pulling more and more energy from me. I tried to resist it, but it had a grip on me I couldn’t push away. It drained me entirely, every last drop of mana that I had, it ate. 

Finally the swirling pattern ceased, and it settled on what looked suspiciously like my thumb print. 

I looked over at Solas, my brow furrowed. He extended his hands for the foci and I happily handed it over. He turned it around in his hands, examining it, before grabbing my new staff and placing it inside the top, pushing the wood down to hold it in place.

He handed the staff over to me when he was done. 

“You did very good Melana,” He said softly as the thick wooden staff touched my hands. I could feel the magic pulsing through it, my magic. Instantly I felt better, the fatigue leaving my lungs and muscles, being replaced by strength and vigor. “It seems you are indeed to be a powerful healer.”

I looked down to the foci, tensing my hands around the staff. It was glowing a soft blue, pulsating to a heart beat that matched my own. I turned it over in my hands, examining the grooves and edges I’d carved myself. 

“Awesome,” I whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey man, when solas hands you a teeny foci, you don't fight that shit. 
> 
> I drew some illustrations for this chapter! Check them out here: http://masmkasm.tumblr.com/post/146715346722/two-draws-to-go-with-the-new-chapter-tomorrow
> 
> i may have finished writing this this morning, even though i had a whole week to do it ;A; forgive me, i am weak. 
> 
> I have a lot of time off next week though, so I'm going to try and bust out a few chapters in advance. Next weeks chapter is being pushed to sunday instead of friday, to just try and improve the quality a little bit! SORRY GUYS <3


	13. Frustrating

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally updated... thank the maker. Slight nsfw warning on this? like barely, you're just gonna blush alot i'm a fluff master

“So!” I shouted, jumping up to my feet and swinging my fancy new staff around. “Does this mean I’m a real mage now?”

“Not even close,” Ben chortled, putting his half finished staff aside to yank me back down into a sitting position. “You’ve still got a long way to go Mel.”

I flopped back down, holding my new stick across my lap. I ran careful fingers over the grooves, twisting my hand around the pulsating orb. I could feel my connection to it, like a tether that was physically pulling on my chest. My finger tips caught on the edged pattern of the hard stone. I released a breath, tension oozing out of me.

“Thank you, Solas. Really.” I sighed, drawing my hands away from my staff and resting them behind me, holding up my weight. I tilted my head back, watching my hot breath swirl in the cold air as I exhaled again. Like smoke it flowed upwards in a cloud and then puffed out of existence.

“Perhaps now that you’ve had a rest-” Solas started up but I quickly cut him off.

“No more running!” I squeaked, flinching away from him.

“No, I was going to suggest the three of us meditate, surely we could all benefit from it.” He sighed, straightening his back and motioning to Ben, who quickly did the same.

“Oh, meditating. Like… in to the fade?” I asked, slipping the staff behind me and scooting closer to the two of them. Solas cracked his neck and I immediately wanted nothing more than to be licking said neck. Because I am a weak, shameful woman. At least this time he was wearing a fucking shirt.

“If you’d like.” Solas replied flatly. I couldn’t tell but I think he was… mad at me? Still? Or he was trying to detach himself… which was probably worse than being mad at me. Maybe if he wasn’t an unreadable bastard I could figure out what was going on in that damn head.

Ben was already cross legged with his eyes closed, breathing slowly in and out, with Solas quick behind him. Leaving me; staring at the two of them. They were on either side of me, facing one another, eyes closed… jaws tight… they didn’t really look like they were relaxing. Ben seemed twitchy, his eyes flicking every which way under his lids. Solas just looked pissed off. He was scowling, his balls in fists and posture just pointed in general with anger.

What the hell.

These idiots had been fine two seconds ago. Was Solas still that pissed about last night? Had I done something to set him off? Or were they mad about something completely unrelated? Maybe they were always angry when they meditated.

I rolled my eyes, as much as I wanted to leave; I knew Solas would just drag me back. My lids slid closed and tried to focus on my breathing. In, and out, in, and out. How was I supposed to be benefiting from this again? Its not like I wasn’t relaxed enough by this point, carving my staff had been super zen. This? This was just boring.

I peeked an eye open to look back over at Solas. We had so much to do, and so little time to do it all. But we were just sitting there, as though nothing was falling apart around us. My eyes glazed over to the rift. Green and pulsating, haunting almost.  
I’d tried my best to ignore it but there it was; staring at me like a starving beast in front of a meal. As terrifying as it was, it was still incredibly beautiful and captivating. Currently closed, but still very much alive. So green, greener than any shade I’d seen before, bright and dark at the same time, swirls of gray clouds accenting it.

I wanted to paint it.

Maybe I would help Solas paint the murals in the fresco when we got to Skyhold. Speaking of Solas- I looked back down to him, and found his eyes hard against my own.

“You are distracted da’len.” He said flatly.

“I was looking at the rift. I thought I might… paint it.” I replied softly, rubbing a hand to my eye. I flinched my hand back and stared at it, suddenly realizing I used to wear glasses. Where had they gone? They must have broken when I fell into Thedas. How had I not realized sooner?

Solas hummed in response, either in approval or not, I couldn’t tell. I was a little wrapped up trying to figure out how I’d not noticed that I didn’t need glasses anymore. Must have been all the distractions. The stress or something.

The memory of my bike on the back of a cart flashed through my mind.

“Hey Solas?” I leaned over, whispering almost, not wanting to disturb Ben who was deep in thought. Solas didn’t respond. “what happened to my bike?”

He was quiet for a minute, thinking maybe, before responding with a sigh, and an irritated look. “Obviously you’re not going to be able to meditate today,” he pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’ve been told it was put over the blacksmiths cabin, I assume they mean to rework the metal.”

“Oh shit- no they can’t! It’s not proper metal, it’s like, something else, I have to- uh-” I sputtered, clambering up, causing both of them to jolt at my sudden movement. “I really- I have to go get it before they do something to it, I’m sorry guys, I’ll… meditate with you later, I promise.”

Ben and Solas exchanged a glance before nodding me off, allowing me to bolt towards the smith. I passed the camp as I went, and caught a glance of Cassandra, beating the ever loving shit out of a practice dummy. I decided to keep running in the opposite direction of that. I came upon the smiths cabin just outside the walls of Haven, people were rushing back and forth, with the occasional sound of yelling coming from the actual forge, accompanied by the loud “Ting, ting, ting,” of the hammer striking metal wasn’t very pleasant.

I coasted past the area with the forge, gaining a few odd looks from the people inside working, but for the most point they ignored me. I scanned the piles of metal and silver they had but my bike was not in sight, fear struck me, had they already reworked it? Was someone wearing it on their breast plate?

I was about to start panicking when out of the corner of my eye I saw a familiar messy brown head adorned with brains.

“Ervan!” I called out, standing on my tip toes and waving. He jumped up, face covered in soot as he glanced around, trying and failing to see me. He was sitting inside the small room with the forge, he being the source of the clanging sound. I immediately noticed that where his stump of an arm used to be was a hammer, being held on with a sort of harness wrapped around his arm and up to his shoulder.

I moved to get inside, pushing through the crowd and coming in to his line of sight. His eyes settled on my face and his mouth turned up in a smile, using his palm to wipe some soot off his face before taking his apron off.  
“Mel!” He called, waving his hand for me, I wiggled passed another few people and finally made my way in to the extremely warm smith area. I got a stern glare from the human man selling items to the crowd that was now behind me, but he didn’t say anything as I went to stand over by Ervan.

The dwarf extended his hand and I put mine in his, allowing him to tilt his head and kiss my knuckles, his prickly, unwashed beard scratching against my soft skin. He pulled his face away but didn’t release my hand.

“I didn’t expect a visit, not that I’m complaining of course.” He said, someone came over and took the sword he’d been working on; another strange look in my direction.

“I didn’t expect to visit actually, though I’m glad to see you found somewhere you fit in.” I replied, motioning towards the back of the open room, away from the hot fires. We moved towards the fence that separated the horses and the smiths cabin, leaning against said fence. “I’m looking for my bike, it was in your cart when we arrived here, I think it was anyway.”

He scrunched up his little bearded face, thinking, looking around, his hand still lightly resting in mine, my fresh blisters from carving rubbing against his calloused palm.

“Aye, I’ve seen it, though its gonna cost you.” He finally said with a wink. I rolled my eyes and scoffed, of course, greedy little turd.

“Whatever you’d like Ervan, I just need it back.” I shrugged, and he took his hand from mine, pointing to a moderately clean spot on his cheek, angling it up to me.

I stared for a moment. Did he want me to… clean it? I certainly could, he was terribly filthy. In more than one way. But then it clicked and I leaned down, placing a soft, wet kiss on his fuzzy, soot flavored, cheek.

God the entirety of Haven was going to be talking about this, Solas gets cheated on with crippled Dwarf! Read all about it! I don’t know why they’re writing papers about it in this fantasy but just trust me on this, it wasn’t going to be good.

I pulled back up, a smear of black across my lips, and a gigantic smile across his.

“S’behind the shack, knew you’d want it so I kept it safe… though I’ve never seen gears that small, I’ve seen ‘em big but… them’re tiny.” He said, pointing off to the small space in between the walls of haven and the cabin, his accent seemed to thicken as he spoke, the blush overtaking his face.

“Ervan you’re the best, thank you so much,” I leaned down and planted another kiss, this time on the top of his head, before hurrying out of the overhang and rushing around the corner. There it sat, waiting for me, tires full, freshly polished, and the seat tightened. Bless Ervan to the moon and back.

I very carefully pulled it out from the corner, guiding it out onto the dirt path. I tossed my leg over, resting my rear gently on the seat. I hadn’t ridden it since before I got to Thedas, not since that morning on my way to work. I put my foot on the right peddle, staring down the dirt road that curved either down towards the lake, or went straight in to the woods. I could scare the crap out of Solas and Ben…they hadn’t seen me ride the bike before… or I could escape for a while.

Choosing the latter, I was off, the mud underneath me fighting for but a moment before the tires dug in and sped off, whizzing passed the tents and barreling into the woods. My hair picked up in the wind, tress blurring past as I flew through the forest trail, a skidded as I turned abruptly in front of the cabin in the woods, curving around and up the trail, I switched the gears, the peddles spinning faster as I hurdled back towards Haven. My thighs burned from the earlier run, but I could care less, too thrilled with the adrenaline of speed.

I curved back around, just outside of the front gate as Solas and Ben walked up, skidding to a stop in front of them. The two men jumped back, the tires barely missing their toes as they did. I got several strange looks as I threw my leg back over, pulling myself off of the bike, my breath heavy and heart light as I smiled back to the two of them.

“I found it,” I chirped at Solas, who only nodded in response, and then quickly walked past, heading inside the gates. I scowled after him before turning back to Ben, who seemed a little awe-struck. “What the heck is his deal?” I asked, sticking my thumb in the direction of the grumpy egg.

That seemed to shake Ben from his thoughts, and he looked at me a little more… solemnly.

“Solas isn’t… he’s not mad at you, if that’s what you think,” He started, and I rolled my eyes; if Solas wasn’t mad with me then I was the fucking Empress. “It’s me, well it’s the others as well… Cullen want’s me to recruit the Templars, and Cassandra is backing him and I just… don’t know what to do really.”

My brow rose as he spoke, eyes widening as I realized what was going on; Ben didn’t have any idea what to do. I almost forgot how hard all this must have been from him, he was just the fool who got stuck in the middle of all of this.

“Ben…” I reached out, placing a hand on his arm, “Let’s talk, inside. Maybe I can help lift some of this burden.”

 

The two of us walked inside in silence, though I gave Varric a wave as we went by, and he made a “What are you doing?” kind of motion, which is weird to describe. Imagine a shrug and a lot of confused looks. I waved him off, I’d fill him in later.

I parked my bike just outside the chantry, watching a couple of kids run up to poke at it, before following Ben inside. I got the classic weird looks from everyone as I trailed close behind the Herald, trying not to look like he was dragging me off for punishment.

He guided me in to the war room, which I’d never seen empty. In fact I’d never really seen it myself, only through the game. He walked over to the head of the table, putting both his hands on it as I closed the door behind us.

“It’s too much responsibility, I don’t understand why they want me to chose, chose where we go, what we do, who we send where… I can’t handle it all.” His fists clenched on the table as he spoke. I approached slowly, wringing my hands together, looking down at the table.

There wasn’t too much on it actually, only the few markers to show where certain major cities were. I ran a gentle hand over where I knew Skyhold to be, pausing, thinking.

“They’ll want you to lead, you know.” I spoke slowly, softly, not looking up at him, but I felt his eyes heavy on me. I picked up the marker that showed where Haven was, weighing it in my hand. Visions of fire raining down on us flashed through my mind and I sat it back down, sighing. He said nothing. He probably always knew, somewhere, in the back of his mind that he’d never be free of the inquisition.

“I’ve never… I’ve never understood why it has to be Mages or Templars. Why can’t you pick both? Because they don’t get along? Make them get along, we’re at war, we need all the allies we can get. Send someone to meet the Templars, send Cullen and Cassandra if they’re so eager, then you go to get the Mages.” I still wasn’t looking at him, thinking as I spoke, we wouldn’t be able to hold the mages and templars for very long, but we wouldn’t have to. If we were to take both, then Cory wouldn’t get either. Where would his army come from?

“I can’t take both,” He sighed, turning around to lean against the table, his chin in his hand. “We don’t have the room here to hold both forces.”

“We don’t have to stay here.”

“Where would we go?” He scoffed, “Orlais wont have us, Fereldan is barely tolerating us, any keep that could house us is occupied by another army. Haven is the only place we have.”

I couldn’t tell him about Skyhold, it would alter the timeline too much, I had to think of something.

“Josephine can find us somewhere else, I imagine she has the connections. Either way it doesn’t matter, stay or go we need both more than we need either or. We don’t know who we’re fighting, but we do know that the Templars, and the Mages are pretty much uncontrolled, unclaimed forces, if you pick one then the enemy picks the other, pick both and who do they have? The stragglers? It wont be enough, the war would be over before it started.”

I had gone on a tangent, staring at the table and speaking out my train of thought, when I finished, and he was silent, I looked up.

His eyes were wide, and he was smiling.

“Maybe you should be the leader, when it comes down to picking one.” He said, breathlessly, he walked over to the door, cracking it open to address the guard standing outside. “Summon the war council, I’ve made a decision.”

“A decision, Ben! You haven’t even gone to Orlais yet!” I called as he hurried back into the room, looking for something. He dug around in a drawer off to the side, pulling out a quill and parchment.

“That’s not what I’m deciding on.” He said, the smile still very present on his face, he put the paper on the table and started writing, what I couldn’t tell, until he finished, signed it, and then slid it over to me.

I looked down at it, read it, and then looked back to Ben.

“You want me to be one of your advisors?!” I yelped as he handed me the quill to sign it as well. It was more of a proclamation than anything, giving me a sort of status in the inquisition, it was hastily written, and didn’t give me a proper title, but was a surprising move.

“You’ve been nothing but good council since we’ve met, I can’t imagine someone I’d rather have by my side.” he pushed the parchment towards me again, I was about to protest more, but the door swung open as Leli and Josie walked in. Two people who I hadn’t actually met properly yet. Ben and I both turned our heads to see them step in, Cullen just a bit further behind them.

“You’ve made a decision? Pertaining to what exactly?” Lelianna asked as she entered, passing me with barely a glance. Josie did the opposite, walking right up to me and shaking my hand, saying something in Elven that I didn’t recognize, but nodded my head in respect. The two took their places to the side of the table.

“You are both aware of Melana, the mage who was attacked by two guards during our travels from the Hinterlands to Haven?” Ben asked, motioning to me just as Cullen arrived. The girls both nodded and Cullen made a sort of groaning sound as he closed the door and crossed the room.

“She has made my mind up about a few things. For starters, we can’t fit in Haven, we need to move on, we’ll soon overstay our welcome. It not exactly a stronghold, we wont be able to stave off a full frontal attack. Secondly-” Josie was furiously writing down as he talked, Cullen was simply watching in irritation, as if he had already voice his opinion on this subject and had been previously ignored, while Lelianna’s eyes were locked on me.

“-The idea that we have to pick between bringing the Mages or the Templars into the fold is ridiculous, we need the two of them to find common ground; the breach, and this unknown enemy we’re fighting, and bring them together. I’ll not chose between them, I’ll recruit both.”

“A bold decision indeed,” Josephine said, “how are we to know that they wont simply attack each other on sight?”

“We can barely control the mages and templars we currently hold, I doubt we can tame an entire army of both.” Cullen sighed, rubbing him temples.

Ben was quiet, and looked to me. Oh fuck, he wanted me to sell this idea?! Shitting fuck balls okay… hold on, deep breath… and…

“We’re fighting someone,” All three sets of eyes landed on me, the tiny elf standing next to the smirking idiot. “We aren’t fighting a hole in the sky, we’re fighting a person, we may not know who that person is, but we know that he- or she, is going to try and grab one of the two existing forces. In fact they probably intend to take both, and overwhelm us. But if we-”

“If we were to take both of the forces, they would have nothing, and we would have the largest army in Thedas.” Cullen finished, the realization of my plan washing over him. I nodded.

“We’d pull the rug out from under them, while simultaneously bringing together two groups of people who need to sort out their differences.” I tucked my hands behind my back, trying to pretend I knew ANYTHING about what I was talking about, good god I was talking out of my ass. I had no idea if I’d just ruined everything, or fixed everything.

They started talking after that, who would they send, how would they do it, when would it happen, all that jazz, when Ben cut them off.

“The third, and final decision I’ve made,” oh sweet merciful god he was going to do it, “is to make Melana one of my advisors.”

Silence fell over the room. What had just been a very happy, very excited group, with a very cemented plan, had just gone quiet. I looked between the three of them, and saw three very different emotions; Leliana seemed content with the idea, Josie seemed very surprised, and Cullen looked… angrily confused.

“I’m sorry Herald… but she’s just a girl,” Cullen started, motioning towards me. “She hardly knows the ways of warfare,”

“And I do?” Ben scoffed, and Cullen’s mouth slapped closed. Ben looked around the room, his eyes resting on me. “The day after I met her she saved the life of one of my friends, she refused to leave his bedside until she was certain he was stable, she’s given me better council than any of you three have… and what have we done for her?”

Cullen stared down at the map, refusing to look up.

“We treated her with fear, simply because she’s a mage, simply because she defended herself against a fight that she in no way instigated. I want her by my side, she’s reliable, powerful, and smart.” Ben put an arm around my shoulder as I fought back tears, trying not to hiccup as he gripped me tight. They were quiet for another beat, but Ben stood confident.

“I think she will make a lovely addition to the inner circle!” Josephine squeaked, clapping her hands together to attempt to break the tension, causing both Cullen and I to jump. “I’ll have to make an official notice, welcoming her to the inquisition, we’ll contact your clan and let them know, maybe even invite them here!”

“Oh, I’m not, I’m not Dalish,” I said with a wince, unfortunately I had no allies to offer on that front.

“Oh dear, my apologies, I just assumed…”

“It’s okay, really.” I said, clearing my throat. “Unfortunately I don’t have much of an exciting background.” One that I should make up at some point. Before Leliana’s intense stare makes me scream out that I’m not from Thedas.

After that there was a lot more talking, who was going to go to Orlais? Who should go to meet this Iron Bull and his group that were apparently tearing it up in the Storm Coast? Ben would obviously be doing both, as he was the main centerpiece currently. Solas, Cassandra and Varric would all go, along with a group of troops for simple protection. I would go on the trip to Orlais but would not be attending the adventure to the Storm Coast, apparently I had more use in Haven.

Then came the talk about where we intended to go after recruitment. I suggested we stay until the breach is closed, surely we’d be able to hold until then. I told them I might have a lead on somewhere, and started plotting ways to get Solas to tell them soon. Maybe get us started there before all the nonsense even starts. So that discussion was tabled for now, though Josie would be keeping her ear to the ground about available fortresses.

We talked for hours about basically nothing, and I was there just to nod or shake my head whenever Ben was unsure, which was a weird amount of power for me. When we finally broke, it was well into the evening, and Ben escorted me out to the front of the Chantry.

“Thank you,” He sighed as we stepped out into the chilled night air.

“For?” I asked, pulling my sweater back over my head, I’d taken it off at some point during the talks, as it was far too hot in the war room.

“Everything, really. You’ve been… insanely helpful.” He reached out and pulled me in to a tight hug, and I happily returned it. Just holding him there for a minute. A few girls walked by whispering and I knew the rumor mill was going to have a fucking field day. He released me, and I took a deep breath, smiling up at him.

“I just want what is best for Thedas, and for some reason you’re defiantly what’s best for it.” I chuckled, punching him in the arm. He feigned injury for a moment before leaning down and kissing the top of my head, a gesture that caused my face to explode into a dark red.

“Hurry home to Solas, I’m sure he’s worried.” He said with a wink, and I punched him again, this time with actual force and he winced in pain, rubbing the spot as he jogged off to his own cabin. I scoffed in disbelief at how insane my day had been, and grabbed my bike, heading back to my new home.

I chained the bike to a post outside the alchemists cabin, next to the firewood, and then hurried inside Solas and my shared cabin. The snow had started to come down heavy outside, burning against my still warm skin. As I opened and then quickly slammed the door behind me, Solas barely flinched from his seat at the table. I rubbed my hands together, bouncing from one foot to the other as I tried to warm back up.

“I assume you and Benjamin had a fine night,” Solas said, not looking up from his book on the table, his other hand stirring a bowl of soup next to said book. I crossed the room, throwing off my wet sweater to my chair across from him, practically diving in front of the soothing hot fire that heated the entire room.

“I have much to report my lord,” I chuckled and he grimaced out of my sight. I rubbed my hands in front of the fire as I listened to him close his book to turn more towards me. I looked back up at him and saw behind him my staff, leaning lamely against the wall.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry, I totally forgot it down there,” I winced, and then shook my head, “actually, I have a lot to apologize about.” I turned fully towards him, watching as one of his eyebrows raised curiously.

“Last night, I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did, I understand that you’re very passionate about what happened, which is your right. I shouldn’t have pushed you, and I shouldn’t have made you promise not to yell at me. I imagine that I’ll be yelling at you in the future, its only right that you should be able to do the same. I was foolish to try and control you, and I’m sorry.” I hated talking like this, I hated apologizing, I could feel tears welling up but I blinked past them.

He was quiet for a beat, before sighing and moving down to the floor with me.

“You are equally passionate about the past for your own reasons, I should not have assumed that we had the same viewpoint about what transpired. I believe we were both equally in the wrong.” He sat cross legged, one hand on my shoulder, the other in his lap. He gave me a light, reassuring squeeze. “I am not quick to trust people these days, but I feel as though you have certainly earned it. I should be kinder.”

“I could tell you weren’t the happiest you’ve ever been today, and I know that wasn’t entirely my fault, but I certainly added to it.” I chuckled, “Which brings me back around to my report.”

“Yes don’t call me my lord.” He snapped and I laughed again.

“Yes Master Fen’harel.”

“I revoke everything, you no longer have my trust.” He said it with such a straight face it was impossible not to burst out with more laughter. When I’d finally calmed down, I relayed to him the events that transpired, careful to then tell him everything I knew about each situation that would happen should Ben pick one or the other, and the consequences of each choice. At one point he gave me some soup he’d saved for me, cold soup, but food none the less. I’d snacked during the previous talk, but no real food.

Once I’d finished telling him everything I could remember, and he’d even written some of it down, he spoke.

“I believe… you’ve done well. Corypheus will surely feel this blow much more than any other we could deal against him. And Skyhold can most certainly hold both forces, which is a good idea on your part. It still floors me, about how much of this you know.”

“Oh no, there are some people who would know way more than me. I’m sure there’s someone out there who knows every single one of Corypheus’s battle plans. Unfortunately, they didn’t get sent to Thedas, I did.” I said in between bites of the almost gone soup.

“Well with a…” he gave me a look as I slurped the last of the soup up. “… an agent directly inside the inquisitions war council, it seems I’ll be privy to all the goings on.” He rubbed his chin with his thumb, obviously now I was pretty much invaluable to him, a soon to be fountain of information. I stood up and put the bowl down on the table, wiping my chin before walking in to my room, and then reemerging with my ipad and speaker.

“I meant to show you this before, but I kept forgetting.” I put the speaker in his hands and watched as he turned it over. It was a simple Bluetooth speaker, blue and black with a few buttons on one side. He attempted to open it, but couldn’t find a latch.

I swiped open my ipad and scrolled through to the classical playlist from my musical selection. I hit shuffle and the music came blaring out of my speaker a little louder than I’d intended, and Solas immediately dropped it. I plucked up out of his lap and turned the volume down.

“Here,” I said, holding it out to him. He took it gingerly, the music pouring from it like magic. I put the Ipad to my side and watched him as he continued to examine it.

“Where does the sound come from?” he asked, setting it down finally, next to the ipad.

“Honestly? I don’t know, something about sound waves traveling with electricity through the air and then connecting to the device? I don’t really… I don’t know, don’t think about it too much,” I said, reaching over and turning it up a bit. The sounds filled the room, I recognized the song, as I did with most of the music on my ipad, as a Lindsey Stirling song. Ironically enough, the Dragon Age song she’d done. Solas almost seemed to recognize it, as it was in a way, a song from this world.

He was quiet as we listened, the song lasting only two minutes before the next one started. A more actually Classical Song, old school, a waltz maybe.

“It can play more than one?” He asked, almost flabbergasted.

“It can play a few hundred songs,” I said, suppressing a laugh. I knew this would be entertaining, but I didn’t think he’d be so fascinated by it. The song picked up and he stood, reaching for my hand.

“What?” I asked, letting him pull me up.

“Dance with me.” He didn’t ask, just stated it, pulling me in to a dance like position.

“Oh-no, no Solas I can’t dance, I mean I can dance by my earths standards- barely, but I don’t know how to-” I started blathering but he cut me off, telling me to shut up, and my mouth slowly closed.

He guided me, turning me this way and that, my hand tight on his shoulder while his rested lightly on my waist. We followed the beat of the song, moving together as I desperately tried to avoid stepping on his feet and he chuckled as I did so. He spun me at one point and I almost fell, but he quickly put his hand back to my hip, pulling me back into him, practically slamming my chest against his own.

I was breathless as we turned again, and my worries faded, he smiled down at me and spun me again, this time dipping me as the song came to an end, and I struggled to keep hold of him.

He pulled me back up onto my feet as the next song started up, a slow rendition of I See Fire, by Jasmine Thompson, my favorite version. His hands lingered on my sides as he stabled me, holding me a little closer than he’d previously held me. He took a step back and I took on forward, beginning in a new kind of dance.

“Solas,” I said softly, my hands sliding down from around his neck to rest on his chest. “I’m here for you, I’ll be here for you, no matter what happens, no matter what you do. I’m your friend. You’re not going to lose me.”

His eyes studied my face.

“You’re ridiculous.” He replied, reaching up and grabbing my chin, angling my head down to kiss my forehead. “I don’t think I could get rid of you if I tried at this point.”

Dazed, I stood there, a little sweaty, very tired, and with a very irritated spirit vibrating on my arm.

“I’m ridiculous? You just started spinning me around in circles for no reason!” I giggled, smacking his chest. He stepped back from me finally, and I let him, not following after, trying to get my libido under control. He turned away, back to his book, and I clutched my chest. I’d thought he was going to kiss me, well he did kiss me, but I thought he was going to KISS me. That was, that was intensely romantic and stupid.

I cleaned up my dinner, grabbed my Ipad and speaker, and hurried into my room with a quick goodnight to Solas, hoping to the moon and back I had some filthy fucking dreams.

 

I didn’t.

“You shouldn’t be going to Orlais at all! It’s exceedingly dangerous, that filthy place is filled with assassins and anti-mages, you’ll make it two minutes before someone tries to kill you, and how will I protect you in the meager wooden form you’ve given me!?” Guardian had been going on like this for about an hour, scolding me from the moment I had gotten into the fade. I’d seen a few desire demons approach, looking like Solas, only to immediately turn tail and run when they saw the giant, golden clad beast yelling at me.

“What, Gaurd, look, you can switch your form if you want? Maybe once I get some armor or something…” I sighed, watching another terrified desire demon run in the opposite direction. It's not that I wanted to be seduced by a demon, but for fucks sake I’d at least like one to try.

“That’s all well and good but this Solas… I don’t trust him, he’s getting far too chummy with you.” Fucking hell, was he a Guardian Spirit or a Jealousy Spirit? I waved him off, ignoring him. I was more than done with this conversation.

“Can we just walk around or something? Explore some ancient memories of the fade? I hate staying in one place.” I sighed, already starting to walk off, he hurried after me, glowering down at any and all spirits we passed. Walking to find a memory was weird, the fade was fluctuating around us. I could feel Solas nearby but I didn’t want to touch that, I was all good with him, I didn’t want to ruin it. Ben’s presence was also there, but I didn’t seek him out either.

For once I wanted a quiet night, without anyone else. Except apparently Guardian.

The earth underneath my feet turned from grass to a soft sand, the green hue fading and turning dark. The sounds of waves washing on the shore filling my ears, there was a light background music, almost like a Steven Universe episode. I was back on my beach.

I stretched my arms out and laid down on the ground, my feet just in the water. I recalled the last time I’d been on this beach, telling Solas I knew who he was. I took a deep breath, settling my mind. Guardian stood a few feet behind me, watching in silence as I stared up into the sky, littered with the familiar constellations, and the glistening moon that smiled down on me, bathing me in nightlight. I closed my eyes and pictured what I wanted, the one thing I missed about my world. Dirty dreams, innocent, non-demony, dirty dreams. Solas over me, his weight pressing me into the beach as he buried his face in my neck, breathing erratically as he grinded against my-

“Stop it.” Guardian growled and I let out a frustrated groan, throwing my arms up into the air.

“I can’t help it! I had a good day! I wanted a good night!” I rolled over onto my stomach to glare up at him.

“I can’t protect you from Desire Demons if you openly let them in.” He replied, and past him I saw what he meant. At least twenty eyes were watching me from the bushes, hungry, needy eyes. “Perhaps you need to find other ways to deal with this desire.”

“Ugggh,” I groaned again, rolling onto my side. “Don’t talk to me about that stuff, you’re like my dad.”

He huffed again and snapped his finger, I jolted up in my bed, my head spinning to glare at the wood that had splintered itself into my arm. I swatted at it and it retracted, slithering down to rest on my wrist like an ass.

“You’re so immature,” I whispered, throwing the blankets off and sliding my feet onto the cold floor. I ran my hands over my face and looked out the window. Still dark. I’d only been out for a couple of hours.

I sighed and pulled on my pants, slipping my feet into my shoes and walking out into the main room. Solas was still asleep, and I almost just got into bed with him, but I’m sure he wouldn’t have a positive reaction to that. Instead I grabbed my staff and headed out the door.

The storm was in full swing now, blowing ice and snow in every which way, I pulled my sweater up over my nose and trudged down to the tents. It took me a little while but I ended up finding Tannis in a small tent with Nira and Isannan. I woke Tannis up quietly, making sure he didn’t make any noise.

He was confused, and honestly so was I, but I helped him get dressed, and the two of us snuck out into the night, staffs in hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for not updating in forever but honestly i've been working ALOT and just haven't had the time, i dont even have time to edit this i've got to run to work like now, so if you see any words spellcheck missed feel free to tell me ^^ 
> 
> please accept this extra long chapter as penence for my sins


	14. Lying

“Mel what is going on?” Tannis’ voice was hardly muffled by the sound of softly falling snow, but I barely heard it over the screaming of my own annoyance. There was something inside me, something that needed to get out, pent up and irritated. I don’t know why I brought him with, of all people. Maybe I thought… at the time… that he could understand that in some way.

“I hate it here,” I hissed as I tromped into a clearing, a few druffalo looking up at me before huffing back to munch in the snow covered grass. 

“Mel?” Tannis called out as he too stepped into the clearing. 

“Everyone is, they’re so, just, UGH,” I stomped a foot, the snow beneath giving a soft crunch as I did. “I can’t go anywhere without getting gross looks, everyone’s always keeping an extra close eye on the elf, and now even worse they’re keeping two extra eyes on the mage!” I tensed my fists at my sides, puffs of fire falling from my knuckles.

“Mel, whoa, I get it okay, but… calm down,” He put a hand to my shoulder and I shook it off. 

“Calm down?! I’ve been trying! I hoped to get a good night sleep, but no, plagued by fucking desire demons, and this stupid Guardian Spirit that won't even let me ENJOY a desire demon!” I spun around to look at him, thrusting my hands out, a slightly bigger burst of fire escaping me. Tannis looked terrified. 

“I’ve been trying so hard, swallowing it all down in hopes that he doesn’t notice, but he keeps… doing things! Dancing with me, kissing my forehead, smiling at me, I’ve never seen him smile so fucking much!” All of the snow around me began to melt, falling back to reveal wet grass and mud. Tannis held his hands out, as if to calm me. 

“When he was just an idea it was so easy, I could ignore the emotions, he wasn’t real, but now he’s here and I can reach out and I can’t touch him and I thought that would be better but oh my god Tannis it’s so much worse, everything is just so much harder with him at arm's reach.” I slumped down onto the ground, hugging my knees, everything tired and aching, begging me to be in bed, asleep, resting. But I needed a good emotional breakdown. 

I started sobbing, then crying, then screaming, heavy tears falling from my eyes as Tannis knelt on the ground next to me and just held me. He held me there until the sun came up, the two of us burning off our own body heat, he didn’t ask me why, and he probably knew who, so he just sat and rubbed my back, letting me cry. 

“Sometimes… if mages keep their powers locked up for too long, not using it, it can burst. It often manifests in your emotions, because emotions are tied to your power, so when you’re having a really good… or bad day, it can effect stuff like that.” He whispered, his fingers drawing circles in my scalp, tangling and untangling my hair. 

I sniffed, rubbing my nose as the tears finally stopped. “Does it happen to you too?”

“At least once a week, though my outbursts aren’t usually so… extreme.” He said with a smirk, I elbowed him in the side and he laughed, leaning his head against mine. 

“Does it get easier?” I whimpered, trying to clean my face up. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a minute, considering his answer before responding.

“They’ll never stop sneering at you. Humans, in their nature, are suspicious of us. Non-mages even more so. But… Solas isn’t human, and I‘m pretty sure that big stick he walks around with isn‘t because he‘s got bad knees.” At the sound of Solas’ name I tensed, not a name I wanted to hear right now. My emotions had been an absolute mess, one minute I was amazingly happy, and the next I was screaming in the woods about nothing. 

“Sorry about this Tannis, I’m just… I’m all over the place lately, I’m sorry.” I sighed, putting more weight on him. 

“Don’t worry about it kid,” said the guy who was like two years younger than me. “Let’s head back down to Haven, before your boyfriend realizes you’re gone.” 

I elbowed him again for calling him my boyfriend, but followed him back. I hadn’t even realized in my rage how far I’d gone, at least a mile from the main gates of Haven. When we did get back we were greeted by a very irritated Isannan and a very worried Nira. Tannis explained, leaving out my confession of love for Solas, thank the gods because Nira would have never shut up about it, and I apologized for the other night. 

I said my goodbyes, as they had to get started on their morning chores, and so did I. But first, I had to wake the beast. 

I stopped by the tavern, picking up a rather hefty breakfast, bacon, eggs, toast, and some orange juice to top it off, then very swiftly made my way back to the cabin. 

I cracked open the door to find Solas still silently sleeping away. Praising the gods, I slipped inside, setting our breakfast up at the table and then getting out my speaker. I wasn’t going to wake him up rudely, and clearly the scent of food wasn’t enough. 

I sat the speaker on the table and turned it all the way up, pulling the same Lindsey Stirling song up from the night before on my Ipad, the violin starting slowly and softly. I sat down, just as Solas began to stir. I watched as he rolled over, eyes slightly open to glare at me, then at the food, then to slide closed again. He groaned and sat up, shirtless, once again. I assumed by this point he knew it bothered me, I immediately averted my eyes. 

He sat down across from me, just staring blankly at his food. 

“Good morning,” I said, careful to say it gently as not to spook him. He nodded his head, then reached across the table to me, holding out his hand. “… what do you want?” 

He just made a “gimmie,” motion and I handed him the only thing I was holding: my ipad. He took it, and at first I thought he was going to turn the volume down, but instead he started swiping through the albums, his brow pursed as he did. He tapped on one, though I couldn’t see it, and the sounds of a piano started up, then a soft voice started singing along. I don’t know how he found an album I’d long since buried but I almost choked on my eggs when he did. I shook the table as I jumped across it to yank the ipad away, but he was faster, leaning just out of my reach.

He was suddenly very awake, and smiling over at me as the blush overtook my face, and my own singing voice started becoming much louder over the speakers.

“You can sing,” He said, scrolling through the short list of songs on the album titled “Delete these” and tapping on another one. Disney covers I did last year on a dare, along with a few other songs I’d always loved to sing, some of them rather personal, were waiting for his stupid fingers to find.

“Solas- don’t,” but he didn’t listen, tapping on the next one. A love song, one that I’d worked for weeks to get it right, I knew I sounded good, but I recorded it for me. I buried my face in my hands, slumping down in my seat. 

“You sing very well,” He said thoughtfully, putting the Ipad in his lap and starting on his breakfast. I looked at him between my fingers, his happy face as he ate the eggs that I’d lovingly brought for him. How dare he. 

“Thank you, I’m sure you also sing very well-” my expression went from irritated to very, very excited as I realized something. Solas can sing very well. Or at least, his voice actor can, and clearly they have the same voice. “Actually, there’s a particular song I’d love you to hear, one of my favorites.”

Amazingly, he actually handed me the device, and I desperately scrolled, searching, I couldn’t remember the band name, I couldn’t remember the songs name, but I remembered the bass line, and I remembered the album cover. And then there it was, staring at me. Black Waltz.

I cackled. I fully cackled as I hit play. The bass started, a full dun dun dun dun dun dun, that I could feel inside my very soul. He stopped chewing to look at me curiously, obviously not familiar with this kind of music. Then the singing started and it was his turn to choke on eggs. 

He swallowed his bite, eyes wide, blinking at me. I crossed my arms, an evil smile curling cross my lips. The bass picked up into the chorus, he studied my face. 

“Wow Solas, you do sing very well.” I said as the song came to a close. “Perhaps I have a few more songs on here by you-” before I could even start looking he slammed a hand on the speaker, hitting the power button and shutting it off. He looked positively flustered, his hand sliding slowly off our current center piece to instead make the same “gimmie,” motion as before. 

Reluctantly I handed it over. 

“I want it gone,” He growled. 

“The song? I could delete it.” I replied.

His eyes narrowed. “Where did it come from.” 

I leaned forward. “There is someone in my world who sounds exactly like you, I do believe you may be the same person, except he is in a band. And sings. A lot.”

“… How many of these songs do you have?” He turned the Ipad over in his hands, and for a moment I actually worried he might… do something horrible to it. 

“I’ve only got one or two. I bought them out of curiosity. To be honest the band doesn’t exactly play my kind of music.” I held my hand out to take it back. “I’ll happily delete them both…” he started handing it to me. “-if,” he retracted it. 

“If you’ll sing for me instead.” I finished, still holding out my hand. 

He contemplated it for a moment, glaring still at the black box in his hand, before sighing and setting it in into my grasp. 

“I will sing, but I get to chose where, and when, I’ll not do it over breakfast.” He said, his fingers still tight on my Ipad. I raised a brow. 

“Deal.” And he let go, I deleted the songs, and showed him that I did in fact do so. I didn’t however delete the remixed version someone had done with a bunch of his lines from Dragon Age. That was for me. We finished breakfast with the sounds of rushing water accompanying us, from one of my white noise apps, and he eventually put a damn shirt on. 

“Do you have any plans today?” Solas asked, flitting through my albums, he’d gotten accustomed to the device rather quickly, I doubted it would be long before I caught him playing angry birds.

“Morning practice, a bath…” I reached over his shoulder, picking an album for him. Beethoven; I had several of his symphonies. “I want to go talk to Ben about a few things as well,’

“Yes I imagine you’ll have some new responsibilities as one of his head advisors.” He replied, setting the Ipad down to look back at me, apparently satisfied with my musical choice. “If you can, I’d like you to return around noon, I believe we should start proper healing training.”

I practically buzzed with excitement after that, rushing to get dressed and out the door. He stopped me momentarily to remind me to actually carry my staff around with me today, I needed to get used to the weight of it or something. He showed me how to strap in onto my back and I was off.

I went down to the camp first, running two miles instead of three, since my legs were still jello from doing it yesterday and Cullen was pitying me, though he looked extra irritated to see me. I did my sit ups and push ups without complaint, and even got in a half hour of hand to hand with Nira, who went SUPER easy on me. I appreciated it more than she could know. After that the two of us headed to the baths again, spending a nice long time in there, I’d gotten more bruises than I could count and she of course had a million more questions about my love life.

I fill her in with what little has happened while she washes my hair, braiding it while its still wet for me. I liked having my hair touched, it was a comfort I’d always enjoyed. 

“So you’re not bedding the dwarf, the Herald, OR Ser Solas?” Nira asked in disbelief, apparently the rumors had already made their way through the entirety of Haven and everyone thought I was a floozy, which I wasn’t very surprised by. 

“I’m not bedding anyone unfortunately. My nights are very lonely,” I sighed as she tugged my hair in to place. Guardian had been strangely silent for the last few hours, sitting motionless on my arm as I went through my daily routine. 

After bathing, Nira and I parted, her having more chores to do, and I needing to go check in with Benjamin. Solas was right, if I had new responsibilities then I needed to… well, be responsible. I hadn’t really had the intentions of coming in to power, but we have to live with what life throws at us. So I headed up to the Chantry.

Unfortunately I got cut off, Varric grabbing my arm and towing me off to sit by the fire with him. 

“You’ve been withholding information Dewdrop,” he said, plopping down across from me. “One minute you’re just a little healer nobody blinks an eye at and the next minute you’re one of the head advisors of the inquisition? No way, who did you kill to get Ben in your pocket?”

“Varric I didn’t kill anyone!” I laughed, leaning forward towards the fire, my face was still damp from the baths, “I just voiced my opinion on a few matters and poof! I’m suddenly important.”

“You were always important kiddo,” He chuckled, rubbing his chin. “Now you’re just a little bit more important.” 

I scoffed, kicking some of the rubble in front of me, trying to hide my blush. I’d never been very good at taking compliments. Varric and I talked for a good 15 minutes about basically nothing, I wanted to ask about Hawke, but decided against it, at least for now. Maybe I’d get him drunk and he could tell me some stories, some real stories, not the bullshit ones in his books. 

Eventually I said goodbye and continued on my path up to the chantry, feeling a nice little ego boost from Varric calling me important. I noticed on my way that people were looking at me a lot differently than they had been the day before, suspicion had replaced their bland irritated stare, as it should. Someone brand new, whom no one knew the background of, had wiggled her way into the highest ranks of the inquisition. That’s beyond suspicious. 

I picked up the pace, slipping into the Chantry and heading for the War Room. The door was slightly open, and I could hear talking from inside, I went to open it when I heard my name. 

“Melana is staying Cullen,” Ben’s voice.

“She’s an untrained mage, who appeared out of nowhere! And now Solas is telling us she’s summoned a demon and attached it to her? Someone like that CANNOT represent the inquisition.” Cullen was yelling, obviously very sure in his opinion. 

“I assure you I can control my student Commander,” Solas’ voice surprised me, and I shrunk under his tone, even though his irritation wasn’t directed at me it was very plane he was unhappy. “And I believe I said Spirit, not Demon. There is a very large difference.”

Cullen huffed in annoyance before continuing. “Controlling her should be the job of a Templar, I must again insist we assign one- or more- to her, she’s a threat to all in the inquisition.” 

I felt something press against my mind, something I barely recognized as magic, it smelled of Solas. He moved into view of the crack in the door to shoot me a glance. I apparently hadn’t hid very well. 

“No,” Ben growled, barely audible. I couldn’t see him, but the smirk that Solas barely hid was well in my range of sight. 

“Herald-” Cullen started but the sound of something hitting something else- heavily, cut him off.

“No! Cullen, for fucks sake, she’s just a village girl, a smart girl who knows what she’s doing! I let myself be manipulated once before, to give her watchdogs, and I only made her feel unsafe. She’s clearly capable of protecting herself, and Solas is far wiser in the ways of the fade than any of us, if, IF, she becomes an abomination,” I cringed at the thought. “Then Solas and I will deal with it.” 

Guardian lay silent still on my arm until the mention of Solas or Ben ‘Dealing with it’, and he pushed his form out, slamming the door open to reveal me, staring at the three of them. The loud noise I’d heard was apparently Ben, stabbing the table with a fucking knife like a crazy person, with Cullen standing shocked next to him. 

I don’t know why Guardian decided that was the thing to do, vibrating on my wrist angrily like a snake, as though he could yell at them. But it put me in a delicate situation. All sets of eyes were on me, Solas, the punk, feigned surprise at my arrival, but the other two were definitely surprised.

“Were you spying on us?” Cullen hissed, his hand going for his sword. 

“What? No,” I scoffed, standing up straight and walking in as if nothing had happened. “I’m an advisor of the inquisition, I’m allowed in here whenever.” I gave Ben a questioning look, as though I wasn’t entirely sure that was true. He gave a knowing nod. 

Cullen kept his hand on his sword, as though I was going to pounce at any moment. Solas stood still, with his hands tight behind his back, a neutral look on his face. 

“Cullen,” I turned towards him and he drew his sword ever slightly. Ben sighed, Solas rolled his eyes. I held my hands out, palms down, motioning for him to knock that off. He slowly lowered his sword back into its scabbard. 

“Cullen,” I started again. “I don’t want any ill blood between us, if we’re to be working together.” He gave me a very stern glare, looking between Solas and I. “I’ll answer any questions you have, if it will put your mind at ease.” 

That was a dumb thing to say. Probably the dumbest thing I could’ve said, I hadn’t thought up a good back story yet, all I’d worked out was I could probably lie about coming from the Denerim orphanage, or maybe that I’d been raised there, and showed an interest in healing. I’d wing it, I’d just…wing it. 

Cullen seemed very curious, walking behind me to close the door, motioning for me to move closer to the table. I was glad he wasn’t Leliana, honestly she could’ve seen through me in an instant. 

“Very well,” He said when he’d moved back across from me. He grabbed a quill, and a piece of paper. “How old are you?”

Starting easy then, “20,” I supplied, he wrote it down. “Probably 20,” I corrected, he stopped writing to look up at me. “I don’t know when my birthday was, we didn’t really celebrate them growing up.” he scribbled something else down. 

“Where were you born.” He asked, pulling a chair up to sit down. I could feel Solas’ eyes on me, like this was a test of how good I could lie. Oh bitch I could lie. 

“Denerim, and before you ask, yes in the alienage, and no I don’t know what year.” A full back story was coming to me now, ideas flaring up, little lies and bigger lies, who I could be here, who I was going to be. I tried not to smile as he wrote that down. 

“Your parents?”

“Lyra and Tommen. I didn’t know them well, I had an younger brother they were otherwise occupied with, they died shortly after I left home.” I replied. “I left because it was clear what kind of life I was going to have, short, boring, and miserable. I thought I could make it better by leaving.” Stick as close to the truth as I could. 

“Where did you go after you left? How did you come to be a healer, and why did you decided to join the inquisition.” Three questions, three good questions. I furrowed my brow, looking at the war map beneath me, then to Solas, who gave me a nod. 

“I… I tried to join a group of Dalish, for a time… but that didn’t work out. I wasn’t very good at hunting, and I didn’t believe in the Creators in the same way they did. I went to Orlais, to try and start over, but I was still young, and people aren’t kind to elves. So I came back to Ferelden. I traveled for a little while, alone, studying herbs and animals, I worked on farms and did mercenary work where I could. Mostly cooking and cleaning, but then I started dressing wounds, learning from the other healers, reading books… it just sort of clicked with me I guess.

“While I was with the mercenaries the explosion in Kirkwall happened, I wanted to go, to help, but I couldn’t afford the venture, and my friends wouldn’t let go.” No one seemed interested in telling me to stop, clearly invested in the story that Cullen was writing every word of down. Probably to give to Leliana. I took a breath before continuing. 

“Soon after my friends were killed by Templars, we had a few apostates in the group and so they labeled us all as such. I was barely able to get away, tearing up my leg in the process. I made it to the crossroads, still shaken, where I healer fixed my leg. Then I met Solas, Ben, Varric and Cassandra.” I looked back up to Solas, who seemed completely unaffected by the story, as though I’d already told it to him. 

“Why did you join?” Cullen repeated, staring up at me from his chair. Ben was eerily quiet, either uninterested, or extremely interested, maybe a part of him suspected me as well. I moved my eyes from Solas, back to Cullen. 

“I fell in love.” I sighed, Ben sputtered a laugh next to me, then quickly swallowed it. Solas faltered for but a moment, his hands tightening around his staff. “I fell in love with the inquisitions purpose, with its people. I decided to stay because I thought I could be useful.” 

Solas released a breath, and Ben smiled up at me, shaking his head in disbelief. Cullen however, did not look amused, glaring up at me still. 

“Do you have any other questions, Commander?” I asked, careful to enunciate his title. He looked down at what little I gave him, there was no one in my past he could track down, I’d killed them all in the story I’d spun. All I’d really given him was Denerim, an elf from Denerim in the thousands. He had nothing. 

“One,” He sighed, rubbing his temples. “what happened to your brother?”

I blinked. My brother? Solas looked between the two of us with something akin to nervousness. Shit, had I not killed him off as well? I… I…

“I don’t know.” I replied. That caught his attention, the one hole in my story. 

“You never tried to find him?” He asked, writing something else down. 

“I… did, for a time. But… there were so many children who lost their parents.” I said, faltering. 

“Lost their parents from what?” He asked. 

“The blight,” I replied.

“As far as I know the alienage in Denerim was left nearly untouched during the blight, I believe it was the Hero of Ferelden in fact who ensured that they weren’t enslaved.” He was poking holes in my story, big holes, ones I wasn’t sure I could fill. I did the only thing a girl can do when lying to a man. 

I started crying. I hiccupped a few times, words catching in my throat, the biggest tears I could summon flowing from my now reddened eyes, I curled in on myself, saying things like, “I couldn’t help them,” and “I should’ve been there,” and like magic Cullen’s entire attitude changed.

Solas rushed to me, pulling me into a hug, just as I began to wail, burying my face in his chest. I went full on now, as he held me, I let my knees buckle, he made a grunting sound as suddenly he had to support both of how weight, I concealed my laughter with more tears. 

“That’s enough Commander,” Solas snapped as Ben jumped up to comfort me as well. I think Leliana would’ve been impressed with my manipulation of the stupider sex. A crying woman is a man's greatest fear. Solas escorted me out, whispering that it was okay, making sure that Cullen could see him whispering. Eventually I stopped crying, though my face was still twisted in the sorrowful expression, and I gave the occasional whimper. Ben walked the two of us to our cabin, assuring me that nothing like that would happen again, and that I should come see him before we leave tomorrow. With another kiss on the forehead, and a long bear hug from my favorite bear, he left the two of us standing side by side outside the cabin, with two matching smiles.  
We stepped back into the cabin, silently, he put a ward on the door and then turned back to me. 

“Did you see that?!” I squeaked, bouncing from one foot to the other like an over active child. 

“I was in the room, yes.” He chuckled, putting a hand on my head to settle me. 

“I totally lied to Cullen, it was so easy, well until he started talking about the blight, but then I just started crying! And he totally gave up!” I was doing a full victory dance now, wiggling this way and that with pride. Solas laughed again, moving past me. 

“Indeed they both seemed to crumble under your outburst.” He said, taking off his larger winter coat and hanging it on the wall. I mimicked him, removing my huge sweater and putting it next to his. 

“I mean you were pretty surprised too, weren’t you?” I asked as the two of us took our staffs off to lean them against the wall as well. He helped me unlatch it, amazingly it hadn’t been that much of an issue, though I did bump it on door ways once or twice. 

“I… did not expect it.” He said, remaining emotionless as he pulled the rest of his excess clothing off. He was wearing like four sweaters! 

I hummed in response, that was probably the most I was going to get out of him, and needed to go write down everything I told Cullen so wouldn’t forget it. I ducked into my room for a moment, grabbing my journal and a pen, before slumping down into my chair at the table. I didn’t pay much attention to Solas, furiously writing away as he made minimal noise. I made a few other notes, making up characters in my back story, giving life to a few of them, maybe a lover here or there. Though I doubted anyone would ask. I tried to keep the people as close to people who actually existed, based them off exes or family members… anyone I could think of. 

I was happily writing away when I heard Solas clear his throat next to me. I glanced over. He was sitting on the floor, which seemed to be a thing with us, holding a knife. 

I raised a brow. 

He cut his hand. 

I gasped and jumped down onto the floor with him, smacking away the knife and grabbing at his hand, applying pressure. 

“Solas!” I snapped, his crimson blood dripping to the floor. 

“I told you we were going to work on your healing magic,” He said, watching me as I struggled to keep the blood INSIDE his body. I don’t know how he seemed unaffected, as though he’d only pricked his finger. His entire palm was sliced open! 

“Okay so tell me what to do!” I whined, but he only chuckled in response. 

“You’re already doing it.” He replied, looking down to our joined hands. I followed his gaze to the now glowing blood beneath us, as it pulled itself back in. I moved my hand from his to watch as the wound began to stitch itself back up, reversing itself. I felt my mana slowly drain, pouring into Solas’ cut, it was exhausting, worse than running. 

I let out a breath as the remainder of the blood soaked back into his wound, and the wound itself vanished.

“Amazing,” Solas said breathlessly. “I knew you would be good, but something like that is-” my eyes fluttered closed, the drain of mana like blood rushing to my head, consciousness fading. “Whoa now,” Solas huffed, grabbing my shoulders to steady me. “I guess we need to work on your endurance first.” 

I chuckled as my eyes slid back open. “Cullen said the same thing,” at mention of Cullen, Solas’ eyes turned dark. He moved his hands from my shoulders to cup my cheeks, staring at me for a moment, before removing his hands. 

“You’re fine,” he said, “Just tired. I imagine today has been exceedingly draining.” He stood up and walked over to the door, pausing there for a minute. “I’ll fetch lunch, and then we can continue working.” 

The day went slowly after that, we ate lunch, and eventually dinner, and in between he showed me how to manipulate my energy, conserve it and not go all out like I had the first time. He had a near endless amount of mana, though he did start to wear down some time around nightfall. We talked about the orb he’d given me, after much prodding from me. Apparently he had a few of them, empty ones he’d recovered before coming to the inquisition, he’d given me the smallest to start, since I was still a fledgling mage. I expected the conversation to kick off towards the subject of his own orb after that, but instead he asked me more about the Ipad.

He was endlessly curious about it, amazed at how many different things it could do. At the end of the night he was laying on his bed, headphones in, playing fallout shelter. He looked like a teenager. I didn’t say that, I simply went back to the task he’d assigned me; pulling and pushing my mana in and out of my foci. It was a storage device, so to speak. It could hold a certain amount of energy, though I’d yet to reach its limit. It wasn’t made for someone like me, it was made for an ancient elf with limitless mana. 

I also learned that I could pull energy from Guardian, though he didn’t seem to like it when I did. I noticed right away that my mana and his were strikingly different. Mine tasted like mint while his was hot, angry almost. Curious, I reached out to Solas’ magic with my own, he detected me instantly, his eyes locking with mine. At first he kept me out, his doors closed and walls up, but then, realizing I just meant to look, he let me in and looked back to the Ipad.

Connecting to his magic, his ancient, vast magic, was exhilarating. I could feel his breath, his heart beat, each filled with power. It was damn near overwhelming. I felt again what I felt in the chantry, his presence. It was a smell and a taste, like he filled my senses. I wondered if it was like this for him when he sensed me. His eyes closed slowly, a long inhale that I could feel, causing me to do the same, before his eyes reopened, locked with mine. I pulled my mana away reluctantly. Being tethered to him, a basically endless pool of power, was intense. It was hard to release that. 

Swallowing my thoughts, I went back to the Foci, gradually feeding it until my well ran dry, then waiting for a time before beginning again. Solas… terrified me. I’d thought it before, that he was powerful and what not, but I’d never… felt it. There was a rage there, there was a pain, that could be released at any given moment. Irritatingly it only deepened my attraction to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm real excited about the next chapter... like, you guys don't even know. Fucking hype, shit is about to go DOWN


	15. Digging

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe I'm updating again already but... the chapters here? And I'd rather not hold onto it? Consider it my apology for not updating in like a month <3

I awoke the next morning on the floor of our shared cabin, with my blanket over top of me and my staff put away. It seemed that since I’d emptied myself into the Foci, I didn’t get the pleasure of being harassed by Guardian in my dreams. I rolled over to my stomach and stretched out, my joints popping in disapproval. I cracked my neck and sat up onto my knees, looking around blearily. I was rejuvenated, all of my mana back in full, I imagined it had something to do with our closeness to the rift, all that magic just pouring out. 

Solas was asleep, headphones still in, Ipad lying on his side table. I’d created a monster. I crawled over to the edge of his bed, his torso was out from under the blankets, one arm flung over his face and the other laying lamely off to the side. The way his head was angled I was sure he should be snoring, but his mouth was closed, chest moving evenly up and down as he breathed.

I let my eyes wander across his naked chest, the pink scar getting blatantly ignored as I ogled him. He was so smooth, every sculpted line and crease looked perfectly placed. His stomach was less tense then the few times I’d seen it, a soft belly with an innie belly button. I could barely see the hint of his trousers under the thick blanket, though I could make out that there was a strange sort of lump in said blanket, and a soft pang of disappointment hit me, surprising me. I didn’t need to see that. I wanted to, oh creators I wanted to. But I shouldn’t, can’t, really won’t look. 

I swallowed, raising a hand up, gripping the edge of the blanket… and then pulled it up over his chest. He groaned, happily welcoming the warmth as he rolled over into it, as I attempted to get my breathing under control. Just then there was a knock at the door, jolting me to my feet. Solas stirred but didn’t rise. A pretty heavy sleeper apparently. 

I walked over and cracked the door open, to find Ben, and three hot plates of food being expertly balanced on one arm. 

“Morning!” He chirped as I let him inside. I motioned for him to shush but he didn’t listen, tromping in and putting the food on the table rather unceremoniously. Solas groaned but refused to get up. I closed the door as quietly as possible, but Ben still didn’t get the hint, saying loudly. “It’s pretty cold outside, I guess it snows like all the time here.” 

It was just then that I realized why Solas was resisting sound so much; my fucking headphones were still blasting music in his ears. I practically dove across the cabin, yanking the ear buds out and wrapping them around my Ipad, kicking it under his bed. That however, did succeed in waking him up. 

“Melana!” He growled, pushing himself up and grabbing the base of my pointed ear, giving it a yank. I yelped in pain, swatting at him to try in vain to get him off. He contemplated exactly what kind of lecture he was going to give me as his heavy glare moved from me to Ben, then back to me. Not letting go of my ear, in fact, pinching it a little harder, he hissed. “That is a very irritating way to wake someone up da’len.”

I only whimpered in response, worried that he was going to rip my ear right off. 

“Sorry Solas,” Ben said, chuckled in fact. “I thought I’d bring the two of your breakfast,” he sat down, in my spot, and pointed to the platefuls of food he’d arranged for us. Thick slices of ham, buttered bread, bacon, eggs and a muffin on each individual plate. My mouth watered. Solas’ grip lessened, but he did not release me. 

“I also wanted to talk to Melana about a few things.” that made a pit in my stomach. A few things? What things? Bad things?? 

“Well we appreciate it, don’t we-” Solas pulled on my ear again, “-Melana?” 

“Yes! Thank you Serah Benjamin! Ow-ow, ow Solas please,” I whined, and he finally let go allowing me to hold my ear flat against my head, soothing the area he’d assaulted with a small amount of healing magic. He smirked. I scowled.

To accommodate having three people in our two chaired space, we pulled the table over to Solas’ bed, I thought he would just sit in it but when he took his usual spot, I realized I got the bed. I tried not to squeal as I slid onto Solas’ still warm bed. He eyed me as I pulled the blankets up over my head and started to shovel food into my mouth like a blanket monster. But he didn’t object. I had slept on the floor after all, its only fair I get to be a blanket monster. 

“So what did you want to talk to our dear Melana about Ser Herald?” Solas asked as he began picking all the vegetables out of his eggs. I wanted to stab him, partly because he needed to eat something green at some point, but mostly because I wanted Ben to forget his want to speak with me. Ben hummed, swallowing his too big of a bite. 

“That’s right,” He said, taking a quick drink of water to help his food down. “Melana,” he turned to me, and I looked up at him with big eyes from my den. He smiled. “I was hoping that while we’re in Orlais I could take you to some of the stores, get you some better armor. Since you apparently don’t have any.” 

I breathed a long sigh of relief, which both men took note of, I got a little chuckle from Ben and an eye roll from Solas. I nodded, mouth still full, humming my approval.

“And, since you aren’t coming with us when we go to meet The Chargers,” He started, looking down to his plate, pushing some food around with his fork. “While I’m gone, I want you to oversee everything.”

I near about choked. 

“It’s no big deal really! You’ll be doing mostly what you’d do as my advisor, just with more walking around, and telling people to do things.” He sounded like he was trying to convince himself. Solas and I exchanged a look that said, “Oh gods no,” before looking back to Ben. I swallowed my bite. 

“Ben, uh, I don’t know that I should be the one you pick for this… I uh, I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be doing as your advisor now?” He seemed to pick up on why I ended my sentence with a question mark, and started listing off things I’m supposed to do. 

Of which there were two.

“How you just have to tell me when something is a right or wrong choice, and give me counsel on matters I’m unsure about.” Oh excuse me, there was one thing, one thing I had to do. He just made it sound like more. 

“Ben, honey, sweet thing,” Solas raised a brow at my use of pet names. “Okay, one: Those are both the same thing. Two: I really would rather just come with you to the Storm Coast, honestly I’ll feel a thousand times more useful.” I reached over and put my hand on his. Which looked funny because I brought most of the blanket with it. In all honesty I would probably be better off staying in Haven, there were still things I needed to map out here, I wanted to find the old tunnel, make sure it was clear for our escape… maybe move around some provisions… but I didn’t want to miss out on meeting Bull. And I could do with some rain after all this snow.

So I was being selfish, sue me. 

Ben nodded his head slowly, thinking. 

“I suppose it would be better to have you with me,” he said thoughtfully. Breakfast continued in moderate silence after that, Ben leaving shortly after to pack, leaving us to do the same. Solas scooted the table and chairs back over, while I tried to set up a more defensive position in my ball of blankets. 

“You shouldn’t come to the Storm Coast Melana,” Solas sighed, leaning against the table. I folded in on myself, hiding in the corner. I knew I shouldn’t, but I wanted to. “Melana,” Solas groaned, I heard muffled footsteps and then felt the slight sink of the bed as more weight was applied to it. 

I didn’t respond. The weight shifted, moved closer. Something prodded my side.

“Melana,” He repeated, giving me a gentle push. I groaned in response. “We need to start packing, come out of there.” 

I didn’t respond. The weight shifted again, then I felt the slight tugging of the blankets, I squealed, trying to pull them back in. His hands retreated for a moment before returning in triplicate, he reached under, pulling the blankets out from the source, revealing my curled up form for but an instant before I rolled into it, creating the burrito anew. 

“Melana!” He snapped, but it wasn’t angry, in fact he sounded like he was laughing. His weight vanished, leaving me flushed and balled up on his bed, breathing in his scent. “You’re like an infant sometimes.” I heard his voice from across the room and popped my head out to look at him. 

He was facing away from me, pulling some things off of shelves to begin packing them. I kicked the blankets off, just watching him for a moment. Sitting up, barely breathing, I extended my aura. He flinched for a moment, his usual barriers high, but his shoulders relaxing when he recognized me, and he allowed me in once again. 

I was getting addicted to this, just feeling the pulse of his power. Whereas before he seemed content, this morning he was damn near jovial, happiness just radiating off of him. And something else, something deeper I couldn’t quite grasp, adoration? Pride? 

I pursed my brow, frustrated that I couldn’t tell. I pushed harder and there was a heat, a yearning I didn‘t recognize, an aching to touch her, feel her, taste- suddenly the walls were back up, and he was spinning around. 

His eyes locked with mine, his cheeks flushed in a way I’d never seen before, he looked surprised, and angry. Very angry. I shrunk under his gaze, not entirely understanding what I’d done, not knowing which lines I’d cross. He studied my face, waiting for a reaction. At first I thought perhaps they were my own emotions, my ridiculous lust bubbling out and portraying itself in him. But he took a step towards me, unsure of what to say, and I realized that wasn’t the case.

He wanted me, he… he yearned for me. My eyes widened at my sudden epiphany, I’d been entirely certain my feelings were one sided, that I was stupid for even hoping, and now that he was standing there, raw and exposed… I had no idea what to say. I broke eye contact, nervously jumping up from the bed, causing him to jerk back. 

“We should get packing, right?” I asked, picking my staff up from its leaning place next to his. His jaw tight, he nodded. “I’ll even bring the Ipad, though the battery is probably shit at this point, not a big deal, I’ve got a Solas charger- SOLAR- solar charger, it uh, charges with the heat of the sun. And you know, maybe I shouldn’t go to the Storm Coast, you’re probably right, you’re always right about literally everything, that’s why you’re like a thousand, haha!” I was rambling, yeah that’s great. Perfect way to deal with this situation. 

“Well I’m going to go get ready, good thing I didn’t sleep in my room last nightitsprobablystillclean!” my words blended together as I hurriedly raced into my room, leaving Solas standing there, confused, and probably very, very irritated. 

 

By the grace of the Creators Solas left while I was packing. I emerged from my room with my pack on, staff strapped to my back, wearing my usual outfit which was freshly washed, and his foot wraps. The cabin was empty, the fire put out, and my Ipad resting on the table on top of a book. I walked over to it, running my fingers over the screen. I pushed it aside to look at the book, on it was a small note: Study this. I took the parchment and put it in my pocket, examining the book itself. A healing tome. I smiled, flipping through a few pages.

Solas was in love with me. 

I fought back the blush, my heart pounding as I slammed the book closed, scrunching my nose… I jammed the book, Ipad and headphones in my pack, trying desperately not to think about the face he’d made when I’d… not thinking about it, nope. 

I did a quick look around the cabin before heading out.

It was snowing again, thick puffs falling to the ground around me, making me glad that I’d decided to wear Solas’ enchanted foot wraps instead of my own. Though I had packed them. I closed the door behind me and exhaled, watching my puff of hot breath float away before dissipating. I blinked in the daylight, the bright reflection of sunlight on the fresh, white snow causing me some discomfort. Unable to resist the temptation of untouched snow, I bounced up, slamming my feet into it with a loud crunch, tromping around in a circle to make sure I got all of it. Solas would have laughed.

“Shit,” I curse under my breath, I can’t stop thinking about him. I look around the small group of cabins, over to my bike which was still tied up, waiting for me with the fire wood. I marched over to it, the snow already up to my ankles making the walk somewhat inconvenient. 

I unlocked my bike, pushing it through the snow towards the stairs. I had plans for it in Orlais, and hoped we’d have a cart again so I wouldn’t have to carry it. Or ride it. Ugh. The snow fought against me but eventually I did make it down to the stables, where Ben, Solas, Varric and Cassandra were all standing, waiting for me. 

Ben waved, jogging over to take the bike from me and put it on what apparently was our wagon for the trip. 

“What’d you do to Solas?” He whispered as he pulled the bike from my grasp, not waiting for my response, he walked back over to the group, bike in hand, putting it on the cart. 

I looked at Solas, expecting his usual smirk or at least a wave, but he wasn’t even looking at me. He stood with his back to me, one hand on his Hart, speaking with Cassandra. My heart ached to say something, anything, to try and get his attention… but I was far too embarrassed. 

Huffing a sigh of defeat I followed Ben to the cart. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be late,” I apologized, I really hadn’t, I didn’t even know that we were supposed to meet at a certain time. But Ben shook his head. 

“You’re fine, we’re still waiting on the squad that’s escorting us… Solas said you didn’t want to ride,” He motioned to the cart. “So I figured you would just hop in the back here.” 

“What? Solas said… Oh, ah…” I looked back to Solas, whose face was now in my line of view. We made eye contact for but a millisecond before he returned to his conversation with Cassandra, his face cold and distant. I glared at him. “No yeah!” I started, a little too loudly, jarring Ben. “I don’t want to ride, I’m sure I’ll be much more comfortable in the cart!” 

Solas glanced back up, still looking rather indifferent to the whole thing, while I looked positively pissed off. He didn’t want to ride with me? Fine! I wouldn’t ride with him! I’d enjoy a nice quiet ride on the cart all the way to Orlais! 

Still angry, I attempted to climb onto the cart. With my pack on, I couldn’t quite get up there, I’m sure Solas was LOVING watching me struggle. I started to just get more and more irritated until I felt two hands grab underneath my arms, and lift, plopping me onto the wagon. I stumbled inside, looking back to see Ben with a goofy grin. 

I snorted a laugh, which turned into a whole fit of laughter before taking my bag off and sitting down across from it, and my bike. I wasn’t the only thing in the wagon, there was a lot of food, a few large red pieces of fabric that I recognized as tents, and two barrels of wine. Just a few things to keep me company. At least it was covered, so I wouldn’t get snowed on, though it didn’t do much for the cold.

“Sorry,” I said in between laughs. “I misjudged the height of it.” 

Ben only smiled, nodded, and then walked back over to the group, leaving me to watch longingly as they packed up their mounts. I couldn’t keep my eyes off Solas for very long, my gaze always returning to him. I still had no idea how to… approach this. Obviously he was mad at me, I shouldn’t have pushed so hard, I shouldn’t have pushed at all. 

Eventually the squad appeared, none of which I knew, and everyone started getting on their horses and harts. I pulled my knees against my chest, trying to force myself to look away from Solas.

The cart shook a bit as the person driving it got on the front, and his companion next to him. I glanced in their direction, armored, both ignoring me. I looked back to the group. To my surprise, there was an extra Hart, and another horse that no one was riding. Two extra mounts? 

Just then, Ben appeared in front of me, lifting himself up onto the cart and planting himself at my side, throwing an arm around me and pulling me against him. 

“I can’t let you ride all by yourself, how terribly boring.” He said with a wink, giving me a slight squeeze before letting me go. I could feel my entire body relaxing, thank the gods I wouldn’t be alone, stuck in a box staring at Solas the entire time. 

“Thanks Ben,” I giggled, punching his side, getting another one of his big bearded smiles. The cart started shaking, and then moving, as our trip began. I gave another quick look to Solas, hoping to sate my thirst for the time, and saw that he was finally showing an emotion. Disgust. He looked absolutely irate, glaring at Ben and I. When we made eye contact, his expression returned to that of a blank slate and we were off. 

We traveled for a few hours, Ben and I cuddled up in the back, wrapped in a blanket together for a time as it was quite chilly. We talked about what I’d been learning, at one point I pulled out the book, and the two of us spent a long while reading together, quietly muttering about one spell or another. I knew Ben needed healing training, maybe the two of us could learn together. 

We stopped for lunch at a point, and I hopped off the cart, stretching out and yawning, before I heard Ben shout “Look out below!” And the oaf almost jumped on me. Luckily, using my amazing elven speed, he only managed to get his arm around my torso to drag me down to the ground with him. Lots of laughing, and teasing later, we sat down for lunch. It was small, and I was still pretty full from the huge breakfast we’d had, so I wrapped up my bread and cheese to eat later. I did go to the bathroom though, not knowing how much longer we’d ride until making camp. 

Once back on the cart Ben took to telling me stories about his time in the circle, laughing and sighing occasionally. At some point I wrapped the blanket around myself and laid down in his lap, falling into a dreamless sleep. I woke a few hours later, when Ben shifted me off of him to get up, apparently it was time to make camp. I sat up, wiping my eyes and yawning as Ben hopped down off the cart.

“Benjamin,” Solas called as he dismounted, making a quick pace towards us. I laid back down, rolling over to try and ignore him. “A word?” 

“Of course Solas.” The weight of the cart shifted as people started unloading it from the front. “Don’t mind Mel, she’s fast asleep.” 

“Indeed.” His voice was emotionless as he spoke. “It was her I wanted to discuss actually. Perhaps she would be better suited staying in your cabin when we return, it seems she has… feelings towards you.”

…Excuse me. It took all of my willpower not to jump up and smack him, FEELINGS?! Towards Ben!? He was like… my goofy older brother! What the hell would make Solas think I liked him?

“What?” Ben stuttered it, apparently also surprised by Solas’ confession for me. “W-what makes you think that?” 

“It is blatantly obvious, she has been showering you with attention all day, or have you not noticed?” Solas was almost snapping at him, clearly irritated. Part of me wanted to roll over to try and see his face, I bet it was blank, I bet he was just standing there, angry and annoyed, but not showing it at all. 

“Showering me with… Solas no, I don’t think she…” Ben was quiet for a minute before continuing. “I doubt she has those kinds of feelings for me. But if you want me to I’ll arrange for her to be moved to a different cabin.”

I didn’t want to change cabins! I was perfectly fine sleeping in Solas’ closet, which sounds weird, but I was. 

“I believe that would be best, for all involved.” Solas replied before shuffling off. I fought back tears, Solas didn’t want me living with him anymore? Because of this morning? I knew that I’d crossed a line but… I thought he knew how I felt. I thought he understood that our feelings were mutual. As soon as I was sure he was gone, I sat up. 

Not saying anything to Ben, I threw my legs over the edge of the cart and hopped down, heading to the camp fire that they had already started. We were well enough out of the snowy area, though it was still terribly cold, so I brought the blanket with me. Sitting by the fire and glaring into it. 

Over the next hour they made dinner, set up the tents, and worked out a guard shift while I sat and scowled, unwilling to move. Ben tried to talk to me a few times, sitting down by me and prompting me with questions or ideas of what we could do to help around camp. But I just sat, and stared. Thinking. 

I went over the morning again and again in my head, something that I hadn’t wanted to do to begin with. I hated thinking about embarrassing moments, but I must have done something else, not just violating his mind, that wouldn’t spark his sudden desire to move me out. Something else… something else… 

I hadn’t returned the emotions. 

My eyes widened in realization, I was such an idiot. He’d been standing there, waiting for me to say something, he hadn’t been angry. He’d been scared. He was unsure that I felt the same. And then I went and avoided the subject, I’d ran, I’d… rejected him. 

My eyes snapped up from the fire to Solas, who was standing outside one of the tents, talking to Varric. He thought I’d rejected him, he actually thought I was in love with Ben. I don’t blame him actually, based on the way I’d been acting all day. Blatantly ignoring him and instead fawning over Ben, but I was just being my usual cuddly self. It hadn’t exactly been the warmest on the road, and Ben had been kind enough to ride with me. 

Solas’ conversation ended with Varric and he looked around the camp as the dwarf walked off, scanning it. His eyes rested on me and he seemed taken aback by my stare, which I refused to move. I held him there with my gaze, unmoving. He blinked a few times, surprised, then smiled, sadly almost, before nodding his head, and ducking into his tent. 

“What is going on with you two?” Ben scoffed next to me. I jumped, totally unaware that he was still there, he’d been talking to me at some point but I’d completely tuned him out. He handed me a cup, and I took it with a sigh. 

“After you left this morning I uh… I was practicing extending my aura into his and I accidentally dug too deep.” I stared into the cup, water. I took a sip. 

“Oh Maker,” Ben winced. “you didn’t hurt him did you?”

“What? No,” I tilted my head back, staring up at the clear night sky. “I uh… I found out that he’s… well he has…” 

“Feelings for you?” Ben finished it for me and my head snapped towards him, surprised. “Yeah, I caught on to that faster than either of you did.”

I blinked a few times, clearly confused.

“You seriously didn't know? He was so jealous today, with you snuggling up to me, and then he went and told me you were in love with me? And yes I know you were awake during that conversation.” I smirked into my cup as he spoke. “Solas hasn’t been able to stop smiling since you got here, and you blush every time he’s in the room.”

Cue the blushing, I hid my face in my drink. Ben nudged me with his elbow. “But what I don’t get is you’re clearly in it deep, why is he mad at you? What for pulling the emotions out of him before he was ready?” 

I shook my head, scowling now. “No, I didn’t- I didn’t tell him that I feel the same.”

It was Ben’s turn to look surprised.

“Not on purpose!” I squeaked, moving my cup from my mouth and shaking my head. “I didn’t expect to find that when I was in his head, it, well it shocked me. So I pretended it didn’t happen and I guess he-”

“He thought you were rejecting him.” Ben, finishing my sentence again, said with a knowing nod. “Sounds like you need to talk to him.” 

I groaned, burying my face between my knees. Why couldn’t he just know how I feel? Why couldn’t he…

“Ben?” I chirped, putting my cup down next to me to look up at him. He hummed in response, eyes fixed on the trees ahead of us. We were in a small forest alcove just off the road, surrounded by wilderness. “Since I basically read his mind with magic, is there a way to do that except backwards? Like put my thoughts in his?” 

“Well… yes, generally that would be like trying to control a person. But I see what you’re getting at. You COULD just talk to him, but if you want to go a different route… ask him to go in your mind.” He spoke but his eyes were still locked on the forest line. Looking back and forth, almost glaring. I followed his gaze. 

It was dark out, darker with the thickness of trees looming about, and quiet, save the crackling of the fire. I squinted, and saw the slight flick of movement in the distance. A deer? Another shift in the darkness. 

“Ben-”

“I see it,” He stood up, a hand extended to me. I took it, lifting myself up. A shriek in the distance. Everyone flinched, turning towards the cry. The sounds of weapons drawing all around me, I pull my staff off the ground.

For just a moment everything is quiet, dead silence, no one breathes, or moves, then, with next to no warning, a barrage of arrows falls from the tree line. Ben steps in front of me, casting a shield to block us, arrows digging halfway into it before stopping. Others are not so lucky, two guards go down, one with an arrow to the chest, another to the head. 

Men jump from the shadows, going for the already downed soldiers, Ben drops the barrier and with a yell, runs towards the nearest bandit. Solas and Varric emerge from their tent and immediately jump into action. I however am at a loss of what to do, everyone is running around me, generally ignoring me, and Guardian is practically pulsating on my arm. 

I do what a healer does best. The guard with the shot to the chest is only four feet in front of me, I dive to his side, dropping my staff to the ground to grab at the arrow. He groans but I still him. His chest plate took most of the damage, he probably only fell out of shock. I grab the arrow and yank it out, a small trail of blood coming with it, he gasps out in pain but I put my palm to his chest, extending a small amount of healing until the wound closes. He jumps back up with a thank you to me, and he’s off, back to the fight. 

The other one, the one with the arrow to the head, was not so lucky, not only was she too far for me to get to, she wasn’t moving. The arrow went straight through her eye and back out the other side. Gone. 

I hurried back up, just in time to see Ben get a slice across the arm, picking my staff back up I quickly toss a healing spell in his direction, rejuvenating him mid battle. Go me. Unfortunately, I’d been looking forward, and not behind me. A sword came at my back, with intent to stab, but instead met a hard, wooden object. I spun on the contact, Guardian had blocked the blow, and was now spreading into the man's armor. It was rather terrifying to watch, the way he traveled up the poor man like a snake, his own armor tightening, crushing his bones. Terrible snaps and pops, a short scream turning into a gurgle, and he was gone. 

Guardian, feeling satisfied with himself, slid back up onto my arm. He was going to be smug about that. 

Turning back to the main group of fighters I saw Solas in close combat, sword to staff, Varric hiding behind a tree while firing Bianca, and Cassandra beating the ever loving fuck out of some poor bandit. It seemed I wasn’t very lucky in the way of having my back turned, because just then an arm appeared, wrapping around my neck to hold me in place, and a hand grabbed onto Guardian, an electric shock subduing him before he could attack my assailant. 

“STOP!” The man yelled, and everyone paused, turning to look in the voices direction. A crackling ball of electricity hovered between his hand and my head. “Drop your weapons, give us your gold, and I won't kill her.” 

Solas spun around, looking desperately at me, breathing heavily, he dropped his staff. Ben and Varric did the same, and eventually Cassandra did as well. They lowered to the ground on their knees, hands behind their heads as the remainder of the bandits collected their winnings. The man holding me knocked my staff down, kicking it away. I could feel my stored power, just out of reach. My own mana near depleted from the measly two spells I’d done. 

He pushed my hair aside, digging his chin into the crook of my neck. 

“What a good girl,” he hissed against my skin. “Maybe I’ll just keep you all for me, I’m sure your friends wouldn’t mind.” 

“That wasn’t the deal!” Solas growled, I could feel him from there, tensing with rage, barely containing himself. 

“I said I wouldn’t kill her,” The man replied, pressing his body fully against mine. “Didn’t say I wouldn’t have fun with her first.” I don’t know why he thought it was smart to antagonize his fellow mage, could he not feel the power pulsating off of him?

His hand slid down my shirt to grip my breast firmly, and I snapped. My mana dry, and my foci too far for me to pull from it, I instead pulled from Guardian. Something I’d hardly even practiced. His mana hot and angry, fueling my own rage. I reached up, grabbing his hand that contained lightning and pulled it forward, flipping him over my shoulder and onto the ground. I put my foot to his chest and twisted his arm, the lightning fracturing off, hitting one of his men as he screamed. 

I swirled around, hands ablaze, and thrusted my fist into the air, with a pillar of fire, two of the bandits were launched into the woods, each with a scream that got quieter the further they went. I looked between the rest of the men, all frozen in place holding food and gold. 

“Uh… Drop what you have and leave!” I shouted, and to my amazement, they listened, dropping what little they’d managed to scavenge in the few minutes where we’d surrendered, and running off into the woods. 

I let out a breath, making a mental note to apologize to Guard in the future. Everyone started cheering, but Solas was making a beeline for me. I flinched as he grabbed my face in his hands, examining me. 

“Are you alright?” He asked but his tone was sharp, clearly beyond pissed. I couldn’t even respond before he started speaking again. “You should be more careful.” 

I huffed in annoyance, the first time he talks to me since this morning and he’s chastising me. For saving them. 

He turned his attention from me to the man on the ground, just behind me, with his arm bent a very wrong way. I’d meant to dislocate it but by the looks of it I’d probably broken it as well. Solas near about growled as he lifted the crying man off the ground, by his broken arm. I hadn’t seen it before, Solas’ rage, I’d been unconscious the last time he faced someone who had assaulted me. This time, I was glad I was awake. 

He put his foot to the man's face and with barely a yank, his arm tore off, getting thrown to the side, still twitching. I took a step back out of shock, the man's screams filling the camp, everyone turned to look, growing quiet. 

“You dare assault Melana!?” Solas yelled, he sat atop the man, pulling his armor off to expose where he’d wrenched his arm from. Solas put his hand to the man's shoulder, casting a fire spell, sizzling the flesh to stop the bleeding. “You dare put your hands on her!?” 

Ben stepped toward me, unwilling to tell Solas to stop, he put a hand on my arm. I looked back to Ben, then to Solas. 

“Solas,” I said softly, but he didn’t react, burning the man until his screams faded and he fell unconscious. “Solas!” I repeated it, louder, I kneeled down, yanking his hand away. His glare turned to me, confused, then, softened. The flames subsided, he examined my face, and then, as though remembering everything from the last 12 hours, he went back to his blank, emotionless expression. He stood up, apologized, and walked back into his tent. 

I looked down to the unconscious man, moving to his side to examine the damage. Where his arm had once been was now a deep handprint, flesh and bone melted away. I checked his pulse, but it seemed he had died from sheer shock. 

I looked up to Ben, his eyes hopeful, but I shook my head, and he sighed. 

I needed to talk to Solas, and soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much in one chapter! I was really excited about this one, I hope you guys liked it ehehehe... I'm still writing a ton, and I don't have to work until wednesday, so... I expect another update within the next few days. If not tonight :DDDDD


	16. Realizing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That moment when you actually write enough/well enough to update three times in 24 hours @v@
> 
> SERIOUSLY you guys are amazing!! Thank you guys so much for all the sweet comments- I'm going to go to sleep now and will continue writing tomorrow... if I ever regain consciousness.

We burned what bodies had been left over, and doubled the night's watch, no one was eager to be attacked again, so multiple people volunteered. I couldn’t bring myself to eat, still processing the events of the evening. Solas never came back out of his tent, and I found I would be sharing mine with Cassandra. Once I was sure everything was secure, I climbed into my cot- a fancy one this time, lucky me- and fell right asleep.

Once again, I found myself with a dreamless sleep, far too exhausted to enjoy the fade. That or I was avoiding Guardian, I’m sure he wasn’t happy with me. Either way, no dreams.

I woke to the sounds of people talking hours later, working, and loading up the cart. I gathered my things up and got dressed in the same clothes from the day before, cringing when I saw the blood splashed across the sleeves.

Maybe Ben knew a spell to get blood out.

Dressed, and still tired, I emerged from the tent. As soon as I did someone went in behind me to start breaking everything down, carefully pushing past me. I apparently slept through breakfast, so I ate the lunch I’d saved from yesterday after plopping down next to the dead fire. I ate in silence, went to the bathroom again, and then went to get onto the cart.

“Dewdrop,” Varric's voice stops me in my tracks, I turn to face him. He’s sauntering over, carrying a pack about his size, with Bianca in his hands. I wondered momentarily where he kept his bolts, in his pack maybe? Did Bianca just produce them? “I’ll ride on the cart today, we brought you a ride anyway. Go on,” He pointed to the hart I’d noticed before, the one without a rider.

“You just want to sleep the whole way don’t you?” I chuckled, smiling down at him. I tried to hide my excitement, I really missed riding.

“You caught me,” He replied, already walking past me to get onto the cart. I turned to watch him struggle for a minute before helping him up. It was hard for me to get on, no way he could do it alone. “Have fun.” he added with a wink.

With that, I headed over to the Hart that was apparently mine. A female, tan and white with little spots around her rear and on her nose. She saw me coming up and eyed me nervously. I extended a hand, she sniffed, then nuzzled, looking for food. When she found none she grew bored and turned back to the ground to chomp on some grass. I moved to her side, taking my pack off and strapping it to her back; she didn’t seem to care about anything but a very delicious patch of grass.

I pulled the book out of my bag and climbed up onto her back. She made a huff of annoyance, but other than that, seemed uncaring.

“You planning to read that all the way to Orlais?” Ben asked as he walked by, holding a stack of firewood. I propped the book up on her neck and looked down to him.

“I might, you mind towing me so I don’t have to pay attention?” I pouted, but it wasn’t necessary, he chuckled and nodded, winking at me before heading to the cart, dropping the wood next to Varric, who put his feet up on them. The wink actually flustered me, I hadn’t expected it to but… there was something about a sweaty, bearded man with large… strong… arms… I opened my book, burying my face in it.

Nope, none of that now. I didn’t need to think about Ben and his big strong arms, those were not for me.

Ben came back over, grabbing my reins and hooking them to his horse, leaving me sitting comfortably with my book. I read for a good twenty minutes, just studying healing runes and quick heals before I started to move. I looked up to see that the camp was all packed up, and the caravan was on the move.

I noticed for the first time the two driving the cart were in fact Templars. I’d thought that they were just guards, but the armor, and the way they kept glancing back at me… those were Templars. Templars Cullen probably assigned to this mission. Why they hadn’t attacked me last night during the fray was beyond me, but I decided to return to ignoring them.

Cass was in front of me, riding and chatting with Ben, and Solas was ahead of them, clearly trying to further his avoidance of me. I sighed. I returned to my book. I’d learned quite a bit so far just from it, the spell I’d used on Ben before was one of the things the book taught me. An aimed healing spell, it wouldn’t work for bigger things, but for a quick health boost it can certainly do the trick.

I got about halfway through the book before I realized I didn’t feel all too well. Apparently elves can get motion sickness, because I was about to throw up. I slammed the book closed, pulling on the reins, causing Ben and I to both stop.

“Mel?” Ben called, turning in his saddle just in time to see me topple off my mount, barely catching myself on the ground to vomit up the contents of my stomach. “Melana!”

Ben tumbled off his horse, halting the caravan to run by my side. He pulled my hair behind my head, patting my back.

“I didn’t think I’d get motion sickness, I’m sorry,” I said in between gags, trying to stand up to wipe my mouth off. Ben only chuckled, picked the book up from the ground, and handed it to me. He grabbed my arm, lifting me the rest of the way up.

“Don’t scare me like that again,” He said, walking me back over to our mounts. My eyes glazed over the caravan, and I saw Solas, halfway to us, turn and walk back to his own hart. Idiot, he was trying to act distant but everything he did showed how much he cared.

I hid a smile as I got back on my hart, with Ben’s help, and looked on ahead. Solas wasn’t the only one who was halfway to us. The Templars had their swords drawn, staring directly at me. I blinked, shocked, hoping maybe they thought I was in danger, as they sheathed their swords, and headed back to the front of the cart.

I tucked my book back into my pack, taking the reins from Ben, and moved towards the front of the caravan, next to Solas.

He glanced at me, but didn’t say anything. Okay I guess I had to be the adult here.

“Hey,” I chirped, waving over at him.

“Hello,” He replied flatly.

“I’m uh, fine, in case you were wondering. Just read too much I guess,” I chuckled nervously. He hummed and nodded, seemingly satisfied with my reasoning. He didn’t look at me, didn’t glance my way, just kept staring at the cart in front of us. I grimaced, this was awkward, waaay too awkward.

“So last night was crazy, right?” I leaned forward, trying to catch his eye. He only nodded. I squinted, I knew he could see me. “Yeah it was awesome when I sent those two guys flying!” I laughed nervously. He nodded.

“But hey about yesterday morning-” he winced, glared over at me, and then turned his hart around to ride at the back of the caravan. Fucking hell. I groaned, planting my face on my harts neck, getting a slight groan from her as well. “-I love you toooo…” I whispered.

“Wow Dewdrop, how’s your foot taste?” Varric cackled from the cart in front of me. I scowled down into her fur, not giving him a response. “So the power couple of the inquisition is struggling huh?”

I shot up, adjusting my back.

“Shut up Varric.” I snapped, Cassandra snorted a laugh from behind me.

I guess I’d have to talk to Solas in a little bit more of a private situation, I’d trap him, tonight, in his tent. Corner him like a rat. Or like a wolf. I chuckled to myself, Varric looked concerned. We rode for a few more hours without much conversation, I missed the games we’d played before, on our trip to Haven, but no one seemed willing. Varric slept through our lunch break, not even noticing when we took back up to the road, Solas remained as far away from me as possible, and Ben just kept chatting with Cassandra. I couldn’t even tell what those two were talking about, just mumbling to one another with the occasional laugh… bastards.

Bitter, and wanting to read my book, I asked if we were planning to make camp.

“If we ride through the night we’ll be at Val Royeaux by lunch tomorrow,” Solas called from the back. I glared in his direction, wondering if he was aware of my plan to trap him. He didn’t look at me.

“Solas is right,” Ben sighed, obviously not happy about it either. “It won’t be the best thing in the world for the horses, but I’d like to get there quickly.”

I grumbled my disapproval under my breath, grinding my teeth to keep quiet. My ass hurt, for one, secondly I was never going to get to talk to Solas if he kept finding new excuses to ignore me.

“Oh let’s just keep riding so I don’t have to deal with the fact that Melana might not like me, waaah, I’m a big baby….” Not realizing I said that out loud, I made eye contact with Varric, who had the biggest smile I’d ever seen on his face, and immediately burst into laughter. “Shut UP VARRIC!” I screeched, blushing wildly. Cassandra joined in his laughter, not hearing the initial mocking of Solas of course.

So we rode through the night, now I’ve never ridden at night so I wasn’t sure what to expect, but it was dark, very dark. Mostly because it was cloudy, so the moon and stars was obscured. Luckily we elves have dark vision, so I was fine. But the shemlen had trouble. For a while they tried lighting torches, but that attracted some unwanted attention. Another group of bandits, and a pack of wolves later and Solas and I were leading the caravan side by side, ropes from the cart attached to us.

In the darkness I could see him, staring on ahead, grey blue eyes cold and glowing slightly. I took a deep breath, looking to the road as well, I extended my aura into his. His walls were high, higher than usual. I started gently, trying to coax him to let me in, but he refused. I scoffed in irritation.

“Solas,” I snapped. “If you’re not going to let me in then that’s fine,” he glanced over at me, as though he didn’t know WHAT I was talking about. “But I would like to ask that you please… do me instead.”

I wasn’t exactly sure how to phrase it, and from the way his brow rose and he started to smirk, I probably phrased it wrong. He didn’t, however, explore my mind. He just looked forward, and continued ignoring me. I waited for hours, hoping maybe he was just hesitant, but the feeling of his aura against mine never came.

The sun rose, and the two of us were freed from our guiding position, moving back behind the cart and separating, with my aura still untouched by his. I was feeling a little more than frustrated by this point. The word LIVID comes to mind.

However.

Those emotions faded away as we approached the outskirts of the city, and were replaced by awe. There was a town surrounding it, of course, but the Val Royeaux you see in game is nothing in comparison to the actual city, immense, marbled, and by the creators so many castles and colours. My mouth hung open as the dirt road turned to stone underneath us, fields turned into house, houses into multi coloured buildings.

I pulled my hart off to the side and handed the reins to Ben, running to catch up to the cart.

“Stop, stop!” I called to the Templars driving it. The pulled the wagon to a halt, looking back at me nervously.

“What is it Dewdrop?” Varric asked from his cozy little spot between the firewood and our tents. I jumped up, grabbing my bike, which had been essentially shoved all the way to the front, and pushed it out, making a loud CLANG sound on the concrete. Concrete? Marble maybe? Who cares, it was even ground that would be easy to ride on. One of the main reasons I brought the bike in the first place.

“Oh are you finally going to use that hunk of metal?” Varric snorted, jumping down onto the ground with me. I picked the bike up, dusting myself off before slinging my leg over it. If Varric was a little smaller he could fit in the basket… no, he’d surely break it at his size.

“Oh I’m gonna use it alright,” I sneered down at him, putting my foot to the pedal, and pushing off. The gears weren’t correct, so it made a few angry popping sounds. “I- shit hold on,” I switched gears. “Okay- I want you to watch how cool this is Varric.”

I took off, barreling down the main road for about 50 feet, before doing a sharp U-turn and then heading back down towards them. It was Varric’s turn to be in awe, staring slack jawed as I rode up and down the street, waiting for the group to catch up. I startled a few people who were simply walking around, fancy masks on, gasping as I zoomed by. It was exhilarating, my back stretching out after days of riding, my hair whipping up in the wind, the faces of my friends lighting up at the sight of me.

We rode the rest of the way into town like that, me just a little bit ahead of them, doing circles whenever they paused to look at a map, keeping a good distance from the horses who really didn’t like the bike. Eventually we came to the Inn we had rooms rented at, and I had to dismount.

Several people came up to me, asking questions about it, but I just told them it was a design by the inquisition, which sparked all of their interests. I would have to hide the bike tonight, out of fear of it getting stolen. I instructed one of our caravan members- not one of the Templars, to hide it for me, and he happily agreed. I recognized him as the man from before, the one who had an arrow to the chest, I would need to learn his name at some point.

I pulled my hair up into a ponytail as I made my way towards the door of the Inn, but was blocked by what I believed to be the most pretentious looking guards I’d ever seen.

“Excuse me Ser,” I said, trying to move past them, but they stopped me, putting a hand out into my path. I stopped, taking a step back. “I would like to pass.”

“What’s your business here knife-ear.” One of them snapped, I bristled at the slur, my eye twitching. I really needed the inquisition seal stamped on me somewhere, so this didn’t happen. I cleared my throat.

“I am intending to go to my room, which has been reserved for me, as I am an advisor of the inquisition. If you would please move within the next six seconds, I will refrain from reporting you for detaining me.” I replied sharply, the two of them clearly stunned by my response. They exchanged a glance, unsure if I was telling the truth, before looking back down to me, and then moving aside.

Well there goes my good mood.

The Inn wasn’t crowded, as apparently it didn’t double as a tavern like I’d assumed, but instead had a rather lovely forayer with uncomfortable looking chairs and a few tables. It looked like an over priced B&B, complete with the old couple sitting behind the counter at the end of the room.

Ben was waiting for me at the front desk, and when I walked in he waved me over.

“Took you long enough,” He teased, throwing his usual arm around me. He must have been like a full foot taller than me, the way his arm rested perfectly on my shoulders.

“Yeah the guards gave me a little trouble.” I sighed, and he hummed knowingly. Not much to do about it, Orlais was known for its… ways with elves. We walked up some stairs, to a long hallway with multiple sets of doors, large chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. It was like a really fancy hotel. I wonder if they had room service.

“You’re first door to your right, I’m just across from you…“ Ben dropped a key into my hand. “And Solas is next to mine.” he added with a wink. I blushed, taking the key. Ben knew about my plan to confront Solas, so it’s not like he was insinuating anything, not really. He kissed my forehead and then said goodnight, even though it was literally noon; the only one who wanted to be awake was Varric.

I walked over to my door, which was already open, with my bag sitting on a fainting couch at the end of the bed. I closed and locked the door behind me, looking around the rather large room. A white fluffy bed, with green highlights in the pillows and duvet, a dark wooden dresser by the bed, a desk in the near corner, and a separate door, leading off to a bathroom which I was excited to explore. But first, I pulled my sweater off, feeling a little too hot for Orlais, and tossed it on the bed. I continued to peel off sweat covered layers, draping them over the headboard, which was masterfully carved. Too bad it got to hold my dirty laundry. I left on my favorite green bra and matching panties, walking over to the bathroom door.

It was a claw foot tub. Beautiful, gorgeous, marbled, claw foot tub, with a strange string in the wall that led off to… I assume whomever was meant to bring me hot water. There was also what looked like a toilet, which was far grander than what we had in Haven; A carved out hole in the ground in an outhouse.There was a mirror, a full body mirror to be exact, and a water basin for face washing, full of ice cold water. A few towels sat around the room, big, fluffy towels, waiting to be used.

A dejected sigh slipped from my lips as I realized I probably shouldn’t request a bath. Everyone else was probably taking one. Why should I bother the service staff as well… on the other hand, if they’re heating the water up anyway… I pulled the string, the distant sound of a bell going off filled me with excitement. I hoped they had a mage that just magically made hot water, and that they didn’t have to boil it all. I should learn how to do that.

The image of Solas taking a bath in a similar tub danced across my mind and I had to suppress my giggles as I waltzed back into the bedroom, pushing my pack onto the ground and sprawling out on the fainting couch, yanking my ponytail out. I pulled my book out of my pack, eager to get back to it.

I was only a few pages in when there was a knock at the door. Beyond thrilled I tossed the book aside, grabbing my thinner, brown sweater and throwing it on. A quick spin to make sure you couldn’t see my ass, and I was opening the door.

To Solas.

I stepped back, surprised.

“S-solas.” I stuttered, my happy expression fading. He looked at me, and then looked at what I was wearing. I followed his gaze, realizing that this sweater wasn’t exactly the most… opaque thing I owned. Safe to say he could see just about everything. His eyes snapped back up to mine.

“I wanted to speak with you about our goals while we are in Orlais,” He said flatly. Oh, so this was a business meeting. I stepped to the side, allowing him in. I slightly regretted stripping the minute I arrived, or I guess, I regretted tossing my clothes all over the bed, making me look like a total slob. I closed the door behind me, locking it once again. “I believe we should seek out Briala, if what you’ve said is true, then the Empresses niece has most likely already been contacted by Corypheus.”

I huffed in annoyance, walking over to my pack and bending over to dig out my journal. I could practically feel his eyes baring holes into my ass as I did. Whatever, come into my room while I’m waiting for a bath, it's your own fault.

I sat down on the couch, pulling my knees against my chest to use as a surface to write, opening to a fresh page to begin writing things down. When he didn’t keep speaking I looked up to him, a brow raised.

And then I felt it, his aura brushing gently against mine. I flinched at the feeling, I’d never had anyone’s magic come at mine, it was always the other way around. I searched his face, and found he was nervous, still unsure this was the thing to do. He was like a scared animal, ready to run out the door if I did so much as moved too quickly.

I looked back down to my notebook, pretending I felt nothing I began lowering whatever walls I had, if any, and slowly he edged his way in. My heart was beating a mile a minute, not knowing how to show him my feelings, if I even could. Having his energy in mine was sending shudders down every inch of my body, a completely different feeling than having mine in his.

It felt idiotic that we had to do it this way, that we couldn’t just talk about it. The minute I thought that however He spoke.

“Would you rather we… talked, about the other day?” He had never sounded so insecure, so scared of my rejecting him again, and I feared something similar. What if I cared for him far more than he cared for me? What if this was all some foolish confusion? Perhaps I’d only sensed lust and imagined it was… more. I slid my feet onto the floor and put the notebook to my side, standing up. I wrung my hands together in front of me, unable to look at him. I took a step forward, he took one back. Scared animal, I had to remind myself, not moving forward again.

“You have feelings for me.” I whispered, still looking at his feet. They were nice feet, for someone who just wore foot wraps all the time.

“I.. yes.” He responded, hands tight at his side. He sighed, relaxing his hands. “And you do not feel the same.”

“What?” I snapped, looking up to him. He took another step back, startled by my sudden outburst. “Solas, you haven’t even asked.”

“You- Melana you ran out of the room when you violated my mind, digging the truth out of me.” He scoffed, clearly taken aback by my response. This was quickly turning into an argument, with little help from me.

“I didn’t know what I was doing!” I shouted, throwing my arms into the air only to cross them under my chest, puffing up like an angry bird. “And of course I did, how was I supposed to respond?”

At the time I honestly hadn’t been sure what I was doing, I knew I was probably going to get in trouble for it, sure, but I didn’t think…

“You could have responded positively! But obviously you feel too deeply for Ben to even notice me,” Solas snapped back, an accusing finger pointing at me. It shocked me every time; his ability to sound so insecure.

“I don’t feel deeply for Ben!” I scoffed back, my arms falling to my sides, “He’s like my older brother, fuck Solas, I was just surprised alright, I didn’t think you’d feel that way about me, I got scared and I ran.”

He paused, lowering his hands to his sides as well, quiet, thinking.

“Would you say you’re expecting it now?” He asked, voice still quiet, eyes darting between mine. I didn’t respond, confused. He rephrased. “Would you be surprised, would you run?”

“…No,” I replied, far softer than my previous yelling voice. I wondered if anyone had heard our exchange, if Ben was outside with his ear to the door. Solas took a wary step towards me, then another, until he was just in arms reach. I recalled what I’d said to Tannis, that having him at arm's reach was far worse than before, when he was fake. I was wrong. He reached out, brushing some hair from my face.

“I fell in love with you, that night we played as children in the fade. I didn’t know it then, but that’s when the seed was planted, it deepened that day on the road, playing child like games and watching your smile spread to everyone around you. I realized it that first night in Haven, I tried to… I attempted to kiss you, shortly after you almost lit the both of us on fire-” I chuckled, breaking his confession for but a moment, causing a familiar smile to curl up on his lips. “-I got scared when you started becoming closer to Benjamin, and showed no further signs of interest in me. I thought perhaps… your interest had changed. Or maybe I never held your gaze at all.” He stopped, apparently granted me time to respond.

I stood there, not running, not saying anything to chase him off. Just thinking.

“Solas…” I started, and I saw him flinch, as if he was getting ready for my imminent rejection. I grabbed his hand, forcing him to stay. I didn’t look at him, instead staring at our now joined hands. “Back in my world, you were… you were this idea, this fairytale story that I couldn’t touch, this bitter, grumpy person who tried to hide the fact that he was kind, and witty, and loved games.” he scoffed at my description of him.

“The books weren’t wrong on every account, you can be very bitter.” I chuckled, stepping closer to him, leaning my head against his chest. “I never thought, not in a million years, that I would be able to touch you. That I would be able to meet you. I thought you would ignore me, at best, when I got here. I thought you’d say your two words to me and I would disappear into the folds of the inquisition. How could I ever imagine that the man I’ve loved since the day I picked up those damn books would love me back.”

His grip on my hand tightened at that, he inhaled, bringing his other hand up to press into the small of my back, drawing me closer.

“So I’m sorry I was a little shocked when I found out,” I laughed, tears threatening to come out, he laughed as well, moving his hand from mine to embrace me fully, allowing me to wrap my arms around his neck. He lifted me up off my feet, something normally I’m not very comfortable with, but in this instance, it suits us perfectly. He spun us around in a circle, the two of us giggling like idiots.

He lowered me back down onto the ground and the giggling refused to subside. Until of course I realized how close he was, and then the blushing came back. We made eye contact for just a moment, before I bounced up onto my tip toes, eyes sliding closed as our lips met for the second time. This time of course, it was in a kiss and not mouth to mouth resuscitation. It was a gentle kiss, new and timid, his lips soft and chafed against mine, sending sparks throughout my entire body, his taste filled my mouth and I swore I’d never ask for anything ever again if the Creators just let me keep kissing him for the rest of time.

His hand traveled up my back to tangle into my hair, the kiss deepened, our teeth clacked, and he smiled as I pulled back to laugh, our noses bumping. But he dove right back in, devouring me. I took a step back, unsure of where my balance had gone, and he followed, until my knee bumped the small couch.

His free hand- not the one now pulling on my hair to angle my neck up so he could begin kissing a line down my throat to pull mouthfulls of said neck in between his teeth- traveled down, pausing to give my rear a slight squeeze, with a possessive growl from him, before gripping my thigh and pulling it up around his waist. I followed his every movement, every pull I followed, every push I obeyed, I let out a gasp as his fingers tightened around my locks, and was about to suggest he start removing layers, when there was a rather loud knock on the door.

Solas paused, my leg lowering back down to the floor. He glanced to the door, then back to the mess he’d made of me, my hair tussled, my neck possessing one or two hickies, my lips swollen, knees shaking from the intensity of our first kiss, eyes begging him to ignore it.

It was very clear that he was fighting back the urges he was feeling from his mess of an expression as well, that he wanted to ignore it and continue working on the soon to be masterpiece that was my blank canvas of a neck. He breathed in, steadying himself, before planting a soft kiss to my neck, then my cheek, before stepping back from me and going to open the door.

I didn’t even have the right state of mind to realize I should probably change out of my fucking see through sweater before he got to said door. But by the time I’d had that thought he was already opening it, and he opened it wide.

He spoke Orlesian to the service staff, as they blushed under their masks and carried in my hot water, the two of them coming in and out until the tub was full. I, being the brain dead fool that I was at the moment, still completely stunned, didn’t catch a word of what they were saying, and barely noticed when they also took my clothes to wash. I only even realized they were gone when Solas returned, cupping my face in his hands and kissing me, breaking my trance. I returned the soft kiss, short as it was, before he was pulling away.

“You ordered a bath Vhenan,” _Vhenan_ , that got me blushing all over again, my ears going pink at the endearment. I wondered how long he’d wanted to call me that. “I should leave you to it.”

“You could- you could stay,” I whimpered, grabbing the edges of his sweater. “If you want.” I looked up at him through long lashes.

“I… I do want, Creators do I want,” He growled, looking down at my barely hidden body. “But I… shouldn’t. Not tonight.” I scowled, pulling him down into my lips for another long, soft, kiss, tempted to bite at him, but I pulled away.

I stepped past him, pulling my sweater up from the bottom, over my head, and then tossing it over the bed. Solas inhaled sharply. I looked over my shoulder at him, reached back, and unhooked my bra, tossing it over with the sweater as well.

“I’ll see you in the morning then Solas,” I hummed as I slid my fingers into the sides of my panties, dragging them down my thighs, bending all the way over to make sure he got a great view, and then tossed them towards him, before disappearing into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I waited a few minutes, breathing heavily, holding my chest in my hand, until I heard the door open, and then close a few seconds later.

I went out to get my book to read in the bath to find my underwear were missing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!!!!!
> 
> This is the slowest burn I've ever written. Can you believe this nonsense. 16 chapters, 70k words, and they're finally on the same page!! Gods and they aren't even in Skyhold yet... I hope now that the ROMANCE has started, you wont all lose interest! More conflict to come, dont worry ;D 
> 
> Also I didn't put A nsfw warning on this chapter cuz... well... I thought it might spoil the contents. But theres a bunch of tags that make it very obvious what kind of fic this is and is going to be, so I'm sorry not sorry? (Sorry)
> 
> PS this chapter is dedicated to voltagelisa who told me not to burn myself out, but I'm an eternal flame baby!


	17. Masking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted this uneditted early and then realized... i shouldnt... not...edit... smut....
> 
> SO NSFW warning this chapter! It doesn't get toooooo hot and heavy? Just like. A little. A little smut. I really like smut I'm sorry

I didn’t realize how filthy I was until I was sinking into the soothing hot water and saw all the little scrapes, all the dried blood and dirt, washing off. I washed my hair carefully, making sure I didn’t use too much of the shampoo and conditioner, seeing as it would eventually run out. I’d have to start using it for special occasions, instead of just whenever I felt dirty. Which was basically always. 

I kind of understood why Solas decided not to stay, other than the fact that we literally just got on the same page about our feelings, I wasn’t exactly the cleanest I could be for such activities. 

I let my hair sit in the conditioner for at least twenty minutes, getting soaked into my book, not to mention it was just so damn comfortable. Orlais knew how to make a good bathtub. 

Eventually I rinsed out my hair, careful to get all the tangles out, and got out of the tub. There was a small plug to drain it, and I did just that, leaving a rather gross stain all around the edges of the water line. Damn, I really was filthy. 

I toweled off, and was about to go to sleep- or finish my book, either one- when there was yet another knock at my door. I hesitated, it could be Solas, regretting not taking me up on my offer to stay… but I doubted that. 

I wrapped a rather large, thick towel around my body and opened the door. 

“Cassandra?” I squeaked, rather surprised. We’d not spoken much, at all, in any of the time I’d been with the inquisition, in fact I was pretty sure she didn’t like me. 

Looking surprised herself, as though she didn’t know this was my room, she was slow to respond. “I ah, was hoping to speak with you. You seem… well… could we discuss this not in the hallway?” Already pushing past me before finishing her sentence.

“Sure yeah, come on in,” I sighed sarcastically as I closed the door, leaning on it. She stood in the middle of the room, looking back and forth, before sitting awkwardly down on my couch. I crossed my arms, scanning her. She was wearing a loose tank top and some baggy pants, a brown satchel at her side, her hair up in her usual braid… still damp. She looked like she had also just finished enjoying a long bath. 

“I wanted to… to talk to you about something, rather sensitive.” She wrung her hands together, her muscles flexing as she stretched her arms out. Before continuing she reached into her bag, pulling out a rather simple white feathered mask. She extended it to me. I took it.

“This is… the sensitive topic?” I scoffed, turning the mask over in my hands. It was virtually transparent, just lace and feathers, no really fancy decorations. 

“No!” She squeaked, “No- I… that is for you. It is customary to wear a mask in Orlais, I assumed you didn’t have one.” 

I looked up at her, then to the mask. She… got me a mask? A gift? Had I missed something? Were Cassandra and I friends? Nevertheless, I put the mask on, it was clear it was fashioned for an elf, the way it curved around my ears to hang loosely on my nose. 

“Thank you, Cassandra.” I said, adjusting it so it wasn’t SO loose. “I didn’t have one. I’ll be sure to wear it while we’re out.” 

I walked away from the door, making my way behind her to my pack with the intention to put on some clothes, but upon digging for a few minutes I realize that I do not in fact have anything other than my tank top, some shorts, and extra foot wraps. 

“You wouldn’t happen to have an entire outfit in that satchel, would you?” I groaned, pushing my bag to the side, disappointed in its contents. Cassandra shook her head, as if I’d meant the question seriously. I gathered up what I had, which was very little. My bra, a pair of what I could only describe as boxers that I’d stolen from Tannis, and sweater… and that was it. Solas had indeed taken my underwear. I hoped to the moon and back that the staff would be bringing my clothes at some point, so I could actually, I don’t know, go outside. 

I groaned, but put my bra, boxers and sweater on none the less. Anything to get out of that cold towel.

“Sorry Cass,” I sighed, plopping down on the couch next to her. “What did you want to talk about?” 

“Oh-yes,” She cleared her throat, looking down to her hands and away from me. “It seems that you are much more… acquainted, with the Herald than I am.”

“Oh… uh, I guess? He’s kind of like my best friend, or brother, sort of a mix of the two.” I replied blandly, reaching up to pull new tangles out of my quickly drying hair. I already had a few, the result of running around my room desperately searching for clothes. 

“So, you may know if he is… interested. In anyone.” At that my mind switched from barely caring to hyperactive attentiveness, my eyes sliding up to lock onto hers. “I was simply wondering of course! Perhaps there is a woman in his life, one that he has told you about but not me- I want to know for ah- inquisition… reasons… I…”

“Cassandra! Don‘t tell me you‘ve developed feelings for our dear Benjamin,” I teased, my smile far too wide, poking her in the side as she put her face in her hands and groaned. As fun as it would be to tease Cassandra for hours, I was actually really exhausted. Physically, and emotionally. It had been a long ass day. “No, no okay,” I put a hand on Cass’ shoulder, scooting closer. 

“Listen up, because I’m really tired, and I’m only going to say this once.” I waited until she looked up at me, nodded, and then I continued. “Ben hasn’t shown any interest in anyone, I’ve literally not seen anyone catch his eye, he’s nice to everyone we meet, he smiles next to constantly, and if you like him, which I assume is what this is, then just be yourself, and I’m sure he’ll see you for what you are: A smart, beautiful, strong woman. Who- let’s be honest- could destroy him, if you really wanted to.” 

I got a smile out of her for that, and after another minute of her making ABSOLUTELY sure I hadn’t seen him with anyone- seriously why was everyone so insecure here- I was walking her out my door. 

I held it there for a minute, staring at the door which I knew to be Solas’. I bit my lip. And then crossed the hall, leaving my room open. I walked up to his door, putting my ear to it. Slight muffling, the sounds of water sloshing… but other than that, nothing. I extended my aura just slightly, enough to check if he’d done that thing to his door that he does to the cabin, but I felt nothing. I put my hand to the knob, twisted, and… it opened. 

I pushed into the room, the layout pretty much the exact same as mine, the separating door between the bathroom and bedroom however, was ajar. I slipped inside, going straight for his pack, desperately trying to step as lightly as possible. The floor underneath me however had different plans, as it let out a loud creak I froze, looking to the bathroom. 

Silence. 

I swallowed, unlatching the button on his bag, lifting the top open. I pushed aside his tunic that rested at the top to reveal the mother load of Solas’ underwear. Grabbing every pair I could carry- which was all of them- I tip toed back out of the room, careful to close the door behind me without making a sound. 

I fell asleep mere minutes later, curled up in a ball in Solas’ smalls, which fit rather nicely, and surrounded by pillows, my new mask resting comfortably on my dresser. 

The fade took me almost the second I closed my eyes, pulling me in and placing me in a patch of green grass, with small yellow flowers all around me. A familiar figure lying next to me, and an angry looking, armor clad, ass standing a few feet away. I winked at Guardian. 

“I was wondering when you were going to get here,” To my left I found Ben laying, hands behind his head, feet propped up on a rock, smiling at the sky. “I’ve been asleep for like two hours.” 

“Oh I took a bath first,” I wiggled down next to him on my stomach, stretching my arms out. “And I may have made up with Solas.”

“May have?” He angled his head slightly toward me, but his eyes still rested on the sky. I only hummed happily in response, plucking blades of grass out of the ground to begin weaving them together. I’d make a crown, one suitable for Benjamin’s particular head of hair. 

We didn’t talk for a long time, as I braided together flowers and leaves, poking holes in them with my nails, pulling them through themselves to make rings, necklaces, crowns, even bracelets. Until I turned my attention to Ben’s hair, braiding that instead. 

“I spoke with Cassandra about you,” I said after a while, we’d sat up now so that I could start braiding his beard, which seemed longer in the fade. He raised his brow, edging me on. “She likes you.”

“… Ah.”

“Ah?” I replied, poking his stomach, getting a laugh in response. “You lot, so many emotions and no idea how to deal with them.” 

“No, no, it’s not that… I like her I do…”

“But?”

“But- stop pulling so hard,” He snapped, swatting at my hands, which were in fact pulling too hard. “But… I think I prefer the company of men.”

I didn’t even stop braiding. “Well I imagine that would make it hard for you to like her back.”

“Well, I’m not sure, actually. I used to like girls, when I lived in the circle. It was perfectly natural to mess around, and I messed around, let me tell you, ladies were hungry for some of this Ben.” He motioned to his entire body, I smacked his head. “Ow- alright, alright… I knew I liked women, but there was this guy… he was tan, Maker he was tan, skinnier than me, but then again everyone was. An elf, actually. White hair, green eyes, always flirting, saying things in elven, calling me… something, it started with a ‘V’?”

“Vhenan,” I whispered. “It means ‘My Heart’, ‘My Everything’. It’s kind of a big deal.” I blushed, remembering Solas calling me exactly that. I heard Guardian grunt from his spot a few feet away. I cleared my throat, “You loved him?”

“I did, for a time he was my entire world…” His voice trailed off, his eyes going somber. I stopped braiding, moving my hand to his cheek. 

“What happened?” I asked, trying to catch his eye, but he wouldn’t look at me. He put his hand over mine. 

“The war.” was all he replied, sighing before continuing. “But, I haven’t been with a woman- or for that matter a man, since.”

“You’re bisexual Ben.” I replied, going back to braiding his beard, I’d gotten a good amount of it done, I just needed to pull the rest of the top down into the… I realized the strange look he was giving me and I stopped. “…what?” 

“What’s a… bisexual?” 

“Oh. OH. Oh, Ben, honey, it’s like me. It’s what we are,” I pulled away from his beard to spin around, planting myself in his lap, he didn’t push me away. “Bisexuals are people who like both genders, I’ve been with women as well as men, I’ve loved women, I’ve loved men. You’ve done the same.” 

He rested his chin on top of my head, pulling his knees up and resting his arms on them. 

“And this is… common?” He asked, trying not to notice Guardian slowly moving toward us. My spirit companion needed to get past his hatred of men touching me, I was a constant beacon of affection, it wasn’t going to stop. 

“It’s not… uncommon.” I hummed, watching as Guardian paced back and forth, clearly beyond outraged by my close proximity to Ben. 

We spent the rest of the night just talking, about girls, about boys, about Solas, about me stealing his underwear, which Ben found endlessly hilarious. I told him about my last girlfriend, about how… hard it was, when she left. How I adjusted, but how there was always this gap where she’d used to be. He told me about his last girlfriend, apparently she was a cunt. That was all I got. 

By the time morning rolled around, I was insanely excited to have deepened my understanding of Ben, not to mention how much we’d strengthened our friendship. I’d never really had a bi friend before, not one that I didn’t want to bone at least. 

I woke up well rested, spooning one of the bigger pillows. During the night, the bathroom had been cleaned, and my washed clothes rested at the foot of my bed, awaiting my attention. I threw my legs over the bed, actually beyond excited for the day. Apparently the little summoning wasn’t until tomorrow, so we didn’t have to worry about meeting anyone from the chantry for a whole day. It was like a vacation, only we were at war. So a war-cation. Haha. 

The floor was cold, so my feet bounced as I rushed to get the basket they’d left me, pulling out the foot wraps and putting them on first. With my toes officially enchanted, and now wearing two articles of Solas’ clothing, I could stand comfortably on the chilled floor. 

I knew little about the climate of Orlais, but from my few hours of experience, it was actually quite a bit warmer than Haven. So I opted out of wearing my sweaters. Instead, I rolled Solas’ wrapping up with Nira’s, bringing them all the way up to my hips, and then put my tan tunic on over that, along with my thin sweater, and my belt, with all its decorations. The tunic certainly wasn’t very long, cutting off inches above my knees, it was almost just school appropriate... If it weren’t for the slit up the side. It wasn’t made for wearing without pants underneath, but I was feeling outgoing.

I hesitated on bringing my staff, hand hovering above it as I thought. 

I certainly didn’t plan on getting in any fights, and if I got separated from the group… well people didn’t take too well to lone elf mages. So I left the staff and its holsters on the couch. Instead, I pulled out something I’d been ignoring for a long time. The small knife that the requisitions officer had given me. It had been sitting at the bottom of my pack, untouched, for a while now. 

I strapped it to my belt, checking to make sure that the tiny sheath it had wasn’t too fancy looking. I didn’t want it getting stolen. 

Lastly I grabbed the mask, positioning it delicately on my nose. I doubted anyone else would be wearing one, but I certainly would enjoy the slight anonymity of it. Not to mention it was rather cute and complimented my eyes. 

All dressed and ready to go I unlocked my door, stepped out, and then locked it behind me. Tucking the key into my medicine pouch that I’d turned into a money pouch instead, seeing as that was a little harder to steal. I had little in the way of money, though the inquisition had paid me for my time so far. Ben said I’d be making more as one of his advisors, though I’d yet to see a time.

There was no one in the hallway and I thought to start knocking on doors, but the smell of food lured me down stairs to a large dining area, where the staff was putting large plates out onto a long dining table. Where Solas already sat, facing away from me. I smirked, wondering what he was wearing as underwear since I’d stolen all of his. A panty thief in the night, I stifled a laugh, picturing him wearing my green, laced undies. 

I stepped down the last of the stairs into the room just as an arm wrapped around my waist and lifted me up with a loud grunt from both of us. 

“Melana!” Ben roared, spinning me into the room at top speeds, I screamed out, flailing until he put me down. 

“Benjamin Travelyan!” I shrieked, smacking him once both my feet were firmly on the ground. “What a terrible way to say good morning!” 

He only laughed, pulling me into a hug noogying my head. 

“Good morning my lady, love the mask” He winked, doing a full bow, one hand flourished behind him and the other pressed to his heart. I scoffed and rolled my eyes, what a brat. He strolled past me to the table, and I turned to see Solas looking over at me curiously. 

I tried not to look like a lovesick fool, but from the amused expression on both Solas and Ben’s faces, I was probably doing to opposite. I walked over to the table, sliding into the chair next to Solas. 

“Good morning,” I cleared my throat, looking over the meal that had been laid out for us. I’d never seen so many Crepes. Or were they called something else here? Either way, they looked delicious. 

“Did you sleep well?” Solas asked, reaching for his glass. There were two cups for each of us, one with juice, and the other with water. What kind of juice I’d yet to learn, but was eager to find out. 

“Yes, my bed is amazingly comfortable, though lonely.” I sighed, reaching for my own glass of juice. Solas chuckled into his cup, but didn’t respond, knowing exactly what I was insinuating. Apple juice, I soon learned, that was a little too tart for my taste. 

Ben sat down across from me, for the sole purpose of kicking me under the table, oh and of course to make annoying faces every time Solas and I interacted. He made a kissy face when I asked him to pass the salt. He got a bruise on his shin for that. Solas seemed unaware of Benjamin’s actions, but I’m sure he was making a mental note of every single movement from his direction. 

Eventually everyone filed down from the bedrooms, Cassandra being the last to arrive, was cursed with sitting in between Varric and one of our Templars. Which for her was like me sitting across from Ben, only with more dumb faces and less kicking. 

“So what’s the plan today then?” Varric asked as he slid another crepe onto his plate. I really did need to ask someone what these were called, before I said the wrong thing. 

“I thought we’d shop, I heard the market here is spectacular.” Ben replied in-between bites, a bit of strawberry syrup in his beard. 

“Oh yeah,” I added, turning slightly to face Varric, who was next to Solas. I shifted my body towards him and my knees bumped with Solas’, who flinched at the contact. “I want to see if there’s a place I can get my bike looked at? Like a smiths or something, it was an original design by one of my old friends, and I wanted to see if someone could take it apart, put it back together, and then make more.”

“And make some good coin,” Ben added with a wink, I shifted in his direction, and was about to move my legs as well when a firm hand gripped the top of my thigh and I nearly yelped in surprise. I held Ben’s gaze, not looking at Solas. 

“Exactly,” I gasped, not entirely meaning to gasp. “And I figured, where better to do it than in Orlais,” Solas’ thumb drew circles on my inner thigh. “The market here for bikes must be off the chain!” 

No one seemed to pick up on my pun, Ben eyeing me curiously before continuing the conversation, which I tuned out to spin my head towards Solas next to me. He was quietly eating with his left hand, pretending his little touches of intimacy weren’t in fact happening. I blushed, realizing I didn’t need to be so bristled about it. It was strange going from being endlessly frustrated with him to unbearably in love with him, it seemed I hadn’t quite adjusted to the change. 

Sliding my hand under the table I tapped a finger to the back of his own hand, which immediately flipped over to embrace mine. 

So we sat, eating breakfast, holding different conversations, with our hands grasped together, unwilling to let go. 

 

The Market was bustling, people running to and fro on different errands, talking to one another in Orlesian, which I could barely understand. Ben had decided to wear casual clothes, try to blend in with the populous, instead of marching around as the Herald of Andraste. Which was hard to watch, because he still stuck out like a sore thumb. Actually everyone except Cassandra and I seemed to be entirely out of place. 

Mostly due to their lack of masks. 

Which is why I suggested we buy them first. 

We turned in to a rather large, fancy shop with hundreds of different styles of masks lining the shelves, purple silks decorating the interior, golden lion statues guarding the entrance. Cassandra and I were the first inside, dragging the other three reluctantly behind us. The owner of the shop took immediate notice of us, sauntering right up to Cass, ignoring me, her little handmaiden in his eyes. 

“Ah! Madam,” He started, bowing to her. Anyone who didn’t know Cassandra personally wouldn’t be able to read her, not with the mask on which covered her eyes, but as someone who spent a lot of time around the warrior, I knew she wasn’t happy with his attention. “How may I serve you?” 

Cassandra didn’t respond, save a stuttering, “I-I, ah-”

I decided to have some fun. “My lady would inquire about masks for her new body guards,” I offered, in my best Orlesian accent, which all in all, wasn’t bad. His attention snapped away from her, his customer service smile fading as he looked down at the little elf. “She has hurt her throat and cannot speak, I am to be her voice.”

The man looked at me, and then past me, to the three mismatched men behind me, then back to Cassandra. 

“Of course Mademoiselle! Right this way, now for the dwarf I’m thinking pearls…” His voice trailed off as he lead Cassandra inside, clearly trying to block me out of the conversation. What part of the “She can’t speak” Lie did he not understand? He walked us towards of the back of the store, showing us the most expensive masks first of course, and I had to interject again. 

“My mistress is not shopping for herself,” That was angled more at Cassandra who had just picked up a very exquisite mask with rubies and sapphires. She glanced back at me before putting it back down. “We do not need anything extravagant, they are only mercenaries.” 

“Your little elf speaks so loudly for one in such a low station, you should train her better.” The merchant scowled down at me, clearly displeased. 

I tensed, about ready to punch this guy, before I felt Solas’ hand to the small of my back. I took a deep breath, calmed by his presence. I’m sure if he got too out of line Solas would just light him on fire or something, now that would be a sight.

“Of course Ser, if you’d prefer I can speak softer, I’m sure your delicate, tiny ears can’t handle such sharp tones. You must struggle living in such a loud place,” I sighed, picking up a mask and turning it over in my hands. “The Opera must be terrible for you, I can only imagine the stress it must put on your sensitive hearing, such a shame, my mistress and I do so love attending. Who was it last that we saw there? Oh yes! The Herald of Andraste! Such an influential man, don’t you argue monsieur?” 

Cassandra bit her lip, clearly hiding a laugh, but the man was not so pleased with my words, his fists clenching at his sides. 

“Indeed,” He replied through gritted teeth. “Less extravagant then? Some simple white masks should do the trick.” He pointed to a stack of masks in a box, snapping at me to grab them. I obliged, playing the fool I picked up three of the masks and handed them to him. He snatched them out of my hands and I smiled up at him, blinking innocently. 

Cassandra paid for the masks and I thanked the man for her, the five of us hurrying out of his shop. The moment we stepped outside however Solas grabbed me by the arm. 

“We’ll be right back, I need to have a word with my student.” He called to the group as he yanked me off, I squealed out in fear, trying to grab Ben but it was too late, I was in for a chastisement. Solas was pushed me into a small, dark alcove. I hadn’t even noticed it was there, from the outside you literally cannot see in, good for getting a lecture. I stepped inside, before his grip returned on my arm, spinning me to face him. 

He slammed into me, his lips furious against mine, desperate, needy, his thigh pressing between my legs. I let out a gasp before I realized what was happening, my back hit the wall behind me as he pressed further into me, his hand tangling into my hair, his other traveling up my tunic. 

“You wore this on purpose didn’t you,” he growled against my mouth as his wandering hand slipped under my bra. His fingers were rough, dancing across my skin in swift motions, pulling moans from me as his lips locked with mine again. He pulled his hand from my hair to join it with the other, bunching my tunic up above my breasts, he pulled my bra down, my bare skin chilled in the fresh air. In an instant his lips were gone from mine, and I whined at the loss of contact. 

I wasn’t unhappy for long though, as his almost too hot tongue traced around my nipple, I quivered, my knees threatening to give out as he brought his mouth to suckle against me. Unsure of what to do with my hands, I grabbed my tunic, pulling it aside to watch him as his mouth moved from my breast, down to the edge of my smalls. Or- excuse me, his smalls. 

He eyes them for a moment, his pupils wide in the dark light, glazing up to me mine. He chuckled, kissing against them once, rolling his tongue over my already soaked through underwear, before standing up, and beginning to fix my outfit. 

“I thought that might have been you who stole them.” He hummed, pulling my bra back up over my breasts, I whimpered, not wanting the fun to end. “We are in public ma’vhenan,” he chuckled, pressing a kiss to my nose as he flattened out my tunic. 

I was entirely aware of how in public we were, I could still see Ben out of the corner of my eye, but honestly it just made it all the more arousing. 

“You started it,” I growled, grabbing behind his neck and pulling him back in for a kiss, he allowed himself to be swayed, stepping further into my embrace, gentle and sweet, far different from the last kiss. I dragged my hands down his chest to the line of his pants, giving them a needy tug. He broke away from my lips. 

“Vhenan,” He growled, and I shuddered at it, never wanting him to call me anything else ever again. He grabbed at my hands, stilling them. I looked down, his pants undone just enough for me to see the hint of green, my green. He realized what I was doing and withdrew from my reach, quickly tying his pants back up. 

“You’re wearing-” 

“You stole mine!” He snapped, adjusting his clothing. “I couldn’t simply wear nothing, and you had given them to me.” 

“I threw them at you,” I purred, pushing away from the wall to step closer to him. I wrapped the leather straps of his necklace around my hand, tugging him closer. “You took them.” I kissed him softly, he returned it on instinct, scowling down at me. 

I shrugged. “I hope you’re enjoying them, though I would like to get them back at some point, they are my favorite.” 

He sighed, his embarrassed, annoyed face shifting back into that of one in control of our intimate situation. He kissed my cheek, then my ear, and then whispered, “Perhaps you can earn them back.” Before stepping out of the alcove and sauntering back over to our friends. Leaving me far too aroused, and far too excited for the prospect of his proposal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God I could write smut till the cows come home... Next time: Probably less smut! Lots more shopping! A little danger~~ <3 As always I love you guys! You're all so sweet with your comments!!
> 
> I've got to work the next few days so updates will probably stop being so often, they may go back to once or twice a week. And not three in one day, still can't believe that.


	18. Biking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to reward myself with taco bell after finishing this but I don't have the car so... I had a bowl of cereal. *Victory dance*
> 
> SMUT WARNING, THERE IS SMUT IN THIS CHAPTER okay love you <3

I made my way over a few seconds later, trying to make myself look less like I was just ravished and more like I just got lectured. Ben didn’t buy it, elbowing me and smiling the minute we started walking again. I kept grabbing my hair, wrapping it around my fingers, twirling it this way and that, smiling far too much, laughing at anything anyone said that was even remotely amusing. I was not good at pretending I wasn’t happy.

The Stores of Orlais were many, the bustling market going on for miles, different vendors selling hundreds of items at varying prices. One woman was selling mabari pups, and we had to stop so Ben could pet all of them. We thought we'd be stuck there forever, but eventually we were able to change the Heralds focus to an older elf selling trinkets that he claimed were from the times of arlathan.

A snort from Solas told me that he was lying.

But Ben still believed him, being the naïve oaf that he was. He bought a ring, which I could only describe as gaudy, before we were on our way again.

The crowd was thick, and I could tell Cassandra and Ben were struggling to move through it, while the rest of us were rather light footed and quick. I was used to moving through market crowds, years of Seattle's festivals had taught me how to manipulate the flow of a crowd such as this. I didn't know what Solas or Varric’s reasoning for being quick to move was, but I'm sure it was similar to mine: experience.

We got stopped every other booth or so, one of our party members taking interest in whatever wares were being sold. At one point we had to stop for Solas, who couldn't pass up the opportunity to haggle with a book merchant.

Eventually, and with much more stuff than when we started, we made it through the morning market and onto the main, more permanent stores. We passed several clothing stores, weapons supply stores, even what could be best described as a grocery store, before coming upon an armory.

The building was marbled, as were most in Orlais, with a simple sign to show that it was in fact a place that sold what we were looking for. Ben and I went inside, leaving the rest of our party to wander the market, though Solas just sat down to start reading that book he'd practically stolen from that merchant.

The Inside of the store was a very simplistic design, a sort of large hallway, lined with armor stands, with a podium at the end and a rather quaff Orlesian man standing on it.

"Welcome Monsieur!" He said in his rather loud, shrill voice, causing me to flinch. Ben and I walked to the back of the room where he stood, now bowing to us. "Please allow me to be of assistance to you, in any way."

Ben gave me a sideways glance, rolling his eyes. I suppressed a laugh.

"Yes I'm interested in purchasing armor for my friend here, something that will allow her quick movement while also being able to hold many items," he started talking to the man, who gave me a look over. If it wasn't for the golden mask on his face I'd be sure he was sneering at me. I had the sudden urge to burn down the entire city.

Instead, I looked at the armor nearest us. It appeared to be dragon scales, purple layers and a white trim, satchels, packs, a purple helm. Very lovely. I also picked up on something else, a hum, coming from the armor. Or more specifically, the leather. I stepped towards it, holding my hand out, running fingertips over the hide. It was singing to me, a song I didn't recognize, but it felt hot against my touch.

"My lady," the merchant called and I spun around, realizing I'd completely zoned out to focus on the song. "If you'd follow me?"

He extended his hand past the pedestal, to a doorway. I looked to Ben, he nodded, and I started following the man.

He took me through the door, which lead to another long hallway, though this one was filled with doors. In to the first door on my right he guided me, beginning to take my measurements, carefully examining my form. He mumbled something to himself under his breath, staring at his clipboard.

"Do you have a color preference?" He asked, near sighed, not looking up from his notes. "For you skin tone and hair color..." He breathed. "I would think maybe a dark color, something black even maybe, with golden trims.... Maybe Dragonling scales... I believe I have a few in stock..." And with that he disappeared out of the small room. Without even allowing me to answer his original question.

I huffed in irritation, crossing my arms and looking around the small room. It was your basic changing room, a mirror, a seat... I looked in the mirror. I hadn't really looked at myself in a while, and it seemed the traveling had done some amount of an effect to my body. I'd lost weight. Not a lot, mind you, but enough for me to notice. My stomach was looking a little less round, my arms a little less flabby. I had noticed before that my legs felt stronger as well. I guess Cullen's stupid exercises were starting to pay off.

My hair was an absolute mess though. Which was mostly Solas' fault.

Flushing at that thought, I patted my cheeks, hoping to calm down just as the door opened behind me.

"This should do you nicely, though I'll need to resize it." He held out a dark toned outfit, maybe Bear hide, with a few dozen belts and buckles, and amber bits of armor on the arms and chest, with his stamp, some kind of eagle, on it. I extended a hand, feeling the fabric, and low and behold, there was the song again, though this one was different, it was like my fingertips couldn't quite touch the fabric, as though they bounced off.

"Your master requested an enchanted piece," he began to explain, though I cringed at the word master. "Something with a protection boost."

Before I could respond he pulled it back, seemingly pleased with my reaction.

"That should do then, come on." He motioned for me to come and I followed once again, as he lead me back out onto the main floor. Another exchange with Ben, a little haggling, and they'd struck a deal. An outrageous amount of gold later, and directions to our hotel for it to be delivered, and we were walking out of the store.

Solas still sat with his nose in his book, and I wasn't sure where Varric and Cass had wandered off to.

"I'm going back to that mabari booth, are you two coming?" Ben asked, looking knowingly between the two of us as Solas barely glanced up from his book.

"Actually I wanted to find a blacksmith, and I'm sure Solas is just going to be reading all day." I hummed, "We'll meet you back at the inn for lunch?"

"Sounds like a plan, don't have too much fun without me you two," Ben said with a wink before vanishing into the crowd, off to paw on puppies. I looked down to Solas, who was now tucking his book into his side bag and standing up.

"Was there anything particular you wanted to get in the market?" I chirped, kind of wanting to do another lap through the crowd. Solas adjusted his tunic, brushing it off before looking to me.

"There was a booth I saw that still holds my interest, if perhaps you would like to accompany me." He replied, tucking his hands behind his back. I mimicked him, smirking.

"Of course Serah Solas, please lead the way." I sneered, sticking my tongue out at him. He rolled his eyes, his bare feet padding against the stone work as he lead me back into the crowd.

Weaving through a mass of people was near exhilarating, pushing past person after person, never touching them. I would probably make a decent pick pocket the way I could move. Solas though, he could have stripped this people without them knowing, he was swirling through the crowd like magic. At one point he got too far ahead of me, not wanting to lose him I reached out, grabbing his hand. He didn't look back, just intertwined his fingers with mine, guiding me through the best paths.

We broke through the crowd finally, to a small clearing with an even smaller booth in it. I exhaled, the thrill rushing through my blood. It was a stupid thing to get high from, the rush of a tight crowd, but I always did.

"Are you alright Melana?" Solas chuckled, not removing his hand from mine.

"Yes- I'm sorry, yeah, I just-aha..." I tried to slow my breathing, stepping from one foot to the other. "I love huge crowds."

"I can tell," he replied, "shall we?" He motioned towards the booth he'd brought me here for. I looked over, I'd not seen it before, it looked like... Clothes? Maybe? There were one or two people walking around the small booth, women and men alike. The person running the booth was a very old woman, the first without a mask I'd seen today, many laugh lines and huge crows feet, her eyes barely open as she looked around the booth, sewing something as she talked to customers.

We stepped up, his hand tightening on mine as we stepped closer. And then I saw what the booth was.

Underwear. Men's, women's, bras, panties, socks, even a few scarves, all lovingly crafted, probably by the old woman.

I took a wary step back, but Solas dragged me forward.

"Come Vhenan. I'm sure there's something you'll like." He said, almost menacingly, I thought before how I’d wanted him to only call me that, and now I’d rather he hadn’t, making it sound like a threat. This was my punishment, the gods were punishing me for teasing him by doing this. We approached the table with the frillier small clothes and the woman hobbled over to us, putting her needle and thread down.

"Now aren't you two cute," she squeaked, her voice that of a very old smokers, but with a fereldan accent, "newlyweds aren't you?"

I flinched back, eager to run far away from ALL OF THIS. "What makes you say that?" I wanted to scream it, but it came out barely a whisper.

"Why the mask deary," she chuckled, pointing to my white laced mask. Fucking Cassandra, she gave me a newlyweds mask?! "Fresh from the wedding bed I bet." She winked at Solas, I bit inside my cheek to push down the laughter. This woman was very blunt.

"Yes well, ma'vhenan," he looked to me, and I was glad for both our masks, hiding our incredulous faces. "You said you wanted some new small clothes?"

"Did I?" I squeaked, his hand on mine tightened, a warning to play along. "I did! Yes, it seems in my travels, and my wedding night, several of my smalls have been, well just absolutely destroyed. This one is a real beast you know, can't wait five seconds for me to take them off, he just rips right through them!"

Solas almost let go of my hand, but I tightened my grip, a warning to play along. The woman looked absolutely shocked, surprised perhaps at my openness with this, or just with the fact that my 'husband' was so rough.

"So I thought, if he's going to be tearing through them, he might as well be buying me new ones! Something pink perhaps, you like pink, don't you Vhenan?" I pressed myself into his side, smiling up at him. I didn't let him respond before looking back to the woman, "I simply can't wear anything that he doesn't like, as he is my husband, I must do everything in my power to please him!"

Solas pulled me closer, our shoulders bumping.

"Pink is lovely Vhenan," he sighed, at this point a few other customers had started looking at us rather curiously. "But perhaps you should stop talking."

"Of course my love, whatever you'd like," I hummed, smiling up at him with big eyes.

"You must forgive her," he said, now turning to the vendor, who was smiling ear to ear. "She was dropped on her head several times as an infant." Another bite inside my cheek, stifling a laugh, gods this was fun.

"Oh you poor thing," the woman cooed, grabbing my hand to pat it with both of hers. "I have just the thing for you both," she said, grabbing a few pairs.

A few minutes, and a huge discount for my being 'soft in the head', later, and Solas had just bought me several pairs of underwear. Not that I was complaining about that, I'd really only had the one since I'd gotten here. I’d been washing it daily, but that had been growing extremely annoying.

We waved goodbye to the old woman, and the two of us vanished back into the crowd.

"You are quite ridiculous," Solas growled, pushing behind me as we weaved.

I didn't reply, stewing in my embarrassment, he sounded quite mad at me. We walked in silence until we popped out of the crowd at the other side, the large group thinning around the edges of the main shops. Solas moved to stand by my side.

"I'm sorry," I sighed. "I thought it would be funny, but I understand if you're upset with me."

"No, it was quite humerus actually," he chuckled, bending down to kiss my cheek. "Besides, we got a rather large discount for it. Just warn me next time you decide to tell someone I've ravished you."

"Perhaps next time you can warn me before taking me to a panty salesmen," I replied, bumping my shoulder into his side.

"I thought it would be funny," he said, bumping me back gaining a scoff from me.

We walked for a bit after that, holding hands, stopping to look in windows of stores, at one point dipping back into a lovers nook for a brief bout of kissing, though he was carefully less rough with me this time, before heading back to the inn.

"It's not nearly lunch yet Melana, what do you need?" He asked as I skipped past the inn itself and went to the stables by its side. I found our cart, and there, hidden among our tents, I found my bike.

"My bicycle," I grunted as I pulled it out of the back, nearly dropping it on the ground.

"Your bicycle?" He echoed, watching as I struggled to get it upright.

"I want to find someone who can make more." I said, pushing it towards him. He took the handles. Examining it.

"It's aluminum, I think, and rubber, which I don't know that exists here yet, but I'm sure a good smith could take it apart and put it back together. Or try at least." I hummed, I watched him squat down and run his fingers over the tire. "If this smith can, then we can make royalties off of each bike they sell, we'd make a fortune."

"We?" He asked, standing back up.

"Well, yes. I would give you the money. You'll need gold for your venture here Vhenan." I leaned on the handles, knowing I'd made a good plan, and all in all it wasn't my idea. I'd read a fic a long time ago where a girl had gone to Thedas and done something similar, though she's used trebuchets or something. I was going the less violent route.

"You're not wrong." He hummed, holding his chin in hand. He thought on it for a moment, I knew the possible gold mine I was handing him was far too good to pass up, but he seemed hesitant. "This device is far more advanced than anything Thedas possess. Your world is far beyond our own in the ways of technology. Giving them this, jumping them ahead, it may not be wise."

"Solas, Thedas is about where my world was around... Maybe three hundred years ago. Probably more, but that's not the point. I'm jumping them maybe, a hundred years at most with this. Someone will make a rudimentary bike in a decade or so, if they haven't already." I replied with a sigh, I'd already thought about all this. "It’s not like I’m giving them the IPad."

He chuckled at that. "No that would be cataclysmic to their technology." He thought another minute on it, staring at the bike like he could take it apart himself. Before sighing in defeat. "My wealth is not what it once was, if we're to hope to care for the elven people after all of this is over, then we will need all the gold we can get."

I bounced from one foot the the other, hopping up and kissing him on the cheek before taking the handles from him.

“Thank you Solas!” I squeaked, pushing the bike past him. “So will you escort me to the blacksmiths?”

 

“It’s a hunk of junk,” The irritatingly short man, who had claimed he was not in fact a dwarf, said in front of me. He’d spent two seconds looking at the bike, walked around it once, and then proclaimed he could do nothing with it. Solas had decided to stay at the inn, claiming he had business to attend to. AKA his book needed to be finished, leaving me to deal with this asshole.

“A hunk of- Ser, I understand that it might be complex, but if you just tried to dismantle it you’d see-”

“That it's garbage? I don’t want your trash knife ear, get out of my shop.” He full on interupted me, turning around like not facing me would make me disappear. I cringed at the slur, tightening my fists at my sides.

“Fine, I’ll take it to another blacksmith, I’m sure that someone else will be able to do something as simple as build a bike, it seems you’re unsuited to the task.” I huffed, grabbing said bike and marching out of his store with it. He made a grunting noise, apparently satisfied with my leaving.

Once out I slumped against the wall, sighing. That had been the third smith I’d been to, and according to everyone I’d asked, the last one in town. No one wanted to touch the bike, let alone work on it.

Feeling flat out defeated, I hopped on the seat and started riding down the street. I leaned lazily on the handles, practically laying on them as I peddled slowly down the cobbled street. It was well past lunch time now, the others were probably looking for me. I hadn’t anticipated my outing taking so long, honestly I thought it would take me like ten minutes. But no one thought the bike was worth anything, that it was a waste of money.

I curved tight around a corner, almost knocking over a man carrying a pile of books, instead I just knocked myself over, my bike slamming me down into the ground, skidding a few feet away without me. I heard a few gasps as I groaned, my arm torn to shit, and knees scraped beyond belief, everything stung. I sat up onto my knees, looking over to the man.

White hair, thin spectacles, and a very shocked expression, sitting not a foot away from me. He had apparently tumbled as well, surprised by my sudden bursting from around the corner.

“Oh shit, I’m really sorry, are you okay?” I gasped, rushing over to him, gathering up his books as he did the same. “I should’ve been looking where I was going.”

“Oh no, I’m quite alright, you just startled me.” He replied, stuttering it almost. He hastily grabbed for his things, tucking them back under his arms. I didn’t recognize his accent, high class fereldan maybe? I grabbed one of the books and skimmed the cover, having to do a double take.

“Engineering? You’re an engineer?” as soon as I said it the book was gone from my grasp, his glare hard on me.

“Aspiring to be,” He hissed, tucking the last book back onto the stack of them, clearly I’d struck a cord there, as he seemed to have no more interest in talking to me. He stood up, and I did the same, watching as he attempted to lift the stack of books, taller than himself, back up. I rolled my eyes and took some off the top. “Hey!” He barked.

I walked back over to my bike, tire still spinning, and stood it up, dropping the two books I’d grabbed into the basket. I walked the bike back over, pulling a few more down and plopping them on top of the rest. He eyed me.

“I’m Melana, let me help you carry these back, as an apology for running in to you.” I said with a smile, taking one last book and filling the basket. He seemed to think on it for a moment, eyes flicking from my face to my bike, before nodding his head.

“I’m Percival, there's a longer name there but you can just call me Percy.” He turned down the corner, and I followed alongside him.

“Lovely to meet you Percy, even if I’m covered in bruises because of it.” I chuckled, looking down to my arms. I’d completely landed on my left arm, something akin to a slight burn scar scraping up from my wrist to elbow, I’d fix it up later.

“Yes I am terribly sorry about that,” He said, a hint of curiosity in his voice. “Though I must admit, your strange carrier is rather… well intriguing to say the least.”

“What? Oh, my bicycle?” I glanced down at it, amazed it was still in tact, honestly I thought it would be broken by now, based on how many times I’d fucking crashed it. “I’d intended to sell it to a smith, attempt to get royalties on the design, but no one was interested. So back in my closet it goes.”

“Did you design it?” He asked, eyes now transfixed on the bike.

“No, an old friend of mine did. But he died before making any more unfortunately,” the same story I’d spun for the rest of the smiths, I knew it well enough by now. “He was a genius, I was sad to see him go.”

That sad note seemed to be the end of our conversation, the two of us walking in silence until we came to what appeared to be his home, a rather comely estate, I’d expected more. I tried not to show it though.

“I’m sorry again, for running in to you,” I said as I started loading his books onto his arms, after he’d opened his front door.

“I’m not,” Percy said from inside as he pushed a few things around. “Melana, do you believe in destiny?”

“Excuse me?” I scoffed, as he rummaged a bit more, the sound of something hitting the floor, then he was hurrying back out to me, holding a piece of parchment in his hands. He held it out to me. I raised a brow, but took it, propping my bike up on the wall. I unrolled it and saw… well a bike. Or at least, a very simple, shit design for one.

“I had a dream about this a few weeks ago, I thought I was going mad, I couldn’t figure out how it would go, pulled by horses perhaps, but seeing you on such a masterpiece of a design… I knew we were fated to meet.” He grasped my hands in his and I instinctively flinched back, though he didn’t seem to notice. “I can do it, I can make more of these ‘Bi-cycles’ as you called them, everyone and their grandmother will want one.”  
“Oh- I- really?” I gasped, now returning his hand holding. “And you’ll be okay with giving me royalties?”

“Of course! A 60-40 split, leaning your way of course.” He was shaking my hand now, sealing the deal. He invited me inside, and I brought the bike in. His house was small, he was apparently the seventh son of a lord from ferelden, though I missed the title. He’d come to Orlais to study engineering, though it was a new sort of study, he’d always had a fervent interest in it. We had tea, and while it was bitter, we talked business over it, making it taste almost sweet in my mind.

He claimed he could easily recreate the bike, after disassembling it, though rubber would certainly be impossible to come by, I tried to describe it to him as detailed as possibly. What little I knew about the components to make rubber, but he said if all else fails he could use leather or just wood. Some kind of buffer. A few weeks of testing and he would certainly had a full line of bikes, though none would compare to mine. That would take time.

I ended up leaving the bike with him, though I took the basket. It was hard to leave behind, I’d been dragging it around Thedas since I’d gotten thrown into the Hinterlands, and technically the bike wasn’t even mine! It was my aunts!

So I left him with the bike, a signed contract we’d drawn up, and what little gold I had been paid from the inquisition, something to help him start. Though he claimed he certainly had enough money for this venture. By the time I left his little house it was near dark outside, the golden sun setting behind the pillars that lay deeper into the city, and I was suddenly reminded of why exactly we’d come to this damned place.

We had to meet with the chantry tomorrow.

 

I practically ran back to the Inn, mostly because I’d totally agreed to be back by noon, and it was pushing… shit I don’t know, seven maybe? I really hadn’t planned to stay at Percy’s so long, but the guy was actually fun to talk to. Plus I mean, he was going to be making me money. So there’s that. My hair kicked up in the wind as I ran, fumbling down streets I thought maybe I’d recognized, turning corner after corner until I reached… a dead end.

I spun around, breathing heavily. Where the hell was I?

Looking around in the dim twilight, I saw nothing I could use as a landmark, even the pillars I’d seen before had vanished behind the lines of houses and extravagant buildings. I’d definitely moved uptown at the very least, surrounded by mansions and gardens, street lights began to shimmer as the sun finally settled behind the skyline, making it a little easier to see.

The nightlife of Val Royeaux began to pour from the houses, music and laughter, lights flickering inside distant buildings. Parties, gallas, all the like were raging on inside each and every house. It was rather intoxicating. I tried to retrace my steps, had I taken a left or a right two blocks back… was it straight or… nope, I was totally lost.

I groaned internally, walking past a group of giggling women, and up to one of the guards that had been walking around the area. I tapped him on the shoulder.

“Excuse me Ser, I was hoping you could tell me how to get back to my Inn?” I asked as politely as possible as he turned to face me. I realized suddenly I didn’t even know the name of my Inn, I was completely and utterly lost.

The man looked me up and down, his eyes lingering on my ears before his gaze settled on my face.

“Which Inn?” He asked, clearly irritated with my very existence.

“Oh, I, uh, I’m not certain? It was near the market, in the nicer district? The group from the Inquisition is currently staying there, and I with them.” I said, trying to hide my embarrassment, I can’t believe nobody told me the name of the damned inn we were staying at. Ridiculous. Although I guess I never cared to look at any of the signs around it, so they weren’t entirely to blame.

“You’re with the inquisition then?” He scoffed, giving me a short look over. He didn’t seem impressed.

“I’m an advisor, actually, to the Herald of Andraste himself, I’m sure he’s terribly worried about me. If you could just point me to the market I’m sure I could find my way back from there.” I replied, tucking my hands behind my back, a pose I’d learned from Solas, though the guard didn’t seem to like that.

“Keep your hands where I can see them Knife-Ear.” Ouch, okay. I moved my hands back in front of me. He sneered down at me, before grabbing my wrist and snapping something onto it, I looked down, handcuffs. Handcuffs?!

“What are you doing?!” I screeched, just as he grabbed my other hand, clamping it into place with my other hand.

“What does it look like? Arresting you for lying to a guard,” He replied with almost a laugh, grabbing my neck and pushing me in front of him. “Don’t try anything funny or I’ll add assault to your charges.”

I strained against the cuffs, they didn’t give, though… I noticed they weren’t enchanted, that song wasn’t there, the one from the armor.

I complied, allowing him to push me down the road for a few feet, until I saw a particularly dark alley coming up. I concentrated, what had Solas said before? “Will the magic and something, something”? I focused on the lock, I pictured in my head a key, specifically the one on his belt. I pushed the key inside, I twisted, and… with a clack the shackles fell to the ground, and before he could react I was running, spinning into the alley with a cocky wave.

I ran a few feet, hearing him calling out behind me, I ducked behind a rather large waste bin, pressing myself against it. He ran right by me, yelling after nothing.

Giggling to myself I slipped back around the corner from where I’d come, taking off my mask and tucking it in my satchel. I pulled off my sweater and tied it around my hips, pulled my hair up into a ponytail, and started walking towards where he had been dragging me.

Low and behold, the market was right next to the jail, which in turn was right next to… my inn. I bolted for the doors of the familiar hotel, all bright and shining in the dark of night. I slipped in, closing the door gently behind me. I exhaled, leaning my head back against said door. A long inhale, my eyes sliding closed, a wide smile across my lips.

I heard a “tsk,” sound and looked up to see Solas halfway across the room, stomping up to me. I frantically searched for the doorknob behind me, eager to return to my imprisonment than face my… boyfriend? Ew, that’s not the word.

He was to me now, his gaze stern, and I could just see Ben ducking his head around the corner to watch, mouthing “You’re in trouble.”

“Where have you been?!” Solas snapped, stopping just in front of me, essentially trapping me against the door.

“I, I went to find someone to make the bike,” I whimpered, looking down at my feet.

“Hours, Melana! You’ve been gone for several hours! It took you from noon to night to get the proper smith?!” He threw his hands up in disbelief. “I was worried sick, you could have gotten lost, or been attacked!”

I pointed a finger to his chest, pushing him a step back, my own anger now bubbling.

“You’re the one who said you wanted to stay back to deal with ‘Business’, it’s not my fault this damn city is so big! Every street looks the same! I spent more time looking for the damn Inn than I did talking to actual blacksmiths!” I pulled my hand back. Breathing again. “I’m sorry, I should have... come back sooner. It took me a long time to find someone actually willing to try their hand at our… project,” I chose my words carefully, knowing full well that Ben was watching. “When I finally did I ended up staying for tea, and we talked longer than I meant to.”

Solas studied my face, looking from one eye to the other. He exhaled, bringing his hands up to cup my cheeks, putting my forehead against his.

“I apologize, I shouldn’t have left you to the city on your own.” His eyes slid closed, just holding me there for a moment. I brought a hand up to hold his.

“I almost got arrested.” I chuckled. He flinched back. “He said I lied to him when I claimed to be an advisor of the inquisition, I really need a pin or something.”

He rolled his eyes. “You don’t appear to be in chains, what happened?”

“Oh!” I clapped my hands together and he smirked, curious. “I used magic!” his eyes widened. “I used that spell you used on the cabin, the one that unlocks the door! I just focused and the shackles fell right off!”

“It seems your powers are growing quite quickly.” He took a step forward, planting a chaste kiss on the top of my head. “You may even outgrow me at this rate.”

I stuck out my tongue, as though that could ever happen. He smirked, bending down to kiss my nose, then my cheek. I swallowed, his lips moving down and ever so gently pressing to the base of my neck, breathing raggedly there, it seemed he was about to say something but Ben decided it was time to interrupt.

“Mel!” Ben’s voice shook the room and Solas jumped back from me, I’d never seen him move so quickly. “You’re back!”

I blinked, trying to clear the hunger from my loins before finally reacting to Ben. I took a step forward, then another, then I was bounding over to him. I lunged into his open arms, as he caught me he spun, twirling me around with hearty laughter.

He sat me back down only after Solas cleared his throat.

“I was worried sick, I thought we had a lunch date!” Ben chastised, punching me in the side of the arm. I rubbed where he’d hit, it stung more than I’d expected. I chuckled, but then his eyes widened and my humor faded. I followed his gaze. Oh yeah.

“Your arm,” Ben gasped, grabbing my wrist to pull my tattered arm more into view. I’d completely forgotten about my crash. Solas was on me in an instant, his hands a glow as Ben held my arm up.

“What did you do?” Solas asked, his voice even, but I knew him well enough to know he was very not happy.

“I fell off my bike,” I replied blandly. “I scraped my knees too.”

Ben bent down, allowing Solas full reign over my arm. His magic tingled against my skin, almost uncomfortably. I heard a gasp as Ben pulled my pant legs up. I hadn’t really looked at them at all, but my left knee was in fact torn to absolute shit. The leggings were ruined, dried blood stained into them, though my pants seemed fine, other than a few blotches of blood. My right leg was much less scraped up, the legging taking most of the damage.

Solas was preoccupied with my arm, so I got to watch as Ben attempted healing magic, which was entertaining to say the least.

What was better was when Varric walked in the room, mid drink. I got a full spit take.

Both the men turned to look over their shoulders at the dwarf who was sputtering with laughter at the sight before him. I guess it would be funny, both of them fussing over little ol me.

“Okay, guys that’s enough!” I huffed, pushing past the two of them, actually I pretty much had to step over Ben. “I’m the healer, I can deal with it on my own.”

The two of them started to protest but I was already gone, hurrying up to my room and slamming the door behind me. I immediately went and pulled the bathroom string, summoning another bath. I almost felt bad, but at the same time, I really needed it.

I collapsed on the bed, with a loud huff, the pillows fell to the ground, and my hand touched something I hadn’t noticed. I sat up.

A bag.

I scooted closer to it, grabbing it.

The best description I could give would be a christmas bag, paper and with a lot of silly colors. I reached inside, and the first thing I felt was soft, lacey… oh. I pulled out the handful of smallclothes Solas had bought me, setting them down next to me. I’d almost forgotten that as well. I turned my attention back to the bag. There was something else inside.

I reached in and pulled out a necklace, a clear purple crystal hanging at the end of a thin chain. I held it up, spinning it slightly, the inside of the crystal swirled with magic, an enchanted amulet apparently, though I was unsure of what it did. I quickly put it on though the clasp fought me, eventually I got it on. I jumped up, going over to the mirror. It looked lovely, sat just below my collarbone, and almost glowed with magical light.

I looked longer in the mirror. Examining my form. I pulled my shirt off, my sweater, my pants, having to peel my leggings off and toss them in the trash. I let my hair down, cascading, messy swirls of blonde bouncing below my shoulders. I spent the next ten minutes healing my arm, which took a stupid amount of energy for such a simple thing. But by the time the servants brought up the hot water, my arm was clear of any marks. Though the same couldn’t be said for my leg.

They didn’t give me a second look, laying on the bed to watch as they filled my tub, which had already been cleaned from my previous bath.

Eventually the tub was full and they left, shutting the door behind them. I jumped up from the bed, walking over to the mirror one last time. Solas’ smalls were still sitting comfortably on my body. I did a small spin in them before taking them off as well, lastly unhooking my bra, and hopping into the tub.

It was a little too hot, and I had to keep my knee out until I finished healing it, which didn’t take long. I scrubbed the dried blood off my shin, which turned the water brown for only a moment before it faded away. Magic water? Well now I didn’t feel as bad about requesting a second bath.

I washed my hair, using the soaps they supplied and not my own, rinsing carefully and brushing it with my fingers, thankful that I hadn’t gotten any dreadlocks from the way I’d been letting it down all the time. I leaned my head against the back of the tub, twisting my torso so my legs were fully underwater, my breasts sort of floating on the surface. I loved clawfoot tubs, they were so damn big.

I stayed like that for a while, eyes closed, humming quietly, just soaking.

_Creeeaaak_

I flinched up at the sound of my door opening, instinctively covering my chest, the water sloshing around me.

“Vhenan?” Solas’ voice came from the room adjacent to the one I was currently naked in. I didn’t respond, the sound of shuffling, then, his arm appeared in the doorway, which I had left open. He reached across and grabbed the door, pulling it almost closed. Some more shuffling, the creaking of my bed...

“You should lock your door if you’re going to bathe.” He chuckled from the other room, the sounds of pages turning indicated he was reading his book again. I almost growled.

“You should knock,” I hissed back, moving from my guarded position to wet my hair again.

“I did,” He replied. “Perhaps I was just worried about you, you did seem quite shaken.”

I huffed, running my fingers back through my hair one more time before standing up, the water falling from my body, as well as splashing in the tub. I stepped out, grabbing my towel and wrapping it around my torso, carefully securing it. I grabbed a second towel and tussled my hair with it, drying it only slightly, before walking over to the door. He’d yet to say anything else, maybe he’d gone? I put my fingertips to the wood, pushing only slightly, just enough to look out into the room.  
He was sitting with his legs crossed, looking down at his book. I pushed the door open a little more and his eyes snapped up, locking with mine. I almost locked myself back in the bathroom, but he held up a slip of green fabric between two fingers. Well I say slip it’s actually quite larger than that, I mean my favorite panties aren't a thong or something weird- my favorite panties!

“I thought I’d return these, seeing as I took mine back while you were away.” He dropped them on the bed, next to my pile of new undies. I looked at him, then at them.

I pushed the door the rest of the way open and stepped through, he closed his book and exhaled as I crossed the room to dig through the pile of underwear.

“So it went well then? With the smith?” He asked, clearing his throat and putting his book down. I hummed, shaking my head, looking for a specific pair I’d seen…

“No, I couldn’t find a smith willing to dismantle the bike. I did however find an engineer who was eager to try at least. We agreed on a 60/40 split,” I replied, finally finding the one I wanted. I didn’t even go back into the bathroom to change, pulling them on under my towel. Solas inhaled. Odd how loud he as being with his breathing. I glanced around the room, the servants had taken my clothes again.

I moved in front of Solas.

“I told him how to contact us once he was done, so we should hear from him in a few weeks. Here take this off.” I reached out and grabbed the edge of his sweater, not his usual tight fitting one I noticed, a little looser. Like a night sweater.

“What?” He asked but lifted his arms up all the same, pulling the garment off and setting it aside, exposing his undershirt; a simple tan tank top. I grabbed it and yanked it over my head, dropping the towel after it was past my breast.

“The people took my clothes.” I sighed, grabbing the pile of underwear and walking them over to my bag, tucking them inside. He nodded in response.

I pulled my tome out, tossing it on the bed next to him before looking back to my pack, he glanced down to it for but a moment until his gaze shifted back to me.

“You’re going to read?” He asked, standing up from the bed and walking over to me. I tried to ignore the heavy beating of my heart as his presence grew closer and closer still, until he was directly behind me.

“You told me to study it,” I replied, standing up, I turned around to find him barely two feet away from me. “I’d hate to disappoint you Vhenan.” I was careful to enunciate it, the ‘V’ word. I doubt I’d said it yet, I tended to avoid elven whenever possible seeing as I didn’t know the full language.

His eyes were heavy on mine when I said it, and for a moment it seemed neither of us were breathing, locked in eye contact, scared to make the first move. How quickly were we supposed to do something like this? I hadn’t been intimate with someone in years, I mean I’d come close a few months back but… with Solas, I wouldn’t want to stop. I doubt I could bring myself to stop. I’d lose control of myself the minute he touched me, and I knew it. I’d be putty.

“I doubt you could ever do anything resembling disappointment.” He spoke finally, breaking the tension. I chuckled stepping past him, our shoulders barely brushing. I stood in front of the bed, picking up my book, I opened it but he put his hand to the cover, slamming it closed. I turned to question him and he was on me, one hand grabbing for my waist, pulling me flush against him, the other dragging into my hair, pushing my lips into his. He was fumbling, wanting and needing but unsure of how to start, but I responded instantly, grabbing his shirt and yanking him closer still.

I gasped against him as he caught my lip between his teeth, growling his desire as he kissed where he’d bit, soothing what little pain he’d caused. I slid my hands up his shirt, his smooth skin a welcome feeling against my still damp fingers, he reacted by pulling away from me, gaining a frustrated whine from me. He grabbed the edges of his shirt and yanked it above his head, tossing it to the floor. I drank him in for but an instant, I’d seen him shirtless before, but honestly I could look for years. I ran a careful hand over his pinkened scar on his chest. For a beat we were quiet, he watched my hand, then grabbed it, bringing it up to his mouth to plant a kiss on my palm.

He kissed up my wrist, trailing soft, gentle kisses up my still clothed arm, until he reached my neck. His hands wandered down, slowly pulling the sweater up, enough to slip his hands under and push it up over my head, his hands ghosting over my breasts as he did. I shook my hair, still damp and dripping large droplets of water down my now nude torso as he tossed the sweater to the ground.

“I see you got the present,” He hummed, lightly touching the crystal the hung around my neck. “That merchant, the one who claimed he had trinkets from Arlathan… wasn’t entirely wrong.”

His eyes never left me, he stepped closer and I stepped back, my knees bumping the bed.

“Melana,” He whispered, his forehead resting against mine, eyes closing in scowl. “We shouldn’t…”

“Solas,” I replied, lifting up onto my tip toes to kiss him again, he returned it, breathing out through his nose as I pulled his chest against mine. I could feel him hard against me, pressing against my stomach. I broke the kiss, and he leaned forward for more. “We should, we really, really should.”

With that he growled one last time, his final walls falling down, he kissed me again, his lips moulding against mine, pushing them open, his tongue pressing in, rolling against my own. I moaned, almost smiling with excitement. I reached forward, grabbing his trousers and unlacing them. He wasn’t wearing his usual leggings, thank the gods, we would have been there all night unwrapping them. His lips went to leave mine, but I nipped at his tongue and he hungrily returned for more, allowing me to push his pants down to the floor.

“Solas, the door,” I gasped in between kisses, he simply grunted, twirled his hand in the air and the door locked shut. Which honestly was really hot.

He stepped out of his pants and towards me, kicking them backwards. I had yet to see it but I could feel it there, larger than I had originally anticipated, pressing against me. I brought my hand between us, grasping it, and he pulled back from our kiss to bury his head in my shoulder and moan. Rather… loudly. Which was unexpected. And delicious. I rolled my palm over the head of his cock and he shuddered, gasping against me.

Oh no, oh gods, he was so cute.

Using a bit of precum as lube I pumped him once, and he gripped my arms, stifling another moan but pushing me to continue. I glanced to the bed just behind me, and without removing my hand, I slowly started kissing his ear, his jaw, down his neck, his collar, lowering myself onto my knees, trailing my tongue over his nipple, his stomach, over his hip bone… I paused, looking up at him.

He was an absolute mess. His fist balled in front of his mouth, a dark blush across his cheeks, and his eyes dark with lust. I released his cock from my hand and grabbed his hips, spinning us around so he was against the bed. He looked at me curiously before I shoved him into it, forcing him to sit down, his cock standing positively straight up.

I slid my hands up his thighs, watching him quiver as I drew closer. I looked at his dick, inches in front of my face now, and gods was it perfect. Pink and pulsing, waiting for me to touch it, and fuck just so big. Not too long, nice and thick, a good cock. I could feel my mouth watering. I swallowed, trying to hide the fact that I was admiring him.

I didn’t hide it well, he looked positively smug. I cocked an eyebrow, scooting in, my mouth barely touching it. I exhaled, blowing lightly against him and he tensed, obviously fighting another moan.

“Vhenaaaan,” I sung, eyes locked to his. He hummed but didn’t respond, in fact the hum was barely a hum, more of a suffered moan. “Ar tu ma garas," I chuckled, pressing my lips into the side of his cock. He shuddered against my touch and I thought for a moment that saying I would make him cum would simply… make him cum. Alas, I doubt I’ll ever be that good. I slowly dragged my tongue up from the base of his cock to the head, drawing out a hiss from him as he breathed in.

I teased him for only a moment, drawing circles around the tip, he had foreskin, I could tell, but it seemed to pull itself down naturally from the sheer size of his dick. Which made my life easier. He was panting with desire by the time I brought the head into my mouth, rolling my tongue against him as I allowed him entry. He threw his head back, unable to stop the amazing sounds coming out of his mouth as I pressed my own mouth down further. I knew I wouldn’t be able to take him all the way in, but I had some ideas for that.

“Elvarel,” he urged me, more he begged.

I took him in as far as I could, my head bobbing up and down as I went, his hand moved from the bed to grip my hair, guiding me, forcing me to go faster, deeper, until I pushed against his hand and came up for air, gasping.

“Ah- Vhenan, I’m sorry I didn’t-”

“Solas I’m fine, you’re just… gigantic.” I chuckled, planting a kiss to the side of his cock. He returned the slight laugh, lovingly drawing circles in my hair.

He was about to say something, but I was back on him, wrapping my tongue around his cock and drawing back up, carefully wetting every inch of it, of which there were at least nine. I returned to suckling the tip, but this time bringing my fist tight around his dick, pumping up and down in a rhythm along with my mouth, drawing an endless string of gasps and moans from him, along with the occasional groan of my name, which just made me more enthusiastic. His hand soon returned to my hair, though this time he tried not to push me down, but simply guide my speed.

His breath became more erratic, his hand started pushing me faster, his moaning turned to cursing, swearing in elven, until he gasped loudly, and pulled my head back, popping his dick out of my mouth.

I looked at him, his quivering, shaking form, he held me just above him as he attempted to steady his breath.

“...Solas?” I called, and he shot back up.

“Vhenan, you are… far too good at that.” He chuckled, sitting all the way up and starting to scoot back, I whined for his cock as it inched away from me. “Patience, I don’t want to be spent so quickly.”

I huffed but stood up, wiping a bit of saliva from my chin.

“Though I do rather enjoy the sight of you on your knees.” Solas hummed and I blushed as he continued. “It seems you also enjoy being on your knees.” He moved towards the edge of the bed, standing up, and I remembered he wasn’t a soft boy like the rest I’d been with, Solas had experience, Solas was strong. And tall. He stood over me, stepping around to push me onto the bed this time. We had instantly switched roles, I became the blushing mess who couldn’t stop twitching at his every move, and he became very sure of himself, almost stern with me.

He bent down in front of me, pulling my ass to the edge of the bed. He kissed my knee, up my thigh, trailing his kisses up, spreading my legs with his rough hands, my brand new panties already soaked through. He passed over them, kissing my stomach instead, between my breasts, my collarbone, my jaw, I was a squirming mess, he sucked a hickey into the soft spot on my neck. I felt the light touch of his thumb against my panties, pressing gently against me, forcing a moan out. He pushed harder and I practically came on the spot.

“Oh? So ready for me already,” he chuckled against my neck, he pulled back, bringing his thumb up to his mouth and licking it. I was going to swoon. “Just a little longer Ma’vhenan’ara.”

He then did something that I wanted to smack him for, he tore my panties off, with a smile on his face he grabbed my panties at the sides, and pulled them apart, tossing the shredded mess across the room. I was about to react, scold him or laugh, but the breath was stolen from my lungs as he dove down and flicked his tongue across my clit. I made a squeaking noise, struggling to keep myself sitting up as he did it again, and again, somehow finding just that spot, suckling and pulling, his heavy tongue pressing fully against it before sliding down and slipping inside of me. At that I fell backwards, my hands flying above my head to grip the blankets as he dug inside me.

He returned to the clit with a vengeance, teasing me as I had him, drawing circles around it, only to suck it fully into his mouth seconds later, bringing me near the edge and then teasing me back down, my back arching every time, begging for him to let me cum, let it end, only for him to let me fall, never allowing the release. He slipped a finger inside at one point, immediately overwhelming all of my senses, only to draw it right back out.

He breathed heavily, whispering into my stomach, “Dirth ma nuvenin emma’in ma,” I barely heard it, and I didn’t know the response in elven, but I knew what it meant.

“Solas,” I gasped, “Vhenan- please, please I want you inside me,” He didn’t need anything more than that, he shot to his feet and bent down over me, kissing me roughly, my taste still lingering on his tongue, he pulled me down just slightly, his rock hard cock pressing against my dripping wet cunt, begging him to come inside. He pulled his hips back, thrusting against me but not entering, he did it again, just sliding against me. Losing patience, I reached down, grabbed his cock, and angled it just outside.

“Ven felas,” I whispered and he hummed in return, slowly, ever gently, he pressed into me, inch by inch, with his face buried in my shoulder, groaning into me as I bit down on my lip. It was torture, pain and pleasure as he slipped inside, until his pelvis rested against my own, he exhaled. His hands slid up my back, gripping my shoulders. We sat, breathing for a moment, as he filled me absolutely entirely, a curve to his cock my body wasn’t used to, stretching me further than I’d ever been.

“I’m going to move now vhenan,” He whispered.

“Slowly please,” I repeated, this time in common, barely audible, but he obeyed, slowly he pulled himself out, and slowly he pushed himself back in, drawing me quickly closer to the end, though the pace was perfect to start, he quickly needed more. With each thrust he grew a little faster, gaining louder moans from me to match his own. We quickly found a rhythm that agreed with us both, which was rough, his body slapping into mine with each violent movement. Soon he was pulling me down into him as well as thrusting against me, my arms thrown around his back, begging him to go faster, “Harder, right there, oh gods Solas, fuck, I can’t-” His mouth crashed against mine, swallowing my pleas.

One of his hands disappeared between us and found itself pushing circles into my clit, and like a bolt of lightning crashing to the earth my orgasm hit, my body shaking, tightening, my nails digging into his skin. With another curse, his thrusts grew erratic and he spilled into me, his body tensing and twitching, until relaxing against me.

For a moment we were quiet, laying there, his weight heavy on mine… and then I started to giggle, then it turned into a laugh, and then Solas was staring at me like I’d just lost my mind. He pushed off and out of me, just sort of hovering above me as I just lost myself in my giggles.

“What…?”

“We could have been doing this the whole time! God I should have told you how I felt back when we were in Haven!” I said through the giggles. “You’re just, you’re perfect,” I threw my arms around his neck, pulling him back down, kissing him. “I love you, Solas.”

He shook his head, chuckling.

“I love you too Ma’vhenan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have never, in my life, written smut like this, smut this detailed, and just... fuckin specific. ANYWAY WHO WANTS TO KNOW WHAT DIRTY EVLEN THINGS THEY WAS SAYING?! You do, thats right. 
> 
> Ar tu ma garas : I will make you come  
> Dirth ma nuvenin emma’in ma : tell me you want me inside you.  
> Elvarel : More  
> Ven felas : go slow.
> 
> Can you imagine if I'd put these at the beginning of the chapter? HA everyone would have known what kind of smut you were in for. This chapter was originally 4k words but then I realized I had a hankering for some smut today. So. You're welcome? I guess?


	19. Bruising

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here are some draws to go with tonights chapter <3 (not really spoilery also I drew them a while ago)
> 
> http://masmkasm.tumblr.com/post/150335574317/highlights-from-the-next-chapter-which-im
> 
> Have fun with this one guys!

I woke fully twice during the night, the first because someone had stolen all of the blankets, and that someone was me, as I had a habit of creating a cocoon. Solas was gentle, wiggling inside my nest, entangling his legs with mine, and when I stirred with threats to scoot away, he kissed my forehead, whispering that I was okay and to go back to sleep.

The second time I woke was due to the abundance of warmth in our little bubble. It had been a long time since I shared my bed with someone, I forgot how hot and sweaty it got. I started pulling away, desperate to escape his grasp, but he held me tighter, I complained, whining that he was too hot, but he only grunted, scowled, and drew a circle into my back which instantly cooled me. How he could do such things with ease while half awake, I'd never understand, but honestly it made cuddling a thousand times easier. I immediately snuggled back into him, his body heat now welcome against my chilled skin.

I didn't sleep as solidly as I would have wanted, always slightly awake, aware of his every movement, his breathing, every sound he made... I'd always struggled sleeping with someone new. It took a while for me to adjust, and it would certainly take more than one night.

Morning came when the staff snuck into my room to deliver my cleaned clothes, only to gasp when they saw the mess we'd made. I sat up, careful not to disturb Solas though I did startle the servants. I blinked a few times, my eyes heavy with sleep, stretching my arms skyward as I let out a yawn.

They didn't say anything to me, quietly cleaning up my torn undies and taking both our clothes to wash as I fumbled in to the bathroom, rubbing crusties off my eyes. My jaw was sore, as I'm sure it would be for the rest of the day, and my knees wobbled as I walked, which only brought the memories of the previous night back. It had all happened so fast, we'd barely spoken before or after. I hadn't even washed up. I plopped down on the toilet, which was really just a chair over a pot, and did my business.

I washed my face in the basin by the tub as one of the servants rushed in to empty the pot, another starting to scrub the bath. I hadn't really looked at them, the two elves blushing and silently running around me, cleaning all my messes up. I should tip them, I thought as I walked back into the main room, stretching my sore ligaments again.

I strolled over to the fainting couch, where my book had fallen off the bed. It was open to a random page, waiting for me to return to it.

The servants, apparently done with cleaning the tub, started to leave, picking up the basket of laundry as they went.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I whispered, grabbing one by the hand, she paused to turn towards me. "Do you think you could have someone bring breakfast up? I think I forgot to eat dinner again last night."

"Or course Serah," she said with a polite bow. Her accent was so cute, she probably didn't know too much common. The two of them shuffled silently out of the room, closing and locking the door behind them. Leaving me alone with the still sleeping Solas.

He had spread out since I'd left, one leg sticking out of the blankets, his chest fully exposed and his left hand where I had just been laying, gripping my pillow. His right hand balled up over his eyes, attempting to block out the light. He looked so cozy, I wished silently that I’d actually been able to sleep, I’m sure we could have enjoyed the fade together.

I watched him breathing for longer than I should have, just… making sure that this was real. Watching his chest rise and fall… his foot twitch before rolling over… I inhaled. He was too perfect, this had to be a dream, a simulation, maybe I was in a coma or hallucinating, been roofied or something.

I pinched my arm. It hurt. I exhaled. I resolved myself to stop thinking that all of this was fake.

I spent a good ten minutes curled up on the couch just idly reading my book before the staff returned with our breakfast, setting it on a tray next to the bed, and then sneaking back out. Solas didn’t react until the smell of said breakfast filled the room. He sniffed, sat up, and then without really opening his eyes all the way; he looked around the room. He seemed a bit confused, as though he didn’t know where he was, but then his gaze settled on me, leaning with my head cradled in my arms, smiling up at him.

He began to recall the previous night, as his eyes widened, blinked a few times, and then his expression shifted into a soft smile.

“You seem to have found the key to waking me.” He said, sliding the blankets off his chest and turning his attention to the tray of food.

“Well I considered a few other ways, but I was hungry.” I hummed, I stood up from my spot on the couch and sauntered over, his eyes drifting over to the edge of my shirt as I made my way to a specific piece of bacon that was calling my name. I grabbed it and bit a chunk off of the end, the crunch far more satisfying than I anticipated. I hummed my love for the taste, my eyes sliding closed of their own volition.

I felt Solas’ hand around my waist, pulling me closer. With him sitting on the bed he was just at my neck, and he took advantage of that, placing slow, gentle kisses to my collar bone.

“You should eat the food Vhenan, not me.” I chuckled, offering him a bite from my bacon slice. He bit softly into my skin, gaining a gasp from me before he yanked the entire length of bacon out of my hand, and stood up from the bed, walking past me.

I rolled my eyes and took his place on the now empty mattress, placing a few pillows behind me and pulling the tray down onto the blankets with me. They’d brought a plethora of fruit and veggies, along with bacon, and two chunks of bread. I started popping grapes into my mouth as he brought his arm up over his head and stretched out, the sounds of a few joints popping as he did. I was completely entranced by the sight of his back. Long arching muscles, shoulder blades that held scratch marks from the night before… not to mention the curve of his ass was definitely something to write home about.

Home. For the first time in a long time, I felt at home. I couldn’t hide my growing smile.

Solas walked over to my pack, stealing out one of his underwear, then went into the bathroom, closing the door behind him, and a few minute later reemerged with his face washed, a towel hanging around his neck and the underpants on.

“You’re smiling at me vhenan,” He hummed as he bent down over me, stealing a grape from the plate.

“I may do that a lot in the future.” I replied, pushing up onto my elbows to plant a kiss on his lips before he popped the grape in his mouth. “We have a lot to do today,” I added as he settled onto the bed next to me. “With the chantry and all.”

“Yes what can you recall about our meeting this afternoon?” He asked in between bites. I cocked my head to the side, thinking, trying to remember the earliest stages of the game.

“We’ll meet them in the courtyard, near the markets.” I started, and he nodded me on. “They’ll claim to have the templars back to help them, but then the commander goes on the stage and punches the lady, at least I think it’s the commander.”

“He’ll punch her?” He scoffed in disbelief.

“He’ll try to.” I replied, sinking further into the bed. “Anyway, then he’ll say some garbage about how the inquisition sucks and the templars don’t obey the chantry anymore, blah blah blah, Cassandra will try to talk to him and he’ll brush her off, then they’ll leave. Oh! We’re going to meet Sera, and Vivienne while we’re here, I almost forgot.”

“Sera?” Solas asked, not bothering to finish chewing.

 “Of the Red Jennies, I’ll let you guys handle that bit, I’d rather not get into a firefight. Ben will go see Vivienne alone, probably tonight… but that’s fine. He’ll be fine.” I reached past Solas and grabbed a chunk of bread, bringing it over and pulling off bits to munch on.

“Ben intends for us to leave today after meeting with the chantry,” Solas said, watching me eat. I shrugged, even if he intended that, there was no guarantee that that's what was happening. All I knew was that we were meeting Sera and Vivienne while in Orlais, and that it happened shortly after meeting the chantry. I mean I didn’t know that we’d be staying a few days beforehand as well, as far as my knowledge went, we would go to Orlais for like an hour and then go home.

“Fiona, the leader of the Mage Rebellion will show up at some point as well, probably when we’re leaving, to invite us to Redcliffe.” I added, ignoring the idea that we might not meet up with more companions.

“Where the Tevinter mage is,” He added. “Or at least will be once he alters the timeline.”

“Oh look at you,” I giggled. “You’ve been paying attention.”

“Of course,” he replied with a soft smile. “We have a few hours before we need to get ready for the meeting, do you have anything else you need to do?”

I thought on it a moment. Nothing jumped out at me, I’d pretty much done everything I’d needed to do while in Orlais. We were waiting for the armor to be delivered, and my bike was being worked on. That was the extent of my mission.

“I need to finish the book you gave me.” I rolled onto my back, staring up at the ceiling. “Other than that… no?”

He made a hum of agreement, idle chit chat taking over the conversation as we continued to eat, the occasional flirtatious comment or joke making it's way in there once in awhile, but for the most part we just ate. Eventually I got my book and started reading, I was almost done with it, and soon I could actually start trying some of the things that were in it. Mending bones, internal damage, concussions… the book covered everything. I tied up my hair and slid onto the floor to read, and Solas curled up behind me, reading over my shoulder. He’d make a note every couple pages, telling me the proper way to execute this spell and that charm, practically arguing with the book for an entire paragraph. Honestly it was all rather entertaining.

The servants came back a few hours later and gave us our freshly cleaned clothes, this time I did tip them ten gold, which got me some very wide eyed smiles, before they scurried back out. Solas and I took our time getting dressed, he braided my hair for me first, kissing the back of my neck and my shoulders as he went. I was a little surprised he knew how to braid hair, perhaps he had once done it on himself… I would ask later. We got dressed, in pretty much the same outfits as yesterday, as those were the only clothes we had at the moment, and donned our masks.

We were about to head back down when I realized today wasn’t a day I wanted to go unprotected. I looked to my staff leaning lazily against the wall by the door, where I’d moved it to the day before. I needed to bring the staff either way, but did I want to put it on? Bring it with? I hesitated, part of me not wanting to take it, not wanting to think we could get into trouble, but in the end I grabbed it, wrapping it's leather holder around my torso. I turned back to Solas who looked grim for but an instant before nodding. He ducked out of the room, checking to make sure no one was there before planting a chaste kiss on the top of my head, and then heading back to his room. I watched him go for but a moment, enjoying the sight of him sneaking back… before turning back into my own space, taking it all in.

This had been the first time I’d really relaxed since I’d gotten swept up in this land. The big cushy bed, the more than amazing bath tub… and I had to say goodbye to all of it. The fainting couch was probably the hardest thing to give up, I’d had one before, when I’d lived with my Grandparents in their bed and breakfast, so it was really the most familiar thing for me in the city. I let out a whimpering sigh as I tucked the last of my belongings into my pack, drawing my hand over the top of the couch, the thick fabric pulling on me to stay, I had to force myself to step back, yanking my backpack on over one shoulder. One last glance goodbye to the room and I was closing and locking the door behind me.

The entire building seemed hushed, you’d expect it to be buzzing, being just past noon and all. The sound of the creaking floorboards was all that accompanied me on my way down to the main entrance, where Ben and Varric were already waiting, standing next to each other in front of the desk. Ben glanced up when I walked in, looking me up and down, as though I’d gone through some great change in the last few hours.

“Morning,” I chirped as I descended the last of the stairs, Varric’s eyes snapping up to me as I spoke. The room was empty save the two of them, the same gold and green decor covering every inch of the long hallway, couches and small circular tables lining the walls, ornate paintings hanging above each one, making the room feel more full than it was.

“Sleep well?” Varric asked as I finished my approach, placing my key on the desk next to theirs.

“Sleep at all?” Ben corrected, that usual devilish smirk on his face.

“I slept,” I sighed, plopping my pack on the ground with a grunt. “Not very well, but I slept.”

Ben could not stop smiling, even when Varric turned back towards him to resume their conversation, all he could do was smile like he knew exactly how much sleep I’d gotten and why. He was going to be the death of me.

I knelt down on the ground, lifting the straps on my bag to dig through for no real reason, just keeping my hands busy. I tried to make it look like I was double checking everything, making sure I had all my things in order, but in all honesty I was completely zoning out. I stayed that way for a few minutes, mindlessly pushing things back and forth until eventually Cassandra came downstairs, her clinking, clunking armor making it easy to tell where she was. Accompanying her was Solas, his pack and staff strapped to his back, hands clasped behind him, chin high, engaged in a quiet discussion with our seeker.

I stood, quickly lacing my straps back up.

“Cassandra,” I called, waving over to her, she looked up from Solas, who paused momentarily to send me a slight glance before walking down the rest of the steps. “Goodmorning!” I finished, smiling as she said it back, she was, in a strange way, my friend. Though I’d never expected the Seeker to think of me in that way, I never had any ill thoughts against her, but she wasn’t the easiest person to warm up to. She surprised me there I guess.

The two of them quickly finished their descent and crossed the floor over to us, placing their keys on the desk as we had. We exchanged a few pleasantries, and when Ben asked, Solas told him he slept better than he has in years, complementing the bedspread. Ben raised his eyebrow at me and I stuck my tongue out, not giving him any information until we were alone. Maybe I’d tell him about it in the fade, if I wasn’t… busy.

At that, the group of us headed out of the Inn, our guards waiting outside, I’d near forgotten them. They happily took our packs and started loading the cart, which was lighter now without my bike weighing it down. Though the items we’d purchased seemed to take up that extra room, I even saw the fabric that was meant for my armor, and tried to get up on my tiptoes to catch a peak, but one of the guards plopped a bag on it just as I did.

“We’ll be back in an hour or two, I hope to leave before nightfall.” Ben said to the two of them, I only rolled my eyes, still not sure when we’d actually be leaving. It wasn’t like I loved Sera or Vivienne, I loved them as characters, sure, but I doubt we’d actually get along based on our views. Sera was super anti mage, and Vivienne was super pro circles. I was neither of those. But then again, I hadn’t been too sure about Cassandra, and we got along really well. So far.

Solas grabbed me by the elbow and I realized I’d zoned out again, he dragged me along a few feet to catch up with the group before letting go. He gave me a curious look but I didn’t have much to reply, I shrugged and smiled slightly, and the two of us continued on.

Ben guided us back to the main square, where the market had been previously, but today it was bustling for different reasons. Apparently they’d set up a sort of stage in front of some large gates near the north end of the courtyard, and a few people in the classic white chantry robes stood atop it. They weren’t saying anything to the crowd yet, and I saw Ben and Cassandra tense as we approached. I hung back, giving another small smile to Solas before creeping around the side of the crowd, attempting to break off from the group.

I pushed through the horde as they approached the stage, out of the corner of my eye I saw Solas’ gaze trained on me, a worried expression on his face. I popped out of the mass of people on the far right of the stage, right in front of the templars, I took a few steps towards them when suddenly I was no longer standing, with a thud I hit the ground, elbows hitting first followed by chin, I felt blood before my vision settled. I looked up and swallowed. The Knight Commander was standing about two feet away from me, with his eyes locked on my face, at first he looked like he was concerned, but that expression quickly shifted when he saw the staff strapped to my back.

I lurched upwards, my body aching as I stood, just as he began ordering his men to take me. Realizing there wasn’t anything more I could do there, I scrambled into the sea of NPC’s, all wobbly knees and scrunched up face as they charged in behind me.

Shit, shit, shit, I shouldn’t have done that, what was I even planning there? Run up to them and scream “The Knight Commander is evil!” No, because that would be dumber than tripping in front of him. I attempted to blend back into the crowd, but it was a tad difficult when I was sporting a blood drenched chin. I stuck out like a sore thumb. The Chantry woman was starting her speech now, shouting about how they didn’t approve of the inquisition, blah blah blah.

The crowd murmured in confusion as the Knight Commander stepped onto the stage, but they didn’t take notice of the two Templars who were shoving through the mob of them, slowly gaining more distance between us as I slipped easily through.

Shit.

I tried to think, what in the hell could I do to prevent this, it wasn’t even that big of a deal, I just really didn’t want him to punch that poor old woman, it had really been something I’d disliked. Even if she was a cunt. The Templars edged closer to me, I heard them stomping against the cobblestone in their full armor, similar to Cassandra this morning. Fuck it, I practically dove through the crowd, back to the inquisition party, just as the templars were fully on the stage and approaching the woman.

I grabbed Solas by the arm, tugging his ear closer down to me, if it was anyone else he probably wouldn’t have let them do such a rough thing.

“He’s going to hit her,” I reminded him. “I can’t stop him, you have to magic it.”

He flinched back at that, eyes hard on me, flicking from one side of my face to the other, then turning back to the stage, just as the templars arm reeled back, propelled forward and… stopped.

Solas’ hand next to mine was flexed, his jaw tight as he willed the fist to hold mid air. The Templar struggled against it as the woman fumbled back in fear, nearly falling over. I laced my fingers with Solas’ as he released the templar, and the man went stumbling forward, his fist flying to where the woman once was.

I released a breath I hadn’t known I was holding, my heart pounding in my ears. She’s fine, I thought, She’s fine, I repeated it a few times. Still not quite understanding why this was such a big deal for me, but then it clicked. This was an event set in stone in the games, something you couldn’t alter. This was my first real test, my first cutscene that I’d managed to shift, even though it was only slightly. I realized I hadn’t been entirely sure that I could change these instances, but this, this told me I could, that I could change the future.

I was cut off of that thought when a hand violently yanked at my elbow, a rather sharp, armored hand that wrenched me rearward, but I was anchored by Solas’ grip in mine. I pulled against the Templars clutch, as that was the only thing it could be; Solas looked back from the stage curious as to why I was tugging on him again, but when he saw the Templar, his temper altered radically.

He jerked me forward into his chest, wrapping an arm protectively around me, and glared the Templar down. The crowd was shouting and cheering all around us, unaware of the struggle happening among them. I wondered momentarily how many pickpockets were coasting through the throng of unsuspecting civilians with wide smiles.

The Templar, followed closely behind by another, stepped forward to begin addressing the two of us Apostates, hand on his sword and drawing it slightly, but he paused when he saw the Inquisitor, who was within two feet of Solas and I. His eyes narrowed, looking from us to Ben a few times before slowly sliding his sword back into its sheath, and walking a few paces back from us.

“Seriously Solas I need like, a pin that says I’m Ben’s advisor.” I exhaled when he was far enough away, trying to laugh but not finding the energy. Solas held me there a minute longer, as if he had to watch the Templars completely exit the crowd before releasing me, which is pretty much what he did, the minute they were out of his view he spun me around to look me over.

“You can’t keep doing things like this Melana,” He whispered, holding my shoulders on either side. He had to bend down a bit to look me sternly in the eyes. “This is the second time in the last 24 hours you’ve almost been arrested and-” He cut himself off, finally noticing the trail of blood trickling from my chin. He practically fumed with rage, his eyes darting around the crowd to try and find that Templar again, thinking he was the source of my injury.

“Solas-” I was about to inform him that my own idiocy was the reason for my pain, but was distracted by the crowd dispersing around us, and Ben walking off. I hadn’t really been paying attention, but apparently the little meeting was over, and Solas and I had to go be background NPCs for a while. We picked ourselves up, I was still minorly shaken from the whole thing, but Solas snapped right back into attention, putting on his metaphorical mask, careful to put me in front of him so I wouldn’t run off again.

We stood iddly in the background as Ben and Cassandra talked to the Knight Commander, and I struggled to stop feeling so embarrassed as I explained to Solas what had actually happened in low tones. Solas and the Templars were the only ones who knew what I’d done, but it felt like that simple blunder had been broadcasted throughout Thedas, and now Solas wouldn’t let me out of his sight. I needed to heal my chin, as it was still gushing with blood though it didn’t hurt much, but I couldn’t do anything in front of all these Templars. I held my hand to the gash in hopes of slowing the blood flow, and it worked for a while, but now my hand was covered in blood. I got odd looks from civilians as we finally walked away from the stage, all gawking at the blood covered elf.

Solas stood carefully behind me the entire time, I was a little surprised he didn’t just start pushing me to guide me, but no, he kept my exact pace, the perfect NPC that he was. It wasn’t until we’d all moved away to start talking about our plans when Ben noticed the blood dripping from my face. Ben virtually dove for me with his hands already glowing with healing magic.

“What in Andraste's name did you do?” The Inquisitor more or less growled as he tried to get the quickly drying blood off of my cheeks and nose, where I’d apparently rubbed it while attempting to stop the flow. I tried to answer but he only shushed me with: “I swear woman every time I turn around you’re either injured or about to be.”

I resigned myself to silence as he fussed over me in the middle of the square, a little miffed that he was mad at me, and a little more miffed that it wasn’t my apparent lover fussing over me. He probably had meant to as soon as we weren’t literally standing in front of a group of Templars, but Ben couldn’t exactly get in trouble with them. We all needing pins. “The Inquisitor Will Kill You if You Touch Us” pins… I’d run it by Josie when we got back to Haven.

Ben spent a good five minutes just trying to clean up my face, which I’m sure was quite the sight for everyone around, the giant lumberjack of a man with a worried mama bear look slapped on his robust features, trying to sort out his chunky elven companion. He finally seemed satisfied with my appearance, though I felt more messed up than when he started, and he took a step back from me, holding me at arm's length.

“Well… You did a real number on your chin. But… I mean…” He struggled to find the words, his nose scrunching as he got a good look at me, his eyes crinkling at the ends into little crows feet I hadn’t noticed before. Solas stepped out in front of us to examine Ben’s work and huffed a small sigh.

“She’ll do what she can on the return to Haven to heal it, but it will need some serious attention.” He snapped, practically glaring at my face. Mind you, not at me, I doubt he was mad enough at me to fully glare, he just seemed disappointed in the shoddy work Ben had done. For now. I’m sure he’d be plenty upset with me later for something I hadn’t meant to do. It seemed to be a pattern lately.

 “Is it that bad?” I asked, and as my jaw moved to speak I realized exactly how bad it really was. It seemed when I’d fallen, I’d landed rather flatly on my jaw. I’d been too panicked to notice it at the time, but not only did my chin ache like nobody's fucking business, but my teeth felt wrong. I ran my tongue quickly over my molars and low and behold, I’d chipped one of my back ones. Where the chunk of tooth had gone, I’d never know, but there was a clear dent in my backmost canine.

“It’s that bad.” Solas confirmed while I frantically reached for my face to feel around. Nothing felt broken, as far as I could tell, it was probably just bruised, maybe a cracked jaw bone, or something less scary sounding. I cursed myself internally, now I was even more embarrassed; not only had I nearly gotten arrested, I’d managed to actually damage my face. “But this is a good opportunity to put your healing skills to the test, a blessing in a curse so to speak.” Solas continued, and Ben nodded in agreement, though his face still twisted in irritation with his lack of proper healing skills.

“Fucking hell,” I swore under my breath as I felt the growing welt that was my chin, but even that little curse hurt my jaw. I scowled, swallowed, and then said, “It hurts to talk.” which hurt.

 “You’re going to have trouble speaking for a short time it seems, I’m sure that once you start the healing process, you’ll be talking again in no time, Lethallin.” Solas said, obviously pausing before calling me by what would normally be an endearing term, but was somewhat lacking in comparison to this mornings “Vhenan”’s. He waved his hand in front of my face, as I was about to protest the idea, I suddenly couldn’t, as if my mouth had been sewn shut. “For now you’ll have to communicate through expressions, like the one you’re currently wearing. I’d say you’re quite upset. Next time don’t run off.”

I deepened my scowl, and Solas continued. “Oh now I’d say she’s especially upset, but pertaining to what? We’ll not know until the healing is complete. How terribly tragic.” I’d never heard him use so much sarcasm before in my life. Not even in the game when talking to Sera or Varric, this was a new level of messing with me.

Varric snorted next to me. “You’re having fun with this aren't you Solas?”

“Take pleasure in my students pain? Why, I’d never.” He said with a completely serious face. I kicked him in the shin, and hummed a growl. “What's that Lethallin? You want Ben to carry you back to our cart so you can start healing yourself? What a wonderful idea.”

Ben, all too eager to carry me, bent down and grabbed me around my knees, ignoring my muffled squealing, and my useless attempts to punch him in the back, and all but tossed me over his right shoulder. He bellowed a laugh as I struggled to get away, but stopped short when an arrow slammed into the concrete next to his boot.

I never thought I’d be so happy to be shot at.

Thanks Sera.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was a long time coming. I'm sorry this update took such a longass time, honestly I've just been super not in the mood to write dragon age stuff? Plus I totally lost the outline and got stuck for a while. But I'm writing a new outline, and playing a lot of skyrim and its put me right back in the mood! So I hope you enjoyed the update ^^
> 
> I'll see you when I see you <3 
> 
> No but seriously follow me on tumblr if you want more writing updates, I post every time I start writing and am super up to answering questions and taking suggestions as well as art prompts!!
> 
> http://masmkasm.tumblr.com/


	20. Socializing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look... this chapter was supposed to be 3k words... shits like 14k alright... I'm exhausted. I considered breaking it up into different chapters, but then I decided that you would all probably LOVE a giant, never ending chapter. Because I mean, I would.

I’d never seen weapons drawn so quickly in my life, Cassandra had a hand on Ben’s chest and the other- somehow- holding her great sword at the ready in front of him. As I was still propped up on his back, Ben couldn’t draw his staff, and instead gripped me tighter, as though he could protect me. Even Varric had Bianca propped up and began scanning the crowd. Solas however, barely glanced at the arrow before squatting down to pluck the note off. 

“People say you’re special. I want to help, and I can bring everyone,” Solas read aloud, pausing at that bit before continuing. “There’s a… “Baddie” in Val Royeaux, I hear he wants to hurt you. Have a search for the red things in the market, the docks and ‘round the cafe, and maybe you’ll meet him first. Bring swords. Signed… Friends of Red Jennies.” He turned the note over, then folded it, and handed it to the Seeker. 

She tucked her sword away to take the note and read it over herself, her mouth moving as she silently studied the words. She did the same thing as Solas, flipping it over before huffing an irritated sigh. What they were looking for on the back of the letter was beyond me, but they both seemed cross that nothing was there.

Ben gently lowered me to the ground, eyes on Cassandra. While I was happy to have both feet on the ground, I was trying to seem stunned by the entire thing, if I hadn’t known that would have happened exactly has it had, I may have seemed scared, or reacted in some way. Not that I wanted to overact, but I certainly needed to seem surprised. Luckily for me, my mouth was still enchanted and wouldn’t speak when I ordered it to. 

“A treasure hunt? Sounds fun.” Ben chuckled, though none of his compatriots seemed to feel the same, other than Varric who gave the hint of a smirk. “Mel,” his posture shifted to make him seem a bit more commanding, hovering over me, I looked up at him with my eyes and not my head. “Go back to the inn, don’t argue with me on this, if there's going to be fighting I don't want you anywhere near it. You’re not ready, and I can’t lose you.”

My heart did a little flutter at that, and I couldn’t help myself, I threw my arms around his neck and pulled him down into a hug, which he immediately returned, lifting me right back up off the ground in his full embrace. He laughed softly into my hair, with a whisper of loving me before slowly lowering me back down. He placed a chaste kiss on my forehead before stepping back. 

“Solas, walk her back so she doesn't get lost again,” He flinched as I punched him in the arm for that. “And warn the guards that she’s feisty.” He added, taking a step back before I could punch him again. Smiling, I looked back to Solas, expecting him to be a bit cross with me for the public displays of affection with someone who wasn’t him, but there was a softness to his face I didn’t recognize for a moment, however when our eyes met I knew it to be adoration. That thing he does, where he can make me blush and want to hide my face just with a look, was that thing he was doing presently. He was done being jealous of how Ben and I showed affection, which was undeniably different than how Solas and I did, now he saw it as how it was, not romantic love, but platonic, friendship love. It was just another part of me, and he loved every part of me. 

And now I was blushing again. 

“Of course Lord Herald, I’ll return after delivering her.” Solas said, extending a hand to me, I stepped into it, instead of taking it, and his palm flattened against the curve of my back. 

“We’ll meet back here after we’ve found these... red things?” Ben said it as a question, and beckoned for Cassandra to give him the note as Solas lead me back down the street towards our inn. 

Solas was quiet, and my lips were still magically sealed, so we walked silently, his hand ever present on the small of my back. Once he was certain we were out of eyesight from the others however, his hand shifted down to my own, his fingers intertwining with mine. It wasn’t the kind of quiet either of us thought we needed to fill, a calm, understanding peace. We were still new to one another, still learning how to be in a relationship, and it seemed neither of us was quite sure of the speed we should be going. So gentle hand holding, with the occasional thumb brushing against my palm, was all I needed right now. 

“You can speak now, if you’d like.” Solas hummed as we turned a corner. “And yes, I’ll eventually teach you that one as well.” 

“Ah good, I was about to ask...” I chuckled my reply, squeezing his hand lightly in mine. My smile faded as I thought of his mission ahead, of Sera. “She’s an elf,” I started. “But she won't be… she won't listen to you Solas, she went through a lot, she has no interest in elven history or magic. Don’t push her.” 

I could almost hear his frown, I knew how much it pained him that one of the people wouldn’t listen to him, how much he desperately wanted Sera to understand and know, but she never would, it was a part of her. She was more human than elf. The inn came into view and his hand slid from mine, like a knife twisting in my heart to remind me that he didn’t want them to know yet. Even the guards couldn’t know, gossips that they were. Probably. 

“You can’t tell him Melana.” Solas huffed. 

“Tell who what?” 

“The Herald. He can’t know where you’re from, you have to be comfortable lying to him.” 

My pace slowed, until I came to a dead stop. I hadn’t even thought about it. I’d been lying to him the whole time, but before, when he was just the soon-to-be Inquisitor, and not Ben- my Ben who fussed over me like a scared mama bear and confessed his innermost thoughts to me… it had been easy. This? This wasn’t going to be easy. This was going to be manipulation, pushing Ben in every right direction, avoiding Leliana and her questions, fuck me- when Bull got here it was going to be nigh impossible to keep anything from him. My eyes darted across Solas’ face as he turned, his expression matching my own. We had to lie constantly, to everyone. 

“I won’t tell him.” I finally said, my voice shaking. “I’m not going to be good at it, and I’m not going to like it, but for as long as you need me to, I’ll lie to him. Solas,” I stepped forward, arms tight at my sides. “I want this to work. Not just the plan, not just stopping the end of the world, I want us to work.” 

He swallowed, nodding in agreement but refusing to meet my gaze. 

“Ar lath, ma’vhenan.” I said it as a whisper, but it sounded like a scream between us, and he returned it eagerly, as though he’d been waiting for me to say it first.  _ I love you, _ in Elven it seemed to mean so much more, as though it resonated within our souls. He brought my hand up to his lips and kissed my fingers softly, his eyes sliding closed. “I can walk the rest of the way, go back to them.” I said through a tight smile. 

“Please don’t run off, just… stay here, heal your chin, I’ll soon return.” Solas said as my hand slid from his mouth to his cheek, pulling him down into a gentle kiss. He inhaled as his arm wrapped around my waist to deepen the kiss, something I didn’t think he’d do right in front of the Inn, in public, outside. But he did, holding me there for another beat of time before slipping away, out of my reach, and heading back to where we’d left the group. 

 

I made my way back to the stables, where our armed guard were still packing up the cart, we’d not been gone very long at all apparently, they’d barely made progress. That or they’d been slacking. I passed the cart and instead went to the horses, quickly finding my hart, which I’d grown rather attached to at this point. And started telling her about my morning, she nuzzled against my hand as I pressed it to her nose, sniffing for any possible snacks, but lost interest when she realized I was fresh out of goodies. 

I sat on a stool next to her, pulling my staff out from around my back. I don’t know why but being in her presence made me feel safer. That and I was tucked into such a tall stall, no one would be able to see me. I held the staff in one hand, and for the first time in a while, Guardian swirled with excitement. I hadn’t used magic in a few days, and hadn’t really been in much danger, so he’d probably been rather bored. He traveled down my arm to wrap around the staff and my wrist, linking me to it. A wave of power crashed down into me, and my lungs grew tight, I tried to drop the staff but Guard held me tight to it. It was anger and rage, but my minty mana was still there, mixed in. 

_ This is us, not you, not me, us. We are stronger together than apart.  _ Guardian’s voice rang in my head, almost too loud, too clear in comparison to his usual barely there voice. 

“Fuck, okay, can you- it's too much right now, I can’t even breath Guard, turn it down.” I choked out, my arm shaking, my entire body pulsating with energy. Guardian listened, as he is known to do, rolling away from the staff, which clattered to the ground as my grip released it. I inhaled deep, coughing as the energy peeled back, though a thin tether of power kept me linked to the staff. 

_ I thought you were ready. Forgive me.  _ He said, his voice now strained as we disconnected our magic. 

“It’s fine, we just uh… need to practice that more. We’re both very new at being what we are.” I sighed, leaning down and scooping my staff back up. “Just- seriously, more of a warning next time dude.” 

_ I was over excited it seems, but you are mistaken, I have made many bonds in the past.  _ He basically huffed it, as though I’d insulted him. I leaned back with my staff now in hand, and began casting a simple healing spell on my chin, which had crusted over by this point. 

“You have?” I hummed, enjoying the tingle of magic against my skin, not really caring too much about his backstory. 

_ Long ago it was common that a spirit of my persuasion would form a bond with a powerful mage, I myself bonded with several great elves before the fall…  _ His voice trailed off, his wooden form shifting uncomfortably against me before he spoke again.  _ The man you have taken to bed is not unlike the last I bonded with, strong willed, immense power… a good mate.  _

I sputtered a cough, almost dropping my staff again. 

_ I would prefer if you removed me from your physical form the next time you took him to your bed, I do not find the activity pleasurable, mostly it’s just uncomfortable.  _ I tried to contain not only my laughter, but my embarrassment as he spoke, I’d completely forgotten about him last night, and I mean who wouldn't! I was a little busy!

“Yes! Okay, I’m sorry, please just stop talking about it.” I whispered harshly to the ornament on my arm who seemed rather pleased with himself. 

_ I just thought I would inform you that I can be removed, and point out perhaps your mate was a bit quick in finishing- _

“AAHH- That’s enough! Shut up!” I screeched, smacking at my arm in the hopes of silencing him. My Hart turned her head to stare at me curiously as I struggled to stop blushing. Okay next time I was definitely taking him off, I didn’t want another conversation like that EVER again. My hand slid off his form to hang lamely at my side as I thought about what he’d said. Had Solas finished quickly? Sure, but so had I. My cheeks burned red as I started back up on healing, my mind flying through our night. 

I didn’t blame him for finishing quickly, it wasn’t that upsetting, I mean I hadn’t had sex in over three years, who knows how long it had been for him. I quickly wrapped up the healing process, and instead of mulling over my sex life, started brushing down my mount who was more than pleased about it. I needed to get my mind off of all that nonsense, I didn’t want to think about it, not when I had other things I could be doing. 

I spent a good hour just brushing her down fully, braiding her mane and tail, and cleaning her saddle before I’d run out of things to do in the stall and found myself wandering over to the cart. 

The Templars were nowhere to be seen, but the two guards were lounging by the back of the cart, chatting about something or other. I hadn’t paid too much attention to them, but they were dressed in standard scout outfits, inquisition pins stuck to their tunics, faces barely visible under their hoods… rather background-ish characters. They jumped to attention as I approached, their friendly conversation freezing to salute me. 

“Carts loaded up Ser,” One said, stepping to the side to let me see, the other following suit. The cart was indeed loaded, packed full with items that we’d bought while here, along with our tents and sleeping bags, all our food for the trip home... There were boxes I didn’t recognize, stamped with a seal I didn’t know, shoved far off to the side, barely visible. 

“What are those?” I asked, pointing to said boxes. One of the guards stepped forward, following my gaze to the unfamiliar boxes. 

“Armor delivery from this morning,” He said before moving back to the side. “Uh- ma’am?” 

“Yes?” I sighed, turning towards him, he flinched at my response, as though I’d slapped him. I hadn’t meant to be rude, it just came out that way. It was weird, going from being one of the faces in the crowd, to, well, the boss of the crowd. 

“I just wanted to say… thank you, for the other day. Arrow knocked me flat out but you were there in a flash.” He said, a nervous smile on his face, his eyes never quite meeting mine. Oh, this was the guy who got shot on the way to Orlais, I’d meant to learn his name at some point, but he’d blended back into the background, as side characters are known to do. 

“Oh, of course, I mean, it's my job, I’m happy to help.” I replied with a smile, “I never did catch your name.” 

“Terrence, ma’am.” He chirped, grinning ear to ear at my response. I turned fully towards him and put a hand to his chest, extending my aura into it. He flinched at the touch, but didn’t pull away. 

“Well Terrence the damage was entirely artificial, you’re completely fine.” I reported, patting his chestplate lightly. He let out a sigh at that, as though I’d lifted a weight from his shoulders. I shifted back to the cart and motioned to the crates. “Can I get a looksee at the new armor? There was supposed to be one for me.” 

Without hesitation the guards both climbed up inside and started digging through the crates, unsure which was mine, since they weren’t properly labeled, they ended up unloading all of them. There were six boxes in total, and one was far heavier than the others, which I pushed aside, assuming it was for Cassandra. No one else wore heavy plate. Terrence knelt down with a crowbar and popped open the first crate. 

I dug around in the box, green fabric, a soft to the touch pelt, fennec or wolf maybe, and a silverite chestplate with a strange elven rune on it. Solas’ new armor. I pushed the crate aside and the second guard, whose name I didn’t know, hammered the lid back on as Terrence opened the next one. 

“They should really label these. Oh!” I jumped to my feet at the sudden thought and rushed back into the cart, digging around until I found my pack. I rummaged inside until I found my pen, strapped to my notebook. Leaving the book, I took the pen out and in large letters, wrote “SOLAS” on the crate with his armor in it, then did the same for Cassandra’s. “There we go,” 

I squatted down onto my knees to look through the next crate, which Terrence had already opened. The fabric was similar to the first one, but there was a set of boots, a cloak, and a pair of dark brown leather pants. I wasn't entirely sure who this one was for, the cut seemed like it was for me, surely, but this hadn’t been what I’d spoken to the armorer about at all. Had Ben changed the order?

I dug further inside and found some kind of… skirt? It took up about half of the crate due to it's poofy under fluff, and had silverite plate chain that lay over the top of it. Safe to say this was my crate, I couldn’t see Ben in this. Well I could, but maybe in a private setting. Or fighting Darkspawn, now that would be a show. 

I grabbed the lid and started to write my name on it, almost writing my previous name and not the name I’d given myself. I hadn’t had any problem adjusting, going from Madison to Melana, in fact this was the first instance where I’d even really noticed since Solas had asked. Brushing that thought off I finished scribbling my name in, and quickly figured out which of the crates was Varric’s and Ben’s, and properly labeling them. I didn’t know who the other two crates were for, so I didn’t even attempt to open them. I had Terrence assist me in putting the five crates back, but kept mine out.

“I’m going to go change into it,” I announced, grabbing either side of the box. “Since our rooms are already locked up I’ll do it in the stall, keep an eye out for me?” I asked Terrence with a wink, gaining a full faced blush and a hurried nod as my reward. 

I made my way back to the stall to change, which took some doing in all honesty, the changing. First of all I’d never put on plate before, and all the little straps and buckles were… difficult to reach, to say the least. I tried to get the skirt on for a while but just… couldn’t, alright, lets say I couldn’t. So I put the pants on, and the boots, though I didn’t have any socks so I ended up just leaving the leggings on under the boots which was uncomfortable. I was already hatching a plan to steal Ben’s socks by the time I’d gotten the second boot on. Secondly, there was some kind of, arm, shoulder, thing? I don’t know, it was silverite, and was supposed to sit on my shoulders, I assume, but for the life of me I could not get that shit on. Half an hour later, and I was finally wearing my new outfit, and I was exhausted. I wasn’t doing that without help next time. 

I fumbled out of the stall, my old clothes tucked in the crate in hand, with my chest plate clinking and clunking with every step. It really pulled everything in. Like spanks for my breasts, only metal. I imagined it wasn’t exactly healthy to keep the chestplate on for very long, seeing as it put me down a whole bra size, not that I was complaining, it was nice to actually see my feet for once. Other than that it fit rather nicely, nothing too tight or too loose, as to be expected seeing as I was fitted for it.

Terrence was standing directly next to the stall, stiff as a board, staring forward even as I came out. I almost laughed at his literal take on my command, actually keeping guard outside where I’d changed. I walked past him, heading back over to the cart when I saw someone talking to our other guard, someone dressed in fine silks and wearing a overly dramatic white mask. I placed my crate of old clothes on top of driver's seat of the cart, not slowing my stroll I made my way to the guard and whoever she was talking to. 

“Look just deliver this to the Herald when he returns,” The person said, almost irritatedly. 

“I’m telling you I can’t, if you want to give it to him then wait until-” Her voice was cut off by the sound of my new clinking armor as I walked up next to her. Her body went stiff as she saluted me, stepping to the background once again.

“I can take that,” I said with my hand outstretched for the parchment he had been trying to shove at the guard. The man gave me a long look up and down, a visible sneer on his face even with the mask on. “I assure you the Herald will receive it as soon as he returns from his venture.” 

“... Why can you take it but not your companion there?” The man asked, pulling the parchment against his chest with a flurry of his wrist. “Might I ask what makes the… lady more qualified?” 

Oh for fucks sake, was every person in Orlais going to ask me about my fucking job description every time I talked to them? 

“I don’t see why you feel the need to ask such a question, when you’ve just seen an Inquisition Soldier not only leave upon my arrival, but salute me as she did so. Would this not be proof enough of my high stature in the inner workings of the inquisition? Or does the… Gentleman? Need more to show my worth? Perhaps a pin, or a long, ridiculous title?” I snapped, and before he could respond I added, “Because unfortunately at this time I have neither of those, seeing as the Herald of Andraste has only recently hired me on as his head advisor, and has not had the time nor the want to give me such an austere title. Though I imagine after this trip I will be given such a thing.” 

He reeled back at that, his scowl deepening under his mask, but concealed just enough to make it look like maybe he was smiling. He bowed deep and offered his most sincere apologies. 

“My Lady,” He started and I grimaced at the formalities. “I had not known your position but upon you explaining it to me I fully understand, there had been ample rumors that the Herald had taken such a woman upon himself-” Excuse me? “-But I had no idea you were the woman of whom people have spoken, I should have known just by the exquisite way you carry yourself, I must inquire who does your hair. My mistress would shame me if I weren’t to ask.” His head tilted up, waiting for a response as he was still in a deep bow. I chose to ignore the way he phrased his sentence, making it sound like I was Ben’s mistress.

My hair, which was still braided from this morning, had been done by Solas. I hadn’t really even looked at it, so I couldn’t tell if he was making a dig at me, or being sincere. For all I knew I looked gorgeous. I wasn’t going to tell him that though. Can you imagine? “Why yes my hair was done by the Inquisitions foremost fade expert, he’s quite good isn’t he?”

“I braided my own hair this morning, knowing we would be traveling, I wanted it up.” I supplied another simple lie, before quickly continuing, “But my hair isn’t why you’re here. The missive, if you please.”

His grip tightened on the note, a momentary glare, as though he was still sizing me up. I heard the crunch of an apple behind me and knew the guards were just fucking loving this. He stood, again with far too much bravado, and much to my dismay, started talking again.

“An invitation,” He waved the letter in front of me. “For the Herald of Andraste to attend a party this very evening, of one First Enchanter Vivienne, I’m sure you’ve heard of her, alas it does not include a plus one. Though I imagine my mistress would not be upset at your appearance, quite the opposite in fact, had she known that an advisor of the Inquisition was also in our beautiful city, she would have sent the invitation to you directly!” 

Alright at this point I was positively sick of this character's voice. I wish I could just hit B and walk away. I snatched the letter from his hand, a plastic smile on my face to hide my irritation. 

“I’ll be sure to put this directly into his hands, and hope indeed that I will see you there tonight, it would be nothing but a pleasure.” I’d meant it to sound kind, but in fact it came out through gritted teeth that I imagine looked as painful as it felt. 

A few more pleasantries later and he was finally leaving, just as the sun began to set. I let out a long, exhausted, sigh of relief upon his departure. Orlesians. Seriously. Every interaction I’d had in this damn city- save one Percival who was in fact Fereldan- had been fucking terrible. I turned back to the two guards who were sitting on the the cart, both munching away at apples with shit eating grins on their faces, as if to say “we’re so glad we didn’t have to do that but you did”. Ass hats. 

“Toss me one of those?” I asked, holding a hand up just in time as a red apple flew into my palm. I tucked the invitation into my belt and took a rather large bite out of the apple. It was sweeter than I’d expected, but just the right amount of crunchy. 

“Will you be needing a fancy dress then ser?” The female guard asked. I nodded my head without really thinking about anything other than the apple between my teeth. “I know a good store near the Alienage, our mamae used to work there when we was small, Terrence and I can take you by, give you an escort of sorts. If you like ser.”

I only nodded again, taking a second bite out of my apple. 

“Maybe then people’ll respect you more see, if you got a fancy escort and all. Not to mention those new clothes the Herald bought you make you look awful important. Don’t know why that messenger questioned you at all really.” She continued, already standing up to leave. I guess we’d have to be fast to pick out not only fancy dress for me, but for Benjamin as well. The party was tonight after all. Terrence jumped down from the cart and rushed inside, returning a few minutes later with the two templars that had been in our party. They seemed agitated that they had to watch the stuff, but when I tossed my apple core to one of them and winked, they just seemed down right pissed off. The three of us left the two of them fuming. 

 

Walking with two guards certainly made people notice you more, I figured that out right away, not to mention they were inquisition guards, which were a big deal right now. Terrence walked behind me, and the other, Lista, she told me was her name, walked in front, guiding me deeper into the depths of Val Royeaux. I was glad to have her actually, other than for the armed guard part obviously, she was a good tour guide. She pointed out landmarks, theatre buildings, famous stores or bistros, though I doubt I’d remember any of it later on. She talked with a fereldan accent, though had told me she was brought up in Orlais, with her brother Terrence, honestly she got a little too personal. 

“See I’m full blooded, a knife ear like yourself, but Terrence here? His daddy was human as they come, mamae wouldn’t tell us who, course that makes us think the worst see, chevaliers here are known for takin’ elfs down the rough and tumble now and again. I had my fair share of scraps with em.” She chattered on and I sent a glance back to Terrence who made a face of dismay the more his sister talked.

“Mamae did her best though, got us out of Orlais just after Terrence was born, lost her accent, and mine mind you, raised us on a nice farm. Once inquisition started we joined right up, knew they’d take care of her, and that they did, protectin’ her from demons and all, hell even took care of the wolves around her stead.” She just seemed to keep… talking… I wondered if all armed escorts were these chatty. I didn’t hate it of course, talking kept us moving, made time go faster, but she could save it for when I wasn’t in one of the most beautiful cities in all of Thedas. 

We turned another corner just as she started describing Terrence’s pet horse, and she stopped dead in her tracks, her body going stiff and her fist flying up into the classic Inquisition salute. I didn’t see her stop in time so I ended up smacking right into her back, though she stood strong, not even flinching when I hit her. 

“Lista, what in the,” I stepped past her and saw the reason she’d froze, and why Terrence was now in the same position behind me. 

“Mel!” Ben called, a few meters off, covered with dried blood, and already running towards me at a full sprint. Behind him was Cassandra, equally caked in mess, and Varric who was much less dirty. I hadn’t spotted Solas or Sera before Ben was upon me, running right past Lista to mush my cheeks together in some sort of affectionate not hug. “I’d hug you but your new clothes would get all dirty. You look good! I picked well, green really suits you.” 

I smacked his hands away but could tell I was already smiling, he was such a beam of sunshine, how could you do anything but smile in his presence.

“So it went well I assume?” I chuckled, motioning to his blood splattered armor. 

“Oh! Yes!” He looked down at himself before spinning around. “You’ve got to meet Sera, Sera!” He called out and almost out of thin air, she appeared. Yup that was her, short cropped blonde hair, freckles and big pillowy lips pulled into a smirk. She was… cuter than I remembered, but that could be said for every member of the Inquisition I’d met so far. Except Cullen, he’d looked more tired than the game let on. Solas was at her side, and I saw the irritated grimace on his face, which was directed at Sera, and knew he’d tried to “talk” to her and found exactly what I’d said was true. 

Sera practically bounded up to me, stopping just next to Ben to size me up. She was taller than me, which wasn’t surprising, most people here were, but she was as thin as a twig. I expected more muscle mass at least, but as far as I could tell she was just a scrawny, too tall, elf. 

“So you’re Mel then? Herald here wouldn’t shut it ‘bout you.” She squinted down at me. “Don’t look like much, though… yeah, you’re an elf, hope you’re not too elfy like bald stuff over there.” 

“Aaah-” Ben started some kind of exhale that would soon turn into a laugh, but I kicked him in the shin. 

“Yeah thats me, Mel, and you’re Sera? Good to meet you, and have you on board. I’m sure we’ll get along fine.” I said with the kindest smile I could put on, she turned her head, like a curious dog, before extending her hand. I took it and we shook, her grip tight on mine, her handshake a little too enthusiastic. I really wasn’t sure how this was going to go with her, she and Vivienne were the two characters I had no idea how I would actually mix with. Her hand pulled from mine. 

“Whatchya doin out here though? Aren’t we headed back to Haven or whatsit?” Sera asked, facing the question towards Ben now. Ben just shrugged, eyeing me. 

There was a long pause of silence, where I didn’t realize I was the one with the answers, before Lista cleared her throat. The three of us turned and looked at her, she nodded her head toward the letter still looped in my belt. 

“Huh?” I glanced down at it. “Oh! Oh shit, fuck, yeah, crap I’m sorry,” Sera snorted at my profanity. “Yes, Madame De Fer has invited you to a party tonight, and her courier extended the invitation to me, and I was going to go get us outfits for tonight, so we didn’t look like dorks.” 

Solas moved from the back of the crowd now, clearly irritated that he was being left out of the conversation, and moved to stand next to me, but Sera jumped in his place, tossing an arm around my shoulder. He seemed visibly shaken by the action, pausing for a moment before tightening his jaw and standing next to Ben, his arms behind his back. Fuck I was getting a verbal lashing tonight. 

“Lets see it then,” Sera chirped, her free hand already going for the letter. She snatched it before I could stop her, bringing it up to her face to examine the parchment. 

“Ah- I believe that its mine,” Ben said, grabbing it from her before she could open it. She sulked but didn’t get off me, as Ben tore the seal off and unfolded it. He spent a moment reading it silently in his head before nodding. 

“Well, thank you, Terrence, Lista, for escorting Melana this far. Why don’t you two take the rest of the inner circle back to the inn, Melana and I will go on ahead and make our purchases. I still intend to leave tonight, I want you to ensure that we’re ready to go once we return. I imagine this won't take very long at all.” Ben sighed most of his words, tucking the now unfolded letter into his own belt and addressing my escort. I saw Solas bristle at the idea of me going off alone with Ben, and it seemed he was about to voice his discomfort when Sera started talking instead.

“So we’re not runnin off yet? Good, gives me time to get my things all settled. I’ll meet you lot back at yer inn yeah?” Sera pulled her arm off from around my shoulder finally, and without any response from the group, started walking off. Solas immediately took her place next to me, though his arms were still tight behind his back. 

“I don’t know how wise it is to allow Melana to go to this party, she is untrained in the way of conversation moreso than in magic. She could easily say the wrong thing and set the guests off.” Solas said it in a sort of calm voice but it sounded almost snippy, and I wondered what his real issue with me going was, I’d handled orlesians the entire time we’d been here, better than he had in most cases. 

Ben seemed to think on it a moment, rubbing his beard between his forefinger and thumb while staring at the ground. 

“I think some time away from you won't kill her Solas,” Ben chuckled, putting a firm hand to Solas’ shoulder. Solas raised an eyebrow but didn’t respond, and Ben continued. “It would be rude to not bring her now that Lady Viviennes’s courier has invited her, and has no doubt informed his mistress that he’s extended the invitation to her as well. No, she’s coming with me Solas, I’ll have no argument on it.”

Solas inhaled next to me and I felt rather awkward, Ben giving Solas orders was almost surreal, and you could tell Solas wasn’t happy with it, but there was nothing much he could do. 

“Very well, I can tell you’ve made your mind up.” He turned to me. “I will see you tonight, after your party. I imagine we will be leading the caravan once again, seeing as it will no doubt be dark when we depart. I’ll take it upon myself to ready your hart…” He glanced to the group, who had all but disappeared without him, then back to Ben, eyeing him for a moment before grabbing me at the waist and pulling me against him for a rough kiss. My eyes popped open, before I could even react he was stepping back, his hand still tight on my hip. 

“I expect her to be returned to me unharmed Benjamin,” Solas snapped. “And for you to keep this between us for now… please.” He added the last bit rather reluctantly, but as Ben nodded, trying to hide the growing smile on his face, Solas turned back to me. 

“Do not agitate anyone Vhenan, please.” This please sounded much more sincere than the last, and I grinned, nodding. I loved it when he called me Vhenan, it was like a drug, making me tingle all over from my toes to my nose.

“I won't do it on purpose,” I replied, “Now go, Ben and I have shopping to do and I doubt you know the city very well, catch up to the group.” He pulled away from me reluctantly, his eyes flitting between my stare and my lips, as though he was still debating if he could convince me not to go… but eventually he turned to leave.

Ben and I stood side by side watching Solas go, he glanced back occasionally to make sure I was still there, but eventually he turned a corner and moved out of sight. I exhaled a long breath, my heart beating like a rapid drum, I bent over and groaned, hands on my knees. 

“So ‘Vhenan’ huh? I’ve been told thats uh, kind of a big deal.” Ben chuckled, his smile finally breaking, his laughter taking over his words until he was buckling over, shouting, “I knew it! I fucking knew- Mel- seriously, I knew it, fucking Andraste’s tits I knew it. Oh fuck,” He laughed breathily as I kicked him in the leg again and again. 

“Shut up! We’ve got things to do, knock it off you damn dummy,” I grabbed him by the arm and started pulling him towards the store, which we’d stopped only a few houses down from, but immediately pulled my hands away. “Oh gross, Ben, you’re covered in blood.”

“Ah,” he sniffed as he stood up. “Yes, that might be an issue… Well let's get this over with, you can tell me all about your new romance while we shop.” 

The two of us made our way over to the store, which was rather lovely in itself, a large gold and blue building, with a sign out front that I didn’t care to read, but Ben spent a good five minutes trying to sound it out. In the windows were several lovely dresses, and a few fine tailored suits, all with matching masks. A warm light came from inside, and a sign was hanging from the door with the word “Open” written in common. 

“Ladies first,” Ben chuckled, allowing me to pass in front of him. I rolled my eyes and pushed the door open, and the small tingle of a bell sang out as I did. 

The girl sitting behind the counter was an elf, who looked up indifferently, but once she saw my face her own lit up in a smile. 

“Bonjour Madame! Welcome to Arlathian Couture, your one stop shop for Elven dress!” She moved from behind the counter as she spoke, “What can I help you with today?”

The inside of the store was even more golden, though the walls were lined with paintings of some elven scene or another, you could see the smooth white walls underneath them. Dresses and robes of different colors and cuts hung from models around the room, and to my surprise, there wasn’t anyone else inside. The bell rang again as Ben closed the door behind him. Her eyes went from me to him and her smile faltered a moment, but she forced it back on. 

“Oh, uh, we were hoping to find a dress for me, and something for him, for a party tonight.” I replied, looking around the room at all of the dresses. “I guess we should get masks too, what do you think Ben?” 

“I don’t really like masks but even if we don’t wear them tonight we might need them in the future…” Ben sighed, walking over to one of the dresses and running his fingers over the fabric. “Get what you like Mel, I’m sure the Inquisition can afford you getting a few pretty things.” 

“Don’t mind him,” I said, turning my attention back to the girl, who was wringing her hands together nervously. “Uhm, something simple, I guess, for me. Green appears to be my color,” 

“Oh unfortunately green isn’t exactly in this season, seeing as we’re moving closer to winter now, it's gold and white, which, if you’re trying to impress, is the way to go. Oh and something to match then, for your… compatriot?” She was already walking into a back storeroom, and her voice trailed off as she did. I looked to Ben and he gave me a sort of nod. 

“Something like that then, sure.” I replied, making my way over to the desk to lean on it. There were a few flyers on her desk, a ledger, and a glass of water, but nothing out of the ordinary. I looked behind me to see Ben touching another dress, staring at the fabric, and was about to ask him what in the hell he was doing, when the woman reappeared carrying a stack of dresses and robes. She dropped them on the counter and started flipping through them.

“We have a few matching outfits, nothing too extreme of course, maybe something with a leaf pattern… Oh I have just the thing!” She lifted a few dresses up and moved them to the side to reveal one of the bottom gowns, and I gasped in awe at it. A white corset lined with golden leaves, swirling in runic shape, with golden trimming, hints of green here and there, small gems laid in the fabric to make it shine... The skirt was silky, and long, it looked like it would hang just above my ankles, with a slit up the left side about to the knee, there were sleeves, billowy and long, but they looked like they would rest on your arms and not your shoulders, and hang down. 

“The men’s suit for this is actually hanging in the window there, it's a tunic with an overcoat, a pair of rather fine boots, and some pants of course, in case someone wants to flip your tunic up.” She said with a chuckle. Ben was already crossing the room to look at the mens outfit, though he seemed sad to part with the fine dress he’d been touching. 

“They’re perfect,” He said, his hand now running over the back of the coat. “We’ll take them both, if you don’t mind is there somewhere here we can change? We are in a rush.” 

“Of course,” She chirped, “I can even have my brother run your belongings to your residence if you like, free of charge.” 

“That would be lovely,” I answered, my eyes still locked on the gown under my hand. I’d never owned something so beautiful, so elegant. 

She summoned her brother, who waited until we’d stripped in her changing room in the back, before taking our clothes and heading out. I was sad to see my armor already off me, I’d only just gotten it on and already I was struggling to get out. The dress didn’t fight me nearly as much, it wasn’t cut specifically for me, so it wasn’t exactly easy to get on, but eventually I got it laced up and on, with her help. She provided me with a pair of foot wraps the same bright gold as the dress when she saw I only had the lighter green ones under my boots. Those were not free of charge, though Ben did tell me to get what I wanted. 

I spun around in my new dress, the slit allowing it to kick up as I did, twirling around me. The bodice was a bit tight, but I would be fine for a few hours, and I’m sure the men would enjoy the show of my bursting top. I stepped out of the changing room to find Ben facing away, talking to the elf woman. 

I cleared my throat and Ben turned to face me, he looked gorgeous in his robes, a little out of place seeing as he was a human with a big beard, but still. The white jacket was longer than I’d expected, hanging around his knees, with golden buckles and trimming just like my dress. His mask was not unlike ones I’d seen in game, golden and covering his eyes and nose, though the others had all been tucked under a hat of some kind, his was tied back with white and gold straps. His outfit in general fit him rather snugly, accentuating his muscles and making him look bigger than he actually was, but still, he looked amazing. 

From the look on his face, I also looked amazing. 

“Is it okay?” I asked, doing a quick spin to show off the whole dress.

“Mel, I know why Solas didn’t want you to come with.” Ben said, taking a step towards me. 

“Because my Vhenan is a jealous old man who can’t stand the thought of anyone else seeing me in a dress like this?” I practically sang my response, doing another quick spin a I did. 

“Exactly,” He chuckled, closing the space between us in a few long strides, he held something in his hands, and extended it to me as he approached. I took the white and gold mask between my fingers and pulled it up onto my face. Ben reached over my shoulder and grabbed the tie holding my left braid in place, sliding it off, then the right, allowing my hair loose, cascading, perfect ringlets fell around my bare shoulders, brushing the middle of my back, and hanging around my cheeks. He cupped my face in his hands, brushing back a lock. “Fuck he would be so jealous right now.”

“If I may,” The woman chimed in, stepping forward, “You companion has purchased these for you,” She held out a small box as Ben stepped to the side. I eyed him curiously, worried this would be some gross gag gift because of Solas kissing me earlier, but when I opened it, I wasn’t actually sure  _ what  _ it was. The saleswoman seemed to notice my confusion, and pulled back a lock of her own hair to reveal a similar ornament on her own pointed ear.

“An ear cuff?” I squeaked, excited.

“Indeed, we had a few in your eat cut, I may have taken some semblance of a measurement while strapping your dress up. May I?” She asked, pulling one from the box that now rested in my own hands, I nodded my approval and she took another step closer to me, brushing back my hair. A few seconds later the cold gold clamped down on the tip of my ear, it wasn’t painful, just snug. I imagined it would irritate me after some time, but for now, I didn’t mind it. 

“There we are,” She said, as she finished putting on the second one. “Don’t sleep in them, try to avoid getting them too hot, I had a customer melt them on permanently once and let’s just say it didn’t work out.”

I spun around to face Ben and he gave me a hearty smile and a few quick nods of his head. He extended his hand to me and I took it, twirling into his embrace. He turned us to face the mirror and we looked… very bright. My hair went almost perfectly with all the gold, whereas Ben seemed to stand out, making us appear to be a very odd pair, though no one would question that we were beautiful. We were going to kill it at this party.  
  


 

The party in question was at Vivienne’s mansion, in the rich part of town, well… richer. The evening lights came on like magic as I assume they did every night, basking us in a warm yellow light as we made our way to the carriage Ben had summoned. The cobblestone was cold against the pads of my bare feet, but Ben was sitting comfy with a pair of gold boots that made a click sound with every step. People eyed us on the street, quiet gasps and guffaws as we strolled, my arm hanging on Ben’s as he told me some dumb joke about Mabari’s and I smiled a quiet laugh. 

“We probably look rather scandalous,” I whispered to him at one point. He nodded his agreement as we rounded the corner, where our carriage was waiting. Apparently you can’t summon them too close to the Alienage, which is terrible. It was a standard ride, he’d told me, and it looked it. Nothing too fancy, simple four wheels, a horse driving it, it wasn’t even a closed carriage, which apparently they didn’t have a lot of in the city gates. It was like a taxi service. Only you had to send someone to fetch it for you. 

“I’d rather they gossiped about a beautiful girl being on my arm than the usual stuff they say about me.” He sighed, “Some people still think I was the one who killed the Most Holy.” 

“Aww you think I’m beautiful?” I squeaked and he only scoffed, letting go of my arm to go address the coach driver. I stood by the side of the cart, watching the people walking by, who were all… staring. At me. Alright that wasn’t uncomfortable. I made eye contact with one too many people who all sneered down their masks at me and I quickly hid away. I looked way too elfy, Sera would most assuredly disapprove. 

But what would Solas think? He’d most likely see me in it when I got back. We were supposed to start riding tonight. This, the party, was just a formal and polite way of saying hello. We wouldn’t be staying long. Maybe one dance, a few drinks, a rude encounter with an ass of an orlesian, and then we’re home free. Home, now that would be nice, being home in Haven. Even if it was just for a few days before we left for The Storm Coast, if I was indeed still doing that. We’d talked about it briefly but maybe I was just being selfish… I would need to decide if I was going, and soon. 

“You know I was thinking,” Ben started as he reappeared at my side. “Since you’re going to be our main healer, maybe Solas should start studying a different school of magic,” He extended his hand for mine, stepping into the carriage. 

“Oh don’t tell him that,” I snorted, “ he’d probably get pretty snippy with you. Besides, I’m not going to be with you all the time. And Solas knows multiple schools anyway.” I took his hand and followed him in. The carriage shifted under our weight, and creaked as we sat down next to each other. It was a rather cozy setting, and the chill in the Orlesian air was already turning my nose pink. Odd how it had been summer in my world, but here we were already heading into winter. 

“Yes I’m sure you’d get more of an earful that me though,” Ben chuckled, “We haven’t talked about uhm, you know.”

“Oh that Solas kissed me?” I stretched my feet out in front of me, wiggling my toes as though that would shake out my nerves. “Yes well, I told you we made up.”

“Yes but, made up, and made OUT are two different things entirely.” He elbowed me in the side as if to further punctuate his point. 

“Alright, alright, yes… he, we… uh... “ I stuttered, struggling to find the proper explanation. I lowered my bright red face into my hands, giggling into them as the carriage started to go. The already cold air grew a degree colder as a soft breeze kicked up. I took a deep breath and sat up. “Okay, we made up the first day we got here, I told him how I felt and he told me and we- well we kissed. Clearly.”

“Uh huh…” Ben urged me on with another elbow.

“Okay, okay, asshat… Last night he came into my room to talk and we did, well, more than talking. It was, good, he was good, too good actually, like super really good.” My face was back in my hands as I once again couldn’t find the proper words to describe how wonderful Solas had felt last night. Ben, the idiot, was smiling wide, with his elbow putting a permanent bruise in my side. 

“You two had- Melana! You’ve been holding out on me! I can’t believe how fast you two-"

“Yes!” I cut him off, “Yes I am aware at how quickly we did that thing we did!” I sank in my seat, still covering my face. “Look it had been a long dry spell, like, really long. And then this fucking god of a man comes into your room after your bath… you don’t not suck his dick.” 

A squeal escaped Ben, a literal squeal, like a little girls squeal, as he grabbed my arm to expose my face, which he was ridiculously close to. 

“He’s hung isn’t he! We’ve taken baths together on the road and every time he stripped it was just confusing! It's ridiculous!” He was practically yelling and I was desperately trying to cover his mouth and shush him, but the damage was already done, our cab driver was laughing under his breath now. Great, more weird rumors. 

“Okay, as much as I love talking about this, can we just not?” I pleaded, and after a significant amount of extra begging, Ben agreed to stop talking about it for now, and instead the subject shifted to Madame De Fer. Ben didn’t know much about her, other than her being a powerful Circle Mage, and I told him I didn’t know anything other than her name, First Enchanter Vivienne. I told him I’d never seen her while I’d lived in Orlais, and hadn’t visited any of the circles, so I knew little about her. 

The streets got busier as we got closer to her mansion, which you could see even in the distance. I didn’t remember what it looked like from the game at all, but I knew they never showed how many people were really there. The gates were packed, and you could hear the music from the street, not to mention the people on the streets trying to get in. So when our carriage rolled up, it was like the seas parted, everyone moved to make way for the new guests entering her party. 

Ben stepped out first, turning to help me down the small steps. I took his hand, holding the edge of my skirt in the other as I descended from the carriage. The crowd hushed as we made our way through, my arm laced in his again, my feet bare, my hair picking up in the wind behind me. Soft whispers started to buzz through the mass of people as they began to realize who Ben was, it wasn’t hard, he still had his staff on his back, as did I, not mention he was just, rather, recognizable. 

“Everyones staring at you,” he whispered down to me, quiet enough so only I could hear, I didn’t respond, knowing it wasn’t true, how could they even look twice at me when the Herald of Andraste was on my arm. The soon to be inquisitor. It was rather exhilarating to be around him, at the center of attention. 

_ It can also be illuminating, watch yourself _ Guardian, who had been quiet for some time muttered up at me. I shot a glance to the swirled bracelet hanging from my wrist to Ben, who was smiling ahead, as though he hadn’t heard the deafening voice in his head as I had. I swallowed, and allowed myself to be guided inside.   
  


It was just as decadent on the inside as it was out, a small welcoming area greeted us as soon as we entered, and the courier from before was waiting to take our coats and invitation. Ben gave him the latter, but insisted we wouldn’t be staying long so their was no need for him to take his coat. Reluctantly, the man let us inside, with a snide look to me as an added bonus. Though I did notice when we walked in he seemed rather stunned at my changed appearance. Amazing what a new mask and dress will do for a girl. 

Past that was a short hallway leading to a fountain with stairs on either side, I recognized that from the game, though it was bigger than I remembered, which seemed to the be the theme. The room was filled to the brim with people, I hadn’t thought this was a full on ball, and from memory, it wasn’t meant to be. But here people were, dancing and drinking and… smoking? A corner of the room had been turned into an almost Tevinter esc themed area, as best I can describe it, large lounge pillows and low sitting tables with a hookah sitting in the center, elves in servant garb walking around, taking drinks, giving drinks, whispering to one another, it was all very Tevinter. It didn’t help that the elves were wearing collars. I shuddered at the thought of one around my neck. 

Ben lead me further into the room, trying to ignore the smoking area, and heading to where the drinks were. They announced us as we entered, “Lady Melana of Denerim, Representing the Inquisition, escorted by Lord Benjamin Travelyn of Ostwick, Representing the Inquisition.” The room went dead silent. All eyes shifted to us. Ben went stiff next to me. 

I smiled politely into the throng of people before pushing Ben’s shoulder lightly, he followed my urges and we finished our walk to the fountain. Conversations finally started picking back up, and I floundered to get a drink in Ben’s hand as quickly as possible. I snagged one from a passing servant and shoved it in his direction, his fingers shook as he took the martini esc drink from my hand and tossed it back. 

“Are you okay?” I asked, hand still on his shoulder. He was about to respond when we heard an almost gentle voice, the Orlesian accent accompanied a beautifully dressed man, who flowed like water as he drew closer. I was glad to see he was dressed at least in the same color pattern as Ben and I, gold and white, with a few hints of other colors, though he was much more pompous with it.

“What a pleasure to meet you, My Lord, My lady. Seeing the same faces at every event becomes so tiresome.” The man said with small flourish of a bow, a woman stood at his side, and contrary to what I remembered from the game, they stood much like Ben and I, arm in arm. “So you must be a guest of Madame De Fer. Or are you here for Duke Bastien?”

That was that fuckers name, I could not for the life of me remember it until just now, though I didn’t know he was here.

“Are you here on business?” The soft spoken woman at his side asked. You could see him smiling at her even from under his mask, it seemed they were something of a couple, which the game never really showed before. “I have heard the most curious tales of you, I cannot imagine half of them are true.” 

Both of their golden masks seemed to be aimed at me for that one, luckily my mask hid the majority of my face as well, so I tried to hide my distaste for that statement.

“What have you heard about me?” Ben asked, much to my surprise. I expected him to just brush it off and move forward, not actually engage in further conversation with these NPCs.

“Some say that when the veil opened, Andraste herself delivered you from the fade!” The woman said in a sing song tone, her hands coming together in front of her, breaking from her lover’s grasp. She was rather adorable in truth, though I couldn’t tell her exact age she wasn’t much younger than Ben or I. Though the man seemed older, I wondered if their was a scandal there, perhaps I should ask Josie about it when we got home. 

“Well then,” Ben chuckled, “Everything you’ve heard? It’s all true.” 

I wanted to roll my eyes.

“Better and Better! The Inquisition should attend more of these parties.” She exclaimed with a giggle, Ben smiled, clearly settling more into his party self, now with a drink in his belly, when I saw a familiar douche canoe begin to descend the stairs. 

“The inquisition? What a load of pig shit!” The Marquis called, gathering up all of the attention in the room. “Washed-up sisters and crazed seekers? No one can take them seriously.” he finished as he stepped down the last stair.

I’d never noticed that was a dig at Leliana and Cassandra, as though I had too many reasons to want to punch this guy. He crossed in front of Ben and I, looking down his nose at me as he passed. He went past the group of us to stand across from Ben, as Ben moved to push me behind him. I could already feel the anger welling up inside of me, the want to rip this man's head from his shoulders, but I buried it down. Because I didn’t need to feel that way, from the look of Ben’s eyes I could tell he felt that enough for the both of us. 

“Everyone knows it’s just an excuse for a bunch of political outcasts to grab power.” He continued, almost growling it as he stared the two of us down. 

“The inquisition is working to restore peace and order to Thedas,” Ben said calmly, though his fist was balled at his side. 

“Here comes the outsider, restoring peace with an army!” He scoffed, talking a few steps closer to Ben. “We know what your Inquisition truly is. If you were a man of honor, you’d step outside and answer the charges.” He reached back for his sword, and Ben quickly took two steps back, an arm wrapped protectively around my waist, but a crackling sound broke through the room, and gasps soon followed it as everyone realized the Marquis was frozen.

“My dear Marquis, how unkind of you to use such language in my house… to my guests.” Vivienne's voice was calm and collected as she strolled down the stairs across the room, her hand balled in a fist in front of her, flowing and pulsing with ice magic. Her golden mask with it's Qunari like horns sat atop her head, making her the new centerpiece of the room, her white and gold frock further accentuating her deep brown skin, and the wrappings making her neck look long and profound. She wore her usual outfit, though with a few changes, inside of leggings and boots she wore a large poofed skirt, that made it look difficult to walk in, and each step she gave a clack, clack, to suggest she wore heels under that skirt. 

“You know such rudeness is… intolerable.” She said, tilting her head slightly to the side as she spoke, closing the distance between her and our small group. 

“Madame Vivienne,” The Marquis choked out, “I humbly beg your pardon!” 

Ben relaxed at my side, his arm moving from his protective stance to let this scene play out. 

“You should,” Vivienne snapped as she crossed in front of him. “Whatever am I going to do with you my dear?”

He was silent, barely able to blink. I sniggered but said nothing as well, waiting for her to address Ben. Vivienne seemed to think on it a moment, before turning towards the two of us. 

“My Lord, you’re the wounded party in the unfortunate affair.” She sighed. “What would you have me do with this foolish, foolish man?” 

Ben’s response was instant, a swift, “I don’t care, do whatever you like with him.” 

I knew an option was to kill him, I never thought Ben would but I exhaled my relief when he didn’t. 

“Poor Marquis,” Vivienne cooed, putting her hand to the man's chin and turning his head to examine him. “Issuing challenges and hurling insults like some Fereldan Dog Lord.” She snapped her fingers and the Marquis sprang to life once again, his hand flying to cover his mouth as he let out a wretched cough. “And all dressed up in your Aunt Solange’s Doublet. Didn’t she give you that to wear to the Grand Tourney? To think, all the brave chevaliers who will be competing left for Markham this morning… and you’re still here.”

I smothered a laugh at that sick fucking burn, but she was still going. 

“Were you hoping to sate your damaged pride by defeating the Herald of Andraste in a public duel? Or did you think his blade could put an end to the misery of your failure?” Vivienne was throwing some serious fucking shade. The Marquis lowered his head in shame, still not responding. “Run along my dear, Do give my regards to your aunt.” She finished, waving him off and turning to face us.

“I’m delighted you could attend this little gathering. I’ve so wanted to meet you, ah and I’ve not forgotten your companion, Lady Melana, was it?” She extended a small bow to me and I returned it. 

“Melana is fine Lady Vivienne, I am not royalty.” I replied, looking up at her, she was much taller than me, as is to be expected from everyone in this fucking world. She returned the smile, looking down at me though not… looking down on me. Her gaze was kind, which was almost unexpected after the serious shit she just laid down. 

“Not royalty indeed, but one of the Head Advisors to the Herald are you not? Quite an impressive feat if I do say so.” She chuckled, “You’ll have to show me how you do it. But for now, might I steal him away for a time? We have much to discuss.” 

“Yes, of course, I’ll find my way to the dessert table.” I replied, removing my arm from Ben’s, who gave me a sorrowful look. 

“Don’t do anything stupid,” He whispered as he was dragged away by the beautiful Madame De Fer. The man and woman who had been talking to us had magically disappeared, as unwanted NPCs are known to do. So I silently made my way up the stairs. 

The upper area of the party was much larger, a wide and long room with a band playing in one area on a large stage, and a long table on the other side, with an insane amount of food on it. In the center of the room was a crowd of people, all dancing, singing or clapping… luckily there didn’t appear to be any smoking areas in this room. I made my way to the food, keeping my head low and sticking as close to the walls as possible. I was halfway to the oasis of desserts when someone grabbed my arm, yanking me away from said yummies. 

“What are you doing here?” A harsh, but recognizable voice growled at me as I was dragged into an off room, and the door slammed behind me. I spun around to address my assailant when I saw something I hadn’t expected, white hair, a white mask with a brown and gold coat… Percival. In far fancier clothes than I’d thought he’d ever owned. 

“Percival?” It meant to come out as a question but it was mostly a laugh, and his scowl deepened. He shoved me into some sort of long hallway, with doors branching off of it in every direction, and one, large door at the end of it. “What are you doing here?”

“I asked you first, Melana, you shouldn’t be here,” He ran a gloved hand through his head of hair, he was clean shaven, which was even weirder, seeing as he’d looked like a man on the sixth day of a three day bender last I’d seen him. He caught me staring and took another step towards me. “Melana,”

“Sorry,” I shook my head, “I’m here representing the Inquisition,” I responded finally, trying not to look at his weirdly clean face. 

“Dressed like that? They’ll grab you for sure.” He started taking his coat off, but I stopped him, mostly because of Guardian on my arm tightening at him. 

“Who's going to grab me? You’re not making sense.” I held a hand out and placed it to his chest, just as the door behind us burst open and two people came barreling through, one more graceful that the other, Percival stepped forward, bumping into me in the process, sending us both a few feet back. 

“Percy!” One of them, a woman, whispered harshly, “You’re going to blow our cover!” 

“What cover, we’re literally here as ourselves!” Percy whispered back, just as harshly. 

The woman, and her companion, a man who looked just like her, stepped into view. Both elves, with their ears covered, but not concealed very well, with black hair, in black outfits which made them look terribly out of place. The woman looked me up and down, her eyes studying every inch of me. 

“You must be Melana,” She said, bowing slightly, which I immediately returned. “I am Vex’ahlia, and this is my brother Vax’ildan, Percy has told us quite a bit about you.” 

“It’s a pleasure I’m sure, but uh, Percival here just told me someone was going to take me? Yes I’d like to know more about that.” I said as politely as possible, “And if not, I’d like to return to the dessert table.”

Vex and Vax exchanged a look, before Vax opened the door slightly to look back out. 

“She’s in place,” He whispered to his sister, who nodded. Vex stepped past Percy and placed a hand to either of my shoulders, which was jarring to say the least. 

“Someone is taking elves, beautiful elves and young elves, they’ve been stealing them from parties or even from the Alienage, our intel says that they’re holding an auction here tonight before they ship them to Tevinter, we intend to put that to a stop, we’re baiting them with a redhead out there who should lead us right to them,” She said, pointing behind her to the ballroom. “Percival was supposed to be out there keeping watch, as he’s our only other human contact here, but he ducked in here and we had to come get him.”

“Yes I ducked in here because I didn’t want them taking her, she’s like a walking beacon screaming ‘abduct me and send me to Tevinter’!” Percy jumped in, pulling Vex back from me. “Look she’ll be fine in here, let's get back out there.” Percy sighed, shifting to exit the room.

“Wait,” I groaned. They all paused, turning back to look at me. Six eyes on my two. “If someone is taking elves, then I’m going to stop them.” 

There was a long pause, and I think I saw Percy smile, before Vax growled, “She comes or she doesn’t, someone's talking to Keyleth! We need to go!”

Vex smirked, waving for me to follow, “Just try and look less beautiful,” She said, “If that’s even possible.”

Percy made a sound of disgust, but continued to the door, he and Vax stepped out of it, but before Vex and I could follow, they were rushing back in, and shoving us into the nearest room whispering, “They’re coming this way!” 

The room we were all jammed inside was smaller than a broom closet, and Percy had to fight the door to get it closed, but eventually we all heard the click, and soon after… the sounds of people walking down the hall. I was shoved between the siblings which wasn’t… the worst thing? They were rather good looking, as far as I could tell, they were still wearing masks, but they seemed to carry themselves like attractive people. Which is a weird thing to think.

“Where are we going?” Asked a girl’s voice, and I felt Vax tense in front of me. 

“You’ll see little flower,” A man’s voice, a thick Tevinter accent, answered her, “Just this way now.” 

Their footsteps trailed off and Percy cracked open the door, watching, waiting, until stepping fully out into the hallway. We all tumbled out of the closet, trying to catch our individual breaths, as apparently we’d all been holding it in. Vax was on Percy in an instant, his fists balling up on his collar, it would have looked intimidating if Vax wasn’t two feet shorter than Percival. 

“Dammit man! She’s gone!” He shouted, throwing him a few feet back.

“Fifth door down,” Percival sighed, pulling some sort of device from under his jacket. Actually, uh, that looked like a gun, that man had a gun. I gave him a bike and he made a gun!? “I watched where he took her, Fifth door down, on the left.” 

Vax visibly calmed, before immediately taking off down the hall, with Percival shortly behind him. I pulled my staff off from my back just as Vex pulled a bow from off of hers, which I hadn’t noticed before, that or the quiver of arrows hanging from her waist. Maybe they’d been hidden magically? I’d ask Solas about stuff like that later. 

We caught up to the boys quickly, who were listening to the door. Well Vax was, Percival was standing with his gun pointed at the door, adjusting his aim. Vex pulled an arrow out and knocked it. 

I cast a quick barrier spell, and when a blue light shone around the four of us I almost giggled at it actually working, go me, my first real barrier spell. I was getting better fast. 

“They’re in there, I can’t tell how many, but they’ve definitely got kids, I hear crying… I don’t hear Keyleth but she’s probably just keeping quiet.” Vax reported, his eyes closed to concentrate, we were quiet a beat, my heart pounded in my ears, and for a moment I really wished I would have kept my armor on. 

“Now,” Vax said, loudly but not loud enough for anyone but us to hear, and threw the door open, running inside. The first thing I saw was a row of men and women, human, sitting on couches in front of a sort of stage, where a man stood, holding a fistfull of red hair, which was attached to an elven woman. Apparently this ‘Keyleth’, they kept mentioning. I kept back, and Percy fired a round into the room, with Vex quick behind him launching arrow after arrow into throat or neck of the humans. 

Vax was fast, very fast, he was on the man on the pedestal in an instant, jamming one of his dagger into his leg, causing him to fall down onto one knee, and dragging the other across his throat. Percy stepped into the room, reloaded, and fired into the chest of one of the men, sending him sliding down the wall. Vex was next into the fray, loosing another arrow but missing her mark, I saw her bite her bottom lip as she struggled to get another arrow up, but someone was on her. A woman with a knife in her hand lunged at Vex, which quickly turned into a sort of wrestling match in the middle of the door way, luckily she didn’t see me. I kicked her off of Vex, bending down to place my hand to her neck, Guardian caught the hint and traveled down, wrapping around her and tightening. She struggled to claw at him, but I ignored her. I moved back to Vex and helped her up, gaining a nod of respect as she stepped back into the room and loosed a second arrow into someone. 

I heard a cracking sound and looked down to see the woman's neck bent a way it wasn’t supposed to, in another life I would have vomited from that alone. I reached down and tapped a finger to Guardian who slithered, satisfied, back up my wrist. 

I turned back to the room to find that most everyone was dead, save the group I’d entered with, and a pile of terrified elves in the corner. 

“Fuck me sideways,” Vax cursed from the front of the room, he’d taken a dagger to the leg, though I knew not when. Everyone else seemed rather untouched, though Keyleth seemed worried over everyone, just as much as him, as though she didn’t understand the severity of the dagger. I crossed the room, placing a hand to his leg. “Anything you can do about it?” He asked.

I sucked in through my teeth, bending down closer to get a good look at the dagger that was at least two inches deep in his upper thigh. It wasn’t that bad, mostly the fatty parts of the leg, I reached out and gripped the dagger, gaining a groan from Vax. Vex and Percy walked past us and started addressing the group of elves. 

“It’s a quick fix, just, uh, breath.” I said, “On the count of three,” I steadied myself, one hand on his thigh, the other on the dagger. Keyleth moved behind him and held his shoulders. “One-” I ripped the dagger out and he went to scream but Keyleth slapped a hand over his mouth.

With the dagger out I poured healing magic into it, careful to direct it to the deepest parts of the wound, quickly stitching it back together, though I couldn’t save his pants. 

“There, that oughta do you.” I sighed, leaning back. Healing was getting easier for me too, and faster. That book had really taught me a lot. It was like one of those XP books in skyrim, only, it took me days to read it, and not two seconds. Vax seemed to be fine, and comforted in the arms of Keyleth, so I stood up, heading over to inspect the group of elves. If any of them were injured it was my job to help. 

They were mostly women, but a few kids were thrown in, orphans by the looks of it. I examined one or two of the women before Percival called for me in the center of the room. I wiped some blood off of my hands and onto the ground in front of me, because I wasn’t ruining my pretty dress if I hadn’t already, and made my way over to them.

“Thank you,” Percival said as I approached. “We would have had to make it back to our own healer if you hadn’t shown up, and she’s still in the ballroom. Imagine explaining that to all the Orlesians out there, oh don’t mind him, he’s just bleeding out on the carpet.” 

I chuckled but was rather numb from the whole thing, so the humor was mostly lost on me. Killing people wasn’t fun, even if they were asshole slavers. I would have to ask Madame De Fer why someone was selling people in her own damn home. 

“You should join the Inquisition,” I said, as Vex handed me some kind of napkin to wipe my hands which I quickly did. “We could use skilled people like you.” 

They all seemed to nod in agreement, glancing about one another. “Plus I mean, Percy pretty much already works for me, we pay pretty good, and it's a good cause. Oh uh… If you’ve got mages? We’ll make sure you’re safe during all this.” 

Keyleth’s eyes lit up at that, and she looked to the rest of her party eagerly, waiting for someone to say yes, something, anything, but they were all quiet. 

“We’ll see. I know you’re doing good things,” Vex said, “And hey, if the pay isn’t that bad, why not right?”  A bit of laughter filled the small room now, as the group of them chuckled amongst themselves before gathering up any loot on the corpses, of which there was a lot. I guess when you come to buy slaves, you bring a pretty penny. Percival gave me one of the coin purses, and one to the group of elves, who took it eagerly. They were all rather full, which I was excited to have. Maybe some new boots! Or a new cape! I’d love a new cape, something with fur.

I turned back towards the group of elves just as we were about to leave the room, and looked down to the children for the first time. Boys and girls, all a range of ages, brown, blonde, blue eyes, green eyes… one of them however was still over in the corner. Cowering in fear. 

“Go on ahead,” I said, patting Percy on the shoulder. “You know where to find me.” 

He gave me a nod as the entirety of them exited the room, leaving me alone with the small child. Short brown hair, small, maybe six or seven, but not… starving, well fed at least. I made my way across the room, climbed up onto the stage, and walked over to him, bending down behind him. He flinched at my presence, trying to squish himself further into the corner, whimpering. 

“Hey,” I whispered, “It’s going to be okay,” I went down onto my knees, scooting closer to him. “No one is taking you away.” 

His whimpering lessened as I spoke, so I reached out, placing a hand to his back. 

“Hey little guy, I’m right here, come on.” I gently ran my thumb back and forth. 

“I-I wanna go home,” His voice was raspy and quiet, barely audible. 

“I’ll get you home, but you’ve got to come with me.” I replied, rubbing my hand over his back again. 

He turned around, slowly, tears still falling in large droplets, his dark brown eyes shifting up to meet my gaze, his button nose red, cheeks bright, my eyes widened as we made eye contact. I searched his face, looking for some explanation, his curly brown hair falling over his tired yet bright eyes, his pointed ears twitching, the only thing I didn’t recognize on him. My hand flinched back for a moment, shock filling both of our faces, before he was lunging up into my arms, screaming out a deafening cry, and I returned it, my eyes quickly filling with tears as I yelled out, clutching at him, holding him as tight as possible to my body, begging him to be here, be real, and he was. 

I cried, as I held my baby brother in my arms. Because he was here, and he was real. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyy guuuyyys good job at finishing this stupid long chapter! Next time... the return to Haven! Angst! And cuddles, lots of cuddles. 
> 
> If you'd like to see the two versions of Melana's travel outfit they are on my tumblr, aright here:
> 
> http://masmkasm.tumblr.com/search/melana
> 
> I tag all my Mel art with Melana, and I've done a few pieces, go ahead and check those out, I will be doing more in the future. Uhhh Idk when I'll be updated again, my christmas times are about to pick up so I'll be pretty busy, but follow me on social media's if you want updates like that. Love you guys! See you next time!


	21. Trying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot shorter than last week's chapter, like half the length, but I can't post 14k chapters on the regular! You'd all get so spoiled. 
> 
> Enjoy <3

For a long time, neither of us said anything, just clung to each other, just… whimpering and hiccuping in between tears. I was still trying to grasp what had just happened, trying desperately to piece together the fact that he was here, in my arms, real. I sniffed back my fears and pushed him away from me, just enough to look at his face, maybe I was dreaming, maybe this was one of those desire demons I’d always wanted to try…

But as my eyes settled on his, his brown, quivering eyes, I knew it was him, really, actually him. I pressed my forehead to his as my breathing calmed, my eyes sliding closed. His hand found it's way to my cheek, then traveled up to grab at my ear, giving it a tug.

“Hey smalls,” I said, using that nickname I’d given him a lifetime ago, “that hurts.”

“You have them too,” He choked out, still pulling on my ear, his other little hand gripping a fist full of my hair to hold me still. “Madi-” he hiccuped again, “Where are we?” 

“Shh, shh,” I pulled him further up onto my lap, moving my legs under me to stand. He was light, as I picked him up, pressing him against the crook of my neck, lighter than he should have been. “Hey we’re okay, I found you, that’s all that matters.” 

I looked around the room, scattered dead bodies, rows of ornate couches, and a small room, just off the side of the stage. I held him on my hip, one hand steadying him and the other gripping my staff. I swallowed.

“Is mom here?” I asked, staring at that door. He didn’t respond save crying a little louder. I’d take that as a no, either she didn’t come with him when he did or… something else entirely. I moved closer to the door, pushing it open with the head of my staff, it gave, creaking open to a small room with a few piles of clothes inside. Whatever the elves had been wearing apparently, I was a little surprised they hadn’t wanted all this back, but I guess they’d been pretty stunned. 

I stepped into the small room, and with the butt end of my staff, poked around the pile. I don’t know what thought I was looking for, but I didn’t expect to see the straps of a modern backpack lying in that pile. 

“Oliver? Is that your pack?” I asked, lowering him to the ground, he glanced at it and nodded, before burying his face back in my neck. “Hey bud, I know you’re freaked out, but if there’s useful stuff in there from our world I need to get to it, so I need both hands for a minute okay?” 

He hesitated, but he nodded, sniffed up some snot, and pulled away from me. Letting go of him was almost painful, and I immediately wanted to pull him back into my embrace, but I pushed forward, leaning my staff against the wall, and stepping further into the room. I picked up the backpack carefully, it was a lot like mine, only with a bit more decoration. Hanging from it was a compass, a whistle, and a canteen. Oliver took a wary step into the room to look over my shoulder. I unzipped the bag. 

“What were you doing, when you got sent here?” I asked as I stared into the bag, with his Ipad, a pair of headphones, a pair of jammies, his dog blanket, a flashlight, and a change of clothes all visible. If I hadn’t known better, I’d think he had planned to come to Thedas. 

“We were headed to the mountain,” He started, squatting down next to me to start rummaging through the pile of clothes. “For camping, but we stopped to go pee and… I…” 

“You fell?” I asked, shooting a glance to his knees, which I hadn’t noticed before, covered in scratch marks. He nodded, pulling something out of the pile. “Me too,” I sighed.

He was now holding what I assume were the clothes he came here in, a pair of cargo shorts, a t-shirt, and a winter jacket. 

“I know,” He whispered. “Aunt Heather called us a few weeks ago and said you were gone, they thought you ran away but… well, I guess you did.” 

I scoffed, shaking my head as I grabbed a few of the clothes lying in the pile. As much as I wanted him to be able to wear what he was holding, some of the finer clothes would be better. At least until we left this party. Oh god, the party. I stood up, and he flinched, startled by my sudden movement. 

“Ollie, put those clothes in the backpack, for now I need you to put on these,” I handed him the fistful of gold and white clothes I’d been holding, I don’t know why such nice clothes were in here at all, but if he was going to make it through the party with me without looking like I’d stolen some street urchin, then he needed to wear them. 

He took the clothes from my hands and stared at them a moment. 

“But these aren’t mine,” He said, though he was already starting to take off the tattered potato sack of a robe they’d given him to wear. 

“I know bud, but there’s a fancy party out there and you’re not dressed up.” I said with a half hearted smile. I turned around, allowing him some strange sort privacy as he changed. After a few seconds of some awkward shuffling sounds, he pulled on my skirt to signal that he was done. I turned to see him, looking a little bit more put together, in an outfit that almost matched mine, though he wasn’t wearing shoes. 

“There you go,” I said, patting him on the head before leaning down to grab the backpack. I held it out for him and he slid into it, it being a bit fuller now with his original outfit inside, it weighed him down a bit. “You look so handsome.” 

Everything I said seemed to come out with choked emotion, as though I hadn’t known how much I’d missed him. He smiled up at me, though it was still a broken smile, and my heart ached. I ran a hand over his head, trying to wipe away some of the fear, and my own smile faltered. How long had he been here? Not long if my Aunt had told them I was gone a week ago… Was mom tromping through the woods, searching for him? This would ruin her. 

I kissed the top of his head, and his smile grew, just as he was about to hug me again I pushed him back, noticing the line of snot falling from his nose. I grabbed the robe he’d just been wearing a put it to his nose.

“Blow,” I said, and he listened, squinting and exhaling through his nose, a small trumpeting sound filling the room. I smiled once again, wiping his nose and tossing the rags to the side. “Alright kiddo-- oh, a few ground rules okay?”

He nodded.

“I know you’re scared, but I’ve been here a while now and I know how to protect you.” I said, putting my arms under his to lift him up off the ground and set him on my hip. He nodded again. “For as long as we here, you have to call me Mel, or Melana okay? I had to lie a little bit to get us where we are. If anyone, ANYONE that’s not me, starts asking you questions about where we’re from, or who we are, I need you to cry. Or act scared, okay?”

He nodded, though I wasn’t sure he was absorbing everything I was saying. I reached down and grabbed my staff, sliding it back into it's holder on my back. 

“Alright, good boy, let’s get some cake in you, yeah?” At that he started bouncing up and down on my hip and licking his lips, making a fake slurping sound. I could barely contain my laughter, gods I’d missed him. 

  
  


By the time we’d returned, the party was in full swing, the music was loud, and everyone was drunk off their asses. I caught a glimpse of Percival swinging Vex in dance, smiles on both of their faces, and I raised a brow. Good for him. 

Now with a child pulling me along by the fingertips, people were staring twice as much. Oh I could hear the rumors now, “Heralds party date disappears, comes back with a seven year old?!” Oh yes I was greatly looking forward to all of that nonsense. We made our way over to the dessert table, where, low and behold, Ben was already waiting for us. I bristled at the thought of talking to Vivienne about the auction for PEOPLE that had been in her house, but she was nowhere in sight. Ben, however, could not be more prominent. 

He had a plate, filled to the brim, with miniature pies, and had a crowd of women swooning all around him. I rolled my eyes, but was happy for him at least, he’d been so stiff when we’d first walked in, and now he was mingling with the-- oh god there were four empty wine glasses sitting behind him. 

“Ollie go ahead and make up a plate,” I said as I bent down, “In fact grab one of those little boxes and pack it as full as it will go, we’re leaving in a minute.” 

His face lit up as he saw the boxes in question, little white containers, sitting next to larger, white containers. Yeah he went for the big one. I grabbed one of the little ones and filled with with tiny Orlesian cakes, which were of course for Solas. We made our way slowly down the table, side by side, never letting Oliver out of my sight. He got, well, a lot of treats. I had to tell him no to a few because they’d melt or were filled with rum or something, but by the end of the table, where Ben was leaning, he’d filled his little box. 

“No listen, you won’t get the joke if you don’t know what Mabari shed like, so-- Melana!” Ben shouted, practically diving through his little crowd to grab at me, spilling his plate across the floor. The woman all giggled at his display. “Mel, okay so maybe-- get this-- maybe we should LIVE in Orlais, the wine, Mel, the wine is so good, like, soooo good.” 

“Yes I can tell by how much you’ve had.” I whispered harshly, before raising my voice to continue, “Excuse The Herald everyone he’s simply had such a good time, but unfortunately we need to return to the Inquisition this very evening, so Lord Trevelyan, say your goodbyes.” There was a resounding “Awww” sound through the crowd as I spoke, but Ben put on a good show of bidding them all farewell, while I turned back to Oliver. He was still there, standing at my side and staring wide eyed at all the people. I sighed in relief to see him, I thought for sure if I looked away for even an instant he would vanish, but no. Still there.

“Who’s that?” Oliver asked, staring forward at Ben.

“That is Benjamin, but you can call him Ben, he’s going to take care of us.” I said, just as Ben did a deep bow to the woman, and promptly fell over. “Well, after he sobers up.” I added, gaining a laugh from my brother.

I put my box of cakes on top of Olivers and jumped in to rescue Ben, lifting him up by his elbow and getting him standing straight again. 

“Come on you big lummox, let’s get you back. You’re riding on the back of the cart,” I sighed as I threw his arm around my shoulder, and grabbed Olivers hand in mine, and the three of us walked back out the way we came. 

 

The carriage ride back to the Inn was rather amusing, because Ben, of course, passed right out. I doubt he even noticed Oliver’s presence, but Oliver on the other hand, was lively as ever. He was giggling, bouncing around, and excitedly looking out of the cart, pointing at every store or building with lights on that we passed. He asked the occasional question, what’s that called, why are they speaking french, where’s that from and that sort of thing. He was rather energetic for someone who’d just gone through an extremely traumatic experience; I was still reeling from it. 

I mean all those people, were buying other people? And now they’re dead? In part because of my actions? I mean that one lady I straight up strangled to death with Guardian, but the rest were all possible due to my barriers. I got a little sick from that thought, and decided to just ignore it, as I assumed Oliver was now. 

The Inn came into view after a good ten minutes, and I could see the caravan all lined up and ready to go outside. It was maybe nine, ten o’clock, and I was already exhausted, I couldn’t imagine staying up the rest of the night just to guide the damn horses, but maybe now with Sera, we could take shifts. I blinked away a bit of sleep as the cart came to a stop outside the inn, jarring Ben awake. He seemed to have sobered up, because the first thing he looked at? Oliver’s little face, staring back at him.

“Where did you-- Melana did you steal a child?” He asked blearily, as Oliver scooted closer to me, whimpering and hiding his face in my arm. 

“I-- Oliver it's fine, no, Ben, I didn’t steal him.” I stood up, grabbing Oliver’s hand to pull him along with me, while cupping our boxes of sweets in my other hand. He followed, but he was still staring at Ben. “I found him, actually, and it's a uh… a long story, but this is my long lost brother. Oliver.” 

There was a long pause, where I was just standing there, staring at Ben, and Ben was sitting there, staring at me. He looked at Oliver, then at me, then back to Oliver, before closing his eyes and rubbing his temples. 

“Yeah, no yeah okay, I remember you saying something about that, uh…” He took a deep breath and extending a hand to Oliver, opened his eyes. “Nice to meet you then, glad to have you with us.” 

Oliver, the good boy I knew him to be, took Ben’s hand and shook it, Ben feigned injury, gaining a laugh from my brother before he promptly hid back behind my skirt. Ben stood up as the two of us exited the carriage, if he noticed how tired I was he didn’t say anything, but I could already feel the bags under my eyes, and the weight of my body dragging me down. 

The streets were relatively quiet, though the inquisition soldiers were all busy, running around the caravan, getting everything ready. I had yet to see any of our companions, and I was a little glad for it, I’d rather Solas saw me in this dress when I actually looked good in it, not the mess I was at the moment. I helped Oliver down from the carriage, watching him jump from the very top step and land with a thud on the ground, before he scurried back behind my dress. He was tired too, as he had the right to be seeing how crazy his day had been. I ran my hand through his dark curls again and again as we made our way over to the cart. 

I heard Ben get down from the carriage but didn’t pay him any mind, I was beelining for my travelling outfit, which I could see in a box resting haphazardly on the back of our cart. I pulled it down from the cart, putting our goodies in it's place, and carried it on my hip back over to the stables, where I’d changed before. If everyone was inside, I’d rather change Oliver and I outside. I didn’t want questions about him yet, mostly because I hadn’t thought of the answers. Getting Oliver to lie along with Solas and I… was going to be challenging. I knew Cullen would want to question him the instant we were back in Haven, and Oliver wasn’t the best liar. Damn my mother for raising one actual good kid. 

Back in the stall, Oliver helped me as best he could to get out of the dress, undoing a few laces in the back for me, allowing the dress to fall to my ankles. I stepped out of it and kicked it aside, grabbing the box with my travel gear in it. 

“Ollie put on your warmest clothes, that means jammies under clothes.” I said, pointing to his backpack. “Oh keep what you’re wearing too, we might need it in the future.” 

Oliver listened, starting to strip on his own while I fumbled with my outfit. It was easier to get on the second time, though I did need Ollie to hold it in place for me at one point so I could tie the straps on the side. Once I was all dressed I turned back to him to see how his changing was going, which was better than mine, honestly. 

Oliver had thermal socks, hiking boots, a thick winter jacket, and a hat on. The only exposed skin was his tiny little face, his itty bitty fingers, and his ears which were sticking out and pink. I knelt down and tugged at the edges of his hat until his ears were covered as well. 

“There we go, alright.” I stayed like that for a minute, squatting down on the hay covered ground in front of him, my hands on either side of his head, watching as his breath made a puff of fog in the air between us. I ran a thumb over his cheek. “Alright,” I sighed again, leaning my head forward until our foreheads touched. “Alright.” 

I put my dress back in the box, along with Oliver’s nice clothes, and held it under one arm, as I guided Oliver out of the stall with my free hand. 

“Do you want to ride the horse with me, or go in the back of the cart?” I asked as we rounded the corner back to the front of the Inn. Ben had also gone and changed, standing by his mount in his full armor, staff on his back, tossing back a swig of his canteen, which I hoped was full of water. 

“Mmm,” Oliver hummed, thinking as we stopped at the cart to drop off my box. “The horse!” 

“Alright buddy,” I said, leaning down to pick him up. He was almost too big for me to put on my hip, but neither of us seemed to mind. “But we’re going to be riding all night, so you need to tell me if you’re tired okay?”

“Okay,” He replied with an enthusiastic nod. “Where are we going?” 

I crossed in front of the cart, in front of the other horses, noting the new chestnut that was most likely for Sera, and passed the side of Solas’ Hart to stand by my own. She tapped her feet when she saw me approaching, and I was happy to see her as well, the braids in her hair still hanging loosely around her neck from this morning. Someone had saddled her for me, which was nice. 

“We’re going to Haven,” I answered finally, lifting him above me to sit on said saddle. He wiggled a little, pulling his leg over to the other side to balance himself out. “It’s where we’re going to live for a little while.”

“When are we going home?” He asked, staring at me. I froze, unsure of my answer. How do you tell a child that you don’t know how to get him back to his mother? Or that even if you could get him back, you wouldn’t go with him? Luckily I didn’t have to answer his question, because our conversation was interrupted by Ben.

“It’s time Inquisition! Let’s go!” Ben shouted from his mount at the back of the caravan, just as the rest of the inner circle hurried out of the Inn door, along with our guards and templars. Sera and Solas were riding next to and behind me, the four elves leading the pack, with Lista next to Sera. Cassandra and Varric were in the back with Ben, and the rest of the guards were scattered through the group, but Solas was the first one to me. 

“Melana,” He sighed it, skipping past his hart to grab my hand. “I was worried when Benjamin came inside without you, but--” His eyes trailed past me, to Oliver, who was staring down at us on my Hart. Solas’ hand slowly retracted from mine as his expression shifted from worry, to confusion, then to something akin to irritation. I glanced back and forth, like I could find the quick and easy explanation somewhere around me, but Oliver spoke before I could.

“Hi,” He said, waving down at Solas.

“... Hello.” Solas replied, his gaze slowly shifting back down to me. “Melana?” 

“Yes, Solas, meet Oliver, Oliver this is Solas,” I said, spinning around and grabbing some random straps on my saddle to tug on. “Uh, Solas, Oliver is my brother.”

I heard a sharp inhale from behind me, and reached up, grabbing the top of the saddle to hoist myself behind Oliver. My hart made a disatisfied grunt as I did, so I gave her side a light pat to settle her. I lifted Ollie up so he was sitting more on my lap, and less like he was being shoved under me. I pulled his backpack off of him and put it behind us, jamming it between my back, and my pack which was already strapped onto her. 

“Your…” Solas’ voice trailed off as he processed the information, gears turning in his head as he realized what this meant. Our eyes locked and I nodded. He straightened himself out. “We’ll talk about this in Haven then?” 

“That’s probably best,” I replied, watching him turn to get onto his own hart. There was too much I wanted to talk about with him, Oliver, Vivienne, not to mention Percival’s guns, which could be endlessly dangerous. I eyed him for another instant, as he settled on his mount, shooting awkward glances over to Oliver who was bouncing happily on my lap. 

 

We had only been riding about thirty minutes before Oliver became dead weight on my chest, falling fast asleep, and snoring rather loudly. I snorted a laugh, knowing that this would have been the only outcome in this situation. The air was chilled, and biting at every bit of exposed skin I had, so Oliver was a welcome warmth, though I was worried about him getting too cold. I pulled him close against me, trying to tuck his hands into his pockets, but he seemed unwilling. 

“Here,” Solas sighed next to me, guiding his hart closer to my own, he pulled his cloak from around his shoulders and draped it over my brother and I, “You look cold.” 

“Ah-” I exhaled, a puff of hot air escaping my lungs. “Thank you, I was more worried about him… I didn’t see his inhaler in his bag…” I sighed, staring down at the top of Oliver’s head. “He could get sick from this.” 

“You should put him in the cart,” Solas said matter of factly, his hand travelling up to my cheek to draw a heating rune into it, “Vhenan,” his voice softer this time, barely audible, “You’re like ice; no one will be cross with you, you’ve had a long day.”

“I had a long night too,” I whispered back and he chuckled, a smile now gracing his lips. 

“It could have certainly been longer,” He replied, adjusting the reigns in his hands, it was my turn to chuckle, nodding in agreement. 

“Next time,” I added, and he repeated it, pulling his reigns to move his hart back into position, but his smile remained. That quiet promise of a next time kept me going for some time, along with the warmth where Solas’ hand had been, I wasn’t quite as cold anymore. Oliver slept, cuddled up against me, rocked into a deep slumber by the sway of the harts steady footsteps. I don’t know when I drifted off, the memories blurred by the sleep I fell to, I remembered arms around me, carrying me, holding me. I remembered being worried about Oliver, but that subsided when I felt his warmth against my chest once again.

  
  


I woke up to the callings of birds, Oliver’s foot jammed in my stomach, the smell of bacon, and an ever present aching all over my body from sleeping in armor. It wasn’t hard to figure out where I was, wrapped in furs and thick winter blankets, tucked between a stack of boxes and a hard wooden surface. Someone had moved us to the back of the cart, who, I didn’t know, but it was rather cozy. I shifted, trying to push Oliver away, but he groaned in protest. 

“Are you awake?” I whispered, reaching over to poke at his cheek, he groaned again, rolling his face away from view, and I took that as a hard no. I sat up slowly, further taking in my surroundings. The cart wasn’t moving, and the quiet sound of distant conversation accompanied the crackling of a fire, and the ever present bird chirping. I searched around for the latch to the back of the cart and eventually found it near where my head had just been lying, I clicked it, and then searched for the one at the other end. 

All of the movement only furthered Oliver’s irritation at my presence, the grumpy morning person he is, he began to kick me on purpose. 

“Yeah, yeah,” I huffed, clicking the second latch, sending the rear end of the cart falling backwards. The fireside conversations quieted in an instant, before picking up when I flung my legs over the end of the cart. My boots were still on, so I simply pushed off, down into the muddy ground below. I hit with a squelchy sound, my feet sinking a good inch into the ground from the sheer force of my landing. 

Glancing around I saw a makeshift camp just to the left of the cart, only about half our tents set up, the horses all individually tied up along the tree lines, and a dying fire in the center of it all. Our four guards-- two standard inquisition soldiers I knew to be Lista and Terrence, and the two Templars whose names I refused to learn-- sat around the fire, cooking a meal, breakfast or lunch I didn’t know. Lista waved enthusiastically when she saw me struggling to get my feet out of the mud, and I waved slowly back, unsure what she was so excited about.  

The air was bitter, less so than the night before, but still the cold pulled at my ears and nose, making me hurry over to the warm fire all that much faster. 

“Was wondering when you’d get up,” Lista said as I plopped down on the grass next to her. “Almost fell off your mount last night, gave us all a scare!” 

“Did I? Oh man, sorry guys, I must have just… drifted off.” I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck, I was sore all over, my muscles aching from the squashed position I slept in, not to mention the riding the previous night. I massaged that spot on the back of my neck for a few minutes, eyes closed, soaking in the heat emanating off of the fire. It was peacefully quiet, and I revelled in it, the silence of the world. No planes, cars, no constant chatter of the outside world… just the crackling of the fire, the soft singing of birds, and the occasional rustling from the tents behind me. 

“You should thank Lady Sera, she’s the one that went an’ caught you fallin’,” Lista said, a bit too loud, disrupting my blissful pause. “Not for her, you and the tyke woulda broke your necks both.” 

“I’ll be sure to do that, thank you Lista.” I replied, a bit harsher than intended. She bristled at my response, realizing I wasn’t in the mood for polite conversation. I was a bit surprised it was Sera that had caught us, considering Solas was the last person I remembered speaking to, but no matter. I’d thank her whenever she got up. I looked skyward, trying to figure out what time it was exactly, based off the sun's location. Now I wasn’t good at this, my dad had tried to teach me once when I was much younger, but if I had to guess, I’d say it was around noon.  “Did we break for lunch then?” I asked. 

“Mounts needed a break,” One of the Templars answered before Lista could, I saw the hint disappointment on her face. “Not to mention the rest of the crew, the Herald wanted to know when you woke up, second tent to the left,”

I looked in the direction he had nodded, and saw said tent, the flap slightly ajar, a warm light coming from inside, almost welcoming you in. I thanked the group of them and started making my way over, I was about halfway to the tent when the one next to it burst open, and Sera came tromping out, with Cassandra shortly behind her, yelling something about “Proper Inquisition behavior,”. I decided not to follow that, and instead ducked into Ben’s tent. 

It was a similar layout to the ones we’d used before, just as our travelling previously, Ben had a bedroll instead of a full cot, and was currently laying down on it. He was awake, holding a book over his face, with his legs crossed at the ankles, and when he saw me enter he almost dropped the book.

“Mel! Goodmorning,” He said, shifting into a sitting position. He was shirtless, in tan pants, legs crossed, and his beard neatly trimmed. “We were all worried about you last night, you crashed out pretty early on.”

“Ha, yeah, I didn’t sleep well the night before,” I replied, lowering myself down onto the ground in front of him. “And then yesterday was just… a lot, you know?”

“Yes, that’s what I wanted to talk about.” He said, reaching behind him and pulling something-- which I quickly recognized as a bowl of oatmeal-- out. He handed me the bowl and waited a minute, allowing me to take a few bites before continuing. “Your brother, you mentioned him before, when Cullen was... interviewing you. Last you knew he was in Denerim, right?”

I nodded.

“Right, and then he just showed up at Vivienne’s party? I’d like at least some kind of explanation for that.” He said, his chin resting on his fist, eyes flitting between mine. I swallowed. 

“Yes, well, you see,” I cleared my throat, setting the food down. “I was on my way to the dessert table, as we discussed, but a recently made friend of mine grabbed me and pulled me into a hallway, he told me that someone was abducting elves, specifically children and young girls. So he and his team had come to intercept them, and I offered my help.”

“And you didn’t think to come get me?” Ben huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. I wasn’t sure what he was more upset about, missing out on the fight, or that there was a fight at all. 

“The thought crossed my mind, but it all happened so fast… anyway, we dealt with the slavers, and I invited the group of them to join the Inquisition, they said they’d consider it and then… I found Oliver.” I put the bowl in my lap, staring at it. I hadn’t had much of a chance to talk to him, my brother, before we got to Haven, before we got home, I’d need to explain a lot. “He was so traumatized by the entire thing, well he hasn’t told me how he got to Orlais, he might not even know, you know?”

“Yes, I understand… Well, in light of this information I assure you I’ll be having a long conversation with Madame De Fer, and… Mel I know you want to come to the Storm Coast,” He started, reaching over to put a gentle hand on my knee. “But I really think you should reconsider, with your brother being here and all. I’m not bringing him to the Coast, and I think you two… you should stay together a while.” 

“I was actually thinking the same thing.” I replied, setting the bowl completely aside to focus on him. “And I wanted to ask, about the mages, our plan?”

“Yes, yes… I didn’t tell you did I? When the rest of the group went back to the Inn, Grand Enchanter Fiona approached them, we’ve been invited to Redcliffe to talk, which should get our foot in the door for adopting them into our army.” He replied, pausing only a moment before continuing, “I believe I should personally be there to meet with them, but… The Templars have extended no such invitation. We could attempt to contact them in that way, as Cullen would like, but I would need a team there as well. Someone I could trust?”

“Me.” I sighed, “You want me to go meet the Templars.” 

“I know it's asking a lot, but I’ll send a group with you, you won't be alone. And this was your idea, by the way. Getting them both.” He said, his lips curling into a sort of smile, as though teasing me. 

I hesitated with my response, I’d do it of course, but could I do it? I knew very little about the mission to recruit the Templars, I’d only done it maybe once, and seen a few clips of cutscenes… I wasn’t as prepared for that as I was for the Mage timeline. 

“Send Solas with me,” I sighed, running a hand through my hair. “If he’s with me I can do it, but without him, I doubt I’d come back alive.” 

Ben smirked, wiggling an eyebrow, insinuating far too much. 

“I will hit you Trevelyan.” I growled, and he practically giggled in response, as if I could ever do any real damage to him. 

After that we finished eating, and talked a little bit more about who was going where, If I was going with Solas I needed a tank as well, I suggested the soon to be new member, the Iron Bull, and Ben agreed. But then who was going with him? Well they’d just heard word of a Grey Warden in the Hinterlands, and Ben had sent a party to attempt to recruit him, with luck he’d be arriving at Haven a few days after we did. I thought only fondly of Warden Blackwall, I’d romanced him once, he was rather a favorite character of mine. 

So it was planned, after they returned from the Storm Coast, we’d be riding out with separate teams; Solas, Sera, Bull, and I would be going to the Templars, while Ben, Blackwall, Varric and Vivienne went to the Mages. 

My only lingering thought after that? Cassandra wasn’t going to be happy. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the sweet smell of filler chapters in the morning


	22. Hunting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW warning near the end of the chapter

Oliver was determined to sleep through the rest of the day if I’d allow it, but alas I am a cruel sister. I went to wake him up shortly after my discussion with Ben, but Solas was already there, standing at the back of the cart, staring down at him. He had yet to notice me, so I snuck up behind him, and poked him right at the base of his neck, startling him to spin around.

“Good morning Solas,” I chirped as he scowled down at me, rubbing where I’d just brutally assaulted him. I stepped past him to the cart, where Oliver was still happily snoring, mouth open, head tilted back… I’d forgotten how cute he was while he slept. 

“Good morning Melana,” Solas replied, a small tone of irritation added to his voice. There was a beat of silence between us as I reached down to brush back a lock of Oliver’s hair, my hand trailing down to cup his cheek before pinching it lightly, earning a groan in response. Solas cleared his throat and my gaze shifted back to him. “I wanted to…” His hand was extended towards me, but he seemed to regret the motion, his fingers balling into a fist, arm going back to his side. “I wanted to talk to you about last night.”

“Ah yes, I was waiting to hear your chastisement about my falling asleep on the back of my hart.” I replied, trying to contain my want to pull his hand into my own. People were walking all around us, which meant limited physical contact, which sucked. 

“No, I… I wanted to… I don’t know how to explain this without sounding like an ass.” Solas breathed a laugh, and suddenly I wanted to do more than hold his hand. He was blushing, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, he was flustered. Which was something I didn’t see in him often enough. He cleared his throat again. “I was too slow to catch you, when you fell; I should have been paying better attention- I mean, I was watching you, I just, I didn’t realize you were going to fall until you were falling, and Sera she- well she’d already caught you by the time I figured out that I should be getting down, and I’m sorry. It should have been me.” 

I blinked once or twice, just sort of staring at him, completely floored. He was upset with himself? For not realizing I was going to fall? 

“Solas, it’s not your fault,” I replied, pulling myself up on the cart to sit in front of him. “It was late, we were all tired. What matters is that someone caught me. I shouldn’t have been riding that tired anyway.”

He seemed reluctant to admit I was right, his eyes flitting between mine as if I’d hurt my head in the fall. I tapped my foot to his knee and he nodded, finally, deciding at least to let it go and move on for now. 

“Then I suppose, if all other topics are set aside,” He said, much quieter now. “We should fully discuss your brother.”

I inhaled. 

“Melana, he is not only a danger to us, but in danger from us, he is not safe here, we can’t pretend that he’ll be able to… to do what we’ve set out to do.” He paused to look past me, to Oliver who was still snoring, curled into a ball. “Vhenan, please.” 

“No Solas,” I said through gritted teeth. “I’ll send him back if I- if we can, but I’m not going to spend my time with him searching for a way to get him home. He’s here, with me, and I can keep him safe.” He huffed and glared at the ground, “Solas, look at me,” I cupped his cheek in my hand, guiding his eyes back to mine, though I had no idea what else I wanted to say. 

“You… Melana…” He pulled my hand away and fumbled with what to say next before settling on any particular lecture. “You realize now not only do I have to train and watch over you, I have to worry over and protect your brother as well? Melana I… I can only do so much.”

“I understand… Let me worry about him for now, okay? I can handle it for a while on my own.” I sighed, running a hand through my worried hair before repeating: “I can handle it.” 

 

We let it lie at that, neither wanting to push the other any further, and he went back to the camp, helping to start pack up, leaving me to wake up the beast. Oliver had always been hard to wake up, not a morning person, a lot like our mother in that way. It wasn’t a trait I’d inherited, I could wake up without a moment's notice and be perky as can be. But Oliver… A good ten minutes of gentle mumbles, quietly trying to wake him, before I just pulled the blankets off, was clearly not enough. 

“Oliver! It's time to get up!” I snapped, tossing the blanket aside. He groaned at me, and for a minute I thought he might start crying, but he just balled himself up more, tucking his face between his knees and stomach, trying to block out the sun. I sighed, knowing that we could go on like this for hours if I just kept trying to wake him up verbally. I pulled him to the edge of the cart, and he giggled as he struggled to get away, which quickly turned into a game, which quickly turned into a full on tickle fight. 

He finally settled down enough to get changed, and I made sure to bundle him as much as possible. We hadn’t hit the colder areas yet, but I had no doubt in my mind that we would by the end of the day. I was oddly curious about Ben’s strange schedule for us, leaving past midnight, stopping midday only to start riding again a few hours later. He was stretching us thin, stretching himself thinner. 

“Are we camping?” Oliver asked when he finally put two feet on the ground and saw the line of tents. They were almost done breaking everything down, amazing how fast they could do it without my “help”. 

“We were, you’ve got a little bit now before we’re taking off, I thought we could go walk around, maybe you could actually meet some people…” I sighed, scratching the back of my head as I watched him stomp his hiking boots into the mud. “Get some food in you.” 

He went to jump in a particularly gooshy looking puddle before I grabbed his hand and started pulling him away.

“Hey now bud,” I started, kneeling down so I was eye level with him. “We can’t have you ruining your clothes quite yet, I don’t really know of a method to clean them so just, you know, stay clean?” 

He grimaced as if that was the worst thing he’d ever heard.

“Yeah alright you little… come on, let’s at least get you some breakfast.” I tugged him along by the hand and he followed with a skip to his step, he seemed almost jovial for a kid who could barely stop crying yesterday. I guided him over to the fire, where Lista was now the only one still eating. 

“Mornin’.” She chirped in between bites of her eggs, I’d never heard her say so little, but she was probably still irritated with my tone from earlier. I brushed it off, as Oliver replied happily to her, and sat down on the ground next to the fire. 

I made him a bowl of eggs, using the last of them, and a slice of what I was pretty sure was bacon, before sitting down next to him. I was still in full armor, so as much as I wanted to curl in on myself, my chest plate forbade it. So I sat with my legs stretched out in front of me, my boots warming against the fire. I reached out as best I could, several joints popping in protest as I did. 

“Morning Dewdrop,” Varric called as he passed by us, carrying a crate back over to the cart. 

“Morning Varric!” I replied, waving at him as he went, before I noticed he was accompanied by Sera, who wasn’t carrying anything. “Oh-- Sera!”

I jumped to my feet, patting Oliver on the head as I rushed by. Sera stopped, turning more towards me, we hadn’t really talked at all, I mean, I knew her and who she was, we’d been introduced, but I hadn’t actually spoken at length with her. My gay little heart fluttered when her eyes drifted across my body before settling on my face. 

“Melana, right?” She asked, putting a hand to her hip. 

“Yeah, you uh, caught me last night. I just wanted to say thank you.” I choked out, extending my hand in thanks. She did another once over of me before taking my hand in hers and shaking it rather enthusiastically. 

“No problem,” She started, grinning ear to ear. “Don’t know why baldy couldn’t catch ya though, he was staring right at ya when ya fell.” 

“I’m sure he was just… looking past me. Anyway, Sera, I hope you fit in here, I know we’re all happy to have you,” I said, pulling my hand from hers. “Maybe we’ll get to know each other better in the coming weeks.” 

She didn’t reply, just gave me a sort of nod before hurrying after Varric. I wondered what was going through her head, and found my cheeks were flushed just from talking to her. I patted them, trying to slow my heart rate.

“Stop it Mel, you picked Solas, you can’t romance everyone, calm down, calm down” I chanted in my head over and over, staring at my feet as I did. Fuck if I was this bothered around Sera how would I be around Bull? I kicked a clump of dirt a couple of times before I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I spun to meet it.

 

“Lady Advisor, we’ll be returning to the road shortly, you should remount your Hart.” One of the Templars said, motioning towards the caravan which was now fully packed. Oliver and I seemed to be the only stragglers now, other than this guard. 

“Thank you, I’ll be right there.” I replied, pushing passed him to the fire which was now well past dead. Oliver had finished his breakfast and was simply digging his feet into the fresh mud and then pulling them back out, making a squelching sound. I just stared at him for a minute… he was… what? Seven years old? Pushing eight now? He was bigger than I’d seen him last, which is kind of a given, I mean, kids grow and all. I put my hand on the top of his head and brushed back some of his hair, making him look up at me with a sad sort of smile before smacking my hand away. 

“Ready to go? We’ve got some more riding before getting to… to our new home.” I said, bending over so I was eye level with him. “I thought since I don’t have to guide the caravan this time, I’d take my Hart behind the cart, if you want you can ride with me, or on the cart.”

“Can I go potty first?” He asked, standing up. 

“Yeah little man, go pee on a tree or something okay? Meet me behind the cart.” I pointed him towards the forest line and he nodded, already running off. “Hey don’t go in the forest, just right on the edge there!” I shouted as I started walking back over to the chattering groups of people and horses. 

 

The cart was in the middle of the caravan this time around, with the Templars leading the charge, an assortment of guards and inner circle between them and it, with Ben, Cass, and I holding the rear which made for an interesting few hours. Oliver sat in the back of the cart with Varric, who was more than happy to entertain him, or maybe it was the other way around? Who knows. They mostly played road games, as Oliver knew them better than me, or patty cake, which Varric seemed rather proficient in. Every time Oliver would say the word “Car”, which was a favorite of his, I’d have to promptly interrupt them and remind him to keep his mouth shut about stuff like that. As happy as I was to see him socializing with people, and coming to some sort of normalcy in this place, I couldn’t risk him blowing our cover so he could talk about his favorite kind of tractor. 

Ben and I chatted idly about the future as we rode, just little things like what to expect in Redcliffe, when I told him I’d never been though, he got excited.

“It’s such a cute little town, you have to come with us on our next trip there. Well, next, next trip there anyway.” He said, chuckling to himself. “I can’t believe you haven’t been, I mean it's right next to the Crossroads where we picked you up.”

“There are a lot of places I’ve never been; Tevinter, The Hissing Wastes, The Dales, oh the Emerald Graves? I’ve always wanted to go there, it's supposed to be beautiful.” I sighed, pulling my feet from the harnesses to stretch them out, wiggling my already sore rump to try and relieve some tension. 

“Well rifts are tearing open all across Thedas, if you’re lucky, maybe we’ll be going to the Graves.” He replied, watching me as I stretched myself. “And maybe if you’re good, I’ll take you.” 

“Please,” I scoffed. “Who's the head advisor here? You’re going to the Graves if it's the last thing I do.” 

We continued on like that for some time before the caravan stopped for the night, and by nightfall we’d managed to get back into the snowier areas, though it wasn’t coming down yet. We were still on the main road, so we camped in relatively normal to camp areas, where you could tell someone had camped just a few nights before. The tents were up in a matter of minutes due to the quick work of our guards, and a new weird tip Sera had given them that somehow cut their time in half. Oliver and Varric had fallen asleep some time ago, and I was inclined to leave them there, but when Solas told me about a hot springs not too far away, I decided to wake Oliver at the least. 

I thought that it would be a sort of girls go and then boys go thing as it had been in the past, but when Solas put his hand in mine and started guiding me deeper into the forest, I realized what this was. Then I was regretting that I had woken Oliver, who was holding my other hand and following close behind. Solas lead us to the base of some kind of small mountain, which had been visible from the road but I’d not thought it's edge this close to our camp. We walked a bit further, making our way around a few corners before coming to a rather large cave. 

Steam came from the cave as though it was breathing, and the sound of water flowing gently accompanied it, with a stream trailing out of the cave’s mouth. Oliver immediately went to stomp in the water but I had to stop him, not wanting to get his boots wet any more than they already were. 

The three of us made our way inside the cave, and at first it was too dark to see, until my eyes adjusted to reveal three large, bubbling pools of water, with a waterfall coming from the back of the cave, and another letting water out. 

“I imagine we’ll have some time before anyone comes looking, I told the Herald where we were going and he said he would “cover” for us.” Solas said, helping me step over a rather large rock. I mumbled a thank you as I turned to help Oliver over the same obstacle. 

“Good, I need a nice long soak, and Oliver needs a good scrub.” I said as I lifted Oliver up and over to stand next to Solas. I was already sweating through my clothes in this steam filled air, and I wished momentarily I hadn’t worn my full armor up into the woods. I stripped Oliver first, but told him to wait for Solas or I before getting in, so he just sat on the edge, trying to cover his crotch. He seemed exceedingly embarrassed to be naked around us, but that was kind of to be expected. 

Solas finished undressing in record time, and hissed as he slid into the water next to Oliver, who eagerly jumped in as soon as Solas nodded his approval. 

“He can’t swim that great,” I said as I attempted to unbuckle my chestplate, which soon fell to the ground with a clang on top of my cloak. Eventually I was down to my underclothes, and Solas’ eyes caught mine as I dropped my panties to the floor, shortly followed by my bra. 

The water was heaven against my skin as I dipped my feet into the water, slowly sinking deeper and deeper into the pool. This one appeared to be the deepest of the three, as I could go all the way underwater and my feet would still not touch the ground. We quickly moved Oliver into a shallower pool, where he could stand up and the water would reach around his hips. 

“It's warmer than I expected,” I said as I sat down on an underwater outcropping of rock nearer to the edge of the pool. I was beyond relaxed, the heat burning away all my aches and pains. Solas hummed in response, swimming closer to me, until he was standing just a foot in front of me. I took the moment to examine him, the way the light bounced off the water and onto his bared chest, accentuated this muscles in ways I hadn’t noticed before. I swallowed. 

“Vhenan?” Solas asked, his eyes meeting mine before drifting down. My stomach flipped as I saw the visible want on his face, the longing to be less than a foot away from me. The echo of his promise rang out in my head, “Next time…” and I shuddered, pressing my knees together to try and alleviate some pressure. He edged closer, putting a hand on the rock behind me, just above my shoulders, trapping me in. 

I slid my hands up his chest, my fingertips rolling over his soft skin, before coming to his shoulders. Impatient, I tried to pull him to me, but he resisted, smirking. I glared up at him as he ducked down, just bumping his nose with mine, beckoning me closer, and I obeyed, my mouth opening slightly to try and catch his, but he moved away just enough so he was out of reach once again. His free hand found it's way to my hip, gently moving to grasp at the small of my back, before pulling me flush against him, forcing a gasp out of me. 

He chuckled, low and deep as I tried to center myself, my arms moving to hang loosely around his neck as his nose brushed mine again, this time pushing my head back, giving him clear view of my neck, which he eagerly pressed his lips against. He trailed a kiss from the base of my neck up to my ear, dragging his lips over my wanting skin before lightly biting down on my earlobe. At this point it was a miracle I was still standing, my knees buckling with every breath, every heartbeat, and then, as if to remind me that I was a bad person, Oliver shouted for me, and Solas flinched back. 

I licked my lips, deeply regretting bringing Oliver with. 

“Yeah what’s up bud?” I squeaked, trying to sound at least a little in control. Solas smiled and pulled back from me fully, sinking into the water.

“Can you wash my hair now?” He asked, I saw his little head poke into the space between our two pools, a big smile on his face. Little bastard, I was tossing him in the first rift we found, the first rift!

“Yeah sure, give me a second okay?” I called back, and he nodded, disappearing back into his pool. 

I turned my attention to Solas, who was happily sitting across from me, arms resting on either side of him on the back of the rocks. I swam across, his brow raising as I approached. I wasn’t as cruelly slow with him as he’d been with me, I swam straight up onto his lap, a knee on either side of him, and slammed my mouth on his. His reaction was instant; an exhaled moan and a hand on the back of my neck, drawing me closer as my hand travelled between the two of us and I grasped his ever hardened cock. I bit his bottom lip as I pumped him twice, before pulling away. 

He growled at the sudden loss of contact, but I only smiled, turning from him, and making my way to the other pool, leaving him there, alone, and very, very bothered. 

  
  


Oliver and I were sharing a tent with Cassandra and Lista, who were already asleep by the time we got back from the hot spring, though we’d left without Solas, who’d said he had “Something” to deal with. I’d only rolled my eyes and kept getting dressed. 

Ollie wanted to share a bedroll with me, but after the night before, when he’d kicked me constantly, I refused. Coming up with some dumb excuse and tucked him into his own sleeping bag. He was out in milliseconds, and I was soon behind him. The fade came easily to me now, though it hadn’t before. I stepped into it as though waking in a new world, the feeling of cold grass against my bared toes as I passed through a meadow, the morning sun dancing through the tall, uncut flowers around me, cascading light down upon my skin, I could almost feel the warmth as though it was real. 

I was in some kind of field, with a tall forest not far away, and inside that, a mountain loomed over the oddly green countryside, that same mountain I’d bathed in only minutes ago, but newer; young and fresh. I was alone, which was odd for me in the fade, not even Guardian was hovering over view in his usual protective position. I started to walk, the grass brushing my knees and coating me in dew as I went, closer and closer still to the forest line. 

I was just approaching it when I saw movement beyond, a shift in the darkness. 

“Solas? Ben?” I called into the emptiness of the forest before me, but got no response. I placed my hand against a tree, and leaned into the woods, trying to see deeper inside, but the path I’d walked before was gone, only a strange landscape remained. I hummed my disappointment, pushing past the tree, and stepping into the forest.

“Don’t,” Someone whispered, a voice I almost recognized, like a memory. I spun around, trying to find the source, but there was nothing, no one. “He’s coming, he knows you’re here, he knows you know.”

“Hello? Who's coming?” I called out again, turning towards the field now, as a shadow of a cloud passed slowly over, making everything darker. The shadow grew closer, and the voice spoke again.

“Don’t, he’s scared of you, you know too much,” The voice said, and I tried, I tried so hard to focus on it, try and put a face to the voice, but no matter how hard I tried, I just got a blank white screen. 

“I… I know you, don’t I? Who are you?” I shouted to the empty field, and as the shadow of the cloud began to overtake me, a single face appeared before me, a weeping, empty face, the face of a boy I once knew, a boy who died starving and alone. 

“Cole,” I whispered it, barely said it, and suddenly I was falling, blackness all around me, an empty void replacing the memory I was just in. A flash of light and I was sitting on the floor of a room I’d never been, four walls, a single, small window. I was breathing rapidly, panicking, unsure of my surroundings. Someone coughed, and my head turned slowly, terrified of what I’d see.

There he was, sitting against the door, barely breathing, bloodied and tired. Cole. Not the spirit, not Compassion… the boy. Cole. I wanted to scream out to him, but my voice couldn’t reach him, I yelled out for someone, anyone to help, but no one came. 

I moved closer to him, the bags under his eyes purple and blue, his legs splayed out before him, his arms loose at his sides. I wasn’t really there, I was in a memory of there. His memory of there. 

“Cole…” I spoke softly and the words managed to come out, and I realized why they hadn’t before, I’d been crying. I hadn’t even noticed the tears falling from my eyes. I whimpered his name again, and the boy seemed to notice, his eyes barely opening to look around the small room. But… he couldn’t seem to focus on me, he held up a hand, trying to reach out to me, and I mimicked him, my hand passing through his as though I was the spirit, and cupping his cheek. He leaned into it, as if he could feel me there. 

“I’m so sorry,” I choked out, shuffling closer to put my forehead against his. “I’m so… so sorry.” 

“He’s still there,” A voice said behind me. I didn’t turn to face it, ignoring it instead to try and focus more on Cole’s raspy breathing. “He’s still shut in this room, fighting for his life… you could help him. You… want to help him?” The spirit said, almost surprised.

“Of course I want to help him, look at him… He doesn’t deserve this, killed just for being born what he is.” I spat back at it, looking over my shoulder. It looked like Solas, but I knew it wasn’t him, Solas wouldn’t just stand there, staring. 

“I can give you that, I can help him, if you want.” The demon hissed, putting a hand on my shoulder. I ached to say yes, as I ran a thumb over Cole’s cheek, I wanted nothing more than to sell my soul to a demon just to save him… 

“Where is this? I don’t… I don’t remember where this is. Orlais? The White Spire?” I asked, maybe Cole, maybe the Demon, I didn’t care, I just wanted some kind of answer. The boy answered me with a small nod, though I don’t know that he could even hear me, and with that, I woke myself up, forcing my mind out of the fade, and back to my body.

 

The camp was dead quiet, and I tried to mimic that quiet as best as I could, sneaking through the tent, getting dressed, and then sneaking out of the tent. My Hart was happy to see me, though less happy that I woke her up. We’d been on a walking pace, I could get back to the city in a few hours if I rode hard enough, and I could. I wasn’t going to just stand by and let Cole die, not when I knew I could do something, even if… even if it meant he and compassion didn’t fuse into one being. I had to try. 

I threw my leg over, up onto my mount, and clicked my heels against her, turning her around, she eagerly kicked off into a run, only to slam to a halt an instant later, when someone stepped out in front of her. 

“Melana!” Solas’ voice was harsh yet quiet, chastising me with a simple word. I quickly calmed my Hart, rubbing her side and shushing her. “What in the world do you think you’re doing?” he snapped. 

“Solas, I can’t-I don’t have time,” I groaned, guiding my Hart around him so he was at my side. “I have to get to the White Spire and back before dawn, I don’t have long, please.”

“The White Spire?! Vhenan we just left the city, why do you need to go back?” He reached up, trying to grab at my reigns, but I yanked them away. I glared down at him, and he flinched back at my anger. He exhaled, “Melana, I’m not letting you rush back to Val Royeaux for some unknown reason... not alone.”

My glare quickly changed to a smile as he walked past me and to his own mount. 

“But I expect an explanation!” He snipped as we both took off, back down the road we’d come.

  
  
  


At full sprint we made it back to the edge of the city only two hours later but the Hart’s were exhausted, and had to be tied up at the Inn outside of town. Leaving Solas and I on foot. I had to hope that Cole could hold out a little while longer. I’d explained what little I could to Solas without revealing my real motive, I told him a spirit had come to me in my sleep and told me about a mage boy who was near death in the white spire. I told him about the demon, and his temptations, but I left out Compassion. I didn’t want him to stop me because of it, which I knew he would. 

The city was bright, but the spire wasn’t, almost to remind us that we shouldn’t be doing this. We made our way to the spire in near silence, slipping into the shadows to avoid guards and people alike. I caught the glance of white hair and a leather holster, and thought to call out to Percy, but decided not to. It was best no one knew we’d come through the city again. It would only cause suspicion. 

The Spire was barely guarded, and we slipped passed easily. Well Solas did, he blended in so seamlessly it was almost startling, and after a few minutes he showed me how to as well. Though I wasn’t nearly as good. We went in through the servants quarters, donning our masks, and casting a spell to hide our staves and armor, to slip right in. They didn’t look twice after seeing our ears. After that, it was up to me to try and find him, well, more to the point it was up to guardian. 

“I’m not doing it,” Guard snapped when I’d asked him on the way. “You’re going to get yourself killed.”

“Yeah well, you’re attached to my arm, so you know, tough shit dude.” I’d barked right back, and he eventually bent to my will, as he is known to do. So using him as a sort of dowsing rod, we made our way through the spire. 

It was painstakingly slow, we’d go to a new floor and Solas would have to pick every ward, every trap and every sensor, before we could even try and check for Cole, but floor after floor… nothing. We were almost caught four times, when a guard or mage would walk by, and Solas and I would have to squish into a corner, or cast a quick spell, to hide ourselves. Solas was starting to argue that this was a waste of time, when we got to one of the further up floors, maybe the twentieth, and Guardian said he felt something. Faint, and weak, but it was a life force in danger. 

I almost stopped breathing. 

The floor was a series of long hallways, as most of them had been, but this one hadn’t been used in years, it was in such disuse that I could’ve picked the ward protecting it. Cobwebs lined the ceiling and floors, empty crates stood in front of doors, windows, stacked precariously all over. 

“This is it,” I whispered to Solas, who nodded. He held his hand up with a flourish, and a blue light escaped his palm, a sigil appearing on each door lining the hallway. One by one they lit up blue, blue to tell us no one was in there, until, three doors down, with a stack of boxes outside, one blinked red. I was running before I knew what my feet were doing, pulling boxes down faster than I knew my arms could move, and swinging the door open quicker than I’d intended…

 

Across from the door sat a boy… a large brimmed hat on his head, his legs splayed out in front of him, and his arms hanging lamely on either side of his slumped torso. My hands shook as I stepped into the room, and softly, I spoke his name.... A moment passed… then another… 

 

His fingertips twitched, and his head rose, his eyes meeting mine, his lips chapped, eyes tired, slowly, he started to weep. I was to him in an instant, pressing my waterskin to his lips and telling him to drink slowly, though he tried to guzzle it down.

“You’re okay, I’ve got you now…” I whispered through my own tears. Solas stepped into the room, quietly closing the door behind him, he seemed completely in awe, as though this entire time he hadn’t believed me, but here was the boy, and he was real. 

“You found him,” Another voice filled the room, one I knew to be Compassion; who could only truly be Compassion. “You helped him.”

The outline of a blue figure slowly appeared in the corner, and Solas flinched back, before settling. He knew what it was, he knew it wouldn’t hurt us. 

Cole stilled in my arms as I handed him a small chunk of bread, before he was basically attacking it. 

“You helped him,” The spirit repeated. “But you… You need my help.”

“Yes,” I answered, “Compassion, I need you. You can help me more than anyone else, but you have to want to do it.”

“I… I want to help.” He responded. 

“Melana what are you doing?” Solas asked, his hand going for his staff. 

“Do you trust that we’ll never twist your purpose? That I can protect you?” I asked, holding a hand out for the spirit, who stood more solidly now, watching me with curious eyes. 

“Melana don’t-” but Compassion cut Solas off, his spirit spiraling down towards me, then quickly passing me, and fading into Cole. 

 

In the back of my mind I heard Compassion whisper, “The contract is made.” 

  
  
  


Cole went limp at my side, and I let out a long breath, knowing I’d done the right thing. 

 

“Melana!” Solas shouted, crossing the room to yank on my arm, pulling me back up onto my feet. Oh yes, the one person here who probably doesn’t think I did the right thing. “Do you know what you’ve done?!” 

“I saved him Solas! I saved them both,” I snapped back, pulling my arm from his grip. “You don’t understand, this was the only way to keep the timeline intact while saving Cole’s life.” 

“I don’t understand?! You’ve just made an abomination out of this boy!” He was practically screaming, and I had to put a hand to his chest to remind him exactly of where we were. He calmed only slightly, his cheeks still red with anger. 

“Will you allow me to explain?” I asked, and he pulled back from me, pacing a moment before agreeing. “Okay, in the main timeline, the one I wasn’t in, Cole died, but before he did, Compassion merged with him, and they became one being, making themselves this sort of new being altogether. But before that, Compassion was killing Circle Mages because he thought that was the right thing to do, he’d put them out of their misery. He needed Cole as much as Cole needed him. Cole didn’t want to die. Now he doesn’t have to.

“Allowing Compassion into his body doesn’t make him an abomination, because Compassion isn’t a demon, he never was, he was a spirit, you of all people know the difference.” I sighed, “His purpose isn’t twisted, it's found an anchor. He’ll fight with us, for us, to help the people of Thedas.”

“But what if the boy doesn’t want to do that?” He asked, a little calmer now, more understanding and less angry and Melana for doing a thing he didn’t understand. 

“He’s a mage that was almost killed by a group of Templars, trust me, he wants to help.” I chuckled, moving back towards Cole who was breathing steadily, fast asleep. “Look, they’re getting to know each other, but we need to get them out of here.”

“I’m still not entirely sure this is the best thing Melana,” Solas sighed as he crossed the room to help me lift the too light Cole. 

“Be mad at me later Vhenan.” 

 

If we thought sneaking in without an unconscious teenager was hard, sneaking out was near impossible. Between the two of us I was stronger, so I ended up carrying Cole down all the stairs, but getting him out through the now busy kitchens was far more challenging. We ended up putting him on a small cart, and then putting a blanket on top of him, to try and disguise him as a pile of potatoes. Yeah that didn’t work.

“Where are you two going? We’ve got to finish breakfast before sun up, and the eggs aren’t even here yet!” The Chef shouted at us as we wheeled our cart through the kitchen. “And what's all that? Potatos? We don’t need those!”

“That’s why we’re taking them outside Chef,” I replied, hoping beyond hope that that would be enough to get us out. 

“What? No! Put them in the backroom, Potatoes should be stored, not dumped!” She snapped back at us, waving her wooden spoon around to guide us toward the back room. I looked to Solas, who looked back at me, before grabbing the handles of the wagon, and bolted. I was shortly behind him, through I did get whacked on the head by a spoon, and heard the chef scream, “Stop! Thieves! Potato thieves!” 

We rushed through the back courtyard and towards the gates, just a the guards turned to face us, spears in hand. The sheet flew off of Cole, who was still sleeping soundly, and the Chef screamed behind us: “They’re smuggling a mage out! Stop them!” 

Solas reached behind him, grabbing his still cloaked staff with one hand holding the cart, he waved the staff in front of him, the cloaking spell dropped, both our staves and armor coming into clear view as we rushed towards the guards. He spun his staff between his fingers, and a spiral of fire encircled the guards, causing them to drop their spears and squish together to keep away from the flames. I let out a laugh as we ran by, out the gate, and down the street.

 

The city was on high alert now, not even breakfast time and the entire city guard was combing the streets for two elf mages and a human mage. Solas was beyond cross with me as we snuck through alleys and down the darkest streets we could find. Half the city had been woken up by the sirens that had gone of mere minutes ago, and I was starting to worry about Oliver. I’d left without warning, without really even thinking of him, which is something I should never do. He was going to wake up alone. Well, with Cassandra and Lista. Which was basically alone. 

“This is idiotic,” Solas grumbled under his breath as we snuck down another alley, just avoiding a group of Templars with rather large swords. “We never should have come back.”

“Shut up,” I snapped back, entirely done with his depressing rhetoric. “Come on.”

I turned down another street, with Solas close behind me. We’d ditched the cart some ways back, and had cloaked our staves and armor again, but now Cole was on my back, still fast asleep, causing me to be quite a bit slower. 

“If we get arrested you can explain to Benjamin what we were doing back here.” He whispered back as a group of women passed by. 

“If you keep up this shitty attitude you can explain to your dick why you’re never getting laid again.” I snapped back, a little too loudly, causing the women to chuckle. Solas only grumbled more, but never replied, and he didn’t have to, I knew he didn’t mean to be this grumpy, I’d dragged him back to a city he didn’t like, to rescue a person he wasn’t sure would be there, and then I turned that person into an abomination in front of his very eyes. He had every right to be upset with me, even if he knew I’d done the right thing. 

We finally made it to the edge of town, where the Harts were waiting eagerly, they seemed ansey to get back on the road, and we didn’t keep that feeling from them. Solas purchased a horse for Cole, and we strapped him carefully to it, covering him so that he wouldn’t be seen on the road, and then we were off. 

The sun rose behind us as we sped off towards Haven, and we both hoped, prayed, and we’d done the right thing. 

We made it back to camp just as they started waking up, the two Templars the only ones watching the fire. Our Harts were exhausted once again, but happy that they got to virtually run free through the roads all the way back. We’d only just gotten back to the Caravan when Ben ran out of his tent, ever shirtless, right up to me.

“There you two are! You’re lucky your brother hasn’t woken up yet, we were about to send a search party out, what happened?” Ben sounded actually super worried, grabbing me around the waist to help me off my mount. He sat me safely on the ground as someone came by to grab my Hart. 

“Yes Melana, why don’t you explain where we’ve been?” Solas snapped as he walked by carrying Cole in his arms.

“Who is that?” Ben asked, pointing after Solas and Cole.

“Hey I thought I only had to explain IF we got arrested!” I shouted after Solas who was already back to the tents.

“Arrested? Mel, what happened?” Ben repeated.

 

I took a deep breath before looking back to him. “Okay, so a spirit came to me in my dream last night, telling me that there was a boy that was dying in the White Spire and that I was the only one who could save him. So Solas and I rode out last night and snuck into the White Spire and then we actually found him but a Spirit made a deal with him to save his life as we got there, but he didn’t become an abomination and instead I promised to watch over him and make sure that the boy didn’t twist the spirit's purpose so basically there are two souls in one body but it's okay because I have everything under control okay? Bye!” I spat everything out so fast that he couldn’t really process what I’d said before I was running back to my tent.

I imagined I’d be in some kind of trouble with Ben later, but I wasn’t worried about that right now. Right now I was worried about being in trouble with Solas, luckily I knew how to make him… slightly less mad at me.

Oliver was still asleep, but Lista was sitting up, reading over some notes in a small book she had. She seemed surprised to see me, but happy that I was okay.

“Little ones still sleepin’,” She reported. “He wouldnt’a ben to happy you were gone.”

“Yeah,” I laughed, crouching down on the ground to brush a bit of Oliver’s hair out of his face. He stirred, but didn’t wake. “Lista, I’m going to go hunting with Solas for a little bit, can you make sure Ollie eats, and what not?”

She raised a brow at the word “Hunting” but agreed none the less, like she had much of a choice, I was her superior and all. 

With Oliver sorted out, I changed my clothes, grimy from a full night of riding and running around Orlais. I put on my old sweater over my bathing suit, which I’d mostly forgotten I’d had. I’d worn it once or twice to use as underwear, when I hadn’t really had any, but this was the first time I’d actually use it as a bathing suit. 

Everyone was pretty much awake around camp now, and it was almost like Solas and I hadn’t left at all, save Ben who was pacing by the horses. I quietly made my way over to Solas’ tent and let myself in. 

Varric was asleep on his bed, and Cole was now occupying Solas’ while Solas stood with his back to me in the center of the small space. He didn’t acknowledge me until I put a hand to his back. He turned, and looked like he was going to say something, but I put a finger to my lips and shushed him. He listened, motioning for me to go out, and I listened, the two of us sneaking out of his tent, and then, back into the forest. 

It was noisier this time, walking through the forest. Birds were awake now, and having loud conversations while Solas and I had our own. 

“You’re mad at me,” I said, my hand holding his.

“I’m not mad Melana, I’m… I don’t trust you as much as I did before.” He said, basically twisting a knife in my gut as he did. 

“...Oh.”

“Melana… You need to tell me things, the things you’re going to do, your plans,  **before** you do them. You can’t keep doing outrageous things, and then expect me to be okay with them.” He sighed, running his hand over his face as he did, visibly tired. 

“I… I don’t mean to leave you out of things… But I’ll try, okay?” I wasn’t entirely sure how to respond, though I knew he was right, I needed to trust him more. There needed to be mutual trust. We walked deeper still into the forest, before coming to the entrance to the cave once again.

 

“I was wondering where you were taking me, is this to continue what you started last night?” He asked, a devilish smile on his lips. 

“What I started? Please, you’re the one who got all flirty with me first,” I replied, still tugging him along into the cave. He chuckled, and it was that warm, deep laugh that I’d missed those last few hours, and suddenly things weren’t as bad as they had been moments ago, suddenly I was okay, and he was there, smiling. 

The cave was just as warm as it had been before, hotter even now as the two of us entered it, hand in hand, knowing what we were there to do. There was a tense anticipation in the air, awkward almost as we made our way inside. The pools were bubbling, and we were both more than excited to get into them, Solas broke holding hands with me to start undressing and I did the same, though I left my bathing suit on. He didn’t seem to notice as I ran into the deepest pool, jumping in with a loud splash.

I held my breath underwater for a few seconds, just letting the world around me melt away, the only sounds I could hear were my own heartbeat, and the steady trickle of water from one pool to another, before the sound of Solas getting in caused me to come above water. I flung my hair behind me, the mass of it flying back and smacking against the waters surface, though a few strands stayed around my face. I couldn’t touch, so I simply swam in place, turning to see the spot where Solas had just jumped in. There was a patch of bubbles, and a series of waves, showing that he’d just been there, but he didn’t come up. I spun around, just as I caught a glimpse of his skin tone underwater, but it was too late, he was directly under me, and pulled me under as soon as I’d realized what he was doing. 

I screamed but it was more of a laugh as he dragged me further under, his hands on my hips as he became eye level with me, the hot water burning my eyes, but I couldn’t close them, he was smiling so wide I couldn’t look away. Our legs tangled as we both tried to swim in place, and he pulled me in to kiss me, breathing a short burst of air into my lungs, enough to make me want to stay under a second longer, enough to kiss him back. 

We both burst out of the water, laughing like idiots, but even as I swam to the edge of the water, Solas was close behind me, never wanting to be outside of arm's length. I was still laughing when I pulled myself up onto the edge of the pool, running my fingers through my hair. Solas snorted a laugh as he finished his approach. 

“What  _ are _ you wearing?” He asked, now standing in front of me. 

“It's called a bathing suit,” I replied, hooking my foot on his side and pulling him between my legs.

“It’s called in the way,” Solas growled as he followed my guidances, finding himself pressed between my legs, my knees holding him there. He reached up and grabbed the straps of my bathing suit, gently pulling them down.

“Someone is eager,” I stuck my tongue out, allowing the straps to wiggle down my shoulders before I pulled my arms out of them entirely, but didn’t let my breasts out. Solas only hummed in response, apparently perfectly fine with my still wearing some clothing, he ducked into my neck, one of his favorite places to attack first. His kisses were gentle to start, just getting used to feeling my skin against them again, before he got greedy, his teeth digging in and causing me to gasp. I raked my nails across his back and he groaned, his body stiffening before relaxing again. 

At that he was on me with a fury; he pulled back and I got a brief view of his eyes, which were hungry, near black as his hands found the straps of my bathing suit again, and this time, he didn’t stop pulling until the fabric tore to shreds. I wanted to be mad, that was one of the only things I had from my world, but honestly, I didn’t like it that much anyway. Plus the thing in front of me was far more appetizing. 

I let out a squeak as his mouth found it's way to my breasts, kissing and suckling at one while playing roughly with the other. My hand flew up to my mouth to try and cover some of the lewd sounds I was making, but he stopped the instant I did. 

“Vhenan… I need to hear you…” He spoke so rough and low it didn’t even sound like him, but I listened, forcing my hand back down to my side, and he went back on the attack. He switched to the other breast, licking it once before dragging his tongue back up my chest to my neck, standing up. The water sloshed as he moved closer, thrusting himself against me, my head thrown back in a moan as his cock rubbed against my clit through the last bit of fabric that remained. 

He suckled a hickie there on my neck, leaving a hot mark burned into my skin, his way of claiming me as his own. His right hand gripped my left thigh, pulling it up as he trailed his kisses down… down… down… until his lips pressed outside of the thin slip of fabric between him and my cunt. 

I barely breathed as he brought his other hand down and pulled the rest of the bathing suit off, tossing it to the wind. He guided my leg onto his shoulder, and with one last smile up to me, he dove in, his tongue going straight for my clit, mercilessly attacking it. I fell backwards, my body hitting the carved stone as my back arched out, unable to contain the moans coming from inside, but they only seemed to edge Solas on. 

He ran gentle fingers over my entrance, testing it, before pressing slowly in with a single digit. I near about came on the spot just at the sensation of him entering me, but as he slid his finger further inside, and I tightened around him, there was no doubt in my mind that I was already close. So when he put a second finger in, and then started pumping them both in and out, with his tongue dancing the alphabet on my clit, I screamed out my first oragasm. But he didn’t stop, even when I told him, begged him to, he only intensified his work, sucking my clit into his mouth, and buried a third finger inside me, causing my screams to quickly switch, begging him for more, not to stop, keep going, until I was just on the edge again, and suddenly he wasn’t there.

This time I screamed at the lack of him there, my body shuddering with want, and before I could sit up, he pulled my ass down, into the water. With a yelp, I was suddenly sitting on his lap, the water around my waist, and his hands tight around back, holding me there, straddeling him. He buried his face in my chest, pressing his ear to my heart, slowing his breath.

“Are we just having sex because we fought? Is this just to try and ignore how irritated we are with one another?” He whispered, refusing to let go.

“No,” I laughed breathily back, “No Solas, we’re having sex because we’re two people who love each other very much, just because we had an argument doesn’t mean this is makeup sex… we… talked? Beforehand, sort of.”

I put a hand on either side of his head, and lowered all the way down onto his lap,

his cock pressed between our two stomachs, he inhaled sharply as I did. I pressed his lips to mine, and he returned it eagerly. I reached down between us, similarly to how I had last night, but this time, I lifted my hips, and guided him to press against my cunt. He exhaled through his nose as I pushed myself down onto him, and I had to break the kiss to let out a gasp. 

He filled me so fully, so entirely, that it hurt, stung even, when it was all the way in. I sat there for a moment, just getting used to having him inside me again, it felt like a lifetime ago since we’d done this, when in truth it was only a few nights. Eventually the sting subsided, and I tightened myself around him voluntarily, causing him to groan. I liked that a bit too much, so this time, I brought my hips up slowly, dragging his cock out, before slowly pushing it back in. He made a soft gasping sound as I started to do it rhythmically, my knees shaking as I tried to keep the slow pace, needing to go faster, craving more, but wanting to tease him further. 

He, however, did not seem to have the same restraint. When I’d just gotten up, and was about to go back down, he thrusted violently up into me, using his leverage on my back to pull me down onto him. I let out a scream and he froze.

“Vhenan, ir abelas, I did not mean to hurt you I just- I couldn’t- Vhenan are you alright?” He pulled his hands around to touch at my face, which wasn’t visible to him from behind my hair, his worried voice barely made it to my brain, which was shutting down entirely. 

“Melana, please I’m so sorry, I didn’t think-” I cut him off, wrapping my arms around his neck, and beginning to ride him, slamming my ass down onto him in triple the pace I’d been keeping, and he responded instantly, his hands flying to my waist, trying to keep up with me as I bounced endlessly on him, and he thrusted up into me, meeting me in a strange rhythm in the middle.

After a minute we managed to find a speed that worked for both of us, which was fast, and hard. He slammed into me and I ground into him, the water felt cold compared to how hot we were together, my knees shaking with each movement, my body quivering with how good he felt. I pulled him into a kiss and he returned it, rolling his tongue over mine before I bit down on it, and he groaned, his pace picking up slightly, causing me to have to adjust, but I was close again, and every thrust drew me that much closer.

“Solas-” I gasped in between thrusts, he brushed back the thick locks of hair blocking my face and we made eye contact, and his hips slowed. I hiccuped a cry, “Solas- I love you so much.”

He placed a gentle kiss to my cheek, putting his forehead against mine, holding eye contact as he slowly drove into me. 

“Say it again,” He growled.

“I love you,” I repeated it, my voice jumped as he thrust into me faster. I clung to him as I said it again, and again, and each time I said it he got faster, more erratic, until I moaned, “Ar lath, ma’vhenan’ara.” and he tightened his grip on me, his eyes slammed shut, and he gasped his orgasm into my lips. 

But I wasn’t done, and that was a bit infuriating, I reached down and found my clit, and with the last of my strength, rode out the last of his orgasm to find my own. He thrust into me as best he could as I screamed out a second orgasm. 

 

We slumped into each other, exhausted, entirely spent, and he let out a soft laugh as he brought a hand up to run his fingers through my hair. 

“Was that a good “next time” Vhenan?” He asked, kissing the top of my head.

“Yes,” I replied with what little air was left in my lungs, and he laughed heartily at my response, as though he’d expected something eloquent, well thought out or snarky, but he got flat out and straight forward. Which is what I fully intended to give him from now on. 

 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry I haven't posted in a while but uh.... christmas and stuff kind of shut down my brain, and I only recently got the energy to sit down and ACTUALLY write words good... haha... so Cole! To be honest I couldn't remember the actual place he was at? So from what I could find out he was in the White Spire at some point, so thats just where I decided to do this... Uhhhhh shits going to get super interesting.
> 
> I basically turned him into Anders. 
> 
> Oh and the smut was 2k words all on its own, still small by some standards, but as good as its going to get for now.


	23. Working

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW again near the end

The usual stench and sweat of sex washed away easily in the spring, even though we’d forgotten to bring any sort of soap in our hurry to be together, we spent a good hour just scrubbing down. We needed it, filthy after a full night of sneaking, running, and riding. By the time we returned to camp, we were not only relieved, but clean, and thoroughly exhausted. 

We were reluctant to part with one another when reentering camp, and before breaking out of the forest line, Solas took it upon himself to push me up against a rather large tree, and ravage me once more. 

I wasn’t sure how long we would be able to hide our relationship, and at this point I found no reason to. If Ben knew, then everyone else could as well; I’m sure they were all suspicious of us by now. But I decided not to bring it up, Solas would tell them when he was ready, this wasn’t something I needed to push him on. 

With one last kiss, Solas broke off from me, heading into camp alone. Leaving me to try and catch my breath while also trying to figure out how to cover up the plethora of hickies he just gave me. 

 

The camp was almost entirely broken down, and the road was icy with snow, everyone wearing full armor and furs, bundled to the brim. I found Oliver snuggling up to Varric by the fire, a jelly covered biscuit in his mouth, with his eyes half lidded as he listened to the story Varric was telling him.

“Hey bud,” I said as I sat down on the ground next to him, reaching over and putting an arm around him, pulling him close. “Sleep good?”

He nodded slowly, eyes dazed as he mindlessly chewed on his roll. I looked over to Varric, who closed the book he’d been reading out of, which I didn’t recognize the cover of. 

“He just woke up a bit ago, Lista basically had to get him dressed half asleep.” Varric said, tucking his book into a pouch on his side. “I don’t think he’s really awake yet.”

“No I doubt he’ll be drowsy until we get to Haven.” I sighed, pushing back Oliver’s bangs to kiss his forehead, just as he finished his biscuit. “Sleepy kid.”

“Speaking of sleepy kids,” Varric started, standing up and brushing himself off. “That kid you brought back this morning still hasn’t woken up, Ben had him moved to the cart, but he’s insisting you wake him before we leave.”

I twisted my face into a scowl as I stood up, pulling Oliver with me. He was wearing all of his warmest layers, with his backpack strapped on, his rosy cheeks still pink with sleep. I put his hand in Varric's, who gave me a weird look. 

“Could you take him to Solas for me? I need to go deal with this whole thing before we mount up.” I sighed, hands on my hips. As soon as I wasn’t touching Oliver however, he let out a high pitched whine, and ran to my side, grabbing around my legs. I held my hands up in surprise, looking between him and Varric, who only chuckled.

“Looks like you’re stuck with him.” Varric laughed.

I bent down to Oliver’s level, and tried to make eye contact with him, but he wiggled away each time, he just tried to keep hugging me. 

“Ollie, dude, come on, I need to go deal with this, just-” he held onto me tighter, whining louder, “-jesus, okay! Okay you can come with me! It's fine, yeah!”

 

With Oliver now attached to my hip, I made my way over to the cart, where Ben was already standing. He was leaning on the back of it to be specific, his arms crossed, head lowered in a fierce glare, which didn’t soften as I approached, if anything, it deepened. He turned to face me, glancing at Oliver before looking back to me.

“Explain this Melana, don’t just spout a bunch of words at me and run off, explain this.” He waved his hand towards the inside of our covered wagon, where Cole now lie, fast asleep. He looked far more healthy, like he hadn’t been starving for days in a locked room. I moved closer to the boy, putting a hand on the back of the cart. 

“I… I can explain parts of it, but some of it might not make sense.” I said, not looking away from Cole. Ben slammed his fist on the wood, shaking the wagon, and startling both Oliver and I, but not Cole. 

“Dammit Mel! No! You can’t just do this shit! You can’t just leave in the middle of the night with no explanation, and then come back with-” he motioned to Cole, “-With an abomination!” 

The camp grew quiet, all eyes turning towards our conversation. Olivers grip tightened on me. 

“Ben, don’t start yelling about abominations when Templars are nearby, please,” I replied in hushed tones, reaching out and putting a hand on his arm, which he immediately brushed off. I winced at his attitude towards me, he’d never spoken to me like this before, in fact, I don’t think he’d ever actually been mad at me before.  

“Fine,” I snapped, pushing Oliver behind me. “Fine Ben, you want me to tell you exactly what happened? I will.”

Ben didn’t react, still staring down at Cole with a twisted look on his face.

“A spirit of Compassion came to me in my dreams, and told me that this boy was going to die if I didn’t go back to the White Spire and save him. He told me that the only way to save him was to merge them into one, and of course I didn’t trust him, because I’m not an idiot,” I started, and Ben turned to say something but I held my finger out to stop him, and he listened, knowing that this was my time to speak. “But when I got there, and saw him, and figured out what had been going on there, I knew it was the only thing to do.”

There was a beat of silence where I chewed on the next thing to say, knowing it could make or break our relationship right there, but in the end, decided it was worth saying.

“You know what, I did the right thing, and I don’t care if you, or Solas, think that I was wrong, because I saved him. I saved the boy and I saved the spirit, and if you don’t trust my judgement, then I don’t know why you made my your advisor in the first place.” At that, I stormed off towards my Hart- who was just a few feet back- with Oliver right behind me, letting Ben think to himself for a minute. 

 

I got Oliver situated on my Hart, which woke him right up, happy to be riding again. He seemed to have knack for it, and as soon as he was on, wanted to sprint again. Unfortunately, my mount was far too tired for anything but a slow walk, which was fine, that's all I needed from her today. 

Eventually Ben stopped sulking, and went back to his own mount, getting ready to go, leaving me to wake up Cole. 

Cole was nestled in the back of the cart, pretty much how I’d been the other night, squished between furs and tents. He looked rather content, and not at all demony. Which was a good sign. 

I put my hand to his forehead, and reached out, trying to find his sleeping mind in the fade. It took me quite a while but eventually, with Guards help, I managed to find not only him, but Compassion as well. I tugged gently at the edge of their joint consciousness, guiding them back to the waking world. After a moment, Cole’s eyes fluttered open, and he jolted up, almost hitting his head on my own. 

“Where-” He frantically tried to get out of the cart, but the minute his eyes met mine, he calmed down. “You… you’re the girl who saved me, in the... “

“Hi,” I chuckled, putting a calming hand to his arm, which was thin and weak. “Hey, okay, you’re alright, I’ve got you.”

“I’m… this isn’t the tower?” He licked his lips, slowly calming down, and I nodded. 

“No, this is a caravan, we’re taking you to Haven, a town just outside the breach… you’ll be safe there.” I said, opening the back of the cart to let him out. He swung his legs over the edge and for the first time I realized… he was shackled. The chains shook as he realized this as well, and suddenly he wasn’t as calm as he had been. 

“No!” He shouted, flinching away from me, pulling at his shackles. “No I won’t get dragged to another circle!” 

His eyes lit blue as he cried, and I panicked, grabbing his chains and casting mindlessly into them, and they fell from his wrists, and he watched as they melted in my grip, quietly. 

“I’m not taking you to a circle Cole. You never have to go to a circle again, you’re my responsibility now. Do you understand?” As I spoke I tossed the now charred chains to the snow, and they sizzled away. He studied me a moment, my eyes, ears, then his eyes trailed down, to the wooden arm piece on my wrist, which was wiggling quite happily. 

“You’re… like me… you want to help me… You know who I am better than I do- I don’t- I don’t understand,” He reached up, holding his head between his hands, bending over, his voice straining as he did. “I can hear you, in my head, you’re so scared for me, you need to help me, you- you love me, you’ve always loved me, but we’ve never even met, I don’t understand,”

I reached out, grabbed his hat from its resting place on the side of the cart, and placed it on his head. 

“You can hear my thoughts because of the Compassion spirit inside of you, can’t you?” I asked, adjusting the hat so it sat just right. He nodded. I sighed. “I didn’t anticipate this, I didn’t know that any of this was going to happen, and I’m sorry, but yes. There’s a spirit inside you, and he is a gentle and loving creature, but he’s confused… he needs you to teach him right from wrong… and you need me to guide you in teaching him. Do you… Do you understand that at least?”

A pause… he nodded. 

“Good, I promise I can explain everything else, but right now we need to leave… do you think you can walk?” I asked, but he was already getting down from the cart, his legs wobbling under him as he landed in the mud. 

“And we’re going to… Haven?” He asked, voice unsure. 

“Yes. Today is supposed to be our last day travelling, but the weather is turning sour fast…” I trailed off, staring into the distance at the coming storm, just a few miles off. Cole shut the back of the cart, his hands pink with cold. “Here,” I said, taking off my cloak and wrapping it around him. “You need this more than I do… I’ll see if I can get you some food, something gentle on your stomach.”

He nodded his thanks, and trailed behind me, keeping his head down as I made my way back into what was left of our camp, which at this point was really just the fire, with Sera sitting at it. She didn’t even look up at the two of us, munching away at some leftover breakfast. There was a small bit left in a pot over the fire, the soup they’d apparently had for dinner, rabbit or nug or something. I made up a small bowl for Cole, and told him to eat it slowly, leaving him there for a moment while I went to pack up the rest of my things.

When I came back, he’d finished the soup, and was looking better than I’d ever seen him, an actual full stomach- well as full as you want to feed a starving person- a warm cloak around him, and a friend sitting at his- oh no.

Sera was at his side, telling him a story he was happy to laugh at. Which was probably the funniest thing I’d ever seen, Sera, the one person who was actually afraid of Cole in game, was sitting there… talking to him. Like he was a person. Because, well, now, he was. 

“Cole!” I called as I walked by, not wanting to disturb this strange moment they had, but knowing we had to go. He looked up from Sera to me as I went by. “It’s time to go, come on!” 

“Yes ma’am,” Cole called back, turning back to Sera to say something quietly, before jumping up to hurry after me. He was lanky, that’s for sure, but he wasn’t as skulky as he had been in game, less like a dead man walking and more like the twenty something young man he was. Spry, and alive. “Please don’t start crying,” he said when he caught me staring.

“Sorry, no, wait, Cole,” I laughed to myself, turning towards him, “People are going to get super freaked out if you just read their minds whenever, so you know, maybe don’t tell them most of the time?”

He nodded, before saying, “Compassion… is here, in my mind, I can hear him louder than anyone else, he wants me to help you the most.”

“Maybe don’t tell people about him either.” I said with another laugh, just trying not to think about how ridiculous this was. 

 

We walked over to my Hart, who honked at my presence. Oliver was still sitting atop her, just playing with the reigns, tugging them this way and that, trying to get her to move, but she ignored him. Instead, she dug her hoof into the ground, pawing at it until I stepped closer so she could lick at my cheek.

“She loves you,” Cole said next to me, reaching out to run his fingers over her neck. “You let her run more than the others, you... smell like fruits and nuts.” 

“Yeah that’s my conditioner.” I snorted, rubbing my forehead on her snout. I moved to her side and reached up, taking the reigns from Oliver’s hands. “I’m going to walk along the caravan today, pulling her with, if you want you can find a mount of your own Cole, or walk with me. It's your choice.” 

“I’d like to walk, stretch my legs.” He said, standing to the front of my mount. 

“Not such a bad idea,” Solas’ voice, as he seemed to magically appear next to me, holding the reigns of his own Hart. “Do you mind if I join the two of you?” 

I felt his hand brush mine, and I laced my pinky with his momentarily before letting go, a blush on both our faces.

“Ah,” Cole whispered, looking between us. 

“Of course not,” I cleared my throat, looking away from Solas to smile at Cole. “We’d be happy to have you with us Ser Solas.” 

Solas could barely contain his growing smile as I spoke, clearing his own throat to motion forward, as the caravan began to move, and our last trek to Haven began.

 

I felt like a teenager in love walking side by side with Solas, our hands grazing each other every once in awhile, sending sparks of electricity through my entire body. His touch was magic, even if it was barely there for an instant it left a heat in my stomach that I couldn’t ignore. 

Cole walked with us for the most part, and it was a slow trek, allowing me to get to know the boy further. He was Orlesian, but spoke with a soft and gentle Fereldan accent, a hedge mage that had quite recently been forced into the circle… he wouldn’t talk about his time there, growing quiet whenever the subject slipped to his past. 

“Cole it’s okay,” I said, putting a hand to his shoulder, causing him to flinch. “You don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to.”

He only nodded in response, but our conversations grew quiet after that, mostly due to the fact that the storm was now coming down in full. The snow came down thick and rough, accompanied by intense winds, knocking the canvas roof off our cart, tripping up and scaring the horses… Cassandra yelled over the storm, telling Ben we needed to stop, but he ignored her, instead calling Solas and I to the front of the caravan, along with Cole. I nervously handed the reigns over to Varric, telling Oliver I’d be right back, his ears pink in the cold air as he nodded furiously. 

“Solas!” Ben shouted as the three of us hurried over, running past the cart just as Lista and her brother managed to get the canvas back on. 

“Ben we need to stop!” I yelled up to him as we approached. He ignored me, and instead spoke to Solas.

“Tell me you can do something about this!” He snapped, having to scream over the sound of the wind whipping us all. 

“I can’t fight the weather if that’s what you’re asking!” Solas replied, trying to pull his fur hood back over his head after the wind knocked it off. Cole and I stood behind him, my arm around the boys shoulders to try and keep him from blowing away. 

“Dammit Solas we can’t stop!” Ben shouted back, “I just need a few hours of clear skies, figure it out!” At that, Ben started the caravan back up, and everyone began the march in the snow once again. 

Solas stepped back to the two of us, his teeth chattering as much as Cole’s, he scowled as he reached out to the boys face and drew a fire rune into his cheek, stopping his shivering. 

“What do we do?” I asked, still having to yell over the screams of the wind. Solas scowled at his feet as the cart went by, clearly irritated with his situation. 

“A barrier would be the simplest solution, but even with all three of us, I doubt we’d be able to cover the entire caravan,” Solas replied, doing quick calculations. “Let alone last for two hours! It’s just not feasible!” 

“What about Compassion and Guardian?” I asked, “And I’ve got a lot of stored energy in the foci, could that help?”

Solas seemed to think on it a moment, looking between the two of us, bouncing in spot to try and generate heat, before nodding. 

“Maybe! It’s still not likely, but we can give it a try!” He squat down on the ground and pulled his staff from his back, beckoning the two of us closer. We huddled into a small circle and Solas drew the caravan in the snow, the two horses leading, the two behind them, the wagon, and then the rest of the horses behind them. 

“Melana, you’ve never done a barrier spell of this size before so you’ll have to be in the middle, Cole, you as a spirit and a mage, will be at the back, the secondary anchor for the spell, and I will be at the front,” as he spoke he placed markers in the snow, small rocks to symbolize the three of us. “Use your own mana for as long as you can, I don’t want you to have to rely on your spirits unless absolutely necessary.”

“What about you?” I asked, “Solas you don’t have a spirit companion.”

“Don’t worry about me,” He replied, “I’ll be fine, and if not, Ben will also be at the front, if push comes to shove, Ben will take my place holding the barrier.” 

“We still won't be able to hold it for two hours,” Cole interjected, reaching out to touch the small rock that represented him. “We’ll need the caravan to move faster.”

“But we can’t do that with the roads snowed over like they are.” I said, chewing on my thumb nail as I examined our plan. “Solas what if… could you and Cole hold the barrier on your own, if I gave you my staff?” 

“I suppose, but what are you going to be doing instead?” He asked, picking up my rock and moving his and Cole’s closer together.

“I can run ahead and start clearing the roads with Ben, we can use fire to clean the snow up, giving the caravan a chance to move faster.” I said, picking up a fourth rock to represent Ben, and taking the me rock from Solas, placing us a bit ahead from the caravan. He thought on it for a moment, just as the rear of the actual caravan began to pass us by. 

Finally, he nodded. 

“Do it, but be careful Melana, don’t exert more energy than you have, and, please,” he grabbed my shoulder, pulling me just a bit closer so he could look in my eyes. “Don’t go crazy with the fire, you know you can’t control that area of magic very well.”

“I’ll be fine Solas, I’m more worried about you and the barrier if anything.” I replied, already taking my staff off my back to hand to Solas. He gave me his in exchange, and it was heavy in my hands, heavier than my own, which he noticed right away as well, as he stood up and tested the weight. Mine was made out of more lightweight material, even if I was the stronger of the two of us, I wasn’t used to a heavy staff. He spun mine with ease, but I was lucky to be able to keep his up off the ground. He raised a brow and I waved him off, “I’ll get use to it.” 

I ran over to Oliver, now with our plan decided, and pulled him down from my hart, moving him to the back of the cart, where Varric had already moved.

“Where are you going?” He asked, grabbing onto my sleeve so I couldn’t run off. Varric chuckled, moving Olilver more into his lap and pulling a blanket over the two of them. 

“I have to go make sure we actually get to where we’re going, don’t worry…” I leaned in and kissed his cheek, it was so cold it felt almost wet. “I’ll be fine, stay here with Varric.”

 

Ben wasn’t hard to convince to help, in fact he seemed eager to be off his horse. He called the caravan to a stop so Solas and Cole could get into position, while the two of us started clearing the path. Solas’ staff was still too heavy for me, but we managed to clear the immediate road, Ben was better with the fire than I was, but we ran, side by side, pushing the snow back as we went. Luckily snow melt easily, and soon the caravan started back up, double the speed it had been going, thanks to our quick mage thinking. 

We went on like that for a good half hour, running and melting the snow, trying to stay ahead of the caravan, but eventually, they caught up. The storm only seemed to get worse as we fought it, as soon as we’d cleared the road, the storm would take it back, I could feel my power draining, not only from me, but the constant tether to my staff grew weak as Solas began to pull from it. I didn’t want to pull from Guardian, not yet, not so soon, I knew I had more in me, so I pushed, and I pushed until nothing came out.

I cast again and again but the flames refused to come. I looked behind me, where I could see the glow of the caravan just a few yards off, moving steadily towards us. I looked next to me, where Ben was standing, bent over, hands on his knees as he coughed, wretched even, because he’d ran out of energy long before me. I felt the biting winds on my face, my hair long since frozen, my eyes struggling to stay open...

I took a deep breath, spun Solas’ staff over my shoulders, and I pulled energy from my bracelet. 

He was angry at first, I could tell, that I was using his power for a situation where I wasn’t in immediate danger, but he gave his assistance willingly. Fire spouted from the staff in slow bursts, as that too hot, too angry power pulsed through me. I kept going, running as the power flowed through me, managing to push me another hour, until a voice in the back of my head told me to stop, and I crumbled to the ground, and the world went black.

  
  


“You pushed yourself too hard,” Guardian sighed and for the first time his voice was gentle, almost calm. “Don’t do that again.”

 

Something smelled like home, like fresh cut wood, incense, and… The ocean? I shifted, and found I was no longer in full armor, in fact, I wasn’t wearing much of anything. I moved again, blinking my eyes open, to find the walls of a familiar cabin surrounding me, and a familiar figure sitting at a table across from me, his head buried in a book. 

“Cole?” I sat up, my entire body aching as I did, and Cole jolted up, dropping his book to the table. 

“You’re awake,” he sighed, crossing the room to sit on the side of the bed, making it sink with his weight. “Solas said you suffered a great loss of mana pushing yourself too hard, he didn’t know when you’d wake up.” 

“How long have I been out?” I asked, looking around my cabin now that I was more awake. It was the same as we’d left it, the two chairs sitting around the small wooden table, Solas’ desk, his dresser, a couple of shelves above the table, and the fireplace, burning bright next to he bed. 

“Only a day… You melted the snow almost all the way to haven, we managed to get back an hour after you collapsed… I should go find them, they wanted to know the minute you woke up.” He said, jumping up from the bed, but I grabbed his sleeve, stopping him. 

“Cole, wait,” I sat fully up, adjusting myself. I was wearing Solas’ sweater, his thickest one, with some trousers and leggings, the enchanted ones. “I need to go with you, I have to talk to Ben, and-and Cullen, about you, if I don’t explain then he’ll-”

“Commander Cullen already spoke to me.” He said, eyes on the ground, the brim of his hat hiding his expression. “You… told me not to read people’s minds… that it’s not… polite, but- what he thought!” his tone quickly changed, his fists balling. “He wanted to execute me! He thought I was an abomination! But I’m not! You said I wasn’t and I’m not!” 

I put my hand to his, then without thinking pulled him into a hug, his hat falling to the ground. 

“You’re not an abomination, and if Cullen tries to harm a single hair on your head he’ll have to go through me, okay?” I whispered, holding him tight, his arms hovering above me, like he wasn’t sure if it was okay to hug me back. But slowly, his grip tightened on me, as he embraced me, sniffling into my shoulder. 

“Okay…” He whimpered, muffled in my shirt. He inhaled, and moved back, holding me at arms length. “I need to go get them.”

“Seriously I’m coming with you.” I replied, pushing my legs off the bed. Everything was weak, every part of my body screamed at me to stay in bed, go back to sleep, but I couldn’t, not yet. 

 

The storm was still raging outside, full blizzard mode, you couldn’t see two feet in front of you. It was good we got back before this really hit. Cole and I went, hand in hand, to the Chantry, where they’d moved most everyone without a cabin. The door was heavy, and as soon as we’d opened it, someone was yelling at us to close it. 

“Dammit! Stop letting the cold in boy!” A gruff voice yelled from inside as Cole stepped through, but the room went quiet when he reached out, and pulled me in. 

They’d lined the walls with tents, several groups of people around brasiers, wearing every variation of fur I’d ever seen, people running back and forth with blankets and food, and before the door had even closed, someone was running towards me, arms open. I didn’t really have time to recognize the person, because as soon as I’d realized I was getting rushed, I had arms around me. 

“Mel!” Nira’s voice, barely less than a scream right into my ear as she held me, squeezing me. “They said you were unconscious! They wouldn’t let us see you, thank the creators that you’re okay!”

Tannis was the next person to me, throwing his arms around his sister and I, with Isannan close behind. Cole seemed startled by this entire interaction, taking a few steps back to let me get smothered by people he didn’t know. 

“I’m fine Nira!” I giggled as she started patting me down, checking me for bruises, and she found quite a few, each touch making me flinch away from her. “I’m fine, honestly.”

“Fine my ass,” Isannan mumbled, looking me up and down. 

“Mel you passed out for 26 hours, that’s not ‘Fine’, that’s super not fine.” Nira said, squishing my face between her hands. “You shouldn’t be up yet anyway, go back to bed.” 

“I can’t, I need to talk to the rest of the inner circle, and find Solas.” I sighed, starting to move past them. As much as I’d missed them, and wanted to catch back up, I didn’t know where my brother was, which was a big problem for me. They tried to argue that I stay, but I eventually  wiggled my way out of their grip, telling them I’d come back later. Which I’m unsure was the truth or not.  

Cole guided me to the back room, weaving through all of the makeshift campsites, passing all the glaring eyes, which for once, weren’t aimed at me but my companion. No one seemed happy to see Cole, all sneers and rude whispering, which wasn’t that off from game play, so at least that hadn’t changed. Another thing that remained was the arguing, I could hear it before we’d even reached halfway to the door, Cullen’s voice shouting over everyone else's. Ah yes, good old Cullen. 

“Wait out here Cole,” I said, stepped towards the door.

“Yes please,” He whispered, disappearing into the shadows of the Chantry. 

I pushed inside, and much to my surprise, everyone was in the war room. Everyone in the inner circle, including the brand new Warden Blackwall who was trying to hide in the corner. Cullen and Ben were in some kind of yelling match, shouting back and forth at one another, never letting the other one finish a thought before jumping in. Cassandra, Leliana, and Josephine were all sitting in a corner, with Sera standing next to them, rolling her eyes. Varric was in another corner, asleep, and Solas was leaning with his elbows on the table, his forehead in his hands. I didn’t see the last person at first, but glancing down, I saw Oliver, under the table, flipping through a book, completely ignoring the yelling in the room.

I stepped in silently, and no one seemed to notice me, even as I closed the door behind me, the only person looking at me was Sera, who seemed indifferent to my arrival. 

“Uh…” I muttered, stepping further into the room.

“No Cullen! It’s absolutely ridiculous that you would think I’d want you to-”

“I didn’t think you wanted anything! I acted as any Commander would when left in charge! I dealt with the-”

“Oh yes you dealt with it indeed! Executing people while I’m away is not how you deal with things Commander Cullen!”

“And who exactly put you in charge!? Just because you have the anchor on your hand-”

“ENOUGH!!” Solas’ voice cut through as he slammed both fists on the table, interrupting the almost violent argument Cullen and Ben were in, sending everyone flinching back. His head flew up, eyes locking with mine, and all tension in his body fell away. “Mel,” he whispered. 

He was on me in an instant, leaping over the war table with one arm, and landing gently in front of me. 

“Solas- whoa I-” He grabbed my waist before I could properly say hello, and pulled me against him in a rather rough hug. The room was quiet as he held me there, exhaling into my hair, one hand on the small of my back, the other holding my head in place. 

“Don’t ever, ever, do that again Melana,” He said, so quiet it was barely a whisper in my ear. 

“I’m sorry,” I replied, “I didn’t mean to.” I looked over Solas’ shoulder to the rest of the people in the room, who, except for Blackwall, had all reacted in some way. Ben was already almost to me, his face wrought with worry. Sera seemed slightly more interested now, as did all the other women in the room, and Varric had woken up. I couldn’t see Oliver. Cullen looked… happy to see me?

Solas shifted back from me, just enough so he could look down into my eyes, and for a moment I thought he was going to kiss me, that was certainly the look he usually gave me before it was smooch time, but no. He brushed some hair back from my face, and let out a shaky breath before taking a step back, allowing Ben sweep me into a hug so big it lifted me off the ground.

“Thank the Maker you’re here,” He mumbled, kissing my cheek before setting me down. “Mel I am so sorry I forced you to push yourself like that, I don’t know what came over me, I promise, I’ll never put you in that position again.”

“We’re lucky you did push her, reports say this storm is just starting, it’s going to last at least four more days. If you hadn’t gotten back when you did, you may have been stranded.” Cullen said, studying my face. “You did well Melana, I’m sorry for…” his voice trailed off, and whatever apology he had was lost to both of us, but I nodded my thanks either way. 

“So, what’s going on, what have I missed?” I asked, stepping away from Ben and towards the table, which was covered in reports and crumpled up pieces of paper. Warden Blackwall approached the table, his fists tightening and loosening at his sides, my eyes slipped from the table to him, scanning him. 

“Warden Blackwall, My Lady,” He said, making a short bow. 

“No need for titles Warden, I don’t actually have one anyway. Call me Melana, Ben told me he’d sent recruiters to find you, I’m glad you got here safely.” I said, bowing back to him. 

“Got here, yes, safely… not exactly.” 

“Oh?”

“Yes, Melana,” He said it like saying someone's actual name was an alien concept to him. “A rift opened on the road from the Hinterlands, the group I was with managed to get away but I fear the rift itself may still be a problem.” 

“... Ah… yes… that’s… uhm…” I trailed off, staring down at the table now. “Well we can’t exactly to anything about it presently… not without risking our own lives just trying to get there… but as soon as the storm clears up, Ben, you’ll be on it?”

“Yes, I was thinking we could change my route to the Storm Coast, travel slightly through the Hinterlands instead of going around them, that way I can deal with the rift, and any others I run into on my way.” Ben said, stepping to my right by the table. Cullen started to pick up some papers, making a stack of them to the side. 

“In the meantime,” Josie said, approaching the table, clipboard in hand. “We need more supplies, this storm has virtually cornered us, we didn’t have enough food to begin with, and now, all of our people are trapped.”

“We need hunters.” I said quietly. “Hunters that know how to track and trap in a storm.”

“The Dalish maybe?” Cullen interjected, picking up the last paper and moving it to his stack.

“That’s not a bad idea, Nira, Tannis and Isannan, they’re all Dalish, sort of, Nira at least was raised in the wilderness… see if she can put together a competent group of people who aren’t afraid of a little snow. For now, ration what we have, and just for the sake of not getting snowed in, we need to try and maintain a pathway out, have some mages try and melt the snow that’s already falling, it’s stacked above our waists already,” I said, just as Oliver grabbed onto my leg under the table and pulled on my pants. 

“As much as I want to do that, they’ll blow away in this weather,” Ben replied, knocking over a piece on the table as if to represent our mages. But I think that piece was for the Hinterlands. 

“Tether them,” I said simply, “Just tie them to something, a post or wall. We’ll be stuck in longer if we can’t keep pathways cleared.” 

Ben hummed, and Josie wrote something down, and that seemed to be the only response to my proposal. 

“Anything else?” I asked, almost sighing.

“Yes… actually, we need to discuss the boy.” Cullen said, and I went tense. I did not want to talk about Cole, not with him, not with anyone else in this room. I wanted to run and hide, momentarily ashamed of my decision to bring Cole on early. 

“Indeed, I was wondering when this would get brought up,” Cassandra said, approaching the table now as well. Everyone made some sort of sound of agreement, the entire inner circle now standing around the table, save Cole who was off hiding somewhere, probably listening in. Sweat dripped down my back as Ben began talking again.

“We know that this is important to you Melana, finding your brother again after so long, and I swear that this mess with slavers in Orlais will get sorted out as soon as possible,” Ben said, motioning to Oliver who was still hanging on my leg under the table. I tried to hide my relief, which was great, that we were talking about Oliver and not Cole.

“Yes as soon as I heard I notified my contacts in Val Royeaux, with luck, they’ll be run out by the end of the month,” Leliana said with a sinister look on her face. “I fought with the Hero of Ferelden to clear Denerim of slavers, it seems to be a hobby of mine.” She added with a chuckle. 

“I’m glad to hear it,” I said, reaching down to pat Oliver on the head. “I know that the Inquisition isn’t the best place for a child, but there’s nowhere else for him to go.”

“We wouldn’t think of sending him away,” Josie said, “In fact if you’ll let me, I believe I could set him up with an excellent tutor, and there’s many other children in Haven, he’s probably not the only one who needs a proper education!”

“Are you suggesting openning a school?” I asked with a bit of a chuckle. 

“Something of that kind, but perhaps just classes for now, reading and writing, of course; the basics. Oh but when we get to Skyhold! Then I can really set up a school.” She said, clapping at the end of it, so very excited. 

“Wait a minute,” I laughed, now taking in everything she’d said. “I’m sorry, Skyhold?”

“Yes,” Solas said, taking the spot to my left, “In my journeys into the fade I have managed to find an unoccupied castle, not terribly far from here, in the mountains. I believe it will suit us perfectly.” 

I swallowed, we’d barely talked about Skyhold, in fact I’d only really mentioned it once, maybe, I had no idea he’d actually recommend we move there.  

“That’s amazing,” I said, trying to act surprised. “I can’t believe it, when will we be moving the forces?” 

Cullen picked up a place marker, moving it to Skyhold’s approximate location. 

“We’d intended to start slowly moving troops there throughout our meeting’s with the Templars and Mages, but the scouts are set to leave as soon as the storm clears.” He reported, reading from a piece of paper in front of him, one of many from his stack. “But again, the reports say we’ll be trapped for up to four days. No one’s going anywhere for now.”

  
  


Oliver made fast friends with the other children in the Inquisition, which there were several of. A pair of Elven twins, both boys, who were blonde and silly, and would run circles around Oliver. Their mother; a city elf woman who worked in the kitchens, was more than happy that they had a new elf friend to play with, she said something to me about there not being enough elves in the Inquisition, and then got all sad, so we didn’t talk much. There were a large gaggle of human children, several girls and a handful of boys, a range of ages, who were also happy to have a new friend. The children were all herded into one corner of the Chantry, where Josie spent the rest of the morning “teaching” them. It was mostly just games, they barely listened.

That afternoon, Solas and I went back to the cabin, and spent a good hour just going over my bruises with a salve, which instantly healed them, and touching up some of the worse ones with a bit of his healing magic. He chastised me again for being so careless, but I caught him hiding his own bruises, from his own exertion, and then it was my turn to chastise. We ended up curled around each other in bed, taking a short nap to try and ease away the exhaustion.

After another hour of napping, we headed back to the Chantry, and low and behold, Nira had found a good sized group of Dalish- or wilderness raised- people who knew how to hunt in the snow. We sent them out with a mage so they could keep in contact and return on short notice, and they were off. 

Dinner was small, which wasn’t that surprising, a chicken broth that was mostly broth, and a thin slice of bread. Oliver complained that he was still hungry and I promised that he would have a much bigger meal soon… hopefully. 

We put Oliver in the side room that I’d originally slept in, and got a third chair put in the cabin. When I pulled out the Ipad and turned a movie on for him, he basically cried for an hour, before actually going into his room and watching the damn thing. He fell asleep like that, curled up around the ipad, with a smile on his face. 

 

“Is he asleep?” Solas asked as I closed his bedroom door behind me. Solas was sitting on the bed, his chest exposed under his loose long sleeved shirt, wearing a pair of tight fitting pants with a blanket hanging around his shoulders. The fire was burning brightly, the only sound in the room as I made my way over to him was the light crackling of our main heat source, other than the hundred heating runes written on the walls of the cabin to keep the cold out. 

“Fast asleep,” I reported, running my hands through my hair before picking up my brush off the table to try and get some knots out. “I was surprised today, by a number of things.”

“Oh?” He asked, beckoning me over to the bed. I strolled over and sat in front of him, handing him the brush, allowing him to start pulling out multiple tangles.

“No one brought up Cole, for one, I figured he’d be a big topic.” I started, wincing as he tugged on a rather stubborn knot. 

“Yes, he was yesterday, but while they were arguing over what to do with him… He made them all forget he was a problem. It was rather fascinating.” He hummed. “He’s handling everything quite well actually.”

“He made them forget? I wasn’t even sure if he could do that anymore.” I scoffed, stretching my toes out in front of me, the heat of the fire making my entire right side warm. “Secondly… Skyhold?”

“Yes I… I thought it would be for the best if we started moving as soon as possible, and you know, if you want to lie about something, just say “the fade” and shemlens eyes glaze over, it’s quite convenient,” He chuckled, and I couldn’t tell if he was joking or not. “There,” he finished, putting the brush to the side, running his fingers easily through my hair.

“Well I’m glad you did, I was nervous about having that conversation with you, I’m glad I don’t have to convince you of anything tonight.” I replied, standing up and turning towards him, sliding onto his lap, pushing the blanket away. I straddled him as I had in the pool, laying my arms over his shoulders. He smiled, putting his hands on my hips, scooting forward a bit. “But then again… the night is young.”

“You’re still weak,” He said, though his actions betrayed his words, his mouth already finding its way to my neck. “We shouldn’t.”

“Mmm,” I hummed, not making any hint of moving away. He planted lazy kisses to my clavicle before dragging his lips up to meet mine in a long, gentle kiss. 

“We shouldn’t…” He repeated, whispered it under his breath. He squeezed my sides, pulling me closer. “Oliver might wake up…”

“You’ll have to be quiet then,” I chuckled, pushing my lips past his to bite on his earlobe, making his grip tighten on me as he hissed, and I added: “If you think you can.” 

“Ah Vhenan, I believe you are the louder one.” He chuckled, his hands wiggling up my-his sweater, finding their way to my bra. 

“Perhaps that’s just for your benefit,” I replied as he fumbled with the straps. He made a soft chuckle as his response, rolling his eyes as he felt the bra loosen around me, knowing he’d done his job there. I helped him the rest of the way, letting him guide the shirt up over my head, and shortly after letting the bra fall to the ground. I stood up and wiggled out of my pants, but left the foot wraps on, it was far too cold for that. He pulled his own shirt off just as I shivered my way back into the blankets. He jumped off the bed to wiggle his pants off before diving in after me, the two of us laughing like idiots as we cuddled together, our cold bodies quickly heating up. 

“The fire’s still going,” I whispered, my hands squished between his chest and mine, trying to warm up. He reached behind him, and with a wave of his hand, the flames died. “That’s still so cool.” I giggled.

He rolled his eyes and tossed the blanket up, rolling on top of me, pinning me under him. I giggled, trying to break free, but he was in attack mode, and I was trapped. He dove down, planting kisses and suckling hickies along my neckline, until he started heading down again, and I shortly stopped him. 

“You- hey, stinker, dammit,” I grabbed his shoulders and pulled him back up. “As much as I love you doing that thing you do with your tongue-” he made a smug face, “Shut up- I actually… enjoy doing you, so… my turn.” 

My face was bright red, I knew it was, that was probably the most awkward way I could have chosen to say “I want to suck your dick please and thank you”. He only smirked and moved off of me, rolling to the side to allow me proper access. He put his arms behind his head, watching me move on top of him. He made another smug face and I slapped his chest.

“I could totally not do this, don’t be an ass.” I said, a smile still on my face. He lowered his arms back down to his sides, one hand sliding to rest on my thigh. I reached up, grabbed a fistfull of my hair.

“This is dumb, now I’m all self conscious and-”

“Melana,” He whispered, his icy blue eyes meeting mine, glowing in the darkness. His leg shifted under me, and I could feel his hardness rubbing against my rear. Smiling he said, “I’m not fighting back here.” 

I was struck for a moment, his face illuminated solely by the brightness of his own eyes, my mouth slightly open, my fist still lightly tugging on my hair, his hand on my leg, his thumb drawing a pattern there… His blush deepened, and he looked around anxiously. 

“Now I’m getting self conscious Vhenan.” He chuckled, his nose crinkling as he smiled wide.

“Ah! Sorry, you’re just… Fuck you’re just so pretty…” I whispered, crawling down. “Everytime I look at you I swear time stops, you’re the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.”

His eyes were wide open, something akin to shock at my words was plastered across his face, along with that still there bright red blush as he watched me trail my way down, until I was laying between his legs, his cock standing straight up, right in front of my face, but I was still looking at him

“Seriously Solas it's… it's not fair, you’re just… gorgeous.” I laughed, and he swallowed, having to look away from me so the blush didn’t consume his face. I scooted closer, and he flinched as I blew against the base of his cock, his legs moving back a bit to adjust to my being so close. I wiggled my left arm under his leg, knowing it was rather useless other than to hold me up. Slowly, tentatively, I brought my tongue to the base of his cock, not unlike what I’d done once before, teasing him gently all the way up to the top, lapping the head of his cock, making him twitch and shake with every lick. 

I flattened my tongue against him, drawing it up to the head before sucking it into my mouth, driving him all the way down into my throat, until I couldn’t break. He let out a gasp as I did, his right hand flying up to grab at my hair as his initial reaction, before moving the downed hair to the side so he could watch. I drew my mouth up, bringing my own right hand into play, grabbing the base which was now slick with my saliva, and pulling it up along with my mouth, letting go with a pop sound. 

I pumped his cock once, twice, three times, before sticking my tongue out at him, then immediately put his cock back where it belonged: My mouth. I was fast with him this time, my fist and mouth working quick, pulling moans and swears from his lips as I slowly undid him. I found a rhythm that made his toes curl, and I stuck to it, even as my eyes watered, I kept the pace, until his grip tightened on my hair, and he started telling me to stop, then, I picked up the pace, ignoring him. 

He spilled into the back of my throat, his head tossed back as he tried to contain his cry, one hand pulling on my hair, the other almost ripping the sheets. I swallowed, making sure to suckle him once more, a string of curses escaping his lips, before I pulled away, feeling satisfied. 

He was limp, body and cock, lying there, unable to move, just processing what had happened, before his head slowly rose, and he sat up, his legs crossing. 

“Melana…” He started, eyes still closed, breathing still heavy.

“Yes Vhenan?” I asked, my voice sweet, jaw tired. 

He reached forward, practically diving for me, and I squeaked, I would have squealed, but I didn’t want to wake Oliver. His arms wrapped around my waist, his face burying between my breasts as he pushed me down onto the bed, his legs flailing behind him as he pinned me once again. 

“Solas!” I giggled, trying to wiggle away as he held me there.

“No, you’ve brought this upon yourself, I’m an old man, I’m very tired now unfortunately, it’s time to go to sleep now, too bad for my young Vhenan, who will not be enjoying herself tonight,” He mumbled into my chest, somehow holding me still even as I struggled to get away.

“You- let go oh my god,” I said, still laughing, being as quiet as possible. “This is the attitude of someone who doesn’t want mind blowing head ever again!”

He hummed a moment, the two of us lying there silently, until he groaned, and started wiggling down. 

“Oh does the old man have more energy in him?” I sniggered as he glared up at me, grabbing my hips to adjust me to his liking. He pulled my legs open, guiding one leg over his shoulder, back to its designated spot, before bending down to place kisses inside the softest part of my thigh. A heavy breath escaped my lips as he kissed slowly up my leg, until he kissed just where leg meets crotch… My grip tightened on the blankets under me as his tongue licked along my folds, barely touching my clit, before sliding back down, and slipping inside me. 

It wasn’t a sensation I’d ever felt before, his tongue entering me, or any tongue for that matter. It was, dexterous, to say the very least, not as thick as a cock, but wiggly, and fun for sure. He dug his tongue inside me for only a moment, getting a good feel of my walls as the tightened automatically around him, before pulling out, and moving back to his favorite little pleasure center. Not to say it’s not mine as well, we have a very intimate relationship, my clit and I. 

Solas was gentle, rolling his tongue over my clit slowly, before dragging it around in small circles, keeping a snails pace as he did. I brought a hand up to cover my mouth just as a moan escaped, and he looked up, his eyes meeting mine. For a moment I thought he might stop has he had before when I didn’t allow my sounds to meet his ears, but he persisted, hold eye contact as he brought his free hand over, placing his thumb outside my entrance. 

He was doing this on purpose, being far too gentle and slow as he teased my cunt, his tongue making the lightest touches possible before violently assaulting my clit, driving me ever closer to the edge of an orgasm before pulling back, my body shaking as I fought off the need to come. He sucked my clit into his mouth and my back arched, having to bite down on my hand to prevent the screams that wanted to come out as my entire being sang out in pleasure. But again he pulled back, not allowing my release. 

“Solas-you are being-” I had to breath heavily to even try and speak, and he still stared up at me, his eyes devilish in the darkness. “An ass,” I finished and he smirked, scooting up, planting a kiss on my stomach as he went. 

He slid his arms under mine, laying down atop me and just holding me there a moment. He was hard again, his arousal rubbing against my leg, but he seemed content for the time being, just laying on top of me. 

“You’re the one who is beautiful,” He sighed, his face hidden from my view. I reached down, touching gentle fingertips on his back, drawing circles, making him shudder. “I do not deserve your attention.” 

“Stop that,” I replied pushing him up with my knees, he obeyed, propping up on his elbows so that he was hovering over me, looking down in my eyes. “Solas you’re amazing. You’re strong and smart, and gods you are so witty, and just damn cute.” 

I pulled his face close down to mine, planting a long, slow kiss on his lips, which he returned happily.

“We don’t have to have sex,” I said, pulling him back down on top of me. He made an “Oof” sound as I did. “We can just cuddle.”

“Oh no I’d rather enjoy having sex,” He sighed, causing me to snort a laugh. “It seems this old man has a few more rounds in him.” 

“Oh god a few more rounds? Solas. One round, maybe.” I chuckled, wiggling down until his cock brushed against my inner thigh. 

“Ah-” He exhaled, his next snarky comment lost to him as I reached down, grasping his cock and placing it outside my already dripping wet entrance. I guided him in, and he followed, slowly sinking into me, until he was filling me to the brim. He seemed more rigid than before, but maybe it was just like that every time, that strange sharp pain that came with him entering me at the start. 

“Don’t be gentle,” Were the last words I said that were even slightly coherent, because he immediately started driving into me with such purpose that my brain stopped working. He sat up on his knees, his thumb on my clit as he pounded me into the bed, his other hand on my ass, my left leg propped up over his elbow, both of my own hands clamped over my mouth to try to muffle the sounds I was making. His eyes were closed as he concentrated on his rhythm, rubbing my clit erratically, at first, not being able to keep pace with his cock, so I reached down, and at first I simply guided his thumb, but then I was doing all of the clit work, knowing it better than him. 

He quickly found just the right angle, lifting my ass up just a bit more to get that perfect spot deep inside that he almost always managed to find. The bed underneath us shook, and I thought maybe it would give out, not used to this kind of activity, but no, it just creaked and groaned, the damn thing was louder than Solas and I. It was exhilarating, having to stay quiet, the fear of getting caught, the room was next to dead silent from any other point of view but in our little bubble… My heart beat was like thunder, every hiss or moan from him was like a symphony, the slapping sound of his pelvis against me was impossibly loud, adding to the arousal. 

I squeaked a string of vowels that may have been words, and Solas took them as encouragement for that thing he had just done, which was exactly the thing he needed to be doing with his hips, rocking into me with such force it pushed me right to the edge, and with a few more thrusts, and a few more strokes of my clit, I was throwing my head back in an earth shattering orgasm. Everything tensed, all of my senses going wild as he kept thrusting on just that right spot. 

“Vhenan-” He gasped, bending over me, our foreheads touching, eyes locked as his thrusts started getting less rhythmic and more violent. “Melana I- Fuck-” 

“Solas- Come inside me, please-” I moaned, hooking my knee around his ass, driving him further inside. He groaned, burying his face in my shoulder, suckling into me to try and muffle his voice as he thrust once, twice, then a slow third time, as he spilled inside me. I almost came again just from that, the sensation of him twitching inside me, emptying into me… 

We laid there for a minute, trying to catch our breath, before he rolled off and out of me, his hand travelling down to my stomach, and drawing a small sigil there. 

“What’s that?” I asked, looking down at the blue glowing light before it sunk into my skin.

“That is so you don’t get pregnant…” He exhaled, sitting up and grabbing the blankets, pulling them up over us. “I’ve done it every time, you haven’t noticed?”

“I’m usually pretty dazed afterwards.” I chuckled, rolling away from him and pulling his arm over me, kissing his fingers. I liked being the little spoon. 

“Yes well, as much as I enjoy finishing inside you… A child is not a smart idea right now.” He sighed, scooting one of his knees under mine, intertwining our legs. 

I hummed my response, already far too exhausted, part of me regretted not getting up to put more clothes on, but Solas’ body heat was quickly more than I could handle, and I wiggled my toes outside the side of the blanket. We snuggled our way into the fade, and dreamt of the trials yet to come. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another 10k words, and guess what, This sunday, the 29th of January, is my 21st birthday! Yaaaay me. Anyway, I wrote most of this in a hammock with like four blankets on me, it was a spiritual experience. 
> 
> I have a drawing to go along with this chapter! Check it here: http://masmkasm.tumblr.com/post/156379344317/uh-so-i-have-no-excuses-check-out-this-smut
> 
> And hey, if you're not already, you should follow me on tumblr, I post about my writing process pretty often actually! Plus if you have any questions about... anything... go ahead and ask away!
> 
> See you guys next week!


	24. Snowing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so, I know this took like a month, but I promise the next one wont take nearly as long, I honestly have been so busy with work, and... mass effect, that I just haven't had the time to write, but work is slowing down now that we're heading into summer, and I've put aside time to actually write! Yaaay! So just, uh, just a short chapter for right now, but the next one should be... longer????

I slept more soundly than I had any of my nights in Thedas, Solas’ bed was cozy and he clung to me the entire night, making me all the warmer. The only time I woke was when Oliver got too cold, and crawled into bed with us, becoming the smallest spoon in my arms. Other than that, I was like a log, unconscious and happy to be so.

When we woke that first morning, the storm had turned into very light winds and snow, but it still took Solas and I a few hours just to melt away the snow that had formed outside our door. Breakfast was whatever we had in the cabin, some dried meat and a few almost not good fruits. We made our way back to the Chantry, basically delivering Oliver to the gaggle of children, though he was nervous to be alone with them at first. With that out of the way, Solas and I headed to the War Room, but were cut off by a worried mage, who didn’t think they had enough manpower to clean out the rest of the snow before it started coming down heavily again. So Solas went to help, leaving me to the War Room alone.

No one else had made it in yet, so I spent some time simply studying the reports from the last week: everything that had happened while I’d been gone. The argument Cullen and Ben had been in yesterday was apparently about the men who had attacked me, which, while in charge, Cullen had executed. Which was… surprising, to say the least. When they’d spoken of execution I’d assumed he’d killed some poor mages, not the men he’d basically claimed were more important than me.

There had been one or two messages about rifts in the Hinterlands that had yet to be closed, and several reports of bandit activity around the Storm Coast. I spent a good hour just sitting, reading, and eventually, eating a lunch someone brought me, before Cullen came into the War Room around noon.

He wasn’t wearing full armor, which was strange, but it was the first thing I noticed. His hair was everywhere, a curly mop he hadn’t yet dealt with, and the bags under his eyes were purple to accompany his unshaven face. He stumbled into the room carrying more reports, papers flying out of his grip as he nearly tripped over the door. I sat my tea down, not getting up to help him.

“Good to see you Commander,” I said, leaning on my elbows to watch him try and pick up everything he’d just dropped. “I was wondering if you’d be showing up at some point.”

“Yes I was just trying to… nevermind that,” He sighed, standing up and kicking the door closed behind him. He shuffled awkwardly over to the table, dropping his stack of papers onto the map, covering several of the reports I hadn’t gotten to yet. He ran a hand over his stubble, “These arrived this morning during the break in the storm, twenty more reports of rifts, twelve bandit attacks in the Hinterlands alone, not to mention all of the requests for reinforcements, letters from delegates, and the Chantry once again demanding that the Herald be turned over to them…”

I reached forward, pulling one letter from the top.

“This smells like peaches,” I scoffed, turning it over and reading it allowed. “To the Commander of the Inquisition, from the Duke of… What does this even say?”

“I don’t know some Orlesian town or something,” Cullen groaned, pulling a chair over from the corner to slump into it. “I haven’t slept in days, everything here has been just… Insane.”

“Yes I read the execution orders this morning… I can’t say I disapprove, but I’m curious about your motive.” I opened the letter, and the smell of peaches quickly became a stench, something that I could barely stand without coughing. I unfolded the letter and read it silently, awaiting Cullen’s response. It was an invitation, for Ben, not Cullen, to attend a party in a week in Orlais. I rolled my eyes and put it to the side, deciding to sort this mess into Cullen, Josie, and Leliana piles. That one went in the Josie pile.

“They attempted to escape, thinking my guard was down while you were away, and in their attempt, they assaulted another elf, so I took initiative and put them down.” He said, not looking up at me from the stack of papers. He reached forward and pulled out a letter as well. “I shouldn’t have acted so… cruelly to you, I apologize. I must admit you’ve given us sound council during your time here, and clearly Ben has some kind of affections for you…”

“It’s alright Cullen, I… I knew someone from the Kirkwall tower, as well as the Circle in Kinloch Hold… and I’m sorry. For everything mages have put you through, I know it must be hard, just being in the same room as one.” I stared at the letter in front of me, not really knowing how to say any of the things that were just pouring from my mouth. Cullen was a character I’d always loved, the torment of him, everything he’d been through and yet still managed to achieve... He was a very interesting person.

“I… thank you.” He said after a long time, relaxing his shoulders slightly as he did. He seemed calmer, and we spent some time chatting idly about everything that was going on in the immediate area, and he helped me sort the letters. He was worried about my team going to meet the Templars, and suggested he accompany us, but I assured him that we would be fine, one advisor leaving was bad enough. He showed me where our main troops were once we’d finished sorting and the map was clear. We were currently spread rather thin; just trying to work on recruitment and holding areas, though the bulk of our army was situated in the Hinterlands, which for now wasn’t the worst thing.

“The storm isn’t hitting them as hard as it’s hitting us,” He explained, “Less mouths for us to worry about feeding.”

“How are the hunting parties doing?” I asked, pulling a chair up next to him, ready to be sitting again.

“We’ve heard good things, several Ram have been caught, along with nugs, it seems not all animals have hidden away from the storm, with luck, we’ll survive the next few days.” He said, rubbing his temples. He was utterly exhausted, plagued by lyrium fueled nightmares.

“Cullen if you’re not sleeping well, Solas could probably help, evil as you think magic may be, it has many uses.” I said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

He flinched at the sudden contact, as is expected from someone who I’d probably never touched before.

“I… thank you, but no, I’m sure it’s nothing…” He sighed, nodding his thanks all the same, before looking back down to his papers and clearing his throat. “I was hoping on your return we could resume your physical training, but with the weather being what it is… that seems impossible.”

I hummed, walking past him towards the war room doors, thinking that perhaps my not being able to work out wasn’t the worst thing in the world. I opened one door and peered out into the hall, and caught the eye of Ben, who was talking to a scout, and getting more reports shoveled onto him. He looked desperate.

“We’ll figure something out,” I mumbled to Cullen as I stepped through the doorway and rushed over to Ben, immediately taking a hand full of papers from his ever growing pile.

“Mel! Thank the Maker, ah- tell Josephine I’ll be with her momentarily,” Ben snapped at the scout before turning to me, and absolutely dumping his massive pile of missives into my arms. “I have to go meet with some idiot who claims to own this land, I swear I didn’t make it two feet in the door without someone shoving another piece of paper in my face, can you handle these for a bit?”

“Oh, uhh, I guess? How long are you going to be?” I grumbled, struggling to keep the papers in an orderly manner.

“No more than an hour… unless she’s got something else for me to- No, it doesn’t matter, I won’t leave you stranded with paperwork for more than an hour, just ah, just don’t run off?” He gently grabbed my shoulders and rubbed them awkwardly for a moment, waiting for me to respond, I only had to nod and he was running off to Josie’s room, eager to be done with all of this.

It seemed I was tasked with doing most of the garbage work, and spent the next few hours with Cullen, reading seemingly endless reports of snow, snow, and more snow. Ben did come back after an hour, but was quickly whisked away by Leliana, who claimed she had something important for him to look at. So Cullen and I sat, reading the stack of papers Ben had given us, mostly complaints from dignitaries, one or two in languages I didn’t really understand, but one letter in particular caught my eye.

It was in elven.

“What’s that one say then?” Cullen sighed from his chair a few feet away from mine when he noticed me lingering on one for longer than normal. “Something offensive and mildly creative like the last dozen?”

“No, I… I’m not sure. It’s in elven.” I replied, rubbing my temples and setting the letter in my lap. “I’ll ask Solas about it tonight.”

“Ah yes, our resident elven expert.” Cullen said with a slight smile to his tone. “How is it? Living with him now that your brother is in the mix?”

“Fine, Oliver and I are sleeping in the larger bed and Solas has taken to the side room, though he did mention joining us tonight, apparently he was rather cold.” I spoke flatly, responding quick and to the point as I resumed reading letters about snow and ice and icey snow.

“And… Benjamin is comfortable with this?” Cullen asked, still staring up at me over his work, an eyebrow raised.

“If he’s not, I haven’t heard otherwise, he doesn’t regularly voice his opinion on my sleeping partners.” I sighed, my eyes glazing over another Orlesian letter, barely able to make out a few broken words. If all of these assholes would stop writing in cursive maybe I’d be able to make heads or tails of their requests.

“Ah- well I just thought since you two were,” Cullen cleared his throat, and I looked up. “So close, perhaps he’d prefer it if you were not so… So close, with Solas.”

I raised a brow, frowning at Cullen, not entirely grasping what he was trying to say, until I noticed the strange blush to his cheeks, the awkward twitch of his eyes as he tried to avoid mine…

“Benjamin and I are not a couple, if that’s what you’re thinking. We’re good friends, nothing more.” I hummed, looking back down to my work. Cullen quickly grew quiet after that, perhaps embarrassed by his assumption of our relationship. But maybe everyone thought this way? It was surely possible, even Solas had thought Ben and I were so deeply in love that I would forget all about him. More to the point, that's probably what people thought the reason was behind my being an advisor. Oh she’s sleeping with the Herald, so she gets some good perks.

… Yeah I’d need to clear that up at some point.

Evening came some time later, it was hard to tell shoved in that back room with your face buried in paperwork, but someone brought us dinner, and wine, which was apparently the signal for nightfall. I had one of our guards take the proper paperwork to where it needed to go, and tucked the elven letter in my satchel, before heading back to my room for the night.

The Chantry was quiet, people already asleep, or getting there, were lining the walls on cots, a few tents set up hiding away families who were putting their children down. The front door opened slightly to let in a chill breeze, along with the mages who had been working hard all day. They looked entirely drained, exhausted of all power and strength, shuffling into the room and immediately collapsing on their bedrolls, not even bothering to shed the wet, snow covered fur strapped to them. Solas was not among them.

I made a quick right into Josie’s office, barely cracking the door open to peer inside, and saw an interesting sight. She was asleep at her desk, head hanging forward, arms wrapped around the small child in her lap, who was curled up in her arms, hands tangled in her hair that had fallen down, fast asleep as well. I gently pushed the door the rest of the way open and stepped inside, Josie didn’t react.

I crossed the room and put a hand to her shoulder, still nothing, save her soft breathing.

I suppressed a laugh as I reached into her arms and ever so slowly, lifted Oliver out of them. He tensed, his face twisting in irritation as I moved him, his hands flying up to grip at something, anything, and I guided his hand to my own hair, which had been down most the day. He happily gripped it firmly, humming as he settled onto my hip.

Josie slumped, the thing she was leaning on now gone, she threatened to fall directly onto the table, where still wet ink lined a piece of parchment. I slowly, with my free hand, moved everything away from where she would lay her head, and onto nearby surfaces. By the time I’d gotten everything dangerous of the desk, she’d fully laid her head down, cradling herself with her arms, and smiling, fast asleep.

Carrying Oliver, I made my way back out of Josie’s room, closing the door behind me, turning around and then, promptly stepping in bucket full of ice cold water, I let out a string of hushed curses. Oliver stirred, but didn’t wake, as I attempted to shake my foot out of the bucket, but somehow, only made things worse, spilling the water out, and dumping it all over a nearby sleeping person. Who was not happy, and was very loud. Neither of us knew how the bucket had gotten there, and it most assuredly hadn’t been there when I’d walked in.

But that was just the beginning of our bad luck.

 

The week progressed in a similar rhythm, Solas would clear the snow, I would help in the Chantry, and Oliver would go to his classes with Josie, who was quickly becoming very attached to him. Ben and I spent time replying to the intense amount of letters we’d received, and I learned a bit more orlesian in the process. Ben was far from fluent, but Leliana was happy to teach us. Leliana also had some… interesting ideas about my lack in exercise. So on the second day of being snowed in, Cassandra, Varric, and Sera, met me in the dungeons, and ran me through an intense workout that mainly consisted of Sera and Cass showing off, and Varric sitting and laughing at my inability to lift heavy objects.

At first, this routine was fine, but everyone was oddly… tense. The people of Haven seemed to be in a constant state of arguing with one another, a fight breaking out every few hours, rations disappearing, more people stepping in buckets, raw fish appearing in people's beds… So slowly everyone became more and more irritated with one another.

Nira got blamed for stealing rations, and had I not come to her defense, may have been thrown out to deal with the forces of nature on her own. Which started the suspicion that I was in fact the reason behind all of these misfortunes. That night, the last night that the blizzard was meant to be over us, Nira took me hunting. It was the dead of the night, and we sat in a small alcove dug into the snow, staring out into the white abyss of the storm for hours, until inevitably giving up and going home.

When we got back to the Chantry, the door was open, and snow was blowing in. When we stepped inside, after fighting to close the door, someone was standing there, a figure, cloaked in blue light, that neither of us could make out, before disappearing. I went to ask Nira if she’d seen it as well, but I couldn’t remember exactly what it was I’d even seen, and then the memory was gone completely.

 

Four days had passed, and the blizzard was finally fading over the horizon, the mages were almost finished clearing the roads, and Ben was already packed to leave.

“I’m ready to be out of here Mel,” Ben grumbled as he tied his staff to his pack, fumbling with the buckles. “I can’t breath here anymore, this mission is going to be good for all of us.”

“Yeah,” I mumbled, handing him his freshly refilled canteen. “I have to admit Haven has grown rather claustrophobic, everyone forced into tight spaces… I’m jealous you get to leave.”

“It’s not too late to change your mind, you could still come with us,” He replied, nodding his head towards Solas, who was adjusting the straps on his hart, his hood pulled up over his head. “I know a certain mage would be very happy to have you with us.”

My mind went to the previous night, the soft, loving kisses Solas had given me, the hours of gentle love making, the promises to return, and I ached for him. I wanted him to stay, more than anything, to be here with me, to guide my hand in leading while Ben was away, but I knew he had to go, wanted to in fact. He needed to breath, Haven was smothering him more than it was any of us.

“You’ll be fine without me, it’s a quick trip to the storm coast and back, with a few stops along the way, oh and-” I pulled out a small pouch from my pocket and put it in Ben’s hand. “If you find any herbs to aid in sleeping? For Cullen.”

Ben smiled down at the bag of coins, almost solemn, before throwing his arms around me in a hug.

“You’re going to be great,” He whispered, before kissing the side of my head, and shoving me towards Solas with a wink. I had no doubts in my mind that I was capable of taking care of Haven, the last few days had shown me exactly what I’d need to do, and I was prepared to do it. Sort of.

I strolled over to Solas, who held the reigns of his mount in hand, all ready to leave. I cleared my throat and he turned, facing me. He looked down at me with an almost blank expression, though his eyes lit up when they met mine.

“Be safe.” Was all I managed, reaching up to brush at his shoulder, though there was nothing there. I just wanted that excuse, any excuse, to touch him one last time before he left. He grabbed my hand before I could pull it away, apparently experiencing the same sense of abandonment I felt.

“And you,” He whispered, staring at my hand, before bringing it to his lips, kissing my cold fingertips, he hesitated there a moment, holding eye contact with me, as the blush burned at my cheeks and ears, before pulling away.

My body felt cold as soon as his touch was gone, and I momentarily wished he’d taught me that damn heating rune, but as I went to ask, he was already climbing upon his mount.

“Seriously, Solas!” I shouted as their caravan started to move. “I won't be there to patch you up this time! You’ll have to rely on Ben! Ben!!”

I saw Solas’ head bend forward and his shoulders shake in a laugh, and he turned back to look at me one last time, his smile wide as he tried to stifle his laughter, with Ben in front of him, yelling back something I couldn’t hear anymore.

 

I was two feet back into Haven from saying my goodbyes when Josie basically pounced me. She was all a flutter, dancing around me, saying something in antivan that didn’t register with me as she did. I walked up the steps desperately trying to calm her down.

“Josie use your words, I don’t know what you want,” I laughed, putting a hand to the small of her back and guiding her up.

“You- You Melana are the temporary leader of the Inquisition!” She gasped, and before I could respond, continued; “We have so much to do, repairs need to be made, scouts sent, missives need to be sent as well don’t forget that, oh! And the Skyhold reports are finally back! We need to start sending parties up there as well, oh Maker, and don’t even get me started on the rations-”

“Josephine! Gracious, you’ve turned the poor girl white,” Leliana's voice cut through the list of terrifying things Josie was talking about, and a hand found it's way to my shoulder, and I was now the one being guided. “It’s nothing as scary was what she makes it out to be, we simply need you to sign a few things, smile, and address one or two problems.”

“That’s what I said,” Josephine huffed as I opened the doors to the Chantry.

The room was still a mess, but it was an almost empty mess, now that everyone had made their ways back to their actual lodgings. A few people were lingering, cleaning or trying to finish moving their things, and the always present group of children were currently in the back corner, running circles around one another and laughing like possessed banshees. The candlelight was dim, as it was still rather early and no one had replaced the lights yet, but I barely made out the color of Oliver’s hair in the gaggle of children, and smiled to myself.

I was happy he could distract himself here.

 

The three of us pushed into the war room where Cassandra and Sera were sitting, idly ignoring each other on either side of the room, though when we entered, both of their faces brightened at the sight of me.

“Tell me baldy’s gone,” Sera gasped, lunging across the room to throw an arm around me. “I can’t wait to have some actual fun now that grumpy is gone!”

“Sera,” Cassandra sighed, “Melana has work to do, I told you that.”

Sera threw her head back in a long groan, not letting go of me.

“Come on! We can go throw snowballs at Cullen until he turns red in the face!” Sera giggled, grabbing for my hand to drag me away.

“Cass is right,” I grumbled, pulling away from Sera with a frown. “I can’t play today Sera, I’ve got work to do… maybe tonight?”

But Sera wasn’t listening, she was already huffing and puffing out of the room, fully disappointed in me, as I’m sure many more people would soon be as well.

All of the work I had to do ate up my entire day, starting with sending out the missives we’d written over the past four days, and followed by an unwanted return of my daily training. Cullen stormed into the room and stole me, forcing me to run once again, but this time with a group of soldiers, who somehow all managed to step in tune with one another, while I just tried to get one foot in front of the other. After that Josie stole me again for an Orlesian lesson with the children, who were all somehow doing much better than me. Specifically Oliver, he was picking up the language exceedingly fast.

It seemed to be “Drag Melana to and fro” day, so I wasn’t at all surprised when Leliana showed up mid class to pull me out, and have me address the group that had travelled to Skyhold. Which when she told me that, I expected something… different.

She brought me into the Heralds cabin, which I’d maybe only been in once or twice, and it was weird to be there without Ben. But we walked in, and the fire wasn’t lit. Nor were any candles. So we stood in a dark room, with about ten people crammed into it, all wearing the color white, their faces covered, and none of them looking at us.

“These are the scouts we sent to Skyhold,” Leli started, and still the group did not look at us. “My ten best, they were under strict orders to stay hidden, and to keep this mission a secret, we don’t want anyone knowing where we’re moving to until we’re sure it's safe.”

“Of course,” I nodded, though I barely understood. “What can you tell me about it then?”

A few of them exchanged a look as I spoke, before one stood, an elf by the looks of him, and he approached me, slowly. He pulled back his hood, and his ears stood prominent, dark and blushed in the cold, his eyes slanted and sunken, as though he hadn’t slept in days, though his features handsome, his hair long and shaggy, shaven on one side, exposing a pink scar along his scalp.

“The castle itself is entirely abandoned,” He started, holding his hand out towards one of his companions, who reached behind him, fumbling with something a moment, before placing a large slip of parchment in the others hands. He walked over to a table in the corner, and spread the paper out, revealing a map of Skyhold. “Bigger than we expected as well, there were just doors after doors, you keep expecting it to run out of room at some point but it just… kept going. I’m not even sure we were able to map the entire place out.”

He was right, on the map I saw rooms I knew, the courtyard, the ball room, the barn… but then there were things I’d never seen before. The land around Skyhold was bigger, fields and forests I’d never seen, halls drawn on that I didn’t recognize, and… an extra tower? Now that was interesting.

“Someone powerful used to live here,” He continued, pointing to said extra tower. “This place, we couldn’t get in naturally, the doors were sealed magically, if not for a tree having fallen through the roof, we’d have never got in.”

“And?” I asked, flattening my hand on the table next to the room. “What was in there?”

The group was quiet, as though unsure how to respond, until the one who had produced the map stepped forward, and handed me another parchment. Unfolding it was… you could feel the power emanating from even the drawing, though I was apparently the only one in the room that felt it. It was an eluvian, not the one I’d already known about, the one hidden in one of the rooms of Skyhold… this one was, it was massive. It took up almost the entire tower, and it appeared to be broken in several places, with large cracks all up and down it.

“I’ve seen these before,” Leliana whispered, taking the paper from me. “Though never in such a great size.”

“An Eluvian.” I breathed, staring at the paper with her. “It’s not intact though, it can’t be used.”

“Could it be repaired?” One of the scouts asked, and I shrugged in response.

“I heard of an elf girl in Kirkwall who… tried… but I never heard what came of it.” I offered, taking the paper back. “Solas as told me a small bit about these… they ah-they need a code word, a key to be used, and even then they need to be complete.”

“But they’re used to travel to places?” Leli asked, and I nodded.

“I cannot stress this enough, it cannot be used unless it is fixed,” I sighed, rolling the paper up and putting it back down next to the map. “No one can go, or come through it until then.”

 

With the map of skyhold tucked under my arm, Leliana and I returned to the war room, to discuss our next plan of action with Cullen and Josephine. Cullen was already there, his hair tousled as he attempted to write something, a few crumpled up papers around him, all with words scribbled out.

I cleared my throat  and Cullen jumped, his quill sliding across his paper as he did, a sour look on his face.

“We’ve news on skyhold,” I said, dropping the map on the table as Leliana nodded at us, before heading over to get Josie, closing the door behind her. “It’s empty, like Solas said.”

Cullen fumbled to put his work to the side before grabbing for the map, opening it as I sat down next to him. He spread it out over the war map, and stood, so he could get a better view. A moment passed before he said anything, one hand running over his stubble, the other drumming a rhythm on the table.

“It’s unoccupied? Truly?” He asked, almost sighing with a smile I’d never seen as he slumped back in his seat.

“According to the scouts, no one's been in it in years, save a few beasts that’ll need chasing out.” I replied, reaching over to point at the Eluvian tower. “That room will need to be marked off, I don’t want anyone going near it once we’re settled.”

“Why?” Cullen asked, picking up his quill and putting a small mark next to the tower as not to forget.

“There’s an Eluvian in there.” I said flatly, and his quill jumped again as it had when we’d startled him. He looked at me questioningly, and I only nodded, making a “Yeah I fucking know” face.

He shook his head, but still marked the spot, seemingly unquestioning after that, until Josie and Leli returned of course.

The diplomat in Josephine was beyond excited to see all of the extra rooms, the space for visiting dignitaries, but the rest of Josie was beside herself with joy when she saw the ballroom space, and that started the talking of balls, and parties, and how we needed to migrate to Skyhold immediately and start preparing, as it was nearing ball season anyway, and we had to hurry as not to compete with other balls that were already scheduled.

The next hour consisted of nothing but writing, along with a ridiculous amount of talking. If all went well, Ben and I would return simultaneously, one with mages and the other with templars, that night, we would seal the rift, and leave. They seemed confused as to why I was so adamant about that, leaving immediately after, and I struggled to find a viable reason.

“The troops will be tired,” Cullen argued, “They’ll want to celebrate, perhaps we could leave come morning?”

“No,” I grumbled, running a tired hand through my hair. “We need to be on our way the moment that the rift is sealed, who knows how our unknown enemy will retaliate when they see not only both armies gone, but the rift sealed. It would be best to leave as soon as possible.”

“I…” Cullen’s voice trailed out as he thought, wanting to argue more, but… “Alright.” He caved.

 

Fifty people were chosen to travel to Skyhold ahead of the main forces, with the promise of more soon to come. They were instructed to stay off the main roads, and to attempt to stay hidden to the best of their abilities. So they left that night, accompanied by Leliana’s ten scouts, we all prayed they would go unnoticed by our unseen enemy, and that this would work.

 

That night I made my way back to our little cabin with Oliver at my side, feeling lonely without Solas, though comforted by the thought of his quick return. I tucked Oliver into the bed, reading to him out of one of the only books we had that I could read, a story about a human lord who saved a town from the blight single handedly, a lie I’m sure, but it did it’s job nonetheless. Oliver was asleep, snoring softly, within minutes of me opening the book. It wasn’t very entertaining.

I turned to the small table, expecting it to be empty, but instead found it had a book on it, a worn, leather journal I didn’t recognize, with a note atop it. I crossed the room and sat down, picking up the note.

“Translate it yourself -Solas.” I read aloud, scowling. Translate what? I turned the note over, and there was nothing. I put it aside and picked up the journal instead, flipping through the pages, until an envelope fell onto my lap.

I knew what it was right away, the letter in all Elven, I’d given it to Solas days ago. It was untouched.

I sat it down next to the journal, and opened to the first page. Solas had scratched something out on the top of the page, but it read, in common: Elven For Beginners. I snorted out loud, immediately covering my mouth and glancing to Oliver, who rolled over with a groan. Light sleeper.

I spent a good twenty minutes translating the first two words of the letter, only to find that they were also… wrong. Not only were they spelt incorrectly, they were… Almost scrambled, like a code. I opened an empty page and wrote the words down, dissecting them, pulling them apart, and then putting them back together until they made sense. An hour had passed, but finally, I had the beginning of the letter, and the moment I read it aloud, and realized what it was, who it was for, I regretted ever finding it.

“Dearest Lavellan,” The words stared up at me, and I blinked a few times, just… just trying to process them. My mind ran rampant, trying to think about every single elf I’d seen over the past few weeks, every face, every name, but… no one. No one came to mind. My eyes travelled to the end of the letter, and saw that same word meaning “Lavellan”, ending it. Clan Lavellan was attempting to contact… her? Him? I didn’t know, but I was sure as hell going to find out. If they were even still alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Expect the next chapter up within the next week or two!  
> (Probably)


	25. Scouting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess whose back, back, back, back again

Since arriving at Haven, Oliver had stopped being such a wiggly sleeper, he found a spot and stuck to it, so I didn’t wake up because I was getting repeatedly kicked in the bladder… No I got woken up because Oliver couldn’t stop grinding his teeth. Right in my ear. At first I didn’t mind it as Solas had been there to distract my sleeping mind from any such interference, now… now all I could hear was the scraping of teeth against teeth. At one point I had to shove him as far away from me as possible, kicking him to the other side of the bed until the sound was at least slightly dampened by the distance between us, but even then it dug its way into my dreams. 

So it's safe to say I woke up… grumpy. 

It was just past dawn when I’d finally slipped off, and only because Oliver had woken up enough not to grind his teeth. But of course, I only got about twenty minutes of actual sleep before he was jumping on my stomach, eager to start the day. 

“Mel… Meeeelaaaanaaaa….” He whispered, rather loudly, directly into my ear. I groaned in response, grabbing him and rolling over, effectively pinning him under me. “Ah! Noo!” He laughed but he was on the verge of screaming or- creators forbid- biting me. 

“God, okay, I’m awake Ollie.” I grumbled, lifting my arm off effectively freeing him from my entanglement, which he immediately took advantage of by lunging off of the bed and running to the front door. I groaned again as he threw the door open, his little nightgown kicking up in the sudden burst of wind and exposing his pinkened knees. “Oliver close the door, just because the storm stopped doesn’t mean it isn’t cold as ice outside.” I almost said cold as ass, I’d gotten better at censoring myself around him. 

The door creaked as he forced it closed, and the floorboards did the same as he ran back over to the bed, his bare little feet padding on the ground before stopping at the edge of the dresser.

“Hey, hey,” I sighed, finally sitting up, holding a hand out towards him. “We have to do laundry today, now that the bath house is finally back open it’s everyone's laundry day.”

I threw my legs over the edge of the bed, and my toes touched the freezing cold floor with regret, begging me to put them back in the warm covers. It took all of my willpower to ignore that feeling. 

“Dirty clothes in the pack, and I do mean all of them sir.” I said, snapping towards his pile of clothes in the corner. A small pile, actually. We needed to buy him more clothes, and soon. I made a mental note to send a raven to Ben, maybe he would stop by a town with kids clothes on his trip. Or maybe the moms around Haven had extras? I’d ask around. 

I walked across the floor to the table, where the translation sat, untouched past the first two words, and I glared, unsure of how to proceed. I slid the letter into the journal, and put both into my bag to deal with later, when I had a moment. 

“If I don’t wear dirty clothes I’m going naked.” Oliver whined, drawing my attention back to him, now standing naked with his nightgown in his hands, pressed to his chest. That little nightgown was a gift from Josephine, when she found out he didn’t have one she’d practically broken out the sewing kit right then and there. 

I shuffled over to him on my knees, and he giggled at the image, until I was right in front of him. I pulled the gown back up over his head, and grabbed his boots. 

“No socks?” He asked, sitting down, hands in his lap with his feet outstretched for me. I thought about it a moment, before pulling open one of Solas’ drawers and reaching in. I felt around for a certain fabric, unsure if he would even have them, or if they’d even be the right- but my hand touched a familiar leather that hummed against my fingertips. I slowly pulled them out, holding them in my hand before Oliver, who started clapping at the sight of them. 

Foot wraps. Technically, hand wraps, actually. I’d seen Solas wearing them when he started getting blisters in the cold, but for Oliver, they would be the perfect leg size. A few minutes; and a lot of tickling and giggling later, Oliver and I were walking out of the cabin, a sizable bag of laundry on my back as I locked the door; Oliver’s hand in mine. 

“Can we take a bath too?” Oliver asked as we started walking away from the cabin. It was a clear day, most of the snow either melted away or moved, but the air was still chilled, as Haven was known to be. The ground would have been icey against our feet if not for Solas’ enchanted foot wraps that we both wore. 

“I hope so, you’re pretty stinky.” I replied jokingly, and he scoffed in response, his emotions very animated as he threw his arms around in protest. 

 

It was still early, so not too many people were out and about quite yet, though the usual guards were still running through their routines, and as we passed two who were lounging against a tree, seemingly flirting with one another, both men jolted to attention and saluted me. Which I found the utmost delight in, saying “at ease boys,” and smiling at them, though they refused to relax. I don’t know why, I was still in my jammies, my hair unbrushed and bags under my eyes. I probably just looked like a tired mess. 

“Are you the boss?” Oliver asked me as we descended the last set of stairs before the bathhouse. With it in sight now I could tell exactly how busy it was, everyone and their mother had the same idea as us, the bath house was packed with people, all there for laundry or bathing purposes. 

“Uh, sort of,” I answered, bending down and grabbing Oliver around the waist, hoisting him up on my hip. “Let’s just focus on getting inside for now bud.” 

The two of us approached the doors of the bathhouse just as a half naked Sera came bursting through the door, holding a plethora of pants, which was hilarious, because she wasn’t wearing any. She didn’t even stop to chat, she bolted towards the tavern, loose pants falling around her as she went. Before I could even react, five or six men, including Tannis and Isannan, came hurrying after her out of the men’s room, none of which wearing pants, all of which desperately trying to cover their privates with something far too small. 

Nira came fumbling out after it all, her hand on her stomach, unable to contain her laughter, her free hand propping herself up on the door. She was not pantsless. 

“Am I to assume you were involved in this?” I asked, stepping through the door and sliding Oliver down. Ollie was less interested in the strange amount of naked men, and more interested in his two friends who were sitting on the edge of the bathing pool, both kicking up waves. I nodded my approval and smiled down at Oliver, “Go on smalls, I’ll see you in a bit.” 

That was all the permission he needed, his little legs already bolting to their side, singing out their names as he did, and both boys spun to greet him, arms outstretched. I watched him until I made eye contact with the twins mother, who was standing topless in the water, scrubbing away at her clothes. We exchanged a nod, before I turned back to Nira who was still leaning in the entrance to the mens side. She cleared her throat and stood up straight.

“What? Uh-no, no ma’am, I certainly had nothing to do with this spectacular prank.” Nira said, barely able to keep a straight face, her cheeks turning pink as she desperately tried to stifle her laughter. 

“Yeah, uh huh.” I rolled my eyes and walked into the women’s room, with Nira hurrying behind me. The moment the door closed behind us she was throwing off her shirt and tossing it on top of a pile of clothes in the corner that looked suspiciously unlike anything she wore. “I’m glad I caught you actually, I wanted to ask you something.”

“Me? Sure, what do you need?” Nira asked, picking up her pace so she was keeping step with me. We got to the edge of the baths and I sat my pack down, lowering onto the damp floor next to it before starting to take my foot wraps off. 

“I need to know if a certain… a certain elven clan has a representative here.” I said, trying my best to word it correctly. 

“You’re looking for a clan spy?” Nira scoffed, sliding down on the ground next to me. I winced at her bluntness at it all. 

“I- I mean sort of. Not exactly a spy, just… Have you heard the name Lavellan thrown around at all?” I asked, dipping my uncovered toes into the scalding water, it was too hot at first but after a moment it was like heaven against my calloused feet. There were a lot of other people in the water as well, and you’d expect it to get dirty, but the liquid was as clear and crystal as any water I’d ever seen. 

Nira had grown quiet, and when I turned to look at her, she seemed… confused, her eyes flicking across the room, as if she was looking for something, anything to use to answer my question. Before looking back to me. 

“I… I know of them, yes.” She responded slowly, leaning forward, her own feet dipping into the water next to mine. I pulled my nightgown up over my head and tossed it a few feet away before sliding all the way into the water, standing with it at my stomach in the deeper end. 

“You do? Wait, them the clan, or them… as in, there’s more than one of them here?” I asked, turning to face her, my hands on the edge of the bath. 

She was quiet again, staring down into the water before responding. “There’s… two, twins.The boy... His name is Sorrian, he works mostly for Leliana, I really haven’t spent too much time with the guy, I only know him because he’s an elf really, I’ve mostly just seen him in passing.” She sounded almost panicked, as if she were in trouble for some reason. “The girl is around, I think her name is Sari, but I haven’t really met her. She’s a mage, I know that much.”

“Nira it’s not a big deal, I just have a letter addressed to them. Do you know where I can find him at least?” I asked, unstrapping my pack and starting to dig through the clothes. 

“No, he’s not in Haven right now I don’t think.” She sighed, relieved. “You just sent him on that super secret mission, along with half our best workers.”

Oh. OH! My mind ran through the group of Leliana’s men I’d met, the two elves, one more nervous, the map drawer, and the other… the tan one, with the scar, who seemed beyond serious. Or maybe one of the others, I hadn’t exactly gotten the best look at the group of them. Well, I’d finish translating the letter and then see if I couldn’t find this “Sari Lavellen”. I’d dedicate the rest of my evening to finishing that letter, and hopefully get it sorted out that night.

Nira and I spent the next thirty minutes washing clothes, well, I spent the next thirty minutes washing clothes, Nira just sat there and talked about how much fun we were going to have now that Solas was away. She claimed I was finally available for fun. 

“Solas is fun,” I snapped back, wringing the last of the water out of my hair as I stepped out of the bathing area and sat down on one of the stools, pulling my now clean, but wet pile of clothes over to my side. “He’s fun in other ways.”

“Like with his mouth ways?” Nira chuckled, wiggling her eyebrows at me. 

“No, creators Nira,” I choked out with a bright red blush, pulling a shirt up onto my lap. “He teaches me things, magic and languages, which is fun.”

“All I’m hearing is he teaches you mouth things.” Nira smirked back, poking me in the side, making me squeak. 

“Fenedhis woman, he’s like my teacher.” I swore back, but my use of the elven curse only made her laugh more, throwing her head back and grabbing my shoulder to steady herself. 

“And he’s taught you to swear? I love it!” She said through tears, water shaking off her as she danced back and forth. 

I rolled my eyes and put the last of my laundry to the side, all of it finally washed clean and ready for drying.

“He’s taught me more than that,” I hummed, putting a hand to the top of my wet laundry. My eyes slid closed at I concentrated on one of the spells Solas had walked me through several times now, something he thought I might need to know while he was gone. The water pulled away from my hips, sizzling as if insulted by my presence. I lifted my hand… and slowly, with strain, the condensation pulled from my clothes, droplet by droplet, until it pooled into a bubble, hovering between my hand and my now dried laundry. 

Nira’s face lit up, and she opened her mouth to say something, but I took the bubble and smashed it right into her, knocking her backwards, and sending water flying everywhere. She quickly got my back by dragging my feet underwater, starting an all out war in the bath. 

 

About an hour later I was trudging back up to the cabin, Oliver dressed neatly at my side, holding a few of his clothes in his arms, telling me all about his friends and how they were so dirty their mom had to scrub them with some kind of root to get the stink off. We dropped off our clean clothes and changed our now wet foot wraps into different ones, leaving the wet ones to dry by the fireplace, before heading down to the tavern. 

The tavern was the place to congregate for food now that the chantry was back to being just a plain old chantry. Unfortunately the Tavern was also the place to congregate for drink, and even though it was early to most, some had been up all night keeping watch and had only just switched shifts. So there were a few rather loud drinkers lingering around the bar when we walked in. 

Sera was nowhere to be seen, probably off hiding somewhere with her new horde of trousers, leaving Oliver and I to eat breakfast in relative peace. Though there were a few loud men who found the need to come over and sing far too close to our table, all trying to show their skills off to the few girls who were working that morning. One however seemed to be fixated on me, his eyes constantly meeting mine and then quickly looking away. I didn’t recognize him, maybe one of the templars, as I hadn’t interacted with them very heavily, but by the time Oliver and I were finished eating, he was gone. 

Shrugging that off, the two of us headed up to the Chantry, and were greeted quite loudly when we entered the main hall.

“Ah! And here she is now,” Josephine practically shouted from across the room, waving me over to her. I put my best smile on and waved to her and the few people standing around her, all of which wore masks that were very Orlesian. I bent down to Oliver’s level and told him to run on ahead to Josie’s room, and he listened, nodding quickly before bolting. As I approached, Josephine continued, “One of the Inquisitions head advisors; Melana will be sure to see that you receive all the assistance you require.” 

“I will?” I whispered to Josie as I joined her side, she elbowed me and I chirped, “Of course I will! I am but a servant to the Inquisition, whatever you require, I am at your disposal.” 

They all took turns bowing and introducing themselves- or one another, before one in particular stepped forward.

“I am Lady Dunwich,” An older woman, her face hidden under a rams mask, spoke with her chin higher than my head, looking down at me through thin slits. “My land in the Graves has been set upon by ruffians and demons, claiming to be members of your inquisition! They refuse to leave my grounds, and when I began demanding they take their idiotic land boats and get off my property, they claimed it to be hallowed ground! Absolutely outrageous, I demand this be dealt with!” 

“I apologize, but are you certain that these people are associated with us?” I asked slowly, taking a wary step back from her. She’d said “Land boats”, aravals maybe and ruffians could easily translate to elves in any human's eyes, but demons... That was a dangerous topic. 

“They wore your symbol and flew your banners, I don’t see how they could be following anyone else!” She snapped back, clearly irritated by my response. 

“Of course, I’ll send some one at once to see what can be done, for now I’d offer you our roof, if you’ll have it, until we can get this mess sorted out.” I replied calmly, trying to keep my cool, remembering my days of customer service, the customer is always right… even when they’re not. She seemed some what pleased with my offer, and after a few more huffs and puffs the entire group of them trailed off to where I do not care, all that mattered was they were out of my face. 

I turned back to Josephine who seemed rather happy with the way I’d handled that, making a few notes before smiling up at me.  

“That went better than expected,” She chirped. “They’d refused to speak to anyone other than the Herald, and refused to believe that he’d left! I was starting to think they’d just stomp around until he’d gotten back.”

“What is this she’s talking about? Her land has been set upon by us?” I scoffed, motioning towards the war room, she nodded and we started walking in that direction. 

“I’m as surprised as you, I’ll have to inform Cullen, perhaps he knows.” She hummed, pushing open the war room door. We both stepped inside, closing the door behind us, and moved to our spots at the table. I put down my books and the letter that was meant to be my main focus for the night, but may have to be put aside to deal with this new issue. 

“We may need to send a group to deal with this, some scouts can be there and back in a day, the area isn’t too far from here, but the real issue is that most of the inner circle is gone. Normally we’d send Ben to deal with something like this,” Josie trailed off, staring down at the map.

“She said demons. There might be a rift nearby… No one but Ben can handle something like that.” She grumbled, marking something down on her board. 

“No, but we can judge whether or not Ben will be needed for it, a rift can be contained until he gets back, with the right people.” I replied, “Send the scouts to investigate the possibility of a rift, but send an Elvhen Representative to speak with the “ruffians”, from the sound of it, they’ll respond best if we don’t send humans. Especially human soldiers.”

“Who do you suggest then? Sera? We don’t have that many elves who can actually speak for the Inquisition.” Josephine said almost sarcastically, though I was unsure if she was able to do anything of the sort. 

I thought on it a moment, most of our elf population had been sent to settle Skyhold, we had very little still around save Nira and-

“Lavellan,” I thought outloud, “There's a girl somewhere in Inquisition, Sari Lavellan, get her for me, I’d like to speak with her before making any decisions.” 

Josie nodded and made her way to leave and was halfway out the door before popping her head back in and chiming; “There's a pitcher of water on the table over there if you need it.” before ducking back out.

 

I spent an hour translating the letter, and by that point, I realized what it was. 

 

_ “Lavellan Twins,  _

 

_ We write in worry, not having heard a word since before the conclave, please if you get this, know that we have travelled to the Emerald Graves, the Dales became too dangerous. We intend to stay here until we here word of either your death or your return. If indeed you will not be returning to us, know your mother loves you both, and we wish…” _

I stopped reading at that point, and resealed the letter. No doubt the Lavellan clan was the one occupying the land in the graves the Lady had complained about, if that was the case then the girl should indeed be going. 

I hummed a tune to myself as I put the letter to the side, and started reading missives, trying to get some actual work done. Apparently repairs were needed on the smithy’s cabin, beams collapsed in the storm and destroyed the work area. Not to mention I had letter after letter about… pranks? Discomfort and chaos had come to the camp in the lower sections, someone was deliberately trying to make their lives miserable. It sounded of Sera, but… things were too specific, things she couldn’t know. For example, one man was found paralyzed with fear when a swarm of dead rats was found in his bed, apparently the man had a lifelong fear of rodents of any kind. And then again, a dwarf girl with a fear of small spaces was found screaming in a box hanging from a tree. Neither had ever spoken to anyone about their deepest fears, but somehow, they were coming true.

I’d… speak to Sera. Maybe, even if she wasn’t the one doing this, she had some idea who was.

There was a knock at the war room door, and I jumped, startled by the sound of it. I looked to the candle to my side, and it was near the end of it's wick. How long had I been reading?

“Come in,” I spoke with a raspy voice, my throat sore from lack of use. 

The door creaked open, and a girl stepped through. Elven, young with long black hair pulled into a thick braid that hung to her hips down her back with short bangs covering her forehead, her eyes slanted and brown with thin eyebrows, lips pink as she bit down on her bottom one, apparently nervous. She shuffled into the room, her clothes rather common, but no staff in sight. Nira had said she was a mage hadn’t she?

“Lady Lavellan? Yes?” I asked, putting down my papers to look fully up at her from across my spot at the table. Her back stiffened, but she nodded. “Close the door.”

She fumbled even in turning around, slowly pushing the door shut, before turning back to me, her hands tight at her sides. She didn’t look like anything particularly special, she was pretty, her skin tone a bit darker than expected, maybe Tevinter in heritage, or Nevaran. Her vallaslin was white, and barely visible under her bangs, though it curved under her eyes, making them pop. 

“Whose Vallas is that? I can never remember them.” I asked, barely looking up as I signed the order to clean up the smithy. Needed to deal with that early on.

“M-Mythals,” She choked out, her hands now in front of her, wringing together as she struggled. “My lady is there something you require of me?”

“Ah, yes, I apologise.” I replied, putting the order aside and grabbing her letter. I held it out to her. “This came for you, my elven isn't all it's cracked up to be, but I know the word “Lavellan” when I see it.” 

She hesitated, staring at the letter like it was some kind of trap. 

“I don’t bite, take it.” I chuckled, smiling as she practically dove across the table to snatch it from my hand and rip it open. She read quickly, though she seemed to have to stop every other word and think about it, apparently her elven wasn’t up to par either. 

“It’s from my clan,” She whispered, a smile spreading on her own lips. “They want to know if my brother and I survived the attack, and if… if we’re going to return.”

“Are you?” I closed my translator next to me, the slam of it making her jump. “We need good people, in fact I have a mission for you right now, if you’re willing. But I would never force you to stay. If you want to return home to your people, then by all means. Go home.” 

She stared at me wide eyed, still holding the letter at a reading distance, as if she wasn’t sure, as if the thought had never occurred to her. 

“... What’s the mission?” She asked slowly, folding the letter and tucking it into her belt. She seemed a tad more confident, though still flinching every time I so much as moved. 

“We believe an elven clan is occupying land that belongs to a Lord and Lady in the Emerald Graves, we suspect it is your clan. We were hoping someone from said clan would go and try and speak with them, perhaps have them move, or delegate peace between the two groups.” I replied, trying to sit further up in my chair. It was supremely weird, this conversation. For one, this girl could have ended up being the Herald, this girl could’ve been the Inquisitor, instead… she was a meek, scared girl who could barely look me in the eye. 

“If that’s the case, why not my brother, he’s a scout.” She started fidgeting again and I got… curious. If this girl was a mage, you’d think she’d be one of our fighters or healers, but she looked like a kitchen wench, or a maid. She didn’t seem to be what I’d expected. I stretched my aura towards hers, gently trying to brush up against any magic she had, but the instant I touched her, she took a step back, her face lit with fear. 

She spun to the door, she’d have run if she wasn’t so close, but I locked it faster than she could get it open, one of the few spells I was proficient in at this point. She turned to face me, her back flat against the hard wood of the door, her eyes desperately scanning the room for an escape. 

“Gracious girl calm down,” I sighed, stepping down from my chair and walking around the table, she almost screamed, trying to get as far away from me as possible while not abandoning the door. I held my hands out. “We’re all mages here, I don’t plan on hurting you.”

“You’re a circle mage!” She shrieked, “You’ll turn me over to the Templars, I know you will, that’s what that last one did, She-She’s the reason I had to hide!”

“Whoa, whoa!” I shouted, tried to, over her yelling, but still she barely listened. “I’m not a circle mage! I’m an apostate like you, in fact I’m fairly new to the whole magic thing, so can we just take it down a notch?”

That seemed to calm her ever slightly, her breath steadied, and she stopped trying to run, but her face was still wrought with fear. 

“Look, Sari, it's Sari, right?” I asked, she nodded. “Okay, Sari, I promise no one is coming to take you to a circle. In fact I think circles should be abolished! I, as Head Advisor to the Inquisition, personally guarantee your safety as a mage.”  

Her shoulders sank as she exhaled, her hands finally pulling away from the door, and back to her chest, as if that could settle her nerves more. I took a wary step forward and put a hand to her shoulder. 

“You have nothing to fear from me,” I added, motioning her back to the table. “And if Commander Cullen gets up in your business about anything, I’ll knock his lights out, alright?”

I got a chuckle out of her for that, as the two of us sat down in the small sitting area next to the war table. She seemed fragile and scared, like something had happened relatively recently that had scarred her from Circle Mages. 

“I’ll do it, but only if you come with me.” She whispered as we sat down across from each other. I blinked up at her, waiting for more of an explanation. “I don’t… I don’t trust these people, the shemlen, if I go to the Graves with them they won't listen to me, they might hurt my people. My people might attack them on site!”

“You want an elven escort.” I offered, and she nodded, sitting back in her seat. She was a very active talker, lots of hand motions and leaning. “I’m not sure if I’m the best person to go with you, I have a lot of responsibilities here, not to mention my little brother to take care of.”

There was a beat of silence between us, the only sound was a distant hammering echoing through the chantry as we stared at one another.

“You’re not… Dalish, are you?” She finally asked, “I don’t mean to assume, but you don’t have vallas or an accent.”

“Is it that obvious? No, I was born and raised mostly in Denerim, as was my brother.” I replied, reaching for my long forgotten water Josie had left me. I poured for both of us as she talked. 

“You should bring him with you then! You’ve never experienced  _ real  _ elven culture!” She said with a smile, but I only cringed into my drink. I never quite grasped Solas’ distaste for the Dalish, but I could see why they might turn him off at this point. She started talking more, and it seemed she wasn’t going to shut up about how great the Dalish were, and about this story and that which I probably didn’t know, and I started to get kind of annoyed. Like I had to defend my elven heritage to her, which I didn’t really have. I was barely really an elf, I’d been human until a few months ago. 

“Sari, we’re getting off track here,” I said finally, clearing my throat as she starting talk about ANOTHER incorrect story about the Pantheon. “If you really want me to go with you we’ll have to set a few ground rules.”

She raised a brow questioningly as I handed her a glass of water.

“For starters, I’m not that well versed in the tales of Ancient Elvhen, but my Harhen has taught me a small amount, though I’m not keen to discuss it, I’d hate to turn you away by my inability to do so.” I chuckled, not looking up from my drink. “Secondly, I’ll not be bringing my brother into such a dangerous place, Dalish or not, I’m sure you can understand why.” 

She nodded slowly before taking a drink.

“Lastly, I’d prefer it if you were honest with the group I chose to bring with us. I don’t know how well you fight as a mage, but we’ll need all the firepower we can get, and I’m a healer, not a fighter.” I crossed my legs as I spoke, and she seemed surprised almost that that's all I had for her. 

“Forgive me, but is that all?” She asked meekly, putting her drink in her lap. 

“Pardon?” I replied, not quite understanding.

“Well… I expected you to tell me not to talk so much, or to not talk at all really.” She breathed a small laugh, and I furrowed my brow, extremely confused.

“I didn’t ask you to go on this mission because I needed someone who doesn’t talk. I need you to speak, you’re the lynch pin in this, I’m not going to be doing any of the talking, this is your clan, it's your responsibility to talk to them.” I sighed, almost irritated that I had to explain any of this. But then again, this girl was probably working as an underling, she’d probably been considered under her brother in rank most of her life, being thrown into this mission wasn’t exactly something she was expecting. 

“Do you think you can handle something like this?” I asked slowly after she didn’t respond for a while. She sort of just stared off for another minute, like she had to think about it, before nodding her response.

 

An hour later and I was breaking the news to the inner circle; I was leaving on a mission to the Emerald Graves. 

“Ha! Have fun with that, stuck with more elfy elfs while the elfiest elf is away? Sound like so much fun,” Sera said sarcastically.

“I’m glad you think so Sera, you’re coming with me.” I shot back, and she started groaning. Everyone else had little qualms with me going, Josie wasn’t happy that both Ben and I would be gone, but she understood the reasoning. Leliana had already sent the scouts to investigate the rift situation, and said the group would report to us the minute we arrived in the Graves. Cullen seemed… uncaring towards the entire event, like he had something better to do, more important. I brushed it off, he had things he was doing, we had things we were doing. 

Oliver would stay under the care of Josephine, and she was happy to have him, the two had bonded quite a bit over his studies. I wasn’t entirely pleased with leaving him, I’d intended to keep him by my side for… well forever, but when I told him I was leaving for a while, and he could chose between staying in classes with Josie, or going into the belly of the beast with me, he chose to stay. He barely thought twice about it. 

That night, after tucking Oliver in, I went to see Nira. We’d decided she, Isannan and Tannis would be coming with me on the trip, as well as a few of Leliana’s elven scouts, and a few of Cullen’s elven, or half elven, soldiers. It was going to be the most elfy caravan the Inquisition had to offer. Nira was in the lower camp with her brother when I found her, already packed and dressed for leaving the next morning. 

We spent the evening discussing the fastest, and safest, route to the Graves, she’d been in the past and knew a few back roads that would get us there twice as quick, though had a tendency to have bandits. I told her bandits wouldn’t be a problem, I wanted to get there and back as fast as possible. I didn’t want to leave the Inquisition to it’s own devices. Not for nothing, but I didn’t trust Cullen all too well by that point. 

Nira and I agreed the best plan was to follow her lead, and take any and all shortcuts we could. She seemed eager to leave, excited to spend this time with me away from Haven and the control of the Inquisition. 

I left her with a hug, and the promise of seeing her bright and early in the morning, heading home to hopefully get a better nights rest than the night before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so uhhhhhhh... I have no excuses, I got super duper blocked and couldn't write anything for forever, but! Hey! Happy one year anniversary of this story! Uhhh I'm getting super inspired again now that I'm working at the pool, and hopefully this keeps up and I actually start to produce chapters at a normal rate! See you guys next time


	26. Bonding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate to post a short chapter after such a long break, but I feel that its best with where this is going right now!

 

The morning came rough, Nira jolting me awake far too early, the air bitter and angry as it whipped through the door she'd left open. I was hostile at first; unfamiliar hands gripping at me, trying to wake me as I lashed out against them.

"Mel, Mel! It's me!" Nira practically screeched, my hand pulled back, sparks of electricity jumping between my fingertips.

I blinked away the sleep and as my vision cleared, I lowered my hand, dropping the spell.

"Oh gods Nir I'm so sorry, I didn’t get to bed until late last night." I tried to laugh it off, but Nira was clearly shaken by the entire interaction. I pushed the blankets down and slid off the bed, "Is it time to go?"

Nira nodded, "I figured I'd come get you before we started prepping the horses, I knew you'd still be asleep," she moved back to the table, leaning on it as she spoke, "plus I needed an excuse to get away from Sera's complaining. Did you really have to bring her?"

I scoffed as I crossed the room, closing the front door before moving to my dresser, "I thought you liked Sera."

"I do!" Nira jumped up to defend herself, waving her hands back and forth. "I do, it's just, you know she hates this kind of thing. I said something to her in elven once and she scowled for a solid five minutes."  

I chuckled, pulling out my outfit I'd planned for the day; thin leather trousers, thick fur lined boots and a baggy shirt to go under my mage armor, topped with my cloak and a wolf skin shall. It was more of a travelling outfit than anything, and would do for the day of riding ahead of us.

"She'll get over it," I finally replied, now finished getting dressed. "Sari wanted a full elven escort, and we're short handed. I wouldn't bring her if she wasn't necessary,"

Nira made a sound of agreement from across the room as I started latching on my armor, I heard some shuffling behind me as I struggled to get one strap tightened all the way, before I felt her hands pushing mine away. I grumbled as she pulled my straps tight, causing me to suck in for a moment, the breath pushed out of me.

"I just hope you know what you're doing," She sighed, "I don't want this going sideways because Sera can't handle not making fun of the Dalish."

“I'm sure she'll control herself." I laughed as she clicked the last of the straps together. “She won't even be talking to them, It’ll be you, Sari and I at the front dealing with any and all interactions involving the Dalish… Sera is there for muscle mostly.”

With my armor on I did a quick stretch out, testing my flexibility. I hadn’t worn the mage armor yet, it had been a gift from Cullen of all people, left with a very scared scout at my door the night before. I hadn’t thought he’d been paying attention to the meeting at all. It was silverite, I think, shiny and rather tight fitting. I didn’t have as much mobility with it on, but I was certainly safer.

“If Sera’s our muscle then I’m worried for both of our safety.” Nira scoffed as I turned to face her. I tried to hide a chuckle as she handed me my staff, already in it's holster. I laced it around my back with one hand and opened the door with the other, this time the breath of iced air hitting her face instead of mine.

 

We stood in the doorway a moment while I put on my gloves, the winter air brushing against our bare faces… it was going to be a long day.

“Are you sure about this?” Nira asked, her hand gripping the quiver at her hip. “This isn’t going to be a diplomatic trip, you realize that, don’t you?”

“We’re going to end up fighting something, or someone… I know.” I replied, giving a quick glance to Oliver’s door. Josie would be here any minute to start moving him into the Chantry, it had been one of the things we’d discussed, that I wouldn’t be here in the morning.

“And if there are demons…” Nira’s voice faded out, her eyes flicking back and forth between my own.

“We’ll handle it how we handle it Nir, besides, aren’t you excited to see the graves? You sound hesitant.” The two of us stepped outside, her a little ahead of me, shaking her head as I closed the door.

“I’m not hesitant, I’m worried about you. If the past week has shown us anything it's that you’re a good leader, you’re not meant to be thrown into the middle of a battle, you should be on the side pulling the strings.” She sighed, the two of us walked down the steps to the path out. “You’re not built for this.”

“Not built for this? Nira it doesn’t matter what I’m built for, I have the ability to help, if I didn’t and things went to shit, the weight of that choice would destroy me.” I replied, Guardian hummed in approval from his resting place which this morning, was around my neck like a choker. Nira came to a slow stop, I didn’t notice at first, taking a few steps forward before stopping to look back at her questioningly.

“You’ve grown,” She smiled. “I don’t think your time with Ser Solas and The Herald has been for nothing.”

I let out a sharp laugh, “We really haven’t been spending that much time together have we?”

“You never have time for us little folk anymore,” She snorted, jogging to my side.

 

Before I realized it we were walking through the gates, crowds of workers scurrying around us, the stairs bustling with people going in and out, Nira and I had to squeeze through. The caravan was already lined up, two wagons, one covered and one not, along with five or six horses for riding. I picked the sight of my harts horns out of the crowd and my heart fluttered, I’d missed riding these past few days.

“I’ll find Tannis,” Nira sighed, breaking off from me and walking off to the back of the caravan, where a few guys were leaning on the uncovered cart. I didn’t recognize any of the people in the caravan so far. Leliana’s scouts were all tutting around the covered wagon, clearly just waiting to leave, Cullen’s soldiers were all in position, all walking around the carts, surveying the area… my eye’s caught Sari’s as she stepped into view, her hands grasping her mages staff. She looked nervously around, like she wasn’t sure she was meant to be there.

She reminded me of myself those first few days in Thedas, hell, she reminded me of me last week! A guard walked by her and she flinched, dropping her staff. I watched her fumble as I approached my own mount, on her knees in the mud picking herself back up. I thought for a moment she might cry… I tried to keep my mama bear urges under control as I slung my pack behind my saddle.

“You okay Sari?” I asked, peeking over to her. She jumped at the sound of my voice, as though she hadn’t noticed me.

“I’m fine,” She whispered, standing up, her front slathered in muck. “I just dropped this staff… I’m not used to the weight.”

She was stood behind me, her horse positioned next to mine for more than obvious reasons, but she acted like I was someone to be afraid of. I guess all of us were “someone” to be afraid of at this point… Even if she claimed to trust me, there's no way five minutes alone with anyone would make you trust them completely.

“Thank you, for doing this.” I offered, smiling softly to her, she returned the expression, nodding her acceptance of my thanks, before hoisting herself up onto her mount. I did the same, my breath shaking as I struggled to climb on board. I still wasn’t good at that part, and probably never would be, damn tall ass Hart.

Sera appeared very suddenly in front of me, stomping her way over to her horse, a soft looking chestnut colored baby, before huffing her way up onto it. She was wearing thick winter clothes, something I’d never seen her in, and she looked half asleep. She was furious, that much I could tell. Nira was at her side a few minutes later, climbing atop her own mount and turning back to speak to me.

“Tannis and Isannan are riding at the back, but he said he’d be sharing a tent with us tonight so he brought cards!” She chirped, excited about the thought of playing games with us all. “We’ve got the okay to head out, if you’re ready.”

I took one last look over the caravan, over Haven… my eyes lingering on the rift, crackling up in the sky… my only thought of Solas, somewhere, closing rifts with Ben…

“Ready.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Do you think it ever stops raining?” Varric almost whined, shaking droplets off his coat.

          “I think they call it the storm coast for a reason,” came Solas’ sharp response. The two had been bickering since the morning, it was clear that this trip was taking it's toll on Solas, and Varric seemed content to feed the flames. The camp was carefully placed under a canopy of trees, which blocked the rain to some degree, but still everyone was hiding under something or another. Solas had been casting a barrier for his own sake, but that had apparently grown tiresome, and he was now hunched over in his too small of a tent. Varric was desperately trying to hold a cloak over his head, but much to his dismay, it didn't do much.

“I think there's a season where it doesn't rain, maybe…” I called from my hiding spot under a particularly thick pine tree. Blackwall shot me a glance, and i thought for an instant i saw a smirk before he went back to carving something. It looked like a small horse, but the rain around him was too thick and i couldn't much tell. He however looked like a sad wet mabari.

“When are we meant to meet this Iron Bull?” Solas asked, almost shouting over the sheets of rain.

“Tomorrow, we’ve got another day's hike to the coast, then it's a matter of finding the man.” I replied, in truth we were making great time, we’d stopped in the Hinterlands for barely an afternoon to seal a rift, though we did have to leave the horses… Solas’ mount, the Hart, was the only one capable of traversing the rocky slopes between the Hinterlands and the Storm Coast. Unfortunately for it, that meant it was carrying most of out things, turning it into a bit of a pack mule.

“Ser Herald,” an unfamiliar voice chirped, and my head shot up. A scout, one of ours, had appeared as if by magic in front of me. “A raven for you ser.”

He handed me a small missive, and i took it eagerly.

“It's from the inquisition.” I announced, waving the boy away. He faded back into the forest without another word as i unfurled the letter.

A beat of silence as i read.

“Well?” Varric asked, startling me.

“It's from Mel,” I started, I heard a shuffle from Solas’ direction as he moved to pay better attention. “A Woman, a noble, appeared at Haven claiming Elves were over running her land in the Emerald Graves, and that they were flying our banners. Melana, along with a team of elves, have gone to deal with the issue.”

“Melana is going to the Graves alone?” Varric grumbled. I expected that from Solas, hell maybe even myself, but was slightly surprised to hear it from Varric.

“She’s… not alone. She brought a woman from the elven clan, along with a large caravan… im sure she’ll be fine.” I replied, though even i didn't believe my own argument. My eyes glazed over the last of her letter “ _tell solas: ar lath ma vhenan. Be safe.”,_ and I couldn't help but smile.

More shuffling from Solas, and I looked up to realize he was walking over to me. I held the letter out to him and he happily took it, sitting down on the ground next to me.

“She…” he breathed, reading the letter twice over before rolling it up and handing it back. “She loves doing things that she knows I don't want her to do.”

“If she only did things we wanted her to do then nothing would ever get done.” I hummed in response, pulling my knees in closer to my chest, staring at a puddle of water in front of me, a leaf fell in it… causing ripples. “She’ll be fine.”

He didn’t respond, folding the letter and handing it back to me, but making no signs of moving. Solas had been a tad disinterested in speaking with me for at least the last few days, definitely since before leaving Haven. I chanced a glance over to him, his cold blue eyes staring out into the forest, as though it was the reason Melana was endangering herself. He chewed on his lip for a moment, before taking a deep breath, his eyes sliding closing as he exhaled, his hot breath steaming in the crisp, cold air.

“You’re worried.” I whispered, it wasn’t a question.

“Wouldn’t you be? If you were in my position?” Solas sighed back, his hand traveling to his side to dig into one of his pouches.

“We aren’t in very dissimilar positions. She’s my best friend,” I replied, turning my eyes away from him, and back to the puddle. It had overflowed, the leaf gone.

“I wish she wasn’t so…” He pulled something out of his pocket, a small pipe of some kind, though I had never seen him with it before. “Perhaps brash is the correct word… She seems to jump at the opportunity to impress you… and I suppose myself.”

He ended it with a sad sort of sigh, though there was a smile to his lips I hadn’t seen in days. And still didn’t, as I was pretending to stare at a puddle.

“I think she tries to impress you far more than me,” I chuckled back, picking a stone up from the ground and turning it over in my hand. “I doubt I’m the first person she thought of when she agreed to go to the Graves.”

“Agreed to? You act as though this wasn’t entirely her idea.” Solas snorted back, I could hear him moving again, and when I looked back he was packing something brown into his little wooden pipe. I… hadn’t taken him for a smoker. I leaned back, the stone soft in my hand as I ran it over the tips of my fingers.

“How is it she can come up with such amazing war tactics, and then turn around and decide to send herself off into the wilderness, where mind you there have been heavy reports of rifts, without the one person we know can close rifts?” I said, my voice still low as I chucked the rock into the puddle, sending it overflowing once again.

Solas was quiet at my side, holding the pipe in one hand, staring at where I’d just thrown the rock…

“This isn’t the best of pep talks.” I mumbled, “I realize you were probably looking for me to say something to cheer you up.”

“No,” Solas sighed in response, bringing the pipe to his lips, snapping his fingers and lighting it before taking a deep breath of whatever he was smoking… holding his breath…. And exhaling, “I wanted you to convince me I shouldn’t run after her.”

He held the pipe out to me.

… I took it.

“I didn’t know you…”

“I don’t usually, not for a long time… but lately, I feel it helps balance out the weight of the world…” His voice trailed off as I brought the pipe up and mimicked his actions.

The sky was tearing open all around us, the constant beating of the rain against the forest almost a song in the background as the two of us sat there in silence, passing the pipe back and forth until we’d smoked it dry. It tasted how I imagined Solas would, not that I imagined that often… Green, if a colour can be a taste, calming and gentle, yet putting a warmness in my chest that felt like someone was hugging me.

He patted the pipe on the trunk of the tree we sat on, before tucking it back into his pouch, careful not to damage it.

“We’ve never really… talked Solas. I know we’ve had conversations, and you’ve told me small amounts of what you’ve done or been through… But don’t think I don’t notice how you use the fade to cover everything up. I’m not ignorant, as much as I think the Chantry wants me to be…” My fingers dug into the dirt as I spoke, hoping to find another rock or something to fiddle with during this, I envied Blackwall, just out of my view widdling away.

“I don’t…” Solas started, inhaling deeply, before exhaling a laugh. “I don’t think I’ve ever once considered you ignorant Benjamin.”

“Yet you use the same lies on them as you do on me.” I snapped back, immediately regretting my tone and the rather loudness of it.

“No… I don’t.” He whispered back, trying to hint that he didn’t want this to be a public conversation. “What do you want to know?”

“You… told me once that you’d seen ancient battles, but never been in one. Were you lying?” I choked out, remembering that day we spoke, standing in front of his cabin… he’d been cold and collected then, yet eager to speak with me. He was different now, now that we’d fought together, bled together… now that he’d almost died defending me.

“...Yes. While it’s true that I’d seen ancient battles in the fade, I was not entirely honest with you about… about how I saw some battles.” He responded, slowly, calculated… A crack of thunder in the distance and we both shuddered in surprise, jumping closer together.

“So you… fought in a war?” I said after the clap had faded.

“I fought in a few, but they were… the memories are too much, I’d rather not relive them.” He mumbled, pulling his knees in closer, his cloak around them.

“... Have you ever lied to Melana?” I asked, my fists clenching as I glared out into the darkness, another flash of lightning spreading across the sky.

“I… Not since… not since Orlais.” He replied, his voice breaking as the thunder that accompanies lighting shook the sky. Orlais… that was when their spark had ignited, where the two had finally had it out with one another.

“I never really asked what happened to finally “break the hallas back” with that, to quote Horse Master Dennet.” I said, clearing my throat and leaning back as I did, a couple of stone now in my possession.

“She’s impossible,” He breath a laugh, crossing his arms over his chest. “She had loved me since the start but thought I held no affection for her, and I thought that she-”

“-Was in love with me?” I offered. He chuckled, nodding.

“Only now do I realize how foolish I was…” He plucked a stone from the ground and threw it into the distance. “But you must admit the two of you are quite physical with one another.”

“Yeah but it's-”

“-I know, not like that.” He offered, “She’s explained it at length and while yelling, I assure you.”

The two of us took turns chucking rocks into the puddles forming around us before I continued, “She’s good for you. We never would have talked like this before.”

“We never had a reason too. Other than being apostates you and I have little in common.” Solas sighed, glaring down at the ground, trying to find another rock.

“That’s not true,” I huffed, grabbing his shoulder, forcing him to look at me. “Solas, I don’t want to be friends with you because you’re in love with my best friend, I want to be friends with you because you’re a good man, and besides, I knew you first. She can’t steal you from me.”

“I think she stole most of me that second night in Orlais.” He smirked, laughing quietly to himself.

“Solas!” I cackled, slapping his shoulder. “You absolute dog.”


	27. Finding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What??? TWO UPDATES IN ONE MONTH??? How insane, where has masmkasm gone and who am I?? 
> 
> ((EDitted FINAlly!))

After three long days of travelling, what I could only describe as a grueling event, I found myself riding on the cart, my ass still unused to such long and bumpy distances on horseback. Tannis was next to me, the reins hanging loosely from one of his hands, the other propping his chin up while resting on his knee. I had been sketching him for some time, the road had evened out about a half mile back and I was finally able to hold my pencil steady. Figure drawing was never my forte but there was little else to do. 

Sharp green rays of sunlight spread out across my page, I shot a glance to Tannis, his barely awake face lit with a hundred different shades of sunlight cascading over his features. 

My eyes broke from his figure and to the environment around us, which was quickly

changing. We’d just crossed over into a thick patch of trees, the sun marking noon… we were far earlier than they’d expected. I tucked my sketchbook back into my bag before launching myself off the cart and onto the pebble road. Tannis near about had a heart attack, his chin slipping from his hand and letting out a snort as the weight shifted drastically in the cart. 

“Thought I could walk for a while!” I called to Tannis as the wagon made it's way past me. I saw Isannan in the back sitting on a box, he waved as he passed me by. I waved back with a sweet a smile as I could muster, before taking a few steps back.

I didn’t go far from the caravan, some of the guards a few yards between me and the edge of the forest. We’d gone undetected for the most part, contrary to our previous adventure to Orlais. 

I knelt down on the ground, the forest floor was riddled with small mushrooms, moss and all sorts of wild flowers… a perfect place for any woodland creature. I plucked a small purple flower and pressed it gently into my sketchbook, on the same page as the drawing of Tannis. 

A guard whistled and I realized they’d caught up to me. 

“My Lady please stay with the caravan,” One of them called, his horse stopped to wave me along.

I nodded meekly, feeling a little bit like I got caught doing something I wasn’t supposed to be doing, though… technically I was everyone's boss. 

I obeyed nonetheless, I didn’t want to deal with getting separated from everyone the instant we enter the emerald graves. I did a quick jog to catch back up, my eyes buzzing across the ever changing landscape. The bright greens around us, the patches of darker, shadowed spots deeper into the wood… It was like stepping inside the studio ghibli film… All I needed was soft violin music in the background. 

A gust of wind kicked my hair up, my cloak thundering around me, and I tried to calm both. 

“Damn…” I mumbled as my eyes fell on a statue buried under years of the forest trying to reclaim it, moss and vines curling around it with a tree that looked older than time stretching from the center of it, ruining whatever it once was. All I could tell was at the base was a plaque, with two stone feet visible. Perhaps it was once the only documentation of an ancient hero, or even… losing my trail of thought I suddenly realized I’d lagged a bit too far behind the caravan again.

I swore under my breath and hurried along. I wish Solas had been there, he’d have known the entire history of that statue. 

I walked along the side of the caravan until eventually I was side by side with Sari, who was riding her Hart. 

“What do you expect?” I called up to her. She jumped at my sudden appearance, shooting a very worried glance to me before responding.

“They’ll be near the path, it’s an old story but… we always pay tribute to Fen’Harel before travelling further into the Graves.” She said, her voice dropping and raising in pitch in rhythm with her horses steps. 

I near about laughed.

“You… You pay tribute to Fen’Harel and then what? He blesses your path?” I asked hopefully.

“Of course not, wow you really don’t know anything about elven heritage do you?” She scoffed, a violent urge to swear shuddered through my body but I fought it off. “No when you pray or give offerings to Fen’harel it's so he doesn’t get you lost or change your path… my mamae told me that my papae didn’t pray to Fen’Harel before hunting, and that’s why he died.”

I looked away from her, my face twisting it disbelief. The shit parents will tell their children! 

“So Fen’Harel… took him from you?” I asked softly. 

“Ha!” She barked a loud laugh, holding her stomach. “Creators, I don’t actually believe he was eaten by the six eyed, gigantic black wolf from my mamae’s stories. I think he was foolish with a bow and as drunk as they come… and the Leader of our clan, well you know, had to make an example… that's my mother.”

I wasn’t sure how to respond; I sympathized with her to a degree, it sounded a bit like my mother, but I never was terribly good in those situations. Comforting people, mainly people I didn’t know very well, was not my strong suit. Luckily I didn’t have to, Nira was sitting to the side of the road, her hood pulled down waiting for me, an easy out. 

“We’ll speak later,” I called up to Sari as she followed the caravan. She gave me a sad sort of nod but didn’t really respond. 

I slowed my pace until Nira was within a few feet of me. We hadn’t seen her since the morning, she’d been instructed to scout ahead as she was one of our fastest. 

“Nir,” I kicked a rock in her direction, the pebble bouncing off her boot. “How’s it looking?”

“Amazing actually, I’ve already marked out a perfect camping area to start,” She replied, reaching up and lowering her hood, her hair tied tightly back. “I may have heard a dragon but it sounded far off, not to mention… I saw a lot of rifts boss.”

“We knew they were a likelihood, figure out their radius and record the locations but don’t get too close… Also right a full report, focusing on the dragon and where it's at, and send it to Commander Cullen.” I grumbled, my full work mode clicking on. “And oh, hey, make sure to bring your report by me first.”

“Want to make sure I don’t tell him anything you don’t want him to know?” Nira said with a smirk.

“No,” I laughed, punching her shoulder. “I want to make sure that I read your full report because it’ll be more than the short hand you’re giving me now.” 

She grabbed my arm, pulling me down to her level so she could get her own punch in, and seemed to be going for a noogie when she realized Guardian was wrapping around her wrist, so she just pulled me into a headlock.

“Ah you’re little protector,” She chuckled, holding me still. “I almost forgot.”

“You’re-gkk-choking me-” I coughed out, “-lemmiegoshithead.”

She gave me a little squeeze- and I swear something popped- before letting go. I jumped up dramatically, gasping for air, acting like I almost DIED. 

“Don’t be such a drama queen,” Nira snorted, standing up and stretching out her arms. I slumped in defeat as Guard slithered back up my sleeve, something I’d never enjoy. He found a comfy spot wrapped loosely around my right arm. “I already told the Guard Captain where to take the caravan, and I’ve scouted the entire route soooo….”

“So?” I hummed, bouncing from one foot to the other, wondering if I should put on my boots. Nira was wearing hers, but the forest floor seemed plush.

“Soo, wanna go my way?” She chirped, crossing her arms behind her back and smiling widely at me. I tried to ignore the innuendo, a small laugh escaping me before I was nodding and following behind her. 

The rush of running through open forest was something I hadn’t felt since my childhood, the smell, the colors, it was like I was running through a memory. For a moment I thought perhaps I’d slipped into the fade, that this was a vision of my childhood and a demon had me in his grasp, but Nira tugged on my arm and the thought drifted off.

She moved like water through the trees, already she had the entire forest memorized. I tried to look around and take in my surroundings, the bright greens and blues blurring by as I ran. I looked back to Nira just as we turned a corner, her face almost smug as she glanced back at me. She turned her eyes back to the path when suddenly her posture changed, her arms flew back, her speed cutting in half as she ducked down onto her knees, sliding behind a bush. I fumbled after her and she angrily she reached back and yanked on my cloak, dragging me down to her level with a thud.

“Shh-!” She hushed, finger to her pursed lips. I rubbed the back of my head as I sat up next to her. She was peeking out through the bush- she’d spied something.

I hurried to my knees- gaining me another irritated shush from my companion, as I peered eagerly out the bush. A pack of wolves, if you can call two wolves a pack, were crouching down behind a small dip in a hill, and at the base of that hill was a man thrown over top of a woman. Two elves, both without much to call clothes on, were canoodling in what I assume is actually a great place to candoodle, when, you know, wolves aren’t around.

Nira slid her bow off her back, and I my staff. 

“I’ll get left,” I whispered, and she did a quick nod. “The wolves right, not the uh-”

“Yes Mel the wolves,” She snapped back, pulling an arrow out of her quiver.

“Oh good I just wanted to make sure, don’t know what's in your head you know,” I mumbled back as she rolled her eyes, knocking her arrow. “Right yeah.”

I lifted my staff just as the wolves lunged out from behind the dip, teeth barred. The one on the right went down fast, Nira spinning out from behind the bush and nailing it between the eyes with something of a flourish. The left one took me just a moment, I wasn’t very well trained in ranged attacks, most of what Solas had taught me was defense and like… around the house stuff. I spun my staff and cast what ended up being a rather wild ice spike spell, pounding one spike right in the wolf’s side sending him spinning, the others- about three of them- were sent spiraling off into the distance. 

Both of the naked elves let out visceral screams, fumbling to break from each other and get to their respective weapons, but stopping when they realized we had no interest in harming them. 

“You should put some pants on,” Nira huffed as she started walking towards them, lacing her bow back around her. I rolled my eyes, but they listened quite well, now searching for their long forgotten clothes. I however walked past them, and up the hill to the wolves.

I could still hear whimpering.

The one I’d struck hadn’t killed it, no it wasn’t a direct enough hit, I knew it wasn’t. The beast was panting, his blood in a pool that was getting bigger… the hit may not have killed him yet, but it would given time. His brown eyes met mine, wide and fearful. 

Dammit.

I pulled my sleeves up and grabbed my staff. 

“Mel put it out of it's misery,” Nira called from down the hill.

I knelt down by the wolf and he growled, his paws trying to push himself away but slipping in the blood. I put a hand to his side, the icicle melting in a puddle inside him. I near about gagged, a shudder of pure “ew?” spreading through my body. I shook it off, bringing my staff to my side, he growled louder. I begin to cast, focusing on the wound and suddenly he moved, spinning his head to gnash his teeth into my left forearm, his upper jaw mostly stopped by my armor, but his lower jaw digging through my chain mail and piercing my skin. Guardian immediately started moving, I could feel his anger at his inability to predict a dying wolves movements.

“No!” I snapped under my breath, and Guardian froze mid movement, stopping around my neck. The wolf shook my arm like it was a small animal it was trying to break the neck of, digging its teeth deeper into my arm. I suppressed a scream, blinking away tears as I cast deeper into his wound.

I watched as the magic did it's work, stitching his flesh back together, pulling his skin back in to place, and as I did I felt his teeth slowly start to pull back. The sound of a bone clicking back into place was accompanied by the sound of a big puppy licking his lips and starting to pant. He tilted his head side to side as he stared at me, his tongue still sticking out. He whined, licked where he had bitten... And then stood up. 

I watched as he shook the blood off; covering me in splattered blood and wolf hair, he then did a little spin and sat down. He sniffed at my face for a breath before throwing his head back in a long… echoing howl, resonating throughout the entire forest. I heard it bounce through the landscape at least ten times, before a distant, quiet howl rang out in response, and the wolf bolted. 

I stared after him for a while, not realizing Nira was at my side, dressing my wound.

“Seriously Mel? Can you stop being such a good person for five minutes?” She whispered with a sly smile as she helped me to my feet.

I turned back to see the two Elves now fully dressed and a few feet apart with very embarrassed faces. They were certainly Dalish what with Mythal’s Vallaslin tattooed across their faces and all, not to mention the way they were dressed. 

“Are you two alright?” I asked, suppressing a laugh, their situation was just terrible. 

“We’re fine, thank you. A-and thank you for saving us, we would’ve-” The boy started but slowly his voice faded out as a wave of realization washed over his face. “You’re inquisition.”

I glanced down to my pin that was neatly fastened to my cloak. Fucking loved my pin, hell yeah I’m with the inquisition! Represent!

“Yes, you sound surprised.” I replied. He sprang forward, and the girl crossed her arms in blatant irritation as he grabbed my shoulders; I near about screamed. 

“Sari!” He shouted, birds fluttering away at his sudden change in volume. “Sari Lavellan! Do you know where she is?!” 

“Yes!” I yelled back, glaring at him. “Yes I do and you don’t need to scream at me about it!”

He slowly let go, taking a step back. “Is she… Is she alive?” is voice was shaking, and for the first time I really looked at this kid, and yeah at this point I’m pretty sure this was in fact a teenager. He had a familiar face… a slant to his eyes that was almost identical to Sari’s. 

“Yes,” I replied, “She’s leading an inquisition party to find her clan right now.” 

The boy rushed me again, this time wrapping his arms around me in a hug, slanting blood all over his face and, well just all of him really, but when I did not return the hug, and instead hovered my arms in the air while his girlfriend made a really unpleasant face, he removed himself from my bubble. 

“Sorry, uh Ser.” He cleared his throat before taking several steps back, until he was side by side with his girlfriend. “You saved our lives, let us show you the way to our camp, my mamae would flay me if I didn’t bring you home.”

“Lead the way.” I said, making a short bow to them before leaning down to pick my staff up. 

“That was weird,” Nira said as she walked past me.

“Agreed,” I sighed back. I took a look around the small clearing, one dead wolf, a small patch of blood off to the side of that one… a howl in the distance. I shook my head, and followed after them. 

  
  


They didn’t lead us in the front door. They didn’t lead us in a side door. Nope! They lead us through a small cave that lead to a rope that lead up a hole that lead INTO an araval. The entire experience was… surreal. Some real romeo and juliet shit happening there. They had a long goodbye makeout session behind a curtain, and Nira and I were just supposed to be pretending we couldn’t hear anything… If I wasn’t tied to an elvhen god I might’ve had fun with this situation, but instead I was just standing there rubbing my knees together thinking about the great dream I was planning on having that night. 

She left out of one side of the aravel, and the three of us left out the other side. We pulled our hoods up as we stepped quickly out of the small room, the noon day sun making it difficult to sneak. He turned and locked the aravel, fumbling with his hands for a solid twenty seconds before Nira whispered to hurry up. He started stammering and someone across the way caught my eye. I reached forward and twisted my hand to the right, and the door locked. He almost dropped his keys.

“Let’s go,” I hissed, stepping between the two of them and dragging him along. 

“Left,” He muttered, “We don’t have to be sneaky, you’re safe with me.”

“Then why did we break in here? We could’ve gone through the front door.” I replied, pushing him to the front and following close behind him

“Li’rya is a hunter and I’m not, we’re not supposed to be together.” He snapped back. “If the Keeper finds out we were out there doing… what we were doing, I’d be dead!” 

I grumbled but understood, Dalish laws were… strange. A glance to Nira and I could see only her mouth under her hood but her energy was, well, angry to say the least. 

The camp was hastily made, and had clearly been attacked a number of times, guards on patrol, weapons at the ready… not to mention not a child or elderly person in sight. 

“Where is everyone?” I asked as he turned another corner.

“The Emerald Graves aren’t safe, those rifts keep opening up along our path, we can’t move on until they’re gone, and they won't go away until we complete the ritual.” He said stopping outside a rather large araval with a tent at the side of it. Nira and I exchanged a look.

“What ritual? It gets rid of rifts?” I asked.

“The Keeper said it's our only hope, that someone completes the path of Fen’Harel and that will remove his curse from this caravan.” He sighed, staring at the door to the araval. “I don’t think they were ever just stories for her, I think… Nevermind, let me go ahead, I’ll call you in.” 

He knocked on the door before entering the araval without even a look back, and Nira and I looked around nervously. 

“Seriously, the path of Fen’harel?” Nira snorted, I turned to her and must have made a confused face because she continued, “it’s a scary story we tell little children so they don’t run off into the woods whenever they see a handsome man. Or at least, that's how I took it.”

“What do you mean? Sari only ever mentioned it as the Path, she didn’t say anything else.” I brought my right hand up and clamped down on my wolf wound, pouring a bit of healing energy into it. It tingled. 

“You never heard this growing up?” She asked, I shook my head. “Damn, okay… well back when there weren’t any shemlen, and the gods walked among us, Fen’harel was this big trickster guy who liked messing with people and whatever, I don’t know I barely remember-” I snorted a laugh, “-Shut up.”

“Sorry, sorry go ahead.” I waved away my laughter and she sighed. 

“So this girl, this beautiful girl with long golden hair was tending to her flock of halla, but in her foolishness had drifted further than she had ever been into the forest before. So she prays to the gods for help, but Fen’harel answers. Now back then, Fen’harel just seemed like any other god, so she had no reason to not trust him. So he guides her through his waterfall, and tricks her into this big open cavern, and devours her and her halla.” She took a breath. “But he couldn’t eat the bones, so he left them, and from her bones grew a white willow that had flowers that bloomed like the fur of her halla.”

“Holy shit,” I muttered, “That’s… damn…” 

I thought about Solas, leading a beautiful girl into a cave and then… eating her. That could mean a few things actually. I hid a laugh. 

The door of the aravel flew open, and the boy- whose name I realized suddenly I never got- stepped down from it, holding the door open.

“Just you,” He said, pointing at me. “She wants to meet Fen’elgar.”

Oh no, oh god not a title that matched Solas’, fuck that noise. 

“It means-” He started but I cut him off.

I stepped up into the aravel, and sighing as I passed, “I know what it means.” 

_ Wolf Spirit, fitting I think. _ Guardian laughed from my arm, I don’t know when he’d moved back, but he hadn’t felt the need to interject for quite some time, weird that he would do it now. Maybe he felt bad that he didn’t block that wolf bite. I decided not to dwell on it, and continued into the avarel.

It was bigger than the others, but I could’ve told you that based on the outside, the inside was fancier than the last I’d seen. A couch and a coffee table, a carpet, some neat hanging lights that I didn’t understand, and a woman, sitting in a chair directly across from me, with a large curtain behind her hiding what I assumed was her bedroom. 

“My son tells me you have news of my sweet daughter, and that I would want to hear it directly from you, so you tell me… exactly how my daughter died.” The woman said, she was young but her eyes were older that her wrinkles, long brown hair braided in thick braids reaching her waist. She was dressed in unique clothes and strange beads that wrapped around her in loops on loops along with several long slender sticks poking through her braid. 

“You must be the Keeper,” I started but she shook her head.

“No pleasantries until I know. How. Did. My. Only. Daughter. Die.” it wasn’t in any way a question, a demand, a need.

“She lives.” Was all I could say. I watched her expecting relief or joy but she only fiddled with a loop of beads that lay in her hand. She was quiet, frowning for a moment, before she nodded. 

“And my Son?” She asked, her voice wavering. “I’ve heard no word of my eldest.”

“He… He is alive, but unfortunately he didn’t travel to the Graves with us, he is on a scouting mission for the Inquisition at this moment.” I replied carefully, I didn’t know anything about this woman except that she was Sari and Sorrian’s mother, that and what Sari told me about their father. That seemed to gain her at least some small reaction, she exhaled a breath and leaned back in her chair. 

“This news… Even it could not bring me joy in this sorrowful times…” She sighed, her hand to her forehead as though she was sweating profusely. I tried to hide my displeasure with her response though I found it hard, who in their right mind wouldn’t be happy to hear their children were alive? “Still this nightmare plagues me, that damned wolf.”

“If I may,” I cleared my throat, tucking my hands behind my back. She looked angrily towards me, like she’d forgotten I was in the room. “You did say pleasantries after news. My name is Melana, Head Advisor to the Inquisition, and I’ve come to the Emerald Graves to help you.” 

“Help me? The only way you- and outsider- could help me is by leaving me alone.” She huffed, her glare heavy on me. 

“I… I was sent by the Lady who owns the land you’re camping on, she claimed you were flying our banners and cohorting with demons.” I replied, trying to keep my professional demeanor. “I hope to broker a truce between the two parties so that you may be free to do as you please.”

“You think I want to be camped out where demons are known to rampage?!” She shouted, jumping up from her chair suddenly and taking two steps towards me. I didn’t move. She crossed the floor until she stood dead in front of me, her eyes meeting mine, “We cannot move forward until the path of Fen’Harel is completed, and none here are fit to carry out the task!” 

“Then I will walk the path!” I shouted back, daring to take a step forward into her space, causing her to startle back. She stared wide eyed at me, before she started to laugh. She fumbled back to her seat, slowly lowering herself into it, laughing all the while. “You find that funny?”

“You are a  _ city elf _ , little more than a shemlen.” She chuckled, crossing her legs. “You know not what you offer to do, and are certainly not worthy of the task.”

I felt guardian buzzing on my arm. I covered him, arm over my chest.

“You’ve already called me Fen’elgar, if anyone is fitting to take Fen’harel’s path it’s me.” I said calmly back, the bite of her insult only a slight sting. “I’ve got the blood of an elf, wether I was born in a house or an araval.”

She scoffed, hiding her smile behind her hand as her eyes drifted off and she seemed to ponder it only a moment before looking back to me.

“You will be permitted to go, though you’ll need a guide. Take my daughter with you, as apparently you’ve brought her with.” She  pulled a long pipe out from behind the curtain as she spoke, the thing was wooden and ornate, small carvings decorating the length of it. With it she plucked one of the long sticks out of her hair and dangled it over the heat source of the room, a small stone cup that rested on a table next to her. The end of the stick caught fire the minute she tapped it to the cup. “You’ll go tonight if you want us gone that badly.” 

Her words sunk in and I scowled. 

“Would you not prefer to see your daughter before we venture down this path?” I snapped back, finding it harder and harder to endure her blatant disregard for Sari’s entire existence. My fists were in tight balls behind my back as I stared her down, waiting for a response as she lit her pipe, shaking out the match before taking a long, long drag. I started tapping my foot, trying to communicate my impatience with this exchange. She looked away from me, holding her breath. Smoke rose from her pipe, thick and dark, specks of… red? Perhaps some kind of crystal, that certainly couldn’t be good for her.

She parted her lips and ever so slowly smoke poured from her words.

“I’ll see my daughter when she completes the path.” Each syllable a new puff of smoke that was drowning my senses, overwhelming me. The smell- the taste- was almost fruity, heavy and intense, almost like blood but… making my head spin. Guardian went wild on my arm, rushing in every which way, like he was lost. “Ah I should have warned you, this particular strain of Royal Elfroot can be dangerous for… untrained mages.”

“I-” I tried to speak but was disrupted by a coughing fit, my hand flying to my throat as I choked on air. “I can’t-”

“Don’t try and speak child, you’ll only strain yourself.” She sighed, pulling the pipe back to her lips. “You can go now, our conversation is over.”

I spun, which was a mistake, my vision lagging behind my body, making the world spiral out of control. I stumbled down the steps out of her araval, my hands hot and heavy as I tried to open the door. 

“Oh, and good luck Fen’elgar, you’ll surely need it.” 

  
  


I ran out of that room, slamming the door behind me and rushing into the warm afternoon air, Nira’s arms catching me as I almost fell over. The smoke followed me out further than I expected, a huge waft of nasty elfroot smoke still lingering around me before a breeze pushed it away.

“What was that?” Nira coughed, covering her mouth with the back of her hand. “It smells like elfroot but…”

“But coppery? Yeah I got that too,” I choked out, my voice hoarse. I shook the last of the elfroots effects from my head, my entire body buzzing just from the contact high. If the contact was that bad, what was the actual high like? I straightened myself out, thanking Nira for catching me before standing up straight, stretching out my back. 

That boy was still here, staring at me.

“Did it go okay?” He asked, though his expression said he knew it didn’t.

“It uh… No, not particularly.” I sighed, pulling my hood back up. “She wants Sari and I to complete Fen’harel’s path. Tonight.”

Nira frowned, her brow pursed with something akin to concern. She motioned for us to start moving towards the exit.

“That’s not a good idea,” Sari whispered as we started walking, her voice getting harsher as she spoke. “Fen’harel’s path ends with a pretty blonde girl dead and turned into a tree.”

“Don’t think I don’t realize that, I’m not excited about it, but it’s the only way this woman and all her people will leave!” I snapped back, almost laughing the while, it was stupid, I shouldn’t have volunteered for it, certainly SOMEONE was better for the task! Ugh, and my argument,  _ “You’re the idiot who called me Fen’elgar!”  _ Or at least, that’s what I was thinking when I said it. I’m sure I actually said something much more profound. 

We turned a corner into a small sort of campfire circle, a few aravals setup, one of which being the one we snuck in through, only not the side we came out. The girl, the one our guide had been boinking, was sitting next to several other girls and a few older men around the warmth of the fire. 

They all looked up when we walked in.

“Alaras!” One of the older men said with a laugh to his voice. “We were wondering when you would get back from the morning halla walk!”

The group of them all started laughing loudly, save the girl he’d been, well, you know. She sat solemnly, face aimed at the ground.

Alaras- which was apparently this kids name- stomped by, ignoring them and walking towards a path behind one of the aravals. Nira and I hurried after.

“Alaras come on!” The same guy shouted after him, “Introduce your pretty friends to us!”

“Uncle Advar stop,” One of the girls whispered, “You’re drunk and married,”

I hid a laugh as we hurried by, their voices fading out to an argument behind us. Alaras however was glancing back the minute the man was out of view, eyes meeting with… uh… I don’t remember her name, he’d said it once I think. I shot a nervous look to Nira as we walked.

“What?” She whispered.

“What was Alaras’ girlfriends name?” I asked.

“Li’rya. He didn’t shut up about her the entire time you were talking to his mom.” She replied, she looked exhausted from it all. 

I lunged forward, putting an arm around Alaras’ shoulder, he seemed shocked by the motion, and if he wasn’t a sheep herder, he probably wouldn’t have reacted well. 

“Hey, kid, if you like this girl, uh, Li-Li’rya?”- He nodded, I continued, “Li’rya, you should just be with her, I mean the Keeper is your mom, you can probably just talk to her, work it out.”

“You… You met the Keeper didn’t you?” He laughed, his voice that of a defeated man. “She’d never let me woo Li’rya, it’s just not how things work.”

I tried to find the words for this, there had been a similar problem in Dragon Age Origins, in fact I think it was literally the same thing. But if you matched them up, the Keeper gave you shit about it and made it out to seem like a bad move. Maybe I just… I pulled my arm back from him, taking a few steps back to walk with Nira instead. I didn’t always have to be the one to encourage mayhem, or even happiness. That and I really didn’t want to piss of his mom. 

We passed through what must have been the opening to their camp, or at least, what they’d marked off as the opening to their camp. A few guards were walking back and forth, but seemed to ignore us as we strolled out. Alaras walked us about thirty feet out before stopping and turning to face us.

“I can’t go any further,” He stared up at us through his lashes, as though he wanted us to just take him with us. “The Keeper has forbidden it.”

“Okay, well Sari and I should be back tonight to uh, report on how the path went.” I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck. “I guess.”

He seemed… dissatisfied with my response, but there wasn’t much else for me to say. As much as I wanted to take him straight to his sister, his mother had forbidden it for some reason, and I needed this alliance to work. Nira and I said our final goodbyes, and he pointed us towards the main road looking like a sad puppy before walking sadly back to camp. It didn’t take us very long to find the road, Nira had already scouted the area, in fact she had planned to take me by the camp from a distance. 

“You could’ve told me you spotted the Dalish,” I scoffed, but she only shrugged, saying something about wanting to show, not tell. We doubled back along the road about a quarter mile before coming to a cart sized path just off the road. We followed it, talking quietly about our plans as I tried not to fall down the gravel. I told her about how scary Sari’s mom had been, and Nira mentioned the smoke again.

“There was something red in it, did you see?” I asked, we’d just gotten to the base of a rather long decline, and were finally walking evenly again. I could hear the camp nearby, clanging, rather loud talking, and one person singing off key. 

“Like a powder?” Nira pondered. 

“No… Like flecks of something. And what did she say to me? Something about it being too strong for “ _ Untrained mages” _ ?” I mumbled, but Nira was not longer listening as her brother was now in her sights, no instead she was running, ready to pounce him. My thoughts got pushed to the side, I had to find Sari and get this over with. I left Nira to her fun, walking by a few guards who seemed to be scoping out the perimeter. 

The camp was set up under a large cliff, strange trees swirling around the outcropping making our tents slightly hidden from the path, and certainly hidden from the main road. They had a fire lit already, and four large tents were set up to the back of the cave, with a handful of smaller ones around the outside. Sari was prominent, sitting on a log by the fire, hands in her lap while looking around nervously. She was the only one not rushing around doing something. 

I pushed into the camp and walked over to her, I could tell a lot of people wanted my attention, everyone jumping at the sight of me, but I beelined to Sari. She startled as I approached her, scooting to the opposite end of the log.

“Sari, a moment?” I only paused in front of her before continuing to what I could only assume was my tent, the biggest, fanciest one. No one seemed to correct me, so I just walked inside. 

It was not what I was expecting. During travel we’d had very simple, small tents, this one was… like a war tent from a movie. There was a large table in the middle with a map of the Emerald Graves on it, and a few things scattered about it, quills, inkwells, that kind of stuff. Beyond that there was my bed, furs and cotton sheets, at least big enough for three people, with more pillows than I’d seen in my entire move to Thedas. There was a lounging area, and even a dining table with a few chairs at it, and all around the room there were strange orbs that seemed to illuminate light throughout the entire space. It was like day time in there. 

Sari stepped into my tent, near about smacking into me, as I hadn’t ventured very far in yet.

“Ah- Sorry,” I laughed, walking further into the tent, pulling my pack off and laying it on my bed. “I was surprised by the fanciness of it all.” 

“Is this not how your tent usually looks?” Sari asked, walking over to the dining table and sitting down. I started pulling this and that out of my pack, laying out my clothes and knick knacks. 

“No,” I sighed, “I didn’t even know we brought the supplies for a tent like this.”

“Too bad you don’t have anyone to share it with, seeing as how Lord Trevelyan is likely on the other side of Ferelden by now.” She replied, a smile to her voice. I looked over my shoulder at her, she was smirking but it was more in excitement then malice. 

“The Herald and I have a totally platonic relationship.” I replied flatly, looking back to my clothes.

“Really?” She asked, sounding genuinely disappointed. “But Sera said she saw hickies on your hip, and one the back of your neck!”

I froze, my mind blaring with alarms, when- what, wait okay… There… there were certainly times when something like that COULD have happened, but I’d been meticulous about… healing… well at least, the ones I could see easily…

“So if you’re not lovers with the Herald then…?” Her voice faded out, the same smug smile across her face. I cleared my throat, standing up straight and patting myself down. I unhooked my pauldron and laid it down on the bed.

“Just bruises,” I offered, though she seemed to ignore it, standing up from the table and sauntering over to me. “Training has been intense you know.”

“Uh huh.” She hummed, continuing over to me. “So there's no one?”

“I-” I laughed, “Are you hitting on me?”

I turned to face her but she was already to me, far too close far too quickly. I went to step back but my thighs hit the bed. She was taller than me, her hair silhouetting her face in the strangely perfect light. I shot a glance to her lips, she noticed.

“Is that a bad thing?” She whispered, daring to close the distance between us.

“Are you… just doing this because you want to sleep in the nicer tent?” I asked, keeping my voice as quiet as hers, but no where near as seductive. That seemed to throw her for a loop, her eyes buzzing between mine as she tried to figure out what to say. She frowned, pursing her lips.

“I mean… it’s such a nice tent.” Sari replied, stepping back from me and starting to chuckle. “You really saw through me fast!”

“It was a little obvious.” I replied, turning back to my bed, continuing to take off the heavier bits of my armor. “Your mother has decided you and I will be following the path of Fen’harel.”

Another curveball, she was halfway sitting back down, but stopped mid sit. She just sort of hovered for a second before… slowly lowering down. 

“That’s… not the best news.” She sighed, crossing her legs at her knees and resting her chin in her palm. “I assume she wants me to go because I know the way, but why you?”

“I kinda sorta volunteered.” I winced, undoing the last strap on my chestplate. “I figured it’s pretty straightforward though right?”

“It’s… I mean, sure. Just don’t take that armor off, you’re going to need it.”

  
  


An hour later and I was standing across from Sari and Nira at the map table. Apparently Fen’harel’s path was hidden behind a waterfall, of which there were several in the Graves, luckily we had Sari who knew exactly which one it was. However, the path was more than dangerous, as many demons had been seen in those particular areas. Beyond that, the path itself was treacherous, bits of it falling away over time, making it harder and harder each year to actually get in there. Sari said that the last time someone followed Fen’harel’s path, their mind turned twisted by what they saw, and no one was allowed to do it after.

We would leave in half an hour, a team of five would escort us to where we needed to go, and then Sari and I would travel inside alone. I wasn’t excited, mostly because of the demons, slightly because of the guy who went crazy. 

The two of them exited my tent and I had a moment to breath. Half an hour to breath. I should write Solas an update. He’d want to know I’d arrived safely, and the hilarious situation I was in. I sat down at the head of the table where a few scrolls were available for me to write on, there was even a wax sealer thingy! 

I wrote, “Hahren, You should know I’ll be following the path of Fen’harel, the Dalish claim that a girl was once tricked and eaten by the Dread Wolf himself, but I’m not sure how true that is, perhaps you’ll have better insight. Sari and I are leaving soon so this letter must be quick. You would love it here, it’s beautiful, but perhaps you’d find it sad. We should return together some day. -Melena.”

I blew the scroll dry, rolled it, sealed it, and then called for a raven. A woman appeared, one of Leliana’s, who happily took the letter, asked it’s destination, and then left with it. No doubt to go read it, copy it, reseal it and then send a copy of it to Leliana. I tried to be vague in my letter, I hadn’t been in my first one, but that one was sent by Nira, and sealed magically. Only Ben could open it! A trick that Sera told me about actually, and I had to do a bit of digging for in a few of Solas’ books. 

Speaking of Sera, I hadn’t seen her since the morning. She’d been grumbling about travel food and making crude jokes about demons.   
I glanced around the camp but didn’t spot her, certainly her tent was one of the ones next to mine. I poked into the one to my left, but it had several beds, and a lot of boxes. The one to my right was a two bedder, with a sort of, food setup? Cutting tables and what not. I shrugged and turned away from my Sera search, she was a grown woman without any orders, she was probably off harassing a pretty girl.   
I made my way up the path to the main road, where we were meant to be meeting. The walk was calming save the sad hill that was far too rocky; the forest was beyond alive with buzzing and chirping from every kind of bug or animal, making my skin itch. Too many bugs. The road wasn’t much better, a cobble path with messes of foliage trying to overtake it. I didn’t wait long, Nira and Sari appeared a few minutes later, along with our escort. 

Sera was among them, her bow in hand, hair and face a mess. Had she been sleeping? No, her eyes were awake, but her cheeks were flushed.

“Ready?” I asked, stretching out. I got nods from most everyone, and with Sari at the front of the pack, we started moving.

  
  


We broke from the main road almost immediately, having to carefully climb through the forest, ducking and crawling under certain things, while other times having to climb a 90 degree angle using vines from the dead tree at the top. All the while, following a river. Sera was having fun at the other side of it, she’d crossed it pretty early on, claiming it was a strategy for sneaking up on demons. I didn’t much care, she’d caught about twelve small crab like creatures and stuffed them in her bag. I wondered if she planned to eat those raw. 

The first rift we found was already wrought with demons, the worst of them a large rage demon that seemed to just stand there, quivering with anger. They were waiting of course, and we had no way of dealing with them. So we spent a moment so Nira could mark it on the map and then we would take a long and arduous detour to avoid the rift. The second was at the base of a hill that we kind of had to go directly through, so avoiding it wasn’t much of an option. We had two options: A. Try and sneak through the area. B. Just fuck up their shit and run until they stop following us.

We decided to sneak, but would use Plan B if needed.

Nira and Sari lead the pack, slowly moving from large object to large object, crawling across the terrain, being as silent as possible. There was a gap between a tree and a large bush, and a fear demon not far off, I could hear it's raspy breath… I looked ahead of me, where Nira was waving me forward from behind a large boulder. 

I inhaled, before rushing forward, sliding behind the bush just as the fear demon turned away from me. 

The rest of the trip was far less dramatic, we ran into one more rift which was at the bottom of a cliff with no possible means of escape for the demons. In fact, if I was right, Ben could close the rift from up above! 

Finally, after what felt like eons, we were standing next to a gigantic waterfall, it was the widest I’d probably ever seen, with some water that fell here, and more that seemed to flow off a hill in another direction. Next to it was a smaller waterfall, one that split off from the main one and flowed separately down and curved towards the left. 

“Set up out here for a while,” Sari called, waving the group over. I could hear Sera trying to clomp through some water nearby. “The path is through there, we’ll be gone at most two hours, any longer than that and you need to send someone in after us.”

“Fuck me is it really that bad?” I swore under my breath. Nira shrugged next to me. I sighed, lifting my cloak off from around my shoulders and handing it to Nira, I wouldn’t need it going in. 

Sari turned from us and started walking towards the falls. I made sure my sketchbook was firmly secured in my shoulder bag before hurrying after her. 

“I can see why it would be confusing to find this place,” I called after her, trying to match her pace. “The waterfall is so big.”

“That was the point of it, why Fen’harel tricked her in here, he didn’t think anyone could ever find her.” She replied darkly, pulling her staff off her back, we’d reached the base of the falls, standing next to the smallest one. She had to yell the next bit quite loud. “Fortunately… The Dalish kept telling the story, and found the path again.”

She pushed her staff into the water and the falls parted for her, revealing a small, dark pathway. I groaned to myself, regretting this entire thing as she started to wave me in, irritated I was taking so long. I stepped inside, the damp smell of an ancient cave accompanied by the smell of fresh, running water. Sari stepped quickly in after me, dropping the part behind her and shaking her staff off.

“Forward,” She said, pointing down the cave.

“Yeah I mean it’s the only direction,” I replied, pulling my own staff off my back and casting a small light spell. The tunnel illuminated wasn’t much better than the tunnel dark, I could see a bit better, but it still eventually was dark. There was constant dripping, and after a while the sound of the waterfall faded out, and all I could hear was our footsteps and our breathing. Just as I was beginning to wonder if the path ever had an end, we came to a fork in the road.

“This… I’ve never been this deep.” Sari whispered, her voice echoing only slightly. “We’re supposed to just, I don’t know, feel the way to go.”

“And if we’re wrong?” I asked, licking my lips. 

“I… people didn’t always come back out of this.” She replied meekly, staring at the ground. I looked between the paths, the two of them appearing… seemingly the same. 

“Look around for, I don’t know, differences or something. A clue.” I said, starting to do the same. There had to be something, some kind of answer to this puzzle. We searched for what felt like a lifetime, but was probably just ten minutes. We looked under, above and around, turning things over, casting fire down the hallways, looking for footprints… but nothing. “Okay, well… the story goes that Fen’harel guided her right?”

“Yeah? And?” She snapped. 

“Well, why don’t we pray to Fen’harel?” I was already sitting down on the ground, staff placed in front of me, assuming the position Solas always sat in when he entered the fade. 

“You’re… You’re serious?” She scoffed. 

“You don’t think-” I started but she cut me off.

“No, not that, I just… I’ve never met anyone like you.” She hummed, mimicking me. I decided not to dig into that, knowing that it wasn’t the time for deep conversations. I entered the fade faster than I thought I would, the veil must’ve been extremely thin, because my connection was strong, more so than it should’ve been when meditating. I could feel Sari’s presence near me, but ignored it, focusing on Solas instead. 

I could probably contact him and just ask which way to go, I mean, he built this path didn’t he? I focused on Solas, his face, voice and smell, trying to pull him into being but found… nothing. It was just quiet. The fade was quiet. In fact it was… not what I’d expected it to be at all, it was real, too real, usually it was like a memory, or an echo, but this was not. And I was in the cave still. Just standing there alone. I heard laughter, a bright and mirthful sound spreading all around me, slowly getting closer. I leaned against the wall of the cave just as two elves came barreling down the hallway, hand in hand. They went right, and I followed after them. I recognized one of them right away, I’d already seen him as a child, but this was a bit later on. 

Fen’harel himself, hand in hand with a small girl with long golden curls. Another fork, they went left. I followed close behind. The girl was maybe ten, tan skin and freckles, bare dirty feet and- the stark black lines of Vallaslin caught in the light. A slave girl. Three paths, the two don’t slow, taking the middle most path. 

“Uncle do you really mean it?” The little girl called, “Will we really run far away?” 

Her voice was garbled, and suddenly Solas stopped to look down at her. He responded but it fell on deaf ears; I could not hear him. The images of them flashed to Solas, much older, his head now bald, eyes tired, holding her hand. She was older, maybe in her late teens, her vallaslin gone. They stood in the same place in a similar, yet starkly different conversation. 

“We don’t have time Solas!” She shouts it, throwing her fists against his chest. “If we don’t get them out now then all of this will have been for nothing!” 

Cut back to the younger versions of them, now hand in hand again, running, 8 paths, they jump between spaces, young and old, old running to the second while young take the fourth, running into the light. 

  
  


I woke up gasping, startling Sari across from me. I try to catch my breath, hands to my chest. 

“Did Fen’harel answer your prayers?” She asked sarcastically, standing up. I followed her, stumbling to my feet. 

“I’m not sure it was him, but sure… I know the path.” I replied, picking my staff up off the ground. 

“Really?” She smiled, almost excited. 

“Right, left, middle, and then middle again.” I replied evenly, already walking to the right. She didn’t ask for more of an explanation, and I… wasn’t sure I wanted to give one. It seemed to be something of a private moment between Solas and his, I guess, niece?

We followed the path as I told it, talking as we went, both of us tired of the silence. I told her of her little brother, and his romeo and juliet situation. She laughed, amazed that the two weren’t just together yet, as apparently they’d been sneaking around for awhile now. We strolled through the maze with ease, passing through the last room and into the last tunnel. In my vision they’d been surrounded by light, but in truth we walked for quite some time before coming to a door. 

I wiggled the knob, and pushed, expecting a bright light or maybe moonlight as it was night time but… It was a room.

It was a room, and I was surprised by it. A small, maybe 10x10 room, with an angry looking wolf statue with a plaque on it . 

Sari stepped forward, her eyes twinkling in the darkness as she approached the statue. I however didn’t really care about the statue, there was something off about the entire thing. It wasn’t what Solas, or whoever, showed me. It was a tiny room, and I was expecting… more. I huffed in annoyance and walked back to the entrance of the small room, where tunnel met door. I closed the door with Sari inside, bringing my light forward to really,  _ really,  _ look at the door. 

It was wooden, and… not old. Everything in here was meant to be old, this was new, this had been put in relatively recently. I opened the door back up to see Sari put her hand in the mouth of the wolf.

“I don’t think that's the best idea!” I shouted, running into the room and reaching for her, but I was too late. Just as she turned to argue with me, the wolf’s jaw clamped down, puncturing her palm and causing blood to pour out into it's mouth. 

“What did you do?” I snapped, grabbing at the wolf’s jaw and desperately trying to pull it apart. 

“I followed the instructions on the plaque!” She yelled back, yanking on her arm. I was about to scream out a string of expletives, but just as the first curse slipped from my lips, the wolf left go, and we both went fumbling back. The wolf shook before something shifted in the ground, the sounds of stone grinding against stone as the wolf sunk into the earth. Sari and I both stood in awe and confusion as the wall then began to sink into the ground as well, and a room beyond it was now visible.

We exchanged a look. I peered inside. There was a… a smell, a familiar, bad smell. I walked inside and instantly I knew what it was. There was a buzzing in my skin, fuck- in my bones, that I knew could only be one thing. I cast a fireball into the room and it came alive, red lyrium illuminating the huge cavern. The fireball hit the wall at the other side, bursting against it and lighting the ground on fire. 

“Don’t come in here,” I called back to Sari, covering my mouth with my sleeve. If this was the path of Fen’harel then it had a weirder ending that I thought. I stepped into the clearing, careful not to let my bare feet touch any lyrium. There was a plant growing rather enthusiastically in the space, mixing with the lyrium. I didn’t know it could do that. 

_ We need to leave this place. _ Guardian growled from my arm. I wanted to agree right away, but something had called me to this room and I needed to know what.  _ Mel, you need to run. _

I scoffed, not understanding why he thought I couldn’t handle Red Lyrium for two or three minutes, but when he pinched my shoulder, and I turned instinctively… I realized why he wanted me to run.

“A-a-a pr-pride,” I stuttered, taking a step back. How had I not noticed it before? 

_ A pride demon, _ Guardian grumbled, zooming down to cover my fist.  _ We can’t fight it. _

“Shit, shitshit-” I stumbled backwards, falling over my own feet, landing on one of the plants, and then suddenly I realized what it was. Royal Elfroot, tainted by red lyrium. I scrambled back up onto my feet, kicking the shit up as I ran back to the entrance, grabbing Sari and running out of that room, and slamming the door behind me. 

“What the in Mythal’s name-” She breathed as we rushed through the hallway and back out to the last opening. “What happened?”

“First of all,” I gasped, air unable to reach my lungs. “That was the wrong way, secondly! I think your mother is smoking some very, very bad Elfroot.”

“What?” She laughed. “My mom doesn’t smoke elfroot.”

“Well now she does, I guess stress can do a lot to a woman.” I replied, walking over to the second hallway and turning down it. Sari was quiet as we walked down this path, seemingly not wanting to talk about her mother. I didn’t blame her. The walls stopped being cave like, there were torches every few feet, and Sari and I took turns lighting them so that we could see the beautiful murals along the path. They told stories of elves, of one who stood above the rest, a girl. A girl who loved her halla and her family. There were paintings of her dancing, or singing, paintings of her caring for the sick. I ran my fingers along the wall of the cave as we came to a door. 

“This isn’t… This is strange.” Sari whispered, her hands travelling over the ornate iron door. I stepped towards her, putting my hand to the door as well. I felt… magic. The door was sealed. 

“If the Dalish have been walking the path then why would this door be closed?” She continued, waving her hand over the wards as though she could break them. “The handle has some kind of incinerating curse, not to mention, the lock itself is too strong, we’d need a hundred mages to break it.”

“Or someone who knows what the key looks like.” I mumbled, stepping forward and putting my hand on the handle, which she tried to stop, jumping forward to grab me, but I smacked her off. The handle tingled, but it was far too familiar. Even after all those years Solas still used the same spell to lock his shit. We’d need to have a talk about that. I imagined the key and willed it through, and… the door opened with ease. 

“How did you…?” She whispered, stepping through the door but not daring to touch it. 

“I guess I’m in Fen’harel’s favor.” I chuckled, following after her. The door lead to a huge cavern with a large hill, a white willow resting atop it, the star filled sky visible through it's branches. At first I didn’t see it, too captivated by the wild flowers and cotton leaves, but as my eyes settled with the new lighting, I saw it. An intact eluvian imbedded at the base of the tree and reached at least twelve feet up it's trunk. “Sari… Look.”

“I… I see it.” She whispered next to me, her hand finding mine. We both walked up to the edge of the eluvian, our reflections wavering like it was a watery surface. It was still alive. I reached out, putting a hand to it's surface. It was cold, but if I pushed-

“Don’t! Do you know how dangerous these things are?” She pulled me away from it, yanking me in the other direction. I grumbled in irritation as she continued. “I heard someone went crazy because of one of these!”

“I… fine, look around, see what you can find.” I sighed, stepping away from it. I’d come back tomorrow morning with Nira, she’d wanted to see it anyway. The two of us broke apart from one another, she stayed there to stare at it more, and I actually started searching the area for more clues. I walked around to the back of the tree and found exactly what I was looking for.

A grave stone.

The encryption was in elvish and it was… advanced. I pulled my notebook out and copied it down really quickly, trying to get the curve of one of the letters just right. After I’d finished, I realized there was something resting on the grave, a small box. I didn’t want to… pry… 

I picked up the box. Not locked but a spell on it for sure. An alarm maybe? I couldn’t disarm it. If I opened this then Solas would probably know about it. I ran my thumbs over the box, considering but eventually putting it down. It would still be there tomorrow morning.

“Did you find anything?” Sari asked, her voice far closer than I expected. In my panic of not wanting her to see what was in the box, I tucked it quickly into my bag. She appeared from around the corner, a smile on her face. 

“Nope!” I lied with a smile, jumping to my feet. “Just this gravestone, probably that girl from the stories.” 

“Oh,” She hummed, coming to stand at my side. “That’s surprising, I thought the tree was supposed to be her gravestone.”

“I’m more surprised by the giant eluvian, you know?” I laughed, walking by her with a pat to her shoulders. There was a strange buzzing to my skin as I walked by the tree, so I shot a quick glance around. I had noticed it early on, the strangeness to the veil throughout the entire area, but there was my proof. One of Solas’ little fade orbs resting on the ground, half buried in grass just waiting to be activated. “Let’s head back, I’m sure they’re getting worried about us.” 

With the weight of the box heavy on my person, the two of us walked back out, carrying a polite conversation about the eluvian and what it meant. 

 

We met back up with everyone else, and had apparently only been gone about an hour, and in that time they’d made a rather cozy little camp. Sari was immediately sent with Sera and another scout to return to the Dalish and inform them of our accomplishment, while the rest of us would meet them back at the main camp. As Sari, Sera, and nameless NPC vanished into the forest, I turned to Nira. 

“Wanna see Fen’harel’s path?” I asked, almost giddy. Luckily she was giddy in return, and ten minutes later we were walking through the dark and damp hall towards the first fork. 

“Is there a dead girl at the end?” Nira asked, still the same level of excitement in her voice. I only laughed in response, heading right with her behind me. We walked easily though the next few forks, her asking me half a million questions, and me quietly refusing to acknowledge any of them. I almost went down the middle and the eight way fork, but decided not to, that was for Sari to deal with. 

We took the second path all the way to the murals, where we had to stop for a while for Nira to really soak them in. She was amazed by every line, wondering how they were so well preserved, how they had survived all this time. Eventually I was able to tear her away, straight through the door, and into the tree room.

“I was going to come back tomorrow morning, but there was something I needed to do tonight and I wasn’t sure I wanted to do it with Sari here.” I sighed, pulling the box from my bag. “Let’s check out the Eluvian first.”

She nodded in excitement and bolted up the hill with me walking slowly up behind her. She immediately put her hand through it, too excited to fight the urge. I laughed after her, pulling her back from it. 

“Don’t do that something might grab your hand on the other side,” I teased, letting go of her shoulder and walking by her, towards the fade orb thing. Activate that, then put the box back, and we’re good to go. I heard her laugh as I walked down the hill, holding my staff out to the orb. I didn’t know exactly how to do this, so I simply extended my aura into it, exploring it. It seemed… alive almost, and as I explored it with my energy I felt some pieces starting to click, as though it was a puzzle. 

“Uh- Mel?!” Nira shouted from the front of the tree. 

“Just, hold on!” I called back, clicking another magical piece together. 

“How about now?!” Nira screamed, and I suddenly realized something was desperately wrong. I let go of my project and lept forward, speeding up the hill to her side. She was sitting on the ground, an arrow nocked and ready, aiming for the eluvian. The Mirror pulsed like ripples on a pond, and she fired into it blindly. “Something touched me!” 

“Touched you?” I scoffed, “Nira I was just kidding, it's just a dead road in there, no one walks it anymore, not even spirits.” 

I turned to face the mirror, tucking the box back into my bag, I didn’t need her asking questions about it. I walked over to it, and placed my hand to the surface. It was certainly acting… stranger than it should. I pushed my hand inside, waving around, but felt nothing. I pulled out and turned back to her, shrugging.

“Nothing there.” I said, walking in front of her as she lowered the bow. “It was probably just weird fade stuff.”

“Weird… fade stuff?” She mumbled, staring past me to the mirror. Suddenly her bow was back and tighter than before, aimed behind me as she tried to scoot further back. I groaned and sagged my shoulders.

“There’s some kind of giant monster behind me isn’t there? Something straight out of a scary story right?” I groaned, slowly turning around.

“Impressive guess vhenan.” Came a familiar chuckle, a chuckle I hadn’t been expecting. My eyes locked with his, meeting that icey blue. I probably heard Nira make a joke behind me, but I didn’t care, all I cared about was the smell filling my senses, the sight of him crowding my vision and- what in thedas was he wearing? Ornate, complex elven decorative armor, with an over the top wolf pelt that hung down like a tail behind him. Really selling it huh? 

“What are you doing here?” I whispered, hands travelling up his chest, making sure this was real and I was awake. He only smiled and exhaled a breath, his hands making their own way up my body, settling on my hips. 

“Benjamin was not capable of convincing me to stay away. Though he does send his love.” He whispered back, the distance between us quickly getting smaller as my arms slid over his shoulders to rest behind his head. His grip around my waist grew tighter very suddenly, yanking me in for a fierce kiss that sent waves through my body, and an ache arose in me that felt forgotten. 

I broke the kiss far sooner than I would have normally wanted, and damn did I want, he tasted like sweat and sex and I could’ve just kept kissing him until sunrise if he’d let me, but no. Nira was still there, and he was dressed like lord wolfington the fucking wolf king, not to mention had just walked through an eluvian, and then kissed me. 

“You… you shouldn’t be here, you’re supposed to be in the storm coast,” I tried to slide out of his grasp but couldn’t bring myself to close the distance between us. “I can handle this.”

“I never doubted your ability to throw yourself into the face of danger.” He replied, his eyes glazing past mine to Nira who was sort of just sitting there shocked. “I got your letter, this path can be dangerous for those who don’t have the gift to navigate it.”

“I did just fine.” I smiled back, finally taking a step away from him. He lifted a single brow, smirking down at me, like he knew I didn’t do super fine. Which he very well may have. 

“Okay can I get an explanation?” Nira chirped from her spot on the ground, which she didn’t seem willing to give up. “Start with why Solas is dressed like that, and then to why he just mashed faces with you when you continuously told me that wasn’t a thing.”  

I turned to face her, but Solas stopped me, smirking. 

“I apologize Nira, allow me to explain, you deserve that at the very least.” He said with a wink down to me. I… stood back, and allowed him to try and take control. I was still a little struck that he was there at all, I didn’t know he knew about active eluvians and their locations, I would’ve liked to know something like that. 

“You have been a loyal companion to my Vhenan, and I thank you for that,” He started, bending down onto one knee so he was eye level, she didn’t seem to like that. “As an elf you have been persecuted your entire life, and now I’m giving you an option. Would you see all elves free? Would you see them as what they once were, ageless and powerful?”

Nira stared at him wide eyed for… a long time, just sort of blinking and thinking, before nodding. 

“Then I ask you to join us, I invite you to join us, please.” He continued, extending a hand down to her. “I ask you to become an agent of Fen’harel.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big chapter right before the next sort of plot downslope before some more shit kicks off, so get ready for that! And hopefully smut next time? Not sure yet.


	28. Recruiting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seem to be posting once a month! Some semblance of consistency! Enjoy

There was… a long silence where Nira just sort of stared at Solas- as did I, This was positively out of character for him, not only had he wanted to keep OUR RELATIONSHIP a secret, he most certainly didn’t want people in the inquisition to know who he was. Nira stood up after a few minutes, accepting Solas’ hand. She examined him fully, eyes wide and confused, her hand still in his.

“I… is this some kind of joke?” Nira asked, her voice strained and aimed at me. I could see Solas’ shoulders shake in a laugh he was fighting off.

“No,” I sighed, stepping forward, a hand to Solas’ shoulder, pushing him behind me. “I wish you would’ve told me you were going to do that,” I whispered harshly to him, he seemed to hear me but didn’t make much of a response. 

“So he’s… and you two are…” Nira’s voice trailed off as things started clicking, gears turning ever slowly in her head. I was actually a little irritated with Solas, you can’t just spring this shit on me, walk out of an eluvian all sexy and fancied up and then telling Nir to “join us”? I’d been lying to her about so much shit we’d done! Or at least I’m pretty sure I’d been lying to her. I shook my head.

“No,” I huffed. “I’m not doing this,”

Solas looked over at me, confused. “Vhenan?”

I turned towards the Eluvian, stomping over to it. 

“Get in this mirror.” I snapped, pointing to the ever shifting screen of the Eluvian next to me. “We are talking, now.”

Nira’s face was white as a ghost as she watched me yell at him, and he shrunk under my rage, suddenly looking much smaller than he presented himself to be. He looked over at her, then back to me, before silently shuffling back into the Eluvian.

“Did you just yell at Fen’harel?” Nira asked in a loud whisper, still standing at the edge of the platform.

“I’m about to woop Fen’harel’s ass,” I grumbled, walking back over to her and pulling her into a hug. “I’m really sorry he… I don’t know what’s going on with him, would you mind just waiting here like ten minutes?”

She returned the hug, though we’d never really shown affection like that before… she was shaking.

“I just, Mel I’m really confused.” She laughed, her grip around me tightening.

“I… I’ll explain as best as I can once I deal with Mr. Drama King in there.” I replied, pulling back from her. She was still pale, but had appeared to calm down a tad, and smiled as I walked back over to the Eluvian, sitting down as I passed through. 

It was a lot like entering the fade, like walking through tapioca pudding. It was dark inside, a long forgotten path before me, leading to an array of broken Eluvians. Solas was… sitting on a bench, facing away from me. 

“I didn’t mean to upset you,” He started. “I thought you’d be happy you wouldn’t have to lie to her anymore.” 

“I’m not…” I sighed, crossing the path over to him but not sitting down. “I’m not terribly upset.”

“You don’t have to lie to me Melana, I think I know when you’re angry by now.” He replied, a chuckle to his voice as he spoke but his shoulders sagged in disappointment. 

“Alright,” I laughed though there was no humor to it, sitting down at his side. “I’m happy I don’t have to lie, sure, but… Solas this isn’t the way I wanted to do this. You walking out of an Eluvian and scaring the crap out of her in your fancy outfit.”

“Fancy?” He asked, sitting up straight to look at his golden armor, flashing in the twilight. 

“Solas… it’s way too fancy.” I replied, putting a hand to his wolf pelt around his shoulders. “If you were trying to make people think, “There’s Fen’harel”, then I mean, you nailed it.”

He snorted, daring to glance over at me, but I was smiling now too, it was hard not to. As much as I was frustrated with him, I’d still missed these last few days without him. 

“I-I thought....” He mumbled, his eyes darting back to the scenery as a blush took hold of his cheeks. For the first time I noticed the bags under his eyes and the shaking of his hands. “I am still not proficient in this, you must realize.”

I slid my hand into his, leaning into him. It was gloved with hard edges, rough and cold against my skin, but he clung to me desperately all the same as I attempted to ignore the sting to his grasp. I ran my thumb over the pattern on his palm. 

“I met with the Dalish.” I sighed, remembering the quest I still had to complete. 

“Yes and you followed my path.” He said quietly. From here I couldn’t see his face but his voice was almost sad. “How did you manage to navigate it?”

“It was… difficult. I had to meditate into the fade to consult spirits, you’d be proud.” I chuckled, he squeezed my hand ever slightly, taking a deep breath as I spoke. “You’d have hated the Keeper, she named me Fen’elgar.” 

At that Solas barked out a rather loud laugh which he quickly attempted to stifle when I punched him in the side. We were quiet a moment, listening to the distant sounds of wind and and fluctuating of the Eluvian behind us. 

“Perhaps I could speak to Nira privately,” Solas almost whispered it, scooting from me a bit so I could face him. There was a smile to his eyes, something I’d missed more than life. “I had every intention of recruiting her and her brother, ever since I met them that first day in the Hinterlands. They’re good people.”

“They’re my friends,” I replied. “They were the first friends I made in Thedas.” 

He shifted next to me, turning so we were face to face. He cupped my cheeks in his hands and I startled at the coldness of them. 

“That is why I want you to have them as I have you, someone to speak to, someone you don’t have to lie to… I cannot always protect you, as much as I want to be at your side every waking moment. The Inquisition- our responsibilities as separate individuals will always tear us away from one another.” His hands slid down to my shoulders as he spoke, I reached up and put a hand to his ornate chest plate, running my fingers along the edges of the wolf pattern. He pulled me closer and kissed my forehead, his lips cold yet welcome against me. “I want someone to protect you where I cannot.”

“What about me?” I grumbled, pushing him back but still keeping him close, just enough to make him see the stern look on my face. “Do you think I don’t worry about you? I still have nightmares about you laying with your chest open in front of me. You’re not at your full strength Vhenan… I can’t always be there to heal you.” 

“Are you suggesting-” He started but I cut him off with a finger to his lips, and to my surprise he actually stopped speaking.

“Maybe you should get a new apprentice.” I whispered, for a moment he looked offended, actually angry with the idea. “I don’t mean I don’t have more to learn from you my love, soften your brow.”

He smirked, closed his eyes and taking a breath, before nodding and reopening said eyes. Icey blue irises meeting my own and I almost melted at the intimacy of it.  

“Sari Lavellen is a mage, and has a more open mind than I give her credit for. I think if we’re to get by in this world we need allies, and she seems… I would have you meet with her, see if maybe she fits your criteria for underlings.” I had thought on this quietly for a while, I knew the character of Lavellen was a dangerous person to put in front of him, but… she’d said things that had made her seem less and less like a threat. She wasn’t as close minded as her mother, and had much to learn. 

“You don’t think she’d fear me?” He asked, his voice some what vulnerable. 

“I don’t think she fears anything other than Templars to be honest.” I chuckled back, remembering my first encounter with her. “She’s shy at first, but after a little while she warms up to you.” 

“If you think it’s wise…” His voice trailed off as he sat back from me, our hands intertwining, as though he thought perhaps I would disappear if he stopped touching me. I thought about making a joke about being head advisor, but let it slip away, losing the timing. I stood from my spot on the bench, wiping off my pants and stretching out. Solas stood as well, though made no such movements. 

“Go speak with Nira,” I sighed, “I expect she’s even more confused by now.” 

“You think she hasn’t fled?” Solas laughed as the two of us walked back over to the eluvian. I hadn’t even considered the thought that she’d run, but now that he’d put it in my mind it was actually likely she had. I might’ve. 

“I’ll… go first, don’t be long love.” I said, putting a hand through the mirror, I could feel air on the other side that felt fresh, it was only then did I realize how terribly hard it was to breath in the crossroads, like I didn’t belong. Solas seemed to suffer no ill effects. Annoying. 

He lifted my hand up to his lips and kissed it before letting me slip silently through the eluvian and back out into the clearing. The minute I was through I took in a breath that filled my lungs to the brim, an overwhelming feeling after being in there so long without proper air. I was lightheaded! My vision readjusted as I blinked away the head rush, low and behold Nira was still there, standing off to the side of the mirror, looking down into a notebook. She startled as I reappeared, almost dropping her book. 

“You’re back!” She chirped, closing her book and walking over to me. 

“Yes I-” I didn’t have time to finish before she was throwing her arms around me in an embrace. She held me there for a little while, the two of us rocking back and forth, my balance threatening to give out. Why was she…?

She pulled back from me, holding me at arm's length quite literally. 

“While you were gone I found something!” She squeaked, shaking me and smiling brightly. She reached behind her and pulled out the journal she’d just been fidgeting with, one I’d never seen her with before. She thrust it into my hands and I cautiously took it. It was old, very old and yet… completely intact? “It’s a journal from ancient arlathan, from what I can tell it details an elf’s escape from captivity, apparently she was a mother of five but enslaved though she never mentions her captors name. But! And this is the great part, she does mention her rescuers name.” 

I raised a brow, unconvinced, before opening the journal. It was in elven… only one passage I was able to even partly translate.

 

_ “My children are saved, Fen’harel has saved us.”  _

 

I flipped through the journal but it was badly written, most of it in a hurry, and all of it in elven far beyond my ken. 

“Solas, he’s Fen’harel right?” Nira asked, taking the journal back from me and looking at it’s ancient pages. 

“He’s… He is,” I started, scratching the back of my head. “I think he can better explain to you what’s going on.” 

“No need,” She replied, closing the journal with a smile. “I get it I think. I don’t need to know what all happened back then, though maybe he can tell me some time. I’ll work for him.” 

I stared at her wide eyed, flabbergasted, my mouth hanging open in shock, and I was about to start questioning her logic when the eluvian behind me ebbed again, and Solas stepped through. He was no longer in insanely ornate wolf armor, wearing his usual travel clothes with a few added layers, and his staff in hand. I moved to the side, allowing him to come face to face with Nira. 

There was a moment of shock on his end, but her face was stern. She bent down onto one knee and pulled out the book, holding it up to him, her head bowed. He stared at her, then looked at me, I only shrugged before he took the book, looking just as shocked and confused as me. 

“I found this Lord Fen’harel, I believe you’ll want it.” Nira said, not standing or raising her head. It was a beyond strange sight, maybe if he was still in his golden armor it would’ve looked more… natural? It looked like an inquisition scout bowing to an apostate mage, which was by definition: unnatural.

Solas turned the old leather journal over in his hands a few times before opening it. His eyes settled on the first few words and he smirked, as though understanding. 

“You may stand,” He said as he flipped through the first few pages, not looking up yet. Nira obeyed, jumping to her feet but keeping her eyes on the ground as silence fell over the three of us. Solas read, flipping page after page before bothering to look over to him. Pompous, I thought, he looks pompous when he’s “Fen’harel”, and not my Solas. “There’s no need to lower your head Nira, I’m not a god to be worshipped, nor a king to kneel to.” 

Ever so slowly her head rose, though it took her a moment to actually look at him.

“I was Solas before, before the titles and the wars.” He was almost smiling, but I knew how talking about the past tormented him. “I’d ask you call me Solas, at least in private if you must, you are my Vhenan’s dearest friend after all..” 

Nira had been stick straight, but as he spoke her shoulders sagged, a smile rose, and she nodded. 

“Solas,” She said it like she was trying it out, the weight of it on her tongue, what it meant to her. I couldn’t hide my delight with the entire situation, this was much closer to what I wanted. I didn’t want him standing over her like a god, I wanted her to be one of us. “Is there anything you would have me do, as a follower of Fen’harel?”

“I must return to the Storm Coast, there are still tasks there that require my attention,” He started, leaning down onto one knee, slinging his backpack down onto the ground in front of him. Nira mimicked him, kneeling down as he did. I walked over and did the same, not wanting to be left out. He pulled a piece of paper from his bag, and tucked the journal in it place. He spoke as he spread the paper out before us. It was a drawing. “These strengthen the connection between this world and the fade, thinning out the veil between. Activate them wherever you find them, it should make the transition easier in the long run.”

“There's one here,” I chirped, pointing towards the device I’d found earlier that day. “I had been trying to activate it when you came through the eluvian.” Which felt like a lifetime ago, I silently added.  

“I have no doubt in my mind that you’re capable of activating them Vhenan, you’ve exceeded my expectations at every corner.” He said it smoothly, and the embarrassment crashed over my face like the morning tide, and I could tell Nira was loving it. I tried to scowl but the praise made it impossible to fight a smile. “However you Nira will be charged with making sure Melana survives activating them.”

Now I was scowling.

“Her job is to babysit me?” I scoffed, picking up the paper as Solas laced his pack back over his shoulders. We all stood up, and I could hear Nira sniggering next to me. 

“Her job is to stay close to you where I cannot,” Solas replied, cupping my face again, this time his hands were calloused yet welcome, his thumb stroking my cheek. They were still cold. “I would see you have a friend.”

“I would see you wear woolen gloves,” I sighed back, plucking his hands from my cheeks and moving them to cup over my mouth, blowing hot air into them. He smiled lovingly down at me, his expression melting from worry to adoration. He slid his hands over my shoulders and pulled me into a sudden hug, burying my face in his shoulder. He smelled of the sea, salt and sand and… pine, the ever present scent of pine. I inhaled deep, my own hands pulling on his coat as if I could will him to stay. I couldn’t. 

He pulled back from me to hold my cheek in his hand, and I leaned into it, reveling in the feeling of his skin on mine. 

“We’ll make a deal, I will purchase the first gloves I find, and you will keep Nira at your side.” He whispered, leaning down to press his forehead to mine. He was wearing a hood, and more scarves than normal, all of them a different shade of green or brown. This was my Solas, this was what I was so used to, my hermit man. I bounced up on my tip toes and pressed my lips against his for but a moment, before popping down onto flat feet. He looked rather surprised.

“Agreed,” I smiled, “But you should stay the night with us, it’s well past sunset and you look exhausted.” 

Solas blinked as though his eyes finally actually settled on his surroundings and he realized I was right, it was dark, the only light was the moon in the sky, bouncing off the eluvian. If we weren’t all elves we’d have been standing around blind in the dark. 

“I… could stay, but no one can know I’m here, the travel distance between here and the Storm Coast would normally be impossible for me to cross, if Leliana finds out I went across the continent and back in hours then there are sure to be questions.” He replied, the two of us turning more towards Nira to include her in the conversation

“I wouldn’t worry about that, I can smuggle you in and out no problem.” She was eager, smirking with her hands on her hips as she spoke. “Mel you go out ahead of us, Solas and I will meet you in your tent in an hour.”

“My tent that's pressed against a cave wall?” I scoffed, adjusting the weight of my pack as I started walking towards the exit of the cave. I wasn’t terribly eager to be leaving the two of them alone, but I was eager to be laying in my super cozy looking bed.

“That’s the one!” She called from the eluvian platform, Solas at her side. They looked sneaky, the two of them in their hoods and cloaks. I imagined I must’ve looked similarly hidden as I pulled my hood back up and strolled out of the cave. My mind drifted to the lyrium, and the pride demon still trapped in there, it hadn’t really noticed me, in fact, it had seemed… docile. I’d ran mostly out of shock at seeing one. 

Not to mention the lyrium was growing into royal elfroot, something someone had been smoking around me quite recently. I tried not to imagine what the red lyrium was doing to the Keeper’s mind. Oh gods, or her lungs? Her lungs must’ve been slowly crystallizing, I’d need to go speak with her first thing in the morning. 

I slid out from behind the waterfall and back out into the darkness, following the light of a single torch towards the side of the river, where one of my scouts was standing, kicking rocks into the water. 

“Anything exciting?” I asked as I approached, and he jumped very suddenly to attention, and didn’t respond. I fought back a sigh. “Nira will be meeting us back at camp, she’s scouting out more rifts and returning when finished.”

He looked past me to the cave, as though he didn’t believe me for a split second, before nodding, and starting to walk back to camp. I trailed a few feet behind him, staring at the ground as I thought about what the rest of my night was going to be and smiled. 

Until I remembered what my morning was going to be, and suddenly I couldn’t stop frowning.

The camp was much the same, only a few elves in Dalish garb were floating around, talking to my men. I even saw Sera talking to a Dalish girl who seemed flustered. I was… confused to say the least, last I’d heard they weren’t allowed outside of camp, what had changed so suddenly?

The answer was waiting for me in my tent, in the form of Sari, and her younger brother. Whose name I’d forgotten. Damn. 

Sari was standing at the war table, leaning on it and staring at the map, her brother was next to her, sitting in a chair he’d pulled over from the dining area. They both jumped to attention as I entered. 

“How did it go?” I asked as I slid my pack of my shoulder and down my arms onto a chair by the entrance. Sari and her brother exchanged a look, which didn’t fill me with confidence. “That bad huh?”

“She said…” Sari sighed, rubbing the back of her neck. “She said she won't let the clan move until the Lord apologizes for being wrong.” 

“I can’t tell if you’re serious but I really hope you’re not.” I replied as I crossed the room, unstrapping my staff and leaning it on the table. Sari bit her top lip, not making eye contact with me as she shook her head no. “Fuck, that’s not… she knows that’s not going to happen.”

“I know it at the very least,” She scoffed, waving her hand to her brother who stood and quickly left the room. “But she won't be reasoned with, especially now that she’s fallen ill.”

“Fallen ill? I saw the woman hours ago and she was fine!” I laughed, throwing my arms u into the air. I grumbled my way over to the bed, starting to unbuckle straps and pulling off armor. I’d been in this outfit for far too long. 

“She’s bed ridden and refuses to let anyone near her.” Sari’s words sounded as though she was standing up for her, but her tone of voice was bitter and somewhat sarcastic. I hadn’t experienced that before, Sari being sarcastic, bitter I’d heard. 

“We’ll deal with that in the morning, I’ll go… meet with the lord I guess. If this doesn’t work we need to find another way to move the clan, it’s getting more and more dangerous in this area.” I called as I pulled the breastplate up over my head. There were easier ways of getting it off, but I was being lazy. The day had taken it's tole on me, my eyes heavy with exhaustion and my bones aching from too much running around. Even my mana was weak. 

“I’ll… discuss it with my brother.” She spoke quietly, his voice trailing off as I undressed, though It sounded like she was closer. 

“Do that, and I’ll see what I can do about convincing this guy to apologize… which, let's be honest, we should not hold our breath on this one. It would be beyond out of character for any shemlen to bend to the will of the people.” I spoke quickly as I struggled to get out of my boots, the silverite on them blocking the buckles, I was about to start throwing a fit about it when someone's hands replaced mine. 

“Let me,” Sari whispered as her deft, clean fingers made short work of my boots. I looked down at my own fingers, my nails long and dirty, blood and mud under them. I didn’t look… great. 

“Sari could I get a bath do you think?” I asked meekly as she pulled off my first boot. I sat down on my bed as she did, not wanting to fall over. Something crinkled under my butt and I jumped, reaching under the first layer of skins to find something pink, a nicely wrapped package. She moved on to the second one, pulling it off with ease and setting it to the side.

“I imagine we can get something drawn up,” She said with a smile. She was on her knees in front of me, her eyes somehow level with mine. I kept forgetting how tall she was. “Luckily we did bring a big bucket.”

“Oh nice, a big bucket huh?” I laughed, turning the package over a few times before finding a note tucked into a fold. All it said was “From Josie”. Strange, why hadn’t I seen it before?

“I’ll have someone fetch it, I think I still have a hot water rock, you can have it if you like.” She hummed, reaching into a pouch on her waist, pulling out a circular stone and placing it next to me. She stood up with a grunt, “Just rub the rock until it's warm and then hold it over the bucket, it’ll fill it.”

“Thank you,” I called as she shuffled out of my tent, leaving me alone in the much too large of a room. It was odd, far too much space for one person, far too many things for me to do. I opened the present first, and was met by a surprising sight. A mostly transparent lace nightgown, pink with floral patterns. I put it to the side, not wanting to ruin it with my filthy hands. 

Moments later someone was walking in with what I would describe as a wooden bath tub, about three feet tall, and five feet wide, large enough for me to stand or sit comfortably in. I thanked the men who brought it in, and told them I was not to be disturbed until morning. They left with nods, both hurrying out as I started undressing further. I stripped, peeling off my underclothes and sweat covered shirt, tossing them onto a chair.

I went and found the rock, obeying Sari’s instructions and rubbing the stone until it was hot, and then aiming it at the tub. It immediately started blasting out water, luckily I’d been holding it directly over the tub- already fearing it, so it didn’t shoot all over the place. It would only go for a few seconds and then you had to rub it again, no innuendo intended there. 

I eased Guardian off my arm and onto my staff, watching him sliver around until he rested comfortably on the orb, curled around it like a sleeping cat. He’d disliked baths before, too hot on his bark. 

I dipped my toes into the water, slowly sinking into the feeling of it. It burned, but I ignored it, wanting so desperately to scrub the muck and long dried wolf blood off of me as quickly as possible. I couldn't scrub fast enough, my pink lufa pulling nastiness off me I hadn’t even known was there. I spent a good ten minutes just washing away the stink of travel before my skin was pink with irritation, and I had to stop. Hopefully I’d done enough. 

I washed my hair quickly, mostly just getting the sweat off of me. I didn’t need to look amazing, I just needed to be clean. I got out of the tub after only fifteen minutes, not wanting to push my luck. Nira and Solas would be there any minute.

I dried off as fast as possible before throwing on my new nightgown. It fit loosely, room to grow. It flowed to the floor and hung behind me, but there was a part of it like silk, a shorter underdress that cut off at the knees with a slit up the side. It was… oddly sexy, especially for a gift from Josephine. 

I could hear the sounds of camp outside, people chatting, two people fighting maybe- it sounded like training, and crickets. Lots of crickets in fact, and running water. The tent walls didn't keep much out, or probably in. That wasn't ideal, this was meant to be my base of operations for the next few days, i couldn't have anybody poking by and listening in to private conversations. 

I had a spell for this somewhere…

I dug through my pack until i found it: the spell book Solas had given me! It was mostly healing spells, but there were a few spells that were tools healers needed. For example, a noise dampening spell, to keep the screams in or out, depending.

It wasn't… complex. I couldn't do it just by waving my hands around though, it was a ward, something i hadn't really dabbled in much. It also only covered a certain area, so i’d need to put a few down to try and cover the entire tent. If there was a way of increasing the radius, the book didn’t say. 

I walked around the tent, meticulously carving the rune into every wooden post with a small knife, all the while speaking the incantation. It took me about ten minutes, but i was able to cover the entire room, and just as i said the last word on the last post… the crickets stopped, i couldn't hear talking, in fact it was so quiet i could hear my own breathing, the clothe ground on my bare feet as i padded back over to the table, sitting down at the chair someone had moved there. 

I’d just sat down when i heard the ruffle of my tent's entrance, and i was standing again. 

Nira walked through, shortly followed by a tall human man with piercing blue eyes. Solas. Id never seen him use an illusion spell like that, it was bizarre, seeing him flat eared with orange hair and tan skin. But he smiled, and it was that same half smirk that i’d grown so very used to.

Nira motioned for him to hurry up inside, mumbling something about blushing, making him scowl. 

“Not my favorite look,” I called, standing somewhat to the side of the table now, slightly trying to show off how cute i looked in my new nightgown. Solas glanced up from Nira to gaze at me, his eyes not sure where to settle, frantically flicking across my body as though he’d never seen it before. I was taken aback by the hunger in his foreign face as he finally settled on my eyes. 

“It was the best i could muster,” he replied, voice not his own, flat and unforgiving. Nira checked and double checked the door behind them, before nodding her approval, and pulling it closed. He waved his hand in front of his face and the spell faded, revealing his tired, pale face underneath. “I suppose this isn't much better.”

I held back a laugh, as though any form of Solas’ could be undesirable for me. I’d love him no matter what body he had. That emotion hit me like a train, the realization of what i would do for the man sheepishly trying not to stare at my breasts ten feet away from me, and suddenly ten feet was far, far too much space. 

I crossed it in a heartbeat, pushing his hood down, his ears popping out excitedly as i jumped up on my tiptoes to slant my lips against his. He was faster than me however, one of his hands grasping my rear like he had never touched an ass in his entire life, and the other wrapped tight around my back, pulling me closer. 

Nira coughed. I stepped back, Solas stepped forward, desperately following me. I smiled against his lips and he breathed a laugh, planting a few frantic kisses to my cheeks and neck before lowering his forehead onto my shoulder. 

“Thank you Nira,” i said, face flushed and voice breaking. “That will be all for tonight.”

“You’re the boss Fen’elgar.” She said with a wink, waving as she ducked back out of the tent and vanished from my mind.

“Fen’elgar… i hope thats not sticking.” I laughed, my hands wiggling under Solas’ arms, yanking at his backpack. He obeyed silently, shucking off the bag and following me to my bed, his eyes half lidded and locked to my hips. I grabbed for his cloak, pushing it down and whispering, “Ma’vehnan?”

“You put up wards.” Was his reply as his cloak fell to the ground, one of his hands coming up to run delicately over my hip, as though i wasn't real. 

“Cant have anyone listening in.” I said with my ever present grin, hands gripping his belts, slowly undoing them.

“I imagine there will be much to hear tonight.” He practically growled it back, his other hand gripping my opposite hip. I couldnt hide my blush, and didnt want to.

“Bathe first my love, you smell like a dying man.” I pulled his hands from my body, which he was clearly displeased with, and walked over to the tub which was now empty. I wasn't planning on questioning where the water went, especially since it had come from a rock. Which i’d left… oh on the table!

Solas shuffled behind me as I fumbled to find the damn thing, walking over to the war table in the middle of the room, legs already weak just from his quick embrace. It was sitting near the corner, next to a stack of letters i’d yet to notice. 

The one on top was from Cullen. I’d only arrived that morning and they were already writing me?

I huffed a sigh and tore the seal, popping it open. 

“Trouble?” Solas asked, his voice growing closer.

“It's… i don't know what it means.” I mumbled, reading it over again, this time outloud. “Melana, I write to you only a day after your leave, we’d been having problems with detailed pranks since your return from Orlais, and had blamed it on Sera…”

“They were likely right to” solas snorted, his now bare arms curling around my torso from behind, chin resting my on head.

“But after you left things only got worse and two people are missing, not to mention a woman was stabbed to death in her sleep.” I continued, Solas’ head slipping down to my shoulder to read along with me. “That mage you brought back from Orlais is gone, and we suspect demon possession.”

“Mage you brought back?” Solas scoffed, reaching forward to grab the letter, pulling it to his face to read it agains. 

“Thats the part I dont understand, we didnt bring a mage back from Orlais. I thought maybe he meant Oliver but surely he’d just say “your brother”, wouldn't he?” I leaned into his embrace as he quietly read over the letter again and again, turning it over to confirm it was from Cullen.

“Perhaps a nightmare demon, something that crept into camp on our return.” He mumbled, kissing the side of my head. “I’ll be returning to Haven before you, I’ll speak with the commander if you’d like.”

“Talk to Ben about it,” i sighed, turning to face him. He was toppless, wearing just his pants, his chest eye level with me. I wanted him to fuck me against the table. My eyes lingered on his skin, smooth and freckled with the hint of scars before my lustful gaze met his. I cleared my throat, “Get those pants off and get in the bath.”

“Vhenan…” his hands were back on my hips, not a good sign.

“Solas you’ve been at the Storm Coast for near a week and i doubt you’ve washed any part of your body since leaving Haven.” I pulled his hands from me once again and turned him back towards the tub. “We can be lust filled lovers after you’ve washed your self.” 

He whined like i’d taken a toy from him, turning and walking over to the bath. I spun, grabbing the rock and pushing the missive to the side- I’d deal with Cullens raving at a later date. At the moment i had more pressing issues. 

“Shall I be bathing alone?” Solas asked, i turned back to him, now standing naked, his back to me. I could see the coat of sweat and muck dulling his skin tone. 

“Unfortunately yes ma’vhenan, but i will agree to scrubbing your back if you agree to behave.” I crossed the room, fighting the urge to smack his ass as i walked past him. He laughed but didn't reply, only smiled down at me and held his hand out for the stone. I dropped it in his palm, not daring to even touch him, knowing how he could draw me in with a simple touch.

He turned it over a few times in his hand before stepping into the bath, and sitting down. I searched around for my soap as he started up the water, and minutes later i was sitting in a chair next to the tub, watching as he splashed water over his face.

“I needed this.” He hummed, leaning back in the tub, his head hanging over the back of it, a smile on his face. 

“Yes,” I replied, punctuating my response with a slick kiss to his lips, which he was happy to have. “Why do you think i insisted?”

“I imagine you were looking forward to this, it's very… domestic.” He gestured to the loofa in my hands as he spoke, sitting up to expose his back. 

“You act as though you’re not enjoying this,” i scoffed as i moved onto my knees on the floor, squirting a quarter sized dollop onto my loofa. “I’m sure you’ve wanted someone to scrub your back before.”

“Perhaps I’ve had someone scrub my back before.” Was his quick reply, accompanied by a sharp look over his shoulder. 

“I believe the deal was that you’d behave.” I sighed, dipping the loofa in the water before putting it to his back. He shuddered at the sensation, the water quivering around him. 

“That request was exceedingly vague. You have yet to behave this entire night.” He scooted back a bit, pulling his knees up out of the water to rest his arms on. “Where did you get that nightgown?”

“Josephine, though i don't know why she sent it.” I hummed in response, running my hand over his shoulder blade, there was a new scar there. “What's this?”

He flinched away from my touch, the water the only sound between us as my fingers fell away from his skin. He was quiet, unusually quiet based on how he’d been since entering my tent. He… eased back into my touch, and I was gentle to return the motion, my hand running away from the fresh scar to rub the soap from the back of his neck before leaning in to kiss just there. 

“Did something happen in the Storm Coast you’ve yet to share?” I whispered as I kissed along the length of his neck, he leaned into it, stretching out to give me ample access. He was quiet again, enjoying the sensation and maybe trying to ignore the question. I huffed and licked up to his ear, enjoying the sensation of him quivering underneath me. 

“Ah-Fenedhis asha, yes, I…” He started, but his voice grew quiet again, fading out in the inches between us. I kissed behind his ear, he continued. “We met with the Iron Bull, he was as, well, large as you said.”

“And?” I asked, moving back from him, returning to my scrubbing. He was still filthy, ugh, he wasn’t getting in my bed any time soon. 

“A stray arrow struck me from behind, an archer, hidden in the bushes.” He sighed, finally actually telling me the reason for his scar. “I could not reach the wound to heal it and Ben offered, I thought nothing of it at the time. I’d not known it left a scar.” 

“Why didn’t you want me to know that?” I asked sheepishly, running the loofa over his wound again before putting by bare thumb to it. It was still fresh enough, I could repair the damaged skin. I drew a quick long term healing rune into his skin with the tip of my pinky, tapping it to activate it. Solas’ back twitched at the sensation. 

“I… I told you this morning I didn’t trust you to protect yourself, and yet I can’t seem to go anywhere without needing your healing touch.” He said it with a laugh but his shoulders sank, so I didn’t dig into it… I could have, a part of me wanted to, but I resisted the urge. I focused instead on finishing my work, picking up a cup from the ground and filling it, pouring it out down his back and watching the way it curved around his form while stealing the suds of soap away with it. He hummed in approval, almost a purr as I went to do it again.

His back was pink and soft as I ran my fingers along it, following the water, letting it wash over my hands as I went. He felt like heaven against me, the contact alone was enough to make me tremble. I found myself standing, and he seemed to accept that I was done, sliding deeper into the water to wash the rest of the bubbles up. He splashed a handful of water over his face, blowing raspberries as he did. 

“I’ll have to get one of these stones, the water is still crystal clear.” He hummed, not paying attention to what I was doing. “Where did you get it?”

“Sari,” I replied, still out of his field of vision, fumbling to find my spell book. 

“Ah yes, the girl you want me to hire,” He replied, splashing as he stood up, just as my hands landed on it's leather surface his eyes met mine. “What are you doing?”

I stood slowly, holding the book at my side. 

“I uh… I read about a spell the other day, it can dry someone instantly, I thought I’d try it, if you don’t-you know, if you don’t mind.” I mumbled, tucking the book nervously behind my back. His head tilted to the side, like a dog who was curious and unsure, looking between my face and where I’d hidden the book. 

“Of course,” He said with a smile, “The faster I’m dry the better.”

I tried not the think about what he meant by that as I excitedly pulled the book out in front of me and started flipping through pages. It wasn’t a hard spell, but if you did it wrong apparently you could really overheat someone, and in extreme cases… cook them from the inside out. 

I walked back over to Solas, who was still standing calf deep in water. As I approached he quickly stepped out, revealing what I’d been craving since he’d stepped out of the eluvian. I tried to stomp down my urges, my eyes flicking quickly between my book and his half hard cock. He waited quietly as I put my hand nervously to his chest, only pausing to wink down at me. 

Not helping, okay. 

I closed my eyes, peeking open one more time to read something I’d forgotten, and then closed them again. I focused on him, the shape of him, his height and weight, the feeling of water dripping along his exposed chest, and ever so slowly, carefully as not to mess up, I pulled my fingers together, and stepped back. 

The moisture followed my fingertips, pulling from his skin in silence, and the smile on his face grew. I guided the water into the tub, and it happily followed, falling like rain into the already half empty bath. I released the spell just as Solas’ fingers began to toy with the collar of my overgown. 

“Eager,” was all I managed before my translucent gown had fallen to the floor, leaving only my under dress which was considerable shorter but opaque, and he was spinning me around. The force of it, the intensity as he silently slid the straps down, his mind entirely focused- he bent down, his face buried in the crook of my neck, breathing in the scent of my conditioner. 

He lingered there, hands on either side of waist, slowly sliding around my torso in a deep hug. I rested my hands on his arms, tilting my head back, resting on his shoulder.

“I…” His voice trailed off, rough and pressed against my pointed ear. “I do not wish to disappoint you, I have been thinking about this since Haven.”

“You doubt your endurance?” I laughed, my breath heavy and eyes lidded. 

“... I am very, very tired.” He said it so quietly, so softly into my neck I could barely hear it, but when it sunk in, when I understood, I smiled.

“We don’t have to,” I replied, turning in his grasp to hold him against me. “We can just sleep vhenan, there is no pressure to please me every time you’re in my presence.”

“Is there not?” He laughed back, his grasp on me never wavering. “I would please you night and day if I was allowed.”

“Come to bed my love,” I hummed, finally pulling back from his embrace and guiding him over to the bed, our hands entwined. He followed with a sad sort of smile, the bags under his eyes twice as deep down that his skin was warm from the bath. I slid into the furs of our bed with excitement bubbling in me, I was beside myself with joy at the idea of simply falling asleep in his arms, just having him there. 

He curled around me, nuzzling his nose into my hair and kissing my bare shoulder, his arm hooking around to spoon me just right. The bed was perfect, the covers thinner than we’d had in our snowed over cabin, allowing us to cling to each other for warmth as well as comfort. He was asleep in minutes, I think he mumbled something soft and gentle in elven but it was lost to me. I wasn’t far behind him, though I stayed awake long enough to roll over and just stare at his face, his sleeping face. It wasn’t something I saw often. I recommitted it to memory- I never noticed the way his face looked almost sad when he slept, though every time he brushed against me, reminding himself I was there, and he was smiling. 

We’d grown so used to sleeping with each other since Orlais, since that first night when I’d stolen all the blankets and gotten grumpy with him twice. Sure I may steal the blankets again, maybe even get grumpy with him, but now we had a routine, a way we knew we liked to hold each other. My chest swelled with love as I gave his lips one last look, before drifting off to sleep. 

 

In the fade he wasn’t as tired as he was in the waking world. He was quick with letting me know it as well, summoning me to a place I didn’t recognize, trees of white and gold, statues of halla and wolves scattered around the grove, and a single bed in the middle of a patch of wild flowers. I wondered only a moment if he’d dreamt the place up specifically for me before he was on me like a man starved of the touch of a woman. Though we were naked and embracing outside the fade. 

He spent what felt like years paying intimate attention to me, assuring I was pleased thrice before he even bothered to pull his head from between my legs. He payed me long and detailed compliments that sent my body aflame, begging for him to put his mouth to better uses which he would only smile at before continuing. When he was good and ready, and when I was sure all of my energy was spent, he was on me once again, fucking me in earnest, desperate and vocal, very vocal about everything. He made a point to speak, or make some other sweet noise, throughout the entire event, turning me into a puddle of love and adoration under his touch. 

He spilt into me after a series of frantic thrusts that I simply had to hang on for dear life during, thinking for sure that I would start feeling pain or feel at least a little sore but only ever feeling waves of pleasure. He waited but twenty minutes, allowing me to catch my breath, and him a moment to pant and stare off into the distance, before he was snuggling up against me and calling me his. He loved to nuzzle into my hair like a babe looking for milk, saying he liked the feeling against his skin, the silk touch of my conditioned hair. He feared me running out of my dwindling supply. 

“I’ll get you more,” Was all he said when I told him the bottle was near empty, pulling me down to the bed with him and wiggling back into my embrace. We held each other in the fade, resting without rest in a position not unlike the one we had on the waking plane, save his rock hard erection brushing against my back, reminding me he wasn’t quite satiated. He rocked against me until I reached down, sliding him eagerly back inside me. 

He came twice more before the sun rose and I found myself drifting from my connection in the fade to wake. 

Solas was asleep still, no surprise, he always was a late riser. The surprise was that he was still wrapped around me so lovingly, usually one of us would get too hot in the night and pull away. Unless he woke at some point to cast a- the thought didn’t even allow itself to finish before I looked at my wrist and low and behold: a cooling rune. I hadn’t even… at what point during our lovemaking last night had he woken to do this?

Maybe he hadn’t woken, he could certainly do something like that subconsciously. Though that would be… surprising, to say the least. 

I didn’t let the matter linger, scooting carefully out of the bed not to disturb him. Rather impossible the way his legs were tangled around mine. He groaned at the sudden feeling of my embrace leaving him, but quickly replaced me with my pillow, mumbling something into it before starting to snore again. I only rolled my eyes. 

He was far too cute in the mornings. 

I crossed the room, everything colder and bitter in the early morning, my sound proofing still holding fast, I heard nothing from the outside world. I quickly peeked out my tent to find Nira and Isannan sitting on either side of it's entrance, talking quietly to each other.

“I don’t know why you’re making me keep watch is all,” Isannan yawned, leaning lazily on a post. “We have guards for that.”

“I don’t trust them to keep Melana safe,” Nira snapped back through chattering teeth, bouncing back and forth to try and keep warm. I smiled, thankful she’d kept people out for who knows how long. If anyone had walked in on Solas and I naked and asleep in each other's arms… there would be hell to pay. 

“You two can come in,” I whispered, making them both jump, spin and look at me; standing there in my nightgown holding the tent flap open for them. Isannan looked nervously at Nira, who only smiled knowingly and stepped inside. Isannan seemed… less willing, staring at me a moment, taking me in, before cautiously stepping inside. He wasn’t a foot in before Solas came into view, and he was spinning to stare at me. “I see no sense in lying to one of you when the other already knows.”

“You’re gonna tell him?” Nira asked, sitting down at my dining table and grabbing an apple from a bowl sitting there. 

“Tannis too,” I sighed, walking by the stunned Isannan and going to sit down by Nira. “They both deserve to know.”

“Did you say “Bolth”?” She snorted, “You know it doesn’t have an “L” in it right?”

“I’m… Shut up,” Was all I had, normally I’d defend myself as a North Westerner, but she wouldn’t exactly understand my argument, as things were different here. Another secret I had to keep, and not one I planned on sharing. Maybe ever. 

Solas stirred and I stilled, not wanting him to wake quite yet. When he woke he had to leave. I just wanted a few more minutes of peaceful domesticity before I had to turn back into the boss of everyone. He settled, a few of the furs fell from the bed and exposed most of his chest and legs.

Isannan was blushing.

“Don't mind the big bad wolf,” I said with a smile, I crossed the room to sit at the edge of the bed, pulling the blankets back up over Solas’ form, he caught my hand and held it there. Isannan took the seat across from Nira, eyes glued to Solas and i. 

“So you two are…” he motioned between the two of us, and I could only nod in response. “That’s not so surprising.”

“Wait until you hear the rest.” Nira snorted, taking another pointed chomp out of her apple. 

“What is she pregnant?” He laughed back, but when the two of were silent his face went white. “Creators you’re not pregnant are you? You can't have a baby and run the inquisition!”

“What? Isannan I'm not pregnant, though… that would be easier to deal with.” I almost laughed it, looking down at Solas who was appearing more and more awake with every passing minute. “No, and actually… Isannan can you and I speak privately, along with Tannis and Nira, later tonight?”

“You called me in here for some big secret and now you’re not telling me?” Isannan exclaimed, arms thrown up in irritation. I’ll admit it wasn't my best move.

“I… rethought it, is all. Send me Sari, and accompany me to the clan, we’ll speak after.” I sighed, scratching at the back of my head. “I didn't mean to give you the runaround, I’ll explain, I promise.”

“She will,” Nira sighed, already standing up and tossing the apple core aside. “I’ll keep her to it, come on.”

Isannan looked as though he might protest, but he had little time to. Nira was already dragging him back out of the tent before he managed to utter a coherent word, but he was certainly frustrated. Not that I blamed him, Isannan had secrets I knew, he was probably eager to learn more of mine. 

Solas stretched out next to me, his legs pulling at the blankets until they were around his ankles, exposing him entirely. 

“Well I’m glad you didn’t do that while they were in here,” I sighed, pulling the blankets back up to cover his dignity. He squirmed, trying desperately to pull me back into bed, but I slipped out if his grasp. I moved to the top of the bed, planting a quick kiss on his cheek. “It's time to wake up ma’vhenan.”

He scrunched his face and rolled away from me. Oh he was going to be difficult was he? 

“Sari will be here any minute to meet you, you need pants on.” I huffed, following after him to litter his cheeks with kisses. He protested, attempting to escape my grasp at every turn yet somehow just wiggling further into my embrace. By the end of it he was pinned under me, face down in the bed with his arms over his neck like that could protect him. “Vhenan please we’ve little time, I’ve already summoned the girl and you’re being beyond difficult.”

He ignored me still, humming his displeasure into the mattress. Such a stubborn morning person. Oh well. I bent forward, sliding my hands down his sides, travelling under the blankets. 

“Shall we try it your favorite way now?” I whispered into his ear, causing it to twitch. My hand slid deftly under him, and he did not resist, lifting his hips to allow me clear access to what we both wanted. He shuddered as I barely brushed against the head of his cock, and I could tell he was aching for a real, tangible release after last night's teasing in the fade. “Should I tell them to delay her, or does the limited time frame excite you?”

He bucked against the smooth surface of my hand as I pressed palm against shaft. 

“I’ll take that as a no then,” I chuckled, pulling my hands away from him, the position was uncomfortable, if he wanted loving then he had to at least roll over. He obeyed, switching onto his back, his arms still covering his face from the brightness of the morning. His cock stood erect and I couldn’t help but sigh lovingly, the sheer girth of it, the length… it was perfect. Rideable even. I gently, barely touching him, ran my thumb down his shaft, and his toes curled. This was going to be quick. He was pent up. 

I teased him again, my hand ghosting up and down his dick, occasionally brushing it as if by accident. A drip of precum spilled from him and my mouth watered. I couldn’t tease him forever, or even very long apparently, I had not the patience for it. 

I threw my leg back over him, straddling him. He let out a gasp as I laid my aching cunt against his cock, grinding my clit against the length of him. He felt so real, I tried to steady myself as I rocked my hips into him, my hands resting on his chest. It didn’t last long. Clarity fell upon him, a sudden realization that we were so close and yet so very far apart. His arms were on me like lightning, one hand darting under me, the other grabbing at my ass, lifting me. He pushed me up and onto his dick in an instant, and I let out a cry of surprise, my head falling forward.

My momentum was lost but he had just discovered his, thrusting up into me like a man starved of touch, desperately fast. I fell forward, and he cradled me against his chest, pausing his rhythm to kiss my forehead. 

“What a wonderful way to say good morning,” He whispered, lacing under my arm and onto my shoulder blade with one hand, and with the other around my thigh he flipped us, never removing himself from me. The sheer force of it made me quiver. “But we have little time my love, I’ll have to work fast.”

And fast he did work, anchoring himself there with his arm pinned under me, but his right hand free to fly down and draw circles into my clit, all the while bucking into me with no remorse. 

“Perhaps we should be apart more often,” He grunted, suddenly slowing his pace to look down at me, his eyes still half asleep- or perhaps filled with lust, I couldn’t tell. He pulled his hips back slowly, agonizingly so, until he had fallen out of me but still pressed firm to my entrance. “It seems to make you crave me so desperately as to wake me in the morning with your loving embrace.”

“Talking-” I huffed, trying to find his lips with mine. “Talking too much.”

“Indeed,” He chuckled, and then his lips were melting against mine, and he was driving back into me, and I felt the first of my walls break down, my orgasm not far off. 

“Again,” I mumbled against his lips, my heart beating a mile a minute. He obeyed, pulling as far out as he dared before slamming all the way back down into me, and I cried out, head thrown back. “Shit- Solas,”

“I hear you,” He whispered into my neck, “I am not far off.”

He did it again, and this time found himself unable to get all the way out before I was yanking him back down with my knee hooked around his back. At that he lost himself, whimpering as he sucked a hickey into my neck, and began to slam into me with a speed I’d not experienced before. I screamed out my orgasm, hopeful that the silence bullshit I’d cast the night before was still active. He let out a gasp as he struggled to keep the same pace, standing up onto his knees his hands on my hips, his body tensing as his thrusts got uneven and languid, before he was swear in elven, his face buried in my neck. 

He rocked against me for a moment, and I lavished in those last few minutes of feeling absolutely full of him. The way he had me sort of hanging there really forced him to stretch me out. I quite liked the feeling of it. I might’ve started insinuating more fun if we weren’t on a schedule. How I wished the two of us could just fuck and talk all day, what I wouldn’t do for a long, quiet day of love making. 

He inhaled, and exhaled, trying to slow his breathing from a pant. He hissed as he pulled out of me, slowly lowering me back down onto the bed. 

“Good morning,” I whispered, voice hoarse from sex. He rolled down onto the bed next to me, his face still managing to stay in my hair. He inhaled deeply. “You can’t just go back to sleep my love.”

“No…” He mumbled, brows pursed. “Just… that was more exhilarating than I thought it would be, I need a moment.”

“Shall I fetch your trousers?” I ran my fingers down his back and he hummed in approval, nodding as best he could. I smiled and planted a kiss to his lips, what I expected to be a quick, chaste kiss, but when I got there… I couldn’t seem to pull away. He kissed me back, and then he kissed me again, and again, and again and I found myself stuck there, and quickly getting excited again. His hand found my cheek, and I melted into his touch once again. “Shouldn’t I be…”

“Shhhh…” He wouldn’t let me finish, he just pulled me closer until I was laying back down next to him, curled around his embrace. 

“By the creators I have the weakest will.” I laughed, his lips catch mine once more. “Solas you must let me go, or Sari will see you naked.”

He kissed me one more time before leaning back and wiping at his eye, smoothing out his quickly furrowing brow. Finally freed, I threw my legs over the edge of the bed and went to take a step, but fumbled quite foolishly forward. I heard Solas hide a laugh, and shot him a glare. He tried to cover it with a cough, but was staring right at me with a smirk. I felt his release dripping from me, and started looking around for something to clean up with. 

“Perhaps it’s best if you tell Nira not to bother with Sari,” Solas called as I finally found my pack, I ignored his comment, rooting around in the bag until I pulled out the a small washcloth, and quickly tidied up. His pack, which was next to mine quite conveniently, was open with an outfit of his already laid out on top. “Perhaps I write to Ben telling him I’m meeting with you in the Graves, and I “show up” here, in a few days.” 

“Solas we need to be able to be apart from one another,” I huffed back, standing now with the armful of clothes that was his outfit. He looked a little stunned at my response, and a bit hurt. I blinked, “I don’t mean… Vhenan there will be times when you and I will be deprived of one another, surely you understand that?”

“I… Yes,” He sighed, sitting up now as I was almost to him with his clothes. “Yes I know, I just… I want to live in a fantasy where you and I can just be.”

“As do I, but we have things to do first.” I placed the pile on the bed just as he scooted over to the edge of it, gesturing for me to come to him. I obliged him, stepping into his embrace. His hands resting on either of my hips, holding me at an arm's distance to look into my eyes.

“Just…” He held me there a moment, gaze bleary and cheeks flushed. He smiled, then brought his hand to my stomach. He drew the rune against my skin, his “ morning after” spell, as I’d taken to calling it. He didn’t get the joke but he didn’t have to. He inhaled, then buried his face in my breasts. I gave his head a pat, laughing. 

“Get dressed, I’ve got to go to the bathroom.” I called, already walking away. He nodded as I went, waving. 

The bathroom was a pit that some of the guys had dug way off the side of the camp, keeping it downhill from any water. No room for dignity. I did my business and made my way back to camp, upon returning to my tent I found Nira and Tannis now sat outside on stools, both holding spears. Which, I’d like to point out, I had never seen them with spears before. They nodded as I past, and I couldn’t help but be slightly creeped out. I parted the curtain into my tent and the noise of the world disappeared and I was left with the sound of a conversation which halted when I entered. 

Solas was standing at the table, fully dressed in his usual inquisition garb, hands behind his back, face placid, his eyes flicking from her to me in an instant, but his expression remaining. She turned to face me as well, her hair done up, make up on, and a blush to her cheeks and a lightness to her expression. No. oh no, no no, no. 

“Lady Melana,” Solas called from the table, waving me gently over. “You were right about her.”

“I was?” I asked, voice catching in my throat. I crossed the room and sat slowly down in my chair at the head of the table before clearing my throat and repeating, “I was?”

“Yes,” He replied, putting his hands on the back of my chair and leaning closer, but not lowering his volume. “I think she’d make a perfect student.” 

“Well that…. Is wonderful, Solas, thank you,” I said, scooting forward in my chair. I genuinely meant it, but felt nervous in saying it. The way she was looking at him, I did not like it. Big puppy dog eyes, barely looking at him… He stood back up, a hand still on my chair. I crossed my legs at the knee. “I knew the two of you would be a good match.”

“I agree,” She chirped, all too eager, she fumbled with her bag a moment before pulling out a small journal which was little more than a pile of papers strung together with leather. “I’ve always wanted to study as a healer, but I never had the nerve nor the resources, it would mean the world to study under you.”

She handed me the crumpled up notebook and I carefully opened and went through it. Healing spells, not the uh… best ones? But certainly those were healings words and markings. 

“You need to work on the order and proper spell structure,” Solas sighed, taking one from my hand and turning it upside down once or twice. Sari winced out of the corner of my eye but stood strong. “You’re ahead of where Melana was when I started teaching her, you’ll be easier to teach I imagine.”

“I am a wonderful student.” I coughed, looking up at him with brows raised, trying not to smile as widely as I knew I was. I could still feel the sting of him inside me, it had ached to sit down.

“Yes, but you didn’t know basic spell layouts, and had a rudimentary understanding of your abilities. You have come very far from almost burning down the cabin, I’ll admit that at least.” He replied flatly, no hint of humor to his voice but his eyes were bright, and I could see the occasional smile trying at his lips. I held his gaze there a moment, and he winked. 

“How did it go with your mother?” I asked, turning my attention back to Sari, who was staring longingly at Solas. She quickly jumped to attention, her hands flying up in surprise. 

“Yes! It went… oh… well, not great actually.” She replied, getting less and less excited through her entire sentence. “She… She says that they won’t leave unless the Lord comes out of his manor and apologizes for calling you out here. She says it's an insult.”

“What? How does that… why does any of that matter?” I laughed in confusion, “She-she said that she would leave when the path was completed, and the path is complete! She’s breaking her promise!”

“She doesn’t see it like that.” Sari sighed in response, shrinking under my quickly growing rage. I settled in my chair, not wanting to take my anger out on her. “She doesn’t believe we made it to the eluvian, she says there isn’t an eluvian, she wouldn’t listen! She said the path leads to the garden, but that just had that demon in it!”

Solas’ palm hit the table, silencing, and startling, both of us. We stared, wide eyed at him as he glared at the table like it was Corypheus himself. He huffed a few breaths, making us wait in silence before he returned his hand behind his back. 

“If what Melana has told me is true,” Solas said, slowly, cool and calculated. “Then your mother is knowingly smoking red Lyrium and poisoning her mind in ways I don’t quite understand.”

Sari made a face like she was ready to plead her mother's case, but her eyes drifted off, and she grew quiet. Like she’d remembered something. 

“Our only choice is to plead with the lord on the clans behalf.” I huffed, sliding her papers across the table to her, not wanting to continue this trail of conversation. I stood and walked over to the bed, picking up my robe and draping it over my shoulders. I sighed as I tied it in the front, dropping down onto the bed, crossing my legs once again. This was going to be a longer trip to the Emerald Graves than I originally thought. 

“I should be returning.” Solas said, nodding to Sari as he walked back to me. “Melana will be a good substitute teacher while I’m away, spend this time catching up to her.”

“You’re leaving?” Sari’s voice cut through the tent with real sorrow in her voice and I cringed. Solas did as well, his face only visible to me. We made eye contact, his shoulders sagged. 

“I have things I must tend to, but I will see you back at Haven in a few days, and then we should begin your proper training.” Solas replied, grabbing his pack from the ground with another wink to me. I quickly realized I wasn’t getting a last kiss, as he smiled sadly, then stood and turned back towards her. “Walk me to the edge of camp will you Sari? Nira will be accompanying me the rest of the way.”

“Don’t steal Nira away too long,” I called after him, allowing him one more chance to turn and look at me, sitting across the room, looking small and cold and alone. I felt his heart wrench from there, before he nodded his last goodbye, and left me in my tent with Sari fumbling after him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys if you ever have any questions, or suggestions, or heck, you just want to chat, check out the Self Indulgence Discord I set up! 
> 
> https://discord.gg/WVrpD8


	29. Overwhelming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "what, another chapter? shes not dead?" - you guys when you see me update

“I believe I have too many things going on all at once.” I mumbled under my breath as I pulled my leather glove off, only to regret it immediately as the morning was cold yet somehow humid. I’d expected to enjoy this trip and to some degree, yes, I had. But those fleeting moments, daring fate in the quiet of my tent were over. Now I stood in front of an araval, glaring down a rather short guard who held a sword like he’d never seen one before.

I heard Nira breath a laugh next to me. I had the entire entourage with me, Nira and Sari on either of my sides, Tannis, Isannan and Sera behind them. We were meant to look intimidating, I don’t know that we were succeeding, but we could certainly try.

“Now explain to me, one more time,” I began, raising my voice as I started dramatically pulling off my other glove. The boy winced as I slapped the gloves together, before stuffing them in my pocket. “Why exactly won’t the Keeper speak with me?”

“She’s… As I’ve said several times now,” He cleared his throat at least twice, but I wasn’t listening, rolling my eyes and pinching the bridge of my nose to show my displeasure. “She is unwell.”

“Yes!” I laughed, throwing my arms out before planting them on either hip. “Yes, you’ve said that, I want to know what kind of “unwell” she’s trying to hide from me, that’s all, alright?”

He wavered, staring at my now sweet, condescending smile before shaking his head and repeating what he’d been saying for the last twenty some odd minutes. I clenched my fists at my side, rage beginning to bubble over when suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder. My eyes, which had clenched shut in anger now flew open to see Nira at my side, smiling at me. I blinked, once, twice before taking a breath and returning her smile.

“Fine we’ll go… But,” I snapped, I pointed a finger to the middle of his chest and watched as he swallowed, sweat trailing down his face. “Tell the Keeper we’ll be back sooner than she’d like, and we want answers.”

I spun away from him, walking in a huff through the group and back out the way we’d came. The camp was still quiet, it was early and apparently most were packing up to leave. The problem seemed to be solving itself, as much as the Keeper tried to resist it, people wanted to leave. The people looked tired, worn down, ready to be in a more comfortably safe location. I could see it on their faces, it wouldn’t be hard to convince them to come to the Inquisition, if I really wanted to try.

I wasn’t sure quite yet if they deserved it.

“Are we going to go see Lord what's his face?” Sera asked, jogging to keep up with me. She’d appeared suddenly, almost startling me. The Lord she was referring to had demanded that we remove the Dalish, and now the Dalish wanted an apology. Not to mention I’d hoped to bring one, if not both groups under the flag of the Inquisition. This trip… wasn’t going well.

“Yes, I guess it’s our only real course of action.” I huffed, still speed walking towards the exit, I hated this camp, it was so depressing. No one talked to us, or looked at us as they probably had been forbidden to do so, but I could see them glancing, daring to take a peek at the beautiful group of elves in inquisition garb. We were a sight to behold, I in my full mage armor with my travelling cloak gliding behind me, hair delicately pulled into an Orlesian braid, which Nira said made my ears really pop. Whatever that meant.

The rest of them weren’t half bad either, sure their armaments couldn’t be as fancy, but they were still very complimenting in their skill sets. Nira’s leather armor with green accents, two daggers strapped to her hip on the right, and on the left a short sword which her hand rested on. She had her hood down, she wanted to make a point of showing off. However when we reached the end of the camp she threw her hood back up, all you could see were her lips, which curled into a devilish smile when she made eye contact with anyone. She wanted them to look, she wanted them to be curious, to want to be one of us.

Isannan, who had been eagerly bugging me all morning about my want to talk to him- and the Solas in my bed, was wearing a non-standard inquisition scout outfit, a bow laced over his back and a white quiver hanging at his hip his only noticeable weapons. He wore leather yes, but a lighter one than the normal uniform, and even his pin was slightly different, an arrow replacing the usual knife through the eye. It sat on his… shall? It was the same fabric as the rest of him, save a green lining around the edges and corners. It was his biggest fashion statement. I kind of loved it.

Sera wore her usual outfit, I was beginning to think she only had the one, as everyone was wearing a different outfit than normal on this outing save her.

Sari wore her Dalish robes, a simple red, orange and brown dress that she had to hold to keep from getting dirty, with her hair up similarly to mine, but pinned with a decorative ornament of some kind. She was really starting to look like our Dalish Ambassador. I wondered if she’d take the title, should it be offered.

Tannis, last but not least, was lingering further back, taking in all the sights and smells a Dalish camp had to offer. He’d not seen one since he was very young, it was probably nostalgic. He’d been the only one to wear the classic scout outfit, with the too big of a hood pulled down so everyone could see not only his ears, but his wide smile.

I wondered if we would put on much more of a spectacle walking through a human town, knife eares, the inquisitions symbol pinned to each of us. We certainly looked like important dignitaries, or at least, two important dignitaries and three guards.... And Sera.

Perhaps we’d survive the day at the Lord’s mansion.

 

The mansion in question wasn’t the one I expected it to be, I certainly thought there was only one large estate in the Emerald Graves, the one you romp through in Inquisition. Apparently I was wrong. This one was about a mile south from where we’d set up camp, and a ways off the main road after that. The drive way was littered with vines and roots, desperate to take back the pathway, with old statues lining the way, all in threatening poses as if to scare us off. Sari lingered awhile at one, and I thought I saw her take out a sketchbook but she was just out of my field of vision, and I did not care to try and look.

We were, I assume, about halfway up the drive when a carriage drawn by four horses came barrelling from behind us. I had to grab Tannis’ belt and yank him out of the way as the rest of us pinned ourselves to the topiary. Orlesian, I’d know that gold and white viney pattern anywhere, judging by the sounds of women laughing and the smell of wine coming from the carriage, I could not be wrong. Nira and I exchanged a look, she rolled her eyes.

“They seem to follow me everywhere,” Was my sarcastic response as we started walking again.

We came upon the house itself, or mind you, the stone pathway through a garden, up to an ornate staircase, to the house. Along with the carriage that had nearly taken our lives, among many other carriages. I heard them before I saw them, an absolute mess of people inside the garden and draped across the stairs, all in fancy Orlesian garb.

“Uh oh,” I sang under my breath, slowly approaching the gates to the garden. I tipped my head back to Nira, who had a familiar look on her face, one that matched my own. Distaste, discomfort, and a desire to run. “None of us are dressed for this, we should head back, regroup and-”

But I was cut off, my quick and clever plan to maybe go home and change into party clothes- which I found packed somehow?- was quickly cut off by Sera running past me, and towards what looked like a dessert table.

“-and I guess we’re going in.” I sighed, Tannis and Isannan already excitedly trying to get by, their eyes set on a plate of freshly baked cookies someone had just sat down.

“Can we at least stick in the advisor up front thing until we get inside?” Nira snapped at the two boys who quickly fell in line. However Sera was already nowhere to be seen, she somehow managed to blend into the crowd flawlessly, as I imagined most of my entourage was known to do.

I opened the short wooden gate and stepped into the garden, a rather large area with a gazebo, pond, several sitting areas and to the left a dancing pavilion, with a stage for a band that was playing a waltz. Heads turned as we entered, and I felt vulnerable. The crowds seemed to part and the music slowly faded as we walked through the garden, towards the stairs. Laughter was replaced with whispers and I felt Nira’s hand placed to the middle of my back, and I realized I’d stopped walking.

“Easy,” She whispered, my ear twitching at the suddenness of it. “Don’t let them get to you, they’ve just never seen anyone as beautiful as us before.”

I smirked, taking a deep breath before my gaze settled on my goal: a sitting area on the balcony above the door. There leaned a man who had broken a glass in his hand when he saw us enter. He was trying to play it off, but I’d seen it, I could see his sneer under his mask from the bottom of the stairs as I started ascending them.

I winked as he slipped out of view, and his body betrayed him, flinching. Good. The people resting on the stairway parted, all hurrying inside or out before we got to the top. I let them go in first, lingering behind, the entire garden still silent.

I turned around, eyes down, arms behind my back and head raised high, taking my “Solas” position. I stopped at the top of the stairs, looking out amongst the people whose masks were all aimed at me. There were some whispers. I smiled.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, please pay us no mind, The Inquisition did not come to stop your party, I assure you,” And with a bow, and a wink to the person closest to me, I was turning on my heels and hurrying inside, Tannis and Isannan waiting for me just on the other side of the doors, clapping silently, nodding their heads sarcastically.

“Bell of the ball,” Sari laughed, closing the doors behind us, immediately the music picked back up, and the laughter, shouting and partying in general. We all shared a laugh before a man in a rabbit mask with- oh. As an… elf servant jogged up to us.

“Pardon,” He called, waving me closer. I eyed him, finding it hard to hide my displeasure towards his themed mask, but I obeyed, approaching. “You are Melana, of the Inquisition, yes?”

“Yes,” I replied, eyes glazing over as three men appeared in full armor, hands on hilts. “I should have sent word we were coming, I would’ve worn my nicer gowns.”

The guards sniggered, as if I couldn’t have better clothes. I didn’t know if it was a compliment or an insult, my armor was quite nice. Nicer than theirs, though it was all quite shiny, it looked more for decoration than anything.

“Lord Byron isn’t pleased with your sudden appearance, please hand over your weapons.” The attendant said, waving to the guards. He seemed somewhat impatient with us, as though we’d personally snubbed him by walking in.

I realized no one was handing over their weapons. In fact Nira’s hand flew to her sword the second those guards had shown up. Tannis’ staff had been off his back for a while, and Isannan was slowly drawing an arrow.

“Now, now.” I said, taking a step forward, making everyone flinch. I put my hands up and slowly took one more step forward. The guards eased, my elves did not. “We didn’t come here to hurt anyone, certainly not someone we're currently doing a favour for. But you must understand, my people don’t feel safe here and want to know that, in the event of an emergency, they can protect themselves. I’m sure you understand.”

The guards exchanged looks, before their eyes settled on the elf attendant who only glared at me. I may have gotten him in trouble with that, sorry buddy, maybe I’d tell Sera to find out about him, have her leave him some money under a soup lid or whatever it is she does.

“Very well,” He eventually spat, waving the guards away, none of them looking particularly pleased. He pointed towards a hallway to our left, before starting to walk that way. We all clambered after him, and I gave a few stern looks to the group, motioning for them to calm down. “I will escort you directly to Lord Byron, he is happy you’re here, though he won’t show it, we’ve had some difficulty with the-”

“Dalish, yes I’m aware, there was a rather loud woman who showed up at the Inquisition to yell at us about it.” I replied smoothly, voice even. He shot a dirty look back to me before continuing.

“No, the Dalish are a thorn yes, but the… the issue isn’t one little thorn, it’s the thistle bush.” He motioned down the left, a large arching room where a few guests were oohing and ahhing at something. He nodded me inside, and I told the group to linger back.

It appeared to be a large observatory, or at least, it was once used as one. The leftmost wall was lined with bookcases, shelving and glass containers, the only remnants of what must have been someone's study, now transformed into a viewing room with a large table of snacks and cakes. I made a mental note to grab some for Solas, who I would be seeing sooner rather than later if all went well.

My mind drifted away from the cakes and back to the giant window where people were all staring excitedly into, and then I realized the room around me had a certain… familiar green hue to it.

And then I saw it. There was a rift on the other side of that glass, though inactive, like a tear about to rip through if toyed with too much. My staff, the orb, shook against the wood containing it, and started to pull towards the rift. I took a step back, the gravity not strong enough to overpower me. I walked back into the hallway, occasionally glancing back as the lightning from the rift caught my eye.

“They shouldn’t be that close,” I hissed at the man as I stormed back into the hallway. He didn’t reply, only pulled the door closed and started walking again. I glared at the back of his head, orange hair pulled into a tight bun, ears as long as Sari’s. “This entire building should’ve been evacuated the minute it showed up.”

“You must understand, Lord Byron would never waste the opportunity to show off one of the world's greatest oddities, he’s been hosting grand parties for it for weeks.” He replied flatly, clearly uninterested in anything I had to say at this point. We came to a large set of stairs which he only motioned to, bowed, and then walked off. The second he was out of view I turned back to the group.

“These people are all going to die if that thing opens,” I whispered, pulling them in close. Nira and Sari both hummed in agreement as they all pooled in, standing in a tight circle.

“There's nothing we can do about it,” Tannis replied, “We’re here to deal with the Dalish, who care if a few Orlesians throw rocks at a rift and it eats them?”

“Tannis.” Nira snapped.

“Sorry.” Tannis sheepishly whispered.

“No I mean, Tannis has a point.” Sari interjected. I gave her a sideways look and she quickly continued, “Not the letting them get eaten by it part, but there's nothing we can do about it… and they don’t know that.”

“We can use it,” I gasped, my hand flying up to high five Sari’s, which she happily returned. I hadn’t high fived anyone in forever, I had partly assumed no one in Thedas actually, well, knew how, I guess.. “It's leverage, we’ll get rid of that if you say you’re sorry to the Dalish!”

“It’ll work right up until the point when we actually have to close it.” Nira said, “Unless you all forgot, The Herald is the only one who can close rifts, we can’t deliver.”

“I wouldn’t say we’d close it today, or tomorrow. I’d say we’ll “close it”, no time stamp. We can send Ben back to the Graves in a week or so, barring any terrible events.” AKA Corypheus attacking Haven and destroying it, thus forcing us to Skyhold, which should be nicely prepared by that point anyway. “It’s a win win.”

We were all smiling, each of us sharing the same knowing look before nodding. I turned to walk up the stairs, Tannis and Isannan standing guard, with Nira and Sari on either side of me, ready to take on anything. Guardian, who had been hiding quietly on my staff very suddenly spun around my neck, hanging like an ornamental necklace.

 _So you have something decent._ He muttered, his voice echoing. He surprised me sometimes, he was never what I expected him to be. Maybe that was the point of spirits.

 

The top of the stairs held a large blue door that was open, with multiple attendants standing around, the lot of them fake smiling underneath masks with painted on grins. The balcony was smaller than I’d anticipated, only a lounging area, with pillows of golds and browns, and lanterns hanging from above. There were people holding trays of food, sitting on the ground, feeding it to people in less than proper attire. And that's coming from the person who walked into a fancy party in full armor.

“I didn’t expect you,” Lord Byron’s voice was gritty, and as my eyes fell on him I realized this was a man who hadn’t slept in days. He stood across from me, leaning precariously on the granite railing, with a glass of wine in his hand. His skin was pale, and his mask was on the ground and broken, exposing his face was unkempt, facial hair allowed to grow and salt and pepper hair unwashed. “Inquisition, are you not?”

“I… yes, I am Melana, Head Advisor to the Inquisition. The envoy you sent informed us you needed assistance with elves fighting with demons, but made no comment about the rift in your backyard.” I replied, stepping towards him. He flinched, and held out a hand which I assumed meant I was to come no further. I didn't push. He was a man on the edge, quite literally, his hand running over his chin, scratching at his growing facial hair.

A laugh from the gaggle of women on the pillows. Our heads turned.

“Did you hear that? Head Advisor!” One woman laughed, her hair lopsided and sagging out of what I could only assume was once a beautiful updo. The ruby red lipstick smeared from recent… activities, is what caught my eyes. The women all wore masks, with just their lips visible. It was rather intoxicating. She leaned towards me, her delicate, long fingernails trailing over her swollen lips, and I had to hold my breath. “How very… progressive.”

Her teeth were sheer white against the shade of her lips, and the urge to do terrible things to that mouth rose like the tide through my body. I tore my eyes back to the pathetic man before me, his shirt undone and soup spilled on it, trying to ignore my ever present libito.

“Perhaps I should come back at a later time, when you and your…” my eyes glazed over to the woman who was now kissing in my direction. I tried to hide my sheepishness, clearing my throat. “When you and your guests are more prepared for my arrival.”

“Nonsense!” The woman snapped, causing all eyes to fall back to her, she’d certainly stolen the show, or at least she’d caught my attention in a way I wasn’t sure I understood yet. Byron looked irritated, and heading towards a boiling point I didn't want to see. The woman stood, with some difficulty, as most of her dress was, well how do I put this, gone. Bryon lept to help her, steadying her gate as she attempted to take a step forward. “Hush Byron I can walk.”

I wasn't sure at this point what I was seeing, and a quick glance to Nira told me she felt the same.

“My cousin doesn't know what he’s doing,” the woman huffed, pushing Byron out of her way to practically fling herself at me, witch Nira didn't like if the hand rushing to her sword was any indication. I caught her, easily with a hand to her waist. She began to sob into my shoulder and I caught the sight of Byron rolling his eyes. “The demons, they plague our dreams, I haven't gotten a good night's sleep in days!”

“I can have the rift closed, but I must ask something in return.” I said sympathetically (Though somewhat straight to the point), I wasn't sure how much the rift was actually affecting them. I didn't trust them, and i didn't much care if they had to suffer a little while longer.

“Of course, anything!” She begged, looking up at me from where she now sobbed against my chest plate, leaving gross smears of her makeup on my nice clean armor.

“I need an apology to the Dalish for not allowing them to peacefully conduct their yearly passage, along with wrongfully summoning us to and I quote, “get rid of them”.” I sighed, staring down at her pouting, whimpering face- all of which I could see, mind you, was her mouth, the rest obscured by her mask- as it shifted to an irritation I'd been expecting. She was small, lithe even, I could feel her against me, under my careful touch, and I had to clear my throat and look away from her masked eyes, embarrassed for some reason. I never was any good around pretty girls.

“That's all?” She asked coyly, sniffling.

“That's all.” I replied, nodding.

“Consider it done,” she said, standing upright and swirling around. My hands hovered where she’d just been before slowly returning behind my back. She waved to Byron who grimaced, but walked over. “My dear cousin will go to their little camp post haste, and make a full apology.”

“I… are you serious?” I mumbled under my breath. She turned, and I quickly cleared my throat. “Thank you so much, you can't even begin to imagine what this means to the Inquisition, and to us, personally.”

I motioned to Sari who stepped forward, her hands tight behind her back.

“My Dalish Ambassador can escort you directly to the keeper who I'm sure will be more than eager to see you.” I started, and Sari now at my side did a quick bow, which made the woman smile under her mask. I wondered momentarily what she must have really thought of us, the elven troop who wandered into her party.

“Yes go with her Byron, make sure to voice our apology appropriately,” She said, reaching up to the mound of hair that rested atop her head and was slowly sliding off. She plucked one pin from it and the entire thing fell to the ground with a thwump, revealing her actual hair, which was pinned flat with a cap she quickly tore off, allowing her auburn locks to fall around her shoulders. “In the meantime, you’ll join me for Tea, won’t you Lady Melana?”

I… stared at her, somewhat surprised, but mostly confused. Byron walked by me and followed Sari down the stairs, leaving Nira and I rather stunned.

The woman seemed to notice my hesitation. She looked to her entourage of beautiful woman strewn about her lounging area.

“You may leave,” She said, waving to the girls. They all stopped giggling and smiling, looking at her with unmoving masked faces. The woman raised an eyebrow, then started snapping her gloved hand impatiently. “Now!”

All of them jumped up, startled, trying to gather themselves and- well most of their clothes, before running barefoot back inside.

She chirped a laugh before waving towards the door, as it suddenly shut behind us. Nira looked nervously around, eyes wide, clearly starting to feel trapped.

“We really shouldn’t stay,” I started, clearing my throat and startingto back slowly up. “I should really watch over the conversation between Lord Byron and the Keeper.”

“Nonsense,” She barked, walking over to the small concessions table and grabbing a bottle of wine. She uncorked it, the pop making the crowd below cheer. I had almost forgotten where we were, so absorbed in the surprise of being received so well. I crossed the balcony and looked down at the party, the bouncing, laughing party below. The music was beautiful, sad and filled with longing, but beautiful. “You will be spending this afternoon with me I should think, your little guard can stay as well, if you like.”

I turned back to look at her, now a glass of wine in either of her hands, and, much to my surprise, her mask gone. I hadn’t expected that, Orlesian people clung to their masks. It was their entire identity. My eyes frantically tried to take her face in, absorb it and what it meant. She was wearing make up, obviously, lashes long and batting to hide her green eyes, cheeks pink with a blush that seemed unnatural. Her nose slightly upturned and splattered with freckles against her pale white skin, her bangs swooping down to almost obscure one eye, she reached up to tucked them behind her… her ear. My eyes flicked from one of her ears to the other, trying to figure out what was so off about them, they were certainly human ears, but they had… a curve to them, almost a tip.

Our eyes met again, there was a shine to them that was so very familiar.

Then it clicked. A half elf.

She held the drink towards me, and I shot a glance to Nira who now stood out of her view. She nodded, knowingly. She’d seen them too. I reached out and took the drink from her hand, a smile growing on her face, but not quite reaching her eyes.

“If that’s alright with you, of course.” She sighed as she draped herself over the railing next to me, putting the glass to her lips and taking a small sip. “I’d hate to be an inconvenience.”

“I…” my eyes were stuck on the lipstick imprint she’d left on the glass. I shook my head, bringing the drink to my lips. “I can stay for a serving of wine, I wouldn’t want to pass up the opportunity to enjoy a party.”

She smirked. I took a sip. My lips made no such stain, as I wasn’t wearing any kind of makeup.

I made eye contact with Nira who mouthed, “What are you doing?”

I waved at her to hush, and turned around, back to the party, leaning on the marble handrail next to the woman who had still not told me her name. I was… curious, to say the least. She was a stranger, by all rights, but she had a strange sort of familiarity to her.

“You seem to be a strange woman,” I said into my glass as I tipped it back again. It was red, heavy and stinging my mouth. It was beyond smooth, rich Orlesian wine at it's finest, sweet and easy, much like the woman before me. “I wonder why you’d want my company.”

“Should I not?” She asked, her hair flicking up into a breeze, I tried not to let it hold my gaze but I was quickly failing. She spun, facing me, making me jump. Her eyes were twinkling, I was regretting this. She smelled like roses. “I think perhaps you and I would be a marvelous team if we were to become allied.”

She was smiling, her teeth bright and clean and even, a strange sight for a fantasy world.

“I don’t even know your name,” I scoffed in response, taking another careful drink, staring out at the crowd, trying to brush her off. She seemed young, flouncy.

“Karina,” She hummed, “Lady Karina.”

“No last name?” I asked, tipping my glass and shifting so my body was facing her, but still leaning on the rail.

“I could ask you the same question.” She snapped back, and a shudder ran through my body, my head snapping up to make eye contact with her. Her gaze was heavy against mine, her lips parted as she took a long, heavy drink from her glass. I studied her face more closely, did I… Did I know her? Had we met in the life I had before this? Was this another person who was mysteriously brought to this world? Or was she just trying to be cute?

 _Calm down,_ Guardian huffed from his necklace form around my neck. _You have been staring at her far too long. Say something._

“Yes!” I said, a little too loudly. I cleared my throat, putting the wine down, clinking it against the handrail. “Yes, I imagine you and I could do a lot together.”

“I’m glad you agree,” She said with a wink, pushing herself up and walking over to her cozy area, slowly cascading down onto it, all without spilling a drop of her wine. She pooled into a corner, draped delicately out to show off just enough to send heat through my chest. Her dress was barely more than a bodice, torn leggings and ripped skirts barely hiding her body. Her arms outstretched, her fingers trailing a pattern over the pillow next to her, her legs twirling out before her. Her legs were… I broke my eyes away from what they wanted to study, and forced them back to her face.

She was doing this on purpose, I could see it on her expression, she liked watching me feel uncomfortable. I shot a glance to Nira, who only shrugged before mouthing, “Solas”. What? What she trying to guilt trip me for looking at pretty legs? I rolled my eyes at her before sitting down on the pillow next to Karina, who immediately hiked her knee up over my lap, pinning me.

“If I’d known such charming elves were leading the inquisition, I would’ve sent for you months ago!” She chirped, putting her free hand to my chest plate. I could only blink, staring, stunned at her leg. She could be a little less obvious with her advances. Nira loudly cleared her throat and I flinched, grabbing Karina’s leg and carefully putting it back where it was previously. She pouted.

“I appreciate that,” I started, trying to sit up a bit. It was uncomfortable to be sitting in full armor. “Perhaps if I’d known about the rift in your home I would’ve come sooner. But you must understand, I’m not the leader of the Inquisition.”

“Aren’t you?” She huffed, looking a little offended.

“Currently the Inquisition has no leader, but it is expected that the Herald of Andraste will soon take the title of Inquisitor.” I replied, trying to scoot a bit away from her ever encroaching self. “I’m just one of his advisors.”

“Head advisor, you said.” She snapped, suddenly a slight less warm and welcoming. Had this been… had she been flirting because she thought I had power?

“I assure you I am the Head Advisor to the Herald of Andraste, Benjamin Trevelyan.” I sighed, putting my drink to the side. “We work together to ensure that the rifts are closed, and Thedas is healed.”

“Ah, so you’re second in command,” She said, her voice a slight bit more inviting once again, and I realized then that yes, this was her trying to grasp at my power. How strange, what a weird situation to be in. It felt like a slightly masculine role for me to play, and I wondered if they’d sent Cullen on this mission, if he’d have been given the same welcome. Perhaps not, judging by all the pretty girls that had been near naked laying around her earlier. Maybe if Leliana had come.

“I am The Heralds most trusted friend, I don’t know that I would say I’m second in command but-” she cut me off with a finger to my lips.

“It matters not, I am convinced, I shall swear allegiance to the Inquisition.” She announced proudly before downing the last of her wine. “I shall write to my father to send his men to our aid, and in return, you will take me away from this hellish place.”

Her face turned sorrowful, and for the first time I noticed the bruises on her legs, barely obscured by her tights, the bags under her eyes… the strange markings on her arms. She hadn’t been lying, nightmares truly had been plaguing this girl. That or someone was beating her. I hoped it wasn’t the latter.

“I… am curious as to why you’re making such a hasty decision, I’ve not known you half an hour yet you eagerly jump to join us?” I asked, putting a hand to her shoulder and extending magic into her. I felt no power inside her, and she made no sign of reacting when my mana brushed against her skin. I quietly healed her bruises, but she didn’t seem to notice.

“I’ve heard good things about the Inquisition, and you were further proof of their love for the Elvhen kind. I sent my aunt to you with false accusations about the Dalish on purpose.” She admitted, sitting up and adjusting her bodice. I frowned at her, confused. “It was a test, to see how you would handle the elves. You see, reports about being kind to elves, and seeing you be kind to elves, are two very different things.”

“If you don’t mind me asking-” she cut me off again.

“Yes, I am a half elf, on my mother’s side. She was not Dalish, if that was one of your concerns. She was a lot like you, bare faced, no last name…” She trailed off, staring at her now empty wine glass. She sat up suddenly, beaming at me. “But that’s besides the point, the point is, I like you, I like what you’re doing and how you’re doing it.”

“I see...” I stared at her, unsure of how to respond, looking from her back to Nira, who was staring at the ground, ignoring me. I shook my head, knowing I had to make decisions on my own like a big girl. I scratched the back of my head. “Then I could surely never refuse you my lady.”

I stood, turning to face her. With a bow, I said, “We expect to leave tomorrow, and I should be honest with you, I cannot close the rift.”

She jumped to her feet, her expression outraged. I heard Nira facepalm behind me.

“Forgive me, but none here have the ability to close it, only the Herald of Andraste can do something that great. But he will be informed of your plight and he will return here within the coming days to fix it.” I spoke quickly, not wanting to give her the opportunity to voice her outrage. “Our original intent was to trick you into thinking we would close it quickly, but after judging your character and… thinking better of myself, I must chose to be honest with you.”

Her expression slowly softened as she stepped down from the lounge area, and bare feet hit the concrete balcony, forcing me to step back out of her way. She held a hand out to me.

“It is of no concern to me, if we are to be leaving tomorrow then I shall travel to your camp tonight, the nightmares cannot plague me if I am not here to be plagued.” She spoke firmly, her smile finally reaching her eyes, making them twinkling and shine in the late morning sunlight.

I took her hand and shook it, which is what I could only assume was what she was going for. She gripped me tight and shook like she meant it. I got caught there a moment, looking down at her, her smile bright and full of wonder, and I couldn’t help but smile back, if not for the amazing alliance I just got the inquisition, then for being able to get this poor woman out of here. I felt a hand on my shoulder.

“My Lady we should be going,” Nira said softly, loud enough that she knew Karina could hear, but low enough to make it seem like it was meant just for me. She hesitated pulling away, shooting a glance to Karina before stepped back like the obedient servant she currently played.

“I apologize, I am on a bit of a schedule,” I chuckled, cupping her hand in mine with a soft smile. “I look forward to travelling with you.”

With that, I bent down and kissed her hand, before following Nira out the door, and back down the stairs.

“What was that?” Nira whispered as we past Karina’s groupies who were all just laying about the stairs as though it was a bed.

“I honestly could not tell you if I tried,” was the only response I could muster as I hurried down the stairs. Tannis and Isannan were gone, as I’d hoped they’d be, I hadn’t wanted Sari and Lord Byron alone for any amount of time. Any. The man had left no kind of impression on me, overshadowed by his cousin, obviously. But if the bruises left on her were of his making… then he shouldn’t be anywhere near Sari.

Nira and I made our way out of the mansion in quiet whispers which were mainly her teasing me about getting attacked by a lady of high standing and how she certainly wasn’t going to tell Solas how much I enjoyed it. We were in the garden again, half way out of the party when I remembered Sera had most certainly come with us, hadn’t she?

“Wait by the gate Nira,” I huffed, breaking off from her to march over to the buffet table where Sera was piling, what looked like her third plateful of cakes onto a tray with a bottle of wine on it. “Seriously.”

“Melly!” Sera jumped, nearly dropping her tray on the ground. “There you are!”

“There I am? Sera you’ve been down here eating cake for the better part of an hour.” I laughed, grabbing a plate and going straight for the frilly cakes on display, and not skipping over what looked like blackberry cheesecake? Hell yeah!

“Wha- have not!” She barked, before looking down at her tray and then quietly going, “I’ve been… doin other things too!”

“Yeah, yeah, alright, wrap that up and let’s go, come on, we’ve gotta go back to the Dalish camp, I’m sure the Keeper would love your tray of offerings.” I motioned to her plate as I popped a strawberry in my mouth, winking as I backed away from her and towards Nira at the gate. Sera shrugged her shoulders and scowled as she followed after me shouting profanities as she did.

I shot one more look to Karina on the balcony as we walked off, she was holding her mask in her hands, the face staring back at her. She turned away, tossing the mask over the balcony as she left, the porcelain piece falling and shattering on the steps below.

 

We didn’t return to camp, instead, deciding to head over to the Dalish camp, much to everyone’s irritation. It was another hour long hike through the woods to the camp before we were being welcomed inside. Someone took the plate from Sera, agreeing to give it to the Keeper, who was still in her araval. Not only that, apparently she was still refusing to meet with Sari and Byron who had returned near an hour before us. And he was starting to lose patience.

I caught sight of Isannan and Tannis being fawned over by girls, young and old, as we passed the large campfire. We couldn’t linger however, marching straight for the Keepers araval. I refused to be ignored, or lied to any longer.

Sari was yelling, I could hear her before we’d even gotten there.

“This is ridiculous! Let me see my mother!” She screamed, just as we turned the corner to the nook the Keeper’s araval was kept in. She was holding the guard up by the scruff of his coat, about to hit him.

“Hey!” I shouted, jogging over to her. “Enough!”

She dropped him upon seeing me, and the boy clambered to his feet, drawing his sword. She only rolled her eyes, crossing her arms and stepping back.

“You good?” I whispered, pulling her over to me. She nodded, rubbing her temples.

“It’s bullshit, something's wrong, they aren’t letting anyone in.” She mumbled back, keeping her head down, the two of us walking a bit away.

“What do you mean, not even a healer?” I asked, shooting glances back to Byron, who was leaning against the rock wall opposite us. He looked bored.

“She is the healer.” She snapped back, running a nervous hand through her hair.

My eyes went wide, and I chastised her for not telling me that earlier, rushing back over to the nervous little elf who held his sword in my direction.

“Put that down kid,” I snapped, and he flinched at my harsh tone, but slowly obeyed. I took a deep breath, a little winded after having to walk so much today, and talk. Just too much in general. “Look, I’m a healer, whatever is wrong with the Keeper, I can help.”

He looked me up and down, from the staff on my back, to the ears on my head, all the way down to the orlesian boots I wore. I wasn’t sure if he was doubting me, he looked to Sari who nodded her approval, and ever so slowly, he stepped to the side. I had never moved so quickly, I flew the door open with one swift movement, rushing inside the small room, where just across her little sitting area, was a large bed, with the Keeper lying inside it. She looked terrible, was my first thought.

My second was to close and lock the door behind me. The air was filled with smoke, smoke that glistened with Red Lyrium.

 _Don’t breathe,_ Guardian snapped, suddenly shifting up from my neck to cover my mouth and nose like a gas mask. I listened, holding my breath as I frantically looked around the room for the source of the smoke. Something soft brushed against my face, between my mouth and guardians bark. I felt him, casting? Magic radiated from his small form, and then suddenly I recognized the sensation against my lips. Leaves.

 _You may breath again,_ He said quietly, and I exhaled the breath I’d been holding far too long, and gasped in another, taking a moment to adjust to the strange breathing apparatus he’d just made. _You are welcome._

The source of the smoke was not what I expected it to be, I’d thought maybe an incense or her pipe, but no… The smoke came from every breath she took. Her lips were crystallized,  her mouth turned charred and red, and as I stood over her, her eyes flew open to reveal hazy, red pupils. She frantically looked around, searching for something, I know not what.

“You idiot…” I whispered, pulling over a stool and sitting down next to her. “You’ve been smoking this even though you knew it was tainted, haven’t you?”

She pressed her lips together, trying to lick them wet, but they remained stone. She croaked something out, a grunt that was probably meant to be words.

“Why would you do something like that? You kept the entire caravan here just so you can smoke this, this… drug? And you give me the run around, making me do the “path of fen’harel”, and then asking me to get you an apology?” I laughed, “Why? In the hopes of getting rid of me?”

“I-I…” She coughed, scratching at her throat, desperately trying to swallow, to get moisture inside her. I scowled, putting a hand to her chest and extending my mana out into her, she was hot like fire, and I had to immediately pull back. The power was radiating off of her, the Lyrium hummed in her veins as I touched her, turning her skin red. She convulsed under my touch, her eyes rolling back. I fumbled backwards, hands trying to shake off the touch of red lyrium against them.

She shook, and the room shook with her, I desperately tried to hold on, the sound of my breath as amplified to me as it was muffled to the world. Then, suddenly, she let out a blood curdling scream, and the doors and windows all flew open, wood splintering around us. I clamped my hands over my ears, recognizing the paralyzing sound of a fear demons screech.

Nira shouted something, and I realized she’d come in through the broken door, and was now rushing towards the Keeper. I tried to yell for her to stop but she didn’t hear me, getting thrown across the room and slamming into the wall of the araval, pinned there, choking. I looked back to the Keeper, now standing, her head tilted to one side, eyes blood red and locked on Nira, her hand held out like she was choking her.

I lept to my feet, drawing the dagger hidden under my belt, and dove for the Keeper. She held out her other hand, and I went flying, the dagger falling from my hand as I became pinned next to Nira. There was pressure around my throat, and I realized I couldn’t breath. I tried to scream, but nothing came out, the world going dark.

 _No!_ Guardian screamed, but he too was pinned by the force of energy pushing us to the wall. I felt Nira’s hand brush mine, and glanced up to see a tear running down her cheek, just as my vision went dark, and my head slumped over, defeated.

  


Light burst through the room as a bolt of lightning slammed into the Keeper’s chest, sending her falling back, and Nira and I dropping onto the floor. We coughed, both hungry for the air we needed to live, she was crying, sobbing quietly in between laughter. I thought maybe I was going to throw up, the sensation of death still lingering over my head. I’d given up, I’d stopped fighting. Oliver’s smile flashed through my mind and I started to sob, thinking how he’d almost lost me.

Glass shattered out of nowhere and I remembered where I was, trying to get to my feet but my body still shaking. Then, the source of the lightning appeared, Sari stepped into the room, over us, over the broken bits of her childhood scattered around, and towards her mother, who was quickly recovering.

“Go,” Sari snapped, bolts of purple electricity bouncing from her skin. I listened, knowing when it was time for me to bow out, I threw Nira’s arm over my shoulder and stood, throwing a barrier over Sari before hustling out of the araval. The lightning crackled, bursting out of her and hitting everything, burning the ground and electrifying the air. I dropped Nira outside, Tannis and Isannan both standing there, ready to take her from me, before I was bolting back inside.

I recognized what was happening to Sari, I could feel it on her.

“Is this what you wanted, mother?!” She screamed, still walking slowly towards her, waves of purple lightning pulsing from her. The world shook as she knelt down to her mother’s side, the woman now completely lost to the Lyrium, screaming like a banshee.  

I had to shield my eyes from the light shining from Sari’s skin. Her mother's screams turned into gasps and gurgles as Sari began pelting her with blasts of lightning, until the Keeper was silent, unmoving save for the convulsions caused by Sari’s near constant barrage of energy. Sari was still screaming.

She fell to her knees, gravity rocking as another wave of electricity buzzed through the air.

“Sari! Stop!” I shouted, daring to push closer towards her. She didn't respond, still screaming, tears streaming down her face. I couldn’t get close, not without danger of hurting myself, the energy coming off of her was enough to fry a bear.

A second wave and the world around us was lit with purple fire.

I remembered the last time i saw magic get this out of control.

She looked towards me as I called her name again, and her eyes were like lightning themselves.

So I dove.

I threw myself around her, pulling her into a tight hug. I felt the power hit my body like a tsunami, and I knew the sensation better than i wanted to. Something ripped across my back and chest, I felt blood in my mouth but I ignored it.

“Sari it’s okay,” I meant to whisper it but I thought maybe I heard myself screaming. “Focus on me, focus on only me.”

I put a hand to either side of her head, steadying her gaze to meet mine. She blinked away tears. I pressed my forehead to hers, gently caressing her cheek with my thumb.

“You’re safe, you’re safe…” i repeated it, kissing her forehead, whispering softly until the purple faded from her eyes, and the fires around us died down. She sighed and closed her eyes, her head lowering until she was cradled in my lap. “Hush now da’len.”

She shuddered once more as my fingers trailed through her hair, the last of her energy escaping as a soft breath.

We stayed there as Nira and Tannis came in and… cleaned up, I didn't want to move her, and I probably wouldn't have if her little brother hadn't shown up. But explaining had to be done, and it was my job to do it.

 

An hour later, after much explaining, apologizing, and paying for damages, Sari was tucked away in my bed at camp. Her brother was at her side, he was a mess through the entire thing. Sari was the first, she was meant to be next in line now that her mother was… gone. And he wasn't sure how to tell her about it.

“She's still asleep?” I asked as I entered my tent, I’d had to take Byron back to his manor, where Karina had ended the party somewhat early. Byron hadn't been too happy about it, but all in all seemed rather indifferent, perhaps happy he no longer had to say sorry. Karina was already at camp when I returned, and much to my surprise had a rater plain looking tent.

“Yeah, she’s been talking a lot though, mumbling.” He replied, rubbing sleep from his eyes. He must have dozed off.

It was just past afternoon, only one or maybe two I’m not sure, but the weight of a busy day still sat heavily on my shoulders, and it wasn't even over yet.

I crossed the room, making my way to the map table. I knew we were leaving tomorrow, but I didn’t know where all this nice tent stuff was going. Would it stay here as an outpost? Probably. No one had told me otherwise.

There were letters I’d mostly ignored the night before, and my mind drifted to the one Cullen had sent. I leaned on the table as I read and reread the letter. It still made no sense, details that were vague about a mage I didn't know, a boy apparently.

I sighed, running a tired hand over my face to try and stimulate my brain, make me remember. But how could I forget an entire mage? I glared at the letter for what I’m sure was too long, before tossing it to the side. Whatever Cullen thought was happening, he must've been wrong. It was the only conclusion I could come to.

I slumped in my seat, still in full armor of course so everything clinked together uncomfortably.

“I can give you some privacy, if you like.” The boy- whose name my brain refused to remember- spoke from his seat next to my bed where his sister still lay.

“I’d appreciate that, Nira is meant to come by soon and we're supposed to go scouting, I have to change into less clunky clothes.” I chuckled, standing up and stretching out. He quickly shuffled away from the bed, chancing a quick glance to his sister before hurrying nervously out of my tent.

“I must learn his name at some point,” I mumbled as I stepped over to Sari’s side. The lightning had taken its toll on both of us, it had exhausted her much like the flames had drained me a lifetime ago. Her lightning had danced under my skin, and tore open my left thigh and back. The thigh I healed, leaving only a dark purple scar zig zagging from knee to hip. The back… the back I had to heal uncomfortably, and incompletely. The scar on my back would be far more dramatic than the one on my thigh.

On the plus side, it would give Sari the opportunity to work on a scar tissue healing spell similar to the one I used on my thigh. She was powerful, far more powerful than I if she could take down the Keeper so easily. Not that it had been simple; it seemed like the kind of situation that would put emotional strain on anyone.

She groaned, her face twisting into a scowl before rolling over and away from me, then immediately rolling back. Unsettling dreams perhaps.

I put my hand to her forehead. She didn’t feel warm, but in her state the fade wasn’t exactly a safe place.

 _Shall I protect the girl where you cannot?_ Guardian’s voice rang clear as though he was in the room with me, and in a way he was, resting still around my neck. I only had to nod and he was slithering down my arm and onto her forehead, wrapping his form over her head like a circlet. _Nightmares, no worries, she’ll sleep soundly now._

“Will I have to leave you with her?” I asked, then quickly continued, “Would… would you be able to maintain connection to this world if we are apart?” I asked, running delicate touches over the ornate design he’d created in the circlet. We’d never been too far apart before, he’d always been very adamant about staying at my side. I’d really only removed him from my person once or twice, and not for longer than an hour.

 _I need not stay, I have fought off what demons plagued her. But in the future, so long as your heart continues to beat in this world my connection will not fade._ He replied with ice in his monotone voice, something of a threat perhaps, trying to remind me not to die while I’m without him. Sari stirred no more, a soft expression on her sleeping face as her chest rose, and then fell. Sound asleep in a happy dream that Guardian no doubt created for her.

“I will try and keep my heart beating then.” Was my response before scooping him back up and placing him carefully on my own head. I was honestly more than relieved that he could do something like that for her. It meant I didn’t have to sit down and meditate my way into the fade to straighten out her mind myself. It meant I could keep getting dressed for my walk with Nira.

  
  


Later that night, I was finally walking back into my tent with the intent to sleep. Nira had drug me across most of the emerald graves and I was exhausted. Nira on the other hand decided she wanted nothing more than to romp through the forest like a wolf, and was probably going to be out all night. I’d planned to fall right into bed, but the letters on my desk troubled me once again.

I sat down in the large chair positioned at the head of the table, angrily turning Cullen’s letter over again and again in my hand, the only sound the soft, steady breathing of Sari accompanied by the flicker of a single candle on the table.

The words of the letter repeated in my head, and I knew something was wrong about it. Something I couldn’t put my finger on. Like… like a memory I couldn’t find. A thought that was constantly on the tip of my tongue before racing down my throat, just out of reach.

I chased that thought, kicking my left boot off under the table with some difficulty before deftly pushing the right boot off with the curl of my toes. My feet were sore, aching from overuse. I never used to exert myself like this. But then again, I used to live in the city, I’d always loved a good run through the forest in my younger days.

A mumble from Sari broke me from my train of thought. Again I’d gotten distracted from the task at hand, I always was far too distractible.

I shook the aches and pains away, rubbing my tired eyes before turning my attention back to the letter. I’d dismissed this too many times, there was something about it, I knew there was! Like a… a shadow over my mind.

I read it again, this time, as someone from an outside perspective. Someone playing a game. He mentioned… a boy, a mage at that, someone I brought back. If he’d been talking about Oliver, he would have simply called him by name. For that matter, he’d have called most anyone by rank and name, not just, “Mage boy”. What's worse was his insistence that I’d brought him back with me from Orlais. Surely he didn’t mean Sera, and I’d heard nothing of Percival and his friends arriving.  
My memory only mentioned those few people, nothing more. So… either Cullen was wrong, or… My memory had been altered. But very few people could poses powers like that. The only one I really knew of was-

Was….

Wait…

I stood suddenly, running a hand through my hair and scratching angrily at my scalp, as though that could summon the thought.

I knew this! I knew this like it was written on the back of my hand! I knew I knew this, so why, why, why! Why couldn’t I summon his name.

His face, his voice, anything. A character had been removed from my memory completely. One I liked, one I knew.

I was pacing now, frantically looking around the room, my hands shaking before forming fists at my sides. How could someone have tampered so drastically with my memory; how could I not notice. How… did I notice. Those things were usually fool proof, with the memory gone, you don’t think about it. My eyes glanced back to Cullens letter which now lay crumpled on the table. How had Cullen noticed. Clearly he didn’t remember too much about the boy, other than his gender and magical abilities.

I slowly made my way back over to the table, my bare feet padding on the warm carpeted floor. My fingers touched the edge of the letter, and for the first time, I checked it for magic. Low and behold, the faintest aura bounced off of it, a spell that was barely there. But as soon as I realized it was magical, the thing burst into flames, causing me to flinch away in fear. The blue flame, almost like veilfire, lit the room in a sharp light before fizzing out seconds later.

 _I did not recognize that magic._ Guardian hissed, sliding down to my wrist. _I did not even realize your mind was altered until you did._

“Hell of a guardian, I thought you were supposed to prevent spirits and demons from messing with me.” I huffed, bending down to get a look at the ashes left from the letter. They were slowing blowing away, though there was not even a breeze to disrupt them.

 _It must have been one of the times I was not in contact with your physical form. A time when you assumed you were safe._ He replied evenly, his voice as calm as ever, as though someone hadn’t broken into my mind and stolen precious memories.

“I take you off only to bathe and to… well.” I blushed, remembering exactly what I’d taken him off to do. The memory of Solas’ touch momentarily distracted me, crossing my knees to fight the sudden urges. I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter now, all that matters is I get those memories back.”

 _I don’t know how to do those magics._ He said, his voice almost sad. Maybe… regretful?

“I didn’t expect you to hahren,” I chuckled, the endearing term leaving my lips before I could stop it. My shoulders went stiff, and his form shifted on my wrist, as though he was also surprised by the term.

A moment of silence passed between us.

 _Hahren?_ He asked, and I swear, I heard his smile, something almost alien to his tone. _Is this to be my new title?_

“I… it… I often consider you second only to Solas, you’re my protector as much as he is,” The sudden rawness of my voice shocked me, the laid bare type of honesty which seemed to come out more and more recently. I decided to blame it on the Graves, it certainly was taking some kind of toll on me.

 _It is an appropriate title._ He replied, voice back to nonplussed and bored. _Nonetheless, you will need a different power than mine to lift this veil._

“Solas,” I sighed, staring at the ground now, hands on either of my hips. I fought a yawn, a fight I lost, my eyes getting blurry as my mouth opened wide, I instinctively tried to cover the exhale with the back of my hand.  

 _Indeed._ He hummed, _but perhaps this is not the time to focus on such things._

“Sleep?”

_Sleep._

I stumbled across the room like a drunkard, my balance shaken from my realization of lost memories. I almost forgot Sari, who was still unconscious in my bed, snoring away. Her brow was furrowed, and I realized maybe taking Guardian with me wasn’t the best of ideas. She needed him to fight off the nightmares. I pushed my worried thoughts aside, quickly stripping away my outer layers, leaving my armor where it fell, and eventually sliding gently into bed next to her. I quickly guided Guardian onto her neck before I rolled away, not wanting to stare at her sleeping face.

It was uncomfortable, trying to squish away from her touch as not to disturb her slumber, but it was almost impossible to sit still with my growing anxiety. She needed this time to recover, she didn’t need me waking her up in the middle of it.

I struggled to sleep the entire night, much like I knew I would, the worry of my memories weighing heavily on my mind. I was always bad at sleeping with a person for the first time anyway, the late night panic attacks weren’t helping. I missed Solas, I missed how in the middle of the night he would always draw runes into my skin to make me comfortable. I missed the way he pulled me against him like I was a teddy bear for him to pin. Sari kicked in her sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I refuse to make promises about when I'll update next! But I promise you this, I WILL UPDATE MORE!! I HAVE A LOT PLANNED FOR THIS FIC!


	30. Undeserving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been the craziest couple of months of my life and I'm gonna diiiiiieeee I'm so tired, but here. 10k words should be enough to satiate you A N I M A L S for half a minute.

I awoke with a start, loud clanging of pots and pans jarring my barely sleeping mind awake. I sat up quickly, throwing my head into my hands to try and block out the sounds of the early camp. Of course at first I thought it was the camp, but then I remembered that there were wards up all around my tent to keep sound in or out. I frantically scanned my tent until my eyes settled on the source of the noise.

Sera.

“Sera?” I mumbled, throwing my legs over the side of the bed. She was standing on a stool, arms above my war table chair, rope in her hands and a bucket of now spilt water on the ground below her. Her hand slowly pulled away from the beam above the table, water dripping from her sleeves. She looked sheepishly towards me.

“Ohhh! Hey Melly, you’re up early!” She spoke slowly, like speaking to a child as she carefully descended, her hands tucking behind her back to hide the rope.

I blinked blearily, far too tired to want to deal with this.

“Sera were you… pranking me? Is that what this was?” I asked with a laugh to my voice, but there was no humor to it, in fact there was almost a bite to my tone. I stood away from the bed and started walking towards the now fumbling Sera who was trying to kick the bucket under the table.

“Pranking you? Who? Me?” She laughed nervously, trying to lean nonchalantly on the back of my chair, but slipping and almost smacking her face. I was to her now, face stern as I examined her, my eyelids heavy with the desire to go back to sleep. Sera was known to prank people, it was one of her main personality points. But… she did it to lighten the mood. To make people forget about their troubles for a moment, a distraction.

She was trying to be kind.

I could imagine the dialogue she’d probably had with herself, about how miserable I looked, how tired. How stressed I must have been after, well, everything this trip had dumped on me.

My irritated face faded into a soft smile, almost happy she’d thought of me at all.

“Thank you, Sera,” I sighed, my arms relaxing at my sides. “I understand what you were trying to do, and I appreciate it.”

“I wasn’t gonna hurt you or nothin! Just a bit of water!” She started going into full defense mode, as though she hadn’t heard what I said. Her hands flew into the air, ready to argue me out of my supposed anger, before she stopped, frozen. “Wait… did you say…” Her hands lowered slowly down, her posture changing from defiant back to sheepish. Her voice was high pitched as she finally replied to my statement with a simple: “You do?”

“It’s been a heavy trip, a prank would’ve been a good laugh to end it on.” I replied, bending over to pluck the bucket out from under the table. It was cold against my bed warmed fingers, not to mention still dripping with water. I brushed it off as I stood back up before handing it to her. “Maybe next time you should go for something a little less wet. Like lizards, you know, Solas dislikes lizards quite a bit. I’m sure he’d be extremely surprised to find them in his bedroll at the end of the day.”

I winked as she took the metal bucket from my hands and clutched it to her chest with a devious smile, as though I’d just given her the keys to a castle.

“Lizards? Really?” She scoffed.

“Really,” I continued, “But, obviously, I didn’t tell you that.”

“Riiiight,” She sang, slowly backing up towards the exit, now laughing. She held the bucket up over her head as she ran out, yelling: “I’m gonna go fill this thing with lizards!”, as she went.

I chuckled softly, happy to plant the seed of destruction in her mind. She’d have thought of it eventually, I’m sure, but now the prank would come sooner, rather than later.

I looked down at myself, my undergarments the only thing covering my body. I had almost forgotten that I’d just stripped the night before. The night before… My eyes trailed to the pile of ashes that was once a letter, and for a moment I thought maybe I’d forgotten why it was so important, but Guardian twisted on my forehead, and the memories came flowing back.

 _It seems whomever took these memories from you is persistent._ He sighed, _I would keep those ashes with you, I only have the power to remind you that your memories have been tampered with if you are aware that something's wrong._

“What? You mean,” I ran a finger over the ashes, a few droplets of Sera’s prank had melted the blackness away, causing it to stick to my finger tip. I rubbed the filth between my thumb and index finger. “If I lose these ashes, and nothing else reminds that something wrong, I could just forget?”

 _Unfortunately, yes, that is the manner of this curse put upon you._ His response wasn’t comforting to say the least. I crossed the room, grabbing a small, empty potion bottle from the table. I wouldn’t be letting it off my person, I had to remember, needed to remember. _It wants your memories to fade, do not allow them to._

“I don’t intend to let them take any more from my mind,” I grumbled back, scraping the remains of the letter into the small bottle, before corking it firmly and heading to dig through my backpack. I changed quickly, putting on my basic travelling outfit which was, admittedly, still rank from the last time I’d worn it. I’d not done laundry the entire time we’d been in the graves, such menial tasks had been put to the back of my mind.

I tried to ignore the smell of my leather pants as I pulled them on, hoping beyond hope that it would just go away throughout the day. I tied my belt around my waist a bit tighter than normal; it was going to cary precious cargo after all. I was careful while looping a leather strap around the neck of the bottle, checking the contents, making sure it was safe. Funny how I needed such a small thing to keep my mind in tact. I tied the leather tight to my belt, giving it a tug before feeling satisfied.

I let my hair down, out of the braid Nira had put in the day before, allowing it to flow down naturally. It was wavy this morning, thick and full and clean after being in a braid. I swiftly brushed it out and pulled it up into my signature ponytail, measuring it's length before continuing on. It was certainly getting longer faster than before. I used to grow maybe 3 inches every few months, but I’d been in Thedas about a month and it was almost six inches longer. I would need a cut soon, maybe it was something to do with some other such magic I wasn’t aware of, surely if someone could take my memories away, they could make my hair grow quickly.

I checked on Sari several times as I got packed, but the girl was still asleep. She seemed insistent on getting as much sleep as possible. I even asked Guardian at one point if she was alright, and he only said something about resting well for the journey ahead.

I’d been awake about an hour when suddenly Tannis and Isannan came bursting into my tent, already in a heated argument which quickly came to a stop when their eyes landed on me, standing mid motion next to the war table. I’d been packing up the remainder of my letters, not expecting this sudden interruption.

“I’m done waiting! You said we’d talk last night, and I didn’t push, because of the whole Sari thing, but come on!” Isannan pleaded, quickly making his way over to me. “You have to give me something!”

“Oh, uh-” I stuttered, putting the handfuls of missives down.

“Isannan!” Tannis barked, smacking his lovers chest. “You can’t yell at her! She’s our boss now!”

“It’s no big-” I started but was immediately cut off by Isanan throwing himself back into an argument with Tannis about, well, me. I shot a glance to Sari, who was still sound asleep. Which was… troubling.

“She’s our friend!” Isannan snapped back, “She promised to tell us what's going on, and she hasn’t yet, doesn’t that bother you?”

“Of course it does, but she’s the leader of the inquisition!” Tannis replied, throwing his arms around in anger. “She gets to make choices like that!”

“I’m actually not the-” I tried to interject but was once again interrupted and ignored.

“Oh please, if I did something like this to you, you’d be livid.” Isannan scoffed, turning his  back to Tannis.

“Boys!” I shouted, slamming my bare hand flat against the table. The noise startled them, both turning to face me with scared expressions. My gaze softened. “Ah, I’m sorry just, can you two shut up for half a second so I can explain what's going on?”

“You will?” Isannan asked, hopeful. Tannis elbowed him, it almost sparked another fight. Children, they were children.

“Of course! I promised didn’t I? Sit,” I motioned to the set of chairs at the war table, and they quickly obeyed. I poured us each a glass of water, putting a cup in front of each of them before slumping down into my own seat at the head of the table. “First, how is the prep going for leaving?”

“You want a morning report?” Tannis scoffed, holding his drink between both hands.

“I believe that's what I asked for, yes.” I replied, more bitterly than I’d intended to, I blamed my short response on my lack of a good night's sleep.

“Well, uh, packing is mostly done. The tents and most of the supplies are staying here for use of the inquisition, but we’re taking back quite a few new Dalish recruits. Most of them arrived last night, scared after what had happened at their camp.” Isannan spoke with a professional tone to his voice, used to giving oral reports. The news of the Dalish recruits wasn’t exceedingly surprising, they had limited options now that their keeper was dead, and their first was in the inquisition.

“Their second was just a boy, and few wanted to follow him.” He continued. “I believe the Lady Karina is settling in nicely, she’s already made friends with a few of the guards. She’s quite, uh, how do I put this… she’s very romantic.”

“Romantic?” I scoffed, “She’s a bit of a flirt, but I don’t know if I’d say she’s romantic.”

A hot mess more like, I thought quietly.

 _Enough to tempt you,_ Guardian commented.

“ANYWAY,” I said, far too loudly, shaken by my spirit companions sudden input and shocking both boys. I forgot momentarily that they couldn’t hear him. “When will we be ready to leave?”

“Within the hour, the wagon is already loaded, we’re just waiting on you really.” Isannan replied, wringing his hands together. It was clear they were waiting on the edges of their seats for the news; for the truth. It was on me to give it to them, as much as I was trying to put it off.

I looked at them, analyzed them. They were tired, much like myself, bags under their eyes and a weariness to their forms. Like a strong breeze could knock either of them over. Isannans long blonde hair was pulled back in an ornate braid that only Nira could’ve done, but it was already messy, strands falling out and puffing in the humidity. His line of freckles over his nose seemed more prominent in the shadowed light of my tent, complimenting his dark eyes and skin.

“We’re waiting on you in more ways than one.” Tannis scoffed, his nose wrinkling in irritation. He and Nira had different noses, I noticed, hers was slightly upturned, while his was almost too big for his face, and while the other two had their hair either put up or neatly cropped, his was in a loose bob, giving him almost a feminine air.

“I know,” I laughed, running a hand over my face. “Alright, do you want the whole story, or the short one?”

“Either, both.” Isannan responding, leaning forward. Tannis mimicked him, tilting in as though to hear me better.

“Alright…”  I shot a quick glance to Sari, who was still snoring away. “Solas and I, as you probably have guessed, have been… uhm… intimate, since our trip to Orlais.”

There was a beat of silence before Isannan reached into his purse, and handed three gold coins to Tannis with a scowl.

“Really?” I scoffed, watching the exchange. Tannis was grinning ear to ear, counting the coins.

“We had a running bet.” He shrugged, tucking the money into his pocket. “He thought you two were a thing back when we met you in the Hinterlands, after that whole uh, chest torn open thing.”

“Yeah and he bet you two started when you got to Orlais,” Isannan continued, “If it's any consolation, Nira bet you weren’t together yet, but that you would after this trip.”

“How much did she-”

“Only three gold, but still.” Tannis sighed, still smiling at the thought of collecting that three gold.

“Cheap bet.” I scoffed, taking a sip from my water.

“Yes, but that's not the secret, because I pretty much knew you were a thing when I saw him in your bed, don’t hold out on me.” Isannan said, bringing one of his legs up to cross over his knee.

“You’re right,” I grumbled, putting my cup carefully back down on the table. I was putting it off, as much as possible. Nira had reacted somewhat favorably, but these two… in truth the most time we’d spent together had been on the trip to the graves, which was mostly filled with quiet sketching and the occasional joke at Nira’s expense. We were always doing other things. I didn’t know them as well as I did Nir.

“When I found out, I’ll admit I wasn’t pleased, but I realized that it just meant something bigger was going on. It isn’t really about him, it’s about the fate of the entire world.” I recounted my memories of learning Solas’ true identity, how had I felt? What emotions, besides the immediate anger, came to mind? Sorrow? Guilt? Pity.

“Solas is Fen’harel.” I almost whispered it, giving them but an instant to take in the information before I continued. Isannans eyes went wide before returning quickly to normal, as though he processed it instantly. Tannis on the other hand jumped back with his mouth agape, fully shocked. “We are working from within the inquisition towards our ultimate goal; to tear the veil down and return power to the elves.”

“Creators…” Isannan mumbled, covering his mouth with one hand, eyes glued to the table.

“For now we just want to deal with Corypheus, and close the rifts.” Correcting mistakes, I thought quietly to myself. They didn’t need to know all the details, if Solas wanted to share them then that was his job. I wasn’t going to tell them it was his fault the rifts existed in the first place.

“And… Nira knows this?” Isannan asked; Tannis was completely stunned and staring at the ceiling, as though he couldn’t possibly process this information.

“Knows and accepts it, in fact she pledged herself to his service... as I hope you will as well.” I replied, I knocked back the rest of my drink, wiping away a bit that missed my mouth before continuing, “Understand that me telling you this means that a great amount of trust has been placed in your hands. Not just my trust, but Solas’ as well.”

“Solas, the apostate, the guy whose life you saved, is… he’s… seriously?” Tannis finally mumbled, pointing around as though he was trying to map it out in his mind. Isannan nodded at me, eyes heavy on my own with an eerie silence about him. Tannis seemed to be spiralling, having to sit down, hand on his forehead like a woman with “the vapors”. “I mean we joked that he was a thousand years old but… creators! The things I said to him!”

“What?” My brow furrowed, it seemed it was now my turn to be confused. I hadn’t been aware that Solas had even really met my friends. “What did you say to him?”

“He… well he talked to us during the event, you know when we uh… stopped? On the way back from the Hinterlands,” He motioned to me, but I understood the instant he had said “event”. What else could he be talking about but the time I was attacked. I had been unconscious for some time, it makes sense that he should talk with them. I waved him on.

“He asked how well we knew you, what we thought about you, what we thought about… him.” He continued at my request, timelines now synced.

“Oh gods.” I laughed. “What did you say?”

“Oh… you know. Things men say?” He swallowed hard, and I caught Isannan sniggering behind his hand.

“Tannis?” I snapped, and he flinched, wringing his hands together nervously.

“I told him the truth! I thought you were uh, probably a lying, about where you came from? The story all seemed too perfect, that everyone you ever knew was dead, and that you didn’t know about your magic? He seemed to agree with me, actually.” His hands shot up suddenly, palms facing me, his ears tilted back; eyes big, brown and flicking between my own. “But that was before I really knew you! Before you were all, important! And he’s-he’s very scary when he wants something!”

“You’re preaching to the choir.” I scoffed, leaning back in my chair, holding my cup in both hands, staring at the bottom of it in irritation. I glanced up to him, motioning for him to sit back down which he did, slowly, and not without a worried look to Isannan. “You’re not… wrong.”

I tilted my head to the side, popping my neck while exhaling, long and tired. The night had been long without much sleep thanks to Sari, and it seemed my day was only going to get more stressful. I stared at the two of them, wondering what our next move as friends and allies would have to be. Elbows on the table, hands fisted together in front of my mouth, I wondered for an instant if I should tell them the truth.

“Trust that I’m protecting you from, well, a story you wouldn’t understand.” I sighed, coming to the conclusion that this certainly wasn’t the time or place. I stood and they were quick to mimic me, jumping to attention so fast it was almost comical. I raised my brow at the two, who seemed more anxious then when they walked in. “I don’t expect you to join us right away, I assume you want time to think, talk to Nira perhaps, she might have some helpful words. She got past it very quickly.”

“We’d… appreciate it.” Isannan replied.

“To say the least,” Tannis finished. They exchanged a look, the tension palpable. “Thank you, for being honest with us.”

“Good luck on coming to a decision,” I nodded back, motioning to the entrance to my tent. “I’ll be out momentarily, Tannis go tell everyone, we’re off in ten.”

Tannis obeyed like a good soldier, jumping to attention and bowing, fist over heart, before hurrying out of the tent with only a worried glance to Isannan, who still stood by the table across from me.

“Isannan, did Solas ask you questions as well?” I asked shortly, having now turned my back to him, making my way towards my bags to finish getting ready. He was quiet save some rustling behind me and for a moment I thought he may not answer. I shot a look over my shoulder, hands now buckling the straps on my bag; and his back went straight.

“He… asked us all questions.” He replied finally, voice sheepish.

“The same as Tannis?”

“Yes.”

“What was your response? When he asked you what you thought of me?” I was smiling now, a shit eating grin that he couldn’t see, fueled by the ever present elation that Solas talked about me. A foolish thing to get excited about, I know, but still.

“I… I would like to remind you this was before I knew you, and him.” He said nervously.

“Noted.” I replied, picking my pack up off the ground and pulling it onto my back. It felt lighter than last I’d carried it, though it surely should have been the opposite seeing as I’d picked up one or two items from the walks I’d had.

“He asked us each what we thought of you, and he specified he wanted honest responses. Nira said she thought you were brave and stupid, but just the right amount, that she would follow you anywhere if asked.” He spoke softly, his voice even and smooth, as though he could remember it like it was yesterday. I was inwardly shocked that she would say something like that so soon after meeting me. We’d known each other, what, a few days by that point? I’d not thought us exceedingly close until recently. Outwardly I only nodded, continuing my preparations for leaving, staff in one hand and a book I’d meant to put in my bag in the other.

“And what did you say?” I sighed, realizing he’d not answered my question and instead tried to distract me with Nira’s kind words.

“I.. said… Uh, I said that you had,” he cleared his throat, and I glanced over to him, a blush turning his ears crimson. “I said you have a fat ass and the uh, attitude to match it. That and, that I trust you.”

“Trust? Not “trusted”?” I asked, quizzically. I was fighting a laugh at the first thing he said, and while funny, was not what I wanted to focus on.

“Trust. I know we kind of stormed in here… but I was honestly scared I couldn’t trust you anymore. You’re doing great things for the People, and, while I can’t speak for Tannis, I would be honored to follow you.” He was still across the room from me, but was slowly stepping closer, eyes heavy, teeth clenched. “Understand, I don’t mean I’ll follow Fen’harel.”

“What do you mean then?” My gaze shot between his two eyes, uncertain which I should be focused on. He was to me now, and he absolutely loomed over me, as most seemed to.

“I’ll follow you Melana, I believe in you, not in some hermit claiming to be an ancient, long dead god.” He put a hand to my shoulder hesitantly, before pulling me into a hug turned awkward by the things in my hands, making it rather impossible for me to return the embrace.

“Thank you, Isannan. Weirdly that uh, means alot to me.” I replied, gently stepping out of his hold, his hands however slid to rest on my shoulders instead of releasing me entirely, keeping me just at arms length.

“Well from where I’m standing, you’re the one doing all the hard work anyway. You deserve us.” He grinned, his eyes slimming and his white teeth almost bright. “Besides, you never told Nira about Tanny and I, so I mean, it’s the least I can do.”

“Hey, not my secret to tell.” I said, waving away his hands to move freely over to my bed where Sari slept still. Isannan followed me, stepping to my side when I stopped. I motioned to her sleeping body. “I haven’t been able to wake her, carry her to the cart for me? I’m sure there are some furs she can snuggle up on.”

“Right way Lady Advisor.” He chirped, happy to flaunt my title before actually obeying me. As a lazy smile spread across his face he bent down, wiggling an arm under her back and another under her knees, lifting her swiftly up into his arms. A few blankets fell to the ground and I busied myself by cleaning up as he gave me a nod, and took her out of the tent.

I was left alone, allowing myself but a moment to consider what had just happened, the idea that Solas had asked around about me was rather… exciting. Certainly I’d have to ask him about this later, maybe it would turn his ears red. I smiled at the thought.

What Isannan said stayed with me as I remade the bed, more out of instinct than anything. He and Nira were both far more accepting of my story than I’d expected them to be. I’d anticipated arguing, anger, maybe a little bit of accusations of lying at the very least. But no. They’d… they’d taken it well. Well, well enough.

I hurried to tuck the loose book back into my bag before doing a once over of the room. I’d collected all of my things. The small bottle that held the dust of the letter hung from my belt, and I gave it a pat, quietly reminding myself of my own memories. How could I have been fooled so easily? The thought of someone violating my mind made me sick to my stomach, so I put it to the back of my brain. Best not to dwell on it.

 _But don’t let it fade._ Guardian reminded me, almost hissing it.

“I won’t,” I sighed, adjusting the strap around my waist. “But I can’t focus on it either, it’ll drive me mad.”

 _I will not spend my day reminding you of this danger when there are many others for me to focus on._ He snapped back, seeming somewhat irritated.

“You don’t have to,” I barked back, “I can handle it, I promise.”

That seemed to satiate him, as he didn’t push the issue any further, though he refused to budge from the circlet form he’d recently started using. Perhaps it brought him closer to the memories so that he might protect them. He’d mentioned once wanting to change his form, something less wooden and so easily damaged.

“What form would most suit you Guardian?” I asked quietly, deciding that I was fully packed and ready to go. My heart ached for the bed to come with me, but I knew it wasn’t meant to be. Solas’ bed would never compare to this one, and neither came close to the comfort I felt in Orlais. I hoped beyond hope that the beds in Skyhold weren’t terrible.

 _Perhaps a kind of metal. In the past I would normally take hold of a suit of armor, or a weapon of some kind. But in truth I’ve grown used to the mobility the wooden cup you bound me to has given me._ He spoke of his past contracts so little, part of me wanted to dig into that. But it seemed… ill timed.

“Perhaps I’ll inquire with the requisitions officer, surely a length of good metal can be easily purchased.” I sighed, adding it to the list of things I had to do when I returned to Haven. My list was growing far too quickly.

I crossed the room, with one last glance around it to ingrain the memories into my heart, before turning, and exiting the tent.

The camp was mostly packed up, the group I’d brought with me had loaded up our two carts, and now only one small tent remained next to mine, and it seemed the handful of guards that were remaining would be sharing it. Reinforcements were due to arrive in a few days to continue to hold this cavern we’d managed to carve out, but for now, the few that stayed had to protect it. The entire group was there, lounging on the back of one of the wagons, having a nice chat. I could see the look in Tannis’ eyes, something akin to fear as he spoke frantically to Nira. Isannan reached the group just as Nira started laughing, putting an arm around her worried brother.

Sera wasn’t listening, she was eyeing the fancy carriage that sat on the road, waiting for us. Lady Karina had wasted no time getting comfy, I could see her practically hanging out her window, smiling devilishly down at Sera. I huffed, making my way quickly over to Sera who sat closest to me, on the right side of the back wagon.

“Stop making moon eyes at the rich,” I laughed with an elbow to Sera’s side, she nearly dropped the arrow she was balancing on one finger, trying to show off I guess. She scowled at me at first, before realizing who was speaking to her, then she was all smiles and chuckles, pulling out a bag from under her knees.

I eyed the sack a moment before realizing it was absolutely writhing. Lizards, she’d gone and filled a sack with lizards.

“I assume you intend to care for those? I’d hate to deal with a bag of dead lizards along the road.” I sighed as she tucked the back carefully back under her legs. She was sat in the back of the covered wagon, which was empty, meaning it was meant for transport rather than cargo. That didn’t stop me from chucking my bag into the front of it, pushed all the way against the wall that divided the front to the back.

“Obviously,” Sera replied as I hoisted myself onto the wagon next to her, walking past her sitting area to throw myself over top the front of it and onto the driver seat. She scooted to the front as well, staying in sitting area, but leaning over the side to speak with me. “You’ll never believe who's at the top of hill.”

I raised an eyebrow, reached back and yanking my pack over top the divider to plop it on the floor in front of me. There was a small lip where I could prop it up enough that it certainly wouldn’t fall. I’d enjoy sketching along the road. Hopefully Tannis wouldn’t be too off put by me riding with him again.

“You’re gonna love it, really.” She continued, smiling wide, her cheeks freckled and pink with the morning cold.

“Who is it?” I asked, my brain immediately went to Solas, but we’d both agreed we’d meet at Haven, though the way he was acting lately, I wouldn’t put it past him to show up randomly.

“You’ll see,” She sang as she moved back into the wagon, retrieving her bag o’ lizards. “All I’m tellin ya is that you’re gonna love it!”

The weight of the wagon shifted as she bounded off, she had her own horse to ride obviously, though I’d kind of wanted her to stay, I could certainly use the conversation. Tannis was more than likely going to ignore me the entire trip, or maybe not even ride with me all together. The thought sent a pang of guilt through my chest, had I done the right thing? If It ruined our friendship, was it really worth telling him the truth? Could Nira and Isannan settle his worries or would I have to speak with him again?

My mind was racing with questions, anxieties and stress taking hold of my thoughts, and fight as I could I couldn’t shake the turning of my stomach as I glanced back, and saw him looking at me. I quickly turned forward again, throwing myself forward to hide from his eyes. He’d not looked angry, or even confused, he was simply… looking at me. My heart pounded in my chest as I rummaged through my bag to pull out my sketchbook and a pencil, quickly finding an empty page to bury my nose in, mostly pretending to sketch by drawing circles over and over again.

The wagon shifted again, and then there was a sound next to me.

“Ahem,” Someone was clearing their throat, but that voice was female, so it most certainly wasn’t Tannis. I looked to my right, and there, standing proudly with her fine leather boots in the mud, was Lady Karina. I looked around, wondering what the shift of weight was, if she hadn’t gotten utop the seat. Isannan had just placed Sari in the rear of the wagon, and was currently trying to arrange her comfortably. Suddenly a loud “AHEM” made my eyes snap back to Karina.

“Yes, My Lady?” I asked slowly, not sure why she was down here bothering me.

“I’ve come to invite you to ride in my carriage,” She said with a toothy grin. Her front teeth seemed almost sharp, sending a chill down my spine. She was just as pretty as the last time I’d seen her, though somehow, more put together. She wasn’t a disheveled mess, her outfit was clearly for travel though it was far too fancy, with a large puffed skirt and a tight leather top with all the gold and white trimmings of a rich Orlesian noble. She looked out of place.

“I see,” I replied, closing my sketchbook. I could hear Isannan stifling a laugh behind me. “I appreciate the offer, Lady Karina, but my men feel more comfortable when they can see me, and I them.”

She huffed a pout that was rather impressive, arms crossing like a child who didn’t get the toy they wanted from Santa.

“Would you not prefer to ride in comfort with me? Rather than down here in the filth with the rest of the common-”

I held a hand out to stop her.

“Lady Karina I appreciate your want to ally with us, and of course your more than generous offer, but understand that I am a leader in within the structure of the Inquisition and must act accordingly. I ride with my men, and that is final.” In truth, I smelled like a two day out trout that's been left in the sun thanks to my messy clothes and didn’t want her thinking negatively of my higiene.

She blinked, as though no one had ever told her “No” before, then she sort of just stood there, stunned.

A moment passed. Weight shifted again, Tannis was climbing up to my right, ready to drive the wagon without so much as a glance in my direction.

“Lady Karina,” I called, snapping her out of whatever daze she’d been sent into. “We’re leaving now My lady, you should return to your carriage lest you get left behind.”

Nira and Isannan lept past us, the two eager to scout ahead, I could see the look on Nira’s face and knew this was her favorite part of travelling. The two bolted up the hill and out of sight before I even looked back to Karina, who was still standing there like I was going to give her any of my attention.

I was about to speak again, tell her to shove off, but there was a crack of reigns from in front of us, and the first wagon started moving, quickly followed by Tannis encouraging our own horses to get a move on.

“I’ll see you when we break for lunch my lady,” I shouted as we started our way up the hill, waving back to the still semi-stunned noble who was in full disbelief that I rejected her. I huffed a sigh as I leaned back in my seat, head tilting back and eyes sliding closed. Maybe I’d just sleep the road to Haven away, surely I’d get a better rest than the night before. If I just… closed my eyes and listened to the sound of the road I could...

“Uhm, Mel…” Tannis’ voice startled me from my half awake state, shaking the wagon with my sudden movements. I shot an irritated glance at Tannis before realizing he hadn’t even been looking at me, but instead was pointing at the road.

I turned and very quickly realized why Sera thought I would be happy.

There were Aravals lining the side of the road, at least five of them, with halla in hordes just waiting to pull them along, and elves, more than I’d seen in the few times I’d visited the camp, all standing now, watching us as our wagons pulled out in front of them.

We passed Sari’s brother, and I shot him a confused look, he waved at me, calling me over.

“I’ll catch up,” I said to Tannis, before throwing myself off the wagon.

I heard Tannis say something but I couldn’t make it out, stumbling to keep my feet under me as I ran towards the young man.

“What is this?” I called to him, quickly closing the distance between us. I still didn’t remember his name, but the girl he loved was now at his side, looking pleased as can be. “Are you leaving the Graves?”

“We’re uh- if it’s alright with you we thought we might… tag along.” He replied, nervously looking from me to my caravan that was, admittedly, leaving me behind. They probably weren’t even aware I wasn’t with them anymore. Other than Tannis, obviously.

“You mean you want us to escort you out of the Graves?” I asked, beyond confused. I’d not thought the Dalish would leave so soon, surely they needed to regroup.

“Yes, and then on to Haven.” He smiled before turning to a group of scouts behind him, “Let’s get moving, we’ll want to stay with the caravan I think.”

The men nodded and then rushed to the Aravals, stirring everyone to leave just as Lady Karina’s carriage whizzed by, ignoring us. I couldn’t quite comprehend what was happening, surely he didn’t mean he intended to bring his clan into the folds of the inquisition? Such a thing was never an option in the game, sure you could drum up Dalish supporters, but actually bringing the Lavellen clan into the inquisition? Unheard of.

“I-I’m sorry,” I laughed, almost scoffing, running my hand over my forehead. “You want to go to Haven… why?”

“My sister is the most important person to me,” He started, his smile kind and yet… sad. He was only a boy, and he’d lost his mother just the night before. It reminded me of Oliver in a way, or at least, of my feelings towards him. “But that’s besides the point, we can all see what the Inquisition could grow to be, with you among the leaders maybe we have a fighting chance against the shemlen.”

“A fighting chance? We aren’t fighting the shemlen, we’re fighting alongside them. It’s not us versus them, we have to work together. Elves, Dwarves, Humans, even the Qunari have to band together and fight this evil, or else we won’t have a world left to fight for.” I replied, putting a hand on his shoulder, steadying us both. “I want the Dalish by my side more than any of them though, know that.”

He nodded, smile bright and tears bubbling in the corners of his eyes. He sniffed big, and suddenly his arms were around me, embracing me like family. I… tried to return it as best I could, but in truth I wasn’t that enthusiastic about it. As exciting as having the Dalish on my side was, I worried about the reactions I’d receive upon my return. And even more so, I worried about what this meant for the actual Inquisition.

If I continued recruiting like this, our elven numbers would outway the human ones. If I continued gaining allies like this, favor would slip from Ben, and the eyes of the advisors would fall on me. If I continued on like this, I would be the more popular candidate for Inquisitor. The elves already acted as though I ran the Inquisition alone.

I sighed. If only Ben were an elf.

Finally, the boy let me go, and muttered some nonsense about keeping his people straightened out, before the Aravals started to move, and I started running to catch back up with my own wagon.

Tannis didn’t slow down for me, but I didn’t mind, time to think, I told myself. I should write ahead, inform the others of what's coming. We certainly didn’t have the room to house all of these new recruits. In fact, now that I’d gotten to thinking about it, I didn’t know how many people we _could_ house. Not to mention, I wasn’t entirely sure how many Dalish were actually coming with. It didn’t look like all the Aravals, there had been more, so maybe Sari’s brother couldn’t convince everyone to join us. It had to have been him who convinced them, no one else would’ve even dared to try.

I finally reached the caravan, just in time as well as I’d started to get tired. I practically tossed myself in the back of the wagon, startling both Tannis and the horses pulling it. Maybe I’d send the elves to Skyhold, along with the last group I’d sent. Actually, I thought as I pulled myself up and started crawling towards the front of the cart, that wasn’t a half bad idea! Occupy the castle with the elf populous, then, when it's time for us to move on, they will have already ingrained themselves into Skyhold. They’ll be living there before the rest, making them the dominant faces around the fortress. People will have to get used to seeing pointed ears.

Tannis grumbled as I climbed over into the passenger's seat next to him, something about startling him, and while I mumbled a quiet apology, I could care less about his whining. I had just brought the Lavellen clan into the folds of the Inquisition, damn near seamlessly, and when the others heard my idea for sending them to Skyhold, they’d have to support it. Skyhold had become my own private project, and I fully intended to fill it to the brim with elves.

Now satisfied with my plan, and allowing myself to let the anxiety of talking to Cullen about all of this, the weight of sleep suddenly felt heavy against my eyes, a few long, steady blinks and I found myself drifting. I was going to fall asleep, of course I was, I’d barely slept the night before, not to mention I’d always had a problem staying awake in moving vehicles. Years of overnight road trips had made cars a place to sleep for me.

“Wake me when we find a spot to stop for lunch,” Was all I managed to get out before yawning twice, and then curling into myself like a cat in the warm sun. The trees created shade save the occasional beam of light that burst through, but with my eyes closed the world was like a dark shade of green, making the transition into the fade somewhat easy.

I’d not travelled to the fade the night before, in fact I rarely was able to unless Solas was there to anchor me. I’d found sleeping without him to be torture, he was made for sleeping, and could drag anyone along with him.

My dreamscape began to form around me, blurry and messy, but a memory I recognized and thought back on fondly thank the gods. Not another open ocean nightmare- instantly, as though the fade had heard my inner monologue, the scenery flickered in and out, before suddenly I was standing on the bow of a small ship, the ocean frightful and violent, the sky black and crackling with electricity. I cursed myself for even thinking up such a nightmare, scratching at my head.

“Guardian,” I hummed, summoning his strange spirit form next to me. The gigantic armor clad man looked stern and troubled, his eyes not leaving the water's surface. “Can you get rid of this nightmare?”

 _It is not your nightmare, so no._ He replied, his mouth a tight line as he glared further into the water, kneeling down to get a better look.

“Not my dream? Then whose…” I followed his gaze, crouching down next to him and straining my eyes to try and see what he saw, and then it hit me. “Sari.”

I saw her barely, struggling to swim up, screaming, fighting, but to no avail, something held her down, or was maybe even… dragging her down. Of course, she’d been stuck in a dream, she’d been drowning this entire time.

 _How could I… I should’ve been able to see this when I settled her mind… I am growing weak as your Guardian._ He snapped and stood suddenly, stomping to the other side of the ship. My brow furrowed and I quickly turned my glare to him.

“I’m sorry?” I scoffed, walking after him as he grabbed a rope that hung against the small mast.

 _You should be,_ He replied, only causing me to scoff again, thick with disbelief. He’d never spoken to me like this before. _If you focussed more on growing your magical power on your own, and less on engaging in inappropriate activities with man who is meant to teach you magic-_

“Ohh no, uh huh, you are not lecturing me about banging my teacher,” I yelled, snatching the rope from his hands and staring him down. He didn’t flinch, clearly unfazed by my anger with him.

 _We will discuss your weaknesses later, at the moment there are more pressing matters to attend to._ He was glaring right back, and I couldn’t believe his gall! Was I not the one he swore to protect? The one who made a pact with him, however unknowing to it I was. I huffed across the ship, finally breaking our glaring contest to start tying the rope around my waist.

 _You will not be going in the water,_ He growled, his ethereal hand gripping my wrist to stop me. _This is the same kind of demon that once made it impossible for you to enter the fade, it is too dangerous._

I brushed his hand off, and finished tying the rope before I turned back to him, my glare harsh against his own.

“I’m a fucking lifeguard,” I hissed back, before diving hands first off the bow of the ship, and into the blackness.

I noticed right away the familiarity of it, as something started pushing down, and it certainly wasn’t the current. It was eerily silent under the water, the only sound was my own heartbeat pumping in my ears. My dive carried me gracefully down, deep enough that Sari could now see me, her eyes wide as they settled on my slowly approaching form. She became more frantic in her swimming, and I saw clear blue tears bubble from her eyes and float towards me. One pressed against my own cheek, streaking wet against me before drifting past.

I was swimming lazily, the strange drag of the blackness did most of the work for getting to her, and get to her I did. She embraced me for but a moment, suddenly realizing that should she let go, she’d surely start to sink again. However, Guardian had a tight grip on the other end of the rope tied round my waist, so we didn’t move at all.

She was slippery, like I couldn’t quite get a grip on her or maybe she’d fade away at any moment. It was then I realized how weak she must be, she’d been fighting this terror all through the night, the moments when Guardian were helping her must have been the only time she could breath. I fought back tears as I held her tight, and gave the rope a few quick tugs.

We moved upwards slowly, and I felt Sari’s shoulders shrug with releaf that finally, someone had saved her. However, the second we got close to the ship, she got heavier, like the current wanted her more than me. I fought to hold onto her, but she was far too slippery. I managed to get a tight grip on her hand just as I felt Guardian’s arms around my hips, yanking me out of the water. I inhaled long and hard, thanking him silently. It was still going to be a fight to pull her above the ever crashing waves.

Sari gasped as she finally broke the surface, her hand shaking against mine, barely slipping before I was grabbing at her again. I gripped down, Guardians grasp around my waist the only thing anchoring me to the surface. The ship fluctuated in ripples as Sari struggled against the blackness surrounding her, another inch of her body now exposed. I pulled her, throwing her arms over my shoulders, wrapping my own arms around her torso, feet planted firmly side of the ship.

“Don’t let go!” Sari screamed, her voice breaking as a strange liquid poured from her mouth, black and viscous, certainly not the ocean water that slapped against us both, for it stained the skin on my leg where it fell against. I tightened my grip around her and gave her another pull, at first I thought perhaps I was making progress, I could see her legs now, though she was coated in what looked like the same liquid that kept coming out of her mouth, it was almost as though she had been breathing it longer than air. But then I felt something pull against her under the water, and I was no longer making progress.

In fact I was now fighting an uphill battle, as something, or someone, was dragging her in the opposite direction. Sari’s screams grew louder as she started slipping from my fingers and sinking back into the depths, she became frantic, desperately trying to hold on to anything she could get her hands on. She clawed at my sweater, ripping into it, and I held onto her shirt, trying and failing to use it as leverage.

“Fucking shit-” I swore, my nails digging into her skin to try and keep her above the surface, but she was still sinking. I dipped into my pool of magic, like pulling from the pit of my stomach the energy flowed up and through me, extending to engulf us both. She stopped sinking, but no matter how hard I pulled she wasn’t coming up. “I’m sorry Guard but I have to-”

 _Just do it,_ He snapped, his arms still tight around my waist.

I pulled magic from him, something we’d yet to master, and added it to my pool. Every time, every gods damned time I touched his power it was like touching an open flame. Heat all around me, a strange kind of anger deep down, rooted in something true and kind, in a loyalty that was unwavering.

My knees shook as I tried to push again, my legs aching as they slowly but surely extended. She was moving, and crying bubbling tears as finally her legs broke the surface, and with a sickening “Snap” sound, she collapsed on top of me.

In an instant we were no longer in her dream, but back in mine, surrounded by wildflowers and birch trees, the echoes of the ocean fading to a memory. She panted, and dared not move from my chest, her face buried in my sweater.

“I’ve got you,” I whispered, kissing the top of her head gently. “You’ve got nothing to be scared of now da’len, I’ll never let the fade scare you like that again.”

She sat up slowly, the blackness of the ocean still staining her face, globs of it still coating her skin and hair. I cupped her cheeks in the palms of my hands, allowing her thick clear tears to roll down them, she sobbed.

“I should’ve realized something was wrong when you didn’t wake up this morning, I’m so sorry, what a horrible teacher I make,” I was fighting back my own tears now, my thumb trying to brush the stain from her cheek, but I only made it worse, streaking it like a tire against pavement. She only shook her head and cried, her long black hair falling around her shoulders, her usual white vallaslin turned black from the water.

She was trembling under my touch, clearly exhausted by the trials she had just undergone. I remembered the first time we met, how scared she’d been of me, how she’d tried to flee from me, and how now she gripped me so tight I worried she’d leave bruises.

I lowered her down into the comfort of my soft childhood memory, the grass gentle and the wind calm against our skin. We laid there in the grass for hours, eventually she stopped sobbing and simply rested, long breaths escaping her as I ran fingers through her hair. Guardian stood nearby during the entire dream, just at the edges of my consciousness, watching patiently.

Sari stirred after some time, I’d been tying long braids into her hair absentmindedly, enjoying the feeling of her silky straight hair. She sat up slowly, blearily as though having been asleep from a long time, strands of her black hair fell loose around her flushed cheeks. Her eyes were still red from crying, her face still stained from the ocean.

“Thank you,” She mumbled, her eyes seemed to focus on me finally, laying beneath her looking just as tired as she must’ve felt. She sat up quickly, shifting to sit between my legs. I followed her, the two of us still tangled together on the ground like lovers hiding in the brush. She was blushing widely, trying to hide her face from me, as though this was embarrassing.

In truth, now that I had a moment to look at it from the outside, we did look rather intimate. I… scooted back from her a bit, not wanting to make her uncomfortable. She’d flirted with me that once, but that was different than this. This felt far more intense.

“Sari…” I started, putting a hand to her shoulder, she flinched but settled into it, glancing my way. “I never intended for this to happen, you must understand.”

“I killed her, you know.” Her voice broke as she spoke, her knuckles white as she clung to her chest as though her heart would burst from it. “The Lyrium may have driven her mad, poisoned her body and soul, but I’m the one who killed her.”

I hesitated, unsure of how I was supposed to respond to something like that. It was true, if I wanted to admit that or not I wasn’t sure, but deep down, I knew it was true. I’d watched her do it, I’d been right there. I was the one who’d brought her back down after the fact.

“I… I know Sari.” I finally squeaked out, my hand travelling from her shoulder to hold her hand against her chest. “But she wasn’t herself anymore, she was gone.”

“But why did it have to be me?” She sobbed, turning to face me, tears daring to burst out once again. “I shouldn't've gone in the aravalI, I should never have gone to the Emerald Graves!”

The dams broke and she was bawling, her shoulders sagging and her fists punching the ground at her sides. Tears fell down her cheeks like an overflowing cup, but she didn’t cry out, her teeth holding her bottom lip in place. The solidity of the fade wavered, a heat emanating from her seemed to charge the air around us.

I heard the clinking of Guardians armor as he moved closer, the edges of my badly stitched together dream getting tighter. She was bursting with emotional energy, threatening to let every demon within a mile into both our subconscious minds.

“Hey,” I called, scooting in front of her, hands back on her shoulders. Her eyes moved to meet mine but the tears didn’t stop. She needed an anchor, she was entirely inexperienced as a mage, untrained and shamed into hiding. Which was a disgrace on her mothers part, not teaching her first what she needed to know. Had she thought she’d never die? Never have to pass on the clan? “Sit up, give me your hands.”

I sat on my knees, back straight and hands extended for hers. She sniffed a few times, eyes rolling and blinking as she tried to calm her nerves enough to listen to me. She slid her legs under her with some difficulty, trying to mimic me as best she could. Sitting across from me like this she sat a head above me, her long black hair hanging loose around her torso and framing her face, accentuating her long ears.

She held her hands out, and I clasped them between us, eyes sliding closed. I could feel her energy if I focused, the magic inside of her was timid and scared, as small as an acorn but as violent and angry as a dragon.

“Magic is tethered to our emotional state, I’m no expert but that much is obvious.” I started, peeking an eye open to make sure she’d closed hers, she hadn’t, but quickly did when she realized I caught her staring. I smirked, eyes shut once again. “You can feel it, like an energy at the pit of your stomach.”

“It’s-it feels hot.” She replied, her voice straining.

“Don’t focus on yours,” I gripped her hands a bit tighter. “This bond I’ve made is a door, walk through it.”

She was quiet a moment, like she was focusing extremely hard before she gasped, her hands nearly pulling away from mine but I held on tight. I could feel her prodding around my magic, her pinprick of an aura brushing against my own. Mine had doubled in size since I’d started training with Solas, he’d been a good teacher.

A breeze swept my hair into the air, something soft, like falling leaves, brushed against my cheek.

“Why is your power so soft and warm?” Sari eventually asked after a few minutes of exploring my magical energy.

“It’s about how you feel inside, listen, you can’t think of magic as separate from you, it _is_ you, it’s an extension of your body; your very being.” I opened my eyes as I spoke, and she did the same, our souls were currently entwined so she seemed rather in sync with me. We held hands still, but they fell between us.

“So I’m never allowed to feel emotions?” She snapped, and a crack broke in our bond like a tear through paper, making us both wince. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, you didn’t know.” I replied, a soft smile still gracing my lips. “That’s not what I meant, of course you can feel emotions, this isn’t the circle. But you need to learn how to block out the demons so they don’t try and feed off those emotions.”

At that I motioned to Guardian, who grunted his approval. He stepped forward and extended his hand, drawing a symbol in the air, and then pushing out with his palm. A barrier appeared around us, then quickly spread out, solidifying the dream. The wavering walls of forest were now clear, and the sound of birds could be heard in the distance.

“I never learned how to set up wards, Guardian has been protecting my mind ever since I made the pact with him, but there's a section on them in one of Solas’ books.” I started, eyes still following the tree line, if I squinted I could see spirits dancing in the distance. “Once we return, you and I will read through the chapter together, for now however…”

I didn't have to finish my sentence before Guard reached over, two fingers raised, and drew the same symbol in front of Sari’s face. She watched with bewilderment in her eyes as the barrier appeared around her head much like it had the field, before slowly fading away. She blinked a few times, her face clearing and mind centering.

“It’s like a headaches gone I didn’t know I had,” She gasped, a hand coming up to run through her hair as though testing to make sure the pain had gone.

“I know how that feels,” I said with a smile, the dream beginning to waver due to Sari’s sudden improvements. She was ready to wake up. “before I came to the Inquisition it was like living in a blur… being here just feels less painful.”

My eyes caught the sight of something large sitting at the edge of the barrier, at first I mistook it for a statue of Fen’harel, you know, like the ones that you find in the woods covered in moss. But as the fade shifted, I caught six red eyes staring towards us.

I moved to rush to the wolf as soon as I realized what he was, but it was too late, the dream had gone, and I was awake, my head in Tannis’ lap as he hummed a tune I’d heard before.

I didn’t remember putting my head on his lap, I must have done it subconsciously. So I rose slowly, not wanting to startle him, but of course I failed. He dropped the reins in surprise, making a squeaking sound as jerked forward to catch the falling strap.

“Melana!” He gasped, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t wake you did I?”

I sat up all the way, my back aching and popping as I stretched it out. I slid the reins back into his hands and scooted back to my spot.

“No, your song was lovely,” I replied through a yawn, glancing around. We were in a field of some kind, with tall stalks of corn on our left and a field of tomatoes on our right. There were people out in the fields, working. In the distance I saw a barn. We were passing a large farm. “We should stop and see if they would sell us any supplies, the Inquisition could always use more.”

“They aren’t allowed to, this is a royal farm, they supply the Orlesians with food, they won’t help us.” Tannis mumbled, eyes dark as he tried to focus on the road. “Even if they wanted to… There's a rumor about another blight starting soon, and what with all the Grey Wardens disappearing? It’s no wonder the Orlesians are hoarding food.”

“That’s bleak, thanks Tannis.” I scoffed, looking over my shoulder as we past another farmer. We met eyes, and I knew without seeing her ears that she was an elf. Dirty and thin, skin red from sun damage, and… scars, around her neck.

I shuddered and looked away, not wanting to think about it.

For all my talk about feeling better in Thadis, there were still things that I couldn’t bear to witness. Slavery was one of them. Surely this girl wasn’t a slave currently, but still there wasn’t even a chance she was being paid what she should, and based on the placement of those scars… she’d been a slave in the past. She may have come to Orlais to be free, and instead she was working the fields to feed the fat country.

Anger bubbled in my stomach like bile, and I had a moment of realization. Solas would be proud of me for feeling this way, he would feed the flame if he was present. I looked back to the girl, who was still staring in awe at the slowly passing caravan.

Feed the flame.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out a gold sovereign.

“Hey!” I shouted, startling the girl.

She met my gaze just as I flicked the coin, the money landing right into the palm of her hand. She looked at it, then to me, a toothy grin making her face light up and a wave was my reward before she disappeared from view.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Tannis sighed as I settled back into my seat.

“It’s the least I could do.” I replied, tucking my money pouch back away. “Besides, maybe she’ll be a powerful ally one day.”

Tannis only snorted before we were interrupted by Sari’s weight shifting the entire cart as she climbed into the front seat.

“Good Morning you two!” She chirped, plopping between us. Tannis struggled to keep the wagon on the road, pulling the reins this way and that before settling back to a normal position. Sari looked chipper, awake and ready for the day, as for once demons weren’t plaguing her every thought.

“So,” She sighed, her eyes bright and looking to the road ahead. “When are we stopping for breakfast?”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm moving to Portland Oregon on June 4th and theres alot going on in between that, so wish me luck, and don't expect another chapter any time soon.
> 
> but enjoy the slow churn that is this damn story.
> 
> next time... uhm... Cullen continues to be a thorn in the side of our hero, and Melana has a few realizations about how the plot of video games work.


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